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<i>-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>
-(Homer grunts)

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(crow caws)

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{\an8}(theme music playing)

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(gasps)

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(school bell ringing)

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(Barney belches)

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-(whistle blows)
-(yells)

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(beeping)

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(playing the blues)

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-Ooh!
-(gunfire)

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(tires screeching)

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-(horn honking)
-(Grampa shouts)

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D'oh!

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(tires screeching)

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(grunts)

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{\an8}-(eerie music plays)
-(zapping)

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{\an8}Mm-hmm...

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(thunderous rumbling)

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Ooh!

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(grunts)

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{\an8}(hisses)

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D'oh!

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{\an8}(electrical crackling)

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(thunderclap)

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(shuddering)

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{\an8}Oh, don't be scared, boys.
That's just the angels bowling.

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{\an8}(thunderous rumble)

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{\an8}(thunderous rumble)

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{\an8}(thunderous rumbling)

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{\an8}And so The Bloody Hangman,

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{\an8}his hair sticky with blood,

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{\an8}skittered along the cobblestones,

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{\an8}gunk dripping from his one good eye,

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{\an8}singing his evil land chantey.

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{\an8}<i>♪ Ker-shaw, ker-shew ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ I'm after you ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ With my bloody noose ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ Strong enough to hang ten moose ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ Ker-shaw, ker-shew ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ It's just a story ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ But it's really true ♪</i>

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{\an8}(shuddering)

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{\an8}MARGE: Homer, are you scaring those kids?

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{\an8}No, I'm not!

45
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{\an8}Yes, I am.

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{\an8}The Bloody Hangman walks
on his stubby bone feet

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{\an8}<i>through the plague-ridden</i>
<i>streets of London...</i>

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{\an8}You said it was Boston.

49
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{\an8}Did I?

50
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{\an8}Anyway, The Bloody Hangman
set to his gory work.

51
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{\an8}Bodies piled up like those
stackable plastic chairs.

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{\an8}Like those chairs in the music room?

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{\an8}Possibly!

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{\an8}(whimpers)

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{\an8}(cackles)

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{\an8}(gasps)

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{\an8}The Hangman's here!

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{\an8}<i>♪ Ker-shaw, ker-shew,</i>
<i>my lies have come true ♪</i>

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{\an8}(Homer gasping)

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{\an8}Huh. It's a pigeon.

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{\an8}Aw, the poor guy hurt his wing.

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{\an8}Hey, there's a number on him.

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{\an8}What is it?

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{\an8}(gasps) I bet it's a combination
to a safe!

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{\an8}Or, more likely,

66
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{\an8}the phone number of the bird's owner.

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{\an8}(dialing)

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{\an8}-Ask about the safe.
-(line ringing)

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{\an8}No, better yet,
act like you know about the safe.

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{\an8}<i>-MAN (on phone): Hello.</i>
-Yes, I believe I have

71
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{\an8}your pigeon, "Raymond Bird,"

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{\an8}and I need to know
how to return him to you.

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{\an8}He's a homing pigeon, girlie.
Why don't you let him fly home?

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{\an8}Unless you want to spring for a limo.

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{\an8}Yes, he could fly home,

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{\an8}except that he has a broken wing.

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{\an8}Perhaps you and your sarcasm

78
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{\an8}could come to Springfield
and retrieve him.

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{\an8}Are you kidding?

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{\an8}Wherever I go,
200 birds gotta come with me.

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{\an8}And they all want to sit
in the front seat with Daddy.

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{\an8}-(dial tone)
-(sighs)

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{\an8}Looks like you're going to have
to take care of him, Bart.

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{\an8}Me? Just what in my long,
sad history with frogs

85
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{\an8}makes you think I can take care of a bird?

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{\an8}(yelps) No, no...

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{\an8}Listen, don't tell anyone, but...

88
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{\an8}I can't stand pigeons!

89
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{\an8}They're like rats with wings!

90
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{\an8}He's crawling on your arm.

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{\an8}(gasps)

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{\an8}Oh...

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{\an8}Okay, maybe he's not so bad.

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{\an8}-(giggles)
-(retches)

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Oh! No! No! No! Get off! Get off! Get off!

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(music playing)

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Okay, Ray, your wing is healed.

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Go on. Live your life.

99
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Aw, come on, man.

100
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Admit it-- you knew this day would come.

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(coos)

102
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You and I have shared too many seed bells

103
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to just walk away from this.

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(coos)

105
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Go ahead, make fun of me.

106
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I lost my heart to a bird.

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(half-heartedly) Haw haw.

108
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Man, you were not into that. What's wrong?

109
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My mom ran off with my birthday clown.

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(coos)

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(staples clacking)

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All finished, boy.

113
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That coop looks a little flimsy.

114
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(scoffs) Flimsy?

115
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This gentle pat says different.

116
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D'oh!

117
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Now that you're officially my bird,

118
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let me fill you in
on the pecking order around here.

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The top dog is me, followed by
the top dog, the dog...

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{\an8}then the cat and then you.

121
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{\an8}But don't feel bad.
You're ahead of Milhouse.

122
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Come on, Bart. How long can you stay mad?

123
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I thought your racecar was a Transformer.

124
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Nothing's one thing anymore!

125
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Sorry, man, it's still too soon.

126
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No problem.
I'll just be right behind this fence,

127
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whenever you're ready to forgive me.

128
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Now?

129
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Do you forgive me now?

130
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Now? Now?

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I'm scared, Bart.

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<i>-(gunfire on TV)</i>
<i>-MAN (on TV): Bored by black-and-white</i>

133
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<i>footage of World War II?</i>

134
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<i>Recently uncovered color footage</i>

135
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,948
<i>will get you back in the game!</i>

136
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,575
<i>Order this DVD now,</i>

137
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<i>featuring dictator's commentary</i>
<i>by Hitler and Mussolini.</i>

138
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<i>And as a special bonus,</i>

139
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<i>the story of the carrier pigeon--</i>

140
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<i>the Allies' winged warrior.</i>

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General Patton,
this bird has a message for you.

142
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There's a bomb in my helmet.

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-(grunts)
-(explosion)

144
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Caesar can have his eagle,

145
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,058
Alexander the Great his griffin.

146
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I'll take the American fighting pigeon
any damn day!

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(patriotic music playing)

148
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,527
Wow, Ray, you have hidden talents!

149
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,988
Is he good at tic-tac-toe,
like that chicken I played,

150
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:10,781
lost to, and ate at the State Fair?

151
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,533
No, I was thinking we could use him

152
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to send messages back and forth.

153
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Way ahead of you.

154
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(chuckles)

155
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,962
Mom, why am I so repulsed by pigeons?

156
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It doesn't make any sense.

157
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I'm a member of People for the
Ethical Treatment of Amoebas,

158
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The League of Women Vultures,

159
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the NAAC Porcupines,

160
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,390
Kids for Squids, The ACL Unicorns,

161
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Clamnesty International and, uh...

162
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well, those are the best ones.

163
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:45,316
Sweetie, everyone has
an animal they can't stand.

164
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,318
Indiana Jones had snakes,

165
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,488
the Grizzly Man had grizzlies, and...

166
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:54,158
you know, I'm not crazy about opossums.

167
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-Really?
-Yeah.

168
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,287
Those creepy little claws... (shudders)

169
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,747
-(rustling)
-A possum!

170
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,332
(stifled groan)

171
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,417
Mom, it's just Maggie.

172
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,545
Oh! (chuckles)

173
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,339
Aww. Who's a possum?

174
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,091
You're a possum.

175
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,385
{\an8}-What's that?
-I'll tell you later.

176
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,428
{\an8}(groans)

177
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,934
465 divided by seven equals... Ooh!

178
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,520
What the...

179
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,021
(mutters)

180
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,273
(student coughs)

181
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,525
All right, I won't ask who sent this note

182
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:31,195
if I can use the bird
to send a note of my own.

183
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,530
As long as it means we're not learning.

184
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,031
Deal.

185
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:39,787
"Every day since we broke up
is the greatest day of my life."

186
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,665
Is that from Edna?

187
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,125
I feel for you, Seymour.

188
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:47,253
If you ever need a shoulder to lean on,
I'm here for you.

189
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,925
"P.S., Chalmers and I are doing it"?!

190
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,012
She was on the rebound from Willie.

191
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,263
(mutters)

192
00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,266
Ooh, a carrier pigeon.

193
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:03,936
Perhaps an update
on the Siege of Khartoum.

194
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,815
"Do a ballet dance without no clothes on."

195
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,401
Bad grammar, good advice.

196
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,486
(music playing)

197
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,240
(laughing)

198
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:27,501
I'll... catch up with you guys later.

199
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,340
(music playing)

200
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:50,983
(barking)

201
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,903
Hey, Homer, you ever think
about racing that bird?

202
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,404
You can race pigeons?

203
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,406
Hey, if it moves, you can bet on it.

204
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,408
What about the Detroit Lions?

205
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,868
Now, now, lay off Detroit.

206
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,079
Them people is living in <i>Mad Max </i>times.

207
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,705
But I was thinking
you could enter this bird

208
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:08,292
in the annual
Springfield to Shelbyville Birditarod.

209
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,585
Hmm?

210
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,837
Hmm.

211
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:15,591
Me, the patriarch
of a bird-racing dynasty.

212
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,093
(fanfare plays)

213
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,886
Congratulations, Homer.

214
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,930
Danica Patrick in my thoughts!

215
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,181
That's right, Homer.

216
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,558
I'm contractually obligated by my sponsors

217
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,769
to appear in random fans' fantasies.

218
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,354
Better not tell Marge about this.

219
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,439
You Brickyard bimbo!

220
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,108
(both grunting)

221
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,360
(screams)

222
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,113
(laughs) Ended that a little too soon.

223
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,365
(grunting)

224
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,659
What they don't suspect
is that I'm into this.

225
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,953
-(grunts)
-(laughs)

226
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:47,164
Hear that, boy?
You're gonna be a racing pigeon.

227
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,502
It's getting a little chilly.
I better put a blanket on Ray.

228
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:53,796
-(barks)
-Whoa! Dad, help!

229
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:54,797
Stupid dog!

230
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,465
Let go of that delicious bird!

231
00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,802
(grunting)

232
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,306
(gasps) No!

233
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,599
(grunts)

234
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,435
(gulps)

235
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,478
(burps)

236
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,855
Come on out, birdie!

237
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,314
Follow the sound of

238
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,233
(echoing) my voice!

239
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:19,739
It's just as well.

240
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,907
There's no such thing as a Birditarod.

241
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,744
It was just a trick
to scam you out of your house.

242
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,996
Good day.

243
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,715
{\an8}<i>(singing "Taps")</i>
<i>♪ Taps, taps, taps ♪</i>

244
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,967
{\an8}<i>♪ Taps, taps, taps ♪</i>

245
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:43,345
{\an8}<i>♪ Taps, taps, taps,</i>
<i>taps, taps, taps ♪</i>

246
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,765
{\an8}<i>♪ Taps, taps, taps ♪</i>

247
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,809
{\an8}<i>♪ Taps, taps, taps... ♪</i>

248
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,645
-What do you think, Mom?
-Well, ask your new father.

249
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,814
(horn honking)

250
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,650
You haven't earned the right
to say that to me.

251
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,278
Dearly beloved,
I'd like to open this service

252
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,572
with the words of Emily Dickinson--

253
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,033
"Hope is the thing with feathers..."

254
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,743
-(growls)
-Oh, stupid dog!

255
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,914
(groaning)

256
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,251
This funeral just got depressing.

257
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,128
Let's lighten up the mood, boys.

258
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,338
(snapping rhythmically)

259
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,924
<i>♪ Gray skies are gonna clear up ♪</i>

260
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,009
<i>♪ Put on a happy face ♪</i>

261
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,553
<i>♪ Brush off the clouds and cheer up ♪</i>

262
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,181
<i>♪ Put on a happy face ♪</i>

263
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:30,267
Thanks. That song does
make me feel a little better.

264
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,102
It's from <i>Bye Bye Birdie.</i>

265
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,397
(sobbing)

266
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,613
You really don't get it.

267
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,365
(panting)

268
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,830
<i>CHOIR (on TV):</i>
<i>♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show ♪</i>

269
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,418
<i>Your crimes against the animals</i>

270
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,087
have gone before the jury.

271
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,090
We probably should deliberate,
but we're kind of in a hurry.

272
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,347
I never met a dog I didn't hate.
(chuckles)

273
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,934
Ah, yes.

274
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,687
A little hair of the dog that bit me.

275
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,030
I hope you've learned something here.

276
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,116
(groans)

277
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,122
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson,
Bart has been very sad lately.

278
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,248
We know.

279
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,333
And we're going to do something about it.

280
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,836
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Please don't do anything.

281
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,212
Not only have his grades gone up,

282
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,132
but the enthusiasm
has gone out of his pranks.

283
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,509
-I mean, take a look at this.
-(Marge groans)

284
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,303
(chuckles) If anything, I was wondering

285
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,721
if you could make him sadder.

286
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,056
How can you say a thing like that?

287
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,934
Marge, listen to the man.
He pays Bart's salary.

288
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,185
No, he doesn't.

289
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,354
Why can't you support my gibberish?

290
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,231
I'd do it if you were stupid.

291
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,859
Marge, Homer,
this marital discord is perfect.

292
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:05,070
But please, save it for home
where your son can see it.

293
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,322
(groans) Oh!

294
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,741
(clock ticking)

295
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:13,579
Bart, Santa's Little Helper, come on in.

296
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:16,332
A shrink that takes kids and pets?

297
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,501
Hey, in this economy,
I'll even remove tattoos.

298
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,670
Even my tramp stamp?

299
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,340
I got the idea from a show
where people regret these.

300
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,635
Homie, why don't you study these?

301
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,554
(laughs)

302
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,391
(sobbing)

303
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,187
(gasping)

304
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,813
Oh, baby.

305
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,440
Well, what do you know!

306
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,733
Oh, come on!

307
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:45,194
So, Marge,

308
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,321
what I understand
from our phone conversation

309
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:50,157
is you have a very poor service provider.

310
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,744
I bought it because
Catherine Zeta-Jones told me to.

311
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:56,080
What a fool I was.

312
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,457
Secondly, there's been
a major breach of trust

313
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,085
between Bart and Santa's Little Helper.

314
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,504
Well, he shouldn't kill birds.
It's not right.

315
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:06,048
That is correct,
according to human standards.

316
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:10,427
But all a dog can do is follow
his animal inclinations, right?

317
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,596
-I guess.
-So, Bart,

318
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,932
as the one with the larger brain...

319
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,558
Nicely done, boy.

320
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,353
...maybe you can find it
in your heart to forgive him.

321
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,899
(growling)

322
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,776
See? He's a questionable character.

323
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,611
He used to hang around
racetracks, you know.

324
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,780
Bart, could you wait outside?

325
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,533
(growling)

326
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,163
It's not going to work.
You have to give the dog away.

327
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,581
Are you sure?

328
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,333
As sure as I am that I'll be billing you

329
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,751
for that torn magazine.

330
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,253
Oh, that's pretty sure.

331
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,671
Subscription rate, right?

332
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:46,839
Newsstand.

333
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,966
-D'oh.
-(groans)

334
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,724
Why is <i>it</i> coming with us?

335
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,726
And for once, I'm not talking about Lisa.

336
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,603
It's amazing how I can feel sorry for you

337
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,564
and hate you at the same time.

338
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:06,066
I'm sure there's a German word for it.

339
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,904
We're bringing the dog because
we've found him a new home

340
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:14,825
at a farm upstate
where he can run and play all day.

341
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:16,493
You're gonna put him down?

342
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,788
No! For once,
a pet going to a farm upstate

343
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:23,250
really is going to a farm upstate.

344
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,835
What about all the other pets you told us

345
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,253
went to a farm upstate?

346
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:29,673
Hmm. Backyard, backyard,
toilet, ocean, don't know,

347
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:33,385
backyard, Flanders' mailbox,
Lenny's freezer, tire fire.

348
00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:39,600
This is where we're ditching the dog?

349
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,852
Well, "ditching" is a harsh word.

350
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,605
Enough chitchat.
Time for Operation Dog Dump.

351
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,565
It wasn't really a lot of chitchat.

352
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,150
It was still too much.

353
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,407
We'll take good care of your dog.

354
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,700
I'm sure you will,

355
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,369
because you take such good care
of your ostriches.

356
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,497
(humming) D'oh.

357
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,165
Maybe we should get going.

358
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:08,170
Bart, sweetie,
would you like to say good-bye?

359
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,216
Well, boy, I guess this is it.

360
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,343
We've shared a lot of great memories,

361
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,637
like the time we got
our picture in the paper

362
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,014
with the caption "Who's walking who?"

363
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,600
I mailed them the answer,
but they never printed it.

364
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:22,643
(sniffles)

365
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,854
But it's not my fault
you're leaving, it's yours.

366
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,440
Because you should never,
ever kill a bird!

367
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,608
Ever!

368
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,777
I'd like a moment to myself.

369
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,656
(cell phone ringing)

370
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:38,450
Ooh, unknown caller!

371
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,160
-(squawks)
-Hey!

372
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,625
All right, you, give me back my phone
and nobody gets hurt!

373
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,961
(grunts)
You said nobody gets hurt!

374
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,921
Those were your exact words!

375
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:53,465
(grunting)

376
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,175
(Bart whimpers)

377
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,762
(squawking)

378
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,222
(grunting)

379
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,474
(screaming)

380
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:09,148
So, Lisa, do you want
an ostrich feather centerpiece?

381
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,482
Not really.

382
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,317
Well, we've got to buy something.

383
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,236
-(ostrich squawking)
-(Bart screaming)

384
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,321
Help!

385
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,823
(barking)

386
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,491
-Kill the bird!
-(growling)

387
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,369
Never kill a bird! Never kill a bird!

388
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:23,954
(whimpering)

389
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:32,671
Why, you little...

390
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,756
(pained squawking)

391
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,306
Pa! You got to see this!

392
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,767
Oh, right, I-I forgot.

393
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,020
(pained squawking)

394
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:52,191
{\an8}(groans) Oh.

395
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,864
-More Oxycontin Candy, sweetie?
-Mm-hmm.

396
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,077
(crunching)

397
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,999
Well, boy, I guess I owe you an apology.

398
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,001
Who's a bird-eating monster?

399
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:14,338
You are! You are! Yes, you are.

400
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,131
Aw.

401
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,884
Well, Bart learned a lesson,
and most important of all,

402
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:21,720
we don't have to stop and pick up dinner.

403
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,805
You do for me.

404
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,353
-(shouting)
-(choking)

405
00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:31,647
(tires screeching)

406
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,235
(Marge groans)

407
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,819
<i>(Homer choking)</i>

408
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,490
<i>HOMER: Help me!</i>

409
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,909
(theme music playing)

410
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:23,740
Shh!

411
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,955
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay