1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:06,214 {\an8}CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,679 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,810 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,605 (Barney belches) 5 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,274 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,026 (yells) 7 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,032 (beeping) 8 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,163 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:46,546 (tires screech) 10 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,797 D'oh! 11 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,425 (grunts) 12 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,394 ♪ ♪ 13 00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,034 Why, you little...! 14 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,369 (grunting) 15 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,381 {\an8}Good evening. It is with great sadness I inform you 16 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,716 {\an8}that America and China have declared war, 17 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,593 {\an8}and a massive nuclear attack is expected 18 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,804 {\an8}to reach our shores within the hour. 19 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,055 {\an8}-(shrieks) -(chuckles) 20 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,807 {\an8}That's the sort of hypothetical emergency 21 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,268 {\an8}today's disaster preparedness drill is designed 22 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:24,352 {\an8}to get us ready for. 23 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,146 {\an8}Hmm? 24 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,355 {\an8}(sighs) 25 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:30,150 {\an8}All Springfielders should now move off the streets 26 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,359 {\an8}and inside their homes. 27 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:33,194 {\an8}Please avoid the superstitious panic 28 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,530 {\an8}which marked the recent lunar eclipse. 29 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,657 {\an8}(Homer chuckles) 30 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,534 {\an8}Sorry, Dad. I was afraid the dragon 31 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,369 {\an8}wouldn't cough the moon back up. 32 00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:44,455 {\an8}You idjit! The dragon always coughs the moon back up! 33 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:45,665 {\an8}I know it's futile, 34 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,543 {\an8}but I must again point out there is no dragon. 35 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:52,046 {\an8}Then why am I paying $800 a year in dragon insurance? 36 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,923 {\an8}Again, I maintain that money would be 37 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,884 {\an8}better spent on car insurance. 38 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:59,345 {\an8}Lisa, everyone knows dragons do not attack cars. 39 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,889 {\an8}Geez, pick up a book. 40 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:04,475 {\an8}(splutters) I pick up books like you pick up beers! 41 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,729 {\an8}Then you have a serious reading problem. 42 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,898 {\an8}Now remember, this is only a drill. 43 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,858 {\an8}Ah! The missiles really are coming! 44 00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,860 {\an8}The so-called drill is just a way to get you into shelters 45 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,945 {\an8}without causing total chaos! 46 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:21,451 {\an8}Is what I would say, if this weren't a drill. 47 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,120 {\an8}This is not a drill! 48 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,955 {\an8}Now we're supposed to stay down 49 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,291 {\an8}in our storm cellar for three hours. 50 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,293 {\an8}So do your farting now. 51 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,713 {\an8}Homie, what if that was the last thing you ever said? 52 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,049 {\an8}Don't worry. My last words will be 53 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,592 {\an8}"I can outrun that lion." 54 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:39,135 {\an8}(sighs) 55 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,803 {\an8}(Homer humming) 56 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,389 {\an8}HOMER: All right, everybody in. 57 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,895 {\an8}All right, who's the wisenheimer 58 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,813 {\an8}that's been eating the powdered food? 59 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,106 {\an8}Not me. (coughs) 60 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,983 {\an8}Two can play at that game. 61 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,194 {\an8}(grunts) 62 00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,114 {\an8}(gagging) 63 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,617 {\an8}I can do this! I can do this! 64 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,910 {\an8}(gagging) 65 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,870 {\an8}(groans) 66 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,588 {\an8}Boy, I told you an hour ago, 67 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:16,798 {\an8}stop that! 68 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,133 {\an8}But Bunkerball is keeping us sane! 69 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,054 {\an8}Do we really have to sit here the whole time? 70 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,056 {\an8}I mean, if we went out now, 71 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,267 {\an8}it might be cool to see the town empty. 72 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,394 {\an8}Yeah, I could sneak into the school and write whatever 73 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,145 {\an8}I want on the chalkboard! 74 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,897 {\an8}I could see a planetarium show 75 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,066 {\an8}without the secondhand marijuana! 76 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:38,653 {\an8}And I can drive drunk while I'm actually sober! 77 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,571 {\an8}(tires squealing) 78 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,992 {\an8}It's fun, but not as fun. 79 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,326 {\an8}That's odd. 80 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,662 {\an8}Why are all those cars parked at City Hall? 81 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,664 {\an8}BART: Ay caramba! 82 00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:53,334 {\an8}If I didn't know better, I'd say it's a town meeting. 83 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,920 {\an8}Not without us, it isn't. Pull over. 84 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,760 {\an8}Welcome to this secret meeting, 85 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,388 {\an8}made possible by the fake disaster drill. 86 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,515 {\an8}And a special thanks for the hard work 87 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,726 {\an8}of the Mystery And Secrecy Committee. 88 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,477 {\an8}We have names, you know. 89 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,063 {\an8}Quit complaining! You only meet once a month! 90 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,691 {\an8}Yes, but the meetings last eight hours! 91 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,026 {\an8}Shut up! Shut up! 92 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,819 {\an8}This is the most fun I have! 93 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,907 {\an8}And now for the reason we are here. 94 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,159 {\an8}What's going on? 95 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,952 {\an8}Why is there a picture of us? 96 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:28,995 {\an8}This isn't good. 97 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,830 {\an8}Oh, honey, why must you always assume 98 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,332 {\an8}that a huge picture of us 99 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:35,752 {\an8}at a secret meeting we weren't told about is a bad thing? 100 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,463 The results are in: this town has voted unanimously 101 00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:41,632 to get rid of Springfield's unending nightmare: 102 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,509 the Simpsons. 103 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,428 ALL: D'oh! 104 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,597 They're here! The monsters are here! 105 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,557 Moe, it's me, Marge. 106 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,517 I'm your friend. 107 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,728 The monster queen is coming on to me! 108 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,695 Why would you want to banish us from Springfield? 109 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,156 Yeah. We're like family to you. 110 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:08,576 I'm talking to you, headphone-bus-driver guy. 111 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:11,371 I'll have you know I'm also a hair donor! 112 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,499 Salma Hayek wore me to the Oscars! 113 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:17,460 This is not about who wore whose hair where. 114 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,629 We are here to banish the Simpsons, 115 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,131 although we are not pleased to be doing so. 116 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,966 -I am! -Me, too. 117 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,885 I feel like a kid at Christmas! 118 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,970 I believe you know my position. 119 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,514 I know we're all happy. 120 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:32,558 I'm just trying to spare their feelings. 121 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,644 Those freaks have no feelings! 122 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,396 Even baby never cry! 123 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,398 MAN: She's a freak! 124 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,899 What baby does that?! 125 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,985 Why would an entire town go to all this fuss 126 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,695 to get rid of one family? 127 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,073 What have we done that's so terrible? 128 00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:48,616 I'm glad you asked. 129 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:51,285 The simple fact is the city is going broke 130 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,830 cleaning up after Homer's drunken shenanigans... 131 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,832 {\an8}(audience clamoring) 132 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,917 We won! Whoo-hoo! 133 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,254 Homer, that is not banishment-hearing behavior! 134 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,381 ...Bart's pranks, which dwindle in humor 135 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,383 as they rise in destruction... 136 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,468 {\an8}(audience booing) 137 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,221 ...and Lisa's environmental initiatives... 138 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,473 {\an8}(audience clamoring) 139 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,724 If I may speak. 140 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,143 Mm-hmm. 141 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,310 We're not monsters. 142 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,854 We're just people. 143 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,190 People who love each other and love this town, 144 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,860 (voice breaks) the only place we've ever called home. 145 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,403 Thank you. 146 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:29,073 (sobs) 147 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,700 Marge, you are a sweet woman 148 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,953 and you make us see your family in a more forgiving light. 149 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,246 Thank you. 150 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,665 Which is why you're the worst Simpson of all! 151 00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,417 -Huh?! -ALL: Yeah, yeah! 152 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,377 Now, now, now just a second here. 153 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,296 Now, I know we're not perfect. 154 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:46,716 but, uh, I believe it was Sammy Hagar who said... 155 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:47,884 SIDESHOW MEL: Silence! 156 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:48,926 D'oh! 157 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,013 That was an "inside me" bone! 158 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,306 (grunts) 159 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,765 (audience clamoring) 160 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,059 Make way for Captain Coolerhead! 161 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,061 Now, I like a good old-fashioned witch trial 162 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,938 as much as the next person, 163 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,024 but I do not think we should be so quick 164 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,525 to judge our longtime neighbors. 165 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,277 Not so fast, Flanders. 166 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,446 We knew you'd be the voice of mercy, 167 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:11,699 and we're prepared to answer your concerns. 168 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,784 (grunts) 169 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,286 Any other objections? 170 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,039 I withdraw my... diddily. 171 00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,123 (sighs) 172 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,958 (cheering) 173 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,252 (band playing "Happy Days Are Here Again") 174 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,379 Oh... I always thought "tarred and feathered" 175 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,298 was just a figure of speech. 176 00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:30,593 Good luck patching potholes and stuffing pillows now! 177 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,346 (clears throat) 178 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,015 Simpson, in accordance with article six, 179 00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:37,850 section two of the town charter... 180 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,936 Wait! If you banish us, 181 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,898 you shall be cursed with a thousand-year drought. 182 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:45,441 (thunder crashing) 183 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,777 I mean, a thousand-year flood! 184 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,948 D'oh! I mean, a thousand years of perfect weather. 185 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,491 Just get out. 186 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,704 ♪ I'm a rolling stone ♪ 187 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:02,458 ♪ All alone and lost ♪ 188 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,378 (over radio) ♪ For a life of sin ♪ 189 00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,922 ♪ I have paid the cost... ♪ 190 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,674 (music fades out) 191 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:13,719 Oh, that was the last Springfield radio station. 192 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,305 Now we just get Shelbyville talk radio. 193 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,099 RADIO ANNOUNCER: If you see a Simpson, 194 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,934 do not try to reason with it. 195 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,478 Just kill it and turn in the pelt for a free soda. 196 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,146 Soda, eh? 197 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,148 Mmm. 198 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,236 {\an8}Dad, where are we going? Do we have a plan? 199 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,571 (sobbing) 200 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,197 Oh, let's face it. 201 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,242 I'm the one that's brought this fate upon us. 202 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:40,079 And there's only one way out: I've gotta man up. 203 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,623 Okay, manning up... 204 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,083 manning up. 205 00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:45,585 Manning... 206 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,045 oh, girling down! 207 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,423 (sobbing) Girling down! 208 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:53,634 Hey, Henrietta Hippo, I've got to drain the inchworm. 209 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,511 (sighs) Fine. 210 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,348 (Bart humming) 211 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,852 (rifle cocks) 212 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,312 Please, put that down. 213 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,605 BART: I just got started. 214 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,689 Not you. Him! 215 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,858 You best get back where you belong. 216 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,277 Please, sir, we've been thrown out of a place 217 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,029 we've always called home. 218 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,865 We just want to live out our lives in peace. 219 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,950 Rejected by society, huh? 220 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,702 Well, why didn't you say so? 221 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:23,289 Welcome to the off-the-grid unincorporated settlement 222 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,459 we proudly call "The Outlands." 223 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,294 (gasping, gun cocking) 224 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,506 We've found a new home. 225 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,468 When God shuts a door, he opens a window. 226 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:38,220 Oh, I wouldn't be openin' no windows. 227 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,140 Coyotes will take your baby. 228 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,391 (coyote howls) 229 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,732 MOUNTAIN MAN: ♪ The Outlands ♪ 230 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,616 (The Simpsons opening theme playing) 231 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,205 (groans) 232 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,915 (tires screeching) 233 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,250 D'oh! 234 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,045 -(horses neigh) -(Homer grunts) 235 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,048 (theme music ends) 236 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,303 Eh, I'm sick of watching Fox. 237 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,888 Let's get some fresh air. 238 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,807 I got the ATVs right out back. 239 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,183 Should I get my helmet? 240 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,893 Helmet? That's Springfield talk. 241 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:27,228 (starter cranking, engine stalling) 242 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,646 Is there gas in these? 243 00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:29,897 Springfield talk! 244 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,565 Well, how are we supposed to get fuel? 245 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,943 Private plane crashes. 246 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,862 Ah, smell that unpolluted air! 247 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,989 You know, I'm glad we're in exile. 248 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,617 Yep, I never realized how much I hated 249 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,203 every single one of my friends and relatives. 250 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:47,331 I don't think this place is so great. 251 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,125 (hissing) 252 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,460 I'm trying to make the best of things, 253 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,422 but I'm worried Maggie is falling in with a bad crowd. 254 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:57,508 {\an8}(babies chanting) 255 00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,386 I miss our home, and I want to go back. 256 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,929 It's not perfect here, 257 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,055 but it is close to nature 258 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,640 and if you have an ax to grind, 259 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,851 WikiLeaks is right over there. 260 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,853 (radar pinging) 261 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,855 How're you doin', Mr. Assange? 262 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,314 That's my personal information, 263 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,358 and you have no right to know about it. 264 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,945 Hey, but we're neighbors. 265 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:20,156 would you like to come over for a movie sometime? 266 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,742 Is it Iraqi journalists being murdered? 267 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:23,868 Don't be ridiculous. 268 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,161 It's an Afghan wedding being bombed. 269 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:26,245 Aw... 270 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:29,290 Well I've got a really big secret for you. 271 00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:32,042 (loud whisper) I'm not wearing any underwear. 272 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,712 You know, you should really get out less. 273 00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,426 (beeping) 274 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,386 (beep) 275 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,513 He's no Ned Flanders. 276 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,849 And I miss the Springfield sign 277 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,018 and how every street is a dead end. 278 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,520 God help me, I even miss Helen Lovejoy 279 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,814 criticizing my brownies. 280 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,399 (crying) 281 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,026 Hey, baby, banned forever 282 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,986 doesn't mean you can't go back sometimes. 283 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,322 -Yes, it does. -Pipe down, boy! 284 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,074 (whispers) I'm sneaking you back into Springfield. 285 00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:06,410 (whistling a melody) 286 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,663 (imitates Burns) Oh, Smithers? 287 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,123 (exhales sharply) 288 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,417 Homie, these disguises won't fool anyone. 289 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,128 Pish tosh, Smithers, and fiddle-dee-dee! 290 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,880 (normal voice) Heh-heh, nailed it. 291 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,423 WIGGUM: Hold it right there. 292 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,218 Mr. Burns, you might catch a cold out this late. 293 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,511 You want my jacket? 294 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,554 Here, let me warm my gun up for you. 295 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,891 (like Burns) Excellent! 296 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,811 Yeah, it wouldn't be you if you didn't say "excellent." 297 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,482 (loud gulping) 298 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,151 (slurring) You know what's great about you, Marge? 299 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,863 After all these years, you can still shinny up the donut 300 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,990 and then pull me up after you. 301 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,992 Look! A shooting star! 302 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,328 -(loud boom) -(sighs) 303 00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:52,331 You ever wonder if there are donut shops on other planets? 304 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,668 On a night like tonight, I have to believe there are. 305 00:13:58,045 --> 00:13:59,046 (grumbles) 306 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,006 (grunts) 307 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,343 Strike! Whoo-hoo! 308 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:07,096 Want to make out over the foul line? 309 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,807 Ever since the day we met. 310 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,939 The old homestead. Remember when we moved in 311 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,899 (like Walter Matthau): and I talked like this? 312 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,067 (giggles) 313 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,360 Ooh, ooh... 314 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:24,530 -Mmm, mmm, mmm... -(giggling) 315 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,199 (chuckles) 316 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,119 Eh, there's no sex like fugitive sex. 317 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,209 Home sweet squat. 318 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:40,421 Yeah. This place is awesome, but it's not puppy-safe. 319 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,631 And my little guy's coming home tomorrow. 320 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,509 (drill whirring in distance) 321 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,511 (trembling) Someone's downstairs! 322 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,973 Shh. I think I heard a pair of underpants 323 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,017 being picked up off the ground. 324 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,310 Big ones. 325 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,311 (all gasp) 326 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,645 It's them! 327 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,230 Bart's mom and the fat guy! 328 00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,481 Let's turn them in! 329 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,191 WIGGUM (over bullhorn): Not so fast. 330 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,943 This case was already cracked 331 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,695 by the last person you'd expect: 332 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,363 the Chief of Police! 333 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,073 You really thought you could fool me 334 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,034 with that Burns and Smithers getup. 335 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:13,245 I mean, I'm not the sharpest pencil in the... pencil thing, 336 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,872 but I'm least as smart as a cat. 337 00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,082 -Right, Lou? -Uh, what breed, Chief? 338 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,127 I mean, I saw an Abyssinian once who could change channels. 339 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,879 Eh, that is pretty smart. 340 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,297 All right, you caught us. 341 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:26,550 What are you gonna do about it, throw us out of town again? 342 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,010 Crucify them! 343 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,887 And screw the boulder in tight! 344 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,639 Make them write monologue jokes! 345 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,516 Cancel their subscription to the opera! 346 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,517 We hate opera! 347 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,103 Then get them a subscription to the opera! 348 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,104 No...! 349 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,439 I say shoot 'em! 350 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:41,899 Now, hold on just a minute. 351 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,651 Nobody said anything about shooting. 352 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,027 I did, just now. 353 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,071 That's right, you did. Well, all right. 354 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,783 -(hammers cock) -Okay. 355 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:53,369 Don't even bother shooting us. 356 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,414 We've found a new place that we love, 357 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,333 a place that may not have indoor plumbing, 358 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,961 but it's got something we treasure more. 359 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,587 Yeah! Non-jerks! 360 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:04,672 (all gasp) 361 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:05,965 Maybe he's right-- 362 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,132 we are jerks. 363 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,969 You want I should spray some of my Jerk Off on you? 364 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,845 Uh... it's okay. 365 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,639 In our new community, 366 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,308 people accept others for who they are. 367 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,478 I thought I wanted to come back to my house, 368 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:23,691 but instead, I'm going to go back to my home. 369 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,112 Well, bah to them! 370 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:30,614 Let's go, Smithers. 371 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,950 (chuckles) Getting a little clingy, aren't we? 372 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:36,203 -(chattering) -Oh, all right. 373 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:39,373 That's all it took? I just had to ask? 374 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:45,462 (humming a melody) 375 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,756 Well, I've tightened the bolt. 376 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,924 I think we're good. 377 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,968 You sure this is a good idea? 378 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,137 This is the Outlands, boy. 379 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,972 Ideas aren't good or bad, 380 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,640 they're just free. 381 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:57,766 Power on! 382 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,143 (loud whooshing) 383 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,978 I was wrong-- there are bad ideas! 384 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,146 There are terrible ideas! 385 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,981 (Homer screaming) 386 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,401 -(whooshing) -HOMER: Now I'm over here! 387 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,069 -(mewing) -(gasps) 388 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,320 I'm on it. 389 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,656 ♪♪ 390 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,661 -(blows landing) -Ow! (grunts) 391 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,246 Lenny Lenford. 392 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,582 You're a long way from your bar stool. 393 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,125 I'm... I'm here as a friend, 394 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,085 looking for a better way of life. 395 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,088 (whooshing) 396 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,674 -(whooshing stops) -(grunting) 397 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,218 Mm. 398 00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,555 -Hey, Lenny. Welcome aboard. -Whew! 399 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,100 Now, I got to warn you, 400 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,353 if you find a little black thing on your pillow, it won't be a mint. 401 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:46,356 I don't mind-- I want a fresh start, and so does Carl. 402 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,775 Get her off! Get her off! 403 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,778 (laughs) Let her slice off the tip of your ear, 404 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,447 -and she'll go right to sleep. -No. 405 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,783 That's not a choice you get to make. 406 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,534 Ooh, this is pretty tasty. 407 00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,537 Yup. And I like how it's dissolving a hole in the cup. 408 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:01,538 (sizzling) 409 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,790 Hey, guys! 410 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,166 What can I getcha? 411 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:07,294 Forget it! We don't need some big-city bartender 412 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,923 charging us an arm and a leg for something we can do ourselves. 413 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,549 Sure, sure, I understand. 414 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:16,011 But if you change your minds, I'll be here in this cave. 415 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,679 (humming) 416 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,473 I got a funny feeling our paradise 417 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:22,101 is about to get ruined by unwanted guests. 418 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,187 I probably shouldn't have given this place five stars on Yelp. 419 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,397 Well, I rented that plane. 420 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,693 ♪♪ 421 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,910 (grunts) 422 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,286 Oh, that tears it. 423 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,997 I am not comfortable being this close to medical care. 424 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,457 Out of here. 425 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,127 What are you doing here? 426 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,920 I, uh, heard everything was going great 427 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,005 in your new Eden, with one flaw: 428 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,299 you lack a corrupt city government. 429 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,176 True, true. 430 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,679 And a school system that teaches to the tests, 431 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,849 sneaks the kids the answers and still fails. 432 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,767 Stop! Stop! 433 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,019 This is everything we put behind us. 434 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,355 You can't leave civilization, Marge! 435 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:11,400 Humanity is an inexorable upward march! 436 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,861 Or was till the year 2000. 437 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,864 Well, I did miss a few things about the grid... 438 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,699 like everything! 439 00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,534 (all grunting) 440 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:27,207 Maureen Dowd, we've got a lot of catching up to do. 441 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,626 ♪♪ 442 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,797 I'm sure someone will come back and tell me where they went. 443 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,758 (wind whistling softly) 444 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,802 If I go inside, they might not find me. 445 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:43,473 ♪ We'll meet again ♪ 446 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,393 ♪ Don't know where ♪ 447 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,605 ♪ Don't know when ♪ 448 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,398 ♪ But I know ♪ 449 00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,775 ♪ We'll meet again ♪ 450 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:58,447 ♪ Some sunny day... ♪ 451 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,871 (helicopter blades whirring) 452 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:09,374 Aw, come on, man, we wouldn't leave you behind. 453 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,793 Bless you, boy! 454 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,129 -Ow! -Accident. 455 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,464 Here comes another one. 456 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,507 -(loud thump) -Ow! 457 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,134 -(thump) -Ow! 458 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,553 It's nice to be wanted. 459 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,597 {\an8}MOUNTAIN MAN: ♪ The Outlands ♪ 460 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:09,935 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay