1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,214 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:12,095 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,810 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,522 (Barney belches) 5 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,524 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,192 (yells) 7 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:31,948 (beeping) 8 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,830 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,170 (tires screeching) 10 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,964 D'oh! 11 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,299 (tires screeching) 12 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,425 (grunts) 13 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,765 (humming) 14 00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:09,736 {\an8}Learn Zone? Mom, you said we were going someplace fun. 15 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,404 {\an8}Yeah, Mom, you promised! 16 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,490 {\an8}Homer, I told you, don't call me "Mom." 17 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,283 {\an8}Sorry, Mrs. Simpson. 18 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,743 {\an8}(groans) 19 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,413 {\an8}(laughter) 20 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,040 {\an8}(excited vocalizing) 21 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:23,833 {\an8}-(whirring) -(children cheering) 22 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,001 {\an8}Ooh! 23 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,295 {\an8}This isn't a Learn Zone. 24 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:29,089 {\an8}Darn it, it's a fun place! 25 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,132 {\an8}-Yay! -(laughter) 26 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,553 {\an8}For maximum safety, all children must wear 27 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,555 {\an8}anti-kidnapping bracelets. 28 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,807 {\an8}(laughs) 29 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,559 {\an8}Is this a kid you'd pay ransom for? 30 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,812 {\an8}Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail? 31 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,313 {\an8}I don't know. Feed it to the dog? 32 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:46,523 {\an8}You'd have to wrap cheese around it. 33 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,942 {\an8}Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog! 34 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,694 {\an8}(laughter) 35 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,197 {\an8}(snoring) 36 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,992 {\an8}(whooping and laughter) 37 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,371 {\an8}-Whoa! -(screaming) 38 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,039 {\an8}Where do they go? 39 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,457 {\an8}Whoa! 40 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,836 {\an8}FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Mormon Church, 41 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,921 {\an8}America's most respectable cult. 42 00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:11,172 {\an8}(whooping and laughing) 43 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,549 {\an8}Keep an eye on the kids, Homer. 44 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,342 {\an8}Can I keep an eye on that kid? 45 00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,428 {\an8}He's fabulous. 46 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,013 {\an8}Bart and Lisa. 47 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,599 {\an8}Oh! It's always my kids. 48 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,184 {\an8}-Yay! -(laughing) 49 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:25,687 {\an8}Where'd they go? 50 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,355 {\an8}Oh. Hmm. 51 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,024 {\an8}Almost. 52 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,986 {\an8}Holy moley. 53 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:34,279 {\an8}What the...?! 54 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,574 {\an8}Oh, it's hopeless! 55 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:38,867 {\an8}What's hopeless? 56 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,451 {\an8}Who the hell are you? 57 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:43,037 {\an8}(laughter and cheering) 58 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,539 {\an8}-Dad, come up, come up! -Pretty, pretty please! 59 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,999 {\an8}Absolutely not! 60 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,418 {\an8}My adult frame is simply too large. 61 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,545 {\an8}-Come on, Dad! -No! Never! 62 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,298 {\an8}-Come on, Dad! -Fine. Here I come. (grunting) 63 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,216 {\an8}Crawling. 64 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,551 {\an8}So... painful. 65 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,596 {\an8}(grunting) Duck walk. 66 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,056 {\an8}Infinitely worse. Ooh! 67 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,558 {\an8}(grunting) 68 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,059 {\an8}(panting) 69 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,103 {\an8}Only wanted... to be fun. 70 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,648 {\an8}Shh, shh, shh. Soon you'll know peace. 71 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,988 {\an8}(panting) 72 00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,239 {\an8}I made it, kids! 73 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:22,076 {\an8}I am king of Learnington Castle! 74 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,245 {\an8}(laughing) We tricked you. 75 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,830 {\an8}Eat Nerf, Homeboy! 76 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:29,834 {\an8}Real... mature...! 77 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,044 {\an8}(grunts) 78 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,087 {\an8}Yay! (laughing) 79 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,464 {\an8}-Ralphie! -(Homer grunting) 80 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,257 {\an8}Shoes. 81 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,260 {\an8}Huh? Hmm. 82 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,095 {\an8}What cool kid thing's in here? 83 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,306 {\an8}No kids. That's what's cool. 84 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,476 {\an8}(humming) 85 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,271 {\an8}I have a phone. It's very tiny. 86 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,273 {\an8}Ain't no shame in being poor, boy. 87 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,485 {\an8}What's pitiful is if you is ignorant. 88 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,279 {\an8}Is these mice pillows here for the taking? 89 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,864 {\an8}I hate working here. 90 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,491 {\an8}At least at Krustyburger, 91 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,284 {\an8}you could burn yourself and go home. 92 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,787 {\an8}(siren blaring) 93 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,956 {\an8}MALE VOICE: Unauthorized child departure. 94 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,540 {\an8}Lockdown mode initiated. 95 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,292 {\an8}(gasping) 96 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,213 {\an8}(yelling) 97 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,507 {\an8}Another stupid kid got out. 98 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,425 {\an8}I can't tell the manager. 99 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,636 {\an8}I am the manager. Duh! 100 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,805 {\an8}We're locked in! 101 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,515 {\an8}(whirring) 102 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,351 {\an8}These lasers are nothing more than colored lights! 103 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,937 {\an8}Calm down, everyone. Calm down. 104 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,189 {\an8}I'm sure they'll have us out of here soon. 105 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,108 {\an8}Until then, why don't we bond 106 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,652 {\an8}by sharing our childbirth experiences. 107 00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:39,404 {\an8}The nurses were so great. 108 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,447 {\an8}My husband held my hand the whole time. 109 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,075 See? All you need to get through a crisis 110 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:46,536 is a little friendly conversation. 111 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,705 Bet you the dads are doing the same thing. 112 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,707 (clamoring) 113 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,836 The sneeze guard is broken! 114 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,796 There is no law! 115 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:59,257 Oh, I just came here to pick up my daughter. 116 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,217 But now I'm gonna kill you all! 117 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,885 (laughing maniacally) 118 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,762 Don't forget your jacket, sweetie. 119 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,389 (laughing maniacally) 120 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,643 Get out of there, you! 121 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,978 Never! 122 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,147 (screaming) 123 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,316 Mmm. Butter. 124 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:22,155 (clamoring) 125 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:25,325 (humming) 126 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,826 {\an8}Round and round. 127 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,494 Round and round. 128 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,956 Freedom! 129 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,250 (grunts) 130 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,626 MAN: Let's get out of here! Come on! 131 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,128 (loud chatter) 132 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:39,756 (hooting) 133 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,425 Apes. Deep down, we're all savage apes. 134 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,718 Leave your body, Homer. 135 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,348 What the hell was that? 136 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,932 (barking) 137 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,769 You've been through a traumatic experience. 138 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,104 Are you sure you want to go to work today? 139 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,898 Well, I've taken eight months off. 140 00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,525 It's time to get back on the horse. 141 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,321 (baby cooing) 142 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,697 (chittering) 143 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,658 -Ho, ho, ho. -(electrical buzzing) 144 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,620 Ho, ho, ho. 145 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,622 Hey, neighbor, your welcome mat's looking a little dusty. 146 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,624 Mind if I come over and sweeten your greetin'. 147 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,376 Sweeten your greetin'! 148 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,127 BOTH: Sweeten your greetin'. 149 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,046 ALL: Three Neds are better than one! 150 00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,130 (shrieks) 151 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,549 -(panting) -(crunch) 152 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,553 (grunting) 153 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,972 I hate to be a nag, but this is my real head. 154 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,933 (loud grunt) 155 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:39,273 I guess, despite all our so-called civilization, 156 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,234 anarchy lurks around every corner, 157 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,403 like a racially-diverse street gang 158 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,446 on a network cop show. 159 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:49,534 My friend, you just experienced W.R.O.L. firsthand. 160 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:52,620 Hey, hey, read the sign, pal-- no acronyms. 161 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:55,790 -And that goes for the rest of youse, too! -Okay, okay. 162 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:58,626 Hey, in this bar, we say "Old Kinderhook!" 163 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,922 -What's W.R.O.L.? -It means "Without the Rule of Law." 164 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,967 Anarchy. The end of civilization. 165 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,469 Coming soon to an America near you. 166 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:12,557 America can't collapse! We're as powerful as ancient Rome! 167 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,143 Ah, take a look at this. 168 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:19,063 NARRATOR: The modern world-- an inexorable march of progress. 169 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,398 Sweet. 170 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,650 -Or is it? -(screams) 171 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:26,571 {\an8}We're slaves to the system. Close the supermarket, and we starve. 172 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,240 {\an8}Cut off the tap, we drink our cat's blood. 173 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:31,784 (dramatic music playing) 174 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:41,085 NARRATOR: Who will survive in this new world? 175 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:44,255 The man who is prepared. 176 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:55,850 (upbeat tune plays) 177 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,143 Oh, my God! 178 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,895 This unsourced, undated video 179 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,105 has convinced me beyond any doubt! 180 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:05,276 And I'm the guy you want to know when the stuff hits the fan. 181 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,612 Hey, man, no need to almost swear. 182 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,030 Come with me. 183 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,699 Well, Homer's gone. 184 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:14,994 Let's all go into our suspended state till he gets back. 185 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,462 Homer, meet the Springfield Preppers. 186 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:27,215 Preppies? Oh, I hate you guys! 187 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:30,134 Always partying on deck with your Docksiders 188 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,720 while us townies are scrubbing the bilge! 189 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,514 Not preppies. Preppers. 190 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,724 But I like your hatred. 191 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,226 It's based on nothing. 192 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,644 That's super. 193 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:43,397 Now, Homer, what would you do in the case of an E.M.P.? 194 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,568 Electromagnetic pulse. 195 00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,363 A burst of radiation 196 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,573 that knocks out every electrical system in the country. 197 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,908 I'd slash my wrists. 198 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,868 But how, without my electric knife?! 199 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,412 There is an alternative to suicide. 200 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,331 Mm. I can't conceive of any. 201 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,668 We can teach you the skills you need to survive any crisis. 202 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,586 -Ooh. -All we ask 203 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,547 is that you keep your prepping secret. 204 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,508 We won't have room for all the unprepared. 205 00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:14,011 Don't worry. I'm very good at keeping secrets. 206 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,180 "...impending doom." 207 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,349 -What you reading, Dad? -(screams) 208 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:20,017 Honey, everything's fine. 209 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,477 There's nothing to worry about. 210 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,020 When grown-ups say that, 211 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,314 it means there is something to worry about. 212 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,066 Just go play your saxophone. 213 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,526 While you can. 214 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,610 What does that mean? 215 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,029 Secrets?! I have no secrets! 216 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,823 Just enjoy this golden time 217 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,576 you will soon cling desperately to the memory of. 218 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,703 Smell some bread! 219 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,164 When things go south, 220 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,710 the sheeple will clean out every supermarket in town. 221 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,128 Typical sheeple. 222 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:50,798 Uh... are you eating my grain? 223 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,633 Maybe. 224 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,219 That was a five-pound bag! 225 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,054 Yeah, but I'll go home, weigh myself, 226 00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,057 and I'll have gained six pounds. What's that about? 227 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,767 ♪ Prep, prep, prep ♪ 228 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,436 (humming) 229 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,313 Hey, Dad, are we going camping? 230 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,608 I guess an open garage isn't the best hiding place. 231 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,610 What's up? Going crazy again? 232 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,069 (scoffs) I wish. 233 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,488 Son, the best way to explain this is 234 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,325 to show you some age-inappropriate movies. 235 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,292 So, what have you learned so far 236 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,753 from our post-apocalyptic movie marathon? 237 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:32,256 Guys who call themselves Preacher or Deacon are very bad. 238 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,009 Water is money, unless gasoline is money. 239 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:38,012 And even though lots of things are razor-sharp, no one ever shaves. 240 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,598 Hollywood has taught you well, my son. 241 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,017 Now let's push play. 242 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:48,230 Now the Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills 243 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,859 will teach you the true meaning of cold! 244 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,863 (laughing maniacally) 245 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:59,367 I have come from a place where the land is warm, 246 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:03,079 and the only ice is made by machines called... 247 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,623 fridge-ra-torrs. 248 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:09,460 ALL (chanting): Fridge-ra-torrs! Fridge-ra-torrs! 249 00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,545 Fridge-ra-torrs! 250 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,339 Aren't they just saying "refrigerator"? 251 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,467 Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt. 252 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,178 Here it is, Homer. 253 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,430 The Springfield Preppers' top secret Bug-Out Retreat. 254 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,432 Wow! Your end of the world 255 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,893 is better than my during the world. 256 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,187 Homer, we all know America's collapse 257 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,064 is about three months away. 258 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,774 Six weeks at most. 259 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,651 There's always one alarmist. 260 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,361 Anyway, when the Four Horsemen ride, 261 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:38,072 we want you and your collaterals right here with us. 262 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:41,701 Aw. Uh, listen, I've got to know-- 263 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,452 you're not just being nice to me 264 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,080 because in a pinch you could make candles from my fat? 265 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,498 Well, that is a big part of it. 266 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:49,667 It's okay. I know what I am. 267 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,129 MARGE: Hmm? 268 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,673 I can't find all our cereal, crackers, 269 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,300 juice boxes, the butter brush... 270 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:02,138 Um... a lot of that stuff must've got lost in the move. 271 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,056 What move? We haven't moved. 272 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,558 What's going on? 273 00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:09,395 Oh! I want to tell you, but I promised to keep it a secret. 274 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:12,314 You can't have secrets from your wife! 275 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,484 It's very late in the marriage to tell me that. 276 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:19,071 I've hidden all our supplies behind a fake wall. 277 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,407 I thought the basement looked cleaner. 278 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,826 See? These are our bug-out bags. 279 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,245 In here is everything we need to survive. 280 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,329 Survive what? 281 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,749 The looming kablooey. 282 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:33,043 It's reassuring to see you're aware of the future, 283 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,755 but this is all a little... creepy. 284 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,966 Creepy?! Marge, the apocalypse is coming. 285 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:42,261 Maybe not tomorrow, maybe never, but it's coming. 286 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,763 And soon. 287 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,765 I'm going to bed. 288 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,562 There's no handle on this side! 289 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,274 The one thing I couldn't prepare for. 290 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,696 Oh, these here are my snack chips. 291 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,282 Your cheese puffs. Those are doodles. 292 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:06,452 I will eat anything orange, except an orange. 293 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,621 (siren blaring, clattering) 294 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,956 And that's how you deliver a baby calf 295 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,793 with a bathroom plunger. Mm-hmm. 296 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,797 (siren blaring) 297 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,298 (electrical buzzing) 298 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,841 (clippers stop) 299 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,719 -An E.M.P.?! -You know what that means! 300 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,055 Hand scissors. 301 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,224 (electrical buzzing) 302 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,600 (gasps) 303 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:30,893 (gasping) 304 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,937 (all muttering) 305 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,608 (electrical buzzing) 306 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:38,984 Oh. 307 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,697 (sighs) 308 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,284 -(humming) -(electrical buzzing) 309 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,333 ♪♪ 310 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,378 (electrical buzzing) 311 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,257 (clamoring) 312 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:05,261 All electronics in Springfield have been disabled. 313 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,930 Even the musical greeting cards. 314 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,890 (clamoring) 315 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,934 This is it. Bug-out time. 316 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,312 Everyone but us is doomed. 317 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,481 I am so jazzed. 318 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,358 (high-pitched giggling) 319 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,068 Mr. Mayor, what's your administration doing 320 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,778 to ensure there's no panic? 321 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,364 I don't know. What is your administration doing? 322 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:26,574 There you have it. 323 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,909 A town without rules, without leadership, 324 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,369 without television. 325 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:32,872 This is Kent Brockman, talking to himself. 326 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,292 Marge, this is it, TEOTWAWKI! 327 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,961 (gasps) "The end of the world as we know it"? 328 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,337 Uh-huh. Where's the kids? 329 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,214 Lisa and Maggie are downstairs, 330 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,216 and Bart's in his room with Milhouse. 331 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,093 {\an8}Boy, get in the car, 332 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,053 {\an8}and say good-bye to your best friend forever. 333 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,639 {\an8}-Bye forever, Milhouse. -See you, Bart. 334 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,642 Mmm. 335 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,060 This is my daughter. 336 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,314 She brings the gift of music to the new world. 337 00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,400 -Is that sax alto or baritone? -Baritone. 338 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,320 This is gonna be a long apocalypse. 339 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:05,738 Ay, caramba! 340 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,239 Ay, caramba indeed. 341 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,617 Dad, how are we supposed to spend the rest of our lives here? 342 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,076 We're already bored. 343 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,162 Here's something to pass the endless time. 344 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,663 Write down which celebrities 345 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,916 were rumored to be gay for future generations. 346 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,334 Yes, sir. 347 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:22,922 Society will not have to start from square one. 348 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,550 (groaning) 349 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,761 Homie, I never thought we'd turn our backs 350 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,847 on our loved ones at the first hint of trouble. 351 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,683 Marge, when I started prepping for the end of the world, 352 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,352 everyone laughed at me. 353 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,313 No one was laughing. You kept it a secret! 354 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:42,149 Well, just because I imagined it, doesn't make it any less true. 355 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,985 And now all those people are on their own. 356 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,363 How can you call yourself a Christian? 357 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,699 If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today. 358 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,534 Homer Simpson! 359 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,703 When I fell in love with you, 360 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,165 it was because of your big heart and your good looks. 361 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:01,543 But some day, those good looks are gonna fade. 362 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,670 What?! 363 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,381 Soon we'll be approached 364 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,841 by people who haven't prepared. 365 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,052 Now, do not look at their faces. 366 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,054 That can trigger feelings and emotions, 367 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,807 which have no place 368 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:18,477 in Civilization 2.0: Rise of the Weirdos. 369 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,604 I may have solved that problem. 370 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,439 This rifle scope I modified 371 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,776 makes any human face look dangerous and threatening. 372 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,323 Boom. 373 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,075 Why do we have to shoot them at all? 374 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,202 Are you that good with a knife? 375 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:38,664 No! I want to help the people who didn't prepare. 376 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,000 Boom. Boom. 377 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,002 -Boom. -What'd you shoot me for? 378 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,587 You were thinking I'd gone mad with power, weren't you?! 379 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,297 I wasn't, but I am now. 380 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,757 Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom. 381 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,097 (snoring) 382 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,851 -(muffled horn honking) -(others gasp) 383 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,102 Oh, God, now what? 384 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:03,105 Every time you wake us up early in the morning, 385 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,941 it's either church or we have to change our identities. 386 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,610 Don't be silly, Mary Ellen. 387 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,237 Now, we're going to leave this place. 388 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,282 I'm sorry, Bart. I know you've made a bug-out camp girlfriend. 389 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,742 I've got to be honest with you. 390 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,952 It was just a bag of rice I drew a face on. 391 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,871 -White rice or brown? -I never noticed. 392 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:19,955 Good boy. 393 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,874 So we'll take these supplies 394 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:24,710 back to Springfield, where they're needed most. 395 00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:27,129 You're a good man, Homer Simpson. 396 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,633 (alarm blaring) 397 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,635 You said you cut the wires to the alarm. 398 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,971 Hmm, I cut the wires to something. 399 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,484 Okay, everybody, keep your eyes peeled 400 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:52,654 for an unlit mile post marked "23" or "36" or something. 401 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,989 If we miss it, we're dead. 402 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,075 Dad, there are lights following us. 403 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,744 How can that be? I took every last can of gas. 404 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:01,997 (horses whinnying) 405 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,754 Now, everyone relax and pretend we're about to be hit 406 00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,089 by a soft brick wall. 407 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,256 (screaming) 408 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,008 Out of our way, corn! 409 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,885 The starving people of Springfield 410 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,179 are desperately in need of our delivery of canned corn, 411 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:20,599 corn flakes and flash frozen corn niblets! 412 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,191 (tires squealing) 413 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,653 I'm proud of you. 414 00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:36,281 Society may have crumbled, but our decency hasn't. 415 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,992 Now to save these sorry souls from a life of anarchy, 416 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:42,371 starvation, and having sex for procreation. 417 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,207 Huh? 418 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,047 Huh? Everything's normal. 419 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,466 The world didn't end! 420 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,928 Dad, you said people would be drinking each other's blood. 421 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:01,765 You got to watch a VHS copy of Red Dawn 13 times! 422 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,642 Stop complaining! 423 00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,352 What happened with the E.M.P.? 424 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:07,604 Only Springfield lost power, 425 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,315 you see, and after a few days, it came back. 426 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,901 Maybe a little bit brighter. (mutters) 427 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,154 And the spirit of neighborly cooperation broke out 428 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:18,073 as if all the weird, angry people had left. 429 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,992 Then society didn't crumble? 430 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,077 The zoo animals weren't eaten? 431 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,912 No-- well, a couple. 432 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,083 This non-disaster is a catastrophe! 433 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,378 Are you really so disappointed the world didn't end, 434 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,338 just so you could be proven right? 435 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,798 No, no. 436 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,009 It's just that, in the new world, 437 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,344 I would have been a big shot. 438 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,972 Well, not for long. Me and the others were planning 439 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,558 to overthrow you and seal you in a cave. 440 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,935 Yeah, but what you didn't know 441 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,271 was I was gonna poison all your drinking water. 442 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,524 Which is why I'm only drinking my own urine. 443 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,526 (groans) 444 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,613 Guys, can't you see that even an imperfect society 445 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,616 is better than the savagery of creating a new one? 446 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,951 I for one am glad we're stuck with civilization, 447 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:07,206 and I think we will be for a long, long time. 448 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,883 I'm hungry. 449 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,968 Look, you can have potato chips now, 450 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,805 or if you wait ten minutes, you can have all the brains you can eat. 451 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,225 -I want both. -(groans) 452 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,147 -(murmuring) -Shh. 453 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,945 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay