1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,214
<i>-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>
-Skinner!

2
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,845
(exclaiming)

3
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,810
(school bell ringing)

4
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,022
(Barney belches)

5
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,815
(whistle blows)

6
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,900
(yells)

7
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,990
(beeping)

8
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,911
(playing harp)

9
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,045
(tires screech)

10
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,589
D'oh!

11
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:48,757
(tires screeching)

12
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,425
(grunts)

13
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,847
(Bart chuckles)

14
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,352
(grunts)

15
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,278
{\an8}♪ ♪

16
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:16,201
{\an8}America faces
an ominous new threat--

17
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,078
{\an8}<i>terrorism.</i>

18
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,537
{\an8}We must be vigilant,

19
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,624
{\an8}<i>secure every home,</i>
<i>every church,</i>

20
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:25,460
{\an8}<i>every Kwik-E-Mart</i>
<i>and presidential library.</i>

21
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,587
{\an8}PRESIDENT CLINTON:
I grew up in a little town in Arkansas,

22
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:30,465
{\an8}whose name, ironically,
was Terrorism.

23
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,513
{\an8}(loud explosion)

24
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,980
{\an8}Ooh, there's new marshmallows
in the Belfast Charms!

25
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,942
{\an8}No! No, that's Bart's cereal.

26
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,654
{\an8}It's the only way
I can get him to take

27
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,614
{\an8}his "vitamins."

28
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:56,825
{\an8}(sighs)

29
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,701
{\an8}Eat up.

30
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,995
{\an8}The sum of the square roots
of any two sides

31
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,872
{\an8}of an isosceles triangle
is equal

32
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,499
{\an8}to the square root
of the remaining side.

33
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,501
{\an8}-That's not right.
-Yes, it is.

34
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:08,837
{\an8}They're my lines as the Scarecrow
in <i>The Wizard of Oz.</i>

35
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,923
{\an8}Okay, I'm ready for
the Nuclear Workers Convention.

36
00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:15,051
{\an8}It's a little sad-- the guys
who did the funny skit last year,

37
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,928
{\an8}well, they're all very sick.

38
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,304
{\an8}Did you pack
everything you need?

39
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,764
{\an8}Even better.

40
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,934
{\an8}I never unpacked from the time
we went to Hawaii.

41
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,106
{\an8}Whoo!

42
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,066
{\an8}My lava's almost cooled!

43
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,485
{\an8}(sizzling)

44
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,528
{\an8}(thump)

45
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,197
{\an8}I'm <i>still</i> cold.

46
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:40,451
{\an8}Oh, a whole weekend
away from my family.

47
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,704
{\an8}I can't believe
I have to miss taking the kids

48
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:45,331
{\an8}to buy gym uniforms.

49
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,208
{\an8}Send me a picture?

50
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,004
{\an8}Poor guy.

51
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,463
{\an8}Salt of the Earth.

52
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,762
{\an8}ALL: (chanting)
Convention! Convention!

53
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,599
{\an8}Convention! Convention!

54
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,850
{\an8}Convention!

55
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,476
{\an8}<i>STEWARDESS:</i>
<i>Oxygen masks on.</i>

56
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,145
{\an8}(muffled chanting)
Convention!

57
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:09,272
{\an8}(unmuffled)
Convention!

58
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,111
{\an8}(motors chugging)

59
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,533
{\an8}(Klaxon and siren blaring)

60
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:21,784
{\an8}Man, I love conventions.

61
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,328
{\an8}Yeah,
they're the perfect combination

62
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:24,996
{\an8}of work and binge drinking.

63
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,624
{\an8}Now, look, guys, we are here
for one important reason--

64
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,459
{\an8}to get free swag!

65
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,962
{\an8}<i>(to "Fame")</i>
<i>♪ Swag! I'm gonna grab forever ♪</i>

66
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,299
{\an8}<i>♪ Stuff that I really don't need,</i>
<i>swag! ♪</i>

67
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:39,135
{\an8}<i>♪ I'm gonna have 40 key chains ♪</i>

68
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,305
{\an8}<i>♪ And I don't even have 40 keys,</i>
<i>swag! ♪</i>

69
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,514
{\an8}Interested in learning a procedure

70
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,807
{\an8}that could save your life?

71
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,434
{\an8}<i>(quietly)</i>
<i>♪ More free stuff, more free stuff ♪</i>

72
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:48,311
{\an8}<i>♪ More free stuff,</i>
<i>more free stuff ♪</i>

73
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,812
{\an8}<i>-♪ More free stuff ♪</i>
-Uh, all I have are these spec sheets.

74
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,980
{\an8}<i>♪ More free stuff, more free stuff ♪</i>

75
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,316
{\an8}<i>ALL:</i>
<i>♪ Swag! ♪</i>

76
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,069
{\an8}(grunt, thud)

77
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,532
{\an8}(gasps)
There's that woman I always have

78
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,410
{\an8}a "same time next year"
affair with.

79
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,664
{\an8}And she's with her frumpy friend

80
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,582
{\an8}I always have dinner with
when you two disappear.

81
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,875
{\an8}Mm-hmm-hmm.

82
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:11,918
{\an8}(slurps)

83
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,671
{\an8}Put up your nukes!
(chuckles)

84
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,880
{\an8}Halpern!

85
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,966
{\an8}Hey-hey!
The wild man of Wichita!

86
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,342
{\an8}I still haven't forgiven you

87
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,386
{\an8}for putting that dead goat
in my bed.

88
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,680
{\an8}He wasn't dead
till you rolled over on him! Ha!

89
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:24,847
{\an8}-(laughing) Oh, yeah.
-Take that.

90
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,349
{\an8}In your face, boy.

91
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,892
{\an8}-Ow! Ow!
-Hey!

92
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,519
{\an8}(angry grunting)

93
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,604
{\an8}I'll kill you!
You son of a...!

94
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,523
{\an8}-(deep panting)
-Oh, come here, you.

95
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,358
{\an8}-Oh...
-Ah, yeah.

96
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,110
{\an8}Some party, huh?

97
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,237
{\an8}It could be, <i>if</i> we introduce

98
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,532
{\an8}Sherman from I.T.
to my good friend Spike.

99
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826
{\an8}Halpern, what will you
think of next?

100
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,619
{\an8}Nothing.
This is it.

101
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,788
{\an8}(slurring)
Hey, here's a brainstorm for you.

102
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:52,625
{\an8}Check if it's plugged in
before you call I.T.!

103
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,877
{\an8}You think
I like talking you monkeys

104
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,046
{\an8}through a password change?!

105
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,131
{\an8}(grunts)

106
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,174
{\an8}(laughter)

107
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,681
{\an8}(slurring)
To texting!

108
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,437
{\an8}Hello.

109
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,355
{\an8}Where's Homer?

110
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:17,066
{\an8}Homer, Homer--
when <i>did</i> I see him last?

111
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,651
{\an8}Geez, I don't know.

112
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,944
{\an8}(vomits)

113
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,030
{\an8}Yeah, Homer's a great guy,
but that doesn't mean

114
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,782
{\an8}I constantly think about
whether he's still alive or not.

115
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,749
{\an8}You're taking a picture of 'em
in their moment of grief?

116
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:33,791
{\an8}It's okay.

117
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,793
{\an8}This camera has
an "auto cheer" feature.

118
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,130
-Aw...
-Aw...

119
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,758
Well, he's not in the Boise morgue.

120
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,760
Maybe he was mistaken
for a dead elephant

121
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,636
and flown back to Kenya.

122
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,638
You're talking
about my husband.

123
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,600
To spare your feelings,
we'll just call him the Blob.

124
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:55,146
Two to one says the Blob is stuck
in the water-intake pipe at the reservoir.

125
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:59,567
Please, I need people here
who are helpful and sensitive.

126
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,277
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
I had some trouble

127
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,113
getting the voicemails
off the 9-1-1 line.

128
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,657
Why does everyone have to talk
so fast and panicky?

129
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,036
<i>MAN: (slowly and clearly)</i>
<i>A man with a gun is in my house.</i>

130
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,120
Gibberish.

131
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,580
(barking)

132
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,878
Hello, everyone.

133
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,464
Homie! What happened to you?

134
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,050
I overslept, lost my cell phone,
missed my flight.

135
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,885
Why didn't you call us?

136
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,845
Well, all the pay phones
at the airport

137
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,806
were replaced by self-serve yogurt.

138
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,142
I ate all the cookie dough toppings
a man could want.

139
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,145
So many cookies
will never be born.

140
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,272
Well, I guess all that matters

141
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,317
is everything's back to normal.

142
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,319
♪ ♪

143
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,829
(explosion)

144
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,962
Yes. Back to normal.

145
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,804
Dear Christian God...

146
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:12,306
-Hey!
-Sorry. Dear God--

147
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,975
you know which one I mean--

148
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:16,394
thank you
for returning our Homie.

149
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:19,689
He's still got a lot of
unfinished business down here.

150
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,692
Amen.

151
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,027
I'm glad you're back, Dad.

152
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,989
It's hard to sleep
with one unkissed cheek.

153
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,991
Yeah, it's tough being man
of the house.

154
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,951
You left some big underpants to fill.

155
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,412
I didn't know
they made Underoos in size 52.

156
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:36,372
They're called Superoos, son.

157
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,083
With pictures of the cast
of <i>The Expendables.</i>

158
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,128
More like <i>The Expandables.</i>
(chuckles)

159
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,006
Why didn't you strangle me?

160
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,551
That kind of small-scale violence
solves nothing.

161
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,886
Couldn't agree more.

162
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,304
Now to celebrate.

163
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:55,600
Ta-da! Pork chops
crusted with Cheeto dust.

164
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,981
Uh, I'll pass on the pork.

165
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,483
(spits)

166
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,822
I'll just enjoy these green beans
with slivered almonds.

167
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,950
Mmm, so slivered.

168
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,619
Mmm.

169
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,375
(quietly) Bart, why is the dad I always
wished for creeping me out?

170
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:24,921
I don't know. 'Cause you're
incapable of experiencing joy?

171
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,547
<i>-Yay.</i>
-(groans)

172
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,007
Point taken.

173
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,259
Dad, what's that on your lap?

174
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,427
A napkin.

175
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,929
(others gasp)

176
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,516
Glad you're back, buddy.

177
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,935
You got a lot of catching up to do.

178
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,568
(grunting, panting)

179
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:50,238
Can I just get a glass of water?

180
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,657
Water?
That stuff killed my grandmother.

181
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:55,451
So sad.

182
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:04,627
I've been having snuggle dreams.

183
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,005
Marge, I changed in Boise.

184
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,550
I'm not sure a man
who eats right and doesn't drink

185
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,051
can be good in bed.

186
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:14,303
-Well, what made you...?
-You're so beautiful

187
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,557
when I cut you off
in the middle of a question.

188
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,892
(both moaning)

189
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,229
(gasps)
Oh. Oh, my.

190
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,439
What's that thing you're doing?

191
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,900
HOMER:
(sultrily) Moving my body.

192
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,152
MARGE:
(chuckling) Oh.

193
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,739
(humming happily)

194
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,200
Don't you think it's weird
that Dad stopped eating pork

195
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,660
<i>and</i> drinking beer?

196
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,203
Who cares what happened?

197
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:40,830
Daddy's back.

198
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,582
(grunts)

199
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,418
(humming happily)

200
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,054
Something happened to Dad
on that trip.

201
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,889
This is worse than when he went
to New Orleans

202
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,309
and came back
with a Southern accent.

203
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,769
<i>(deep Southern accent)</i>
<i>Uh, how y'all doin'?</i>

204
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,147
(crunch)

205
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,358
(dog barking in distance)

206
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,652
Chief Wiggum, how come every time
there's a terrorist chatter

207
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,238
-in this town, you come to me?
-Lay off, Apu.

208
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,157
When I look at people,
I don't see colors.

209
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,118
-I just see crackpot religions.
-Chief, is there

210
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,537
really a terrorist threat
to Springfield?

211
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,874
Yeah.
I got a very important phone call.

212
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,667
-(phone rings)
-Yello?

213
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,586
<i>MAN:</i>
<i>Is this line secure?</i>

214
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:31,255
Well, it's a little jiggly,
but it'll hold.

215
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:35,051
We got intel-- uh, that's short
for a word I don't know...

216
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,261
-Intelligence?
-I don't believe so, no.

217
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:41,307
Anyway, this intel says that
someone in town has been turned

218
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,143
-and they're working for terrorists.
-(gasps)

219
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,854
Now, I got to go check
my other suspects.

220
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,689
Uh-huh.

221
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,858
But I may be back.

222
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,614
Huh?

223
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:59,617
(gasps)
Dad's kneeling on a prayer mat.

224
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,244
He doesn't believe in kneeling.

225
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:05,915
(chanting indistinctly)

226
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:09,001
Huh? It looks like he's praying.

227
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:13,172
To the east. The Middle East.

228
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,256
Mecca.

229
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,557
(quietly)
He's targeting the nuclear plant.

230
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,147
LISA:
Meow?

231
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,400
If you are a cat, prove it.

232
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,695
-Do you hate Mondays like Garfield?
-(screeches)

233
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,239
And do you love lasagna,
like me?

234
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:39,740
Meow.

235
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,826
Okay then.

236
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,160
(humming happily)

237
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,333
Mom, I have to tell you
something about Dad,

238
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,543
something big!

239
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:53,963
I know. He's changed.

240
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,047
Exactly.

241
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,173
For the better.

242
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,758
And men
don't change that way.

243
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,219
-But-but...
-Do you know what we're doing on Sunday?

244
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,305
Brunch with the Hibberts.
Then the tile store.

245
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:07,226
He's like a husband
in a widow's memory-- perfect.

246
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,854
(grunting)

247
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,897
Perfect!

248
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,150
Perfect.

249
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:22,074
(beeping)

250
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,410
-(phone rings)
-FBI.

251
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,579
I think someone I love
is a terrorist.

252
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,247
Does that make me crazy?

253
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,082
No, no. Not at all.

254
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,753
It took me two hours to get home.
Traffic was <i>crazy.</i>

255
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,296
Are you people talking about me?

256
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,339
No. We're not even here right now.

257
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,561
{\an8}742 Evergreen Terrace.
I'll be right there.

258
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,104
{\an8}And don't believe
what you've heard about me.

259
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,316
{\an8}I haven't heard anything
about you except from you.

260
00:12:57,318 --> 00:13:00,112
Hanging up the receiver, eh?

261
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,989
(gasps)
How much did you hear?

262
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,324
How much did you say?

263
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:04,408
Nothing, really.

264
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,577
So I heard half of nothing.

265
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,580
Dad, you're scary
when you're calm and focused.

266
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:12,333
Lisa,
I'll miss you when this is all over.

267
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:13,709
When what's all over?

268
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,628
-This conversation.
-(chuckles nervously)

269
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,922
See you on the other side.

270
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,256
What other side?

271
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,091
Of the house.
Where the fireplace is.

272
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,760
We're toasting marshmallows.

273
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,553
Marsh...

274
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,931
mallows.

275
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:39,193
I'm Bart Simpson.
Who the hell are you?

276
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,028
Agent Crawford, FBI.

277
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,072
You guys know I don't talk
to field agents.

278
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,115
Get your boss on the phone.

279
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,868
I'm not here for you.
I'm here for your dad.

280
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,829
What do you want with his dad?

281
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,372
Go back to sleep, Milhouse.

282
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,790
How do you know my name?

283
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,334
I didn't. But I do now.

284
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,462
-Don't talk.
-Okay.

285
00:13:58,546 --> 00:13:59,922
I want you to know
I'm the best there is

286
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,466
-at finding out what you're up to.
-Ooh.

287
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,760
I can torture you.
I can give you incredible sex.

288
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,637
Or you can just tell me
what I want to know.

289
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,722
-What was the first one again?
-I see.

290
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,391
-You're stupid.
-Hey.

291
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:12,518
I'm the one in bed
with two beautiful women.

292
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:13,519
(gasps)

293
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,355
You think I'm beautiful? Oh!

294
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,315
In a breaking-and-entering
kind of way.

295
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,317
Well, give me something,
or I'm not leaving.

296
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,111
(snoring)

297
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,531
Let's just say
I've got to get to work on time.

298
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:29,326
And if you knew me,
you'd know just how odd that sounds.

299
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,245
Who are you talking to?

300
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,371
No one.

301
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,457
You're in too deep, Annie.
Get out.

302
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,459
Are you real, or my imagination?

303
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,129
Either way, my advice is sound.

304
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,133
I love my job.

305
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:48,512
<i>HOMER: (à la Islamic call to prayer)</i>
<i>♪ It is the climax ♪</i>

306
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,514
<i>♪ What everything's been ♪</i>

307
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:54,977
<i>♪ Buil... ♪</i>

308
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,146
<i>♪ Di-ing to ♪</i>

309
00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:01,567
<i>♪ Hope it pays off for you ♪</i>

310
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:02,985
<i>♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪</i>

311
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,486
(beeping)

312
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,738
What you got there, Homer?

313
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,364
Weird thing under a tarp.

314
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,034
That's what I thought.
Have a good one. (laughs)

315
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,620
You laugh now,
but you won't be laughing soon.

316
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,580
He's right,
because now I go back

317
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:17,166
to remembering
that my cat just died.

318
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,668
-He's in.
-(knocking)

319
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,546
One sunrise burrito, please.

320
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:23,505
Fine!

321
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,594
<i>FEMALE VOICE:</i>
<i>Facial recognition required.</i>

322
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,012
(high-pitched whirring)

323
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,764
<i>Welcome, Mr. Burns.</i>

324
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,986
-(grunts)
-Dad?

325
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,655
Huh? How'd you get in here?

326
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,074
Girl Scout cookies
get you in anywhere.

327
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,450
Please don't do this, Dad.

328
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,661
I don't know what horrors
you saw in Boise,

329
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,121
but it's not worth
blowing up everyone you love.

330
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,456
I'm not blowing up the plant.

331
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:58,958
(chuckling)
Oh.

332
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,334
Just harmlessly stopping it

333
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,920
from doing more damage
to Mother Earth.

334
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,296
Is that something

335
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,131
your terrorist masters
told you to tell me?

336
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,508
(sighs)
Yes.

337
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:11,053
My terrorist masters are always
talking about you, Lisa.

338
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,641
<i>I missed my flight,</i>
<i>so I got in a van...</i>

339
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,357
<i>...with some eco-friendly</i>
<i>activists.</i>

340
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,442
<i>They wanted gas, grass, or ass,</i>

341
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,070
<i>and, brother, I had the ass.</i>

342
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,572
They taught me something
I found shocking.

343
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,534
Pigs aren't happy
to be made into pork chops.

344
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,328
This T-shirt lied to me.

345
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,581
And they also gave me
an alcohol detox.

346
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,792
<i>♪ Nothing's shakin'</i>
<i>on Shakedown Street ♪</i>

347
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:46,213
<i>♪ Used to be the heart of town ♪</i>

348
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,010
<i>♪ Don't tell me this town</i>
<i>ain't got no heart... ♪</i>

349
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,636
Oh! Oh!

350
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,682
Oh, I've been listening
to this song for three days,

351
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:59,643
and it's only the end
of the first verse!

352
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,062
<i>LISA:</i>
<i>But I saw you praying to Mecca.</i>

353
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,815
Lisa, I've never prayed
to a city in my life,

354
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:07,776
and if I did, it would be
Hershey, Pennsylvania.

355
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:11,071
I was kneeling on
the affirmation rug they gave me.

356
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,741
See?

357
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,200
(rhythmically)
Ow, this rug is hard on my knees.

358
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,660
Ow, this rug
is hard on my knees.

359
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,162
Ow, this rug is hard on my knees.

360
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,581
But wait, wait, wait.
What is this?

361
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,708
Lisa, the most horrible truth
of all is,

362
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:26,587
the plant where I work poisons
our water and our air.

363
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:28,797
I've told you that a million times.

364
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:32,509
Aw, sweetie, you told me
a thousand things a million times.

365
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,262
Even with a brain
the size of a dinosaur's,

366
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,056
I couldn't take that in.

367
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,932
Anyhoo, this canister

368
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:42,019
is full of spoiled milk
and utility-grade chicken,

369
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:44,688
both sold to me by Apu
this morning.

370
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,775
When I release it
into the AC system,

371
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,110
it'll stink up the plant forever.

372
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:53,280
No one can use it,
but no one gets hurt.

373
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:56,033
Just like when I smell up the toilet.

374
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,034
-(knocking)
-(gasps) Huh?

375
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,994
(grunting)

376
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,037
(door opens)

377
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,038
There he is.

378
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,873
Use your fattest handcuffs.

379
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,708
Hey.
Uh, it's not what you think, Lou.

380
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:05,876
Lou, Lou, Lou.

381
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:06,877
(ululating)
Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou...!

382
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,212
(groans)

383
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:12,883
I can complete my dad's mission
just like George W. Bush.

384
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:15,928
I can't shoot a little girl.

385
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,304
-(gunshot)
-Ah, damn it!

386
00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,889
There's some things
they just don't teach you

387
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:22,476
in the police academy... movies.

388
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,813
(distorted grunting)

389
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,818
(electronic trilling)

390
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,402
(rhythmic chugging)

391
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,697
We did it, Dad. We did it.

392
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,366
We sure did.

393
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,951
(grunts)

394
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,619
You weren't shot.

395
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:43,038
No, I was just up late
watching a movie.

396
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,874
Something with
William Holden and...

397
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,251
(snoring)

398
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,091
Your plan failed.

399
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,300
Thank God
this plant has never had

400
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,844
a functioning air conditioner.

401
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,512
Wait a minute, Burns.

402
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,347
You don't have a functioning AC system
at a nuclear plant?

403
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,765
That's against the law.

404
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,350
That's impossible.

405
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,185
Smithers, didn't we move
this plant to China?

406
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,520
Sir, that's two years from now,

407
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,021
and you're not supposed
to tell anyone.

408
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,189
Oopsie.

409
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:13,193
There isn't a prison made
that can hold me.

410
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,320
Prisons are still made
of mud and wattles, right?

411
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,531
-No. Concrete.
-(gasps loudly)

412
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,326
You know, Dad, just because
your mission's complete,

413
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,413
it doesn't mean you have
to go back to pork eating

414
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,791
and beer... drinking.

415
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,293
A beer from the sky!

416
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:30,878
It's a sign!

417
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,880
(laughing)

418
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,175
Yeah, this equipment
will pay for itself

419
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,885
in one night of binging.

420
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:44,600
I wish a mission could bring me
closer to someone, but it can't.

421
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:48,061
Okay, it's time for me
to walk alone into the sunset.

422
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,439
(gulps loudly)

423
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,232
That's better.

424
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,031
(groans)

425
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,673
{\an8}Amazingly, the hamster's
older than I am.

426
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,179
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!

427
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,935
{\an8}Subtitled by Tony Dukes