1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,171
(electrical buzzing)

2
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,889
(snoring)

3
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,142
Oh, for the
love of...

4
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:18,977
-Huh?
-(cocks gun)

5
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:19,978
(groans)

6
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,730
(sighs)

7
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,523
Ah, Halloween:

8
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,985
the one night when we can walk
the streets undetected.

9
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,029
Hey, lame-os.

10
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,156
Turner Classic
Movies called.

11
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,158
They want
their costumes back.

12
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,618
(taunting laughter)

13
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,787
We lame-os?

14
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,706
I have a remedy
for our predicament.

15
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,708
Into this costumery.

16
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,168
(sinister laugh)

17
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,714
-Yeah?
-Oh.

18
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:48,882
(party music playing)

19
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,219
(doorbell rings)

20
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,598
(grunting)

21
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,641
Friends of Homer’s?

22
00:00:58,725 --> 00:00:59,976
They’re not my friends.

23
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,853
We brought a bottle of booze.

24
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,230
Boooooze!

25
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,857
Come in! Come in!

26
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:06,900
(grunts)

27
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,526
(owl hooting)

28
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,823
(chuckling)

29
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,116
Mmm.

30
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,451
Good!

31
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,244
Beer good.

32
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,789
You good.

33
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:21,831
(both moan)

34
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,041
(doorbell rings)

35
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,001
(gasps)

36
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,923
(all scream)

37
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,926
You said you were going out
to kill children tonight.

38
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,427
We were,

39
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,930
then we bumped into
our old friend, the-the-the--

40
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,431
my man here!

41
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,683
You’ll be sucking
your own blood tonight.

42
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,769
Let’s get ’em, girls!

43
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,521
(monsters groaning)

44
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,814
-Bad Wolf!
-(whining)

45
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,023
Bad!

46
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,650
Lighten up, ladies.

47
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,985
It’s not cheating
when you’re wearing a costume!

48
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,154
(screams): Not the face!

49
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,968
It’s time to announce my choice
to represent our class

50
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,095
at the National Reading Roundup.

51
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,055
{\an8}(chuckling): <i>Here it comes.</i>

52
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,683
{\an8}My choice is...
Hubert Wong!

53
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,101
{\an8}-(applause)
-Wha...?

54
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:24,769
{\an8}Hooray for Different-Face!

55
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,813
{\an8}Congratulations,
Hubert.

56
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,773
{\an8}Or should I congratulate
your tutor:

57
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,984
{\an8}Amelia,
at the Homework Factory!

58
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,027
{\an8}Your victory is tainted!

59
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,071
{\an8}-Asterisk! Asterisk!
-Lisa,

60
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,364
{\an8}don’t take it personally.

61
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,867
{\an8}I barely spent any time
on this decision.

62
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,451
{\an8}Asterisk! Asterisk!

63
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,494
{\an8}Asterisk!

64
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,833
{\an8}Lisa Simpson
in detention?!

65
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,460
{\an8}My horoscope told me I’d see
something interesting today,

66
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,713
{\an8}but I thought that meant
the horoscope itself!

67
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,798
{\an8}Stupid Miss Hoover.

68
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,551
{\an8}(grumbling)

69
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,178
{\an8}I heard about your run-in
with Hoover.

70
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,387
{\an8}Aren’t teachers
the worst?

71
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,097
{\an8}I don’t want to
talk about it.

72
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,057
{\an8}Listen, you’re
a smart kid.

73
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,726
{\an8}I bet you like ideas.

74
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:05,810
{\an8}I do.

75
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,188
{\an8}Well, I just had a whopper!

76
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,982
{\an8}What if you got revenge
on Krabappel for me,

77
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,735
{\an8}and I got revenge
on Hoover for you?

78
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:14,736
{\an8}Crisscross!

79
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,070
{\an8}Interesting.

80
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,907
{\an8}With no obvious motive,
no one would suspect us.

81
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,950
{\an8}Exactly! Crisscross!

82
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,076
{\an8}-Do we have a deal?
-Thanks,

83
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,161
{\an8}but I’ll pass.

84
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,329
{\an8}If I say "crisscross"
one more time,

85
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,330
{\an8}-will that change your mind?
-Listen,

86
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,123
{\an8}you’re a persistent
fellow, but I...

87
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,541
{\an8}-Crisscross!
-I’m in.

88
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,585
♪♪

89
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,143
{\an8}Bart, have you established
your alibi?

90
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,603
{\an8}Yep. I’m at the tennis match.

91
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,313
{\an8}And people will remember
you were there?

92
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,232
{\an8}I’m pretty sure they will.

93
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,316
{\an8}Mm-hmm.

94
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,193
{\an8}Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

95
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,948
{\an8}(doorbell rings)

96
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,283
{\an8}Hello?

97
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,035
{\an8}Hello? Oh!

98
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,120
{\an8}I’ve been ding-dong-ditched!

99
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,497
{\an8}(sinister chuckle)

100
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,249
{\an8}Crisscross.

101
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,126
{\an8}(cackles)

102
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,171
{\an8}You should’ve seen the look
on Krabappel’s face!

103
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,340
{\an8}And you should’ve seen
the look on Hoover’s face.

104
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,258
{\an8}In fact,

105
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,759
{\an8}here it is.

106
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:21,010
{\an8}(gasps)

107
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,470
{\an8}You killed her?

108
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:23,972
{\an8}Right. Like we agreed.

109
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,431
{\an8}I never said "kill"!

110
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,808
{\an8}Yeah, ’cause you’re smart.

111
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,977
{\an8}You don’t say "kill,"
you say "prank."

112
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,561
{\an8}Like Mom and Dad
say "snuggle"

113
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,021
{\an8}when what they
really mean is

114
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,314
{\an8}"let’s lock the
door and hug."

115
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,441
{\an8}Well, I didn’t kill
Mrs. Krabappel!

116
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,735
{\an8}So, all you did was ring
her doorbell and run?

117
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,904
{\an8}Yeah, ding-dong-ditch!

118
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,156
{\an8}"Ding-dong-ditch"
means you kill her,

119
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,492
{\an8}then you throw
into a ditch.

120
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,536
{\an8}Geez, pick up a book.

121
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,870
{\an8}You’re a monster!

122
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,956
{\an8}A deal’s a deal,
little sister.

123
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,958
{\an8}Tomorrow after school,
go to her house and T.P. her.

124
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,002
{\an8}That’s it?
Just T.P. her?

125
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,545
{\an8}Yeah, torture and pulverize her.

126
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,714
{\an8}Then ding-dong-ditch the body
and we’re even.

127
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,424
{\an8}I think I’m gonna
be sick.

128
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,262
(rhythmic chopping)

129
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,894
Oh, Lisa!

130
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,814
Come hold this blade so it
doesn’t slice through my neck.

131
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,692
Come on.

132
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,235
I trust you completely.

133
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,827
Slice her like a bagel!

134
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,911
Ah, got it!

135
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,121
{\an8}Thanks, Lisa.

136
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,914
{\an8}Last thing I want is
to be sliced in two--

137
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:32,999
{\an8}you know, like a bagel.

138
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,049
(water running)

139
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,300
(gasps)

140
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,468
Bart?

141
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,178
I’ve been waiting
for you...

142
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,305
and trying to figure out
how girls pee.

143
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,850
Sorry, Bart, I couldn’t do it!

144
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,810
There’s got to be another way.

145
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,437
What if I gave you
homework help?

146
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,980
I won’t give you
the answers,

147
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,191
but I’ll give you the tools
to find the answers yourself.

148
00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,442
No dice.

149
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,943
Either take care of Krabappel,

150
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,821
or Groundskeeper Willie will say
he saw you kill Miss Hoover.

151
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,323
Why would Willie do that?

152
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,699
Let’s just say...

153
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:07,950
he owes me a favor.

154
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,285
(screams)

155
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,412
Crisscross!

156
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,373
Like the plaid
on me kilt!

157
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,415
You’re not wearing
a kilt.

158
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,625
Uh-oh.

159
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:16,876
All right, Bart.

160
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,419
I guess I have
no choice.

161
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,296
I have to kill...

162
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,006
-you!
-(screams)

163
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,538
♪♪

164
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,671
-(bells ringing)
-KIDS: Ice cream!

165
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,756
(kids cheering)

166
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,009
(merry-go-round squeaking)

167
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,678
-(growling)
-(screams)

168
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:12,807
Go ahead, do it.

169
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,142
You’re no different from me.

170
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,601
We’re made from the same dinna.

171
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,770
It’s pronounced D-N-A,
you idiot.

172
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,689
And we are not the same.

173
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,984
I am not a murderer,
and I never will be!

174
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:24,902
(groans)

175
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,696
-(gasping)
-(applause)

176
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,698
Well done, Lisa!

177
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,950
It was an accident,
I swear!

178
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,952
Sure. An accident.

179
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:33,995
Ha!

180
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,998
<i>Ay caramba, </i>you little snot.

181
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,051
I’m here at Krustyburger
for the launch

182
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,887
of the highly anticipated
"Burger Squared."

183
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,430
Krusty, what
can you tell us

184
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,724
about this fantastic
new sandwich?

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