1 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,591 (SINGING) The Simpsons 2 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,895 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 3 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,401 (HORN BELLOWING) 4 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,415 (PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE) 5 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:48,632 (TIRES SCREECHING) 6 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,019 (HONKING) 7 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,813 (TIRES SCREECHING) 8 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,233 D'oh! 9 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,734 (SCREAMS) 10 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:08,818 (BRAKES SCREECHING) 11 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,532 Worst couch gag ever. 12 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,256 Why do we have to go to the rec center? 13 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,174 I want to play with my friends! 14 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,678 When you're older, you'll miss these fun activities. 15 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,722 You're older. Why don't you do these fun activities? 16 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,225 Because no one's making me. Bye-bye! 17 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:41,309 (HOMER LAUGHING) 18 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:46,481 Welcome to Shaolin Kung Fu. Ten thousand years of knowledge 19 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,984 will be passed along to those whose parents have signed 20 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,068 a permission slip. 21 00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,446 The rest of you have just purchased very expensive pajamas. 22 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,532 (BOYS GROANING) 23 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,284 (SPEAKING HINDI) 24 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,954 Pardon me, master. But what does a big fat wad like you 25 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,414 know about Kung Fu? 26 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,166 Kung Fu is not about physique 27 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,294 but the channeling of one's energy, 28 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,878 or chi. 29 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:13,508 If you doubt my skill, please feel free to attack at my signal. 30 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,011 (BOYS YELLING) 31 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,179 (JEFF GROANING) 32 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,223 My Chi! 33 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,192 Do we have any more paints? 34 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,987 My orange isn't the orange of that orange. 35 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,655 Just paint the damn fruit! 36 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,615 Lower your expectations, Lisa. 37 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,909 Public program, public program. 38 00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:43,830 TEACHER: Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 39 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:48,084 Stop! Stop! Juliet, this is terrible! 40 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,170 Your art is personal and wrong! 41 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,464 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) I was painting with my heart. 42 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,757 And if you look carefully, 43 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,842 you can see that the knight is Josh Groban, 44 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,927 our young century's greatest vocalist. 45 00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,096 Oh! Another Grobanite. 46 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,852 Excuse me. But I think her painting is very imaginative. 47 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,313 I suppose you'd like to teach this class! 48 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,481 Yes, I would. 49 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:13,109 Class, everyone, please stop and admire Juliet's painting. 50 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,947 I do not need this! My family owns a gas station! 51 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:22,035 If you two thoughtful and creative girls don't like the way I teach, 52 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,788 there's a world of fun, outside. 53 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,707 See you! 54 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,125 (LISA AND JULIET GIGGLING) 55 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,253 What are you staring at? Everyone paint me twenty laps! 56 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,130 (STUDENTS GRUMBLING) 57 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,300 Come on, fatty! Keep up! 58 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,181 So how come I've never seen you around 59 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,975 the Janet L. Munoz Robbins Rec Center before? 60 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,771 My father just took a position at Springfield University. 61 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:51,398 Are your parents academics? 62 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,526 (GIGGLES NERVOUSLY) Kinda. Let's do some Groban. 63 00:03:56,194 --> 00:04:00,824 (SINGING) Everybody wants Everybody wants 64 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:04,494 To be understood To be understood 65 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:11,167 Well, I can hear you Well, I can hear you 66 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:17,215 Everybody wants Everybody wants 67 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:20,176 To be loved To be loved 68 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:25,807 Don't give up Don't give up 69 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:33,148 Because you are loved Because you are loved 70 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,567 (DOG HOWLING) 71 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,943 I need some candy for a first play date, 72 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,778 but I don't want to come on too strong. 73 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:39,821 M&M'S? 74 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,448 Well, if I pick plain, she'll think I'm cheap. 75 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,616 But if I pick peanuts, she may have an allergy. 76 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,951 You just killed her, Bart! 77 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,161 How about Charleston Chew? 78 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,872 What is this? Brooklyn in the fifties? Don't just say stuff. 79 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,124 You ask for my help then you don't want it. 80 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,835 Excuse me. But why not consider an Almond Joy. 81 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,713 It looks like you only brought something for yourself. 82 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,466 But then you just happen to have two pieces! 83 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,801 Finally a real suggestion! 84 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:04,304 If she doesn't like coconut, you're screwed! 85 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,055 Mmm. 86 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,477 Oh. 87 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,981 (GIRLS CHATTERING) 88 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:16,691 Hi, Juliet. 89 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,067 So what do you want to do? 90 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,321 I don't know. It's been so long since I've had a play date. 91 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,907 Not that I couldn't get one if I wanted. 92 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,327 My parents bought me a membership card to the Folk Art Museum. 93 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,245 Does it get you into special exhibits? 94 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,330 On Wednesdays. 95 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,081 (GASPS) That's today! 96 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,083 (WIPE OUT PLAYING) 97 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,835 Folk art 98 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:04,614 So Lisa asked if her new friend could stay for dinner. 99 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:07,951 She's finally doing something the book said she would. 100 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,161 Won't last. 101 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,288 (LISA AND JULIET LAUGHING) 102 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,085 Hey, Mom. Can Juliet sleep over? 103 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,712 Are your parents okay with that? They never met us. 104 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,172 We could be murderers. 105 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,800 Could've been, if we hadn't had kids. 106 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,971 Juliet's father is the world's foremost John Grisham scholar. 107 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,099 He found several undiscovered plot twists in The Client, 108 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,560 and he proved that the real villain in A Time to Kill 109 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,228 is the legal system itself. 110 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,855 Told you, Marge. Told you! 111 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,191 (BOTH SNICKERING) 112 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,403 Now we need a name for our imaginary kingdom... 113 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,154 I mean, queendom. 114 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,658 How about Equalia? 115 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,118 Equaha. 116 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:54,706 Where everyone is equal but we're in charge. 117 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,083 I mean, somebody has to be, right? 118 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,502 Okay, you two. Lights out. 119 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,132 Lisa, do you want to be best friends? 120 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,759 Gosh, this is all happening so fast. 121 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,094 I don't know what to say. 122 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,596 Say yes. Say yes. 123 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:10,847 I'd love to! 124 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,640 (MARGE WHOOPING) 125 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,351 Good night, Lisa. 126 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,521 I have a best friend. 127 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,856 (LISA GASPS) 128 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,107 You heard me say that, didn't you? 129 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,150 I did. 130 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,068 We're still cool though, right? We are. 131 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,362 My best friend is so cool. 132 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,702 Mom, I'm meeting Juliet after school! 133 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:33,828 Great! 134 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,747 Here are a few best friend tips. 135 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,749 Compliment her hair and shoes. 136 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,710 If her dog bites you, don't make a big deal out of it, and... 137 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,921 Friendship is like marriage. The key is listening. 138 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:47,425 Also, if her dog bites you, don't make a big deal out of it. 139 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,760 I just said that! 140 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:52,347 Okay, honey. If it's that important to you, you said it. 141 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,431 (GROANS IN FRUSTRATION) 142 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,684 We're at the end of chapter four. But we need a grabber, 143 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:59,187 a whammy, a snapperoo, some eye mustard! 144 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,564 I got it! How about this? 145 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,901 What if Queen Helvetica found a rare two-horned unicorn? 146 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,694 A twonicorn! 147 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,446 Oh! I love your accent. 148 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,156 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) "Twonicorn." 149 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,742 You are definitely doing the book on tape. 150 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,082 And Queens Valedictoria and Helvetica 151 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:23,336 hid their beloved twonicorn from the hungry ogre, Homeroni. 152 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,254 (BOTH LAUGHING) 153 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,800 Girls are so lame. 154 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,094 Isn't that right, headless Darth Vader? 155 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,012 What's that? You miss your girlfriend, 156 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,973 armless Malibu Stacy wrapped in hockey tape? 157 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,558 (KISSING) 158 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:44,524 Now, remember. Juliet's family is very classy. 159 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,401 So be on your best behavior. 160 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,569 Use as many big words as possible. 161 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,697 I call "computer." Bart, you can have "doorbell." 162 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,781 (EXCLAIMS) 163 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,287 Nice doorbell. Is it computerized? 164 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,665 Hey, that was... Homer! 165 00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,583 Well, we... I... 166 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,168 You come up with an excuse! 167 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,253 (BART EXCLAIMS IN PAIN) 168 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,589 Homer, isn't it wonderful that my Juliet and your Lisa 169 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,216 have become such fast friends? 170 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,593 (LAUGHING) If you say so, m'lord. 171 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,720 Dinner's ready. 172 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,179 If you'll show me to your bathroom, 173 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,390 I'd like to pretend to wash my hands. 174 00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:20,435 New friendship, so full of promise. 175 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:24,313 Much like a young Mitch McDeere in John Grisham's The Firm. 176 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,399 (MUFFLED) When they make a movie from his books, 177 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,818 does he get one or two free tickets? 178 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,571 It depends on the production company. 179 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,073 "He had much to be happy about. 180 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,744 "A brilliant mind and a solid body that did not gain weight 181 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,412 "and needed little sleep." 182 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:42,582 Attention, everyone. Lisa and I would like to perform 183 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:46,335 a medley of Josh Groban's 12 most popular downloads. 184 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,755 Juliet, I'm worried this Josh Groban 185 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,757 is becoming a bit of an obsession for you. 186 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,384 Let's just listen to James Homer's soundtrack 187 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,803 to The Pelican Brief, shall we? 188 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,390 Track three, Researching the Brief. 189 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,768 (RESEARCHING THE BRIEF PLPOHNG) 190 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,940 I hate track three! I hate it! I hate it! 191 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,525 (JULIET CRYING) 192 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,529 I'll go get her. 193 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,618 Hey, could you take a look at a lump on my back? 194 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,787 I'm not that kind of doctor. 195 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,623 I get it. Here's 10 bucks. 196 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,209 Mmm. 197 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:29,879 That's chewing gum. 198 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,380 What a racket. 199 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,550 Juliet, are you okay? 200 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,512 I am now. Don't you see them? 201 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,140 See who? 202 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,475 Our friends! 203 00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,102 The lords and ladies of Equalia! 204 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,688 Juliet, you're scaring me just a little... 205 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,412 Oh! 206 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,915 Co-Queens Helvetica and Valedictoria, 207 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,292 we're so glad you're finally here. 208 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:12,547 I'm a giraffopus. I'm uncomfortable in water and on land. 209 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,383 (FANFARE) 210 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,303 (GASPS) A twonicorn! 211 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,972 Toss me a treat! 212 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,391 (GULPS) 213 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,770 I didn't know I could do that. 214 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,690 And now hit "shuffle" on the royal MyPod. 215 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,236 (SO SHE DANCES PLAYING) 216 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:38,406 So she dances 217 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:44,704 In and out of the crowd like a glance 218 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:51,002 This romance is 219 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:58,009 From afar calling me silently 220 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:07,226 These be mini-pizzas made from dragon eggs, Your Majesties. 221 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,561 Mom, please don't do that. 222 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:11,022 Who is this mom of which you speak? 223 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,900 Mom, stop! This is our thing, not yours. 224 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,401 I'm just trying to... 225 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,944 It's better if you don't. 226 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,321 (MURMURS IN HURT) 227 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,617 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we need to talk about Lisa. 228 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:26,203 She's unfocused, scribbling nonsense, living in a world of her own. 229 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,496 (LAUGHING) 230 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,998 Well, that's Bart for you. 231 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,917 We're talking about Lisa, your daughter. 232 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,754 Seems like you and I are always talking about Bart, my son. 233 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:38,591 Lisa has been seeing an awful lot of her new friend. 234 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:41,510 Yes. The one I've seen on Lisa's Facebook page. 235 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,763 I search all the children's Facebook pages 236 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,514 for unflattering references to me. 237 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,768 By the way, I enjoyed the photos of your trip to Yosemite. 238 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,311 (LAUGHING) That. 239 00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:53,397 We were actually just going out for brunch and I got lost. 240 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:56,776 But don't worry, Officer. We'll definitely have a talk with the boy. 241 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,363 LISA: I can't see Juliet anymore? 242 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,698 I thought you wanted me to have a best friend! 243 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,285 There are limits to how much two people should be together! 244 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,121 Well, you can't keep Juliet and me apart! I'll... 245 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,207 I'll disobey! 246 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,084 I'm Bart Simpson's mother. 247 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,962 You think you've got any tricks I haven't seen? 248 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,930 (MARGE EXCLAIMS) 249 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,974 Bart Simpson, age three. 250 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,433 (LISA GRUNTS ANGRILY) 251 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,647 Bart Simpson, age ten. 252 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,149 (LAUGHING EVILLY) 253 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,275 (CRASHING) 254 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,320 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 255 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,655 (CHILDREN CHATTERING) 256 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,159 Juliet, what are you doing here? 257 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,829 I'm running away. And you're coming with me. 258 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,038 I'd love to! 259 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:54,000 But I'm supposed to attend the model UN this weekend. 260 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,668 I'm the delegate from Azerbaijan, 261 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,294 and I'm threatening a rice tariff. 262 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,423 Lisa, I know how important the model UN's work is. 263 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:04,427 But Equalia needs you. I need you. 264 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:09,098 Okay, best friend. 265 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:15,187 I remember when I was young and I ran off to a land of equality. 266 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,945 (MAN couemwe) 267 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,158 Name. Dr. William McDougal. 268 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:30,286 From now on, you're Groundskeeper Willie. Next. 269 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,722 This is where we'll live. 270 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,390 How did you find this place? 271 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,017 My family ate here last week. 272 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,393 It really went downhill fast. 273 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:58,647 But if you just believe, anyplace can be Equalia. 274 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,830 Oh, no. Clam-Elot's is closed. 275 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,248 (EXCLAIMS) I'm not surprised. 276 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,209 Their clam chowder smelled like soap. 277 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,335 Yeah. 278 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:24,757 I wonder if Lisa has threatened the model UN with her rice tariff yet? 279 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,260 I doubt it. Friday's usuallyjust committee assignments 280 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,012 and procedural rules. 281 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,430 (PHONE RINGING) 282 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:32,598 MARTIN ON PHONE: Mrs. Simpson! 283 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:35,101 Hiya, Martin. How's the model UN? 284 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,393 Total chaos! 285 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,355 We're two minutes away from a roll call vote on a non-binding 286 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,607 resolution and no Azerbaijan! 287 00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:43,818 (GASPS) 288 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,820 Are you saying Lisa's not there? 289 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:49,615 To the extent you can trust the word of a Belgian, yes! 290 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,743 Lisa ran away! And it's all my fault! 291 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:56,497 If I'd just let her continue her obsessive relationship 292 00:15:56,580 --> 00:16:00,501 with that troubled little girl, everything would've been fine. 293 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:03,129 If I know my sister, and unfortunately I do, 294 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,298 she probably ran off to some lame-o make-believe castle. 295 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,341 A castle? 296 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:08,926 (GASPS) I know where they are! 297 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,096 Wait! Hmm? 298 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,974 Is it someplace I'd have to put on a tie? No. 299 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,768 Is it a place I'd look overdressed if I did wear a tie? 300 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:18,936 You probably would. 301 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,063 What about a jacket and jeans with a nice t-shirt? 302 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,273 Just go)! 303 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,357 (HOMER EXCLAIMS) 304 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,701 You know what I think killed this place? 305 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,537 No one wanted to drive to the middle of the forest for clams. 306 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,289 (CAR APPROACHING) 307 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,042 Let's go get my little girl. 308 00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,922 (GASPS) My family's here! 309 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:49,008 MARGE: Hmm? 310 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,801 She's not here? 311 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:54,805 KEARNEY: Hmm? 312 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:55,890 (BOTH GASP) 313 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,683 Girls in our hideout? 314 00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:01,478 Now they'll tell people where we go to stash our stolen peaches! 315 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,606 And to wait out our bad haircuts. 316 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,608 We'd better tie them up. 317 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,362 This place is where we came after my bar mitzvah. 318 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,281 You said you weren't having one. 319 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,908 Uh... It was just family. 320 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,540 All these pictures of seafood are making me hungry. 321 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,084 We'll get some cream for the peaches while you guard the prisoners. 322 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,462 Don't screw it up, butt brain! 323 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:29,548 At least my dad didn't smoke after his stroke. 324 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:30,758 (DOOR CLOSING) 325 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,093 Juliet, I'm scared. 326 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,721 Shut your eyes and you'll be in Equalia. 327 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,848 Equalia is not real! 328 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,226 Maybe not. But it's better than this. 329 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,645 (SIGHS) 330 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:47,024 So the armies of the gnomes and the elves faced off 331 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:50,402 on either side of the hollow, broad axes poised. 332 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,738 With a fearsome cry, they raced towards 333 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,408 the center of the battlefield, banners aflutter in the breeze! 334 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,661 What comes next? 335 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,374 A battle to determine the fate of Equalia. 336 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,792 But you wouldn't be interested. 337 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,543 I have a wide variety of interests. 338 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,629 Is there them dragon things? 339 00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,547 Isn't that a little clichéd? 340 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,885 Yes! I mean, yes, there are dragons, everywhere! 341 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:18,847 Green ones, Chinese ones, chubby bald ones. 342 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,433 I like those ones! Tell me about those! 343 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:25,646 "And so the queens..." 344 00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:27,106 And the Me Dragon. 345 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:31,110 "...danced the minuet of equality on a gossamer dewdrop." 346 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,403 Aw. 347 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,406 (EXCLAIMS) 348 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,573 What's going on here? 349 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,117 What's this? 350 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,120 An ambitious first novel by the two brightest young writers 351 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,289 this side of the Iowa Writers' Workshop. 352 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,541 I bet it'll burn up good. 353 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,088 (DOLPH AND JIMBO LAUGHING) 354 00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,303 Put the book down! 355 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,930 Why should we, butt brain? 356 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,558 For Equalia! 357 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:03,767 (IN HER EYES PLAYING) 358 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:07,146 I am not a hero 359 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:11,483 I am not an angel 360 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,821 I am just a man 361 00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:18,949 Man who's trying to love her 362 00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,117 (DOLPH AND JIMBO GRUNTING) 363 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,910 Well, it looks like we're safe. 364 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,162 Looks like. 365 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:26,832 Juliet, I don't want to go to Equalia anymore. 366 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,042 What do you mean? 367 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,628 It's a special place. But I need to live in the real world. 368 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,255 The real world? 369 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:37,676 The real world is for people who can't imagine anything better. 370 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,261 Goodbye, Lisa. 371 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,348 Goodbye, Juliet. 372 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,601 (SING-SONG) Cuckoo. 373 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:51,440 "We have received your manuscript, The Chronicles of Equalia. " 374 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,650 Sounds promising so far! 375 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:57,946 "Unfortunately, it is not what we're looking for at this time. 376 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,615 "Thank you for thinking of us." 377 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,201 (LAUGHING MEANLY) Rejected! 378 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:05,871 You got a letter all the way from New York City, 379 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,706 and that's something. 380 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,500 And you know what else, sweetie? 381 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,919 You and your friend, Princess Nut Job, 382 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:14,546 inspired me to write my own fantasy novel 383 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,965 based on my experiences as a dad. 384 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,597 Okay, "Chapter One..." 385 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,433 Uh... Uh... 386 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:28,852 Oh! 387 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,813 Writing is hard! 388 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,151 BART: Ladies and gentlemen, Fall Out Boy! 389 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:40,406 (FALL OUT BOY PLAYING THE SIMPSONS THEME SONG) 390 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,534 English - US - PSDH