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CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'oh.
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(grunts)
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{\an8}(thunder booming)
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{\an8}"In this exciting strategy game,
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{\an8}you amass resources--
timber, salt fish and wax--
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{\an8}to fund a syndicate to gain influence
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{\an8}with the Doges of Venice."
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{\an8}Doges? Why do we have to play
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{\an8}this stupid game Lisa likes?
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{\an8}I don't like this game.
Nobody likes this game.
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{\an8}Even the kids on the box look bored.
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{\an8}They're miserable.
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{\an8}We have to do something
until the storm passes.
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{\an8}Now, just fill out these customs forms,
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{\an8}and we can get started.
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{\an8}(gasps) Twister!
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{\an8}No! Whenever we play that,
my elbow touches Dad's junk.
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{\an8}No! Outside the house!
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{\an8}(all screaming)
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{\an8}(grunts) Here, boy!
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{\an8}Come here, boy!
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{\an8}(grunting)
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{\an8}Get in there.
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{\an8}You live like this?
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{\an8}Ooh, dear Lord,
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{\an8}if thy tornado must take me,
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{\an8}please let it take me to Oz.
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{\an8}But don't let Flanders be the scarecrow.
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{\an8}(gasps) We made it, boy.
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{\an8}-(yelping)
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
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{\an8}This counts as a walk!
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{\an8}The tornado took old what's-his-name.
I'm going after him.
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{\an8}No, Homie, it's too dangerous.
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{\an8}(knocking on glass)
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{\an8}Hey, Homer, we were just
doing a little storm chasing.
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{\an8}Lenny, take us with you to find our dog.
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{\an8}It's okay, Marge, they're professionals.
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{\an8}What? 'Cause they rented a van
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{\an8}and taped an antenna to the top?
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{\an8}(scoffs) Not just any tape. Duct tape.
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{\an8}Oh, all right.
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{\an8}But I'm coming with you
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{\an8}to make sure no one does anything stupid.
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{\an8}Don't worry, Marge,
we bought a ton of safety gear
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{\an8}from a highly-respected
storm chaser's widow.
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{\an8}-(gasps)
-It's not what you're thinking.
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{\an8}He died of a heart attack.
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{\an8}Yeah, 80 feet up in the air.
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{\an8}Behold, the awesome nonsense of nature.
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{\an8}Okay, the tornado that took your dog
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{\an8}looked like an F3 moving westerly.
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{\an8}I guess you do know your weather.
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{\an8}Ha! That means a lot coming from such
an attractive woman as you.
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{\an8}I'd say she's prettier
than a surface hoar.
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{\an8}Hey!
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{\an8}Surely, you didn't misunderstand
my usage of "surface hoar."
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{\an8}The sublimation of ice crystals
that's colder than a frost point.
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{\an8}Maybe.
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{\an8}Look, you guys obviously
know about weather,
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{\an8}but I understand something
much more predictable: women.
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{\an8}What women really want
is a guy who's confident enough
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{\an8}to go completely downhill after marriage
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{\an8}and know she'll still love him.
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{\an8}I'll tell you what women really want:
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{\an8}a man who can hold a note the longest.
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{\an8}That is the stupidest...
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{\an8}One, two, three, go.
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{\an8}(all holding single note)
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(all continue holding note)
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Homer, you do not have to compete
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with your friends for me.
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I would never do that.
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(resumes vocalizing)
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-Enough with the singing.
-(all stop vocalizing)
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Fine, but I swear,
I will win you back from Lenny.
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'Nado!
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Ooh.
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It's like God's vacuum cleaner.
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(laughing)
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We're cutting it kind of close.
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Not to worry-- we're safe in the van.
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Anyone want their seat warmer?
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(gasps) It's gone.
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Help me, God.
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What is it I'm paying you for
every Sunday?
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(Marge screaming)
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Can... always use...
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a good babysitter.
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I was just 27 years from retirement!
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Oh, my God, the twister got Carl,
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my best friend in the world.
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I can barely remember what he looks like.
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He was a black guy,
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but his voice sounded like a white guy.
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Hey, excuse me for wanting to fit in.
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And here comes Santa's Little Helper.
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Homie, we made it.
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(both scream)
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Oh, my God.
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NELSON: Ha ha!
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You're trapped in there good.
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Once again, the big banks
stick it to the little guy.
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-(both grunting)
-Come on.
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Are you pushing?
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Yes, it won't give.
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(sighs)
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I don't know if we're going
to be able to get out.
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(squeaking)
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What are you writing?
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Maybe the last words I'll ever write.
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Oh.
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Lenny, you calling for help?
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Let them have their moment.
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{\an8}Kent Brockman here
at death's revolving door.
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{\an8}Police have arrived on the scene
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{\an8}after having fled the state
at the first sign of the storm.
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Bulletproof, as I somewhat suspected.
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But don't you worry,
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we're having a very expensive crane
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brought in from Shelbyville.
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What is this, a bird?
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It's a bird known as a crane.
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And it got very sick on the way over.
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Well, our top priority
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is making sure that bird gets well.
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Hey! Hello!
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As for you, your only hope
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is this glass cutting guy
from the hardware store.
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You guys want to come out
in a plain circle
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or a kind of a rosette shape?
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Just cut the glass.
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Everybody wants it done
yesterday. (chuckles)
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(groans)
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WIGGUM: Uh, now we're ordering some lunch.
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Uh, want to go halfsies on a pizza?
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FYI, that means you get one slice.
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Okay, wise guy, you get to pull out
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the two corpses when we're done.
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Except for the face full of glass
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when the door finally collapsed,
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he did a pretty good job.
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Found another one.
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It was so scary thinking something
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might happen to you guys.
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Mom, I am so glad you're alive.
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Were you worried about me, boy?
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Sure. Why not?
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(stammers angrily)
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Clearly, the boy's in shock.
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(chuckling) Oh, yeah, I'm a wreck.
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-Stop being blasé.
-Never!
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Now, I know you kids
are scared by what happened,
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but it's bedtime.
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Just go into your dark rooms
and shut your eyes.
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(kids groaning)
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Homie, if we did both die,
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we've never named guardians.
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The kids could end up wards of the state.
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-Connecticut?
-No, our state.
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(screams) Okay, you're right.
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It's hard to imagine
anyone else bringing up our kids,
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but I think the choice is obvious:
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my dad.
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Oh, you'd let me have another chance
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after the way I screwed
things up with you?
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Eh, good point.
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We'll find somebody else.
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Yep, you're a big bag of blubber
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soaked in worthless juice.
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I got it, Dad.
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Why I married you I'll never know.
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Oh, yeah?
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The tornado was more of a father
to me than you.
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Okay, how about my brother?
He's rich.
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(beep)
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Hi. You've reach Herb Powell.
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I'm poor again.
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(startled grunt)
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There's really only one choice,
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or should I say two identical choices?
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Sugar?
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Oh, how very kind of you.
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I'm not giving our kids
to these gravelly-voiced super hags.
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One lump, please.
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Homer, my sisters adopted Ling,
and she's doing great.
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We've been tiger-mothering her.
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Ling, music time.
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♪♪
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Ling, floor routine.
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More syncopated. Stick the landing!
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And no resenting us ever.
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That's some impressive flute-nastics.
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Shut up! You can't praise her.
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She'll think she's smart and slack off.
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Then all our loving would be for nothing.
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Mmm, maybe we'd better go.
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Didn't you want to ask us something?
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Good-bye forever.
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(whispering) Help me.
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I think it's time to go off family.
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KIRK: Luanne and I have gone
through some rough patches,
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so to be seen as stable enough
to raise your kids, well,
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it would be an honor.
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You know what else
would be an honor?
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Having a husband who asks my opinion
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before inviting in
three more mouths he can't feed.
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Hey, Luanne, you always asked me
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what I saw in Vicky at the Walgreens.
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00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,502
Well, I'll tell you what I saw: not you!
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You told me
you didn't even know her name.
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00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,048
Well, that's her name, okay?
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00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,383
BRANDINE: Let me get this straight.
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We have 17 kids, and you want us
215
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,719
to take three more?
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00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:17,473
Anything new that wanders into this house
winds up in the stew pot.
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Hey, I'm so sorry,
but we just adopted a baby.
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Give me back my pants.
219
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:24,981
I've got to get back to my unit.
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Someone's cranky.
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All right, Marge,
maybe we're being a little too choosy
222
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,655
about who our kids
spend the rest of their lives with.
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We'll take what we can get.
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(gasping)
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00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,371
Uh-oh.
I wonder if word has gotten out
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00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,623
that we're looking for guardians.
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(grunts, growls)
228
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:53,426
Ah!
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Go! Go!
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(tires squealing)
231
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,432
(beeping)
232
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:03,978
(people screaming)
233
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,564
(people screaming)
234
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,109
(people screaming)
235
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,279
(dog howling)
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00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,073
(people screaming)
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(hums, grunts)
238
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,247
(Dr. Hibbert chuckling)
239
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(airplane flying overhead)
240
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All right, the coast is clear.
241
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,925
(relieved murmuring)
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00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,347
Wait a minute, I live here. Aw.
243
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,484
-Where are we going?
-And why are we wearing our good clothes?
244
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,152
With name tags on them.
245
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,822
Kids, there's nothing to worry about.
246
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(walrus barking)
247
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But we're looking at replacements
for your mom and me
248
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:06,374
if we should fail
to die together as a family.
249
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,334
Oh, I see.
You guys are trying to find
250
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:09,460
a couple of saps to take us
251
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,504
when Dad has a coronary
in the dead of night,
252
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,089
rolls over and crushes Mom.
253
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,507
This is not that,
254
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,217
and that smart-alecky attitude
255
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,260
is exactly why no one wants you.
256
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,097
Homer, dual incomes, no kids at 2:00.
257
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,932
(gasps) Ooh.
258
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,810
Okay, I'll nudge them with the car.
259
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,521
We'll get a whole "meet cute" thing going.
260
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:30,815
(gasping)
261
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,441
Aah! What the hell are you doing?
262
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,110
Keith, relax.
263
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,696
Look at those adorable children.
264
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,615
Hmm, I think I hear a slight accent.
265
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,950
Mid-Atlantic.
266
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,202
(gasps)
That's where they filmed The Wire!
267
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,121
-Step on it!
-(tires squealing)
268
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,457
This is a pretty important decision.
269
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,959
How about asking that Japanese guy
270
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,919
who set the world record
for eating hot dogs?
271
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,838
He's like a successful version of Dad.
272
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,297
(groans)
273
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,299
Maybe we should just give up for now,
274
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,386
have some fried clams
and collect sea glass.
275
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,596
Wait, what about that couple?
276
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,390
They look pretty cozy.
277
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,559
That's Moe and a bag of garbage.
278
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,811
-Boy, cats sure breed a lot.
-(meowing)
279
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,730
(yells)
280
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:11,981
Why would you do that to me
281
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,899
after I thought about feeding you?
282
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,360
(grunts) Mmm.
283
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:19,613
(laughing)
284
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,119
Whoa, look at that guy.
285
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,175
Yo, I'm Mav.
286
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,886
Wow, a man's stomach can be flat?
287
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,804
It's one of the, like,
awesome side effects
288
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,556
of being a pro surfer.
289
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,016
Wow.
290
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,226
Someone's smitten.
291
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,353
Whoa, way to shralp the crispies, babe.
292
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,772
My wife, Portia.
293
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:53,981
Another surfer?
294
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:55,524
Environmental lawyer.
295
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,610
(sighing)
296
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,737
And in my free time,
I prosecute record companies
297
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,947
who withhold royalties
from elderly blues musicians.
298
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,699
(sighing continues)
299
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,284
(grunting)
300
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,749
Um, why don't we discuss it over dinner?
301
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:12,750
Discuss what?
302
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,126
Things that you're desperately missing
303
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,045
from your life
that you never knew you needed.
304
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,671
Cool. See you at 6:00.
305
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,548
(birds cawing)
306
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,802
So, surfing is really your job?
307
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,387
Yeah, I earned a couple million
on the tour last year.
308
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,306
Just for standing on a thing?
309
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:31,143
Mmm. Wow.
310
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,103
Your house is perfect.
311
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,480
No sharp corners,
312
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,358
no unsafe balconies, a cool grandpa.
313
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:38,776
I love two things:
314
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,820
shutting up and giving away money.
315
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,823
Ooh, thanks, Dad.
316
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,741
What's that stone around your neck?
317
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,034
It's a promise stone.
318
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,161
It signifies that
if I ever get to be a burden,
319
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,704
I just jump in a volcano.
320
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,081
Wow.
321
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:55,543
I assumed the Jackson Five
were the only perfect family,
322
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,920
but now I see there's another.
323
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:01,090
Princeton, B.A., Oxford, M.A.
324
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,466
I smell a Rhodes.
325
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:03,801
No, I turned it down
326
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,761
because Cecil Rhodes was such a racist.
327
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,429
(sighs)
328
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,223
Uh, say, listen, Portia.
329
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,892
How would you and Mav feel about...
330
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,061
um, swinging?
331
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,771
Uh, with you guys?
332
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,314
Uh, seems like my husband
333
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,066
would be getting
the much better deal.
334
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,317
No, no, no.
335
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,528
I-I meant pushing kids on swings.
336
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,697
Give me a minute to get
some images out of my mind.
337
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,824
Okay, take whatever time you need.
338
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:30,452
I just want to know if you'd
like to be their guardians.
339
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,330
Wow. Wow, that's quite an offer.
340
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,124
This is so fast.
341
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:38,544
It's so hard to get to know a child
after just one day. I...
342
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:41,171
All you need to know
is I'm a politeness monster
343
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,674
who eats please
and farts thank-yous, ma'am.
344
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:47,303
I'm exactly the kind of kid
he's pretending to be.
345
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,806
(belches)
346
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,141
Hmm.
347
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,560
Babe, when a killer wave hits,
you can't spend your whole life
348
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:56,520
deciding if you want to drop in or not.
349
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,273
It just might be the most
righteous tube we ever shot.
350
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,526
Man, you sure can talk surfer talk.
351
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,945
Okay, we'll give some serious
thought to taking them.
352
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,781
Maybe this will help you
make up your mind.
353
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,534
It's empty.
354
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,662
You never know when you
might want to mail something.
355
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,207
Homie,
356
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,919
it's been a wonderful day,
357
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,754
but do you think maybe we're moving
358
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,589
a little too quickly?
359
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,215
Worrywart Marge.
360
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,885
You don't look a Trojan horse
in the mouth.
361
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,721
(laughter)
362
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,973
But we know so little about them.
363
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,600
I swear to you, Marge,
364
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:37,603
when I have the time,
I will Google them both.
365
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,942
It's all good, brah.
366
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,944
Hey, where's Bart?
367
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,446
Oh, uh, well, he wanted to be here,
368
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:49,823
but I'm going to decrease
the volume of my voice
369
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,992
and mumble so you can't really
understand what I'm saying,
370
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,869
and I'll just keep doing it
until the subject...
371
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,996
Your father says I need to keep you lashed
372
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,582
to the mast for five more arrrs.
373
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:02,086
-Is that arrrs or hours?
-Both.
374
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,545
Great.
375
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,255
And now my dad can notarize.
376
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,758
I still have my uses.
377
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,426
Mm-hmm.
378
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,845
-Name another.
-(groans)
379
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,014
Well, I must admit
380
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,433
it's a relief to get that taken care of.
381
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,812
Now I can finally complete my bucket list.
382
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,438
(chuckles)
383
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,774
Homer, Marge,
384
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,234
we have a favor to ask.
385
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,027
Too late! You already signed!
386
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,321
Oh, wait, there's one more.
387
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,409
Suckers!
388
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,494
Oh, wait, you've got to initial this.
389
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,580
Checkmate.
390
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,374
(chuckles) Listen, Homer,
391
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:42,209
we just wanted to know
if we could borrow the kids
392
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:43,585
for a weekend at our ski house.
393
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,379
We thought they could
pick out their bedrooms.
394
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:46,964
A whole weekend?
395
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,298
I don't know.
396
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,759
Hey, if they can watch them
for the rest of their lives,
397
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,803
they can certainly do it
for a weekend.
398
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,013
I guess.
399
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:56,140
As long as we don't make it a habit.
400
00:16:56,223 --> 00:17:00,269
Marge, no indulgence of mine
ever becomes a habit.
401
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,943
Do you have to do that in front of people?
402
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,528
It helps me write.
403
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,947
♪ Just the two of us ♪
404
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,742
♪ We can make it if we try ♪
405
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,952
♪ Just the two of us ♪
406
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,621
{\an8}♪ Just the two of us ♪
407
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,041
Marge, this has been great couples time.
408
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:26,336
The one thing people with kids
desperately need is no kids.
409
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,963
Well, at least we have time
410
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,965
to get the pets' Christmas presents.
411
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,217
I don't like the way
they just rip the paper off.
412
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,636
Santa's Little Helper, my ass.
413
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,888
(gasps)
414
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:37,264
Hmm?
415
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:39,767
(gasps)
416
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,645
My God.
417
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,689
They want to steal our kids.
418
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:48,067
No one steals my kids,
419
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,527
except me, from that theme park jail
420
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,905
that I never told you about,
except I guess I just did.
421
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,531
We're all caught up now. Let's go.
422
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,455
MARGE: It all makes sense now.
423
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,124
That's why they took our kids so quick.
424
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,793
Like all childless couples,
425
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,920
they troll the beaches waiting
for the egg-layers
426
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,172
to wander off from their young.
427
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,673
She's gonna raise three kids
428
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,634
without wrecking that perfect figure.
429
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,135
Oh, yeah, man.
430
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,387
-(groans)
-Don't worry, Marge.
431
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:18,806
We'll get them.
432
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,766
Unless we die on this icy mountain road.
433
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,726
Then they've won forever.
434
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,229
Homie, I just had a horrible thought.
435
00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:26,396
(chuckles)
436
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,524
Women and their horrible thoughts.
437
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:31,401
What if they are better
for the kids than us?
438
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,570
Marge, let me set your mind
straight about something.
439
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,364
That spectacular young couple
440
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,741
is definitely better for the kids,
441
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,952
but those kids are ours,
442
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,954
because we made them
443
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,163
by accident.
444
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,957
And now we're gonna take them back
445
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,333
because we love them,
446
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,752
especially now that we've had
a little time apart from them.
447
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,004
-(crashing)
-(Marge groans)
448
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,590
I've got a bone to pick with you.
449
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,385
Then an apology to make.
450
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,637
Then we exchange insurance information.
451
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,265
Then more bone picking.
452
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,935
Homer, Marge, I understand your anger,
453
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,146
but your kids are more awesome
454
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,106
than the breaks at Waimea.
455
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,859
Those better be good breaks.
456
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,027
Honestly, we fell in love with them,
457
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:17,030
and it just seemed like you guys
didn't really want them.
458
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,783
Sure, you wanted the fun parts,
but do you want to go
459
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,536
to their little league games
and recitals?
460
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,955
-We totally have.
-Like clockwork.
461
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,665
Well, I'm glad someone has.
462
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,750
Look, before anyone says anything else,
463
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,171
how could you possibly think
you could get our kids?
464
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,964
It happens more than you know, Marge.
465
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,674
I'm a lawyer; he's a surfer.
466
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,885
That combination's pretty unstoppable.
467
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:38,969
BART: Well, I'm afraid
468
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:41,221
that we don't want to be
with anyone but Mom
469
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,973
and whoever she chooses to be with.
470
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,309
Portia, you're the woman
I dream of becoming,
471
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:47,019
but Mom is my mom.
472
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,438
Fine, but you're leaving a gap
in our lives
473
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,148
that can only be filled
by foreign travel,
474
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,025
sleeping late and gourmet food.
475
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,234
You guys lock up.
476
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,694
We're going to Bali.
477
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,237
(groans) Again.
478
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,614
We've won!
479
00:19:58,697 --> 00:19:59,865
(flatly) Whoo-hoo.
480
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,286
Kids, your father and I have decided
481
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,456
we're not in such a hurry
to get you guardians.
482
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,291
Instead of concentrating on dying,
483
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:12,211
we're going to concentrate on living.
484
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:13,670
If you call this living.
485
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,423
-Why, you little...
-(choking, grunting)
486
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,592
I do call this living.
487
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:22,596
Living the way kids in India
can only dream of.
488
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:26,642
There is nothing like
your biological family.
489
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:35,776
{\an8}(Homer, Lenny and Carl
holding single note)
490
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,157
{\an8}(Lenny and Carl coughing)
491
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,034
{\an8}(Homer continues holding note)
492
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:45,327
{\an8}HOMER: I win.
493
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,703
{\an8}LENNY: Win what?
494
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,455
{\an8}HOMER: I forget.
495
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,147
-(murmuring)
-Shh!
496
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,945
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay