1
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,756
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
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It's dark.
3
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,686
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
4
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,273
(BURPS)
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(HORN BELLOWING)
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(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)
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(TIRES SCREECHING)
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D'oh!
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(BRAKES SCREECHING)
10
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(SHOT FIRES)
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00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,335
Hot dogs! Not so hot dogs!
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Cold and droopy!
13
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Fried dough! America's worst legal food!
Never leaves your body!
14
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Wow. The Truth in
Boardwalking Law
15
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has really clone
a number on this place.
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Shoot an oversized basketball
into an undersized hoop!
17
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It's impossible! The prizes
have been here for 50 years!
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HOMER: Ooh. Oh.
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(HOMER WHIMPERS)
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Maybe we should just check
out the street performers.
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(VIOLIN PLAYING)
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Big deal!
I could juggle six pins
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if they let me
use a unicycle.
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Well, if you think
it's too easy,
25
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,539
why don't you throw me
something else?
26
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Are you insane?
27
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:08,211
You can't throw a little
boy into my cascade.
28
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Stop tossing kids!
29
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(BART LAUGHING)
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(EXCLAIMS)
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(ALL LAUGHING)
32
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Oh, man. I love Saturdays.
33
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Man, I love Saturdays.
34
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Finally I can have fun with
something I bought for myself,
35
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a new water heater.
36
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(GRUNTING)
37
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,821
Almost there...
38
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Five more water heaters and
we get a free water heater.
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(HUMMING)
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Huh?
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A mysterious door?
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It's like a sauna in here.
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It is a sauna in here!
44
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,811
It must've been put in
by a previous owner.
45
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,105
This house is
full of surprises,
46
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but this is
the first good one.
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(SIGHS)
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I can't wait
to tell everyone.
49
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,366
This is great, honey.
50
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Thanks for
telling me about it.
51
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I hope you don't mind
I invited Lenny.
52
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,330
And I hope you don't mind
I invited Carl and Moe.
53
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,333
Yeah, you know, my invitation
didn't say nothing about no towels.
54
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So I guess we should all
just go Scandinavian, huh?
55
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,463
Huh?
56
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:38,551
Maybe I'll keep this
to myself for a while.
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00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,303
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
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Ooh! Lamb kebob!
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00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,558
Ooh!
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00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,768
Chicken kebob.
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00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:48,770
Ooh!
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00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:49,896
Fire kebob!
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00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,940
Dad,no!
Dad,yes!
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(SCREAMS)
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(PANTING) Water! Thank you!
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(CHUCKLES)
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Why you little...
68
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,996
Burn, Barty, burn!
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(HOMER SCREAMING)
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00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,253
(MOANING)
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00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,089
I'm afraid his tongue will be
in that cast for a few weeks.
72
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,633
It may put something of a
cramp in your lovemaking.
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00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,717
No, it won't.
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00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,595
If he wants me to do something,
he'll just write it down.
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(SLURRING) What does it say?
Is it complimentary?
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00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,522
Yeah, sure.
It's complimentary.
77
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It is? Hey, everybody!
Check out my compliment!
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00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,777
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
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00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,239
(WHIRRING)
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00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,076
Now, Homer, how would you
like me to remove it?
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00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,870
Yanky or peely?
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Got it.
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(SCREAMS IN PAIN)
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I held up two for peely!
85
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,420
I thought that was
a Y for yanky!
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00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:58,298
I'll make a note in your chart
that you aren't always clear.
87
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,675
Well, at least
I can eat again.
88
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:01,759
Cherry.
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00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:03,845
(SCREAMS)
90
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,722
Too much cherry!
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00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,932
Lemon!
That'll stop the cherry!
92
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,231
Doctor, why is this
happening to me?
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Well, I do have an idea.
94
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,069
But just to be sure, let's
run some expensive tests.
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00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,446
(LAUGHS)
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00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:27,660
The fire burned off your old
taste buds, exposing new ones.
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00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,122
(EXCLAIMING IN WONDER)
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00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,167
That'll be our
Christmas card this year.
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Homer, you've become
a supertaster.
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The mildest spices
will overwhelm your tongue.
101
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,383
Even a taco could
drive you insane.
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(LAUGHING)
103
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,595
I can't eat tacos?
104
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Oh, my God.
What day of mayo is it?
105
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Cinco.
106
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,975
(EXCLAIMS IN DISMAY)
107
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Try these beets.
I boiled all the red out.
108
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,564
(SCREAMS)
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I still taste
overtones of pink.
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Dad, I got the perfect thing.
111
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,906
Mmm. Hmm...
112
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:09,786
It feels like food, but it
has no flavor whatsoever.
113
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It's mac and cheese
from the school cafeteria,
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the blandest food
known to man.
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What else do they got?
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Tofu cubes, tidy joes,
chili con cottage cheese,
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pecan blandies, cream of
steam, you-guess-thems.
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Man, who comes up
with this stuff?
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Old comedy writers who now
have to work at our kitchen.
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The one rule we had
on Charles in Charge
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is, Charles must
always be in charge.
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Oh, yeah.
That makes sense to me.
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That's a great rule.
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Lunch card. Lunch card.
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Lunch card.
Don't have one.
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Dad, what are you doing here?
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Son, from now on, I'm eating all
my meals here at school with you!
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What? No!
129
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Come on. Relax.
I won't embarrass you.
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$3.85.
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Yeah.
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Can I work it off? Don't worry.
I won't embarrass you!
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I'll start you on Jell-O.
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(SINGING) I'm big and yellow
and I'm serving Jell-O
135
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If you're a fellow
and you want some Jell-O
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You better bellow
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Hey, big guy!
Give me some Jell-O
138
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No Jell-O for you, Bart.
It'll keep you up at night,
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like last week when you crawled
into bed with me and Mommy.
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(ALL LAUGHING)
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Sure is hot back here.
142
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And there we go.
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Don't worry.
I won't embarrass you.
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I used to date your daughter.
145
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Buddy, I'm here to eat, not
make interesting conversation.
146
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Dad, do you have to
hang out at my school?
147
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It's bad enough I have to
be here three days a week.
148
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Well! I know when
I'm not wanted!
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Am I wanted?
150
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,893
Hi. Homer Simpson. Mind if I
sit near your son? Mine sucks.
151
00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,938
Well, we certainly are proud of Noah.
He's a straight-A student.
152
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,317
Noah! State capitals,
alphabetical order, on my clap.
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00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:09,489
Albany, Annapolis, Atlanta,
Augusta, Austin, Baton Rouge,
154
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Bismarck, Boise, Boston,
Capital City, Carson City.
155
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,830
Wow. He's terrified of you.
156
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,541
That's why I'm here. To make
sure he gets good grades.
157
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:21,626
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
158
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:25,046
You come to school to
help him get good grades?
159
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:28,549
Isn't that why we pay public school
teachers those enormous salaries?
160
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,468
Well, call me over-involved,
161
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:33,846
but someday, your son will
be my son's chauffeur.
162
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:37,100
Well, I hope your son
enjoys being driven around
163
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,894
by the President
of the United States.
164
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:43,356
Really? Let's see what the future
president's doing right now.
165
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(SNORTING)
166
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,777
(LAUGHING)
167
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,114
(STUTTERING)
168
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,325
You don't see many
presidents doing that.
169
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,577
Maybe LBJ,
you know, at the end.
170
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,247
It's not your son's fault.
It's yours.
171
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,458
You have to hover over your kid's
shoulder to force him to succeed.
172
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,293
It's called
helicopter parenting.
173
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,003
I don't have to
helicopter Bart.
174
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,881
I've got a backup plan
called Lisa.
175
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:12,343
Oh, right. Your second grader.
Sure she's smart,
176
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,513
but how could she be successful
if she's not popular?
177
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:17,932
Do you mind if I join you?
178
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,892
Well, that depends.
What are you eating?
179
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,228
Baked potato,
side salad, and a...
180
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,689
Well, we're having
cold shoulder.
181
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(ALL LAUGHING)
182
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,736
Is this seat taken?
183
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,529
No. Go ahead. Take it.
184
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,197
Take it way over there.
185
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,741
(ALL LAUGHING)
186
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,163
Oh, my God.
187
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:44,167
My son's a loser
and my daughter's a loner.
188
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,585
Way t0 g0, Marge!
189
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,004
(HUMMING)
190
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:50,381
Marge, where have you been?
191
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,674
Well, I...
192
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,093
No time! I'll just
deduce where you were
193
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,220
from a list of
possibilities in my head.
194
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,767
That makes sense. Moving on.
195
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,810
If we don't get more
involved in their lives,
196
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,645
Bart and Lisa are
gonna be failures,
197
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,315
failures who work for Noah!
198
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,984
Noah. I like that name.
199
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,195
Noah.
200
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,947
New-ah. Noah.
201
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,074
Aren't you the one who
usually worries about stuff?
202
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,701
Am I'.>
203
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:23,831
If Marge doesn't worry about
the kids, then that leaves me!
204
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,583
Help me, mayonnaise!
205
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,343
(HUMMING)
206
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:39,222
Look at all these
helicopter parents.
207
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,849
I hope Bart's
doing okay on his own.
208
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,103
(VOCALIZING)
209
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,524
There's no future in that!
210
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:50,817
Don't forget, children.
211
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,444
Monday is the balsa wood
model building competition.
212
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,947
The American Balsa Council
will award this year's winner
213
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,659
a $1000 savings bond
for their college education.
214
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,121
$1000? That's what
my house is worth.
215
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,415
Bart Simpson,
what will you be making?
216
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,626
I don't know.
217
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:15,925
Time to take control of my son's life.
Let's see. What can he build?
218
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,595
Too obvious.
219
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,266
Gotta be something
from earth.
220
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,143
You're no help!
221
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,730
Perfect.
222
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,279
"The Washington Monument?"
223
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,323
Washington Monument.
224
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,158
I like Bart's idea.
225
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,451
You're not in this class.
226
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,203
Willie swept me in here.
227
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,288
My mistake.
228
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:52,545
I did it. I helped my son.
Helicopter Homer, away!
229
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,049
Black Hawk down!
Black Hawk down!
230
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,759
Lisa, I found this book
231
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,345
in the "What's wrong with my
daughter" section of the bookstore.
232
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,556
It tells you how
you can get popular.
233
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:06,684
Dad, if I join a clique, I'll
be the kind of person I hate.
234
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,145
Sweetie, our country
was founded by a clique,
235
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:12,565
the Continental Congress!
Dolphins swim in cliques.
236
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,275
Those are my two examples.
237
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,694
Well, they are good ones.
238
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,654
And to show you
how this book works,
239
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,115
I will demonstrate
on some rats.
240
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,744
(EXCLAIMS)
241
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:28,998
Let's try what chapter seven
calls "Unsults,"
242
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,709
insults disguised
as compliments.
243
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:33,336
Hey, Lenny.
244
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,422
It takes a lot of courage
to wear suspenders
245
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,424
when you're not
in the circus.
246
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,760
Well, that's very
nice of you... Hey!
247
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,720
Are you saying my clothes
are clown-like?
248
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,973
Oh, God. I feel so insecure.
Please be my friend.
249
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,768
See? It works. And unsults
are just the beginning.
250
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,562
There's also
"Envytations," "Hate hugs,"
251
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,773
"Spamming with
faint praise," and...
252
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,609
Hey, everyone,
wanna go get frozen yogurt?
253
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:57,860
I do...
Yeah!
254
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,948
I'm sorry, Moe. I didn't
mean "everyone" everyone.
255
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,616
Hope you don't mind?
256
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,076
No. That's all right.
257
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,953
(sesame)
258
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:14,877
If I didn't sell booze, they
probably wouldn't even come here!
259
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:21,217
And that, my dear girl, is
called the Toledo Take-back.
260
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,636
Dad, I don't want to
hurt people's feelings.
261
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:27,431
I see. Well, maybe you're
not ready for this book.
262
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,142
It is more of
a big girl thing.
263
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,269
I'm a big girl!
I'm a big girl!
264
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,397
(CHUCKLES)
265
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:39,318
One of you said something
bad about the other.
266
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,112
He did?
He did?
267
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,196
(CHUCKLES)
268
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,117
(HUMMING)
269
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,830
Son, you buy an awful lot of airplane
glue, but you never buy any models.
270
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,165
Oh, right. Models.
271
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,753
One Messerschmitt 262,
a '67 SS GTO,
272
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,423
an Alfred E. Neuman,
with interchangeable arms.
273
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,848
We'd like some
balsa wood, please.
274
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,225
Enough to build
a Washington Monument.
275
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,727
What scale are you using?
276
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,104
What cologne are you wearing?
None of your business!
277
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,689
Now we'd like our
Washington Monument
278
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:19,650
to be one-five hundredth
the size of the real one.
279
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,068
(LAUGHS)
280
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,863
Washington Monument?
Aren't you gonna even try?
281
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,698
What do you mean?
And who are you?
282
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,116
I'm your son's principal.
283
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:30,327
And the Washington Monument is the
most uninspired model choice there is.
284
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:33,289
It's like saying, "I don't care.
My kid's a loser."
285
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,999
But... You...
286
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,209
What's the hardest model
there is?
287
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,129
That would be,
Westminster Abbey.
288
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,841
Attention, parents, children
and childless weirdoes,
289
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:48,220
my son and I are going
to build Westminster Abbey!
290
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,014
(ALL GASPING)
You've gotta be crazy!
291
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,849
Prepare to be frustrated.
292
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,518
You won't get past
the north transept!
293
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,980
Hey, how hard can it be? All we
have to do is follow the directions.
294
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,648
(GRUNTS)
295
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,410
Marge, the boy and I will
be making Westminster Abbey.
296
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,081
Blabby's gonna
build an abbey. Groovy.
297
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,708
But first, as part of
Operation Popularity,
298
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,336
Lisa and I are hosting a
"Decorate Your Own Cell Phone"
299
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:21,420
party in the backyard.
300
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,505
(GASPS)
301
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,007
Britney and Caitlin are here!
Where's my spray-on tan?
302
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,428
(HOMER READING)
303
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,516
Why do I always
read the labels after?
304
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,437
Ladies, we've got it all.
Rhinestones, stickers, tassels,
305
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:42,274
everything to make those $100
phones look like $5 toys!
306
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,652
Lisa, this party is twisted!
307
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,778
You're fierce!
308
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:46,987
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
309
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,281
I've never been
called fierce before.
310
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,493
Strident. Hectoring
has been tossed around.
311
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,453
Let me take a picture
of you for my cell phone.
312
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,038
I'll put you on my desktop.
313
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,998
I'm gonna make you
my friend on Facebook.
314
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,792
Please confirm.
Confirmed!
315
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,876
(YELLS)
316
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,129
(ALL LAUGHING)
317
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:08,050
I am such a great parent
to both my kids.
318
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,095
Hello, little girl.
Who do you belong to?
319
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,725
Hey, boy.
Why don't I do that for you?
320
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,145
Isn't this supposed
to be my project?
321
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,605
All the other parents
are doing it for their kids.
322
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,483
Now stand back and
I'll take it from here.
323
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,153
A little further back.
324
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,029
Do you want me
to watch and learn?
325
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,698
No. That kind of
creeps me out.
326
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:37,580
Must finish Poets' Corner
or Bart will work for Noah
327
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,290
with his hot mom.
328
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,332
(SNORING)
329
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,794
(BELL TOLLING)
330
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:51,218
That's not Henry VII! That's Henry VI!
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
331
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:55,264
Homer, don't give up till
you finish my dear abbey!
332
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,017
Geoffrey Chaucer?
What are you doing here?
333
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,518
Well, I'm buried here,
334
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,688
and I want to tell you you're right
to do all Bart's work for him.
335
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,857
It's the best thing
for the boy.
336
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,650
That's terrible advice.
337
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,027
Anne of (Haves?
338
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,322
What you do for your son, he'll
never learn to do for himself.
339
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:14,658
And where is this
delightful boy?
340
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,868
Oscar Wilde?
341
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:19,038
Homer, there are only
two tragedies in life.
342
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:22,875
One is not getting what one wants,
and the other is getting it.
343
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501
But that makes no sense!
344
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:28,756
Experience is simply the
name we give to our mistakes.
345
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:29,882
Shut up!
346
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:34,345
These days, man knows the price of
everything and the value of nothing.
347
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,472
Whatever happened to "boo"?
348
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,351
(BELL TOLLING)
349
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,977
(MOANING)
350
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:54,406
Now we could smash the real Westminster
Abbey so it looks like this.
351
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:59,495
(GROANS) There are no
flights to London till 5:00.
352
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,414
Welcome to
Springfield Elementary's
353
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,334
Next Top Model
Building Contest.
354
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:08,462
Kenny, he said your show.
355
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,422
I watched it once!
356
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,008
Now, judges,
start your nodding.
357
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,220
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm.
358
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,930
Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
359
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,766
Flawless. Stunning.
Awe-inspiring.
360
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:21,850
Meticulous.
361
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,186
Mmm?
362
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,188
Hmm.
363
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,606
(WHIMPERS)
364
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,358
Skinner!
365
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:33,570
These models are clearly
the work of meddling parents.
366
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:36,323
The only entry that
repels my eye enough
367
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:39,493
to be constructed by
a student is this one.
368
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:43,455
Congratulations, son. At
least you followed the rules.
369
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,417
Yes! Yes!
In your face, losers!
370
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,794
This helicopter
is taking off!
371
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,170
(IMITATING HELICOPTER)
372
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,131
No! Stop the hovering!
373
00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,389
I didn't make this terrible model.
My dad did.
374
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,473
(ALL GASP)
375
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,976
Why can't you guys let us
do things for ourselves?
376
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:08,814
In the words of Oscar Wilde, "Experience is
simply the name we give to our mistakes."
377
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,149
I saw him, too, Dad.
378
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,402
I'm sorry.
I got carried away.
379
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:18,032
From now on, the only thing I'll ever
do for you is cosign if you want a gun.
380
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,117
Well, at least
I made Lisa popular.
381
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,327
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
382
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,829
"I H8 this"?
383
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,835
I'm sorry, Dad. These girls
are nice on the surface.
384
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:34,173
But it's hard work staying this shallow.
I hope you understand.
385
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,216
Yeah. It's clear to me now.
386
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,179
The best thing I can do as a
parent is simply check out.
387
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,930
No, there's
a middle ground.
388
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,392
Lisa, a light bulb
is either on or it's off.
389
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,269
Not if you use
a dimmer switch.
390
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,606
That's what the dimmer switch
companies want you to think.
391
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,277
What's wrong, Homie?
392
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,654
I tried to fix
the kids' lives.
393
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,282
But instead, I led them
to rich and rewarding
394
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,659
personal decisions
of their own.
395
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:09,166
Well, I know a place in this
house where you can really relax.
396
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,627
The mattress the dog
sleeps on in the cellar?
397
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,338
No. I gave that to
the homeless shelter.
398
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,632
That was stuffed with cash!
399
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,635
Well, I'll make you
forget all about it.
400
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:21,553
(BOTH SIGHING)
401
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,932
Feeling better, Super Dad?
402
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,266
Oh, yeah.
403
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:32,564
(BOTH MOANING)
404
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,775
(LAUGHING)
405
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,736
I feel like I've died
and gone to hell.
406
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,789
(SINGING) The Simpsons
407
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:51,834
(ALL VOCALIZING)
408
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,546
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