1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,297 CHORUS SINGS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,846 (exclaims) 3 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,310 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:22,689 (belches) 5 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,566 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,776 (yells) 7 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,198 (beeping) 8 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:43,960 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,545 (tires screeching) 10 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,381 D'oh! 11 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:49,382 (tires screeching) 12 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,009 (grunts) 13 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,188 Excellent. 14 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:12,572 {\an8}(laughing) 15 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,120 {\an8}(screams) 16 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,831 {\an8}Don't worry. I'll put out the flames. 17 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:22,916 {\an8}-(thuds) -(groans) 18 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,251 {\an8}Oops! I used the wrong end. 19 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,837 {\an8}(muffled grumbling) 20 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:28,880 {\an8}(groaning) 21 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,216 {\an8}(laughing) 22 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:32,759 {\an8}Hilarious! 23 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,385 {\an8}I don't like this. 24 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,430 {\an8}Real humor comes from people being nice to each other. 25 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,932 {\an8}Aw, come on, Marge. 26 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,768 {\an8}There's nothing funnier than a good old bonk on the head. 27 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,603 {\an8}-I concur. -D'oh! 28 00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,563 {\an8}-(giggling) -Not funny. 29 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,608 {\an8}Good night kids, and don't forget, Krusty loves you! 30 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:50,985 {\an8}MAN: That's a wrap! 31 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,904 {\an8}And you kids in the studio audience, 32 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:55,323 {\an8}please hand back all the hats, toys, and savings bonds 33 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:56,741 {\an8}I passed out during the taping. 34 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,493 {\an8}(kids exclaiming sadly) 35 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,665 {\an8}Great show, Krusty. 36 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,583 {\an8}Terrific! We've got to make changes. 37 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,918 {\an8}Big changes. 38 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,711 {\an8}These are your ratings with young girls. 39 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,256 {\an8}Hey, if my writers knew how to appeal to girls, 40 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,633 {\an8}they wouldn't be writers. 41 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,678 {\an8}First of all, we love being in the Krusty business. 42 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:19,472 {\an8}The subtitle: "We don't trust you at all." 43 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,516 {\an8}Anyway, we're giving you a new female costar 44 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,017 {\an8}-and she starts Monday. -What?! 45 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,727 {\an8}A new costar?! 46 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,230 {\an8}Suppose I refuse to go along with this? 47 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,065 {\an8}Then we've got an entire reality show 48 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,109 {\an8}all set to pick the new you. 49 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,695 {\an8}Hey, hey! I'm non-union! 50 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,822 {\an8}Okay, okay. Change the show however you want! 51 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,158 {\an8}Make it exactly like the other crap on your network, 52 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,160 {\an8}but just let me stay! 53 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,912 {\an8}(sobs): Just don't fire me. 54 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,081 {\an8}Now that's groveling. 55 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,458 {\an8}Time to try out my new deep fryer. 56 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,043 {\an8}Who wants fresh doughnuts? 57 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,503 {\an8}-Me! Me! Me-me-me! -Me! Me! Me-me-me! 58 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,047 {\an8}And I even got rainbow sprinkles. 59 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,175 {\an8}Some rainbow-- there's no violet. 60 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,551 {\an8}Then don't have any. 61 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,927 {\an8}Hey, don't listen to me! 62 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,220 {\an8}What do I know about rainbows? 63 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,346 {\an8}(smacking lips) Mmm. 64 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,681 {\an8}None for me, Marge. 65 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,308 {\an8}I get free doughnuts at work. 66 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,475 {\an8}I can see them now. 67 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,686 {\an8}In the break room, beside the fridge, 68 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,646 {\an8}the pink cardboard box awaits. 69 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,774 {\an8}Groaning with a "United Nations" of doughnuts: 70 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,360 {\an8}jellies rubbing elbows with cream-filled, 71 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,946 {\an8}the masculine contours of the box juxtaposed 72 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,908 {\an8}with the feminine curves of the treats themselves. 73 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,535 {\an8}Why didn't you try to stop him? 74 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,704 {\an8}I did, once. 75 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,331 {\an8}(humming happily) 76 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:27,457 {\an8}(exclaims) 77 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,666 {\an8}No pink box? 78 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,084 {\an8}Wha-What's going on? 79 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:33,004 {\an8}I'm afraid your daily doughnuts are no more. 80 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,215 {\an8}You. Can't. Do. That. 81 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,300 {\an8}Until Mr. Roosevelt's New Deal starts working, 82 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,635 {\an8}this country's still in a depression. 83 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,887 {\an8}I'm spending a fortune on atoms, 84 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,055 {\an8}and we have to cut costs. 85 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,598 {\an8}But we have way more expensive 86 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,141 {\an8}unnecessaries than doughnuts. 87 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,935 {\an8}Yeah, like the ceiling furniture. 88 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,312 {\an8}Or all the joke ID badges we order. 89 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,521 {\an8}No doughnuts! 90 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:51,689 {\an8}-No! -D'oh! 91 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,607 {\an8}Nuts! 92 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,025 {\an8}Exactly. 93 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,403 {\an8}Hey! Hey! 94 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,405 {\an8}But seriously, hey, hey, kids. 95 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,823 {\an8}A word about today's show. 96 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,243 {\an8}The network "geniuses" 97 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,828 {\an8}with the ink still drying on their MBAs... 98 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,789 {\an8}(derisive laughter) 99 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:10,875 {\an8}...think your old pal Krusty should share his limelight 100 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,044 {\an8}with an up-and-coming new star. 101 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,046 {\an8}Let's give a respectful welcome 102 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,465 {\an8}to Princess Penelope. 103 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,758 (sparse applause) 104 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:20,843 ♪♪ 105 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:28,017 ♪ Where do I keep my princess-ness? ♪ 106 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:32,522 ♪ It's not in my jewels or my crown ♪ 107 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:37,902 ♪ It's not in the smiles of my handmaids three ♪ 108 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,779 ♪ Who hold up the train ♪ 109 00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:42,448 ♪ Of my gown ♪ 110 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:47,787 ♪ It's the part of me that wants to be ♪ 111 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:52,834 ♪ The girl whom everyone flatters ♪ 112 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,174 (groans) 113 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,844 ♪ 'Cause in her heart ♪ 114 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,679 ♪ A princess knows ♪ 115 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:09,976 ♪ She's the only girl who matters ♪ 116 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,855 (trilling high note) 117 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,941 I can't keep watching this dreck. 118 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,401 (relieved sigh) 119 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:19,652 Much better. 120 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,904 First, girls ruined Sex and the City. 121 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,281 Now this. 122 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,907 I agree it's cliché, 123 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,159 but she does have a certain... 124 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,994 (gasps) Unicorn! 125 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,956 (exclaims) 126 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,583 That is so fake. 127 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,293 You can see the strap on the horn. 128 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,461 Just give me this! 129 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,089 Easy there, Habitrail. 130 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,883 They took away our doughnuts at work. 131 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,427 -All I've had are my meals. -And the worst thing is, 132 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,012 there's nothing we can do about it. 133 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,347 I think that's the best thing 134 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,765 'cause then you can say, "Well, 135 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,433 there's nothing we can do about it." 136 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,269 Bartender, buy these men a round on me. 137 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,271 You want to "buy a round?" 138 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,065 I heard about that in bartending school, 139 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,025 but I never seen it happen. 140 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,985 Oh, this is very good for me. 141 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,487 Very good indeed. 142 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,614 Gator McCall. I'm a headhunter. 143 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:05,782 (screams) 144 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,991 (chuckles) 145 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,409 I'm a corporate recruiter 146 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,661 who specializes in nuclear workers. 147 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:13,956 I guess these days, headhunters can be anything. 148 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,335 You nuclear workers have no idea how valuable you are. 149 00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,961 Times have never been better for your industry, 150 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,297 now that all the protesters who marched in front 151 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,965 of nuclear power plants are dying off 152 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,384 from radiation poisoning. 153 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,719 Are these business cards 154 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,679 or passports to a better future? 155 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640 -Those are business cards. -Nice. 156 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,102 Krusty, thanks to Princess Penelope, 157 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,686 your studio audience is packed. 158 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,523 And we didn't need any cardboard kids. 159 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,942 Yeah, but they're all girls. 160 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,319 Girls don't laugh, and they don't buy cigars. 161 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,239 Dutch Masters is gonna drop us like a hot potato. 162 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,949 -(music plays, excited chatter) -Hey, hey, kids! 163 00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,367 Let's see what's in the news. 164 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,703 I see we reached a soft timber agreement with Canada. 165 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,956 GIRLS (chanting): We want the Princess! 166 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,290 Don't forget the unicorn! 167 00:06:56,374 --> 00:07:00,253 Did I hear the sound of wishes being wished? 168 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:01,671 (girls clamoring): Yes! Yes! 169 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,381 ♪♪ 170 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:07,176 ♪ Glitter and sparkle, one, two, three ♪ 171 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,472 ♪ You're all princesses just like me. ♪ 172 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,143 (sneezing) 173 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,604 Breathin' all this stuff can't be good. 174 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,856 Poor Krusty. 175 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,233 He's become the lowest form of life: a sidekick. 176 00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:23,901 You said it, Bart. 177 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,236 Way to sum up the situation. 178 00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:26,904 Take it easy, little buddy. 179 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,990 That's exactly how I'll take it. 180 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,665 -Wanna come in and get your sister with me? -Hell, no. 181 00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,625 Watch your language. Now, why the hell not? 182 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,961 Ah, The Krusty Show sucks now. 183 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,880 It's all pink and princessy. 184 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,048 Why are great things always ruined by women? 185 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,009 The Army, the Fantastic Four. 186 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,844 Think how awesome American Idol 187 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,262 would be with just Simon and Randy. 188 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,306 (chuckles) 189 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,807 Oh, Bart, you say that now. 190 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,143 But when you're grown-up, you'll just think it. 191 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,895 Now you stay here and I'll get your sister. 192 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,229 (humming) 193 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,024 Princess Penelope, sign mine, sign mine! 194 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,739 (gasps) 195 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,574 What the...?! 196 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,119 Where's all your Krusty stuff? 197 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,121 Right through that magical door. 198 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,250 (gasps) 199 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,418 Ay carumba! 200 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,587 (groans) 201 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,383 Krusty? 202 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,011 Snap out of it! 203 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,554 You're Krusty the Clown. 204 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,681 One of Look magazine's hundred most-promising clowns 205 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,391 of 1958. 206 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,102 A lot of suicides in that group. 207 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,564 Funny suicides (chuckles), but still. 208 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:44,899 My day is over, kid. 209 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,526 What are you talking about? 210 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,110 Whose name is on that sign? 211 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,532 D'oh! 212 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:56,953 -(Krusty doll laughing) -Hey, how'd this one get way over here? 213 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,333 That's it. I've hit rock-bottom. 214 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,335 Well, my comeback starts now. 215 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,172 I mean, now. Ow! 216 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,800 Let me start by getting out of the Dumpster. 217 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:14,512 Oh, why do clown things always happen to clowns? 218 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,187 Now other nuclear plants let their employees 219 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,315 tape Gary Larson cartoons on their workstations. 220 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,819 But here at Cap City Nuclear, you can actually see... 221 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,070 Gary Larson. 222 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,573 Gary Larson?! I thought you retired. 223 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:34,991 I was retired 224 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,368 until I got the call from Capital City Nuclear, 225 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,995 offering me the chance to be 226 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,705 the in-house cartoonist at a nuclear plant. 227 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,207 Gary, why don't you whip up an instant classic 228 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,002 -for my friends here? -You got it, Gator. 229 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:53,718 Man, a lion would not want to see that on his X-ray. 230 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,805 (New York accent): Where are you? Where? 231 00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:01,726 You're not even in Nassau County anymore. You're in Suffolk. 232 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,812 Look, look, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 233 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:05,771 You're going the wrong way. 234 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:06,897 -(knocking) -Hold on. 235 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,399 (lilting voice): Coming! 236 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,901 Now see here, Little Miss Scene Stealer, 237 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,403 I'm the star of this show. 238 00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,530 You're just the reason people tune in. 239 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,866 (New York accent): Krusty, there's something I have to tell you. 240 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,951 No, no! Let me finish: 241 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,828 I work like I drink: alone. 242 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,121 Or with a monkey watching me. 243 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,582 Krusty... I love you. 244 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:27,627 That way, if I pass out, he turns me on my side so... 245 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,919 You what?! 246 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:32,965 I have loved you since I was a 12-year-old girl, 247 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,718 in Mineola, Long Island, watching your show. 248 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,428 WDQT? 249 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,972 They had this fat, pathetic station manager. 250 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,807 -That was my father. -Great guy. 251 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,852 I still have my Krusty Klub ring. 252 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:48,814 I wasn't popular because I was more beautiful and friendly 253 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,066 than everyone else, 254 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,734 but whenever I looked at this ring, 255 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,945 I knew I had one friend. 256 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,406 You know those rings came with a membership card. 257 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,242 That's the one. 258 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,746 Oh, my God. 259 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,457 Please don't tell me I died on the operating table again. 260 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,500 You didn't. 261 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,960 This is real, Krusty. 262 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,546 (nervous chuckle) 263 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:24,266 Welcome to the Krusty and Princess Penelope 264 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,602 Smoochie-Poo I Love You Hour. 265 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,146 No laughs, just hugs and cuddles. 266 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,564 Don't worry. 267 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,024 Mr. Teeny's got a flaming arrow. 268 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,156 Oh, yuck. 269 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:47,206 (to the tune of "This Old Man") ♪ This old clown, tee-hee-hee ♪ 270 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,458 ♪ He's as happy as can be ♪ 271 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,961 ♪ 'Cause I got a girlfriend under 33... ♪ 272 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,088 -Boo! -Boo! 273 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:56,716 I walked 19 miles for this? 274 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,552 ♪ Can't you kids be glad for me? ♪ 275 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,306 ♪ I am her, she is me ♪ 276 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,351 ♪ I'm just like Penelope... ♪ 277 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,397 ♪ It's still on in my head ♪ 278 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,691 ♪ It will be there till I'm dead... ♪ 279 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:14,734 (groans) 280 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,485 (humming tune) 281 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,239 Whether she was competing in equestrian events 282 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:24,702 at the 1976 Olympics or spending her summers at Holyrood Palace, 283 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,413 Princess Anne is truly a world leader. 284 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,044 Okay, so far, for "Inspirational Women Day" 285 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,547 we've had one Princess Anne, 15 Dianas, 286 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:39,759 two baby Princess Ingrid Alexandras of Norway, 287 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,010 and one Princess Leia. 288 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,429 -I'm a Star Wars. -(sighs) 289 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:48,392 (satisfied moan) 290 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:52,313 I don't care what anyone says. Massages are relaxing. 291 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:55,816 Now if you boys sign up with Cap City Nuclear, 292 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,067 you'll get weekly massages, 293 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,404 plus free sushi right through the face hole. 294 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,828 Sir, I have some unsettling news: 295 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,914 three of our workers are being poached. 296 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,373 The heart of our tug-of-war team. 297 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:14,043 No. No, this is our year. How can this be happening? 298 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,504 Sir, I'm afraid your doughnut-cutting measures, 299 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,215 while reasonable, were perceived as draconian. 300 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:22,468 Comparing me to old Draco, eh? 301 00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,637 I'll have to do something about this. 302 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,474 (cracking) 303 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,187 (lush romantic music playing) 304 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:38,442 ♪ I was a parched little seedling ♪ 305 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:43,781 ♪ Until you were watered with love ♪ 306 00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:50,663 ♪ Love, love, love, love, love. ♪ 307 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,248 Stop the music! 308 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,707 Thank God. 309 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,709 I'm sick and tired of this woman... 310 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,002 Yes! 311 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,629 ...not being married to me. 312 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:00,005 Huh? 313 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:04,134 Penelope, will you be my princess bride? 314 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:09,056 Oh, Krusty, yes! Yes! 315 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,766 (trilling high note) 316 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,018 That's it. Game over. 317 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,437 Is it, Bart? Is it? 318 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,814 What are you talking about? 319 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,692 A wedding is a complex thing, Bart. 320 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:22,319 It's so easy for something to go wrong. 321 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,779 (gasps) 322 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,615 Milhouse Van Houten, will you do me the honor 323 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,701 of ruining Krusty's wedding with me? 324 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:31,912 Oh, Bart, this is all happening so fast. 325 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,789 Let's call my mom together. 326 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:42,965 Goodbye, power plant. 327 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:46,886 (sobbing) I'd better get out of here before I have a meltdown. 328 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,848 If I hadn't had to work in you, we might've been friends. 329 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,516 So long. 330 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,478 Oh, right. 331 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,566 (all gasping) 332 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,861 Gentlemen. 333 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,822 Please don't leave me. 334 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,741 Sir, I'm afraid it's too late. 335 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,410 Oh, I imagine Cap City's been wooing you 336 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,953 with trips to the seashore, 337 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,247 a Christmas goose, Spanish lemons, 338 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,665 folderol I can't afford to match. 339 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,377 But please, accept this little going-away present. 340 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:21,795 (scoffs) 341 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,590 You can't win us back with mere doughnuts. 342 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,217 Oh, but these aren't just any doughnuts. 343 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:30,346 These doughnuts were made the old-fashioned way: 344 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,765 the dough is sweetened with Cuban sugar 345 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,685 from pre-Batista plantations, then it's deep-fried 346 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,938 in the tallow of three different animals, 347 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,106 two of which are now extinct. 348 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,900 Hmm? 349 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,822 (Delibes' "The Flower Duet" playing) 350 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:53,077 That is the most amazing doughnut I've ever tasted. 351 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,913 Well, if you stay on at the Springfield Nuclear Plant, 352 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,248 you could have one of these tasty beauties every day. 353 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,626 (groans) 354 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,461 One of these every day might kill us. 355 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,546 Can we get a health plan to go with them? 356 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,799 Sure, you can have a health plan... 357 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,884 or two doughnuts a day. 358 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,887 (moaning ecstatically) 359 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,056 Move over, Brangelina. 360 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,308 Take a backseat, Queen Latifarod. 361 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,311 Because today belongs to "Krustelope." 362 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:21,438 This is the 15th marriage for Krusty, 363 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,399 and the first for "Princess Penelope," 364 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,025 who is not, in fact, a real princess. 365 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,860 Her actual name is: 366 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:31,240 Penelope Mountbatten Hapsburg Hohenzollern Mulan-Pocahontas. 367 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,412 (singing in Hebrew) 368 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,838 (clearing throat) 369 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,923 Well, let's do the ceremony. 370 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,300 ("Bridal March" playing) 371 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,432 Friends, loved ones, we are gathered here today 372 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,226 to marry a Jew and a... 373 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,604 Congregationalist-- is that even a thing? 374 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,149 And now, let's continue with this mockery. 375 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,859 Hmm? Hmm? 376 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,527 You're not my ring bearer. 377 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,070 What happened to the monkey? 378 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,488 I locked him in the Torah room. 379 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:14,867 (chattering) 380 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,744 Kid, what's your angle? 381 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,954 I'm trying to seal the deal over here. 382 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,165 Princess, before you marry Krusty, 383 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,332 there's someone you should meet. 384 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,792 Holly Hippie. 385 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:28,130 Krusty's sidekick in 1969 and his first wife. 386 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,090 He wouldn't let me watch the moon landing. 387 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:33,093 I was jealous of Neil Armstrong. 388 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,054 And his last wife, Eartha Kitt, 389 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,014 recorded this before her untimely death. 390 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,433 They were only married for six hours, 391 00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,393 but she still hated Krusty. 392 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,896 He was asleep for five of those hours. 393 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:47,441 And the one he was awake, was a cat-tastrophe. 394 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:48,525 (snarling) 395 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,112 Wow, wow, this is such an eye-opener. 396 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:56,158 I am blown away by how little this bothers me. 397 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,035 I really love this guy. 398 00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:02,790 And you are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. 399 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,542 And that's why I can't marry you. 400 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,212 This kid and his ugly sister are right. 401 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,797 I won't be good enough for ya. 402 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,050 You can never disappoint me. 403 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,719 I know your past-- your mug shots, 404 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,389 your bowling alley shoe spray addiction, your country album. 405 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,766 They don't bother me. 406 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,518 They don't? 407 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,144 Don't you love me? 408 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:32,027 Princess, you're the only woman I care about enough 409 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,570 to ditch at the altar. 410 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,197 Okay, Krusty, 411 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,366 if that's how you feel. 412 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,410 We'll always have Sideshow Mel's dressing room. 413 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,663 What?! Ew! 414 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,711 (lively music playing) 415 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,713 (laughing) 416 00:18:53,090 --> 00:19:03,517 ♪ We're after the same rainbow's end ♪ 417 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:08,939 ♪ Waiting 'round the bend ♪ 418 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:13,068 ♪ My huckleberry friend ♪ 419 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:21,160 ♪ Moon river ♪ 420 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:29,751 ♪ And me... ♪ 421 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,628 (applause) 422 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,131 Merci. Merci. 423 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,278 (gasps) 424 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:57,905 Oh... 425 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,823 Just my imagination. 426 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,074 KRUSTY: No, it wasn't. 427 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,327 I came here looking for you, and I fell off the boat. 428 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,079 (gurgling) 429 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,124 Krusty! My Borscht Belt baby! 430 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,046 You changed your mind. 431 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:19,801 Ah, I'd rather be a happy schnook than a noble shlumpf. 432 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,887 ♪♪ 433 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,951 ♪♪ 434 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:26,201 (trilling high note) 435 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,704 {\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem