1 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,838 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,214 (squeals) 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,636 (exclaiming) 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,810 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,022 (Barney belches) 6 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,815 (whistle blows) 7 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:26,067 (yells) 8 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,406 (beeping) 9 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,830 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:43,543 (playing the blues) 11 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,589 D'oh! 12 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:48,757 (tires screeching) 13 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,425 (grunts) 14 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,011 (electrical buzzing) 15 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,137 (Homer grunts) 16 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,513 MARGE: D'oh! Stupid fuse. 17 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,474 (kids groaning) 18 00:00:58,516 --> 00:00:59,893 (jaunty violin music plays) 19 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,436 (Marge groans) 20 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,146 Mmm! 21 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,567 Maggie? 22 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,651 Maggie! 23 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,153 Où est Maggie? 24 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,446 Maggie! 25 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:12,989 Mmm! 26 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,618 (honking) 27 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,119 (Lisa gasps) 28 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,372 -LISA: Mm-mm! -(Bart laughs) 29 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,250 (groans) 30 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,543 (grunts) 31 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,420 (honking) 32 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,423 (growling) 33 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,135 Hmm... 34 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,637 Maggie? 35 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,679 Maggie! 36 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,599 Hmm. Hey! 37 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,107 MARGE: Où est Maggie? 38 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,954 {\an8}(organ music plays) 39 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:04,415 {\an8}And it's for all these reasons and more 40 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,709 {\an8}that the Kingdom of Moab 41 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,629 {\an8}is the least interesting in the Bible. 42 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:10,964 {\an8}Amen. 43 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,715 {\an8}Amen! We're done! 44 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,803 {\an8}-Allow me to introduce our guest speaker -(Homer groans) 45 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,222 {\an8}from the ill-advised mission in Indonesia, 46 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,433 {\an8}the Reverend Kartawijaya. 47 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,768 {\an8}(Bart groans) 48 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,187 {\an8}-I know how you feel, young man. -Huh? 49 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,482 {\an8}Ha! The children in my village are just like you. 50 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,527 {\an8}One boy, named Sumadi, never comes to church. 51 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,862 {\an8}He is always tying 52 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,613 {\an8}the monkeys' tails together 53 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,615 {\an8}and yelling, "Tiger is gone," 54 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,701 {\an8}when, in fact, tiger is there. 55 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,536 {\an8}-Hmm! -Unfortunately, 56 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:43,288 {\an8}Sumadi is sick now. 57 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,540 {\an8}What?! Su-Sumadi has a problem? 58 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:48,084 {\an8}Sumadi and others equally doe-eyed... 59 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,128 {\an8}need urgent medical treatment. 60 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:53,173 {\an8}After all, we are all just children of Allah. 61 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,134 {\an8}I mean God. Sorry. Recent convert. 62 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,760 {\an8}Poor Sumadi. 63 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,804 {\an8}Born in such a terrible country. 64 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,139 {\an8}Now, wait a minute. 65 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,473 {\an8}But good news. 66 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,768 {\an8}To help him, we will now have a second collection. 67 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,395 {\an8}(congregation groans) 68 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,397 {\an8}Wasn't our sympathetic nodding enough? 69 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,690 {\an8}Mom, can I have some money? 70 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,901 {\an8}I'm sorry, honey. I'm all out. 71 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:16,070 {\an8}I spent all I had lighting that candle for Great Aunt Betty. 72 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:20,825 {\an8}I hope that wasn't somebody's Aunt Betty or something. 73 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:24,078 {\an8}Dad, please? For Sumadi? 74 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,955 {\an8}Sorry, son, I only have 20s. 75 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,290 {\an8}And if God needs money, 76 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,958 {\an8}why doesn't he just write another Bible? 77 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,627 {\an8}The first one sold pretty well. 78 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,086 {\an8}Does anyone remember 79 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,631 {\an8}when it was considered rude to talk in church? 80 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,257 Pipe down, Ned. 81 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,427 Please? 82 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,806 All right, son, 83 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,642 but you have to pay me back. 84 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,063 (sighs) Life is good. 85 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,606 -Do you have my money? -What? 86 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:52,565 Do you have my money? 87 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:53,816 How could I? 88 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,151 Right, right, too soon. 89 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:56,903 Do you have my money? 90 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:57,904 (groans) 91 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,824 Seriously, do you have my money? 92 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,576 Where's my money? 93 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,037 Huh? 94 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,667 (slurping) 95 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,002 Where's my money? 96 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,464 Where's... my... 97 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:19,384 mon... ey? 98 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:20,843 It's been a rough patch, man. 99 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,804 Hope you got something to cheer me up. 100 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,431 Well, there is one fun fact 101 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,101 I've been saving for an emergency situation. 102 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,979 Did you know there really was a Duncan Hines? 103 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,231 Where's my money? Do you have my money? Where is it? 104 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,316 You know, if you had the money, I'm right here. 105 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,567 Do you have the money? 106 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,902 Money-money-money-money-mon... 107 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,572 Homer, quit badgering the boy. 108 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,826 Pressure's how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge. 109 00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,744 I don't have any diamonds. 110 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,579 Quit pressuring me! 111 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,001 Money, money. I need money! 112 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,586 Would you eat anything for money? 113 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,130 I guess. Who are you? 114 00:04:57,213 --> 00:05:00,049 School play. Damn Yankees. 115 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,260 Children of the playground! 116 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,847 I will eat anything for money! 117 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,098 Except money! 118 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,560 I'll give you a quarter if you eat my gum. 119 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:14,063 I'll give you another if you eat mine. 120 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,025 Here's some orthodontic wax! 121 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,526 (lisps) And some cinnamon! 122 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,028 St. John's wort! 123 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,823 And here's something that'll make you 124 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,367 forget about the other stuff. 125 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:27,869 Ay caramba. 126 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,537 (blubbers) 127 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,955 So, what else you got? 128 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,665 All right, Simpson. 129 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,293 20 big ones says you're not messed-up enough 130 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,295 {\an8}to eat... this. 131 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,297 {\an8}(laughs) 132 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,423 {\an8}(whimpers) 133 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,300 {\an8}(gasps) No, Bart, no! 134 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,218 {\an8}Do it, and you'll always be known 135 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,554 {\an8}as the kid who ate the dead frog. 136 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,098 (Homer's voice) Where's my money? 137 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,224 Get my money! 138 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,642 Money-money-money-money-money! 139 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,232 (disgusted exclaiming) 140 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,944 -(slurps) -(kids exclaim) 141 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,947 Easiest money I ever... 142 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,532 (beeping) 143 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,452 Son, by rights, I should be playing banjo at your funeral. 144 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,662 That frog was filled to the gills with formaldehyde, 145 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,707 a highly toxic poison. (chuckles) 146 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,501 Here's your money, Dad. 147 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,544 What? Did you owe me some money? 148 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,214 And, Homer, here's your bill for $4,000. 149 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,465 D'oh! 150 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,008 Where's my money? You got my money? 151 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,885 Where's my money? (chuckles) 152 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,887 Seriously, where's my money? 153 00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:37,438 Ew! It's the kid who ate the dead frog! 154 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,945 Herbivore! 155 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,571 That's someone who eats plants. 156 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,032 I named the frog Herb. 157 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,701 Even you won't sit with me? 158 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,954 Bart, if you sit here, I'll be the boy 159 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,748 who sat next to the boy who ate the frog. 160 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,501 And I'm already the boy who shared a comb with a boy 161 00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,877 who threw up on the boy 162 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,380 who wet his pants at the winter carnival. 163 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,966 P.S. I would've given you the money. 164 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,217 (groans) 165 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,010 (tires screech) 166 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,014 (school bell rings) 167 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,271 (tires squeal) 168 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,150 What's the matter, frog in your throat? 169 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,235 You're the ones that paid me to eat it. 170 00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:26,571 All we hear is: ribbit, ribbit! 171 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:28,698 (bird shrieks) 172 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,658 (exclaiming) 173 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:33,703 You said this was a simple bullying job! 174 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,125 Diggs and Freedom at your service. 175 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,626 Diggs is short for Digby. 176 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,337 Thanks. I'm the kid that ate the frog. 177 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,672 Oh, so you're the reason 178 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,049 I had to dissect a Muppet in biology today. 179 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,637 Thanks for the help, man. 180 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,514 Oh, you're welcome. At least, from me. 181 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,433 There's no way to say what the bird thinks. 182 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,268 Or even if he thinks, really. 183 00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,687 Wait, wait, wait! Who the hell are you? 184 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,522 I transferred here a few months ago. 185 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,649 To this school? On purpose? 186 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,526 Even after Springfield Montessori opened 187 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,195 across the street? 188 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,281 (gentle classical music plays) 189 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,494 That place is really in your face. 190 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,995 I like the lack of attention. 191 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,538 (quietly) Especially in here. 192 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:28,049 This school has a falconry club? 193 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,258 No way. 194 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,676 I resuscitated it. 195 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,678 I'm president, secretary treasurer 196 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,096 and faculty advisor. 197 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,140 That took a lot of fancy paperwork. 198 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,476 But it was worth it to be left alone. 199 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,937 Can I join? 200 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,105 Hmm. I'll have to check with Freedom. 201 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,190 (loud clink) 202 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,900 Habemus Papam! 203 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,318 We have a poop! 204 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,028 It's white. You're in. 205 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:54,367 Looks like the falconry club's back from the dead. 206 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,077 Can the Esperanto Society be far behind? 207 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,662 (chuckles) I mean... 208 00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:01,290 Cu la Esperanto-Societo esti multe malantau? 209 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,042 (sighs) Two languages, 210 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,211 and somehow no one will talk to you. 211 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,837 Gi estas vera. 212 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,881 -Mi tre soleca. -Loser. 213 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,550 The first thing to learn about falcons 214 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,552 is how beautiful they are in flight. 215 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,719 (screeches) 216 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,806 ♪ ♪ 217 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,475 Don't fret. He'll be back. 218 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,894 There's my sky grandma! 219 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,187 (grumbles) 220 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,648 Bart's usually first in line for Taco Night, 221 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,733 but now he's muy tarde. 222 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,902 (quiet gasp) Oh, is it all right to say "tarde"? 223 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,696 Mmm, hey, you've said it twice, Marge-- 224 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,906 you're in pretty deep. 225 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:34,991 Homer! 226 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,951 Ten-minute rule! 227 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:37,994 Lisa! 228 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,996 (muffled) What? A rule's a rule. 229 00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:42,999 There he is! (gasps) 230 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,585 Ah, he is just riding that thermal! 231 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,753 You were right about watching him fly. 232 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,088 I thought you'd get it. 233 00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:50,673 Seat backs and tray tables, Bart. 234 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,174 We're coming in for a landing. 235 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,634 (screeches) 236 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,096 Wow, you don't know how impressive that is 237 00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,765 to a boy whose dad can't even get the dog to sit. 238 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,851 Sit. Sit. 239 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,020 Sit... 240 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,521 Sit! 241 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,023 (yells) Sit! 242 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,233 I don't know what that is, 243 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,027 but it's not sitting! 244 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,696 Where could Bart be? 245 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,865 I saw him heading across the field after school 246 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,035 with a kid a little bit older and undoubtedly wiser. 247 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:22,371 Oh, I know what that means! 248 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:26,542 There comes a time when a boy sneaks his first beer. 249 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,503 Finally! I was beginning to think that kid was a... 250 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,297 (quietly) teetotaler. 251 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,549 Bart Simpson, at your service. 252 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,968 More like "at your six-pack," am I right? 253 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,386 (laughs) 254 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,722 It's okay if you need to take a little nap. 255 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,140 Why would I want a nap? 256 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:44,560 Because you're so drunk you can barely keep it together. 257 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,645 I wasn't drinking. 258 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,439 I was learning that nature isn't a complete waste of space. 259 00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:49,982 That doesn't sound like you. 260 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,109 But it does sound like the kind of lie 261 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,321 you'd make up after the first time you got blitzed. 262 00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,364 I met this kid. 263 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,990 A little older, kind of strange. 264 00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,325 I don't think other people get him. 265 00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,577 But I just want to hang out with him all the time. 266 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,829 (gasps) It's even better than I thought. 267 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,166 You've found your Moe Szyslak! 268 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,959 In just a few short years, 269 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,170 you'll be getting your version of baked 270 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,047 on your version of pot 271 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,591 listening to your version of Journey. 272 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,884 (laughs) 273 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:17,927 Wha...? 274 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,512 What's he doing? 275 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,724 (Freedom cries) 276 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,351 Now, when he lands, you'll feed him 277 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:28,437 so he has positive associations with you. 278 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,189 (squawks) 279 00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,692 Don't worry, he's only bitten off one of my fingers. 280 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,276 -(gasps) -(laughs) 281 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,361 Just goofing on you. 282 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,279 This is the finger he bit off. 283 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,703 If he starts to carry you off, slip out of the glove. 284 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,287 Now tell him to fly. 285 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,706 Fly! Fly! 286 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,583 Come on, man! Do the wing thing! 287 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,626 (Freedom squawking) 288 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,711 I did it! He did it! 289 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,045 We did it! 290 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,213 Yes, Bart, that is 291 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,464 how you conjugate the verb "to do." 292 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,049 Well done. 293 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,971 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 294 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,639 D'oh! 295 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:08,310 ♪ I'm going away with my friend ♪ 296 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,813 ♪ We'll Saturday spend ♪ 297 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:15,484 ♪ Till the end of the day... ♪ 298 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,446 Hey! 299 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,114 Bring back my bling. 300 00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,533 ♪ Just I and my friend ♪ 301 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:24,535 ♪ We'll travel for miles ♪ 302 00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,580 ♪ In our Saturday smiles ♪ 303 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:28,706 Give that back! 304 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,250 All I got is a hole in my face! 305 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,836 (nasally) Uncle Krusty's back. 306 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,467 (Freedom cries) 307 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,927 Whoa! Did you teach him to do that? 308 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,847 (laughs) Nobody could communicate that. 309 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:47,016 Except maybe Gerard Manley Hopkins. 310 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,268 "I caught this morning morning's minion, 311 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,770 kingdom of daylight's dauphin, 312 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,022 dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding 313 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:56,567 of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding. 314 00:12:56,650 --> 00:13:00,321 High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing." 315 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,114 Wow! 316 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,491 (frog croaks) 317 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,201 I've already eaten. 318 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,120 Hey, you want to see something really cool? 319 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,706 Is a falcon's training leash called a creance? 320 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,707 Yes! 321 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:21,884 (grunts) 322 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,470 Say something so I know you're not hurt. 323 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,972 -I'm really hurt. -Phew! 324 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,562 Bartholomew! 325 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,855 Good to see you, old sport. 326 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,148 Where's Freedom? 327 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,859 Well, my dad said don't bring home any more dogs, cats, 328 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,069 turtles or snakes, 329 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,654 but he never said anything 330 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,073 about predatory birds. 331 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,407 (muffled squawk) 332 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,742 (fans cheering) 333 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,120 Okay, in your terms, points are like mice... 334 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,288 (screeches) 335 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,706 Don't interrupt. I just thought 336 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,625 it would be nice if we shared an interest. 337 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,126 (Freedom screeches) 338 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:58,712 Ooh... 339 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:02,049 You Korean girls know what a soldier likes. 340 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,551 (squawks) 341 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,803 Fine! But the game is much more enjoyable 342 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,054 if you understand it. 343 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,098 Look, the Eagles and the Falcons. 344 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,016 Tell me you're not interested in that. 345 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,059 (Freedom screeches) 346 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:13,060 (groans) 347 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,895 I could fly, too, if I didn't have 348 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,397 a wife and three kids! 349 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,941 Hey, you've had a lot of visitors. 350 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,901 No, I signed them myself. 351 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,237 They're people I would've liked to come visit. 352 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,406 Ay, caramba! 353 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:28,576 Listen, what happened in that tree? 354 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,369 Um, you want the truth? 355 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:31,579 Of course you do. 356 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,163 You're like Diogenes. 357 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,915 But with slingshot in place of lamp. 358 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,421 I wanted to fly. 359 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,548 I know it sounds a little crazy now, 360 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,009 but I suddenly thought maybe we can all fly, 361 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,011 but somehow we've forgotten that we can. 362 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:49,346 You don't still think that, do you? 363 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,016 Hey, I'm not flying anywhere with this broken wing. 364 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,519 Bart, here's another doctor that would like 365 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,730 a few words with this young man. 366 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:01,108 This hospital has another doctor? 367 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,698 So they're transferring him to another hospital. 368 00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:10,659 Well, I hope he gets out soon and takes his bird back. 369 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,829 I don't care for how it circles the cat. 370 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,206 (cat yowling) 371 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,542 He's just riding the thermals from Dad's butt. 372 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,462 At least someone in this family is using them. 373 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:23,088 I never heard of this new hospital, 374 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,965 so I looked it up and printed it out. 375 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,634 Ooh! 376 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,135 Can I visit him tomorrow? 377 00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,471 (sighs) I don't know, Bart. 378 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:34,850 This is one of those Arkham Asylum-type hospitals. 379 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,477 Diggs isn't cuckoo! 380 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,937 Uh, listen, boy. 381 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,563 Maybe you should spend more time 382 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,607 with your old best friend. 383 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,025 You know, Dweebler. 384 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,778 Milhouse abandoned me. 385 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,529 So, why can't I go there? 386 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,949 Bart, if this is what I think it is, 387 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:53,452 it's not a place we should ever, ever take a little boy. 388 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,162 Then why is Diggs there? 389 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:58,290 Because it's his home forever. 390 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,795 You know, Bart, 391 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:05,130 just because Diggs is a little different 392 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,383 doesn't mean he's not a good person. 393 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,301 What would you know about friends like Diggs? 394 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,803 I have about eight of them. 395 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,554 So, how do we fix him? 396 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,181 Oh, Bart. 397 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,850 Diggs's problems don't have easy fixes. 398 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,395 What kind of cheer-up talk is this? 399 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,773 Well, sometimes it helps to know people feel for you. 400 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,817 (chuckles) Want a hug? 401 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,154 You hug the bedpost. 402 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,406 Then I hug the bedpost. 403 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,658 That way we never hug each other. 404 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:40,916 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 405 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,086 ♪ I'm going away... ♪ 406 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,087 Hey, Simpson. 407 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,089 I heard bird boy got a new cage. 408 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,591 One with rubber bars. 409 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,677 Yeah, and a rubber perch! 410 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,178 Yeah, yeah, and a... 411 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,055 I get it. It sucks. 412 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,390 Really sucks. 413 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,183 Rubber birdfeeder. 414 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,644 Making fun of the mentally ill-- 415 00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:02,479 real classy. 416 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:03,397 But you guys were... 417 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,399 We were what, Captain Sensitive? 418 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:12,322 The rumors of my bonkertude have been greatly exaggerated. 419 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,616 DSM-5 indicates paranoid schizophrenia, 420 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,910 but that work is mired in controversy. 421 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:17,911 Mired. 422 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,329 I knew you'd escape! 423 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,248 Were you carried out by a flock of falcons? 424 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,666 I got a one-day pass. 425 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,460 Were falcons involved in any way? 426 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,588 I obtained the pass to enter the Springfield Falconry Contest, 427 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,381 which is what Freedom and I were training for 428 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,674 when we first met you. 429 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,009 Oh, great. 430 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,635 Before anything else, let me just get closer 431 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,513 to the door and say, "How crazy are you?" 432 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,932 I'm fine. My meds won't wear off till tonight. 433 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:42,352 Then I'll have Freedom tear you to shreds. 434 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,104 No offense, but when a crazy guy 435 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:47,024 pretends to be crazy, it's not funny. 436 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,692 You're discounting all talk radio. 437 00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,870 Excellent. 438 00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:03,540 COMIC BOOK GUY: Fly, my pet, fly! 439 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,334 -Yes! -(falcon cries) 440 00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,628 Yes, now back to Papa. 441 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,171 Yes. 442 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,841 Why am I not surprised the only sport you do 443 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,552 is one where a bird brings you food? 444 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,679 Um, a falcon's greatest joy 445 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,014 is to serve its master. 446 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,933 (squawks) Fatso! 447 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,434 Once again, I must point out 448 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:23,769 that you are not a parrot. 449 00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:25,979 Fatso, fatso! Pees in the shower! 450 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,898 -(squawks) -Shut up. 451 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:31,819 What are you doing? 452 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:32,861 We're up next. 453 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,029 When Freedom hits the air, 454 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,781 you and I open all the cages. 455 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,157 Um... 456 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,659 with our minds? 457 00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:39,743 No. 458 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:40,953 With this rope. 459 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,079 I'm a messed-up kid. 460 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,664 I'm not Magneto. 461 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,749 ANNOUNCER: Diggs and Freedom. 462 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,343 (all squawking) 463 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,971 "In his ecstasy. 464 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,682 Then off, off forth on swing!" 465 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,475 Where's my bird going? 466 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,643 Wherever he wants. 467 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:05,853 He's free now. 468 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,523 If you see the stork what brings us babies, kill it! 469 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:14,945 Now, Bart, I'm afraid one-day passes don't last forever. 470 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,655 And I'm probably not going to get another one 471 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,448 for quite a while. 472 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:19,616 Wait! 473 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,160 Wh-When will I see you? 474 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,953 You can't quit the falconry club! 475 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,788 It's all yours, Mr. President. 476 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,166 Well, I guess some delicate birds 477 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,376 are safer in a cage. 478 00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,795 I had thought of it as a therapeutic milieu, 479 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,965 but now "cage" is stuck in my head, so thanks. 480 00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:37,551 And thanks for being my friend. 481 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,312 Bart, when I pushed you away, 482 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,648 I was really pushing away the thought of losing you. 483 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,859 How long did it take you to think that up? 484 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,777 Two hours with a therapist. 485 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,862 I'll take that. 486 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,572 She came in on a Saturday. 487 00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:01,033 Missed her kid's karate demonstration. 488 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,409 He was going up a belt. 489 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,952 Enough! 490 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,086 Mom, you didn't cook the falcon? 491 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,380 Of course not. It's just duck. 492 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,798 -Aw. -Aw. 493 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,134 (munching loudly) 494 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,637 Pass the peas, please. 495 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,142 Shh! 496 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,940 Subtitled by D. Hinson