1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,462 (Futurama theme plays) 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,425 (The Simpsons theme plays) 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,553 (gasps) 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,810 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,022 (Barney belches) 6 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,150 -(whistle blows) -(yells) 7 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,406 (beeping) 8 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,830 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:41,750 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,253 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,048 D'oh! 12 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,425 -(tires screeching) -(grunts) 13 00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:09,194 Okay, going down the checklist-- 14 00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:11,196 Feu allumé. Oui. 15 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,364 Ballon gonflé. Oui. 16 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,076 {\an8}Now enlevez le ballast! 17 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,416 (car alarms wailing) 18 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,752 Commencing aerial inspection of the plant. 19 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:28,004 Unflattering graffito... 20 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,423 {\an8}(humming) 21 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,258 {\an8}...neutralized. 22 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,636 (gasps) Gadzooks! 23 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,638 The one hazard this balloon cannot negotiate... 24 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,389 a gentle breeze! (shouts) 25 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:39,766 (popping) 26 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,602 Help! Curtail my ascent! Curtail it, I say! 27 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,437 {\an8}Hey, Mr. Burns needs our help! 28 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,981 {\an8}Let's just shoot at him and see what happens. 29 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,733 {\an8}Good thing I went hunting this morning. 30 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,110 {\an8}Bagged me an elk. 31 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,570 {\an8}-Hey, where'd it go? -(elk bellows) 32 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,365 {\an8}Huh! I wonder if that's the same elk. 33 00:01:58,409 --> 00:01:59,828 {\an8}Oh, I can't do it. 34 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,621 {\an8}A balloon saved one of my arteries. 35 00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:03,748 {\an8}It doesn't seem right to kill his cousin. 36 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,792 {\an8}Looks like it's up to me. 37 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,002 {\an8}Let's see, target at two o'clock. 38 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,754 {\an8}Adjust for wind. 39 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:10,797 {\an8}Just shoot already. 40 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,757 {\an8}But I haven't finished my rituals yet. 41 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,008 Mwah! 42 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,635 Ah. Mmm. 43 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,554 (grunts) 44 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:18,930 (gun cocks) 45 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:22,433 BURNS: Help! I'm wafting on a zephyr! 46 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:24,936 {\an8}(geese honking) 47 00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:26,855 {\an8}-(gunshot) -(squawking) 48 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,489 {\an8}That's just sick. 49 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,908 {\an8}-(all laughing) -You stink! 50 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,326 {\an8}Nice shooting, Annie Oakley! 51 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:44,414 {\an8}If you were a biathlete, I'd say "stick to skiing." 52 00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,680 {\an8}Simpson, your sharpened-shooting has saved my life. 53 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,182 {\an8}Name your reward. 54 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,350 {\an8}Anything, just name it. 55 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,436 {\an8}All your money and all your stuff. 56 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,189 {\an8}Lower and likelier. 57 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,274 {\an8}Uh, Super Bowl tickets? 58 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:12,901 {\an8}Playoff tickets? 59 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,694 {\an8}Regular season, bobblehead day? 60 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,196 {\an8}Nothing-head day! 61 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,950 {\an8}Wow! I know I laid down in front of bulldozers 62 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,161 {\an8}to stop this stadium from being built, 63 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:26,289 {\an8}but I have to admit, it's pretty sweet. 64 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,416 It's so fancy-- 65 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:31,711 sushi bars, a 60-screen movie theater, 66 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,880 Museum of Tolerance. 67 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,718 -Hm. Oh, man. -Oh, geez. That made you think. 68 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,470 They, even have a day spa 69 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,847 staffed by former All-Pro linemen. 70 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,433 {\an8}You know, I wouldn't have to do this 71 00:03:45,516 --> 00:03:49,270 {\an8}if I hadn't bought a Ferrari a day for 22 seasons. 72 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,688 {\an8}Flip over. 73 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,732 {\an8}I once hosted Saturday Night Live. 74 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,525 {\an8}Once again, ladies and gentlemen, 75 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,945 {\an8}-Matchbox 20. -Who dat? 76 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,405 Ooh, they even have a zoo... 77 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,991 featuring all the NFL mascots. 78 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,705 (animals roaring, screeching) 79 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,290 (dolphin chittering) 80 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,627 This place even has its own arts district 81 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,755 with football-hating intellectuals! 82 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:20,260 {\an8}(scoffs) We'll stay for one inning, then we can go. 83 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,637 {\an8}Well, this has been great. 84 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,889 {\an8}We should get home soon-- the game's gonna be starting. 85 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,766 {\an8}Homer, the game is right here. 86 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:27,934 {\an8}(audience cheering) 87 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,937 {\an8}(chuckles) Oh, that's right! 88 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,356 {\an8}I hope you kids are enjoying yourself today, 89 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:36,317 {\an8}because you and your children will be paying for this place 90 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,861 {\an8}long after the team moves to another city. 91 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,196 (audience cheering) 92 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,451 (cheering) 93 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,497 {\an8}Ooh, the Fan Cam! 94 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,208 ♪ Everybody dance now ♪ 95 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,793 (music playing) 96 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,968 ♪ Give me the music ♪ 97 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,805 ♪ Give me the music ♪ 98 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,641 ♪ Everybody dance now ♪ 99 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,643 ♪ Do, do, everybody dance now ♪ 100 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,062 ♪ Do, do-do-do ♪ 101 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,981 {\an8}AUDIENCE: Boo! 102 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:17,650 Come on, party pooper, bust a move. 103 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,236 Nah. This song's a little bossy for me. 104 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,739 Aw, come on, sourpuss. 105 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,365 (exclaims) 106 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,284 -Tickle-tickle! -(laughs) Stop it! 107 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,536 -Tickle-tickle-too! -Cut it out! 108 00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:31,581 -Tickle-tickle-who-wants-a-pickle?! -What does that mean?! 109 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,291 Homie, maybe you should stop. 110 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,668 We've talked about the gray zone. 111 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,504 Marge, he's laughing. That means he's happy. 112 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,590 Has the Joker taught you nothing? 113 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,176 -Ticky, ticky, ticky! -(giggling) Quit it! 114 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,344 (laughter) 115 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,637 Knock it off! Stop it! 116 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,681 Dad, this isn't funny! 117 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:55,063 {\an8}The child has wetted his trousers! 118 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,065 (laughter) 119 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,278 Dad, how could you do that? 120 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,989 The whole audience saw me pee my pants! 121 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,367 Son, I'm really, really sorry. 122 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,951 Oh, I don't know if I can-- 123 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,411 Whoo-- 124 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,913 ever make it up to you. 125 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,456 I-- Whoo!-- 126 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,375 but I sincerely-- 127 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,584 Whoo! 128 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,545 Homer, just because everyone else is doing the wave 129 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,422 doesn't mean you have to. 130 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,758 No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it. 131 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,343 Whoo! 132 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:27,261 Whoo! 133 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,519 Taking pity on the boy, 134 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,187 the operators of Springfield Stadium 135 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,189 opened the stadium's retractable roof 136 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,191 in an attempt to dry his pants. 137 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,901 Unfortunately, the stain was picked up 138 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,737 by Russian spy satellites, and President Dmitry Medvedev 139 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,407 has taken the pants-wetting as a sign of American weakness. 140 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,909 A Russian flotilla has just entered New York harb... 141 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:53,704 Oh. Bart's never gonna forgive me for humiliating him. 142 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,248 And I wouldn't blame him. 143 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,625 You've destroyed our son's self-esteem. 144 00:06:57,708 --> 00:06:59,168 Well, it was your idea 145 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,212 to give him self-esteem in the first place. 146 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,922 MARGE: I told you you should've stopped the tickling. 147 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,257 HOMER: Now I have to work overtime... 148 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,675 -MARGE: What?! -...just to counteract 149 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:06,884 the self-confidence... 150 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,762 Hey, Bart, I hear the forecast is for showers... 151 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,055 in your pants! 152 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,849 I'm on an European vacation, 153 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,059 but "you're a-peein'" everywhere! 154 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,394 "Oui, oui!" 155 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,438 (grunting) 156 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:23,734 Oh. Why did I agree to moderate this teleconference? 157 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:26,279 You can't let this go without using it 158 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,781 as a chance to improve your fathering. 159 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,158 Well, of course, 160 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:33,453 I would love to be a more sensitive father. 161 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,579 You know that. 162 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:35,997 That's great! 163 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,333 Then you won't mind me enrolling you in a fathering class. 164 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,294 I'd like to see you thumb through 165 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:44,088 an extension school catalog and find one. 166 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,299 -(shrieks) -Here's one right here. 167 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,426 Please, Marge, no! 168 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,845 The other negligent dads will make fun of me. 169 00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:52,513 They're so cliquey. 170 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:55,349 You'll be fine. You always are. 171 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:59,312 Oh, I miss my friends from drunk driving school. 172 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:02,273 (sobbing) They were so cool. 173 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:03,733 (continues sobbing) 174 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,902 (phone beeping) 175 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,696 (line ringing) 176 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,908 Homer, welcome to Fresh Start, 177 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,868 a fathering enrichment class. 178 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,703 My name is Dr. Zander. 179 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:18,247 Last week we assigned everyone to keep a fathering journal. 180 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,333 Gerald, would you like to share your entries? 181 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,084 Absolutely, Dr. Zander. 182 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,838 "Monday-- left work early to see Derek's baseball game. 183 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,882 When Derek saw me in the stands, 184 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,384 his smile was worth a million dollars. 185 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,637 Tuesday-- lost a million-dollar account 186 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,472 because I left work early Monday." 187 00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,516 That's great journaling. Comments? 188 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:41,812 Uh, Homer, it says here you've been a father for ten years. 189 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,357 -What has that taught you? -Well, for one thing, 190 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,776 you're never really ready to be a father. 191 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,611 But... oh, you know, the other day, 192 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,196 Bart, the little dickens, 193 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,073 said I had an elephant butt. 194 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:55,451 So anyway, I'm strangling him, and I said to Bart... 195 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,246 Wait. H-Hold on a moment. You were strangling your son? 196 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,539 Yeah, strangling. 197 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,249 I mean, it's not the only tool 198 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,417 in my parenting toolbox, but... (chuckles) 199 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,753 it's the sharpest. (chuckling) 200 00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,338 Right? 201 00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:09,840 Anyway, I said, "Bart..." 202 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,551 You're actually serious? 203 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,844 You physically lay your hands on your boy's neck? 204 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:17,598 Well, yeah, I... I guess it's just how I was raised. 205 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,268 Look at these grades! They're a disgrace! 206 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,769 No TV for a week! 207 00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,271 Why, you little... 208 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,773 (gagging, grunting) 209 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:33,614 So, are those butter cookies for everybody, or... 210 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,450 Um... why don't we stop there for today, 211 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,703 and I'll see you next week. 212 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,872 (whispering loudly) Who do you have next period? 213 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,793 (humming) 214 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:46,836 Hey, Doc. 215 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,212 (mouth full) Where is everybody? 216 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,630 I told them not to come. 217 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:52,133 Why didn't you tell me not to come? 218 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:55,344 Homer, to emphasize the seriousness of this situation, 219 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,306 I'm going to turn my chair around backwards. 220 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,434 -(screams) -I feel... 221 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,102 in this situation, 222 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:06,856 the only option is a risky and radical treatment. 223 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,941 Homer, meet Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. 224 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:12,069 Dr. Zander and I play pick-up basketball on the weekend. 225 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,739 And when he told me what you do to your son, 226 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:18,659 I was so disturbed I only scored 172 points. 227 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,245 I had 86 assists. 228 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:24,498 But today he's here to assist me with you. 229 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,712 What... wh-what are you doing? 230 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,797 Homer, it's time you understood what it feels like 231 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,300 to be young, small, and terrified. 232 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,178 No, Doc, please. 233 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:38,679 I'm just a little boy. 234 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,805 Why, you little... 235 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,808 (Homer grunting, choking) 236 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,686 -(grunting, choking continues) -I don't want to hurt him, Doc. 237 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,313 You have a good heart, Kareem. 238 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,273 Which is why you're the only Laker I could trust 239 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,733 with this task. 240 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,777 (grunting, choking) 241 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,446 Uh, not a good time to water the plants? 242 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,656 No, it's fine. 243 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,658 (grunting, choking) 244 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,661 Hey, Kareem, what do you think about today's selfish players? 245 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,496 (gagging) 246 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,331 Ball-hogging, tattooed... 247 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:08,876 ♪ No more Mr. Nice Guy ♪ 248 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:12,838 ♪ No more Mr. Cle-e-e-ean ♪ 249 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,591 ♪ No more Mr. Nice Guy ♪ 250 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:20,388 ♪ They say, he sick, he's obsce-e-e-ene ♪ 251 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,056 (music continues) 252 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,271 (gagging) 253 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:33,442 Dr. Zander, you made me see my life through Bart's neck, 254 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,569 and I swear, I will never, 255 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,030 ever strangle my boy again. 256 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,366 I believe we've made excellent progress here today, 257 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,535 and after another few years of twice-weekly sessions, 258 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:45,329 -we can really... -Um, I, uh, lied 259 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,123 about having health insurance. 260 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,375 And you're cured. 261 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,882 -Hello, boy. -Homer. 262 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,801 I want you to know I'm cured. 263 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,636 Good for you. No more drinking? 264 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,972 (chuckling) Oh, son. I can't quit drinking 265 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,349 any more than I could quit being a man. 266 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,561 Oh. Now it feels like morning. 267 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:11,605 What I am cured of is the blind rage that has soured 268 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,650 our otherwise storybook relationship. 269 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,027 Go ahead, just try to provoke me. 270 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,655 (sighs) I just got up, man. 271 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,742 Oh, come on. Bust your daddy's chops. 272 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,744 (sighs) Fine. 273 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:27,538 (angry grunts) 274 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,915 Why, you little... I'll teach you to... 275 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,418 -I'm in your head, man. -(screams) 276 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,296 Why, you... (grunts) I'm gonna... (grunts) 277 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,839 Maybe this time... 278 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,174 (grunts, groans) 279 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,009 (pained grunts) 280 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,971 Aw. My son's first stroke. 281 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,306 Say... 282 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:49,185 (slurring) "Cheese." 283 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,437 Can't hurt the boy. Can't hurt the boy. 284 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,272 (yells) What the... 285 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,107 Boy, get down from there. 286 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,610 Okay. First, I'll send down my shoes. 287 00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,487 All right. (screams) 288 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,780 Why, you little... 289 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,950 Oh, come on. Now you're a tree? 290 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,452 (gagging) 291 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:08,954 (sobbing) 292 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,915 (laughing mischievously) 293 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:14,585 (whistling) 294 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,007 (panicked shouts) 295 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,009 Bart Simpson. 296 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,345 What would your father say if he knew what you were doing? 297 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:28,766 He'd say, "I'm a grown man who's scared of my own son." 298 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,684 I find that hard to believe. 299 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,269 Oh, yeah? Look. 300 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,023 How many more, sir? 301 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,359 Fill the board, then wash my car. 302 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,444 These are my keys. 303 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,446 -What was that? -I-I said, 304 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:46,534 "My keister is ready for a whooping, sir." 305 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,118 (sighs) 306 00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,835 (Willie grunts) 307 00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,839 (Chief Wiggum groans) 308 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,262 No. No. I'm just a kid. 309 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,847 Leave me alone. 310 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,934 BART: It's "A-B-C, one, two, three!" 311 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,561 It's the easiest song in the world! 312 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,854 (Homer sobbing) 313 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,526 You think you're better than the Great Simpsini? 314 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,486 -(grunting) -Well, you're not. 315 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,905 What are you gonna do, write a book about me? 316 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,699 -(grunts) -You couldn't get in the door 317 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:30,035 of Random House if your name was Bennett Cerf III. 318 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,913 -(grunting) -One, two, three, cry. 319 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,040 -One, two, three, cry. -(grunts) 320 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,084 How is that water? Wet like your tears? 321 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,044 (grunting) 322 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,840 Precious, is that you? 323 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,091 Yes, Mama. 324 00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,593 You think you're so pretty. 325 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,011 Where's my lotto ticket? 326 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,512 I forgot, Mama. 327 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,723 (screams) 328 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,100 And don't you come back without it! 329 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,102 You hear me?! 330 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,854 Hurry up! 331 00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:58,856 (whimpers, panting) 332 00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,943 (Homer cries out) 333 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:08,616 I don't see many more movie roles for a girl like you. 334 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,577 Not unless George Lucas needs another Death Star. 335 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:16,081 No! Stop! No Star Wars parodies! 336 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,918 -Homer! Homer! -Oh! What?! 337 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,336 (panting) 338 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,589 The school called and said Bart is out of control. 339 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,008 I think we may need some therapy for him. 340 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,301 Oh, that's ridiculous. 341 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,930 How could two people from the same family need therapy? 342 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,765 Hmm. 343 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,434 (wind whistling) 344 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,524 Dr. Zander? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? 345 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:43,525 Anyone? 346 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,027 Hmm. 347 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:49,239 Hmm. Hmm. 348 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,787 Dr. Zander, what happened? 349 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,455 Oh, it's the damn economy. 350 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,165 When it went south, the first thing people 351 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,751 stopped spending money on was expensive therapists. 352 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,503 So, we all live here now, 353 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:05,422 along with the other unemployed luxury professionals-- 354 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,758 wedding planners, personal shoppers, 355 00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,760 aromatherapists, 356 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:12,012 -high-end caterers. -Mushroom cap? 357 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,056 Those are pieces of broken glass. 358 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,891 Well, I'll pass that on to the chef. 359 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,186 I'll also pass on pieces of your face to my monkeys. 360 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,146 Look, now my son needs your help. 361 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,191 -How much you got on you? -Uh... $23. 362 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,819 And there's a can of beans in my car. 363 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:27,987 Ugh! 364 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,407 After a PhD, lectures on cruises, 365 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,284 monthly column in Springfield Magazine... 366 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,329 Are there franks in the beans? 367 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,124 (grunting) 368 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,042 So whatever you did to my husband, 369 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,003 it was too effective. 370 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,337 Mm, mm, yes. 371 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,423 One of the most common complaints about therapy. 372 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,259 And now my son is a bully. Can you fix him? 373 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,928 Probably, but we should discuss it in your car. 374 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,305 The sommeliers are coming. 375 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,809 -Buttery finish. -Great year for Zin. 376 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,478 This is what I drink at home. 377 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:02,771 (Marge yelps) 378 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,693 Homer, Bart, 379 00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:10,195 this weekend in the wilderness should repair 380 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,781 the shattered bond between the two of you. 381 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,868 I find that in a natural setting... 382 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,453 (rattling) 383 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,121 -(laughs) -(whimpering) 384 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,290 Very funny, Bart. 385 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,333 That's not the snake, is it? 386 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,378 Sorry, little friend. 387 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,714 Slither back to your natural element. 388 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,550 (screams, whimpers) 389 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,719 Now, Bart, I want you to guide your father 390 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,554 safely through these cacti. 391 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,474 -Then what do we win? -A better relationship. 392 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,393 -Oh! -Okay, go straight. 393 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,853 -(yells) -Three steps right. 394 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:43,937 (whimpering) 395 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,647 -Two to the left. -(shrieks) 396 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,441 Now, Bart, you do understand 397 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,443 you're supposed to avoid the cacti. 398 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:51,361 {\an8}Sure do. I'm just bad at counting. 399 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,072 {\an8}-Two to the right. -(shrieks) 400 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,615 -Backwards one. -Oh! (gasping) 401 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,366 -Diagonal two. -(yells) 402 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,870 -Now do-se-do. -(Homer screams rhythmically) 403 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,790 While your father and brother are doing 404 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,875 some manly bonding in the woods, 405 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:08,128 I thought we could do a little bonding of our own. 406 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:11,924 We'll do each other's nails, make some brownie sundaes 407 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:15,719 and watch the four saddest horse movies I could find... 408 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,471 (Marge reading titles) 409 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:24,978 And the fourth one has a title so sad I can't even say it. 410 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,814 Really? Can I see it? 411 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:30,442 (sobbing) 412 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,947 GIRL (on TV): Oh, Beauty, 413 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,282 I don't need money or parents 414 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,952 or eyesight when I've got you. 415 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:42,204 (whinnying) 416 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,874 (gasps) Oh, I always forget about this part. 417 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,377 (sniffles, cries) 418 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,965 Oh. I don't know. 419 00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:56,051 There's something about this noose I just don't like. 420 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,804 Homer, desperate times call for desperate measures. 421 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,265 If you hop down from that limb, I assure you, 422 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,142 Bart will cut you down. 423 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,185 I don't know. 424 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,563 Keep your neck inside the rope at all times! 425 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,481 (sighs) 426 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,109 (choking) 427 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:13,694 Well? Anything?! 428 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,237 Can't look. Texting. 429 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,656 -(cell phone chiming) -Ooh, a text. 430 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:20,576 Let's see. Text message for I.M.A. Wiener. 431 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,537 As you all can see, I.M.A. Wiener-- 432 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,665 -(laughter) -I see it, Moe. 433 00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,750 Why, you! When I... 434 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:34,298 When... I... get ahold... of you, I... 435 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,925 Oh, damn it, I typed an "F" and not a "D." 436 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,969 Uh, delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. 437 00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:41,847 Oh, crap, I just donated $20 to Haiti! 438 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,515 (laughing) 439 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,270 Bart, I'm trying to get you to feel something for your father! 440 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,105 I feel something for him. 441 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,357 Here it comes. (burps) 442 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,194 -Why you little... -(choking) 443 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,529 Oh, this is a tough neck! 444 00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:00,032 Oh, it's so strong! Like an oak. 445 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,576 You see? You see how that boy pushes your buttons? 446 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:03,994 We'll talk when he's dead! 447 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:05,370 -(grunting) -(choking) 448 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,206 Just break already! 449 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,374 (choking) 450 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,590 (sighs) Thanks, Dad. 451 00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,259 Son, you and I are gonna be closer than ever 452 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:23,305 as we spend the rest of our lives suing that therapist. 453 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,225 Sue me for what? My home in a hollowed-out tree? 454 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,851 (contented sigh) 455 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,436 Pretty sweet, eh, boy? 456 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:32,981 You know, I was skeptical, but I guess therapy works. 457 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:36,235 (theme music playing) 458 00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:46,245 {\an8}♪ He said, no more Mr. Nice Guy ♪ 459 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:50,123 {\an8}♪ No more Mr. Cle-e-e-ean ♪ 460 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,918 {\an8}♪ No more Mr. Nice Guy ♪ 461 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,212 {\an8}♪ He said, you're sick ♪ 462 00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:57,798 {\an8}♪ You're obsce-e-e-ene ♪ 463 00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:01,635 {\an8}♪ No more Mr. Nice Guy ♪ 464 00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:05,264 {\an8}♪ No more Mr. Cle-e-e-ean ♪ 465 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:08,058 {\an8}♪ No more Mr. Nice Guy ♪ 466 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,143 {\an8}♪ He said, you're sick ♪ 467 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:12,938 {\an8}♪ You're obsce-e-e-ene ♪ 468 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:16,650 {\an8}♪ E-e-e-ene, E-e-e-ene ♪ 469 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,152 {\an8}♪ Whoo ♪ 470 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,740 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 471 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,955 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay