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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(giggles)
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D'oh!
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(grunts)
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Woo-hoo!
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(screams)
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D'oh!
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{\an8}And I regret to inform you
that our Soviet sister city,
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{\an8}Springograd, has disappeared
from the map.
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{\an8}Now, I'd like to welcome
our beloved four-time mayor,
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{\an8}Hans Moleman!
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{\an8}(applause)
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{\an8}Springfielders, rejoice.
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{\an8}What is the one thing
our blessed little town has lacked?
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{\an8}A human zoo?
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{\an8}What we lack is a town anthem.
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{\an8}And you're in luck,
because I have written one.
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{\an8}Mr. Largo, if you please.
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{\an8}Mm-hmm.
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{\an8}♪ ♪
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{\an8}♪ There's a special little place ♪
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{\an8}♪ A special smile on every face ♪
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{\an8}♪ A town called Springfield ♪
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{\an8}♪ Special buildings, special sky ♪
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{\an8}♪ A unique place to live and die ♪
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{\an8}♪ Only Springfield ♪
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{\an8}♪ Of all the cities on the mappy ♪
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{\an8}♪ You're the one
that makes me happy ♪
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{\an8}♪ Only Springfield, only Springfield... ♪
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{\an8}Stop the anthem!
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{\an8}What is it, Moe?
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{\an8}I was in Tuscaloosa on vacation.
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{\an8}Started out great.
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{\an8}They got a joint there
called Moe's Original Barbeque.
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{\an8}But then I heard their city anthem!
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{\an8}Give a listen!
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{\an8}♪ Of all the cities on the mappy ♪
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{\an8}♪ You're the one
that makes me happy ♪
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{\an8}♪ Only Tuscaloosa,
only Tuscaloosa ♪
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{\an8}That's our song.
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{\an8}They just changed
"Springfield" to "Tuscaloosa."
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{\an8}(growls)
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{\an8}Guns are for celebrating.
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{\an8}What do you do with them
when you're angry?
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{\an8}Now, calm down.
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{\an8}This could just be
an amazing musical coincidence.
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{\an8}There ain't no coincidences
in popular songs, bony.
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{\an8}♪ Only Austin... ♪
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{\an8}♪ Only Oakland... ♪
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{\an8}♪ Only Calgary... ♪
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{\an8}♪ Only Provo... ♪
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{\an8}(singing in foreign language)
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{\an8}♪ Area 51... ♪
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{\an8}(crowd clamoring)
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{\an8}We've been singing this song
like it only belonged to us,
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{\an8}when every city in America's
had its lips on it!
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{\an8}Even... Des Moines.
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{\an8}(spits)
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Wait a minute.
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This song was supposedly
written by former Mayor Moleman!
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(crowd murmuring)
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Oh, I didn't write it.
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I bought it from a salesman
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who was selling it
to half the towns in America.
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I didn't think you'd find out,
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because I never thought any of us
would ever go anywhere.
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{\an8}Well, then what do I do
with this?!
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{\an8}Now I can't be buried
in a Jewish cemetery!
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Please be merciful.
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Hyah!
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(horse neighs)
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Boy, sure is nice not to be the one
on the horse for a change.
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As mayor, I balanced the budget
eight times!
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I still believe in this town--
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a town that deserves
its own original song.
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And as an aspiring musician
with off-Broadway dreams,
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I'm the one to write it.
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So ordered.
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I'll write that song.
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Pharrell Williams?!
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I'm sorry, everyone,
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but the eight-year-old girl
got there first.
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I understand.
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♪ It might seem crazy
what I'm about to say ♪
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♪ Sunshine, she's here,
you can take a break... ♪
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Hyah!
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Shelbyville rules!
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Springfield drools...!
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Let's see.
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What rhymes with "Jebediah"?
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"Tire fire"?
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-How about "Patty and Selma"?
-"Fatty and smell ya."
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-"Mr. Teeny"?
-"Sister wienie."
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You've got a gift!
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Well, don't be so surprised.
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I did write that
"Lisa, It's Your Birthday" song.
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Yeah, with that mental patient
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who thought he was
Michael Jackson.
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Whoa.
Thinking back, I'm kind of surprised
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Mom and Dad let a crazy man
spend all night in my bedroom.
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Simpler time.
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Bart, I need your help to write
a new anthem for Springfield.
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Will you team up with me?
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Hmm. What's in it for me?
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Uh, I'll make brownies later.
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Whoa, that is the best deal
any songwriter ever got.
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And that's true
even if I don't get the brownies.
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I'm in!
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I think we might just make a good team,
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like Maggie and Grampa.
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{\an8}♪ ♪
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What are you doing?
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What's it look like?
Writing a song.
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(scoffs)
Artists.
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(makes farting noises)
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♪ ♪
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We did it!
We wrote an awesome song!
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We make a great brother
and sister team,
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like Andy and Lana Wachowski.
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Should we hug?
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Mm, how about a fist bump
through a towel?
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That works.
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(laughs)
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I saved us seats.
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Oh, thank you, Homie.
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Thank you, roll of masking tape.
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Uh, gonna be a tight fit.
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(grunting)
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(sighs)
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♪ Springfield's the only home
that we've got ♪
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♪ But to be frank, there's not a lot ♪
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♪ To recommend it ♪
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♪ We've got a big sinkhole ♪
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♪ And they shut down
the think hole ♪
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♪ Hashtag: SpringfieldPride ♪
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♪ Has never ever trended... ♪
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This is not boosterism!
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Warm up the horse.
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♪ But when you think
of the things we lack ♪
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♪ 'Stead of the stuff we've got ♪
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♪ Why Springfield? ♪
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♪ Why not? ♪
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♪ We've only had a hurricane once ♪
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{\an8}♪ We haven't had
a circus fire in months ♪
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{\an8}♪ Springfield ♪
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♪ Why not? ♪
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♪ Ooh, we're just off the interstate ♪
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♪ Ah, the second right off exit 8... ♪
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He didn't blow his line.
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Sarah, let's have another!
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♪ You may find our culture lacking ♪
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♪ We finally outlawed our snake whacking ♪
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♪ Sure, our cops are easily bought ♪
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♪ And our dentists are all self-taught ♪
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♪ But hooray for Springfield ♪
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♪ Give two cheers ♪
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♪ Smallpox-free for seven years ♪
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♪ Why Springfield? ♪
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♪ Why not? ♪
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(crowd cheering)
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What a song!
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I feel as if I'm in the lobby
of the Brill Building!
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(cheering continues)
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Homer, it's a standing ovation.
Get up.
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Our kids just did something amazing.
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Well, not Maggie.
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-Get up!
-Okay, okay.
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Standing "O" or die!
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(grunting loudly)
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Woo-hoo!
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(laughter)
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Stop laughing at me!
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(crowd screams)
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(groans)
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(screams)
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(sighs)
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Occupied.
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Ah!
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(crowd screaming)
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Stop fearing me!
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(sobbing)
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Damn it!
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Please keep spinning it.
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I don't want to look at it.
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Can't you say something
to make me feel better?
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(sighs)
187
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I'm sorry, but I can't.
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I'm tired of you saying
planes have gotten smaller
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and two presidents
were fatter than you, and...
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(sighs)
191
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Fine, I got it.
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Starting right now,
a yearlong juice cleanse.
193
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Every morning, I get a colonic,
194
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:08,798
and I sleep in a sauna every night.
195
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,134
Oh, that's not a healthy way
to lose weight.
196
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It's not about health, Marge,
it's about going crazy.
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You don't have to do this alone.
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What the...?
199
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Hmm.
200
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(sighs)
This is it.
201
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My name is Roy, and this week
I gained seven pounds.
202
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Yes!
203
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No shame there!
204
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You go, girth!
205
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Huh? Oh, I'm sorry.
206
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,383
I thought you were
Over-Feeders Anonymous.
207
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,385
No, no.
In fact, quite the opposite.
208
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We are Big Is Beautiful.
209
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,223
So you guys are proud
of what you are?
210
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,810
We do not cower in the shadows,
we make the shadows.
211
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,061
Do you guys serve snacks?
212
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,605
We've got ice cream hoagies,
213
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,316
deep-fried sugar bags,
Dorsnickos, Snickeritos,
214
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:11,986
Milky Snicks, Porksicles,
and of course diet soda.
215
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,321
(murmurs of agreement)
216
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,323
Yes, mustn't forget the diet soda.
217
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,491
I have so many questions for you.
218
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,869
First of all,
is this floor reinforced?
219
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,249
You know,
maybe I shouldn't be here.
220
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,710
I promised my wife I'd lose weight.
221
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:28,669
Huh?
222
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,046
MAN:
If I may.
223
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,632
{\an8}HOMER: Ooh, labeled.
224
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:36,719
Our loved ones, though precious,
can often be a hurdle.
225
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,471
-Who are you?
-I'm the founder
226
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,473
of our little group, Albert.
227
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,183
Ooh, like Fat Albert!
228
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,644
We never use the word "fat" here.
229
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,812
-Sorry.
-My dear fat friend,
230
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,649
all your wife needs
is a little education.
231
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,858
Now repeat after me.
232
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,318
I am big.
233
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,653
I am big.
234
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,488
I am beautiful.
235
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,407
I have a beauty of a sort to some.
236
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,535
No one can make me feel bad
about who I am
237
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:04,580
because this is who I am!
238
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:05,581
Ditto!
239
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,375
You know, I've always wanted
240
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,126
to blindly follow somebody,
241
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:12,171
and I think
you just might be the guy.
242
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,589
Marge, kids,
243
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,676
tonight was a turning point
in my life.
244
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,052
Well, that's great, Homie.
245
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,262
Just let me finish
uploading this photo.
246
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,848
HOMER:
No, Marge, you have to listen!
247
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,976
That place you sent me to
changed my life.
248
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Thank you, Lord!
249
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,689
And I'll give up
online scrapbooking,
250
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:30,981
like I promised.
251
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,443
They taught me that I don't
need to lose weight.
252
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,612
I should just be proud
of what I am.
253
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,863
What?
254
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,657
Restore, restore!
255
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,659
(buzzer sounds)
256
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,035
I met a guy...
257
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,704
a wonderful guy...
258
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,205
Oh, Lord.
259
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,581
It's not what you think.
260
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,833
His name is Albert,
261
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,293
and he taught me
not to buy into the lies
262
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,254
taught by Big Nutrition.
263
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,297
That's worse than what I thought.
264
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,801
Marge, you're my wife
of ten years and I love you,
265
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,929
but I must observe
the teachings of this man
266
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,639
I just met tonight.
267
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,559
Now, the first thing
I have to do is make amends.
268
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,519
With the bathroom scale.
269
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,147
I'm so sorry
I threw you across the room
270
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,773
and called you a liar.
271
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,609
When you told me
I was 260 pounds,
272
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,945
you were just encouraging me.
273
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:21,157
It was a poem you were writing
about my potential.
274
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,534
I'm gonna start celebrating
my size,
275
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,953
and I need you with me
as a partner.
276
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,329
Now, if you'll excuse me,
277
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,040
I need to talk
to the broken porch swing.
278
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,667
HOMER:
So, from now on,
279
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,420
you guys can no longer say
these hateful words:
280
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,714
"chubby, chunky, blobbo, slobbo,
281
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:40,259
fat bastard, Michelin Man,
Stay Puft, Chumbawumba,
282
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:41,635
'It is balloon!',
283
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,721
Papa Grande, Augustus Gloop,
284
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,223
beached whale, big-boned,
Wisconsin skinny,
285
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,602
butterball, dump truck,
Jelly Belly, pudgy-wudgy,
286
00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,896
lard-ass, blubberino,
Buddha belly,
287
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,856
Hurry Eat Tubman,
one-ton soup,
288
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,400
Blob Saget, Chub Hub,
Calvin Cool Whip,
289
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,611
Manfred Mannboobs,
21 Lump Street,
290
00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:01,530
walking 'before' picture, fatso,
Harvey Milk Chocolate,
291
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,700
Obese Want Cannoli,
Mahatma Gumbo,
292
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,994
Salvador Deli, Elmer Pantry,
293
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:10,873
KFC and the Sponge Cake Band,
Snackie Onassis,
294
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,917
The Foody Blues,
Hoagie Carmichael
295
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,168
and wide load."
296
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:15,920
What about Mr. Two Belts?
297
00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,087
Good, good!
298
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,423
By which I mean,
"Bad, bad!"
299
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,133
You know, as long as
we're opening this up--
300
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,843
and I'm glad you are--
301
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,221
I want to tell you guys that
when you call me a gargoyle,
302
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:29,099
a troll, or a homunculus,
it kind of hurts my feelings.
303
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,476
What? You're kidding.
304
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:31,769
We never dreamed.
305
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,729
Who knew goblins had feelings?
306
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,481
You see?
That's what I'm talking about. Because...
307
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,566
CROWD (chanting):
We're big! We're proud!
308
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,568
Two of us can make a crowd!
309
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,988
Sorry, fellas.
There's a movement I have to join.
310
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,408
I've learned there's something
more important than drinking:
311
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,410
eating.
312
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:52,081
Thank you for the easy financing!
313
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,916
What the...?!
314
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,919
Your store is forcing
unattainable body images
315
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,420
on our young people.
316
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,507
I say, end the thinsanity!
317
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,342
You, my friend, are wrong.
318
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:07,429
Every girl should look like
a sexy praying mantis from Milan
319
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,931
whose hips are narrower
320
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,600
than an Italian
parliamentary majority.
321
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,018
Whew.
322
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,271
(siren whoops)
323
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,856
Okay, people, show's over.
324
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,607
Nothing to eat here.
325
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,025
Now move along.
326
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:20,943
If you can.
327
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,279
If not,
we're gonna have to take you in.
328
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,155
Clancy, what are you doing?
329
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,448
You're one of us!
330
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,908
You're right.
331
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,119
Take me in, Lou.
332
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,704
Ow, ah.
333
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:32,913
(grunting)
334
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,039
Hey! Why?
335
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,375
Ah, geez, Lou.
336
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,085
You seem to be enjoying this.
337
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,753
Just doing my job, Chief.
338
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,963
(Taser crackles)
339
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,339
Oh, that's some nice
Tase work, Lou.
340
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,592
(grunting)
341
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,053
Homer Simpson?
342
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,305
HOMER:
Right here!
343
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,848
Excuse me. Pardon me.
344
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,391
Coming through.
345
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,893
Coming back. Excuse me.
346
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,227
Pardon me. There we go.
347
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,562
Uh, coming up.
348
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,771
What can I do for you?
349
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,273
You're free on bail.
350
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,027
People, give thanks
to that woman,
351
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:06,488
standing up for all of us,
even though she's a lighty.
352
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,740
Thank you.
353
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,325
Although,
I think the worst thing
354
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:12,661
that ever happened to my husband
was joining your group.
355
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,746
(crowd gasps, murmurs)
356
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:14,705
(clears throat)
357
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,290
I'll handle this.
358
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,460
What is the point of a long life
if it's not enjoyed?
359
00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:20,711
(drooling moan)
360
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,546
Homer, you have to choose.
361
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,132
And I think the choice is clear.
362
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,143
Guys, I'm coming back in!
363
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,561
Suck in your guts.
364
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,813
(all inhaling)
365
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:42,149
(sighs) Home.
366
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,651
(groans)
367
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,575
(laughing)
368
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,161
Whee! Whee!
369
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,580
Who's he giving a piggyback ride to?
370
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:57,873
We don't know.
371
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,875
Mom, what's wrong?
372
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,418
How come Dad's not with you?
373
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,837
Are they setting bail by the pound?
(laughs)
374
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:07,549
He chose to spend the night
in a jail with strangers
375
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,801
instead of me.
376
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,219
Mom, Lisa and I learned
377
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,180
that we can solve any problem
through song.
378
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,183
Lisa, let's go write something
that'll change Dad's mind.
379
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,434
Do you really think
380
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,478
that we can write a song
that does that?
381
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,188
I just wanted to get
out of the room.
382
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,023
She was really bumming me out.
383
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,027
Ah, geez.
384
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,697
I thought writing another hit song
would be easier.
385
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,991
Well, it would've helped if you
hadn't crumpled up all the paper
386
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,952
before we wrote anything on it.
387
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,286
No more judgment!
388
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,705
No more jokes!
389
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,332
We will not be made
to feel less than
390
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,460
because we are greater than!
391
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,338
I was distinctly promised no math!
392
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,800
Homer, I want to say something
extremely important
393
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,970
the way a woman does--
subtly, through someone else.
394
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,221
Kids...
395
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,807
♪ ♪
396
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,767
-Take it, Bart!
-You take it!
397
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,144
I gave it to you!
398
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,437
I refuse to accept it!
399
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,063
LENNY:
Just start the song!
400
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,398
We couldn't write a song.
401
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,941
We're one-hit wonders.
402
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,401
But is that such a crime?
403
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,028
Look at J.D. Salinger.
404
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,362
Franny and Zooey.
405
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,488
Rubik's Cube!
406
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:12,656
Rubik's Snake!
407
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,742
Charles M. Schulz.
408
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:15,909
You've got me there.
409
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,369
It's her fault.
410
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,038
She was sucking all the gangsta
out of everything.
411
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,789
Well, you're the only
"gangsta" I know
412
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,458
with a 9:00 bedtime.
413
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,044
9:30, starting in summer.
Mom said.
414
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,920
Ah, kids, stop arguing.
415
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,797
Or keep arguing.
416
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,424
I don't care.
417
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,469
Homer, I'm sorry I tried to help you
control your weight.
418
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,971
(sighs)
I'm not sure of anything anymore.
419
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,057
Sorry I ever opened my mouth.
420
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,850
Marge, it's not your fault
421
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:43,145
that you can't win against
a superior being like Albert.
422
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,480
(slurps)
423
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,565
Mmm.
424
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,943
But, Marge, I don't want you
to ever stop caring about me.
425
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,738
How can you follow a leader
who won't even get up out of his chair?
426
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,448
Marge,
I believe you're forgetting
427
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:58,243
America's greatest wartime
wheelchair-bound leader:
428
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,621
Professor X of the X-Men.
429
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:03,332
It's not that Professor X
wouldn't get up,
430
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,833
it's that he couldn't!
431
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,753
Well, I'll show you who can get up!
432
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,172
(triumphant music playing)
433
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:15,427
(footsteps thudding heavily)
434
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,515
(roars)
435
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,641
That's right!
436
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,309
I don't need this scooter!
437
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,602
All of you,
438
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,230
follow me to the future!
439
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,940
(groans)
440
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,901
Oh, dear God.
441
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:33,153
Stick a forklift in him, he's dead.
442
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,696
(laughs)
443
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,534
(organ playing solemn music)
444
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,840
I've never written a eulogy before,
445
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,800
but this time, I did.
446
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:58,470
Unfortunately, I left it at home.
447
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,180
Thanks, lady.
448
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,767
What Albert taught us
is that all people have pride
449
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,812
and no group should ever
be insulted.
450
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:08,230
He knew what was important
451
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:11,233
was how you lived your life every day.
452
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,861
Till he was taken from us too soon,
453
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,904
at the age of...
454
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,156
(whispering)
455
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,448
Twenty-three?!
456
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,076
People, for God's sake,
join a gym!
457
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,578
(crowd murmuring)
458
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,622
Kumiko, would you still love me
if I lost weight?
459
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,666
-Much more!
-(sighs)
460
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:30,002
Marge,
I'm sorry I was proud of myself.
461
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,670
That's not really what I was...
462
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,422
It will never happen again!
463
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,841
Now come on.
Let's walk home.
464
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,759
Absolutely.
465
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,261
Can I ask you something?
466
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,513
What is it that
keeps you with me?
467
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,349
It's because everything you love,
468
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,685
you love so much.
469
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,187
Because you love me,
470
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,607
I will not stop yo-yo dieting
till I get it right.
471
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:52,858
Oh...
472
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:11,877
At last.
473
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,253
Well done, Dad.
474
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,048
You finally reached emotional maturity.
475
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,549
Unlike Bart.
476
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,301
{\an8}Bart's very mature.
477
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,386
{\an8}Take it from the little boy
in his tummy.
478
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,097
{\an8}Now, when do I get
to be the head again?
479
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:27,142
{\an8}-Soon.
-It's always "soon."
480
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,644
{\an8}(Milhouse sighs)
481
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,360
Whoa!
482
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,986
(horse neighs)
483
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,657
Oh. I wish I had said that earlier.
484
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:29,162
Shh!
485
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:34,960
Subtitled by Nancy Vaccaro