1
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:07,299
<i>(SINGING) The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,678
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

3
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,599
(HORN BELLOWING)

4
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,821
(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)

5
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,576
(TIRES SCREECHING)

6
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:37,829
D'oh!

7
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,206
(SCREAMS)

8
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,290
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

9
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,376
(CLOCK CHIMING)

10
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,638
(CAR HORNS HONKING)

11
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,266
<i>BILL: Bill and Marty here
in the middle of another</i>

12
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,394
<i>4th of July Weekend
Shock Jock Talk Block.</i>

13
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,979
<i>All weekend long,
we'll be counting down</i>

14
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,358
<i>the top 500 wacky sound
effects of all time.</i>

15
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,151
<i>MARTY: And here's
number 499.</i>

16
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,237
<i>Where were you when
you first heard this?</i>

17
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,404
<i>(TWANG)</i>

18
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,823
<i>I'll tell you where I was.
I was out eating...</i>

19
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,200
<i>(CHINESE MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

20
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,495
<i>I think I had Kung Pao...
And I ended up on the...</i>

21
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,663
<i>(TOILET FLUSHING)</i>

22
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,832
I can't listen
to this anymore.

23
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,044
Nobody shuts out
my blather!

24
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,130
Uh-oh.

25
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,802
Homie, let's pick up
those hitchhikers.

26
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,845
They don't look like
the stabby kind.

27
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,597
Mom, you said
all hitchhikers

28
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,307
were drug-crazed
thrill seekers.

29
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:44,938
I said they were thrill-crazed drug
seekers. Don't put words in my mouth.

30
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,482
Thanks for stopping.

31
00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,486
This is my girlfriend
Beatrice.

32
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:54,948
(GIGGLES)

33
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,575
Young love.

34
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,618
(CHUCKLES)

35
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,954
Were we ever
that stupid?

36
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,039
Of course we were.

37
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,588
Marge, I thought of a new thing.
It's called biking out.

38
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,966
It's a combination of
biking and making out.

39
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,217
I don't know.

40
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,262
Come on. All the teens
on bikes are doing it.

41
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,433
(SCREAMING)

42
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,150
Howdy-do, strangers?

43
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,694
Hop on in before you become
a couple runneth over.

44
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:35,363
Ned, are you sure?
They're covered with mud.

45
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,782
And in that mud, I'm planting
the seed of friendship.

46
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,577
Name's Ned Flanders.

47
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,413
As the elephant said to the peanut
vendor, toss those in my trunk.

48
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,832
Marge, I love this guy.

49
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,876
Put her there,
muddy buddy.

50
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,836
He rhymes!
Oh, happy day.

51
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,174
So are you two engaged,
engaged to be engaged?

52
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,426
No. We thought we'd
wait a little while.

53
00:02:56,509 --> 00:03:00,347
Really? Not married? And you
were bicycling two abreast?

54
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,932
I wish. We were
bicycling to a lake.

55
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,435
(LAUGHS) Word play.
Never cared for it.

56
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:09,064
But it's never too soon for you
two to join the "I do" crew.

57
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,524
Now I'm not saying it's
all Jell-O with Cool Whip.

58
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,360
She'll nag you.
She'll try to change you.

59
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,861
You'll be fighting
the same basic fight

60
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:17,030
for years and
years and years...

61
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,824
Ned, don't you think you're
exaggerating just a bit?

62
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:24,120
I think I'd like to finish my sentence.
And years.

63
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,497
Um...

64
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,248
How long have you
two been married?

65
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,335
Since 2:00 this afternoon.
Welcome to our honeymoon.

66
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,419
(BOTH EXCLAIM)

67
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:35,590
Marge Bouvier,
will you not marry me?

68
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:39,969
Homer Simpson, I would be
delighted not to marry you.

69
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,972
Then I now pronounce us
just dating.

70
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,308
(GROANING)

71
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:49,479
I love kissing you. I
never want to knock it off.

72
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:51,606
Knock it off!

73
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,359
How dare you expose my children
to your tender feelings?

74
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,736
Bart, don't you dare take
your eyes off that Gameboy!

75
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:57,821
Yes, sir.

76
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,698
Avast, you...

77
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,873
I'm cuckoo for
killing stuff!

78
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:13,503
Video games, the reason this generation
of Americans is the best ever.

79
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,764
I can't believe Homer ruined
another family picnic.

80
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,267
Hey! Everybody pees
in the pool.

81
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,561
Not from
the diving board.

82
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,689
(MUMBLING) Why do we have to have
these two jerks along? I can't...

83
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,441
You're driving too fast.

84
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,942
You're losing your hair.

85
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,068
You sneeze like a girl.

86
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,279
Your neck looks
like a sideways ass.

87
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,697
HOMER: That's it!

88
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,867
Eat gravel, hags!

89
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:48,496
Homer, that was rude and shortsighted.
Patty and Selma have the map.

90
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,665
I have the situation
under control.

91
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,792
The compass needle
is pointing east.

92
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,586
That's the fuel gauge.

93
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,337
HOMER: Uh-Oh.

94
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,424
How many times do I
have to say I'm sorry?

95
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:01,217
You haven't said
you're sorry.

96
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,678
I know. I was hoping
the number might be zero.

97
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,931
(MARGE GRUNTING)

98
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:09,601
(DOORBELL CHIMES)

99
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,979
<i>Can we use your phone'?
Oi course.</i>

100
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:15,940
It's just past the sushi
bar, behind the limbo pit,

101
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,734
right in front of
the blackjack table.

102
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,612
And feel free to stay.
We just put out the cheese.

103
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,822
We have cubes of yellow,
cubes of orange

104
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,949
and cubes of
orange and yellow.

105
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:30,079
A really fun party full of colored
cheeses and awesome stuff to do?

106
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,916
Doesn't seem like your
kind of thing, Marge.

107
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,585
We'll stay for one hand
roll or two nigiri.

108
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,754
Then we have to
get back to the kids.

109
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,340
Let my dad enjoy them
alfiflelongen

110
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,592
(ABE LAUGHING)

111
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,305
Stop! Stop!

112
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:48,765
Where are the cookies?

113
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:49,933
I don't remember!

114
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,476
Wrong answer!

115
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,228
(MOANING)

116
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,355
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

117
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,571
Oh. For me?

118
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,073
No. Get two of your own.

119
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,617
(LAUGHING)
You're a funny one.

120
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,745
That's strong. Are you
trying to get me drunk?

121
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,039
No. I'm trying
to get me drunk.

122
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:17,001
You know, my horoscope said I'd
meet the man of my dreams tonight.

123
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,755
Well, a horoscope would never
lie to a pretty girl like you.

124
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:24,259
You are adorable.
Are you alone?

125
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,386
No. I'm talking to you
at this great party.

126
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,429
Well, then would
you like to limbo?

127
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:32,141
Limbo? You mean the dance or that
place where unbaptized babies go?

128
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,185
Either way, I'm in.

129
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:36,563
(LIMBO MUSIC PLAYING)

130
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,567
<i>(SINGING) Every limbo
boy and girl...</i>

131
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,236
<i>(SINGING) ...All around
the something world</i>

132
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,905
<i>Gonna do the limbo rock</i>

133
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:49,325
<i>Something something
limbo something</i>

134
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:54,247
Limbo low now.
How low can you go?

135
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,708
That's how low
you can go!

136
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,918
Why are you dancing
with that strange woman?

137
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,004
She's not strange.
She's fun!

138
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,215
And she doesn't get jealous
when I talk to other women.

139
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:07,176
Well, then she can
have you all to herself!

140
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,811
How about
a sushi fight?

141
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,563
Sushi fight!

142
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,859
These fish died
for nothing!

143
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,861
(ALL LAUGHING)

144
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:29,741
Homer Simpson,
I wish I'd never met you.

145
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:36,998
Thanks for the lift.

146
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:41,794
What a cute couple. She's gonna
take him for a lot of money.

147
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,215
Here we are.

148
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:53,348
A log cabin? What am I? Davy Crockett?
Also, who's Davy Crockett?

149
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:57,393
Kids, this place has very special
memories for your mother and me.

150
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,979
Well, leaving right now will
become a special memory for me.

151
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,189
(LAUGHING)

152
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,566
(SINGSONG) They
have a pedal car.

153
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,485
(SINGSONG)
Pedal cars suck.

154
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,320
(SINGSONG) They're
worse than walking.

155
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:10,698
(SINGSONG) I'll put 100
bucks in your college fund.

156
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,992
(SINGSONG) I'll
take 10 bucks now.

157
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,620
(SINGSONG) I'll steal it
back when you're sleeping.

158
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,216
Well, when the sun
goes down,

159
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,344
it means God's gone to China
to watch over those good folks.

160
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,763
Time for some shuteye.

161
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,933
Why, Flanders,
you rogue.

162
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,435
All Marge and I need
are a queen-size bed

163
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,896
and a king-size
"Do Not Disturb" sign.

164
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:42,980
(PURRING)

165
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,191
Sorry, Homer.

166
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:48,444
I'm afraid it's separate
accommodations for you notly-weds.

167
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,988
What? But I have urges.

168
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,074
That's just your
trouser devil talking.

169
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,618
He's not talking.
He's yelling.

170
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:58,746
(SIGHS)

171
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,332
Goodnight, Marge.

172
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,042
(HUMMING)

173
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:08,589
Sweet dreams,
my new best friend.

174
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,223
What better way to
celebrate our wedding night

175
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:20,143
than by keeping
an unmarried couple apart.

176
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,813
Oh, Maude,

177
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,940
yourdead
grandmother's pajamas.

178
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,775
You know what
that does to me.

179
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,821
(GASPS)

180
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:40,371
lneverthought I'd say
this, but stupid Flanders.

181
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,374
There's absolutely
nothing to worry about.

182
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:47,628
I'm in my own room being
chaperoned by an actual Christian.

183
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,047
Well, I just don't trust
that Homer Simpson.

184
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:54,260
He's that rare combination of up
to something and good for nothing.

185
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,344
(CHUCKLES)

186
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,972
Good one. We should
put that in the file.

187
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,727
Nice.

188
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,771
(BOTH LAUGHING)

189
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:07,106
(BOTH LAUGHING)

190
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,862
(HUMMING)

191
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,698
(MARGE SOBBING)

192
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,788
Madame, perhaps I can
be of some assistance.

193
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,415
But I can't take
a dress from a man

194
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,168
who looks so good
and smells so clean.

195
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,462
Please. When you came
to the door tonight,

196
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:33,424
I instantly imagined you in a ruched
burgundy bias-cut evening gown

197
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:37,345
with a Wolverine hem and a
contrasting cerise tulle decolletage.

198
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,889
Really? Me? You did?

199
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:44,185
Oh, yes. With a pair of saffron
brocade diamond mink pumps.

200
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:49,190
Oh! Pumps are shoes.
That explains a lot.

201
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,901
Mmm-hmm.

202
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:57,698
Marjorie, you look beautiful.
Let me take you for a ride.

203
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,076
Or should I say glide?

204
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,578
I'm just happy
you're talking again.

205
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,289
You didn't say a word
for 45 minutes.

206
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,966
Marge?

207
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,259
You don't need her, baby.

208
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,302
Sylvia's got
everything you want.

209
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,762
Do you have
a pineapple pizza?

210
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,098
Pineapple and pepperoni.

211
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,058
This is all
going so fast.

212
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,521
We should be getting
back to the party.

213
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:32,942
Marjorie, that party was beneath a woman
of your elegance and sophistication.

214
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,944
You... Oh, look,
a budget motel.

215
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:44,245
I see the word "Vacancy" is
lit and the word "No" is not.

216
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:47,331
Let us pray the "No"
is not broken, huh?

217
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:54,755
Alberto, I'm not sure
if this is such a good idea.

218
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,633
First we make love, then we
decide if it was a good idea.

219
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,677
That's the European way.

220
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:10,855
I came here once with Marge.
Are you Marge, Sylvia?

221
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,442
Homer, I can be whoever
you want me to be.

222
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,865
I want you to be Marge.

223
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:24,493
Marge?

224
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,663
HOMER: Marge,
is that you?

225
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,373
(GASPS) My husband!

226
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,251
Why do married women
always have husbands?

227
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,336
(GRUNTS)

228
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,592
Marge, what are you
doing here?

229
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,886
The same thing
you're doing here.

230
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,680
You better not be!
I mean, great!

231
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,767
We both came to rekindle
our precious memories

232
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,436
of when we were
young and in love. Right?

233
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:54,315
We sure did. Rekindle, rekindle...
Okay, let's go.

234
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:59,445
I have a better idea. Let's spend
the night together right here.

235
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,281
Fine.

236
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,992
But I don't want to sleep in
the same room with that chest.

237
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:07,954
I feel the same way
about that lamp.

238
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:11,624
Okay. But first the chest.

239
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,084
Okay!

240
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,672
There you are!

241
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,966
Homie, what's
taking so long?

242
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,301
Listen, you're a classy lady
and a great sushi fighter,

243
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,470
but you're going
in the box!

244
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,889
Coming, Marge.
Homie?

245
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,612
Good evening.
I am Alberto.

246
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,490
Sylvia. Let's get out of this
chest and go have a drink.

247
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,409
Actually, I am quite
comfortable here.

248
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,577
There is a flask of
cognac in my pocket.

249
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,079
Do you think
you can reach it?

250
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,748
SYLVIA: Okay.
Is this it?

251
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,917
ALBERTO: No.
But don't stop twisting.

252
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,127
(BOTH LAUGHING)

253
00:13:56,627 --> 00:14:00,673
Now let's spend the rest of the
night making sweet, sweet...

254
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:02,758
Kids?

255
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:07,221
I'm through babysitting
these monsters! Good night.

256
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,307
We won! He's asleep!

257
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,101
And we'll
stay up forever!

258
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,191
Well, that takes
care of those three.

259
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,028
Want to go for
a lakeside snuggle?

260
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,822
Homer Simpson, you devil.

261
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:31,412
Well, that takes
care of those three.

262
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:34,373
Want to go play
some Lakeside Boggle?

263
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:37,710
Homer Simpson, you devil.

264
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,921
But I think we
should unpack first.

265
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,969
All right. The trick
is to ease them off.

266
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:51,849
(GRUNTING)

267
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,605
What is this dump?

268
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:01,776
Ruthie, this dump is where
your mother and I met.

269
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:06,864
It was a tale of betrayal, redemption
and a lovely continental breakfast.

270
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,660
Homer, those are
our wedding bungees!

271
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,915
Marjorie?
Homer?

272
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,416
It's so good
to see you.

273
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,752
We owe you two
a debt of thanks.

274
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,921
Homer, if I hadn't come
to this motel with you,

275
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,672
I never would have
met Alberto.

276
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:24,757
(GASPS)

277
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,927
And Marjorie, if you had
completed your seduction of me,

278
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,262
I never would
have met Sylvia.

279
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,305
(GASPS)

280
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,767
I can't believe one of the most
beautiful moments in our marriage

281
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,560
is based on lies.

282
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,771
You're just as bad as me,

283
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:42,108
and you used to be better,
so that makes you worse!

284
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:45,361
I don't think we can ever
trust each other again.

285
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,114
Ruthie, kick me away
from this nightmare.

286
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,323
Okay.

287
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:52,159
I wish I'd never met you.

288
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,662
Or you.

289
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,793
Why can't you just
admit we're lost?

290
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:03,629
I'll tell you what's lost,
your sense of adventure.

291
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:06,340
Just ask those guys
for directions.

292
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:11,011
Anti-nuclear activist, Dr. Helen Caldicott?
Director Julie Taymor?

293
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,555
Do you love
these women?

294
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,014
They're okay,
I guess.

295
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,308
Let's just skip to the
Windsor knot instructions.

296
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:20,020
Excuse me, boys. My brother
is lost and kind of a jerk.

297
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,899
If he'd brought a map of the
grounds as I suggested, then we...

298
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:27,903
Lisa, do you know why I spend every
day after school in detention?

299
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,072
So I don't have to
come home to you!

300
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,492
Oh, Bart. Don't say things
you can't take back.

301
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,078
It's out there.
Deal with it.

302
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,330
Oh, great.
Now you woke the baby.

303
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,541
I told you we should've
left her with your mother!

304
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:43,711
My God, Bart.
What happened to us?

305
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,422
We grew up.

306
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,679
So I'm sure you
missed Marge last night.

307
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,348
Yeah. I missed her
like five times.

308
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,267
What a charming
single entendre.

309
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,810
Now look, I know
marriage is scary,

310
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,520
but if you really
think she's the one,

311
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,647
it gives you two
a shot at forever!

312
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,275
Forever?
That would be awesome.

313
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,444
Okay, here she comes.

314
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,112
Why don't you take
Marge for a walk,

315
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,281
open your heart and
see what pours out?

316
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:16,285
I suppose you and Maude will
be coming along, as well?

317
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:21,290
Don't you think I got better things to
do on my honeymoon than spy on you two?

318
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,043
Red Dog,
this is Moustache One.

319
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,836
We have possible
male-female interaction.

320
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,964
Be prepared to terminate
inappropriate contact.

321
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,635
Ready with
the ice water.

322
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,136
<i>NED: Lock onto
his Wiener.</i>

323
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,888
We have wiener lock.

324
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:37,848
Marge, when I'm with you,

325
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,892
I get that feeling
like when I got that

326
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,269
smart kid's
report card by mistake.

327
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:45,981
And for a minute,
I thought I had all A's

328
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,651
and that my name
was Howard Simberg.

329
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,903
You make me feel
that way, too.

330
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,155
I know we'll get
married some day.

331
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,449
And to prove it, I'll carve
our names on this tree

332
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:58,994
so all who are hopelessly
lost in the woods can see it.

333
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,832
I hate
other people's love.

334
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:13,676
(EXCLAIMS)

335
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:25,771
So that wasn't Marge's glider parked
outside the motel five years ago.

336
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:30,025
I'm getting out of this marriage
while I'm still young and handsome!

337
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:32,319
Mmm?

338
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,071
(SNIFFLES)

339
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,698
Forever.

340
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:36,782
(CRYING)

341
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:40,369
I couldn't even keep a
promise I made to a tree.

342
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,623
Maybe it's not too late. Maybe
I can still save our love!

343
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,042
If I just show
her that carving...

344
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:53,924
What are you doing?

345
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,426
Saving our marriage!

346
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,594
Don't be silly.

347
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:01,557
Our marriage can weather any
storm, just like this tree.

348
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,857
Help! Fat man
hanging from a tree!

349
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,320
Uh-uh.
That's for fires.

350
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,323
Take my hand!

351
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,908
I don't want to let go
of our special carving!

352
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,745
Homer, our marriage
isn't on a piece of bark!

353
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,040
It's in us!
Now take my hand.

354
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,421
(HOMER SCREAMING)

355
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:43,849
(SCREAMING)

356
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,062
Marge, I don't want to die
with us mad at each other.

357
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,605
Me, neither, Homie.

358
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,774
I know parts of our
marriage are based on lies,

359
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:55,152
but so are a lot of good things,
religion, American history...

360
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:59,198
I know. We had a fight. We
were both tempted. We're human.

361
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,076
The important thing is
we love each other.

362
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,874
Now we wait for
the river to freeze

363
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,377
if my theory of global
cooling is correct.

364
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,754
Hey, you guys want
a lift in my pedal boat?

365
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,130
It's not a pedal boat.

366
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,800
It's a pedal car that
Bart drove into the river

367
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,636
because he knows a shortcut
that's not on the map.

368
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,055
How would you like a shortcut
to the bottom of the river?

369
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:26,100
If it's your shortcut,
I'll be high and dry.

370
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:31,855
Knock it off
back there.

371
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:32,981
But we're married.

372
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,483
Okay. But keep it PG.

373
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:35,734
How about R?

374
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,445
PG-13.
(WHOOPS) Adult situations!

375
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:56,398
English - US - PSDH