1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:06,171 It was this or a Porsche! 2 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,610 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,250 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,520 (Barney belches) 5 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,655 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,692 (yells) 7 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:32,998 (playing the blues) 8 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,702 (tires screech) 9 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,506 D'oh! 10 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,341 (grunts) 11 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,357 I love your low prices, 12 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,325 but why did these weddings get canceled? 13 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,828 Returned because of a fight over the prenup. 14 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:03,796 Aw... 15 00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:07,299 That one there-- bride's dad made a racist toast. 16 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,333 (clicking tongue) 17 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,235 She wanted a cake with blue rosettes, 18 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,237 he slept with her sister. 19 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:16,308 Cake, will you do me the honor of making my stomach 20 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:19,144 the happiest bag of acid in the world? 21 00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:20,179 You will?! 22 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,549 (horns honking) 23 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,118 Time for a shortcut. 24 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,719 (tires screeching) 25 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,221 Woo-hoo! 26 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,794 Dad, the cake! 27 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,602 Dad, our lives! 28 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,537 Fine. 29 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,342 (bleating) 30 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:59,084 Uh-oh, they've got the right-of-way! 31 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,790 Morning. Guten Tag. 32 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,161 (all sigh) 33 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,296 (humming) 34 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,565 (tapping) 35 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,870 Who's alone in the vehicle? 36 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,173 Maggie's locked in! 37 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,174 With the keys! 38 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,242 HOMER: Oh! 39 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:24,510 What's wrong? 40 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,644 Uh, first the good news. 41 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,881 Two of your kids are not locked in the car. 42 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,315 Maggie! 43 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,618 (screams) 44 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,219 (sighs) 45 00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,687 (yawns) 46 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,222 We've got to get her out of there! 47 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:40,392 Babies aren't supposed to sleep on their stomach on a cake. 48 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:45,464 Okay, okay, the spare key is somewhere in here. 49 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,801 What's this key with the plastic skull for? 50 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:54,373 That's the key to my box with the real skull. 51 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,440 (both gasp) 52 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,743 Maggie! 53 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,284 So how come we have all these other keys? 54 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:09,354 Well, if you live long enough, you start to accumulate things. 55 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,223 This is from a gas station men's room. 56 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:14,927 They put the block of wood on it so you don't walk away with it. 57 00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:17,563 These are from a key party we went to 58 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,831 before we realized what a key party was. 59 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,901 We got out of there just in time. 60 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,737 (disco music playing) 61 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,772 Aw, come on. 62 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,307 You'll miss all the sex. 63 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:31,410 Uh, this key opens your parrot cage. 64 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:32,844 Rules are rules. 65 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:33,545 (groans) 66 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,548 And these keys are from all my jobs. 67 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,516 MARGE: At some point, 68 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,718 we should try to return these keys 69 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,220 to their rightful owners. 70 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,287 Are you nuts? 71 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:43,488 Let's have some fun! 72 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,456 Homer, stop him! 73 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,392 Stop who, Marge? Be specific. 74 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,995 Time to get my mischief on. 75 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:50,729 (chuckles) 76 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:53,799 Let's start with a little federal crime. 77 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,867 (laughs) 78 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:56,935 Oh, thank God! 79 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:59,605 I can get back the angry letter I wrote to my boss. 80 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:03,675 I really didn't want that subscription to The Atlantic. 81 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,846 Yes, and this patent application for a robot dog 82 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,481 could use a bit more tinkering. 83 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,618 With the biting and the chewing on my tuchus. 84 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:13,852 Oh, the laser eyes! 85 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,721 Why did I give it to him? 86 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:16,755 What the...? 87 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,924 I tried to do bad and I did good. 88 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:19,958 Haw-haw. 89 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,027 Keys to the Duff Brewery? 90 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,362 Where'd you get those? 91 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:26,832 Well, it might have been the time when... 92 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:35,007 Duffman doesn't need Duff to have fun. 93 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,842 Seriously, you got any beer? No. 94 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:40,879 I heard drowning makes you feel like you're drunk. 95 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,619 Or maybe I just found them on the ground. 96 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,622 (whistle blows) 97 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:56,395 Wow! The guys at the AA meeting will never believe this. 98 00:04:56,397 --> 00:05:00,999 Oh, my God, there's the fire brewer. 99 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,737 The beech wood ager! 100 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,940 The rat filter! 101 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,842 (rats squeaking) 102 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,045 The Duff blimp! 103 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:16,481 Oh, how I'd love to drive that thing! 104 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,351 (gasps) 105 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,552 Really, Duff blimp? 106 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,354 You really want me to? 107 00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,558 Oh, what the hell. 108 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,759 Life is made to be lived. 109 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,362 I've been buttoned down too long! 110 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,029 (laughs) 111 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,798 (laughs) Hey, Homer, 112 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,100 I really had you going there, huh? 113 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:35,934 Homer? 114 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,070 When we see each other again, 115 00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,739 you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby! 116 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,942 And these are from sardine cans your father opened. 117 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:47,045 He saved them out of sentimental value. 118 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,547 Oh. 119 00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,615 I'll return this to the school. 120 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,418 Well, Maggie, one key left for us. 121 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:57,556 Hmm. This looks like it's from a windup toy. 122 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,660 (humming) 123 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:06,932 Hmm, I hope I haven't stumbled onto my anniversary present. 124 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,842 (toy farting) 125 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,844 (phone ringing) 126 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,145 Homer? Oh. 127 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:23,648 Could you please turn down those blimp engines 128 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,751 and tell me where you are?! 129 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,419 (farting) 130 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,020 I'll call you back. 131 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,489 Come back, Pooter Toot! 132 00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:33,992 People might be offended by your mild tastelessness! 133 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:34,926 (chuckles) 134 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,596 Oh, isn't that a cute little choo-choo... 135 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:38,764 (screams) 136 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:39,831 (sighs): Oh. 137 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,133 Daddy, did you make 138 00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:42,567 that devil's music? 139 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,802 It wasn't me, boys. 140 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,003 It was the train. 141 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,505 What train, Daddy? 142 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,672 It-It was right there. 143 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,175 With the... and the... you know, the... 144 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:53,678 Jesus cries blood every time you lie. 145 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,747 (groans): Oh. 146 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,817 Hey, Lisa. 147 00:06:58,819 --> 00:06:59,818 What you doing? 148 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,887 Returning this lost key to Principal Skinner. 149 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,689 But that key could open any door in the school. 150 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:05,757 Aren't you curious? 151 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,459 Well, maybe a little. 152 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,994 But I'd never break the rules. 153 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,862 Little Miss Play-It-Safe. 154 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:11,797 Have a nice day. 155 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,966 Just like yesterday and the day before that 156 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:19,171 and the day before that and the day before that 157 00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:23,442 and the day before that and the day before that... 158 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,477 (over P.A.): ...and the day before that 159 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,711 and the day before that... 160 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,714 SKINNER: Nelson, either tell them what they're having for lunch 161 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:30,982 or get off the P.A. 162 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,050 NELSON: Sloppy Joes! 163 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,019 ...and the day before that... 164 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,053 Tater tots! 165 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,055 ...and the day before that... 166 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:41,526 Ooh, banned books! 167 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:42,194 (gasps) 168 00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,229 Band books! 169 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:44,963 (gasps) 170 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,066 Could this key open...? 171 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,702 Get thee behind me Namuche! 172 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,071 That's the Buddhist Satan. 173 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,207 Let's give it a shot. 174 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,547 No problem; just some cobwebs. 175 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,685 (screams) 176 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:12,991 (gasps) 177 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,160 I've discovered a mystery wrapped in a riddle 178 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,563 in the basement of a lousy school! 179 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,101 It's like five classrooms in one. 180 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,705 A science room, student lounge, mathnasium. 181 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,239 (gasps) 182 00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:29,307 An experimental theater all set for 183 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,577 a production of Samuel Beckett's Endgame. 184 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,578 (gasps) 185 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,715 A pull-down map of... 186 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,883 nothing? 187 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,185 And this ruler is unmarked, 188 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:43,655 and the tabs on this pop-up book have no effect. 189 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,058 And this tooth has no dentin! 190 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,760 Everything is fake. 191 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,829 What is going on?! 192 00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:55,100 Mother, it is my birthday, not our anniversary. 193 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,134 Principal Skinner, 194 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:59,571 do you know anything about a bizarre hidden classroom 195 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:00,672 underneath the school? 196 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,073 Mother, I have work to do. 197 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:05,010 Well, it's work if they pay you. 198 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,711 They say they're going to. 199 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:10,649 Lisa, I know every moldy inch of this unaccredited school, 200 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:14,219 but I have never seen such a thing as you describe. 201 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,320 It's real! 202 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:16,221 I can show you. 203 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,024 Well, I have a very busy schedule, but... 204 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,892 Myra, cancel all my appointments. 205 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,128 You're just pressing a Mento. 206 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,897 Very true. 207 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,999 Okay, let's go. 208 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:35,273 Hmm. Is it drinking and driving if you're flying a blimp? 209 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,243 Maybe I can find the answer by texting. 210 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,344 Yo, Lenny, 211 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:43,214 do you know anything about 212 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:48,019 driving a blimp while intoxica... 213 00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,995 What was that? 214 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,297 (toy farting) 215 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,233 Uh-oh. 216 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,769 (farting continues) 217 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,939 This train is mocking our intestinal distress! 218 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,941 I don't think I've ever felt this irritable. 219 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,344 Excuse me. Has anyone seen my toy? 220 00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:15,213 You mean your windup hate crime? 221 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,348 Ooh! 222 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,248 (panting) 223 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:22,387 And now, without further ado, I give you this. 224 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,856 (camera clicks) 225 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,759 (gasps): What?! 226 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,160 "One Thousand and One 227 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:32,130 Vulgar Marching Band Formations." 228 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,098 (scoffs) 229 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,401 Truly these band books deserve to be banned. 230 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,336 I swear, there was a room here. 231 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,905 Lisa, Lisa, go home, relax. 232 00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:42,307 Try to do some kid things. 233 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,775 You know, with a ball or something. 234 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:47,012 Or decorate your sneakers with a Magic-brand marker. 235 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,847 (groans): Oh. 236 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:49,881 (camera clicks) 237 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:55,887 (laughs) 238 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,157 Maybe this key will be the key 239 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,227 to putting the "key" in anarchy. 240 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:06,164 Last place anybody would expect to see a moon: the sky. 241 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,132 (chuckles) 242 00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,968 (people gasping) 243 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,269 Ow! 244 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,037 (howling) 245 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,139 MATRONS: Why, we never! 246 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,206 (sighs) 247 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,475 Good-bye, cruel world! 248 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,443 (grunts) 249 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,145 I'm alive! 250 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,280 And you're my naked fairy-god-boy. 251 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,949 Aw, geez, I hope no one heard you say that. 252 00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,886 And so, to this naked fairy-god-boy, 253 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,688 I present the key to the city. 254 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:34,192 Now do us a favor and lower your pants for the picture. 255 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,060 Oh! 256 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,961 Lisa Simpson may be onto us. 257 00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,763 I oversee 14 schools, Seymour, 258 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:41,700 and for some reason, I always find myself talking to you 259 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:42,967 about one of the Simpsons kids! 260 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,769 Now... Oh, my God, there she is. 261 00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,838 Act natural. Act natural! 262 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,274 Oh. Oh, hello, student. 263 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,342 Um, we were just standing here 264 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,912 discussing how we have no, uh, secrets. 265 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,280 And nothing to hide. 266 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,816 I'll just take that key back now. 267 00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,818 What? No! Give me that! 268 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,352 (both grunting) 269 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,420 Ah! 270 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:06,057 Backing away from something, Lisa? 271 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:10,028 (Homer screaming) 272 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,331 I've got to get back in that room, 273 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,500 but Skinner took away the only key. 274 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:18,470 What would Nancy Drew do? 275 00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:19,471 Oh, don't you worry. 276 00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:22,474 I'll get my friends The Hardy Boys to help. 277 00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:23,441 (gasps) 278 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,010 Extra! Read all about it! 279 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:29,881 Lisa's a liar! Pants on fire! 280 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,816 (Lisa groans) 281 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,953 (siren wailing) 282 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:38,723 Pull over before somebody gets hurt! 283 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,828 HOMER: So long, suckers! 284 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,798 Oh! Oh, the Zoomanity! 285 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,269 Aha! 286 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,973 Hi, my name is Lisa Simpson. 287 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,776 Ah, yes, the Simpsons: a notch and a bump, 288 00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,177 two notches and a bump. 289 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,044 That's us. 290 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:03,114 Do you think you could reproduce the key in this photo? 291 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,884 Yeah, but it's gonna cost ya. 292 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:06,518 How much? 293 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,853 $1.85. If you want 294 00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,155 that little plastic ring around it, 295 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:13,057 now that's gonna cost you another seven cents. 296 00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:15,226 Keep the change. 297 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,795 Yes, ma'am! 298 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:17,896 (school bell rings) 299 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,098 (kids chattering excitedly) 300 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:29,941 How did this bookshelf get here so fast? 301 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,010 I bet it's shoddy. 302 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:37,148 What do you think of that, Nancy Drew? 303 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,485 Geez, they're dropping like flies. 304 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:50,628 "The children are on bus 23." 305 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,063 (screams) 306 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,533 (gasps) 307 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,569 (groans) I'm so sick of keys. 308 00:13:57,571 --> 00:14:01,239 They've brought nothing but good luck since I got them. 309 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,807 (grunts) 310 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,611 Brandine, I think we finally gots us something 311 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,113 to cut off that umbrilical cord. 312 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:12,150 Well, then you got one more mouth to feed. 313 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,519 Y'all want some chocolate milk? 314 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,087 Yes, Mama. 315 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,922 You got it, Embry-Joe. 316 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:22,093 Mmm! 317 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:28,333 That wisenheimer windup toy could be anywhere. 318 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,467 (toy farting) 319 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,202 Hmm? 320 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,270 (gasps) 321 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:36,474 Chief Wiggum, stop that train! 322 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,542 (grunting) 323 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:42,013 Things on the ground are out of my jurisdiction. 324 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,281 Oh, not through my legs. 325 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,450 Oh, that's really rubbin' it in. 326 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,018 (laughs) 327 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,622 Ah. Maybe if I use a pen. 328 00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:51,990 (grunts) 329 00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:56,094 Aw, geez, here comes that girl I always liked in high school. 330 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,662 Clancy, is that you? 331 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,898 Oh, uh, hey, Maryann! 332 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:03,434 Uh, how are you at getting pants off the ground? 333 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:06,271 Skinner's involved in this, deep. 334 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:09,474 Crazy classroom, bus full of missing kids... 335 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,109 I know who'd have some answers. 336 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:15,213 Someone who's been here a long, long time. 337 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,617 Yeah, I've been held back more times than I can count. 338 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,687 Which I guess is why I keep getting held back. 339 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,389 You know anything about 340 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,324 Bus 23? 341 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,492 Whoa, Goldilocks! 342 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:30,695 You best be leaving those bowls of porridge alone. 343 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,398 There's only one bed that's just right for me, 344 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,966 the bed with the truth in it. 345 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,368 Which is probably the third one. 346 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,671 All right, I'll tell you. 347 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:44,375 I'll tell you about Bus 23. 348 00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,513 It was a cold winter-- two-vest cold. 349 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,349 A bus was loaded with kids for a field trip. 350 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,018 I was gonna shake 'em down for field trip money, 351 00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:58,156 but what I heard shook me worse than my dad when I was a baby. 352 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,191 Sir, this bus is too heavy 353 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,259 to cross the ice bridge. 354 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,494 They'll have to take a more circuitous route. 355 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:04,696 There's no time to be safe! 356 00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:06,731 Now bang the side of that bus! 357 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,533 Bang it twice! 358 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,437 NELSON: That bus never came back. 359 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,605 So the answer to our mystery lies on 360 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,708 the other side of that ice bridge. 361 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:17,709 But it's summertime. 362 00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:20,244 The ice bridge will be a water nothing. 363 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,180 Hey, kids! If I tossed you guys 364 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,715 a bucket full of something, 365 00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:27,618 could you pour it out and toss the bucket back up? 366 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,387 Don't drink it! 367 00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:32,223 That's where the ice bridge would be. 368 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,291 Go down! 369 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,326 (nervous grunting) 370 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,728 (Homer screams) 371 00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:37,762 Dad, stop! 372 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,665 But, oh, there's so many buttons! 373 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,470 (grunts) 374 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,705 (screaming) 375 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,308 Ooh! 376 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,214 (screaming) 377 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,321 (screams) 378 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,289 Bart, take the controls! 379 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,791 What video game is this like? 380 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,426 Blimp Assassin 3. 381 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,595 For Wii or Xbox? Xbox. 382 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:11,829 Original or 360? 383 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:14,365 Fly the blimp, you spoiled kid! 384 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,234 (gasps) 385 00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,803 I'll save you, honey! 386 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,471 Boy, stomp on my head! 387 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,374 Yes! And I've got gum on my shoe! 388 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:30,114 You're a real jerk...! 389 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,356 (panting) 390 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,592 Why you undead little...! 391 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,162 That's not a real arm, it's plastic. 392 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,764 That doesn't mean you're any better than him, young lady. 393 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,199 He could be a war hero. 394 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,501 No, I mean they're mannequins. 395 00:17:57,277 --> 00:18:01,079 Oh, there's nothing I can do to save my sister, 396 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,748 the blimp or this airship. 397 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:11,055 (farting) 398 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:21,799 (both gasping) 399 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:25,136 (toy farting) 400 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,538 (laughing) 401 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,374 (sobbing) 402 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,710 It's all pooted out. 403 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,446 Oh, I'm sorry, Homie. 404 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,581 It's worse than you think. 405 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:40,685 I have to buy you a new anniversary present! 406 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:41,352 (groans) 407 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:45,857 Skinner and Chalmers loaded that bus with those kids. 408 00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:47,458 But why? 409 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,193 I can tell you why. 410 00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,361 (gasps) Otto? 411 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:53,664 Are you the one who left the message on the blackboard? 412 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:54,465 Yeah, it was me. 413 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,668 I was the bus driver when those sweet young angels 414 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,770 were swallowed up by the river. 415 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,272 (sobbing) 416 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,640 Now I'm gonna join them! 417 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,742 Otto, they're just mannequins! 418 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:08,179 Then... I'm not responsible for a horrible tragedy. 419 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:10,281 And I didn't do anything wrong by fleeing the scene 420 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:14,652 and not reporting it and killing that hobo with the big mouth. 421 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,521 I might have imagined that last part. 422 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:19,790 Skinner! When I say "Drive us to Bolivia," 423 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,927 that is your cue to start the damn car! 424 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,663 I can't find the key! 425 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,532 Looking for something? 426 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:28,699 Yes, my car key. 427 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,601 Does it look like this? 428 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,702 Yes, quite a bit. 429 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,238 He's got your key, Seymour. 430 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,674 I suppose you'll want to know why this all happened. 431 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,777 Picture what I'm describing in your minds. 432 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,812 Years ago, we received a government grant 433 00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:42,847 to improve the school. 434 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,815 Unfortunately, I cashed it, 435 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:49,353 and the money was in my pants when Mother did the laundry. 436 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,492 But these pants were good for another day. 437 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,860 That's not your decision. 438 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,795 I'm the boss of my own laundry. 439 00:19:57,797 --> 00:20:00,398 Well, you don't have to sleep next to you! 440 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,867 CHALMERS: To keep the feds from coming after us, 441 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,937 we built the phony schoolrooms that you saw. 442 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,406 LISA: So all you had to do was fill 443 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,675 the class with mannequins and take a few pictures. 444 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,510 CHALMERS: Yes, except for one small glitch: 445 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,613 we could only afford to rent the mannequins. 446 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:16,514 (Homer gasps) 447 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,849 SKINNER: If we didn't get them back by 5:00, 448 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,319 we'd be charged for the extra day. 449 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,788 CHALMERS: And they didn't prorate. 450 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:24,755 (Homer gasps) 451 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:28,559 Otto, maybe it was wrong of us to let you think 452 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,729 you killed 24 children. Who can say? 453 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,998 Well, there's two things you didn't count on: 454 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,600 my dad getting a giant wedding cake 455 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,702 and my sister locking herself in the car. 456 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,003 We planned for the wedding cake, 457 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,838 we just didn't see the baby thing coming. 458 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:41,973 Well, you should've. 459 00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:44,508 How could I? She wasn't even born yet. 460 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,677 People have babies! 461 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,284 (tires screeching) 462 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:56,587 Not to worry. They're just mannequins. 463 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,588 No, we're not! 464 00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:02,426 OTTO: Maybe we'll fall real slow like Inception. 465 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,763 Oop, guess not. 466 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:09,000 (keys jingling) 467 00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,977 Shh!