1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:06,214 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,341 (theme music playing) 3 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:09,843 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,137 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 5 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,309 (belches) 6 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,109 (tennis ball thudding) 7 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,737 {\an8}ANNOUNCER (on TV): It's been a brilliant day of women's tennis, 8 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,364 {\an8}with Petrevkova narrowly edging Mashakova. 9 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,533 We take you now to doubles action 10 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,952 between Pavlyuchenkeka-Vilnikova 11 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,205 and Strakova-Mishtnupetrateva. 12 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,540 {\an8}(laughs) 13 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,876 {\an8}To me, it's legs versus boobs. 14 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,671 {\an8}What the-- Change the channel? 15 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,882 {\an8}But I'm watching soft-core tennis. 16 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,635 {\an8}-BOTH: Ki-Ya Karate Monsters! -What the hell is that? 17 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,472 {\an8}-It's our favorite show. -Mom said we could watch it. 18 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,973 {\an8}Did she really say that? 19 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,975 {\an8}Are you gonna walk upstairs and ask her? 20 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,483 {\an8}(thunder rumbles) 21 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,817 {\an8}-No. -(theme song playing on TV) 22 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,778 {\an8}NARRATOR (on TV): From a Shaolin monastery 23 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:12,822 {\an8}in darkest Transylvania come helpful hell-spawn. 24 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:16,659 {\an8}With homicidal honor, they rampage for peace. 25 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,036 {\an8}Ki-Ya! 26 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,579 {\an8}BOTH: Ki-Ya! 27 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,081 {\an8}You like this now? 28 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,166 {\an8}What about Planet Jackson and the Earth Brigade? 29 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,794 {\an8}Dad, we don't watch that show anymore. 30 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,087 {\an8}It's for babies. 31 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,175 {\an8}TOY: Planet power! 32 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,426 {\an8}(Bart and Lisa grunting) 33 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,096 {\an8}-Kung Fu Werewolf chop! -Blob Jitsu kick! 34 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:39,599 {\an8}Stop it. No Karate Monsters at the dinner table. 35 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:41,851 {\an8}It's Ki-Ya Karate Monsters. 36 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,813 {\an8}Samurai shampoo blast! 37 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,356 {\an8}Ninja throwing soap! 38 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,858 {\an8}No Karate Monsters in the bathtub. 39 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,027 {\an8}Ki-Ya Karate Monsters. 40 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,278 {\an8}-HOMER: Happy birthday, Dad. -BART: Happy birthday. 41 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,988 {\an8}LISA: Happy birthday, Grampa. 42 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,115 {\an8}(Grampa gasps) 43 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,200 {\an8}Did this really happen? 44 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,869 {\an8}-Pill attack! -Actual-sword attack! 45 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,872 {\an8}I've had it. No more Karate Monsters. 46 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,707 {\an8}-Ki-Ya-- -(grumbles) 47 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,461 {\an8}That's it. Tomorrow, we're doing something educational. 48 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,797 {\an8}We're going to the science museum. 49 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,466 Damn it. 50 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,304 (Bart and Lisa laughing) 51 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,438 (both grunting) 52 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,315 (Marge sighs) 53 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,193 Finally, actual science. 54 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,364 (both groan) 55 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:37,866 You did it, baby. 56 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,368 You promised no fun, and you delivered. 57 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,042 (French accent) Ah, hello there. 58 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:52,255 I am Blaise Pascal, inventor of the probability theory. 59 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,884 What are the odds of meeting you here? 60 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,886 Excellent, I would say. 61 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:58,887 (dings) 62 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,724 {\an8}My friend Silly Squirrel is about to buy a lottery ticket. 63 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,810 Silly Squirrel, do you know the probability 64 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,228 of winning the lottery? 65 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,396 I don't know. 66 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,523 {\an8}Why, you are more likely 67 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,734 {\an8}to be run over by a car. 68 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,320 {\an8}Or be hit by lightning. 69 00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,490 {\an8}Or murdered by an acquaintance. 70 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:22,452 If you understood probability, 71 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,205 you would never play the lottery. 72 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,583 (laughs) 73 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,585 {\an8}Guys, this science exhibit 74 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,837 {\an8}told me how stupid it is to play the lottery. 75 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,173 {\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you didn't buy our weekly ticket? 76 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,926 {\an8}Are you nuts? You can't win if you don't play. 77 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,552 {\an8}Hey, it's time. Turn it on, turn it on! 78 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:43,640 {\an8}Four lucky numbers for four best friends. 79 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,851 {\an8}Yeah, I always go with three, the number of brothers and sisters 80 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,978 {\an8}I, uh, Hunger Games-ed in the womb. 81 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,313 {\an8}19 for me. 82 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,649 {\an8}Uh, for the best year of my life, 1996. 83 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,067 {\an8}My number's 22. 84 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,653 {\an8}No reason. Just... 22. 85 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,279 {\an8}And I'm 69. 86 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,532 {\an8}Because people always laugh when you say "69." 87 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,077 {\an8}(laughs) No one knows why. 88 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,703 And the winning numbers are... 89 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,122 three, 19, 90 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,334 22 and 69. (chuckles) 91 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,253 {\an8}Oh, my gosh. We won. 92 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,837 {\an8}We won the Springfield Lottery. 93 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,007 {\an8}That's 200 grand. That's 50,000 bucks each! 94 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,593 {\an8}(all cheering) 95 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,513 {\an8}Guys, guys, we got to celebrate, throw a raging party! 96 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,765 {\an8}I'll cash the ticket. Homer, Homer, you get the food. 97 00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:29,018 {\an8}I'll get mini dumpsters of wings from Garbage Wings. 98 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,603 {\an8}And, Lenny, you get the drinks. 99 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,146 {\an8}But we're already at a bar. 100 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,108 Oh, no. That's just gasoline and hot dog water. 101 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,151 Who cares? We got the money. 102 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,529 (laughing) I'm so happy. 103 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,197 I'm so happy. 104 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,658 To the best feeling in the world... 105 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:44,867 money. 106 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,704 (glass clinking) 107 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,331 Guys, I got big plans for these winnings. 108 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,793 I'm going to build... a swimming pool. 109 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,169 In-ground? 110 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,755 So freaking far in the ground, baby. 111 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:58,923 What about you, Carl? 112 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:01,384 What are you gonna do with your share of the money? 113 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,594 (crowd murmuring) 114 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:07,015 Oh, uh, I guess Carl ain't back yet from cashing in the ticket. 115 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,100 I'm sure he just got held up in traffic. 116 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,477 Yeah, that's probably what happened. 117 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,730 I wonder what's keeping Carl. 118 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,815 I hope our friend wasn't in an accident. 119 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:19,152 I'm glad we're the kind of people who are worried about Carl's safety 120 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,571 instead of thinking that he ripped us off. 121 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,032 I wasn't thinking that. 122 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,659 -Carl's our good friend. -Our good friend. 123 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,661 Yeah, good old Carl. 124 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:34,083 Good old Carl's phone went straight to voice mail. Again. 125 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,753 (tires screeching) 126 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,797 The power of friendship is so amazing, 127 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,342 I don't feel at all suspicious of Carl. 128 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,677 Drive faster because of the power of friendship. 129 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,012 (tires screech) 130 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,347 (door creaks) 131 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,934 -Carl's gone. -Our money's gone. 132 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,812 We've been betrayed. By good old Carl! 133 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,732 Guys, I think we might need a new song. 134 00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,692 ♪ Four best friends ♪ 135 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,362 ♪ Who never quarrel ♪ 136 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:06,866 ♪ Homer Simpson, Lenny, Moe, and... ♪ 137 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,409 ♪ And... ♪ 138 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,370 And no one. 139 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,168 All our lottery money, gone! 140 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,754 If I ever see that Carl again, I'm gonna freeze him, 141 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:23,049 chop him up into ice cubes, and scoop him into the urinal trough 142 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,842 at the Gathering of the Juggalos! 143 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,845 Guys, give Carl a chance. I'm sure he's gonna come back. 144 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,180 I don't think so. 145 00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:32,266 His travel neck pillow's gone from its pedestal. 146 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,603 -Fellas, he ain't coming back. -You don't know that. 147 00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:38,815 I'm gonna keep looking till we figure out what really happened. 148 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,317 I bet he flew to Quebec to bring us back 149 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,361 authentic French-Canadian sugar pie. 150 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:44,987 (chuckles) I can taste it already. 151 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,448 Mmm. Thanks for the sugar pie, Carl. 152 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,411 Hey, what's this? 153 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:55,623 "I've gone home. Good-bye forever, Carl Carlson." 154 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,710 Where'd you go, Carl? 155 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,131 Had plans for that money, too. 156 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,592 I was gonna be one of those guys who's really into hot sauce, you know? 157 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,595 Hot sauce suspenders, hot sauce pajamas. 158 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,473 Bolo tie with a little chili pepper on it. 159 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,852 I still can't believe it was Carl who took your winnings. 160 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,228 I thought it would've been you. 161 00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,230 Or you. Or you. 162 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,065 I know. Me, too. 163 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,567 It's the ultimate screw-over. 164 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,402 Maybe he had a good reason 165 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,571 to give you the ultimate screw-over. 166 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,490 He said he went home, and his passport is gone. 167 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,075 What country is he from? 168 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,743 -Uh... -Uh... I don't know. 169 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,663 You don't know where Carl is from? 170 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,999 Come on, you know how dudes are. 171 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,959 We don't go digging into the past. 172 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,586 We talk about guy stuff. 173 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:43,379 Like baseball and trucks 174 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,007 and when guys lift too much weight and their bungus drops out. 175 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,758 You know, guy stuff. 176 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,386 Maybe if you'd talked less about guy stuff, 177 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,847 you'd know more about your so-called friend. 178 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,682 Well, it don't matter no more, Midge. 179 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,435 Carl is gone, and we're already auditioning replacements. 180 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,524 This could not be more offensive. 181 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,151 Man! 182 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,569 Oh, of course. 183 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,196 -Ugh! -Hmm. 184 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,199 Hey, hey, get that out of here! 185 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,285 I don't ever want to see that moolah-stealing jackpot thief again! 186 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,078 Wait a minute. 187 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:20,041 Something's reflected in the lenses of Carl's sunglasses. 188 00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,376 I just need to get closer. 189 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,466 He's looking at a geyser. 190 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,134 And there's a sign in front of it! 191 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:33,346 Oh... it's too small to read. 192 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,391 LENNY: Oh, it's backwards. 193 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,809 MOE: Try this. 194 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,395 LENNY: "Strokkur Geysir." 195 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,314 Hmm. 196 00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,233 The geyser is one of the most famous 197 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,652 natural wonders in Iceland. 198 00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,654 I guess that's where Carl's from. 199 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,281 Ice-land? Is that even a real place? 200 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,575 I thought it was Superman's Superman cave. 201 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,203 Iceland keeps the most detailed family records 202 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,163 of any country in the world. 203 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,082 There! Carl was adopted... 204 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,546 ...by a couple who lives outside Reykjavik. 205 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,006 Well, if that's Carl's home, then that's where our money is! 206 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,967 And that's where we're going. We got to pack. 207 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,894 HOMER: (whistles) 50 bucks per bag? 208 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,439 I guess I'm only bringing one guitar on this revenge trip. 209 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,277 You're going so far away. 210 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,486 I'll miss you. 211 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,280 Baby, I'm going for us. 212 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,490 That money is going to dig us a swimming pool 213 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,159 that'll take our broken family and make it whole. 214 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,494 We're not broken. 215 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,621 -We're broken. -We're pretty broken. 216 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,790 (grumbles) How am I going to sleep 217 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:46,419 if someone isn't pushing me all the way to the very edge of the bed? 218 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:49,005 I've already taken care of that. 219 00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:54,552 Oh... oh, that's perfect. 220 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,811 I can't wait to see the smile on Carl's face when we surprise him. 221 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:04,979 I call first hug. 222 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,606 Hey, Lenny, when are you gonna wise up? 223 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,066 Carl never wants to see us again. 224 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,152 I'm done talking to you! 225 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,614 This is funny. 226 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:19,327 It says here Iceland is green, and Greenland is icy. 227 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:22,663 The Vikings switched the names to trick everybody. 228 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,207 -(all laughing) -Those Vikings. 229 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,751 -That's pretty good. -Great gag! 230 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:30,129 Hey, Vikings, it's still pretty damn cold! 231 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,089 I only packed shorts. 232 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,891 Excuse me, uh, we're looking for our friend. 233 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,352 He's, uh... he's about so tall, 234 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,187 uh, wears a jacket, 235 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,689 he's, um, got no visible tattoos... 236 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,942 -Just say he's black, Moe. -You say he's black! 237 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:54,195 His name is Carl Carlson. 238 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,696 Carl Carlson! 239 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,366 His family has been hated for 1,000 years. 240 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,451 How do you know about Carl's family? 241 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,328 Our country is very small, 242 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,747 very judgmental, and very nosy. 243 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,042 Ingimar Ogmundsson, how progresses your gonorrhea? 244 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:11,128 It heals, but slowly. 245 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,130 Why does everybody hate Carl's family? 246 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,924 {\an8}MAN: Here's why. 247 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,010 {\an8}This saga tells of how Carl Carlson's family 248 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,762 were the watchmen of the coast, 249 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,473 always keeping an eye out for invading hordes. 250 00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:25,184 Iceland's safety depended on their vigilance. 251 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,521 But the Carlsons failed in their duty. 252 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:32,149 The enemy invaded, laying waste to our lava fields, 253 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:36,445 burning our sweaters, and feasting upon our tiny horses. 254 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,864 Apparently, screwing over your friends 255 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,492 is in Carl's blood-- his adopted blood. 256 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:50,292 All right, this is it, Carl's family home. 257 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,919 Twenty-two... 258 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:55,005 Ooh, phew, oh, that's a lot of letters. 259 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,091 22 Hjorleifsstrati. 260 00:11:57,174 --> 00:12:00,094 So that's why 22 was Carl's lottery number. 261 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:04,515 Yeah, and that's why his sweatpants say "Hjorleifsstrati" across the butt. 262 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,934 (grunts) The gates are locked. 263 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,395 Well, then we'll just have to wait for him to come out. 264 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,149 (yawns) Oh, man, stakeouts are so boring. 265 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,817 I wish I had something to look at. 266 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:19,155 Well, I guess I'll just read the car rental contract again. 267 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,823 Damage waiver, check. 268 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,117 Return with full tank of gas, check. 269 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,537 All drivers must be over the age of 25... 270 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:27,747 and check. 271 00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,667 Love you, Mom. See you, Dad. 272 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,344 -It's Carl! Wake up, wake up! -BOTH: Huh? 273 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,681 ♪♪ 274 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,821 (tires screech) 275 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,281 Ah, damn it, we lost him! 276 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,910 There he is. And he's got our money! 277 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,590 (panting) 278 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,303 It's no use. 279 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,305 We're perfectly matched. 280 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,974 (grunting) 281 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,644 HOMER: We did it! 282 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,732 Give us some answers, or you'll get a mouthful 283 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,193 of rotten shark fermented in its own urine. 284 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,362 No, no, anything but the inedible, 285 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,405 repulsive food of my native land. 286 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:47,159 Yeah, Carl, tell them the good reason you had for borrowing the money. 287 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,120 All right, look, I admit it. I gave you the ultimate screw-over. 288 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,790 But I did it to clear my family's name. 289 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:56,752 Everyone blames the barbarian invasion on my ancestors. 290 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,588 But that saga had a missing page. 291 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,174 Oh, yeah... a page was torn out. 292 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,676 My family's always believed 293 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,970 that we fought bravely against the invaders, 294 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,013 and the missing page will prove it. 295 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,474 I took the lottery money to buy that page 296 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,184 and restore my family's honor. 297 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,770 Why didn't you just tell us? We're your friends. 298 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,940 I didn't tell you because... we're not friends. 299 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,191 (all gasp) 300 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,444 Friends share their feelings, their hopes, their dreams. 301 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,446 Friends know their friends are from Iceland! 302 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,533 We are just guys who sit next to each other at a bar 303 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,786 and talk about... ugh... guy stuff. 304 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,873 So all those years of hanging out meant nothing? 305 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,791 -Not to me. -Sorry, Lenny. 306 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,751 That's all right. Now we know. 307 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,211 It's all out in the open. 308 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,172 I guess it kind of makes it easier now for me to... 309 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,008 to kill Carl! 310 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,513 (chuckles) When the nice ones snap, 311 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,640 it's always a good show. 312 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:59,356 (clattering, punches landing) 313 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,191 (grunting) 314 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,610 -Ow, my eye! -My eye! 315 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,028 -My eye! -My eye! 316 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:05,863 Hey, hey, hey, Lenny, forget him, forget him! 317 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,615 Look, we still got the money. 318 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,617 -LENNY: What the... -(Homer groans) 319 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,910 What the hell is this? 320 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,620 That's the missing page from the saga. 321 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,747 That's what I spent our lottery money on. 322 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,874 Then this belongs to us. 323 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,543 Please, give it back! Please! It'll restore my family's honor! 324 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:23,631 Maybe we'd give it back to our friend, but we're not friends, remember? 325 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,634 Sorry, Carl. It's World War II all over again. 326 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,219 America kicks Iceland's ass. 327 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,554 No! 328 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,974 Guys, do you think Carl was right? 329 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,851 What if we're not real friends? 330 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,812 Maybe we are just lonely guys who do... 331 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,230 guy stuff. 332 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,900 ♪♪ 333 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,831 (people screaming) 334 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,838 (computer chimes) 335 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,675 Hi, Homie! Did you get the money? 336 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:10,219 The kids have been stocking up on pool noodles. 337 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,262 Put the noodles in the shed. 338 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,306 There isn't gonna be a swimming pool. 339 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,517 -Hmm? -Carl spent all our money 340 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,186 on this stupid page from a stupid saga. 341 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,689 I say we make it into saga soup 342 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:24,441 and have ourselves a soup sip. (slurps) 343 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,945 That'll show Carl for de-friending us in real life! 344 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,780 I know Carl did you wrong, 345 00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:33,075 but is destroying something he cares that much about 346 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,369 really going to make you feel good? 347 00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:37,538 Well, we won't know that till after. 348 00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:40,874 Just read the saga and see what it says. 349 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,294 But how can we learn to read ancient Icelandic? 350 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,462 With these. 351 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:49,174 Yeah, my doctor says it's better for me not to sleep. 352 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,760 -Thorn? -Yes! 353 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,178 Forvitinn. 354 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,681 I can't do this, I can't do this! 355 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:56,932 You can't not do it! 356 00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,269 Okay, let's see what this thing says. 357 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,937 "When the barbarian invaders came, 358 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,773 the Carlsons met them with their weapons ready..." 359 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,984 LENNY: Wow, Carl's family really was brave. 360 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,945 HOMER: "...weapons which they immediately threw down in surrender. 361 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,865 The Carlsons then let the barbarians in the back gate 362 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:15,367 and joined in the sacking, the looting, 363 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,162 and the volcano-ing of the village elders. 364 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,581 The Carlsons then wrote down this saga 365 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:24,543 so no one would ever forget their treachery and cowardice." 366 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:28,422 Carl's family was even worse than people thought. 367 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,591 They were the original ultimate scumbags. 368 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:33,343 Carl betrayed his friends, blew the lottery money... 369 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,345 -all for nothing. -Hey, guys... 370 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,431 I think I feel bad for Carl. 371 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,392 {\an8}(speaking Icelandic) 372 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,646 Attention, everyone in Iceland. 373 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,648 We have an important announcement. 374 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,942 Take a break from your dreary lives 375 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,527 to hear Americans lecture you. 376 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,071 (all exclaim) 377 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,405 Is this everyone? 378 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,782 No. 379 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,325 Yes. 380 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,744 I've learned something about the people of Iceland. 381 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:02,623 You have endured barbarian invasions, total financial collapse, 382 00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:04,500 and a lesbian prime minister. 383 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,669 You've managed to survive on a craphole island 384 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,672 that looks like the moon and smells like rotten eggs. 385 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:14,009 And to do that, you have to be stubborn. 386 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,428 But I ask you to put aside your stubbornness 387 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,348 while I tell you about Carl Carlson. 388 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,141 Shame on Carl's family! 389 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,978 The blood of 1,000 tiny horses is on their hands. 390 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,731 Doesn't matter what happened 1,000 years ago, 391 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,442 for Carl Carlson's honor has been redeemed 392 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,569 by the deeds of Carl Carlson. 393 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,114 Carl Carlson who helped me move, 394 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,991 -even though I moved the week before. -(crowd gasping and murmuring) 395 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,910 Yeah, and when we were painting my house, 396 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,329 Carl Carlson brought that blue tape, 397 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,915 you know, that makes you really look like you know what you're doing. 398 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,584 You peel it off, and you got that super straight line there. 399 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,545 -(crowd gasping) -And when he brings 400 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,840 a six-pack to my house, he doesn't take the extras home with him. 401 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,425 Carl Carlson leaves them in the fridge. 402 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,510 (crowd gasping) 403 00:18:56,593 --> 00:19:00,222 Carl Carlson is our friend, even if he doesn't believe it. 404 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:04,393 If we can forgive Carl for stealing our lottery winnings, 405 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:07,187 maybe youse can find it in youse's hearts 406 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,814 to forgive his ancestors. 407 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,359 The many small kindnesses of Carl Carlson 408 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,154 have redeemed his family forever. 409 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,824 Mom, Dad, 410 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,118 our family can show our face in public 411 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,162 for the first time in 1,000 years. 412 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,625 Ai. Ai. 413 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:35,048 How can you say these men are not your true friends? 414 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,134 I... I can't! 415 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:40,179 (sobbing) I can't! 416 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,265 CROWD: Ai. 417 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,106 Guys, thanks for teaching me 418 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,317 the true meaning of male friendship. 419 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,277 The stuff that comes from in here... 420 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,737 that is guy stuff. 421 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,947 We don't get together to share our emotions. 422 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,991 We get together to escape them. 423 00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:04,036 Yeah, I'd tell you guys I love you, but, uh, 424 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,288 I don't want to say it, and you don't want to hear it. 425 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,582 To nothing! 426 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,931 Okay, everyone, get ready to see your brand-new... 427 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,807 -Oh, oh! (laughs) -What is it, what is it, what is it? 428 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,935 -...keg-pools! -Yay! 429 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,149 Hey! Aah! 430 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,901 (kids laughing) 431 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,486 (grunting) 432 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,698 Fine. I'm going home. 433 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,078 ♪♪ 434 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay