1 00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:03,712 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:06,256 (Ned whimpering) 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,178 (exclaiming) 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,060 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,522 (Barney belches) 6 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,482 (whistle blows) 7 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,776 (yells) 8 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,323 (beeping) 9 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,912 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,756 D'oh! 11 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:48,965 (tires screeching) 12 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,383 (grunts) 13 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,635 ♪♪ 14 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,569 D'oh! 15 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,254 So what are we doing here? 16 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:32,050 What, is it the thing where the family runs in and sits down? 17 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,594 That's it? 18 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:37,889 We flew you in and put you up for that? 19 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,390 I, I think we're done here. 20 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,433 Paul. 21 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,144 (playing The Simpsons theme song) 22 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:46,981 (song ends) 23 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:58,368 {\an8}Lisa Simpson, your actions have brought devastation 24 00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,577 {\an8}upon this town, 25 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,163 {\an8}and all because of your selfish desire 26 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,165 {\an8}to be accepted by others. 27 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,000 {\an8}(gallery murmuring hostilely) 28 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,168 {\an8}Leave her alone. 29 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,837 {\an8}That's my only talking daughter. 30 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,508 {\an8}Lethal inject her on the electric chair. 31 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:17,303 {\an8}Bart, it's okay to say that at home but not in court. 32 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,472 {\an8}-Take it back. -Withdrawn. 33 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:24,435 {\an8}Now, Lisa, tell your side of the story, and use your big voice. 34 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,688 {\an8}Well, it all started a couple of months ago. 35 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:27,939 {\an8}Your Honor, I'd like to request 36 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,733 {\an8}that everyone in the court picture in their minds 37 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,443 {\an8}what the witness is describing. 38 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,654 {\an8}I'll allow it, but no flights of fancy. 39 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,447 {\an8}LISA: Like all too many stories 40 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:40,326 {\an8}about my family, it began with somebody watching television. 41 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,120 {\an8}Well, McBain, you certainly picked 42 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,622 {\an8}a bad time to come out of retirement. 43 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,875 {\an8}I hope you have a COBRA plan. 44 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,668 {\an8}(hisses) 45 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:53,089 {\an8}You are suffering from a reptile dysfunction. 46 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,925 {\an8}HOMER: (groaning) Down in front. 47 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,219 {\an8}Damn it, why do kids have heads? 48 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,764 {\an8}Homie, stop watching the movie in the other people's car. 49 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,934 {\an8}Oh, but I'm invested in the characters. 50 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,812 {\an8}You'll miss the turnoff to the fancy new mall. 51 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,272 {\an8}I make my own turnoffs. 52 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:12,108 {\an8}(tires screeching) 53 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,694 {\an8}And that, kids, is how you stick it 54 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:17,780 {\an8}to the Towne Centre Real Estate Investment Trust. 55 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,616 {\an8}No, no, no. 56 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:20,700 {\an8}Whoo-hoo! 57 00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:21,618 {\an8}(tires screech) 58 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,912 {\an8}Someone thinks we're leaving. 59 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:24,954 {\an8}I'll wave them off. 60 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,373 {\an8}No, no, no, no, let's see how long we can keep 'em waiting. 61 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,292 {\an8}Everyone act like we're buckling up to go home. 62 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,377 {\an8}-(laughs) -Homie. 63 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,879 {\an8}Marge, if you were married to Da Vinci, 64 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,380 {\an8}you wouldn't tell him not to Da Vinch. 65 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,882 {\an8}(groans) 66 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,236 {\an8}Damn it, are you leaving or not?! 67 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,612 {\an8}Leaving? 68 00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:59,739 {\an8}Why on earth would you think that? 69 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,074 {\an8}(roars) 70 00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,660 {\an8}(all laughing) 71 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,621 {\an8}We totally wasted his time. 72 00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,665 {\an8}And ours. (laughs) 73 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,337 {\an8}This place is so great. 74 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,506 {\an8}When the trolley hits you, it doesn't even hurt. 75 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,883 {\an8}(bell ringing, Homer giggling) 76 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,389 {\an8}You try it, Maggie. 77 00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,349 {\an8}(bell ringing, Maggie giggling) 78 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:30,687 {\an8}Ooh, condos. 79 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,272 {\an8}Lenny, do you live here? 80 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,523 {\an8}Yeah, I just moved in. 81 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,775 {\an8}I have a Drippin' Dots for breakfast every morning; 82 00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,027 {\an8}at lunch, I get a massage in front of strangers; 83 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,780 {\an8}and then I spend the afternoon browsing cell phone skins. 84 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,115 {\an8}Ever get tired of those dancing waters? 85 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:45,827 {\an8}(Strauss' "The Blue Danube" playing) 86 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,454 {\an8}The day I moved in. 87 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,123 {\an8}So what are we all going to do together? 88 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:54,961 {\an8}Actually, we just came to do some shopping as a family. 89 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,254 {\an8}Oh, no worries. 90 00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:59,924 {\an8}Mr. Mall can make his own excitement. 91 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,927 {\an8}Give me one doll from every time period, 92 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,138 {\an8}and set me up for a tea party in a private room. 93 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,224 {\an8}Lenny, you asked me to stop you from coming back in here. 94 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,976 {\an8}Let me help you. 95 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,563 {\an8}You can help me by giving me Ellis Island Emily. 96 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,898 {\an8}Hi, dear, I'm your Uncle Lenny. 97 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,942 {\an8}I'm going to buy you an all-new wardrobe, 98 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,902 {\an8}fix your teeth, send you to the best schools, 99 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,988 {\an8}and you're going to hate and resent me for it 100 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,324 {\an8}'cause you're an American now. 101 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,911 I was hanging on to these gift cards as investments, 102 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,247 but then half the companies went out of business. 103 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,124 Better sort those out. 104 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,587 {\an8}(applause) 105 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,340 {\an8}CROWD: Aw... 106 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,264 {\an8}(loud applause) 107 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,183 {\an8}CROWD: Aw... 108 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,186 (grunts nervously) 109 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,396 D'oh! Do-over. 110 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,647 Hmm. 111 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:57,815 Whoo-hoo! 112 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,945 Unspool it into my mouth 113 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,823 till that card is at zero. 114 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,575 Draw the curtain. 115 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,542 (Bart humming) 116 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,336 Sir, as a complexion scientist, 117 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,797 I must advise you against using any more. 118 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,091 This is the most powerful hydrator we sell. 119 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,468 Less blathering, more slathering. 120 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:26,636 (grunts happily) 121 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,012 (laughs) 122 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,890 -(laughing) -Hey! 123 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:31,974 Watch it! 124 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,643 Yo, Bart dude. 125 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:34,852 Can I get a ride to the food court? 126 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,229 Hop on. 127 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,856 (laughing) Ho-ho! 128 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,942 (grunts) 129 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:48,783 Hmm. 130 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,618 I kind of want to create my own thing. 131 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,954 Do you sell any just plain sets? 132 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,081 No. We do all the imagining for you. 133 00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,916 (sighs) Well, I'll just buy one of these 134 00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,209 and build something different. 135 00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:00,962 You do and you'd better build yourself a lawyer. 136 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:04,132 LAWYER: Miss Simpson, does the court really need to hear 137 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,758 everything that happened 138 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,302 in every store your family visited? 139 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:12,098 Trust me, I've left a lot out and cleaned up the swears. 140 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,100 Anyway, I ran into some schoolmates 141 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,601 and thought they might be friendly. 142 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,896 That's what kids do, right, hang out at the mall together? 143 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:19,981 But when I went over... 144 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:22,567 Hi, guys, what are you doing? 145 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:25,820 Duh, having feathers woven into our hair. 146 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,239 LISA'S BRAIN: Those girls are snotty and shallow. 147 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,574 Tell them off. 148 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,409 Can I join you? 149 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:32,994 (Lisa's brain groans) 150 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:36,164 Lisa, how can we put this? 151 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,500 You're the reason no one wears Silly Bandz anymore. 152 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,336 Wha...? They, they don't? 153 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,504 (gasps) 154 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,673 (grunts) What the...? 155 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,175 (sighs sadly) 156 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,843 (moans) 157 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,386 Enough. 158 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,266 I don't trust this place. 159 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,018 Where are the cashiers? 160 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,187 Huh? Oh. 161 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,272 Huh? Oh. 162 00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,941 Yeah, the lightest, most desirable computer 163 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:08,279 in the world for the next three weeks: the Mapple Void. 164 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,993 I'll take it, provided you charge me 165 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,829 for services that Google offers for free. 166 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,332 -I already have. -Sweet. 167 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,044 This computer is so great. 168 00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,004 I'm watching the latest Sofia Coppola movie 169 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:28,382 at 20x speed to make it seem like a normal movie. 170 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,926 I think it just froze. 171 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:33,262 Oh, no, no, that bird just moved. 172 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,432 Uh-oh, a draggy backpack. 173 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,684 I have no friends. 174 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:42,313 Aw, sweetie, hey, why don't you make friends 175 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:43,606 with my new computer? 176 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,650 -Okay. -Let me just finish downloading 177 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,276 the complete works of Shakespeare. 178 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:51,197 (humming) 179 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,615 (sneaky chuckle) 180 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,785 Now who's the greatest writer of all time? 181 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,290 I'd have more friends if I knew what people liked, 182 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,960 but I won't know what people like unless I'm their friend. 183 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,461 It's a conundrum. 184 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,171 Helpful hint: If you want friends, 185 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,257 don't use words like "conundrum." 186 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,424 (phone rings) 187 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,385 -JIMBO: Co-what-drum? -Jimbo heard me say it. 188 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:13,469 I'm dead. 189 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,396 Hmm. 190 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,822 It's easier to be friends with lots of people online 191 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,991 than one person in person. 192 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,159 What if I started an online meeting place 193 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:41,622 where all are equal and I am the undisputed center? 194 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,166 (both grunting) 195 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,877 How's this for a conundrum? 196 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,254 It's not really a conundrum. 197 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,173 Sit at my feet, and I will elaborate. 198 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,972 So, to summarize, Your Honor, 199 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:02,018 Lisa Simpson created this "social network" 200 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,104 because she had no friends. 201 00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,523 No, that is not true. I... 202 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,941 May I remind you you're under oath? 203 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,735 All right already. 204 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:11,861 I had no friends. 205 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,698 With a attitude like that, I wouldn't be her friend. 206 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,534 Life is too dang short. 207 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,621 So, since I had no friends, I assembled a motley crew 208 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,874 of the friendless to help me construct my social network. 209 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,043 Did we become friends? No. 210 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,253 (overlapping chatter) 211 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,051 As the CEO of SpringFace, I want you all to have fun 212 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,552 as you write source code 213 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,387 until you fall asleep at your consoles. 214 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,639 -(all agreeing) -Delightful. 215 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:43,267 Here's my favorite computer game: Angry Nerds. 216 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,186 (squawks) 217 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,646 (all snorting like pigs) 218 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:50,900 Nelson, is there any way I could be your friend? 219 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,277 The only way I would be your friend 220 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,988 is if I could click a box under your picture saying 221 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,574 "Accept friendship request from." 222 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,994 Nelson, you've just given us the template for our site. 223 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,497 I don't care. 224 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,498 (grunts) 225 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,333 (clatter like bowling pins) 226 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,543 (groans) 227 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,047 If we don't move, his odds of getting us both 228 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,424 are 374 to one. 229 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,344 Ooh-oo-ooh, ooh. 230 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,596 (grunts) Bye. 231 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,182 (keyboards clatter) 232 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,892 Now, to skip ahead, 233 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:28,104 your diabolical plan was an instant success. 234 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,356 I never said it was diabolical. 235 00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,024 Withdrawn. 236 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,778 This social network quickly unified 237 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:39,448 the disparate children of Springfield Unified. 238 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,535 Oh, I just got invited to make out with Shauna. 239 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:43,703 See? 240 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,288 That went out to 200 guys. 241 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,540 (groans) 242 00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,041 And seven girls. 243 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,376 (brightly) Oh... 244 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,128 Santa's Little Helper's friends 245 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,130 with Snowball Two? 246 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,715 Now I've seen everything. 247 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:59,051 Ha, all my friends have birthdays this year. 248 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,219 (typing) 249 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,637 (click) 250 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,973 (chuckles) I just un-friended Skinner 251 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,308 Doggone it. I'm less popular 252 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,144 than the hornet's nest in the gym. 253 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,229 You said you were getting rid of that nest. 254 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,690 We trade the honey for chalk and yardsticks. 255 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:13,649 Hornets make honey? 256 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,943 Better than wasp honey, not as good as bee. 257 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,695 Is this how you talk on dates? 258 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,488 I wish my dates were this interesting. 259 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:21,991 Hit refresh. 260 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,242 -(click) -Hit refresh. 261 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,244 (gasps) I have a thousand friends. 262 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,496 And only eight of them are Milhouse. 263 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,998 A thousand kids? 264 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,125 If you could get each of them to send you a dollar, 265 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,251 you'd be a millionaire. 266 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,962 Well, it's not just kids using SpringFace, 267 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,423 it's moms like me, Marge. 268 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:40,050 Wait a minute, grown-ups are on this? 269 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,677 Yeah, look. 270 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,894 We've got to thank you, kiddo. 271 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,521 We've gotten so much more action since we signed up 272 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,273 and used this picture of ourselves. 273 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,524 (raspy chuckling) 274 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,859 -That's not you. -You can see 275 00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,279 our reflection in the sunglasses. 276 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,114 (chuckling) 277 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,701 Wow, I've created something incredibly popular. 278 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,119 And I've created something 279 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,371 that created something incredibly popular. 280 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,332 And I created an alcoholic hippo. 281 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,875 You never showed it to me. 282 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,002 A stupid alcoholic hippo. 283 00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:17,630 -I still want to see it. -There is no hippo. 284 00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:18,923 Then why did you say it? 285 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,800 'Cause you're the hippo. 286 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,009 Are you just saying that 287 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,511 'cause you don't want me to see the hippo? 288 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,638 I don't have a hippo! 289 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:32,269 And so, this so-called "SpringFace" 290 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,980 spread from the world of children to adults. 291 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,942 Man, this Web site makes talking drunk 292 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,069 to my wife so much safer. 293 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,738 I am sitting here... 294 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,282 zero sheets to the wind... 295 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,909 (sneaky chuckle) 296 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,245 HOMER: ...counting the moments to closing time 297 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,413 when I can stumble home to you. 298 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,082 Another round, Moe. 299 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,750 Uh-oh, did I type that? 300 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,418 Delete! Delete! 301 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:59,088 Hmm, typing "delete" does not delete. 302 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,339 (puzzled groan) 303 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,301 It is gratifying to see all of you bowing in prayer, 304 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:07,972 the light of God shining on your faces. 305 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:12,059 Uh-oh, Bernice Hibbert keeps "liking" Bumblebee Man's posts. 306 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:15,020 That's how it starts. Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk. 307 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:18,232 Why did I make this church a Wi-Fi hotspot? 308 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,026 (groans) If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. 309 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,113 Let's see, which Muppet am I? 310 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,489 Beaker? 311 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,116 Hm, I guess that's fair. 312 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,993 Friend, friend, 313 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,161 awaiting reply, friend... 314 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,454 Sherri? Terri? 315 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,831 Hopscotch? 316 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,708 Double Dutch? Ringolivio? 317 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:38,335 Anyone? 318 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,132 Oh, I have a thousand friends, 319 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,009 and I feel more alone than ever. 320 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,260 Whee! 321 00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,429 I am trying to set a mood here. 322 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:49,805 (somberly) Whee. 323 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,724 So, to sum up, 324 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,392 Lisa's social network 325 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,270 turned into the biggest Internet failure since... 326 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,397 (chuckles) Well, there've been so many. 327 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,065 "Ask Jeeves," anyone? 328 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,860 (raucous laughter) 329 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,414 (horse neighs) 330 00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:25,174 And so SpringFace became too big to control, 331 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:28,677 just like the 60-foot baby in my self-published novel, 332 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,012 The 60 Ft. Baby. 333 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,222 Order it online now, while you can still cheat 334 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,058 the government on sales tax. 335 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,518 (clears throat) As I was saying, 336 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,688 SpringFace was used in ways I never expected. 337 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,440 (typing) 338 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,943 (video game gunfire) 339 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,946 Thanks for SpringFacing me your head cleaver, Bart. 340 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,906 (screaming) 341 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,699 (magazine reloading) 342 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,700 (gunfire) 343 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,285 (screaming) 344 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,871 Check this out: I'm hiding a bomb in this pile of corpses, 345 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,665 so when Kearney loots their ammo, 346 00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,750 he gets a face full of ass shrapnel. 347 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,168 (explosion) 348 00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,045 Damn, I got ass-shrapped! 349 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,380 (groans) 350 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,883 (tires squealing) 351 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,176 What the...?! 352 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,095 That idiot cut me off. 353 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,596 (camera clicks) I'm gonna run his plates, 354 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,225 find out who he is, then change his SpringFace profile picture 355 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,810 to a shot of a monkey. 356 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,228 (chuckles) Get that, Marge? 357 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,771 A monkey! 358 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,982 -Homer, watch the road. -Right. 359 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:26,026 Status update: Homer... is... watching... the... 360 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:26,986 (shrieks) 361 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,737 (tires screeching, thud) 362 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,155 (tires squealing, crashing) 363 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,074 (metal crunching) 364 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,243 (trolley bell dings) 365 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,203 Dislike! Dislike! 366 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,414 -(thud) -(sirens wail) 367 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,336 (sirens wailing, tires squealing) 368 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,880 (tires screeching, cars crashing, glass shattering) 369 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:48,924 Somebody call 911! 370 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,510 I don't know how to use the phone on my phone. 371 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,139 Hey, did you guys get my picture of the fire? 372 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,348 Yeah, I did; nice grab. 373 00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,934 -I didn't get it yet. -Yeah, funny how that works. 374 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:02,021 Lisa Simpson, can you give us any reason 375 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:05,607 why the city should not force you to shut down your site? 376 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,986 I know it's awful and insular 377 00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:12,364 and caused 35 deaths, but I had friends. 378 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,616 Four digits of friends! 379 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,286 I had a friend in common with Malcolm Gladwell. 380 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,121 He friends everybody. 381 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,540 Fine. I'll shut down the site. 382 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:28,547 ♪ When you were here before ♪ 383 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:31,008 ♪ Couldn't look you in the eye ♪ 384 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,302 Time to get a life. 385 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:40,392 ♪ You're just like an angel ♪ 386 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:43,687 ♪ Your skin makes me cry ♪ 387 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,065 (imitating guns firing) 388 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,108 We don't need your crummy website. 389 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,943 We can make anything into guns. 390 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,528 (imitating guns shooting) 391 00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:55,157 JANEY: Lisa. Lisa! 392 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,534 Want to play Marco Polo with us? 393 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,745 We just realized you don't have to play in a pool. 394 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,080 You really want me? 395 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,582 (sarcastically) No. We want your Dad. 396 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:06,335 Marco. Come on, Lisa. 397 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,673 -Polo! -Fish out of water. 398 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,843 (laughter) 399 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:23,268 {\an8}♪ When you were here before ♪ 400 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:28,107 {\an8}♪ Couldn't look you in the eye ♪ 401 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:33,946 {\an8}♪ You're just like an angel ♪ 402 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,326 Hey, Winklevosses. 403 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,578 You're gonna lose yet again. 404 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,914 You should see the expression on your faces. 405 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,290 Oh, wait, you can. 406 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,084 They're fat, they smoke, 407 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,877 they started training a week ago. 408 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,170 Why can't we pull away? 409 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,922 Because we can't stop concentrating 410 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,924 on that $65 million Facebook settlement, 411 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,551 which somehow wasn't enough for us. 412 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,469 Even though we were rich in the first place. 413 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,430 (grunts) So long, you big babies! 414 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,307 Hope you like the taste of silver! 415 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,810 Help us, Larry Summers! 416 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,437 Come on, Wonder twin! 417 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,565 Pull! 418 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:22,244 NARRATOR: And now, for a Simpsons "Show's Too Short" story. 419 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,913 (thunderclap, bat screeching) 420 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,167 Once there was a young rascal named Bart. 421 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:32,671 This lad was trouble from the very start. 422 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:38,427 When it came to mischief, he had a black thumb. 423 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:42,264 It didn't hurt that his daddy was dumb. 424 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,933 And when it came to best friends, 425 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,768 it was Milhouse who picked him. 426 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:52,524 Sometimes the sidekick, sometimes the victim. 427 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:56,695 Then one day at school engulfed in ennui, 428 00:19:56,778 --> 00:20:00,616 Bart dreamed of wrapping the place in T.P. 429 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:04,036 So off to the discount store they did skulk. 430 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,789 With the evil intent of buying in bulk. 431 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:11,210 They went to the school and put up a ladder. 432 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,546 Only to wait for Milhouse's bladder. 433 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:20,552 All that evening they unfurled with delight. 434 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,889 And soon the school was covered in white. 435 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:27,392 The mischievous boys had done their best. 436 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,978 When an eagle approached, needing a nest. 437 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,858 They tried to escape with struggles and squirms. 438 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:39,446 But all they got was a diet of worms. 439 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:42,824 There they remained to this very day. 440 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,744 So now you know, pranks do not pay. 441 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,288 Simpson! 442 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:57,965 {\an8}(The Simpsons theme performed by The Tiger Lillies) 443 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,750 -(song ends) -Shh! 444 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:40,007 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay