1 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:04,754 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,297 Argh! 3 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,134 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,260 (tires screech) 5 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,928 (grunts) 6 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:15,390 ANNOUNCER: Raise your cards now. 7 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,060 Ooh... 8 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,812 -HOMER: Whoo-hoo! -(whistle blows) 9 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:31,906 (espionage-style music plays) 10 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:48,298 HOMER: Now that's what I call going for a spin! 11 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,884 (grunts) 12 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:54,054 Now that's what I call a snappy retort! 13 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,598 {\an8}Stop saying what you call things! 14 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,308 {\an8}I'm trying to watch the movie! 15 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:00,643 {\an8}Welcome to annual conclave of 16 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,645 {\an8}International Brotherhood of Evil. 17 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,024 {\an8}This year's theme: "Evil in the Age of Social Media." 18 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,109 {\an8}We have prepared three breakout rooms 19 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,819 {\an8}for small group discussion. 20 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,112 {\an8}CROWD: Hear, hear! 21 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:14,074 {\an8}These small rooms are an excellent way 22 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:16,659 {\an8}for villains to mingle with super-villains. 23 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,620 {\an8}But are you sure we will not be bothered 24 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,955 {\an8}by the American master-spy 25 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,416 {\an8}-Stradivarius Cain? -(gasps and murmuring) 26 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,376 {\an8}Do not worry about Dr. Cain. 27 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,962 {\an8}The last I saw him, my beautiful mistress 28 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,881 {\an8}was about to finish him off. 29 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,717 {\an8}Yes, that's what I did. 30 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,761 {\an8}You killed him, right? 31 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:37,472 {\an8}Yes, he was the perfect lover... 32 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,015 {\an8}of being killed! 33 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,392 {\an8}It's a weird sentence, but let's move on. 34 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:45,105 {\an8}My baker has prepared an edible monument to Cain's demise. 35 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,940 {\an8}(crowd chatters) 36 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:49,025 {\an8}Party's over, General. 37 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,527 {\an8}Stradivarius Cain?! 38 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,529 {\an8}No...! 39 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,741 {\an8}He turned that Russian guy into Swiss cheese! 40 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:57,951 {\an8}Homer! 41 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,037 {\an8}People are here to see the movie, not listen to you! 42 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,164 {\an8}Hey, Homer, great yell-outs tonight! 43 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,625 {\an8}Lucky you, Marge! You get to hear 'em the loudest! 44 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,585 {\an8}You've ruined me for other men! 45 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,420 {\an8}That's my hobby. 46 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:12,423 {\an8}This is my job. 47 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,802 {\an8}Looks like that guy's got turret's syndrome! 48 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,512 {\an8}(both laugh) 49 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,682 {\an8}I couldn't have thought of that in 10,000 lifetimes! 50 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,434 {\an8}(groans) 51 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,979 {\an8}(Homer chuckles) 52 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:31,734 {\an8}(chuckling continues) 53 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,907 {\an8}Swiss cheese... 54 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,243 {\an8}Marge, how come you're not saying anything? 55 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,704 {\an8}There was enough talking during the movie. 56 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,998 {\an8}This date night was even worse than the date night 57 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,292 {\an8}we saw Date Night. (grunts) 58 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,544 HOMER: Oh, man, Marge is pissed. 59 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,671 Look at her... flaring her nostrils... 60 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:54,465 drumming her fingers... making small noises like 61 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,050 she's yelling at me inside her head... 62 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,052 (short multiple grunts) 63 00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,888 Just take me home! 64 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,140 That's what she said! 65 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,269 -LENNY: Another good one! -CARL: You're on fire! 66 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,521 (whines) 67 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,065 (tires screech) 68 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,567 SKINNER: Attention, students. 69 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,861 In order to cut down on the rash of 70 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,738 embarrassing YouTube videos of our teachers, 71 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:20,033 we will be scanning you and taking away your smartphones. 72 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:23,244 (kids grumbling) 73 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,954 KID: Make sure I get this back. 74 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,542 A new low. (sighs) 75 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,503 I should've taken that superintendent job in Honduras. 76 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,298 My own donkey, all the sugarcane I could suck... 77 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,801 if only I could stomach the upside-down question marks. 78 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,472 Hmm... Hmm?! 79 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,307 (humming) 80 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,309 Hey Simpson. Let me save you the trouble 81 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:49,646 of putting that money back in your pocket. 82 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,064 NELSON: Haw-haw! 83 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,526 Stupid Nelson! I hate that guy. 84 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,197 My mom says bullies only bully 'cause they're scared. 85 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,531 NELSON: Your mom's next! 86 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:03,117 You make dumb kids, lady. 87 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,911 Hmm? 88 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:07,789 Hmm. 89 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,959 (crow caws) 90 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,294 -(electricity buzzing) -Boy, Homer, I gotta say, 91 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,213 Marge looked pretty easy on the eyes last night. 92 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,382 And I know eye-ease! 93 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:18,633 -Yeah. -Uh-oh. 94 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,968 Trouble in paradise? 95 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,220 No, just my marriage. 96 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:23,680 BOTH: Ooh. 97 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:24,806 (whines) 98 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,184 Honey, it's me again. 99 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,020 I can't work knowing that you're mad at me. 100 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,689 I just wanna hear your voice. 101 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,650 And I'm counting the minutes till the whistle blows, 102 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,528 then I go to Moe's, then I rush home to you. 103 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,280 -(tires screech) -Ooh! 104 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,407 Explain this infernal wheel to me again. 105 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,701 Left for left, right for right! 106 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,160 Enough of your double-talk! 107 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,081 (yelling) 108 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,082 (grunting) 109 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,250 (shouting, grunts) 110 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,921 Excellent. He's alive. 111 00:04:57,005 --> 00:05:00,049 Smithers, give this man one Ibuprofen, 112 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,552 uncoated, and send him back to his workstation. 113 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,513 Sir, Simpson has sustained a serious concussion. 114 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:08,975 Recent research says you must give him time off to recover. 115 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,351 Oh, pish. 116 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,603 When I was in Africa, I had my skull cracked open 117 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,188 by cannibals, and I'm still kicking! 118 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,149 Sir, that was your partner. 119 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,525 You betrayed him to the cannibals. 120 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,110 (chuckling) Oh, that's right. 121 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,863 I have his memories because I ate his brain. 122 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,531 Mr. Burns, you have to give this man something. 123 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,409 He could sue us for all we've got! 124 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:29,996 Fine. Eight weeks off with pay. 125 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,332 -(shrieks) -That's a good thing. 126 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,542 But you said it so mean. 127 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,294 (tires screech) 128 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:37,462 (chuckles) 129 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,755 Eight weeks paid vacation, 130 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,591 and all because of a little bump on the noggin. 131 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,801 -(liquid trickling) -(grunts) 132 00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:48,306 Hey, Marge, here's something that'll make you happy! 133 00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:51,017 -Not in the mood! -No, this is really good. I... 134 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,019 Nelson took my lunch money again. 135 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:54,520 -Now, listen, Lisa... -(saxophone playing) 136 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,065 Hold that thought. I'm tuning my saxophone. 137 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,317 (blows note) Sharp. (blows note) Flat. 138 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,486 -Sharp. Flat. -No one will tell me if 139 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,989 -I'm a ghost or not! -Well, I just got... 140 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,206 (heart beating) 141 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,999 Got what, Homer? 142 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,793 Uh... I got... 143 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,171 Shelbyville radio in my car for a few minutes. 144 00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,757 (groans) Homer, I'm a single mother 145 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,175 trying to raise a family here. 146 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,219 -But you're not... -Just zip it! 147 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:30,848 (all complaining) 148 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,810 I have eight weeks paid vacation, 149 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,186 and my family doesn't know. 150 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,105 Whoo-hoo. 151 00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:43,653 Honey, I'm off to work! 152 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,739 You know... maybe I should call in sick. 153 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,492 We could visit all our old romantic haunts 154 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,703 that have closed and turned into temporary Halloween stores. 155 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,997 I have to take Maggie for her checkup. 156 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,042 And a guy's coming to see what the smell is under the house. 157 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,503 I get it. You need your Marge time. 158 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:04,298 (sighs) Well, I'm... off to work. 159 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,886 (giggling) 160 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,097 -(grunts) -FLANDERS: Ow! Ow! 161 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,474 My feet hurt, and my neck is cold. 162 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,725 (grunts) 163 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,477 KRABAPPEL: (yawns) Children, 164 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,438 I didn't get much sleep last night, 165 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,899 because I was up late again, lamenting the choices I've made. 166 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,986 Haw-haw! You can't change the past. 167 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,530 Just for that, you can go to the principal's office, 168 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,408 while the rest of the class enjoys... a movie day. 169 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,326 (cheering, gunfire) 170 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,081 Krusty Burger: Every day thousands of people 171 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:40,042 wolf down his "kwazy cuisine" 172 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,961 thinking they're getting the nutrients 173 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,881 a human being needs to live. 174 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,133 But for 30 days, this reporter 175 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,803 ate nothing but this joker's deck of carbs. 176 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,472 And I say: 177 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,057 (thunder rumbles) 178 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,394 {\an8}Do you want lies with that? 179 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:07,111 Oh great. Another documentary making me look like a scuzzbag. 180 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,529 What is it this time? 181 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,240 That the town I sponsor in Africa doesn't exist? 182 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,868 Prove it! Film all of Africa! 183 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:18,080 Day 12: I've gained 20 pounds. 184 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,916 As for my cholesterol... 185 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,585 It's bad. You can just scrape it right off. 186 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:29,842 But still I soldier on with my "Laffy Meal." 187 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,678 (grunting and gagging) 188 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,849 (humming) 189 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,101 Hey, this is all above-board. 190 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,399 One month of eating Krusty Burger 191 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,569 and nothing else has transformed me 192 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:52,698 into a morbidly obese, toilet-busting American. 193 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,784 If I don't have some kind of nugget 194 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,411 every five minutes, I'll die. 195 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,040 I'm so weak... 196 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,834 I can't even fill out this application 197 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,045 for "Documentary Film Oscar." 198 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,550 DESMOND: But it'll be worth it 199 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:16,222 if my suffering teaches Krusty the value of proper nutrition. 200 00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:19,725 You're gonna be my breakfast English sausage! 201 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:20,977 (crazy laugh) 202 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,939 (Erik Satie's Gymnopedies 3 For Piano plays) 203 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,737 Hmm... 204 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,492 (Bart chuckles) 205 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,411 Man, when you're not at work, 206 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,497 you see so many beautiful things. 207 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,668 (Irlandaise-Claude Bolling Suite For Flute & Jazz Piano Trio) 208 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,093 (snoring) 209 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:57,013 (choking) 210 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,598 (snoring) 211 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,809 (Homer chuckles) And now, because it's afternoon, 212 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:07,023 I can go to Moe's without having a "drinking problem." (chuckles) 213 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,232 (beer pouring) 214 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,026 Hey, Homer. I could hear your 215 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,944 pathetic rationalizing through the door. 216 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,363 Well, why can't I hang out at the bar all day? 217 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,115 My wife doesn't want to be with me. 218 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,075 Look, I'd love to discuss your problems, 219 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,077 but a pack of raccoons took over my back room, 220 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,204 and today's the day I make my stand. 221 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,956 (wild screaming, raccoons chittering) 222 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,292 MOE: Aah! Aah! There's more than I thought! 223 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,928 I wish I could pull down my zipper 224 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,096 and that guy would come out. 225 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,515 CAIN: Stranger things have happened, Homer. 226 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,894 (screams) Stradivarius Cain! 227 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,897 What the...? Am I losing my marbles? 228 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,607 No, I'm just an illusion caused by 229 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,567 the concussion you suffered at the plant. 230 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,111 Can I put my hand through you? 231 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,655 If you want. 232 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,239 C'mon... really? 233 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,033 Show a little class. 234 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,368 Sorry. 235 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:03,412 Now I'm about to undertake my toughest mission ever: 236 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,666 to make you into a man your wife can't resist. 237 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,171 What the...? No one can see you! 238 00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:15,299 Other people's imaginary friends can see me. 239 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,759 (groans) 240 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,929 Hello, Dr. Cain. 241 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,597 Hello, Hufnpuffalus. 242 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,476 Sorry I slept with your girlfriend. 243 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,353 You did me a favor, man. 244 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,021 (Nelson humming) 245 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:32,108 Lunch money, lunch money, lunch money. 246 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,359 Hey, Lis. 247 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,194 Nelson, don't you want my lunch money? 248 00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:38,364 Nah. Chicks wind up getting all your money anyway. 249 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,574 That's sexist, but thank you. 250 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,077 Now I gotta go liberate some cash from your brother. 251 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,537 Well, if you must. 252 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:47,123 See if you can find out where my dolls are. 253 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,708 You might not like the answer. 254 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,167 I just want closure. 255 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,754 Simpson, you know why I'm here. 256 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:57,341 Nelson, I could give you my lunch money... 257 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,677 or I could give you... 258 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,429 Lunch? 259 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,013 Actual lunch?! 260 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,015 Look at all them burgers and fries. 261 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,476 I didn't know they served these things warm! 262 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,604 Aw... they feel like a baby's head. 263 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,774 I just thank God you didn't take my coupons. 264 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,609 Got enough for a month. 265 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,487 Free hamburger?! Mmm-mmm-mmm! 266 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,197 No, you give them the coupon, 267 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,657 and they give you the hamburger. 268 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,825 I knew that. 269 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,618 (chuckles) 270 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,002 I must say, whoever installed 271 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:37,047 your car's secret weapons did a great job hiding them. 272 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:40,384 Yeah, Dr. Cain, the thing about that is... 273 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,803 uh, there aren't any weapons. 274 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:46,640 What?! Well, does your car at least turn into something else? 275 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,894 Sometimes Marge says I turn it into a trashcan. 276 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,229 Hmm... (groans). 277 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,981 Homer, you are going to clean up this car, 278 00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:57,234 put on cologne, and become a sparkling conversationalist. 279 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,236 Sounds like you're turning into wife number two. 280 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,405 I can do that. 281 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,491 So, stick with Marge! 282 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,742 (Homer gasping) 283 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:07,328 Whoa, what's going on there, Lou? 284 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,246 Well, if you ask me, Chief... 285 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,414 (low groan) 286 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:11,999 All right, what does this mean? 287 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,503 Childhood obesity... 288 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,087 (chuckles) it's not funny anymore! 289 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,633 Breakfast cereals where the surprise inside is diabetes 290 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,760 and soda cups the size of hot tubs 291 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:26,263 have made every state Mississippi-fat. 292 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,932 Mmm-mmm! 293 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,309 (gasps) That's Nelson! 294 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,354 No, you're imagining things. 295 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,064 What else you got? 296 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,941 Just bubbling oil. 297 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,276 Stand back and give me a straw. 298 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,695 (gasps) 299 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,198 Now, the ultimate test: 300 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,910 I want you to convince... that woman 301 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:51,121 to give herself to you body and soul. 302 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,207 But I'm a married man. 303 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,626 Yeah, I know. A married man is never attracted 304 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,711 to a beautiful woman he doesn't even know, 305 00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,298 but this will give you the confidence you need with Marge. 306 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:04,969 Okay, I'll make a stranger love me forever. 307 00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:07,096 And Homer, remember: 308 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,681 it doesn't matter what you say 309 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:11,767 as long as you say it with confidence. 310 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,352 Mm-hmm! 311 00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:16,438 My dear, did you just fall from heaven? 312 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,441 'Cause your hair looks really messed up. 313 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,110 Okay, it matters a little what you say. 314 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,444 Moving on... 315 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,154 You know what wood makes the best 316 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,699 ventriloquist dummy? Maple. 317 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,371 How many hardboiled eggs do you think I can eat? 318 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:36,125 (groans) Look, just say this: 319 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,127 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm! 320 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,962 When I was in special ops, 321 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,672 they held me in an Afghan prison 322 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,967 where all I could see was a patch of blue sky. 323 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,969 But that blue was nothing compared 324 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:50,055 to the blue of your eyes. 325 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:54,101 Oh... I am a sucker for articulate fatsos. 326 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,812 (giggles) 327 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,063 MAN: What is this? 328 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,691 I leave for two seconds to get chocolate martinis, 329 00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:04,278 and my wife is expertly seduced by this pork empanada! 330 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,946 (gasps) What do I do? 331 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,073 Squirt that lemon in his eye! 332 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,451 You think a lemon will stop me?! 333 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,538 A lime! No...! 334 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,457 (laughing) 335 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,793 Did you see the guy? 336 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,130 (humming) 337 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,257 Marge, what brings you to the S.N.P.P.? 338 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,301 Homie's been working so hard. 339 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,386 I thought I'd bring him a special lunch. 340 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,846 Marge, you're a blue angel. 341 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,848 And I'm not talking about those pilots that hot dog in 342 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,892 an air show while the real men are in combat. 343 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,603 But I gotta ask: where's Homer working? 344 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,229 Here, right? 345 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,273 Not since Burns gave him that time off. 346 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,150 -What is this? Week six? -What?! 347 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:46,320 I knew there was a reason he was leaving on time! 348 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,323 Oh, I can't believe this! 349 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,492 (tires squeal) 350 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,160 What'd you say to her? 351 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:55,496 I don't know. I thought I was making small talk. 352 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,749 But it turned out to be big talk. 353 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:06,006 (Krusty, chimpanzee grunting loudly) 354 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,593 -What?! -Krusty! 355 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,470 This once-vibrant young bully 356 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,889 won't even live to pick on kids in junior high! 357 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,350 Because he's been eating nothing but your food! 358 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,935 Atta boy! 359 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,436 (coughs) 360 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,855 Got any fries, man? I just need a couple. 361 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,816 Not my responsibility. 362 00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,734 He didn't have to order that crap. 363 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,404 We've got yogurt and salad on the menu! 364 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,823 Do you actually serve those items? 365 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,033 No. Mmm... 366 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:36,954 All right, kid, to make this right, 367 00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:39,790 I'm gonna hook you up with my personal trainer. 368 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:43,335 Billy, get this kid into superhero shape! 369 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,504 Hugh Jackman Wolverine? 370 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,797 I'm not made of money. 371 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,258 Alicia Silverstone Batgirl? 372 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,510 He's that now. 373 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,262 (tires screech) 374 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,307 (humming) 375 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,852 -(gasps) -Busy day at work? 376 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:03,272 Did you get a lot of work done, worker man? 377 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,024 What do I do? What do I do?! 378 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,067 Take her by those shoulders she never covers 379 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,986 and tell her the truth. 380 00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,196 You're right, Marge, I lied. 381 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,657 Don't give me that load of... Huh? 382 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,159 I got a head injury at work, 383 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,910 and they gave me eight weeks paid vacation. 384 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,830 Head injury?! Why didn't you tell me? 385 00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,999 And I spent all that time learning 386 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:24,126 how to be a better husband. 387 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:25,836 The kind of husband you deserve. 388 00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,338 Wha...? 389 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,591 Kiss her. Kiss her while I watch. 390 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,134 (gasps) 391 00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,303 (both moaning) 392 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,681 Mmm... 393 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,183 HOMER: The three of us are going 394 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:42,352 to the most romantic restaurant in town. 395 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,731 This car's so clean! 396 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,067 I'm not getting flea bites on my ankles! 397 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:51,779 I have bug-bombed the car for m'lady. 398 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,113 (giggles) 399 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,450 MARGE: Whoo! Whoo! 400 00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,787 -(grunts) -(gasps) 401 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,872 (groans) 402 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,541 We meet again! 403 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,293 Looking for this? 404 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,304 He won't be out for long. Flee, my love! 405 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,722 (panting) 406 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,224 Why is he trying to kill you, 407 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,392 and why did she call you her love? 408 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,852 It was all a training exercise 409 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,229 to make me smooth for you. 410 00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:27,815 Of course, she fell for me, and of course, I wanted no part of her. 411 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,026 Now the only one who can help us is Stradivarius Cain. 412 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,320 -The guy from the movie? -I'll explain later. 413 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,197 Strad, come back! 414 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,824 I know you're in there! 415 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,992 No. Not you. 416 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,661 Big fan, but no. 417 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:43,038 Cleatus the football robot, you're my only hope! 418 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,541 (Fox NFL theme plays) 419 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,090 No one likes you! 420 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,883 (machinery whirs) 421 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,136 DRUG LORD: How can a fat man hide so well? 422 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,348 (hushed) Strad, where are you? 423 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,935 You can handle him, Homer. 424 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,146 Just remember what I taught you. 425 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,524 When I was in special ops, 426 00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,025 they held me in an Afghan prison 427 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,028 where all I could see was a patch of blue sky. 428 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,864 But that blue was nothing compared 429 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,741 with the blue of your eyes. 430 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,536 I cannot kill a poet like you. 431 00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:25,038 And you are a very lucky woman. 432 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,875 This is why I always say "mingle at parties." 433 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,918 It's how I met Greg Kinnear. 434 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,962 Ay! With the Greg Kinnear again. 435 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,463 Can't friends talk about friends? 436 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,882 He is not your friend! 437 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,384 Then why did he say he'd call me when he comes to Bolivia? 438 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,553 (sighs) 439 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:41,221 We used to be like them. 440 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,764 Mmm. 441 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,185 So, how many more weeks do you have off? 442 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,729 Actually, I was supposed to be back last week. 443 00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,272 (laughs) 444 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:54,067 We'll just wait for the call from Human Resources. 445 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,075 I guess my work here is done. 446 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:07,623 But Stradivarius Cain will return in "Lisa Gets a B Plus." 447 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,042 (gunshot) 448 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,878 I knew you were mad at me. 449 00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,547 At the risk of inflaming Sister Fate, 450 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:19,134 this bully-free period has been an Arcadian idyll! 451 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,719 -Hear, hear! -Idyll! 452 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,137 (gasping) 453 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,389 -Ha-ha! -(grunts) 454 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,643 (gasping, clamoring) 455 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,395 (Nelson, kids grunting) 456 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,320 I administer with this nose! 457 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,239 This is a happy ending? 458 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,367 Well, he's tough on nerds, but easy on the eyes. 459 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:44,868 What'd you just say? 460 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,245 Nothing. 461 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,750 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 462 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,965 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay