﻿1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,755
<i>CHOIR:</i>
<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,382
(crow squawks)

3
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:10,468
{\an8}Oh, boy. Monday morning
chit-chat at the water cooler.

4
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:13,722
{\an8}The only reason to have done
stuff over the weekend.

5
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,890
{\an8}The only part of the movie
I didn't get is

6
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,810
{\an8}now Radioactive Man
gets his powers <i>from</i> his suit?

7
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,311
{\an8}The suit is slowly killing him,

8
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,564
{\an8}but if he doesn't wear it,
he'll die.

9
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:24,149
{\an8}Oh...

10
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:26,484
{\an8}Wait, you guys saw the new
Radioactive Man sequel?

11
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,319
{\an8}Uh, it's not a sequel,
it's a reboot.

12
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,321
{\an8}Actually,
this one undoes the stuff

13
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,574
{\an8}from the last one,
so it's a de-boot.

14
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,659
{\an8}Stop talking!
I haven't seen it yet!

15
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,537
{\an8}<i>Radioactive Man Re-Rises</i>
came out three days ago.

16
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:38,997
{\an8}It is fair game.

17
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,331
{\an8}Yeah,
if you haven't seen it,

18
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,708
{\an8}then you gotta
leave the water cooler.

19
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,960
{\an8}But what if I want
some cooled water?

20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,920
{\an8}You should have thought of that

21
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,881
{\an8}when you were not seeing
the movie.

22
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,632
{\an8}Fine.
I'll drink alone.

23
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,009
{\an8}(grunts)

24
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,684
{\an8}It was so awesome
when Radioactive Man

25
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,519
{\an8}had to erase his own memory.

26
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,563
{\an8}Yeah, so he wouldn't be tortured
by his past

27
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,440
{\an8}when he was born in the future.

28
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,567
{\an8}Oh, they're talking about the movie!

29
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,736
{\an8}Hurry up, you idiot!

30
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,362
{\an8}No, no, don't stop!

31
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,864
{\an8}I'm sorry I got mad.

32
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,699
{\an8}I'll do that thing you like.

33
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,454
{\an8}I got Radioactive Man's
new villain...

34
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,789
{\an8}the Collider.

35
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,291
{\an8}<i>I turn out to be a good guy.</i>

36
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:28,129
{\an8}<i>I die, but come back to life</i>
<i>after the credits.</i>

37
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,547
{\an8}Oh!

38
00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:35,053
{\an8}Sometimes we feel
there's nowhere left to turn,

39
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,763
{\an8}much like Radioactive Man,

40
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:40,934
{\an8}when he had to kill his own antimatter
twin with a blast of time particles...

41
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:41,976
{\an8}<i>♪ Amazing grace ♪</i>

42
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,270
{\an8}<i>♪ How loud I sing ♪</i>

43
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:47,148
{\an8}<i>♪ To drown the spoilers out! ♪</i>

44
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,484
{\an8}<i>♪ Shut up, shut up, shut... ♪</i>

45
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,485
{\an8}(yells)

46
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,904
{\an8}And stay out!

47
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:54,239
{\an8}HOMER:
Okay.

48
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:56,699
{\an8}I gotta go see
the Radioactive Man movie

49
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,493
{\an8}before it gets totally ruined for me.

50
00:01:58,576 --> 00:01:59,702
{\an8}Ooh, date night!

51
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,247
{\an8}I'll go change my bra.

52
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,332
{\an8}I want to see
<i>Radioactive Man Re-Rises.</i>

53
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,376
{\an8}If Bart's going, I'm going!

54
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,586
{\an8}If Grampa's going, I'm going!

55
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,256
{\an8}If you all go,
then I have to pay for a babysitter.

56
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,715
{\an8}We'll call that nice girl

57
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,176
{\an8}who's getting her Masters
in Child Development.

58
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,386
{\an8}Emily-Beth?

59
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:17,595
{\an8}We can't afford Emily-Beth!

60
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,597
{\an8}She brings her own puppets!

61
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,891
{\an8}(cooing)

62
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,434
{\an8}Bye-bye, Maggie!

63
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,186
{\an8}Bye-bye, money.

64
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,439
{\an8}Two adults, two kids,

65
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,276
{\an8}and one senior with the mind
of a baby so he should be free.

66
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,195
For the 3-D show,
that'll be $72.

67
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,197
-What?!
-Or, for ten dollars more,

68
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:40,201
you can see it
in IMAX Hobbit Frame Rate

69
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,327
Virtual Reality Vision.

70
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,328
(moviegoers shuddering)

71
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,621
(vomits)

72
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:51,212
All right, movie,
you better be worth it.

73
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,630
(dramatic music plays)

74
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,389
(engines revving)

75
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,391
(dancers screaming)

76
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:08,688
HOMER:
The motorcycle dudes are chicks!

77
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,481
I wonder what else is chicks?

78
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,820
(women gasping)

79
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:21,242
♪ ♪

80
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,452
Don't ask.

81
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:23,828
Do smell.

82
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,538
<i>ANNOUNCER:</i>
<i>Also available in "Arctic Slut,"</i>

83
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,165
<i>"Morning After Melon"</i>
<i>and "Elon Musk."</i>

84
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,750
Hey... they tricked us!

85
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,293
That's a commercial!

86
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,629
If I wanted to pay
for commercials I can't skip,

87
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,297
I'd sign up for Hulu Plus!

88
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,506
Shh!

89
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,841
<i>You're</i> shushing <i>me?</i>

90
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,384
This guy's on his cell phone,

91
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,428
she's texting, he's sexting,

92
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,431
and that guy brought a baby
to a 9:00 movie!

93
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,266
That's negative, man.

94
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,185
What happened to the movies?

95
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:50,146
First they got worse than TV,
and now this!

96
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,024
(all gasping)

97
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,359
(yelling)

98
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,611
And stay out!

99
00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:57,946
(Homer moans)

100
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,364
Chins up, Homer.

101
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,658
You don't need a theater
to watch the movie.

102
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,118
You just have to illegally
download it.

103
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,453
Illegally download it?

104
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,788
Is that legal?

105
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,414
Who knows?
But it sure is easy.

106
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,707
I'll walk you through it.

107
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,042
All you have to do is...

108
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,543
<i>ANNOUNCER:</i>
<i>The FOX network forbids</i>

109
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,753
<i>the broadcast</i>
<i>of step-by-step instructions</i>

110
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,214
<i>for illegally downloading</i>
<i>copyrighted intellectual property.</i>

111
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:17,674
<i>In the meantime,</i>
<i>please enjoy this footage</i>

112
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,884
<i>from NASCAR's 2011</i>
<i>Martinsville Cup.</i>

113
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,637
(engines roaring)

114
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,516
Wow, that was easy.

115
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,518
All I had to do was click on...

116
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,687
(engines roaring)

117
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,148
And play!

118
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:37,235
♪ ♪

119
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,861
Bless you, boy.

120
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,322
That was the greatest thing
I've seen on a computer

121
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,658
that I can talk about with you
in the room.

122
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,326
How did you know how to do that?

123
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,828
I'm under 30.

124
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,247
Guys, guys,
I saw the Radioactive Man movie!

125
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,332
Here's my ten favorite
scenes from worst to best.

126
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,210
Number ten: when what's-his-name
did that stuff with those dudes.

127
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,504
-Number nine...
-Uh, Homer, that movie's been talked out.

128
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,423
We're discussing
the new James Bond flick.

129
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,550
I like that James Bond is ugly now.

130
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,677
I like that he doesn't have
any gadgets.

131
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,220
I like that he's not good at shooting,

132
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,597
doesn't say funny quips,
or do any James Bond stuff.

133
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,141
Shut up, shut up, shut up!

134
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,642
Homer, go to the theater
and see the movie.

135
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,060
(scoffs)
Theaters?

136
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,687
All I need to see this movie

137
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,440
is a laptop and a website
based in a country

138
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:18,192
that's really
just an offshore oil platform.

139
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,403
Care to join me?

140
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,448
♪ ♪

141
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,408
That was so much better
than the cinema.

142
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,201
It mixes the wonder of movie-going

143
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,870
with the rush of stealing.

144
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,622
All we want is brand-new,
big budget entertainment

145
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,291
in our homes for nothin'.

146
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,043
Why doesn't Hollywood get that?

147
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:39,547
Gentlemen, I am inspired to create
a theater for the people...

148
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,799
an experience
free of all the nuisances

149
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,886
and gouging
of modern-day moviegoing!

150
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,472
Yeah, no more jerks
talking on their cell phones!

151
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,932
No more jerks telling me not
to talk on my cell phone!

152
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,684
And best of all...

153
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,353
we'll never have to sit through

154
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:56,022
another annoying commercial again!

155
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:05,156
Welcome to "Cinema Pirate-diso."

156
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,325
Tonight's movie is <i>Life is Funny,</i>

157
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,243
directed by Judd Apatow.

158
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,412
It's based on his life,
starring his family

159
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,331
and ad-libbed by his friends.

160
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:16,584
So for the next three
and a half hours, enjoy!

161
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,587
(frustrated groan)

162
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,715
<i>Did you just pass gas</i>
<i>while we were making love?</i>

163
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,635
<i>You're the one who hired</i>
<i>the Korean taco truck</i>

164
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:28,012
<i>for our private school fund-raiser.</i>

165
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,138
(chuckles)

166
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,099
I live it, he writes it.

167
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,600
♪ ♪

168
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,022
Well, what did you think?

169
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,274
We may be going to Hell
for seeing "side bosom,"

170
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,777
but this backyard
is a little slice of Heaven,

171
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,445
all thanks to Homer Simpson!

172
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,780
(cheering)

173
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,281
This is fun!

174
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,075
And it was so nice of the movie company

175
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,952
to let you show their film.

176
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,870
Let me?
Uh, sweetheart,

177
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,790
I downloaded it off the Internet...

178
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,542
illegally.

179
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,627
An illegal download?

180
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,964
But Hollywood says stealing
from Hollywood is wrong.

181
00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:05,216
(scoffs)
Why should a regular guy like me

182
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,884
have to spend 15 bucks a ticket

183
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,220
so studios can pay huge salaries

184
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:12,515
to the <i>Air Buds</i>
and Ray Liottas of the world?

185
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,392
Oh!

186
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,395
When I watched
that pirated movie,

187
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,313
I was stealing with my eyes.

188
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,649
So I'm repaying
the good people in Hollywood

189
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:24,068
for the ticket I should have bought.

190
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,112
Now this money will end up
in the hands

191
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,697
of the talented people

192
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,950
who make magic happen
on the silver screen.

193
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:40,042
(inhales) Ah...

194
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,087
(startled gasp)

195
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,755
Karen, get me the FBI!

196
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,048
Karen!

197
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,259
{\an8}(dramatic music)

198
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:01,439
You people joined
this squad for one reason:

199
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,232
to fight movie pirates.

200
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,901
I wanted to catch serial killers.

201
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,903
"I wanted to catch serial killers."

202
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,738
From now on,
you will lay down your lives

203
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,990
to protect America's chick flicks,
buddy comedies,

204
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:14,160
and steady stream
of animated misfires.

205
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,163
Sir, you have to see this.

206
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,456
"Took it off the Web...

207
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:19,665
watched for free...

208
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,667
never pay for a movie again"?

209
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,003
Men, set your guns on "kill."

210
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,631
We're going after Homer Simpson.

211
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:28,049
I now present,

212
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,134
direct from the computer
of an angry editor

213
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,969
at a special effects house,

214
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,972
<i>Cosmic Wars Episode Seven.</i>

215
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,517
(epic orchestral theme playing)

216
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,734
(audience cheering)

217
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:49,820
My childhood has been un-ruined!

218
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,209
Listen up, seat meat!

219
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,752
You are all in violation of

220
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:07,213
Title 17
of the U.S. Copyright Code.

221
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:08,297
(all gasping)

222
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,132
Easy there, hotshot.

223
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,343
All the people are doing
is watching a movie.

224
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:14,637
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

225
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,972
I'm not wearing an undershirt

226
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,474
and my badge
is poking into my skin.

227
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,976
What's going on here?

228
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,894
Is there a fondler
in the neighborhood?

229
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,229
I'm here to arrest

230
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,022
and hopefully stage the prison suicide

231
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,024
of the mastermind of this operation--

232
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,401
Homer Simpson!

233
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,236
Ooh, mastermind.

234
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,780
We got our man, thanks to a tip

235
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:35,241
from a heroic American snitch.

236
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:37,994
(gasps)
One of you turned me in?

237
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,663
Who was it?

238
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,914
You!

239
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,959
Superintendent Chalmers,

240
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,586
you never forgave me
for that time

241
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,005
we wore the same Hawaiian shirt
to that luau!

242
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,049
They're gonna take Dad!

243
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,093
-We gotta do something!
-I'm on it.

244
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:03,352
(screams)
Copyrighted material!

245
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,687
Don't look at it!

246
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,606
Someone sell me a ticket!

247
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,190
Ear plugs in!
Blinders on!

248
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,692
We trained for this!

249
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,076
(gunshot)

250
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,871
(grunting)

251
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,335
From now on,

252
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,045
the only place
you'll be watching movies

253
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,422
without having to buy a ticket
is jail.

254
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:35,259
Oh... oh... (whimpers)

255
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,262
Baby, promise me you'll find out
who turned me in.

256
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,930
(moans)

257
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,266
It's probably someone
I would never suspect.

258
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,101
Never suspect.

259
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,686
(moans)

260
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,272
Your moans of sympathy
are all I have.

261
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,274
Oh...

262
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,151
HOMER:
Whoever did this to me will be haunted

263
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:54,945
by unbearable guilt forever!

264
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,531
Forever!

265
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,874
What are you guys in for?

266
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,250
Bank robbery.

267
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,670
Drug trafficking.
What about you?

268
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,463
-Movie piracy.
-(all gasp)

269
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:13,923
People in show business

270
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,883
work hard
to make those movies.

271
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:20,137
My media stocks under-performed
because of people like you.

272
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,556
My brother lost his job
as a grip

273
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,017
on a movie set
because of piracy.

274
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,811
He had to sell his Jet Ski.

275
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:30,272
A grip without a Jet Ski
ain't no grip at all!

276
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,400
(yelling)

277
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,903
Oh, you're about to find out

278
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:39,323
what we do
to copyright infringers.

279
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,324
(yelling)

280
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,992
(tires screech)

281
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:45,538
(all clamoring)

282
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:52,294
-(train horn blowing in distance)
-Uh... huh?

283
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,046
-(horn blowing)
-(screams)

284
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,550
(men yelling)

285
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,719
(grunting)

286
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,057
(screams)

287
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,520
Whoo-hoo!

288
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,032
It's almost like having Dad here.

289
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,660
Only with less growling
when I go near his food.

290
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,288
I just want to know
who dropped the dime on Dad.

291
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,622
Lousy rat.

292
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,041
Maybe the person
that turned your father in

293
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,711
thought they were doing
the right thing.

294
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,546
Homer just pirated a movie.

295
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,506
It's not the worst thing
Dad ever did.

296
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,134
It's not even the worst kind
of pirate Dad's ever been.

297
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,385
Lisa, tell your brother

298
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,471
that stealing is wrong,
no matter what.

299
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,722
I don't know.

300
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,016
It wasn't like Dad
was stealing for himself.

301
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:50,186
He created this wonderful experience
for the whole town.

302
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,938
I just can't imagine
anyone turning him in.

303
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,568
(door creaking open)

304
00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:01,071
-Dad, Dad, you're back, you're back!
-Dad, you're back!

305
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,657
Homer, what are you doing
out of prison?

306
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,826
You have to go back
and give yourself up.

307
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,620
I can't go back to jail!

308
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:11,040
There's no shampoo, just soap!

309
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,542
Wait, I know one place in Springfield

310
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,754
that doesn't care
about Internet piracy laws.

311
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,509
Thanks for taking us in.

312
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,178
Our family always appreciates asylum.

313
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:27,932
(laughs) This consulate
is like being on Swedish soil.

314
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,726
You're as safe here as you would be
in the Skatteskrapan.

315
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,977
(whistles)

316
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:36,106
Your country doesn't think
illegally downloading movies is wrong?

317
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,316
The people of Sweden believe

318
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,527
all movies should be shared freely.

319
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,362
How is that not stealing?

320
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:44,406
Bah, your Hollywood studios
are the real thieves,

321
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,785
claiming all their hit movies
have lost money.

322
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,037
I spit on their bookkeeping.

323
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,915
Yeah, and why don't they
make a sequel to <i>Taken</i>

324
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,875
where <i>The Hangover</i> guys get taken

325
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,544
and the only ones
that can rescue them

326
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,212
is <i>Fast and Furious.</i>

327
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:00,965
Aw, man,
I would love to pirate that.

328
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:03,926
As would
the proud people of Sweden.

329
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,469
(sirens blaring)

330
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,304
(tires screeching)

331
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,308
They've found us!

332
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,561
There's only one surefire way
to get fugitives

333
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,312
out of a foreign building--

334
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,189
blasting death metal.

335
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,651
<i>♪ Respecting the law,</i>
<i>respecting the law ♪</i>

336
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,821
<i>♪ Copyright law, copyright law ♪</i>

337
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,322
<i>♪ Copyright law, copyright law... ♪</i>

338
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:28,158
You like this?

339
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,828
Oh-oh, Swedes love death metal.

340
00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,664
It reminds us of death.

341
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:37,251
Damn those Peace Prize-giving
fish-smokers.

342
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,882
I'm so tired of being trapped
in this embassy.

343
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,300
Consulate.

344
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,843
Consulates are regional offices,

345
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:48,262
which serve the embassy
in the capitol.

346
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:52,641
Thank you so much
for sticking with me through all this.

347
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,935
You're the greatest wife
in the world.

348
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,645
(moaning)

349
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,606
It was me!

350
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,941
I was the one who told the FBI.

351
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,112
You? How could you?

352
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:06,864
You're my own flesh and blood.

353
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,617
I was just trying
to do the right thing.

354
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,410
Who would've thought
the authorities

355
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,038
would use a confession
against me?

356
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:17,124
Have you forgotten what you
promised at our wedding?

357
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,584
To love and cherish?

358
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,127
To aid and abet?

359
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,963
I never wanted to say funny vows.

360
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,049
Well, you did!
And they got laughs.

361
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,634
Solid laughs!

362
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,260
I didn't mean for this to happen,

363
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,471
but you <i>were</i> stealing.

364
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,182
All I ever had
was you looking out for me.

365
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:35,809
I got nothing now.

366
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,739
♪ ♪

367
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:09,802
All rise in the matter
of <i>The People v. Homer Simpson.</i>

368
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:13,347
The people call Hollywood
ultra-producer, Judd Apatow.

369
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,849
Homer Simpson is an enemy of art.

370
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,310
Art created by writers, directors,

371
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,855
and the guy who uses a computer
to erase or enhance nipples.

372
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,274
{\an8}And not just the people
who dream for a living,

373
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,276
{\an8}but the people who depend on us.

374
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,945
The spin class instructors,

375
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,614
the personal rabbis, Seth Rogen.

376
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,242
(laughing)

377
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,537
(crying)
It's true. I need him.

378
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,081
I saw a bootleg DVD
of <i>The 40 Year Old Virgin</i>

379
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,916
for sale at a car wash.

380
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,961
They left off
my director's commentary!

381
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,046
It didn't even have a blooper reel!

382
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,172
(all groaning)

383
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,841
(gavel banging)

384
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,676
Homer Simpson,
you have been found guilty

385
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,636
of illegal reproduction
and distribution

386
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,263
of copyrighted material.

387
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,682
Before sentencing, do you have
anything to say for yourself?

388
00:16:56,765 --> 00:17:00,769
-No.
-Homer, tell them your side of the story.

389
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,148
I know I hurt you,
but please trust me now.

390
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:05,524
It'll work.

391
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,944
You know what, Judge Apatow?

392
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,696
I do have something to say.

393
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,323
These movie people
may say I'm a pirate,

394
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,742
but I'm just a man.

395
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,327
A man who loved Hollywood
too much.

396
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,205
So I made my own rules
and fought the big guys

397
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,708
who tried to destroy my way of life.

398
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,293
He doesn't sound like a villain.

399
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,836
He sounds like a classic underdog.

400
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:27,838
He's the unlikeliest of heroes!

401
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:29,715
But where's the love story?

402
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,550
At first my wife didn't believe in me.

403
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:34,970
Maybe we forgot
why we fell in love in the first place.

404
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,182
But when times seemed darkest,
one minute ago,

405
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:41,226
she was there and gave me
the strength and courage

406
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,520
to fight for what I believe in.

407
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,483
He's a downloading David
versus a greedy Goliath.

408
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,486
An Erin Brockovich
but with more cleavage!

409
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,780
Two, three...
Good Lord, he's hitting

410
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,074
all four quadrants!

411
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:58,285
One family, against all odds,
took on the system...

412
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,245
and lost.

413
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,914
(clamoring)

414
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,249
Mr. Simpson, I'd like to buy
the rights to make a movie

415
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,876
based on your true story.

416
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,503
I'm attached as executive producer!

417
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,712
Attached! Attached!

418
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:11,757
One movie?
We envision a trilogy.

419
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,926
Will Smith's family
wants to play your family.

420
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,052
I'd be Jaden.

421
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,137
(all clamoring)

422
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:22,559
On behalf of Hollywood,
we are dropping all charges.

423
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,603
-(cheering)
-These people hate my dad.

424
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,855
How can they want
to make a movie about him?

425
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,816
Hollywood may be run
by big corporations

426
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,318
trying to squash people,
but they make movies

427
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,570
about people standing up
to big corporations

428
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,948
trying to squash them and winning.

429
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,909
I'll sign with whoever
can convince Channing Tatum

430
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,537
to gain the most weight
to play me.

431
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,629
ALL: Surprise!

432
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:52,047
What the hell is all this?

433
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,465
We're so excited about your movie

434
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,300
that we're having a special screening.

435
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,886
But the movie isn't in theaters
till next week.

436
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,847
Yeah, we ripped a version
off Bootleg Bay

437
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,557
just like you taught us.

438
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,058
It's still got timecode on it,

439
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,144
but, otherwise, it's a clean copy.

440
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,645
(chuckles)

441
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,981
You're pirating my movie?

442
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,984
The hell you are!
Piracy is stealing!

443
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,112
You're taking money
out of my family's mouths!

444
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:16,155
(gasping)

445
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:19,283
But the movie is...
it-it's about you pirating movies.

446
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,285
Oh, that's Hollywood fantasy.

447
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:25,205
We live in the real world,
where I have something called...

448
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,833
prof-it par-tic-i-pa-tion.

449
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,043
That's negative, man.

450
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,795
Oh, Homie...

451
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:36,300
Now all of you go see my movie
in the theater the day it opens!

452
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,302
No bargain matinees!

453
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,387
And tell your friends
it was great!

454
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:43,473
Buy the stuff they advertise
in the commercials before it!

455
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,560
Homer in the movie
wears Ask Body Spray,

456
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,228
and so should you!

457
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,647
Don't ask! Do smell!

458
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,274
Homie,
do you really think you should be...

459
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,483
Up-bup-bup-bup-bup!

460
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:57,029
What have we learned about
not blindly supporting our husband?

461
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,573
Ask Body Spray!

462
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,007
<i>But then</i>
<i>when times seemed darkest,</i>

463
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,551
she was there;
she gave me the strength and courage

464
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,595
to fight for what I believe in.

465
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,555
On behalf of Hollywood,

466
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:27,267
we're dropping all charges!

467
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,852
(cheering)

468
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:32,439
(laughing)

469
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,858
So what do you think, Lis?
Who are the good guys here,

470
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,611
the media companies
or the Internet freedom guys?

471
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,239
Well, both groups claim
their intentions are noble,

472
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,407
but at the end of the day,
they're both trying to steal

473
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,451
as much money as they can.

474
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,703
So... everyone's a pirate?

475
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,455
And the worst one of all is...

476
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:32,040
{\an8}(Seth Rogen laughing)

477
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!

478
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:40,007
Subtitled by Jimmy Boots

