﻿1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,214
<i>-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>
-(machine gun firing)

2
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,299
{\an8}(theme music playing)

3
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,511
(gasps)

4
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,810
(school bell ringing)

5
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,022
(burps)

6
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,108
-(whistle blows)
-(yells)

7
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,406
(beeping)

8
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,830
(playing the blues)

9
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,543
(playing the blues)

10
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(tires screeching)

11
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D'oh!

12
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,425
-(tires screeching)
-(grunts)

13
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,548
Meep, meep.

14
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:35,804
Meep, meep.

15
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OTTO: Hey, this was one
of the planets on <i>Star Trek.</i>

16
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:43,061
It's so hot I want to wedgie the sun.

17
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,979
I wet my arm-pants.

18
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,024
{\an8}Children, I hope we all have
a pleasant and orderly day

19
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,400
{\an8}here at "Satan's Anvil."

20
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,070
{\an8}No one knows why
the early settlers called it that,

21
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,571
{\an8}and I suppose we never will.

22
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{\an8}Now remember to stay hydrated, and...

23
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{\an8}-(rattling)
-Rattlesnake!

24
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,369
{\an8}(laughing)

25
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,955
{\an8}Ha! You fall for that
every year, Seymour.

26
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,874
{\an8}And the one year I didn't,
I was bitten by an actual rattlesnake.

27
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,794
{\an8}Yes, if I recall,
you took a sick day you did not have.

28
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,546
{\an8}I was going to lose my foot.

29
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{\an8}-Of which you have two.
-Mm...

30
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,299
{\an8}Ah!

31
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{\an8}(humming)

32
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,889
{\an8}Greetings, desert dwellers.

33
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,057
{\an8}Git out.

34
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,685
{\an8}The second we let
one trespasser on our land,

35
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,520
{\an8}-then every goldang...
-(squeaking)

36
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{\an8}Aw, for crying out loud,

37
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,232
{\an8}It's like Grand Central Station
around here.

38
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,985
{\an8}Now, Delbert, be nice.
He's just a boy.

39
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:35,655
{\an8}Oh, sure, first they send a boy,
then a prairie dog,

40
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,907
{\an8}then they send in them black helicopters.

41
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{\an8}(rifles cocking)

42
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{\an8}<i>Sir, you have won a National</i>
<i>Endowment For The Arts grant</i>

43
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{\an8}<i>for your scrap-metal sculptures.</i>

44
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:53,173
{\an8}You'll have to put that check
in my cold dead hands.

45
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,094
Hmm.

46
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,640
{\an8}This park's environment
has been preserved

47
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,517
{\an8}free of invasive species,

48
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,020
{\an8}except for one-- rock climbers.

49
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,357
{\an8}Uh, my jaw is not a toe-hold.

50
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,734
{\an8}But if I reach your summit,

51
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,777
{\an8}I'll have climbed rangers
on seven continents.

52
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:15,862
{\an8}Fine.

53
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,406
{\an8}(grunting)

54
00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,782
{\an8}(loud snap)

55
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,618
{\an8}Oh, I sprained my ankle!

56
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,494
{\an8}(sobbing) I'm gonna die up here.

57
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,080
{\an8}Hang on, I'm coming up for you.

58
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,416
{\an8}Hurry-- before it gets dark.

59
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:31,294
{\an8}This next move is tricky. Yeah.

60
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{\an8}(grunts)

61
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,174
{\an8}(hums)

62
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,926
{\an8}Oh, my God.

63
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,886
{\an8}The legends are true.

64
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,262
{\an8}Did you find gold?

65
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:44,724
{\an8}Better-- the prospectors
left naughty French postcards.

66
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,684
{\an8}Whoa, mama!

67
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,145
{\an8}Bart, this is fool's porn.

68
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,356
{\an8}I'll take it off your hands.

69
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,732
<i>C'est si bon.</i>

70
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,360
<i>Si bon. Si bon!</i>

71
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And... remorse.

72
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,595
(bird squawking)

73
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:26,724
{\an8}"While beautiful, the desert
also harbors hidden dangers--

74
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:30,311
{\an8}cacti, poisonous snakes,
and most deadly of all..."

75
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,814
{\an8}(grunts) Scorpions!

76
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,315
{\an8}(whimpering)

77
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,317
{\an8}(yelling)

78
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,569
{\an8}(gasps, curious grunt)

79
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,990
{\an8}They calm down when they're near
the Springfield Silvertongues.

80
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,909
{\an8}Hmm.

81
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,786
{\an8}(gasps)
Now they're aggressive again.

82
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,579
{\an8}I'm sure there's a correlation,

83
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:52,041
{\an8}but could there be a... causation?!

84
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,175
{\an8}These flowers saved me
from a terrible fate--

85
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,720
{\an8}not getting an "A" on
my next science project.

86
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,097
{\an8}-(laughs)
-Lisa, we have to go.

87
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,599
{\an8}Milhouse found a hippie skeleton
and he's freaking out.

88
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,143
Never get off the bus.

89
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,603
Never get off the bus!

90
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,943
{\an8}Check it out!
Something pathetic's going on.

91
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,404
{\an8}You can't throw me out!
I'm not dead yet!

92
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,739
{\an8}That's the deal, man!

93
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,616
{\an8}I'm sorry, Abe,
but you're just too cranky.

94
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,910
{\an8}I got a right to be cranky.

95
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:31,039
{\an8}The food stinks
and the TV's only got one channel.

96
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,708
{\an8}-That's a fish tank.
-You're a fish tank.

97
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,752
{\an8}That is so hurtful.

98
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,212
{\an8}(sobbing) I wish I was a fish tank.

99
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:41,090
{\an8}Then I could filter out his nasty words.

100
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,134
{\an8}He called me a fish tank...

101
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,886
{\an8}Just go, Abe.

102
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,471
That doesn't seem fair--

103
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,973
they won't let him escape,
then they kick him out.

104
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,516
I wonder where he'll go.

105
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,935
Either the grave
or somewhere much worse.

106
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,105
(sputtering)
Sour cream and chives?

107
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,274
In my day, all we put on potatoes

108
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,860
was pine needles and barber hair.

109
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,445
I hate this century.

110
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:06,908
Okay, we're going to take turns
having Grampa as a roommate.

111
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,368
Who wants to go first?

112
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,619
(high-pitched) Me! Me!

113
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,706
I want him every night,
forever and ever.

114
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,125
'Cause I love my-- (muffled)

115
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,296
Nose in a funny book, how rude.

116
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,256
Ain't you never heard of conversation?

117
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,925
(sighs) Fine.

118
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,718
-How's it going?
-Terrible.

119
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,971
I got this new roommate,
and he won't stop yapping.

120
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,100
Here's an experiment for you--

121
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,144
find a man who wants
to marry a lady poindexter.

122
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,604
(laughs)

123
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,272
MARGE: Homie...

124
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,024
Hey, you call that making love?

125
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,902
MARGE: Homer, I told you
he wouldn't sleep through it.

126
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,488
In my day,
women didn't make a sound.

127
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,660
LISA: This calls for some
Springfield Silvertongue.

128
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,083
Dad, look.

129
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,918
This essence of a wildflower

130
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,546
makes these angry scorpions docile.

131
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,005
That's great, honey.

132
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,550
If you were a boy, you'd be a scientist.

133
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,051
GRAMPA: Back off, you mutt.

134
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,387
Or I'll make dog-head soup out of you.

135
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:14,142
Hmm, if it works on nasty scorpions,

136
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:18,771
then maybe... it'll work on nasty stains.

137
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,443
It does.

138
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,862
(grunts)

139
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,991
And there's something else
it might be good for.

140
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:33,286
(noisy chewing and swallowing)

141
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,081
Why are you guys eating so fast?

142
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,250
Trying to get out of here
before Grampa wakes up.

143
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,878
-(footsteps thudding)
-(Grampa muttering)

144
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,590
-That's him!
-Mom, quick, our lunches!

145
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,425
Go! Save yourselves!

146
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,843
(gasps)

147
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,554
Good morning, family.

148
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,306
It's such a beautiful day,

149
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:56,184
I thought I'd take
my little friend here for a walk.

150
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,269
Abe, are you feeling all right?

151
00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,395
Never better.

152
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,273
The sun is shining,
there's a spring in my slippers,

153
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,567
and my wonderful son woke me up

154
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,278
with a delicious cup of coffee.

155
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,113
Hmm...

156
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:13,868
Dad, is there anything unusual
in Grampa's coffee?

157
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,286
Uh, you look tense.

158
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,206
Let's discuss this over a cup
of Grampa's coffee.

159
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,626
(shudders giddily)

160
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,217
Here you go, champ.

161
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,135
Go buy yourself
some rock-and-roll records.

162
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,012
To the antique store.

163
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,847
(humming tune)

164
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,849
Now, what can I do for you?

165
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,518
Eat something green?

166
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,353
Vote for someone brown?

167
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,648
Dad, I know what you did.

168
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,024
-(Homer screams)
-(doorknob rattling)

169
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,443
-And I locked the back door.
-HOMER: D'oh!

170
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,072
...and that's why you're acting
so sweet and kind.

171
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,533
Because Dad drugged you.

172
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,830
-Oh, thank you! Thank you!
-(laughing)

173
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,749
Your kisses feel like raw liver.

174
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,001
But it's not real happiness.

175
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,754
It's just because of an untested drug.

176
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,674
So what?
There are no guarantees in life.

177
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:12,009
We don't know if this...

178
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,594
knife is safe.

179
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,556
Turns out it's not.

180
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,058
The point is, when I'm cranky,

181
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,227
nobody likes me, sweet pea.

182
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,563
Let me live as a happy man

183
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,190
for my remaining 30 years.

184
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,110
Come on, come on,
make with the laffy juice.

185
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,654
I want to take Grampa
to have his belly button pierced.

186
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,406
I could hang my Purple Heart from it.

187
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:37,285
<i>♪ Ya-da-dee-dee-dee,</i>
<i>la-da-da-da-da-da-da... ♪</i>

188
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,121
<i>-♪ Ya-da-dee-dee... ♪</i>
<i>-♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do... ♪</i>

189
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,376
It was wrong of me to play goddess.

190
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:06,439
Everything everyone just said
is either obvious or wrong.

191
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,608
Homer, do something about your dad.

192
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,277
He's casting a pall
over this grim dungeon full of losers.

193
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,778
Pfft! Dungeon?!

194
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,322
We can leave anytime we want.

195
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,534
Homer, why don't you just make
some more of the serum yourself?

196
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,621
Oh, because Lisa won't tell me
what flower it's from.

197
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,372
Excuse me...

198
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,625
My name is Walter Hotenhoffer,

199
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,044
and I'm in the pharmaceutical business.

200
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,670
I was wondering when that guy

201
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,547
was gonna state his name and occupation.

202
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,673
Quiet!

203
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,800
Sir, has your daughter found a drug

204
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:38,304
that renders old people
tolerable to us normals?

205
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,723
Yeah, but Lisa won't tell me
how to make it.

206
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,141
Lisa is irrelevant.

207
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,643
You'd better elaborate.

208
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,103
All I need is one drop of extract,

209
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:49,106
and I can synthesize the drug
at my plant.

210
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,692
But where do I find that drop?

211
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,154
<i>Nein... Nein...</i>

212
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:58,824
<i>Nein... Nein... </i>Aha!

213
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,787
Not so fast, Fritz.

214
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:05,206
Before you waltz off with
my grampa grease,

215
00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:09,418
I want to know--
what did you do during the war?

216
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,338
World War II? I wasn't born yet.

217
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:16,258
Funny how many Germans
say that these days.

218
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,346
(humming tune)

219
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,765
Hmm?

220
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,850
(grunts)

221
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:29,522
(pants)

222
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:31,524
(Bart hums)

223
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,943
(Homer groans)

224
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,736
WALTER: From that one droplet,

225
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,948
I have synthesized
50 different compounds.

226
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,451
Please identify the one
that is <i>ausgezeichnet.</i>

227
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,745
Nothing. Nothing.

228
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:47,289
Can't feel my fingers.
Feel 'em too much.

229
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,625
Erection. Derection.

230
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,544
I smell music.

231
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,170
Oh, this'll never work.

232
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,965
But when you're doing it
with people you love,

233
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,759
you just can't help smiling.

234
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,720
-(both gasp)
<i>-Jawohl.</i>

235
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,681
-I've isolated the molecule.
-(laughs) Nerd.

236
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,975
Now we test him.

237
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,853
"How do you feel about the high salaries

238
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,355
of today's baseball players?"

239
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,233
Oh, don't get me started on that one.

240
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:17,069
They're just plain better
than the greats of my day.

241
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:20,781
God bless them,
and their refusal to learn English.

242
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,450
(laughs)

243
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,828
Huh?
This one didn't make me feel anything.

244
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,331
(howls) D'oh!

245
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,461
These are my "Suitcase Suzies,"

246
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:36,088
who will use their beauty
and free giveaways

247
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,091
to make sure our drug is prescribed.

248
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,927
Cool. Are they robots?

249
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,764
No, robots can develop human feelings.

250
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,017
We're graduates of Arizona State.

251
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,436
We scoop them up by the sorority.

252
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:54,690
Uh... this is the nerd fraternity.

253
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,193
(groans) Drop them in research.

254
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,779
Nice.

255
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,532
Thank you for the tour of your factory,
Mr. Wonka.

256
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,368
I am not Willy Wonka.

257
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,538
No, no. You're Augustus Gloop,
the fat German boy.

258
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,958
<i>Ja,</i> it is true, I am Gloop.

259
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,796
Being stuck in that tube
changed me in so many ways.

260
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,299
Gentlemen, we've been doing
a lot of funny things today,

261
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,551
but now I must be scary.

262
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,305
-Go ahead.
-Here is the prototype of our pill.

263
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,725
Grampapa, no one but you
should take this drug

264
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,561
until it has been through
rigorous trials.

265
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,231
Be careful--
if the wrong hands got hold of it,

266
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:39,401
a fortune could be made
by selling this drug on the black market.

267
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,071
Hmm... wrong hands, eh?

268
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,240
That's your cue, boys.

269
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,783
(smug chuckling)

270
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:51,038
You sell drugs.
Why can't you dress like that?

271
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,707
Because I use them, too, idiot.

272
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,510
MRS. SKINNER: No wonder
you've still got pimples at your age.

273
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,512
You've got all this candy in your desk.

274
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,014
They're Tums for my acid reflux.

275
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,933
Even your acid wants out of you.

276
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,601
(knocking)

277
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,105
(whispers)
I got something to stuff in that old bag.

278
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,273
(grunts)

279
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,862
Accursed tide.

280
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,364
Flee from my wrath.

281
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:29,034
No! I've been moistened!
(groans)

282
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,412
(whispers) I've got some junk
to put a smile on that corpse.

283
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,255
(Mr. Burns chuckles)

284
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,136
(chuckles) Don't player hate.

285
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,596
I'm just a businessboy.

286
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,181
All right, Bart.
What are you up to now?

287
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,199
Now that's what I call a fishing trip.

288
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,951
(gasps)
That's what I was gonna call it.

289
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,411
(laughing)

290
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:16,040
Wait, I can't go in there
grinning like a Swede on payday.

291
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,042
It'll rile up poor Lisa

292
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,961
if she knows I'm still
popping that smiley-pill.

293
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,963
Oh, yeah-- you better "grump it up."

294
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,757
(clearing throat)

295
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,677
(mumbling)

296
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478
Three dollars for a cup of coffee?!

297
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:41,023
In my day it cost you a dime,
and they gave you back a quarter.

298
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,275
And another thing-- the, um...

299
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:46,195
It's okay, Grampa.
You don't have to act grumpy.

300
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,490
I know you're taking the drug,
and I don't mind, 'cause you're happy.

301
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,659
Oh! Thanks, sweetie.

302
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,452
I'm sorry I was so stubborn.

303
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,204
I hope you're not mad.

304
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,705
Oh, I ain't mad,

305
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,582
and I never will be again,

306
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:02,127
thanks to your wonderful, wonderful...

307
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,796
(all screaming)

308
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,214
Let me finish--

309
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,676
thanks to your wonderful, wonderful drug.

310
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,313
(gasps)
It happened to the scorpions, too.

311
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,732
The flower essence
must have the side effect

312
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,485
of lubricating the eye sockets
to the point of popping.

313
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,696
More saline, please.

314
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,407
At some point,
I think we should see a doctor.

315
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,576
No, it's cool--
it's like we've got our own monster.

316
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,453
Your grandfather is not a monster.

317
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,748
Now, let's chain him in the basement
until the circus comes to town.

318
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,000
Sounds good.

319
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,503
(sighs) At least no one else
has taken this drug.

320
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,796
(loud gulp)

321
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,132
Bart, why are you tugging on your collar?

322
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,300
It better be tonsillitis.

323
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,011
Well, actually...

324
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:56,181
I may have accidentally traded
a few of those pills for money...

325
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,559
-(all gasping)
-...which I may have already spent,

326
00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:01,145
ironically, on these novelty eyeglasses.

327
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,105
Howdy, handsome.

328
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,524
Look!

329
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:15,034
Ooh! (laughs)

330
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,167
Ooh, yeah, yeah.
Who loves Mommy's eyeballs?

331
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,461
Oh, there's a kitty
gonna sleep good tonight.

332
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,046
Yes, you are.

333
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,219
So, I guess we're all
in the same boat, huh?

334
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,387
<i>Nein, nein.</i>

335
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,307
My boat is me and hundreds of lawyers.

336
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,726
Your boat has you and a lot of people

337
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,478
with their eyes falling out.

338
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,355
Walter, when a man
puts something on a Frisbee,

339
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,149
he should stand by it.

340
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,692
{\an8}See?

341
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,985
{\an8}Walter: You are right.

342
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:54,073
As always,
the Frisbee is the mirror to the soul.

343
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,658
Mr. Hotenhoffer, there's a mob outside.

344
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,161
An angry mob?

345
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,746
No, a cheerful mob.

346
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:03,791
(groans)
I'd like to have just one day

347
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,418
when I don't put a gun to my head.

348
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:07,669
(cheering)

349
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,341
Now, I ain't much for speeches...

350
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,010
(popping)

351
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,430
But we sure do appreciate
what you done for us,

352
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:22,434
and, uh, we were just hoping
we could get more of that drug.

353
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,521
Lots more.

354
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,022
(cheering)

355
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,775
Those poor googly-eyed fools.

356
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,985
I cannot exploit them like this.

357
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,947
I will have to be content
exploiting their fear

358
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,366
of losing hair and penis.

359
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,202
I will destroy the drug.

360
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,037
-(crowd jeering)
-What? Well, I never...

361
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,665
Walter, let's not be so hasty.

362
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:47,584
Who would begrudge them
a few years of shambling,

363
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,837
dope-fogged, into the grave?

364
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,549
Besides, our generation's
got everything under control.

365
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,676
Now, if you'll excuse me,

366
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,636
I was supposed to be drunk an hour ago.

367
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,263
To Moe's.

368
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,891
Flat tires?

369
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,476
No problem.

370
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,354
Oh!

371
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:09,731
Homer, use your head.
Just buy a new car.

372
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,067
Great idea, but I don't have any money.

373
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,736
You could take out a loan
with your house as collateral.

374
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,698
And I wouldn't have to pay it
back for three more years.

375
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,908
What are the odds
of that much time happening?

376
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,660
Pretty close to zero, I'd say.

377
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,162
Problem solved.

378
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,956
Generation awesome does it again.

379
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:28,500
-Boo-ya!
-Oh, yes!

380
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,586
All right, you googly-eyed geezers,

381
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,839
turn up your hearing aids--
I've got something to say.

382
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,507
(feedback squealing)

383
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,384
Together, we survived the Depression,

384
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:40,179
won a few wars,
and put a man on the moon.

385
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,223
In fact, the only mistake
our generation made

386
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,726
was creating that generation.

387
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,019
(cheering and laughing)

388
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,563
If we want to set
these bumblers straight,

389
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,733
it's gonna take all the crankiness
we can muster.

390
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,944
So put down those pills,
pop in your eyeballs,

391
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,780
and "upside-down" them smiles.

392
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,782
(cheering)

393
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,784
Let's do as he says.

394
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,288
(chuckles)

395
00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:17,466
Wow, their "can do"

396
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:21,303
will bail out our "won't try" every time.

397
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,181
So I guess the lesson here is...

398
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,975
If you go on a field trip,
don't break off from the group.

399
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,187
And if you are a fat little boy
in a chocolate factory,

400
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,481
never try to drink from the river.

401
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,483
The tube. My God.

402
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,069
Every night I see the tube.

403
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,992
(theme music playing)

404
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,745
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!

405
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:34,960
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay

