1
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,923
<i>(SINGING) The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,510
D'oh!

3
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:11,720
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

4
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,096
(SCREAMS)

5
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,189
(DISGUSTEDLY) Hmm.

6
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,441
(CONTENTEDLY) Mmm.

7
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,204
<i>(CROWD CHEERING)</i>

8
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,583
<i>ANNOUNCER 1: Oh!
You hate to see this.</i>

9
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,043
I love to see this!

10
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,045
<i>Now the other players
are joining in.</i>

11
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,214
<i>ANNOUNCER 2: Uh-oh!
Someone could lose a tooth!</i>

12
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,381
(GURGLING)

13
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,717
This is no time to pat
the bunny, Maggie.

14
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,344
Daddy's watching
a very important

15
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:56,056
Mid-Atlantic Hockey League
Conference semi-final do-over game.

16
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,642
<i>ANNOUNCER 1: As we enter the
seventh amazing overtime,</i>

17
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,810
<i>the members of
Sesame Street on Ice</i>

18
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,522
<i>wait impatiently to begin
their matinee performance.</i>

19
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,191
<i>Hold the Black Label,
Mabel!</i>

20
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:09,945
<i>The Utica Mohawks' Pete Mavroudis has
broken through the 'Topes defense!</i>

21
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,238
Stop them, Babando!

22
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,282
<i>He winds up for the shot and
Delacroix slides in front!</i>

23
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,826
You're supposed to be spending
time with your daughter!

24
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:21,456
I will when it's not sports season! I
just want to know how the game ends!

25
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:27,128
<i>And this game is over! Unbelievable!
You'll never see anything like that again!</i>

26
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,338
<i>So that will do it,</i>

27
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:32,175
<i>from Wayne Buckhorn, Jean-Pierre
Petomane, and me, Don Jacque LaLonde,</i>

28
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,470
<i>here at Utica's Kill-Kwik
Rat Poison Arena!</i>

29
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:36,930
What's the score?

30
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,182
<i>Now stay tuned for
Picking the Perfect Apple.</i>

31
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,934
<i>It's already
in progress.</i>

32
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,978
D'oh! The score,
damn you!

33
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,854
<i>Once again,
today's final score...</i>

34
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,606
<i>Yeah'?
...is already in the books.</i>

35
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,691
<i>Good night!</i>

36
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,902
Oh! I will never
know the score!

37
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,153
(sesame)

38
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,073
You want to know the score?
I'll tell you the score!

39
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:58,159
Marge. This is a definite
high point for our marriage.

40
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,661
Here's the score,
mister.

41
00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:03,039
Yes? Your daughter
barely knows who you are!

42
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,541
That's ridiculous.

43
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,836
Who's your daddy, Maggie?
Who's your daddy?

44
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,136
He is pretty good with her. Oh!

45
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,395
(GRUNTING) Hmm.

46
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,896
(HUMMING)

47
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:31,276
Look, Marge! It's just what you
want, me spending the day with Mugsy.

48
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,360
Maggie!

49
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:36,781
Marge, you're not naggy. You
just set the bar impossibly high.

50
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,742
Can you at least bring
a sweater for Maggie?

51
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,493
Impossibly high.

52
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:44,289
Now, let's get started on the
greatest daddy/daughter day ever!

53
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:45,999
(HUMMING HAPPILY)

54
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,752
Hmm?

55
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,088
Hmm.

56
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,133
(SCOFFS) Not even heated up.
Typical dog.

57
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,558
This is it, Maggie.

58
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,103
The place where Daddy goes
every morning.

59
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,150
Now, you learn your numbers
from these billiard balls

60
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:16,613
while Daddy gets happier and
happier and then sadder and sadder.

61
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,494
Moe, what are you doing?
I'm spiffing up the place.

62
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,205
Jeez. Can't a guy clean his
bar for the first time ever

63
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,624
without people making
polite inquiries?

64
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,129
Huh. I got
a window here.

65
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,298
Ooh!

66
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:41,554
Hey, Maggie could play out there
while I watch her from in here.

67
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,598
What do you say, Maggie?

68
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,143
Ah! Her first enabling.

69
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,854
HOMER: Hi, Maggie!
CARL: Up here, beautiful!

70
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,690
LENNY: Yo, Mag!
It's me, Uncle Barney!

71
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,276
Remember? ltaughtyou your ABCs.

72
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,905
<i>(SINGING) A, B, P, K...</i>

73
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,323
<i>R...</i>

74
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,744
So, I suppose you guys are still
wondering why I'm cleaning the bar?

75
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:05,829
(EXCLAIMS)

76
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,247
Hey, Maggie! Maggie,
Maggie, Maggie!

77
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,790
Hello, Maggie!
Hello, Maggie!

78
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:12,001
Hey, Maggie!
Maggie, look at my face.

79
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,586
(CLEARING THROAT)

80
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,588
It all began about
a month ago.

81
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,549
<i>It was a typical
Friday night.</i>

82
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:22,554
<i>Me surfing the net at the public library
with occasional drinking fountain breaks.</i>

83
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,932
Ah! Just how I like it,
warm and rusty.

84
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,227
(LAUGHING)

85
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,312
Ooh!

86
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,605
<i>I couldn't believe it.</i>

87
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,775
<i>I finally found an intelligent,
sophisticated woman</i>

88
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,069
<i>who hadn't heard any
of my knock-knock jokes.</i>

89
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,948
"Orange who?"

90
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:45,326
All right, Moe. Give it a
punch line, nice and easy.

91
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,413
Orange you glad
I didn't say banana?

92
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,626
The gargoyle
haslanded!

93
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,336
"You're funny."

94
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,631
Very nice. Now
how can I put this?

95
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:04,262
"Are you sure you're not actually
some creepy guy in a public library?"

96
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,348
"No. How about you?"

97
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,933
<i>(CLEARS THROAT)</i>

98
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:13,146
"Actually, there is a much
creepier guy right next to me."

99
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,814
You know I'm a woman!

100
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:18,902
We used to own a cat together!
She had babies! Here's yours!

101
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:19,819
(SHOUTING)

102
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,322
<i>MOE: I would do anything
to chat with Maya,</i>

103
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,782
<i>short of actually
purchasing a computer.</i>

104
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,745
<i>We decided to take the next
big step, exchanging photos.</i>

105
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:32,916
Okay, this is it. I finally
get to see what she looks like.

106
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,418
Darest I click
on this jpeg?

107
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,337
No! I daresen't!

108
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,423
Yes, I darest!

109
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,762
So, what did
she look like?

110
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,639
ALL: Whoa!

111
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,349
Yeah, she
was a knockout.

112
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:53,811
Which meant I was screwed because now
I had to send her a picture of me.

113
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:59,275
All right, before I send this,
I'd better un-beady the eyes,

114
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:03,363
de-Neanderthal the brow,
smooth out my hate lines,

115
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:08,493
lighten up the ear hair, switch my
lips, then black tie the whole deal.

116
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:12,789
I can't build a relationship
on a lie. The lies come later.

117
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:23,424
She thinks I'm cute! O frajulous day!
Callooh! Callay!

118
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,509
(LAUGHING)

119
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,304
So, that's why I'm cleaning
things and flushing things,

120
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,515
and making this
place look respectable.

121
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,599
(SNORING)

122
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:35,019
She's coming to
meet me here, tonight.

123
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,396
(RINGING)

124
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,065
Moe's rat-free tavern.

125
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,900
Heya, Marge. Yeah,
yeah, Homer's here.

126
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,736
You want Homer? I'm sorry,
I thought you meant Himmler.

127
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:44,904
Heinrich Himmler.

128
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,031
You know, the guy who
invented the Heimlich manure.

129
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,408
<i>Those are two
different people!</i>

130
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,410
Well, they're both here. And
neither one is your husband.

131
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,745
This press conference
is over.

132
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,593
Oh, Maggie made
some new friends.

133
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:10,221
Aw... Burrowing your
head into your daddy.

134
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:13,141
A sign that my baby
is happy and confident.

135
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,731
(HUMMING)

136
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:35,371
Ah! Yeah! Okay, she said
she'd be here at exactly 8:00.

137
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,082
You calling
my girl a liar?

138
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,959
(CAR SCREECHING TO A STOP)

139
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,044
(DOOR OPENING)

140
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,463
Okay.

141
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,052
I've been stood up.

142
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,429
Moe, I'm down here.

143
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:55,808
Oh! You're a little person. I'm...
No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

144
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,728
What's the correct term?
Little person.

145
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,564
(CHUCKLING) Look at
me being polite!

146
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,192
So, aren't you
gonna invite me in?

147
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:07,820
Of course. I just have to...
I have to tidy up the place.

148
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,405
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Just one sec.

149
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,202
Oh!

150
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,287
Yeah, that's better.

151
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:23,503
So, Maya, have you always been this size?
Or is this like a Benjamin Button deal?

152
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,754
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

153
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:29,509
No. I mean, it's just your picture
made you look more life-sized.

154
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,302
That was taken
at LegoLand.

155
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,805
I was afraid you'd be
disappointed in the real me.

156
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,139
What?
Are you kidding me?

157
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,892
You're the best thing to come
into this bar since cable TV.

158
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,268
And unlike cable TV,

159
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,730
I ain't stealing you from the Chinese
restaurant across the street there.

160
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:46,442
I see you watch
ESPN2! I know!

161
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,986
Yeah, that's great
there, Ling Chow.

162
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:52,198
So, you still want to go out?
That's why I'm here.

163
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,534
Great. Let me get a car seat.
Car seat?

164
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,828
Yeah. I took out the
passenger seat to save gas.

165
00:08:56,911 --> 00:09:00,164
But I'm gonna use it now
because we're gonna do the town!

166
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,712
So, instead of getting
a new bar sign,

167
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,840
I saved 300 bucks by
changing my name to Moe.

168
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,718
Moe! You eat alone
again tonight, huh?

169
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,429
Table for one,
facing the wall!

170
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:18,307
Whoa, whoa. Not so fast, garlic press.
I'm here with my date.

171
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,853
(GASPS) She's beautiful.
But so far away.

172
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,355
(KISSING SOUNDS)

173
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:29,193
Mmm. You're a good kisser.

174
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:33,489
Yeah. I practice by siphoning
gas out of other people's tanks.

175
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:37,452
But I never tasted super premium
that was half as good as you.

176
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,911
Oh, Moe.

177
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,913
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

178
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,207
(LAUGHS)

179
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,127
(HUMMING HAPPILY)

180
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,755
How'd your
date go, Moe?

181
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:53,259
Incredible. I've never felt like this
before. It's like my heart wants to do her.

182
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:54,635
ALL: Aw...

183
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,095
So, when are we
gonna meet her?

184
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,556
I can't wait until
you guys get to...

185
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,560
<i>(LAUGHING)</i>

186
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,353
<i>(CAR HORNS BLARING)</i>

187
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,397
<i>Yep. That's
what we'd do.</i>

188
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,608
Let me ask you
guys something.

189
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:13,112
How would you treat a person who's
generally dynamite but in some way

190
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,781
a little different?

191
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,449
You mean like how
we treat Homer?

192
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,409
Because he can't
remember limericks?

193
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,494
I can, too.

194
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:24,540
There once was this guy from an island
off the coast of Massachusetts...

195
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,459
Nantucket, I think it was.

196
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,921
Anyway, he had the most unusual
personal characteristic,

197
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,423
which was...
Uh... Um...

198
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,550
(ALL LAUGHING)

199
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,469
He can't win.

200
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,764
Look at him struggling
with the simplest rhyme.

201
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,350
It's A-A-B-B-A,
dumb ass.

202
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,851
(sesame)

203
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:01,994
(NECK CRACKING)

204
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,710
HOMER: There you are.

205
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,170
(BABIES WHISTLING)

206
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:15,800
Aw... Innocent babies whistling
nonchalantly. How sweet.

207
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,928
Maggie will be back to
play with you tomorrow.

208
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,974
Come on, Maggie.
Have some grapefruit.

209
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,225
She seems upset.

210
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:28,104
Maybe if I lay down a beat on
my bongos, that'll soothe her.

211
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:36,320
Dad, do you have any idea
what's gotten into Maggie?

212
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,363
How would I know?

213
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,574
You've been spending
so much time with her.

214
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,827
I have not. Oh, right.
You think I do.

215
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,120
Hmm.

216
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,207
<i>ANNOUNCER: When you
leave your children,</i>

217
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,877
<i>do you really know whom
you're leaving them with?</i>

218
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,840
<i>Your little angels are safe with me.
Enjoy your second honeymoon.</i>

219
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,262
<i>You wash me
unmentionables!</i>

220
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:05,641
<i>And you, preheat the oven
for two children at 450!</i>

221
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,143
<i>(LAUGHING EVILLY)</i>

222
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:11,522
<i>ANNOUNCER: When you can't be
there, Prying-Eye Surveillance can!</i>

223
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,442
<i>We take images
from your camera,</i>

224
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,527
<i>scramble them, beam them
to our orbiting satellite,</i>

225
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,571
<i>unscramble them, then
scramble them again,</i>

226
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:21,324
<i>then unscramble them that
all-important final time.</i>

227
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,285
<i>Our competitors claim we
scramble our images too much.</i>

228
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,830
<i>We say, can you love
your children too much?</i>

229
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,045
<i>The only thing better than
Prying-Eye watching your children</i>

230
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,005
<i>is you watching your children.</i>

231
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,716
<i>And we know that's
not gonna happen.</i>

232
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:40,509
Hmm...

233
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:45,598
Wait a second, Marge.

234
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:49,810
Do you really want to use your baby
as a tool to spy on your husband?

235
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,104
Yes, you do.
I wasn't talking to you.

236
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,023
When you say it, it's
not just in your head.

237
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:59,153
This is where I live.

238
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,450
So is there a knob, or an "open
sesame" type deal or what?

239
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,410
My house is over there.

240
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:10,289
You didn't actually think
I lived in a tree, did you?

241
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,960
No. Hey, no... Hey, a lot
of people live in trees.

242
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,254
Tarzan, the Berenstain
Bears, flood victims.

243
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,339
(SIGHING)

244
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:29,976
<i>(SINGING) Umpa-Iumpa,
we are so small</i>

245
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,143
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

246
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,645
Why should I be
watching anything

247
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,064
when I could look at the most
beautiful thing in the world?

248
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,274
Meé?
Youée.

249
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:40,486
That's right. Kiss the
troll and win a prize.

250
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,862
(LAUGHING)

251
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:42,947
Yeah.

252
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,868
Listen, there is one thing
that keeps bothering me.

253
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:48,953
Is it my religion?

254
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,831
Because I am a snake handler,
but not an observant one.

255
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:56,043
If we have kids, they just have to have
a ceremony with a cobra by age three

256
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,878
so their grandfather
will be happy.

257
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,171
No, that's fine.

258
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,090
It's just that I can't
help wondering

259
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,718
why you've never introduced
me to anyone you know.

260
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:07,138
When your mailman waved to us, you
made me hide under that traffic cone.

261
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,473
Well, I do know
this one couple,

262
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:14,520
the Simpsons, I believe their name
is, that ain't too judgmental.

263
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:17,064
She's a stand-up dame
and he's a fall-down drunk.

264
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:20,860
And, well, we'll make a double date of it.
Now let's get back to what we were...

265
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,863
Hey, what's going on? Whoa!
You turned into a doll!

266
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,865
I just do that to
freak people out.

267
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,158
(GIGGLING)

268
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,784
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) Oh!

269
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,788
(DOORBELL RINGING)

270
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,709
Here she is, Homer,

271
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,420
the wonderful girl I've
been telling you about.

272
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:40,963
Pleased to meet you.

273
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:46,385
Perhaps this is inappropriate,
but I have a mechanical question,

274
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:49,972
while the kids are out of the room,
that I can't help wondering about.

275
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,432
(MURMURS WORRIEDLY)

276
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,559
In a nuclear power plant,

277
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:57,772
just how is nuclear energy
turned into electricity?

278
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,024
Well, if I remember
my high school physics,

279
00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:04,361
the controlled nuclear reaction
creates steam, which powers a turbine.

280
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,114
Man, oh, man,
slap a ring on that.

281
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,199
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

282
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,751
All right, Homer. Let's see
what my baby's been up to.

283
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:23,422
<i>Here we are, Maggie,
that park you love.</i>

284
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,548
Mmm.

285
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,842
Marge, Moe and Maya
are here for our double date.

286
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,719
Oh. Okay.
I'm coming.

287
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,432
<i>See you when the
moon comes out.</i>

288
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,279
That made me thirsty.

289
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:49,990
For you.

290
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:55,538
She's beautiful, Moe.
Yeah, she sure is.

291
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,541
Hmm.

292
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,880
Here comes
ours, honey.

293
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,887
Would you look at me? I'm the
happiest bartender in the world.

294
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,640
Sorry, fellas!

295
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,687
Maya, there's something
I want to ask you.

296
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,771
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

297
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,314
I don't know why
I'm so nervous.

298
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,984
This makes more sense than
anything I've ever done.

299
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,902
Well, other than keeping
all my Netflix movies

300
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,863
and saying the post
office lost them.

301
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,322
Anyway...

302
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:31,991
Will you marry me?

303
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,075
(GASPS)

304
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,620
Are you asking me to
be your little woman?

305
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:40,082
(LAUGHS) Well, as long as you
don't mind having a small wedding.

306
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,417
(BOTH LAUGHING)

307
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:44,378
We can drink champagne
out of an acorn top!

308
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:45,754
(LAUGHING)

309
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,674
Our first dance will be on
the head of a pin, there.

310
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:49,925
(LAUGHING)

311
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,969
I've been hogging
all the good ones.

312
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:55,097
All right, now you go.
But, hey, keep it short.

313
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:56,473
(CHUCKLES)

314
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,561
What's the matter, doll?
We were just having fun.

315
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:04,231
I stopped having fun about 10
jokes ago and you just kept going.

316
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:06,734
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Forgive me, kitten...

317
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:10,362
I mean, cat... I mean, tiger...
I mean, saber-toothed tiger. I mean...

318
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:14,825
I think you should go now. Okay.
I screwed this up pretty bad.

319
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:18,537
And I'm sorry. How long do
you people remember things?

320
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:19,747
Get out.

321
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,208
(MOE SOBBING)

322
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:27,254
Guys, after all the years
I've given you advice,

323
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:29,048
now I need a little
advice from you.

324
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,716
We never follow
your advice.

325
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,219
The one time I did, I went
to jail for three years.

326
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,887
You made some good
friends, didn't you?

327
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,431
Just because you're chained to a
guy don't make him your friend.

328
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,017
To-may-to, to-mah-to. Now,
how am I gonna win Maya back?

329
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,436
Well, if I've learned anything
from romantic comedies,

330
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,397
is that you gotta make
a grand reckless gesture.

331
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,900
The kind that looks like
it might blow up in your face.

332
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,027
But what if it blows up
in my face?

333
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,904
With your face,
who cares?

334
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,906
You gotta make
me shorter, Doc.

335
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:55,324
(LAUGHING)

336
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:56,825
What do you mean?

337
00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:01,622
I mean, take out bones, guts, whatever
you gotta do to make me a micro-Moe.

338
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,083
What you're asking
is completely unethical.

339
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:07,378
No licensed physician
would perform that operation.

340
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,463
Now close your eyes.

341
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:12,591
And when you wake up,
you will be a woman.

342
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:15,844
No,no,no,no,no! I want to
be shorter for a woman.

343
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:16,929
Uh-oh!

344
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,056
I mixed you up
with the last guy.

345
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,099
(SCREAMS)

346
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,726
I look nothing like
Julie Newmar!

347
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:26,772
Mmm. Mmm-hmm.

348
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:27,815
(EXCLAIMS)

349
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:32,820
Maya is gonna love the new me.
Moe, why did you do this?

350
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,447
Well, I ain't done nothing
yet, but I'm considering it.

351
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,158
Because I want to share
your world forever.

352
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:43,414
Moe, if you have to be like me to love
me, then you're not seeing the real me.

353
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,835
I see you, Maya. I see you
every time I look at the moon.

354
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,296
I see you in puddles
after it rains.

355
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:54,633
I see you in the glazed eye of
a barfly who's had one too many.

356
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:55,759
(SIGHS)

357
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,263
So cut me down
to size, Doc.

358
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,974
And could you wrap up the bones
so my dog can have fun with them?

359
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:05,144
But, Moe, I don't want
someone who sees me as short.

360
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,771
I want someone who just
sees me as beautiful.

361
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,065
Goodbye.

362
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,150
(MAYA SOBBING)

363
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,443
(SIGHING)

364
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:16,405
Okay, no more delays.
I've got to watch this.

365
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:22,911
(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

366
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,583
(GASPS)

367
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,044
<i>I'll save you, Maggie!</i>

368
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,921
<i>(GROANING)</i>

369
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,049
<i>I'm telling!</i>

370
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,259
<i>(GROANING)</i>

371
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,678
<i>Now what?</i>

372
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:40,763
<i>(EXCLAIMS)</i>

373
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,311
<i>Sweetie, you saved me.</i>

374
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,563
<i>Well, I promise that wherever
you go in this world,</i>

375
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,523
<i>I will always
be there for you.</i>

376
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,401
<i>Maggie, I love you
from the tip of your toes</i>

377
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:57,654
<i>to the bow on your hair
with the red blinking light.</i>

378
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,449
<i>God bless your mother
for making you with me.</i>

379
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,909
(SNIFFING)

380
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,204
What you
watching, honey?

381
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,749
Homer Simpson, you
are a strong finisher.

382
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:11,168
And I'm good
at beginnings.

383
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,547
(SIGHING)

384
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,299
(HUMMING HAPPILY)

385
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,845
What's the matter, Homer?
Not a thing in the world.

386
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,972
Yeah, lwish I
could say the same.

387
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,600
Moe, this is a
great thing for you.

388
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:29,603
You went from sitting on the
sidelines to getting in the game.

389
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:34,566
Sometime when you least expect it,
you realize that someone loved you.

390
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,027
And that means someone
can love you again.

391
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,113
That'll make you smile.

392
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,370
(SIGHING)

393
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,208
Hey, Homer was right.

394
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:56,630
Who'd have thought such a little
woman could make me feel so big?

395
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,108
English - US - PSDH