1
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,798
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:10,635
D'oh!
3
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:11,928
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
4
00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:14,431
(TRUMPET BLOWING)
5
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,808
(CROWD CHEERING)
6
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,651
(HUMMING)
7
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,988
Care to try our
new sciencewater?
8
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,824
MARGE: The label
is all in lower case.
9
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,912
It's like drinking
e.e. cummings.
10
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:40,290
And each of our flavors
is named after a real word!
11
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,875
Nourish.
Mmm.
12
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,585
Vitality.
Oh!
13
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,045
Ooh!
Purple.
14
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,796
Potato Lime.
Mmm.
15
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,632
Oh- I Love the .908-
16
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:49,966
New Car Smell.
17
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,804
Excuse me. I'm feeling
a little over-hydrated.
18
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,141
That's normal. It just means
your bladder's full of science.
19
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,561
Now if you'll excuse me, our
company just went bankrupt.
20
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,774
(GROANING)
21
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,320
(GASPS)
22
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:11,988
Gotta find
a place to tinkle!
23
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:13,990
Language!
24
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,704
Schools have bathrooms.
And I'm a woman,
25
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,499
so my going in unattended
won't cause a panic.
26
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,918
(MARGE HUMMING)
27
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,294
Hey, Mrs. Simpson.
28
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:27,587
Janey.
29
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,797
(SIGHS HAPPILY)
30
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:30,924
That's Bart's class.
31
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,550
(SNORING)
32
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,011
Lousy teachers.
33
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,638
(SNORING)
34
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,848
Lousy hangover.
35
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,518
This school has
really gone downhill.
36
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:47,065
That's an awfully
crowded classroom.
37
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,281
Three, two, one.
38
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,825
Okay, children, I've
just been granted tenure,
39
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,536
so I'm gonna sit back and
let Ralph teach for awhile.
40
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,416
(CLEARS THROAT)
41
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,252
Class, in what year
was one plus one?
42
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,922
The answer is
the Amazing Ralph!
43
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:16,261
The only person getting an
education here today was me,
44
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,887
in how bad it is!
45
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,140
Mrs. Simpson,
let me pour you a drink.
46
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:23,310
Scotch? Vodka? Gin?
I got everything you want.
47
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,895
I want my kids
in a decent school!
48
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,732
Hey, I want the "check engine"
light on my dashboard to shut off,
49
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,358
but that ain't gonna happen.
50
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,235
Aah!
51
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:36,489
And because of cutbacks, they
were combining math with P.E.
52
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,325
They were playing
dodgebook!
53
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:41,745
Look at this. Springfield
Elementary's rating is so low,
54
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,748
it's more than two standard
deviations below the norm!
55
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,042
I can't understand
that math reference
56
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,169
because I went to
Springfield Elementary!
57
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:53,381
My cousin goes to a much better school.
He lives in Waverly Hills.
58
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,842
Their school system's
the best!
59
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:59,179
Their auditorium and their
gym are two different rooms.
60
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,221
(ALL GASP)
61
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,349
We can't afford
to move to Waverly Hills.
62
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,476
Their house prices
have commas in them.
63
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,062
As it is, our lawn
is just green-painted cement.
64
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,482
(YELPS)
65
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,569
I just wish I could go to a school
like that even for one week.
66
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:18,365
'Tis better to have learned and lost
than never to have learned at all.
67
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,617
What if we got a
small apartment there?
68
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,035
We wouldn't have to
live in it,
69
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,704
but we would have
a Waverly Hills address.
70
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,331
Mom, that's brilliant!
71
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:29,376
We could go to a school where
special doesn't always mean bad
72
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,629
and where the teachers don't have
to moonlight as telemarketers.
73
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,965
As you know, the music of
Air Supply is timeless.
74
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,802
And now their 50 biggest hits
are on four CDs.
75
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,721
Wait, wait, wait. You're
putting us in a new school?
76
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,264
What about my friends?
77
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:47,727
Oh! Elementary school
friends, those are forever!
78
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:51,272
You're always gonna be
friends with Milhouse!
79
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:55,568
(SINGING) Stand by me
Oh, stand by me
80
00:03:55,652 --> 00:04:01,157
Oh, stand now, stand
by me, stand by me
81
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,078
I need to rent an apartment in
the worst part of Waverly Hills,
82
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,538
the crappier the better.
83
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,747
Ah, so cheap, eh?
84
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,458
Ahso sheepay to you.
85
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,256
I can't afford this place.
It's way too fancy.
86
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,008
Sometimes there's
not a train going by.
87
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:21,970
Four walls?
88
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:26,099
I was thinking more of
something in a two or three.
89
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,355
No windows, no parking
and a man died here.
90
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,275
Play it cool, Homer. Don't
let her know it's perfect.
91
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,860
Yeah...
92
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,072
Well, I'm looking at a lot
of murder sites right now.
93
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,240
Where's the bedroom?
94
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,867
Right here.
95
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,287
Tempting, tempting.
Where's the bathroom?
96
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,788
In the Ethiopian restaurant
97
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,498
at the end of the block.
I'll take it!
98
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,876
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
99
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,256
(SINGING) Waverly Hills
100
00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:01,050
That's where I want to be!
101
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,428
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme
102
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,972
Squatting
in Waverly Hills
103
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,266
Waverly Hills
104
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:11,394
Get education fraudulently
105
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,646
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme
106
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,399
Mooching off
Waverly Hills
107
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,071
Well, welcome to
Waverly Hills.
108
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,407
Your children can start
school immediately.
109
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,742
Thank you.
Now,
110
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:29,370
you'll be getting a random visit from
the inspector sometime this month.
111
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,455
The what?
112
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,664
It's just a formality
113
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,750
to make sure
you actually live here.
114
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:37,629
Some people use the address just so
their kids can go to our schools.
115
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,841
I can see them now with their bald
heads and their blue-haired wives!
116
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,551
How I despise them.
117
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,262
Yeah. Well, here's
our inspector now.
118
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,018
Call it, friendo.
119
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,104
Heads! I mean, tails!
I mean, on its side!
120
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,569
Well done. Now let me
validate your parking.
121
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,365
That's not enough.
122
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,659
Thank you.
Oh!
123
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,580
Goodnight, Marge.
124
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,627
It's so kind of you to live there so
our kids can go to a better school.
125
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,546
When do I get to
move back home?
126
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,297
You just have to
stay there
127
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:25,385
until that psychopathic school
inspector makes a surprise visit.
128
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,053
You can come home
when the heat's off.
129
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:30,557
The heat is off. The hissing
from the radiator is a snake.
130
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,641
(HISSING)
131
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:35,228
Please just stay there till
Bart graduates high school.
132
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,481
That's another
20 or 30 years!
133
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:43,903
(GROANS)
134
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,658
Where am I?
135
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,414
Wow! Your first day
at the new school.
136
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,833
Lisa, have fun.
Bart, don't.
137
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,670
(GASPS)
138
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:04,048
Look at this place. It's
everything I've ever dreamed of.
139
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,800
On campus stables!
140
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,223
Field trips to Europe!
141
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,562
Oh, my God. Look what they
serve in the cafeteria.
142
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,109
Welcome. I'm your new
principal, Dr. Bettelheim.
143
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,819
Ooh! A doctorate!
144
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,322
Wait! Don't matriculate
those students!
145
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,615
Principal Skinner?
146
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,825
We need Lisa Simpson at
Springfield Elementary.
147
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:34,996
She's our top student and she writes the
fun facts in the morning announcements.
148
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,623
Skinner!
149
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,207
Bettelheim.
150
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,961
Superintendent Chalmers! What
are you doing at another school?
151
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:46,466
Seymour, as superintendent, I
supervise every school in the district.
152
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,094
So, you're overseeing
other people?
153
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,556
I'm sorry if you
misunderstood our arrangement.
154
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,475
What am I supposed
to tell our children?
155
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,478
They already know. And
they're happy for me.
156
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:01,230
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
157
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,819
Hey, neighbor.
Welcome to the jungle,
158
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,447
also known as, "Royal
Waverly Apartments."
159
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,157
Brought you
a housewarming present.
160
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,575
(PARTS)
161
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,788
That was great! You mind
if I use that at work?
162
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:17,997
It's yours,
my friend.
163
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,374
Hey, are you
into poker?
164
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,834
Well, I love to play,
but I'm not very good.
165
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,046
Also, I always forget to cash
my chips back in for money.
166
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,758
This man crush
just got bromantic.
167
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,468
You make words into dudes!
168
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,428
Guy five!
Yeah!
169
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,976
Hi, newbie. I'm
Caitlin with a
170
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,105
This is Kaitlyn with a
And this is Kate Lynn, two words.
171
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,440
(LAUGHING AWKWARDLY)
I'm Lisa, one word.
172
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,527
So, Lisa, what's your
favorite Alaska Nebraska song?
173
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,153
Mine's Touch a Star.
174
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,614
Mine's Make It Yours:
the Star Song.
175
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,700
Who's Alaska Nebraska?
176
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,910
Who's Alaska Nebraska?
177
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:59,872
Only the greatest 16-year-old
singer/actress in the world!
178
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,083
Do you even know
how lame you are?
179
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,711
I should warn you.
By using the term "lame,"
180
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,547
you're violating the Americans
with Disabilities Act.
181
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,007
Ew! That makes
you even lamer!
182
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,384
(LAUGHING)
183
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:16,764
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
184
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,433
Bfillus?
185
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,642
Nice work.
186
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,060
But I always get A's!
187
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,146
At my old school,
I got so many A's,
188
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,398
the teachers didn't
even check my work!
189
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,400
Maybe that's why
you got so many A's.
190
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,570
Oh, my God.
You've been challenged.
191
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:33,489
Well, Lisa, let's see
how you respond.
192
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:36,993
(CRYING)
193
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:44,417
Bart, at this school, I'm
not a brain, I'm not popular,
194
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,668
I'm not anything!
195
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,254
Not to worry. At this school,
we've got a clean slate.
196
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,174
In fact, I'm establishing
my cred right now.
197
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,258
(SIREN WAILS)
198
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,551
CLANCY: Got you!
199
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,428
Come on!
Hey!
200
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:59,515
Take this as a warning, kids. Bart
Simpson is the ultimate bad boy.
201
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,143
Befriend him and you'll
wind up just like him,
202
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:05,271
a rebel who does
what he wants when he wants.
203
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:08,566
Wow. Come on,
tough guy. Let's go.
204
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,861
GIRL: He's so bad!
205
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,620
Okay, I held up
my side of the bargain.
206
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,623
Now you have to go to
Ralphie's birthday party.
207
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,791
A deal's a deal.
208
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,918
And you'll stay
till we cut the cake.
209
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,836
Fine. I want
one gift bag now,
210
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,421
and one when
the party's over.
211
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:31,589
Fine, you got it.
212
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,969
BIG TONY: You wanted
a powwow, Chief?
213
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,347
I know you been dealing
drugs at the high school.
214
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,642
But I'll look the other way if
you come to Ralphie's party.
215
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,353
I ain't gonna pin
no tail on no donkey!
216
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,522
Look, just come to the party.
It's gonna be fun.
217
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,981
Batman's gonna be there!
218
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,483
(STUTTERS) Batman?
219
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:53,069
I ain't messing with
no caped crusader.
220
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,240
(SIGHS)
221
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,826
ALL: Wow.
222
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,327
I wonder
what he did?
223
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,496
I heard he burned down
his old school.
224
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,414
I heard he killed
a groundskeeper.
225
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,500
Oh, my.
That's a bit rough.
226
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:15,591
Now to turn my sis from
loser to schmoozer.
227
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,306
Que' pasa, ladies?
228
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,516
You're that
bad boy.
229
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,393
What do you want
from us, bad boy?
230
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,519
Don't tell anyone
231
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:30,231
but my sister Lisa is best
friends with Alaska Nebraska.
232
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,566
Get out of here!
No way!
233
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,692
You so lie!
234
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,194
She didn't even know
who Alaska Nebraska was.
235
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,573
Duh! She said that because
she respects Alaska's privacy,
236
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:42,952
just as I have no doubt you guys
will respect Lisa's privacy.
237
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,328
(CHUCKLES)
238
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:56,048
We're approaching
bandwidth overload, sir.
239
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,967
It's gossip at
Waverly Elementary.
240
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,051
How juicy is it?
241
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,261
The juiciest!
242
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,557
Hi, Lisa.
Hi, Caitlin.
243
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,933
She knows my name!
244
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,643
No, she knows
my name!
245
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,562
Bart, your plan
worked.
246
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,857
My plan was to lie, lie like
hell, and that's what I did.
247
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,234
Well, well.
248
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:18,404
It seems like someone forgot
about a previous engagement
249
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,532
at the bowling alley
from 2:00 to 4:30!
250
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:41,802
(GASPS)
251
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,112
Get him
and string him up!
252
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,076
"You have the right
to be delighted.
253
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:08,704
"If you do not have a gift,
one will be provided for you."
254
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:12,500
(HUMMING)
255
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,876
HOMER: It's open.
256
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,963
Marge, I'm glad you came!
There's a kegger down the hall.
257
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,048
We can go as soon as I
desecrate this corpse.
258
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,386
I'm sorry, Marge.
Where are my manners?
259
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,722
Did you want to taunt my kill, also?
Press the X button.
260
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,474
I'm doing it!
261
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,562
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
262
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,983
I'll get us
some brewskis.
263
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:41,570
Cup, m'lady? Or would you care
to funnel it down thy throat?
264
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,281
Definitely a cup.
265
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,242
Foam wasn't
spilt in a day.
266
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,411
Dude, your date
is hot.
267
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,912
Does she have
a sister?
268
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,831
Two, actually. Twins.
269
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,332
Twins!
270
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,462
I was an astronaut for a little bit.
So many rules.
271
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,464
(CHUCKLES)
272
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,261
Your hair smells nice.
273
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,224
Listen. I got a place
down the hall.
274
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,600
Let's go.
275
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:19,066
So were you two in the
same accident or what?
276
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:26,032
We don't need a bed. We're
not gonna be sleeping.
277
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,116
Woo-how.!
278
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,660
(KNOCKING ON WALL)
279
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,747
We're not the only ones
having a good time.
280
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,499
What in God's name
was I thinking?
281
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,045
Maybe you could
over again.
282
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,839
I'll cook you my special
microwave burritos.
283
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:46,218
I stop the oven when the middle
is still a little bit frozen.
284
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:51,390
You know what a girl likes, mister.
So can I see you again?
285
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:55,519
How about you, me and
my wife have a two-way?
286
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,604
(CHUCKLES)
287
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:58,981
Hi.
288
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,359
Lisa, I re-graded yourpaper
from the other day
289
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,402
and you got an A.
290
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,528
Really?
291
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,614
My kid's a huge
Alaska Nebraska fan.
292
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,408
If she could somehow get an
autographed photo or t-shirt,
293
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,869
that would be
A+ in my book.
294
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,246
Did you just wink at me?
295
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,415
Oh, look. There are pumpkin
stickers on the floor.
296
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,542
They must have fallen off
your homework for next week,
297
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,336
which you don't
have to hand in.
298
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:27,259
I didn't think I'd get a fresh
start like this till junior high.
299
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,303
(EXCLAIMS IN FRENCH)
300
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,223
(EXCLAIMING IN FRENCH)
301
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,476
Even the Ralph of this
school speaks French.
302
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,727
(BIDDING FAREWELL IN FRENCH)
303
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,149
I love tapas.
304
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:45,528
It's like appetizers for
a meal that never comes.
305
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,614
Try the “an
de Ieche de cabra.
306
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,033
Be sure to dig around
in the gunk.
307
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,036
(GASPS)
308
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,246
Homie!
309
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,499
A key to your apartment.
310
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,503
And I've got
a present for you.
311
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:06,382
But you'll have to wait till
we're back at the apartment.
312
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,426
Why can't I have it now?
You got your present here.
313
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,929
Basic fairness
dictates... Oh!
314
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,140
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
315
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,393
Caitlin, hi. Do a reading
at your bat mitzvah?
316
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,019
(THANKING IN YIDDISH)
317
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:23,023
Now my bat mitzvah means something.
By the way, I was wondering.
318
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,401
There's this Alaska Nebraska
concert this weekend,
319
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,319
and the tickets
are all sold out.
320
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,821
Well, if it's sold out,
321
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:32,700
even Alaska Nebraska's best friend
couldn't do anything about that.
322
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:33,784
(LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)
323
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,244
Can't build more seats.
324
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,746
Then get us backstage passes.
325
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,250
Surprise!
326
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,711
I redecorated!
327
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,589
Where are my video games,
my X-Box? My Wii?
328
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:51,760
You don't need a Wii now that I'm
here, because you and me make us.
329
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,346
You know, you're starting to
remind me a lot of my first wife.
330
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,057
We can talk about that
after brunch with my mother.
331
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,142
(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
332
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,521
Miss Nebraska,
333
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,649
your purified water and
fried chicken skins are here.
334
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:13,240
I am so tired
of fans in my food.
335
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:17,953
Alaska, we've never met, but
everyone thinks I'm your best friend.
336
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,496
Wait, wait.
Let me guess.
337
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,832
I'm supposed to give
all your best friends
338
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,876
front row seats
and backstage passes.
339
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,044
Could you?
340
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,462
First, riddle me this.
341
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,881
What's your favorite
episode of my show?
342
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,216
You have a show?
343
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,386
Look, can you
please, please
344
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,389
help a poor little girl who
was just trying to fit in?
345
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,892
It's what half your
songs are about.
346
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:43,520
You know what? I was a little
girl who didn't fit in, either.
347
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,899
So you know what I did? I
got a new nose, I got famous,
348
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,735
and now I date the starting point
guard for the L.A. Clippers.
349
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:53,155
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to go meditate and smoke.
350
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,657
(SIGHS)
351
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,409
Wait. I want to
ask you something.
352
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,870
Could you tell I lip-synched
that whole speech?
353
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,540
(ON RECORDING) You know what? I was a
little girl who didn't fit in, either.
354
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,335
So you know what I did?
I got a new nose. I...
355
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:07,628
That's amazing.
356
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,004
I know. Security.
357
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,341
You know, I think those shirts
should say "Insecurity."
358
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,927
Because if you feel you have to
put what you are on your shirt,
359
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,595
then I feel
sorry for you.
360
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:19,473
Do you feel sorry for me?
Guess not.
361
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,397
Where have you been?
We have mirrors to hang!
362
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,523
I went to a movie.
363
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,483
Without me?
How'd you get there?
364
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,277
I drove.
Without me?
365
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,071
Sometimes I think this
50-square-foot apartment
366
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,739
isn't big enough
for the both of us!
367
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,950
Fine! You can have
your key back!
368
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,620
I got it halfway.
369
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,289
It went back.
370
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,707
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
371
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:46,792
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
372
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,085
City inspector.
373
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:54,216
I'm here to verify that this is the
residence of Bart and Lisa Simpson.
374
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,895
D'oh!
375
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,734
Hello, friendos.
376
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,823
Here comes Lisa with
our backstage passes.
377
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,116
Yay!
378
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:21,577
People, I'm not
who you think I am.
379
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,830
I'm just a transfer student who
wanted to make some friends.
380
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,292
Yes, I lied to you. But you
only liked me because of a lie.
381
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,543
So if you think about it...
382
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:30,878
Get the liar!
383
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,514
Those are
last year's shoes!
384
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,558
Kill her!
Also, it's Lisa!
385
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:45,934
Kill her twice!
386
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,022
Go, Dog. Go
with pages missing.
387
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,776
Lego spaceship,
poorly assembled.
388
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:58,030
Clearly this is the home of
elementary school children. Too bad.
389
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:02,034
I was looking forward to killing you
and making it look like a suicide.
390
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,078
Thank you, friendo.
391
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,537
I am not
your friendo.
392
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:06,955
But I thought...
393
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,874
You said...
394
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:13,420
Mom! Dad! I have to leave Waverly
Hills and never come back!
395
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,505
I gotta get back, too!
396
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,632
I just remembered I was playing
hide and seek with Milhouse.
397
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:20,469
Three weeks? This has gotta
be some kind of record!
398
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,554
I can%leave
my bachelor pad.
399
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,847
My bros
will miss me.
400
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,015
No, we won't.
401
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,434
Your comments when we
watch movies aren't funny.
402
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,729
Why do you watch comedies if you
don't want to hear more jokes?
403
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:35,984
Please. I just want to go back to a
place where I'm ostracized for being me,
404
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,945
not for who
I pretend to be.
405
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:41,281
What do you think, Marge? Maybe
we've outgrown our first apartment.
406
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,536
Yeah. A house in the suburbs
does sound pretty nice right now,
407
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:49,206
although I am gonna miss
our little love nest.
408
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:58,924
Get a room!
409
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:00,759
HOMER: Come on, boy. Be cool.
But...
410
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,594
Be cool or
you're grounded.
411
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,514
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
412
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,853
(SINGING) Waverly Hills
413
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,814
That's where I want to be!
414
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,983
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme
415
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,610
Squatting in Waverly Hills
416
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,946
Waverly Hills
417
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,991
Get education fraudulently
418
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,285
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme
419
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:29,079
Mooching off
Waverly Hills
420
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:56,899
English - US - PSDH