1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:06,256 {\an8}-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ -OTTO: Whoa! 2 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,299 {\an8}(theme music playing) 3 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,553 (gasps) 4 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,852 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,063 (Barney belches) 6 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,275 -(whistle blows) -(yells) 7 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,448 (beeping) 8 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,872 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,333 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:45,045 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,131 D'oh! 12 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,467 -(tires screeching) -(grunts) 13 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,192 {\an8}It's 4:00 a.m. 14 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,944 {\an8}You kids should have been in bed a half-hour ago. 15 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:13,114 {\an8}We're watching the Nobel Prize announcements live from Stockholm. 16 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,283 {\an8}Ooh, the Nobies! (grunting) 17 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,701 {\an8}For Economics... 18 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,704 {\an8}Jagdish Bhagwati. 19 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,373 {\an8}Huzzah! I had him in the pool. 20 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,917 {\an8}-HOMER: Lucky. -Quiet! 21 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,377 {\an8}It's time for the noblest Nobel Prize of all-- 22 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,088 {\an8}the Peace Prize. 23 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,256 I would kill for that. 24 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,259 And the Nobel Prize for Peace goes to... 25 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,427 Isn't this exciting? 26 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,096 ...Krusty the Clown. 27 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,972 (gasping) 28 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,976 BROCKMAN: And now, to comment on joining the ranks of 29 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:45,355 {\an8}Martin Luther King, Ghandi, and Desmond Tutu, 30 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,941 {\an8}here's the man who always parks in my spot, 31 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,400 {\an8}Krusty the Clown. 32 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,027 {\an8}I'd just like to say-- 33 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,364 {\an8}this thing is worth nearly two million dollars. 34 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,492 {\an8}How do you like me now, Teen Choice Awards? 35 00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,370 {\an8}Kent Brockman, Channel Six, and channelsix.com. 36 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,997 {\an8}Will you be flying to Norway to accept the prize? 37 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,458 {\an8}I'm looking forward to visiting the Arctic Circle, 38 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,836 {\an8}or as I call it, my wife's side of the bed! 39 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,796 {\an8}For the purposes of that joke, I'm married. 40 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:13,216 {\an8}(guffawing) 41 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,224 {\an8}(wheezing) 42 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,644 {\an8}(choking, coughing) 43 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:27,397 {\an8}Hey! You! Big Chief Laugh-at-Crap. 44 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,315 {\an8}Meet me in my limo in five minutes. 45 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,484 {\an8}(springs creaking) 46 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,154 {\an8}(laughs) 47 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:37,115 {\an8}Arctic Circle-- I just got that! 48 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,825 {\an8}All right, all right, settle down. 49 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,911 {\an8}Homer, you're the easiest laugh I know. 50 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,496 {\an8}How easy am I? 51 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,914 {\an8}Shut up! 52 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,374 {\an8}I'm gonna need you in the audience 53 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,626 {\an8}when I accept the Peace Prize in Oslo. 54 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,503 {\an8}(gasps) Can my son come, too? 55 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,839 {\an8}He knows what to do when I swallow my tongue. 56 00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:54,174 {\an8}Eh, why not? 57 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,593 {\an8}♪ They fight and bite ♪ 58 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,887 {\an8}♪ They fight and bite and fight ♪ 59 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,806 ♪ Fight, fight, fight, bite, bite, bite ♪ 60 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:08,146 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show ♪ 61 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,106 They fight and bite? 62 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,567 I never go to Europe without learning something. 63 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,778 Now listen, I need you two to hold these for me. 64 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,948 {\an8}Your drugs put me to sleep. Your drugs wake me up. 65 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,326 {\an8}If I ask you to give me more, you say no. 66 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:24,287 {\an8}If I ask you again, you give 'em to me. 67 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,415 {\an8}LISA: Why aren't I going to Oslo? 68 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,792 {\an8}The Nobel Prizes are my freakin' thing. 69 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,586 {\an8}But no, Bart gets everything 70 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,588 {\an8}because he's the oldest, and he's a boy. 71 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,548 And Maggie gets what's ever left over, 72 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,467 because she's the youngest and she's a baby. 73 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,969 Meanwhile, I just stand and wave 74 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,763 to people going to better places. 75 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,724 Would half a bottle of confiscated water cheer you up? 76 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,351 -Ew, no thanks. -Oh. 77 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,102 Quite the little princess, ain't she? 78 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,520 (Lisa sighs) 79 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:52,690 I'm just gonna chill out with a little This American Life. 80 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,443 {\an8}I'm Ira Glass. Remember when you were five years old, 81 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,237 {\an8}putting ketchup on your hot dog? 82 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,572 {\an8}Today, in five acts-- condiments. 83 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,241 {\an8}Act one, mustard. 84 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,076 {\an8}Act two, mayo. 85 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:04,786 {\an8}Act three, relish. 86 00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,788 Act four, corn relish... 87 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,374 Mom, this isn't the way home. 88 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,417 Maybe we're not going home right away. 89 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,961 Oh, I get it. 90 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,880 They go to Oslo, we get some ice cream. 91 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:19,300 Well, you could get some ice cream, or... 92 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:23,137 spend a week at performing arts camp! 93 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,265 Whoops-- didn't time that quite right. 94 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,268 (happy gasp) Oh, my God! Mom, thank you! 95 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,687 I just need my... (gasps) 96 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,523 Did you really think I'd forget? 97 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,900 Now have a great time. 98 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,319 Victory for the middle child! 99 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,197 Aw, you think I forgot you? 100 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,950 Babies shouldn't jump to conclusions. 101 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,118 (happy gasp) 102 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,087 Hello? Hello? 103 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,506 (screams) 104 00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,507 Huh? 105 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,342 ♪ I... ♪ 106 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,887 ♪ I love the elegant pearls you wear ♪ 107 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:10,601 ♪ And the starfish shape that constitutes your hair ♪ 108 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,564 ♪ You'll... ♪ 109 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:18,192 ♪ Be staying in Cabin 12 ♪ 110 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:23,281 ♪ And we think that you'll be very happy there ♪ 111 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,411 CAMPERS: ♪ You're gonna like arts camp, Lisa ♪ 112 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:31,539 ♪ Marge paid with her debit Visa... ♪ 113 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:34,751 ♪ Arts, arts, arts education ♪ 114 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,795 ♪ Marge paid with her debit Visa... ♪ 115 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:41,966 ♪ Arts, arts, arts education ♪ 116 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,135 ♪ Marge paid with her debit Visa ♪ 117 00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:47,972 ♪ Arts, arts, arts education ♪ 118 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:51,184 ♪ Marge paid with her debit Visa ♪ 119 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:59,108 MAN: Knock, knock! 120 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,152 Lisa, I'm Kurt, and this is Ethan. 121 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,446 We're the counselors- slash-musical directors- 122 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,031 slash-community outreach liaisons- 123 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,449 slash counselors. 124 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:07,784 KURT: You said counselors twice. 125 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,369 ETHAN: We do a lot of counseling. 126 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,204 Yeah, but we don't do twice as much counseling. 127 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,456 Well, don't question me in front of the children! 128 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,333 She can't hear us, we're stage whispering. 129 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,251 -I can hear you. -No, you can't. 130 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:20,213 Okay, Lisa, let's get your camp T-shirt. 131 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,423 ♪ All our camp T-shirts are medium ♪ 132 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,634 ♪ Well, I hope you wear medium, girl-- huh ♪ 133 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,177 We should also find you a meal plan. 134 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,596 ♪ Meal-planning lady ♪ 135 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:31,099 ♪ Plan my meals, baby ♪ 136 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,642 Do you guys always do that? 137 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,435 ♪ Do what? ♪ 138 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,895 Sing what you just said, 139 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,605 then play a little guitar riff? 140 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:40,483 -♪ No, we don't do that ♪ -♪ We never do that ♪ 141 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,318 ♪ Well, we sometimes do that ♪ 142 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,987 ♪ But very infrequently, lady ♪ 143 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,656 (vocal riff) 144 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,077 How 'bout that airline food, huh? 145 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,955 They should've called it "chicken cordon blech"! 146 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:56,374 (weary laugh) Another good one. 147 00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:00,503 Huh? Wait a minute, this doesn't look like Oslo. 148 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,004 Where are the wood-stave churches? 149 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,589 Historic Akershus Fortress? 150 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,383 You are not in Oslo. 151 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:08,511 You are in Holland... specifically, The Hague. 152 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,597 -Did you say a Hague? -I said The Hague. 153 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,974 -(shrieks) -What's going on? 154 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,726 -Where's my Nobel Prize? -There is no prize. 155 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,855 It was merely a ruse to get you to Europe, 156 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,815 so we could try you for the terrible crimes 157 00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,525 you've committed on this continent! 158 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,360 It was all a setup! 159 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,029 -You gotta read me the charges! -You dropped a monkey 160 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,781 -from the Eiffel Tower... -Uh-huh. 161 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,491 In Greece, you committed something called 162 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,827 -"aggravated hey-hey"... -Forgot about that one. 163 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,079 And here in Holland, you stole the entire act 164 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,540 of our beloved clown "Van Krusten." 165 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,751 U bestolen al mijn jokenchortles! 166 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,547 Gaah! Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! 167 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,467 One of the most important skills 168 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,219 a performer can learn is dealing with hecklers. 169 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,888 And... action! 170 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,890 Top of the evening, Officer Krupke. 171 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,641 Your dog's dead! 172 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,977 Um... that's not really a heckle. 173 00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,896 Right, yeah, right. 174 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,815 I've seen more life in the Wellington Botanic Gardens! 175 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,193 That is a heckle, but if you're not from New Zealand, 176 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,736 it loses some of its sting. 177 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,070 -How much? -Well, most of it. 178 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,739 Do you think they won't know the reference? 179 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,407 If they did know the Gardens, 180 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,494 then they would know that they're teeming with life. 181 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,872 So, what do you guys do when you're not camp counselors? 182 00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,916 We're highly successful artists. 183 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,375 And as artists, we live in Springfield's 184 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,669 -most artistic borough... -Sprooklyn. 185 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,588 (impressed murmurs) 186 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,715 We spend our days acting and painting... 187 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,176 -Dancing and sculpting... -Playing my Gibson... 188 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,761 Rehearsing my Ibsen. 189 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,346 Because, you see, young artists... 190 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,598 ♪ Artists are the people who hold up a mirror ♪ 191 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,768 ♪ Artists make society see its faults clearer ♪ 192 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,853 ♪ Artists help stamp out oppression and wars ♪ 193 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,064 ♪ And when we camp outdoors, we make the best s'mores ♪ 194 00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,066 Three layers, Mother Nature. 195 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,193 -Mmm... Mmm. -Yeah, yeah. 196 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:49,278 ♪ Artists end poverty with music and dance ♪ 197 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,280 ♪ Artists make art on the beaches of France ♪ 198 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,366 ♪ I never knew artists were all so amazing ♪ 199 00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:55,952 ♪ Excuse me while I talk to this cow that is grazing ♪ 200 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,539 ♪ I give art like you give milk ♪ 201 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,832 {\an8}(mooing) 202 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,751 ♪ Everyone listens when artists are talking ♪ 203 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,836 ♪ 'Cause artists are smarter than Mr. Stephen Hawking ♪ 204 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,881 (synthesized) Oh, yeah. Break it down for me, fellas. 205 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,967 (synthesized music) 206 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,345 (synthesized voice) A brief history of rhyme. 207 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,558 ♪ Do you think that I could be an artist in the city? ♪ 208 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,601 ♪ Hold on, Lisa, let me check with the committee ♪ 209 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,478 -So, what do you guys think? -HAWKING: Yes. 210 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,646 -(moos) -I agree. 211 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,982 ♪ Yes, Lisa, you could be an artist in the world ♪ 212 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,276 ♪ So move to the city when you're less itty-bitty, girl ♪ 213 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,403 ♪ To the gritty city when you're less itty-bitty, girl ♪ 214 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,738 ♪ The city's pretty gritty for an itty-bitty pretty girl ♪ 215 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,993 (gavel banging) 216 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,370 I am really, really sorry 217 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,581 for everything I've been charged with 218 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,000 and all the stuff you don't know about yet. 219 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,003 There is only one possible way to earn your freedom. 220 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,255 Oh, I get it. 221 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:53,259 Everyone's windmill needs a new blade now and then, right? 222 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,762 No! Our windmills are the envy of the world! 223 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,431 (low grunt) 224 00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,517 To win exoneration, you must prove that you have made 225 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,687 a singular contribution to Western culture. 226 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,771 Western, huh? 227 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,065 Did you ever see my "Wyatt Burp" sketch? 228 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,484 Everyone on my payroll says it's great. 229 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,112 I am not familiar with this "Wyatt Burp." 230 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,031 Oh, uh... then, uh, 231 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,033 let me do my "Dutch Oven" bit! 232 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,784 It's about other Dutchmen, not you. 233 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,995 (chuckles weakly) You know, uh... 234 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,709 Those clouds look like a casting director saying, 235 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,669 "You've got the part." 236 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,379 That cloud looks like legendary 237 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,757 Broadway lyricist Betty Comden. 238 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,593 I finally found the place I belong. 239 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,095 Your week's up. Time to go home! 240 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,431 (stunned gasp) It can't be Saturday already. 241 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,016 Monday was orientation. 242 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,934 Tuesday, we did mime. 243 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,686 Wednesday we did Mame. 244 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,730 Thursday we got attacked by bees. 245 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,398 Friday morning, Andrew Lloyd Webber 246 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,359 and Elaine Stritch helped us make wallets. 247 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,777 Friday evening, we performed 248 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,696 Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes. 249 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,573 Part One: Millennium Approaches. 250 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,700 -Part Two... -Perestroika? 251 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:00,868 That's right! 252 00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:02,536 Strike the set, pizza party, 253 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,080 Saturday morning, and then... (gasps) 254 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,998 No! 255 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,333 Good-bye, Lisa. 256 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,293 I'll miss you a lot, then a little, 257 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,961 then not too much. 258 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,672 (strumming folk chords) 259 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,674 Lisa, do you have to leave this minute? 260 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,133 No time. 261 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,220 I don't want to get stuck behind the joggers from the fat camp. 262 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:21,180 -(joggers panting) -(horns honking) 263 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,310 I can't go home. 264 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,313 Something happened this week that completely changed me. 265 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,817 Oh, you didn't see a boy lose his swim trunks, did you? 266 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:33,984 No. 267 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,737 I fell in love with theater, dance, and song. 268 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,073 We've got plenty of songs in the car, 269 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,742 by Maggie's favorite singer-- Roofi. 270 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,497 ♪ Brush your teeth, comb your hair ♪ 271 00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:49,083 ♪ Have an apple or a pear... ♪ 272 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,419 Bup-up! Safety locks. 273 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,920 -♪ Comb your hair ♪ -(straining) 274 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:55,339 ♪ Have an apple or a pear ♪ 275 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:58,384 ♪ Brush your teeth, comb your hair ♪ 276 00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,553 ♪ Have an apple or a pear ♪ 277 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,012 (groans) 278 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,098 ♪ Brush your teeth, comb your hair ♪ 279 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:06,434 ♪ Have an apple or a... ♪ 280 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,773 What's the matter, Lisa? 281 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,025 You're usually the first one out of this death trap. 282 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,737 Well, the combination of me leaving arts camp 283 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,989 and you driving on and off the shoulder 284 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,532 has made me a little ill. 285 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:24,368 Sorry. I guess I shouldn't be playing this driving game 286 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,536 while I'm driving. 287 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,371 (tires squealing) 288 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,623 (screaming) 289 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,376 Okay, maybe it won't be that bad. 290 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,463 Hey, Lisa, how was farts camp? 291 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,715 -(laughing) -Farts camp-- that's great. 292 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,884 Arts camp was lovely. 293 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:43,637 Did you paint a picture on toilet paper? 294 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,306 (laughing) 295 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,768 (playing "My Country 'Tis of Thee" slowly & off-key) 296 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:59,779 (playing up-tempo jazz solo) 297 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,365 Lisa Simpson, please stick 298 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,826 to the illegally Xeroxed sheet music. 299 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:09,205 But arts camp encouraged us to spread our wings and fly. 300 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,207 Lisa, I went to arts camp, too. 301 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,125 And all it does is fill your coconut 302 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:16,128 with banana-cream dreams that can never come true. 303 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,088 -How do you cope? -(whimpers) 304 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,425 Vanilla Wafers, plum wine, and take it from the top. 305 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:25,554 ♪ My country 'tis of thee ♪ 306 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:29,350 ♪ My job is misery ♪ 307 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:33,479 ♪ Life disappointed me ♪ 308 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:37,691 ♪ I'm 53 ♪ 309 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,531 We gotta find a clip that proves Krusty's made 310 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,407 a cultural contribution. 311 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,951 Let's see what we've got here. 312 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,078 (Bart reading) 313 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,720 Ah, here we are-- Krusty on The Electric Company. 314 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,722 Top to bottom, left to right, 315 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,600 readin' things is outta sight. 316 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,270 Speaking of out of sight, you gotta hide me. 317 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,814 I slept with the lighting director's wife, and-- 318 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,148 Ow! 319 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,484 (funky jazz playing) 320 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,330 (noisy chewing) 321 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,874 No appetite, honey? 322 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,543 It's just dinner conversation at arts camp 323 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,128 was a bit more stimulating. 324 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,548 One night we spoke only in lines from famous poems. 325 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,550 Because I could not stop for death, 326 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,719 he kindly stopped for me. 327 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,012 Emily Dickinson. 328 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,139 No, I was just describing my day. 329 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,099 (sighs) If you need me, 330 00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:55,603 I'll be upstairs saying good-bye to my dreams. 331 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,272 My dream is to be able to walk up stairs 332 00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:01,358 like an eight-year-old girl. (moans) 333 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,242 Maggie, your big sister is leaving 334 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,994 for a more artistic life. 335 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,495 I'll send for you when I'm famous. 336 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,540 We'll take the town by storm, like the Bronte sisters. 337 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:24,173 Oh, Maggie, don't ever turn two. 338 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:31,430 ("Rhapsody in Blue" playing) 339 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,945 (car alarms blaring) 340 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,950 Aha! 341 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,498 (panting) 342 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,377 (whimpers nervously) 343 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,297 Lisa Simpson. What are you doing here? 344 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,216 I came to share in the esteem 345 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,301 that the world bestows on its artists. 346 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,012 Uh, yeah. 347 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,264 Brrr! 348 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:17,101 -Boy, it sure is cold in here. -No heat. 349 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,936 It's, uh, part of our art. 350 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,271 -(two gunshots) -(man groaning) 351 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,356 More art. 352 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,233 Ethan, look what I stole from work. 353 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,567 Yes! 354 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:26,568 Tomatoes? 355 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,237 What kind of artists are you? 356 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,072 -Sandwich artists. -But we get to eat 357 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,907 any sandwiches we drop on the floor. 358 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,575 Unless we drop them on purpose. 359 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,494 They've got cameras on us at all times. 360 00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:37,746 Are you saying that arts camp was a lie? 361 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,248 Well, not the swimming. 362 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,959 Look, Lisa, I think it's time we can sang you the truth. 363 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:45,337 ♪ Artists are the least important people in the world ♪ 364 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:49,842 ♪ So whatever you do, don't be an artist, girl ♪ 365 00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:53,220 ♪ Artists make a living dressing up like a falafel ♪ 366 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:56,807 ♪ Artists shed a tear when they're called something awful ♪ 367 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,767 You ain't no falafel! 368 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,982 ♪ Artists sit in jail, on a lifetime hitch ♪ 369 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:08,652 ♪ The only way out is become a prison snitch ♪ 370 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:12,239 Oh, why did I sing that out loud? 371 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:17,161 ♪ What I don't get is why all the lies? ♪ 372 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,121 ♪ We wanted you to think ♪ 373 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:22,249 ♪ We were happening guys ♪ 374 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,333 (sniffles) 375 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,335 Well, philosophically, we're happening, 376 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,962 in the sense that we exist. 377 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,757 Not for long, if we don't drop more sandwiches. 378 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,176 Herschel Krustofsky, you stand accused 379 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,012 of the most heinous crimes known to clowndom. 380 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,181 Have you anything to say in your defense? 381 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:40,225 I'm sorry, Your Honor. I've led a worthless life. 382 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,353 I've been this way since I was a little... squirt! 383 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,272 -(groans) -Heh? Heh? 384 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:48,942 Come on, I thought you Euro-jerks loved unfunny comedy. 385 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,195 We don't put "Euro" in front of everything. 386 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:54,114 Euro-guards, take him away in Euro-cuffs. 387 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,618 Wait! Not so fast! 388 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,120 We found something to save Krusty! 389 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,122 And it's on this DVD. 390 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,874 Is it region one or region two? 391 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,959 Uh, what region is America? 392 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,461 -Region one. -Whoo-hoo! 393 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:10,047 We're region one! We're region one! 394 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,757 Well, this is region two, 395 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,592 so I'm afraid your exculpatory evidence 396 00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:15,803 will produce nothing more than an error message 397 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,471 stating "unreadable disc." 398 00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:19,056 If it please the court, 399 00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,642 my brother has a multi-region player. 400 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,394 I just pray he's not on a state-mandated 401 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,813 five-week vacation. 402 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,856 (ticking) 403 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,567 (lively band music playing) 404 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,820 (clanging) 405 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,574 Get this back to me by 6:00. 406 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:42,496 I'm having a Real Housewives of Atlanta season two party. 407 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:47,709 {\an8}My dressing room has regular potato chips, 408 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,087 but my contract specifically stated 409 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,922 half regular, half ruffled! 410 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,716 -Krusty, please... -Forget it! Forget it! 411 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,594 The gig's off! I ain't gonna play Sun City. 412 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,596 Vuvuzela me out of here. 413 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,351 (vuvuzelas blowing) 414 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:05,602 Three days later, 415 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,188 South Africa freed Nelson Mandela from prison. 416 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,692 Krusty the Klown, your selfishness has saved the world. 417 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,861 Case dismissed. 418 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,988 I'm just glad you all finally saw 419 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,490 what an amazing human being I am. 420 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,950 Now, where's the nearest place 421 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,077 I can score a little victory weed? 422 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,121 That would be the courthouse cafeteria. 423 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,247 I'll be right there. 424 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,792 Order me, um, a raspberry crepe and a brick of hash. 425 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,169 How do you smoke it? 426 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,880 I melt it and inject it into my eyelid. 427 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,464 Hey, you're all right. 428 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,966 (dog howling nearby) 429 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,510 -♪ Playing guitars ♪ -♪ Playing guitar, guitars ♪ 430 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,722 ♪ It's hard to sing while playing ♪ 431 00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:44,558 -♪ Guitars... ♪ -♪ Guitars ♪ 432 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,144 What's she doing with her hands? 433 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,729 It's called applause. 434 00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,731 I'm not sure I like it. 435 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,733 MARGE: Lisa? Are you in here? 436 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,235 Mom! Take me home! 437 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,403 (door creaks shut) 438 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,240 Hi. I'm Moe. 439 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:01,867 It's good that little kid left, 440 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,162 'cause this song is gonna get into a very dark area. 441 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:08,498 (playing minor-key chords) 442 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:12,920 Good-bye, guys. 443 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,796 I'll try again when I'm older. 444 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,673 Remember us for our exaggerations, 445 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,175 not our reality. 446 00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,510 And we gave you a little surprise for your trip back. 447 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,180 -Is it your laundry? -Okay, two surprises. 448 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,849 (tires squeal) 449 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,060 In a way, I think we learned more from her 450 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:30,020 -than she did from us. -Yeah, well, obviously, 451 00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:31,730 because we taught her nothing. 452 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,986 Lisa, look! 453 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,283 Oh... 454 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,743 Thanks, guys. 455 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,205 How did we get way up here? 456 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:49,706 Weren't we just back there? 457 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:52,251 The magic of art. 458 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,419 (jet engines whooshing) 459 00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,174 (door creaks, bell tinkles) 460 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,302 Sorry we're late. 461 00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,265 {\an8}-Oops. -(quietly) Nice one. 462 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,600 {\an8}♪ It's hard to sing while playing ♪ 463 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,728 {\an8}-♪ Guitars... ♪ -♪ Guitars ♪ 464 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,314 {\an8}♪ Artists are the people who hold up a mirror ♪ 465 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,441 {\an8}♪ Artists make society see its faults clearer ♪ 466 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,526 {\an8}♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ 467 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,319 {\an8}♪ Artists help stamp out oppression and war ♪ 468 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,697 {\an8}♪ And when we camp outdoors, we make the best s'mores ♪ 469 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,032 {\an8}♪ Three layers, Mother Nature ♪ 470 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,034 {\an8}-♪ Mmm, mmm ♪ -♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 471 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,911 {\an8}♪ Artists end poverty with music and dance ♪ 472 00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,788 {\an8}♪ Artists make art on the beaches of France ♪ 473 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,249 {\an8}LISA: ♪ I never knew artists were all so amazing ♪ 474 00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:34,835 {\an8}KURT: ♪ Excuse we while I talk to this cow that is grazing ♪ 475 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,586 {\an8}♪ I give art ♪ 476 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,171 {\an8}♪ Like you give milk ♪ 477 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,965 {\an8}(cow mooing) 478 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:41,341 {\an8}LISA: ♪ Do you think that I could be ♪ 479 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:42,467 {\an8}♪ An artist in the city? ♪ 480 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:45,012 {\an8}♪ Hold on, Lisa, let me check with the committee ♪ 481 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,805 {\an8}♪ Yes, Lisa, you can be an artist in the world ♪ 482 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:49,182 {\an8}♪ So move to the city when you're less itty-bitty, girl ♪ 483 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:51,643 {\an8}♪ The city's pretty gritty for an itty-bitty pretty girl ♪ 484 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,148 (cow moos) 485 00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:59,985 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay