1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,921 -(all exclaiming) -CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,297 D'oh! 3 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,509 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:10,593 (tires screeching) 5 00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,763 ♪ I don't believe it ♪ 6 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,265 ♪ When you tell me ♪ 7 00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,766 ♪ That it's all gone bad ♪ 8 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,268 ♪ It's true ♪ 9 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:19,602 ♪ To... you... ♪ 10 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,147 -BART: Whoa! -(tires screech) 11 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,864 {\an8}-(alarm sounding) -(birds squawking) 12 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,032 (alarm continues) 13 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,284 (soft groaning, snoring) Huh? 14 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,536 Where's the snooze button? 15 00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,747 Ah, that's better. 16 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,165 (explosion) 17 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,791 Hey, what? I gotta get out of here! 18 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,334 -(alarm blaring) -It's... (yawns) 19 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,961 After just five more minutes. 20 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,463 (yawns) 21 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,882 (alarm blaring) 22 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,137 (laughing) Oh... Marge... 23 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,473 On a Tuesday? 24 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,560 {\an8}DR. HIBBERT: Yet again, Homer will be fine. 25 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,231 {\an8}Mm. He's been sleeping an awful lot. 26 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,525 {\an8}Look at these vacation photos. 27 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,360 {\an8}DR. HIBBERT: Oh, my! 28 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,154 {\an8}(chuckling) 29 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,823 {\an8}Man, you people sure take a lot of vacations. 30 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,409 {\an8}MARGE: That's just to remind me where I parked. 31 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,829 {\an8}Hmm. I think I have an idea of what might be going on. 32 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,331 {\an8}(gasps) Huh? What? 33 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,500 {\an8}First, you're gonna need a spinal tap. 34 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,543 {\an8}Please be the band. Please be the band. 35 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,003 {\an8}Oh! 36 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,547 {\an8}Aren't you supposed to give him anesthetic? 37 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,758 {\an8}Oh, I knew I forgot something. 38 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,760 {\an8}(screaming) Ow! 39 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,099 {\an8}(printer whirring) 40 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,727 {\an8}Oof. Very low levels of hypocretin. 41 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,355 {\an8}I'm afraid Homer has... narcolepsy. 42 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,024 {\an8}Doctor, is it time to pull the plug on my father? 43 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,318 {\an8}No, wait. I'll spare you that painful decision. 44 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,028 {\an8}HOMER: No, Bart! That's the TV! 45 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,613 {\an8}Ha-ha! That's the other guy. 46 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,614 {\an8}Stop that! 47 00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,782 {\an8}(laughs) 48 00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,951 {\an8}Narcolepsy's merely sleeping sickness, 49 00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,869 {\an8}and many narcoleptics do lead normal lives 50 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,913 {\an8}by avoiding stressful triggers 51 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:04,415 {\an8}like, uh, oh, let's say... 52 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,417 {\an8}-Helping with the laundry? -Exactly. 53 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,044 {\an8}Having to pay my doctor's bill? 54 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,546 {\an8}(gruff voice) Don't play with me, man. 55 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,048 {\an8}I will mess you up. 56 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,884 {\an8}Here's a signed certification of your condition. 57 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,761 {\an8}This is a bona fide medical excuse 58 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,055 {\an8}from doing anything you find taxing. 59 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,598 {\an8}But you'll only use that 60 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,393 {\an8}when absolutely necessary, right, Homie? 61 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,894 {\an8}Marge, please! 62 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,813 {\an8}I'll probably never use it. 63 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,815 {\an8}Dad, can you drive me to Milhouse's? 64 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:29,899 {\an8}Narcolepsy. 65 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,651 {\an8}There's a spider in my room! 66 00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:32,902 {\an8}Narcolepsy. 67 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,321 {\an8}Dr. Hibbert called in a prescription for you to pick up. 68 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,239 {\an8}Narcolepsy. 69 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,283 {\an8}Yes, for narcolepsy, 70 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,826 {\an8}which you should get now. 71 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,953 {\an8}You can't spend half your life napping. 72 00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,247 {\an8}Maggie does, and you think she's adorable. 73 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,458 {\an8}Yes, because babies are always cute. 74 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,502 (grunting) 75 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,005 (coughing) 76 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,091 (sniffs) Oh, that baby needs a diaper change. 77 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,177 Nar-co-lep-sy. 78 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,469 (groans) 79 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,680 Homie, you have no idea what it's like 80 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,432 being married to you. 81 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,894 Me being married to me, eh? 82 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,563 ("Bridal Chorus" playing) 83 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:09,898 (gasps) 84 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,524 Stop the wedding! 85 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,775 What about our child? 86 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,277 (baby whimpers) 87 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,278 (dog barks) 88 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,654 Don't forget me. 89 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,407 Now I've seen everything. 90 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,203 A window that talks?! 91 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,999 Okay, can you explain again how I take this medication? 92 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,459 One a day with food. 93 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,045 Yeah, but what kind of food, girly? 94 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,464 Stuffed cabbage? A nice bowl soup? 95 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,800 (sighs) Any idea when you'll get to me? 96 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,469 Well, there's four old people ahead of you, 97 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,304 so how's Thursday at 1:00? 98 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,640 Oh, you know it's funny that you should say "one," 99 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,351 'cause that's how many grandchildren that I have. 100 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,852 I'm gonna have grandchildren 101 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,896 by the time I get through this line. 102 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,147 Oh, that's so nice. 103 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,650 -Oh, well, congratulations. -(giggles) 104 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,860 Narcolepsy, take me away! 105 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,403 Oh! (grunts) 106 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,739 -(sighs) -(toy squeaks) 107 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,661 (sniffing) 108 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,162 I smell beer. 109 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,538 Did you go to Moe's? 110 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,832 Every time I have beer on my breath, 111 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,542 you assume I've been drinking. 112 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,753 (groans loudly) 113 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,338 Oh, that's a long one. 114 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,340 Did you at least get the medicine? 115 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,842 I tried. And I failed, miserably. 116 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,512 But I'm willing to work this out in counseling. 117 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,347 (groans) We've been to every counselor 118 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,766 from Avery to Zabinsky. 119 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,268 But not Zilowitz. 120 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,062 HOMER: And that's why there'll never be 121 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:34,023 another golfer as good as Chi-Chi Rodríguez. 122 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,193 The name and the game-- he had it all. 123 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,071 Okay, I think we got a little off-track here. 124 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,864 I know this marriage isn't perfect, 125 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,243 or even great, but now I treasure the moments 126 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,911 where it's just so-so. 127 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,455 -(snoring) -I'd kill for "okay." 128 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,250 Please, please, just tell me what to do. 129 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,751 I've never said this-- 130 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,628 and I don't even know if I'm supposed to say this-- 131 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,881 but this marriage is rotting with the stench of death. 132 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,884 Oh, that seems a little strong. 133 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,554 How about reeking like a trash can in a dog park? 134 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,390 Does my marriage have to be something you can smell? 135 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,600 (snoring) 136 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,644 You see, Marge? You see? 137 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,230 The only way you and Homer will ever be happy 138 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:18,067 is to spend a little time apart, followed by more time apart, 139 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,736 followed by a divorce. 140 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,237 What?! 141 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,780 What is... What, what's going on? 142 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,240 Wait, no, no, no, I remember. 143 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,242 Happy anniversary. 144 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,910 Homer, Homer, listen to me. 145 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,829 There's just so much I can take. 146 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,581 No, we can save this. 147 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,957 We'll go to a therapist. 148 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,417 We're at a therapist. 149 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,252 How you doin'? 150 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,172 What's going on here? 151 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,049 (sobbing) 152 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,592 Nothing. 153 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:43,760 Everything's fine. 154 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,803 -See? -(sobbing continues) 155 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,972 I'll love you forever. 156 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,932 Kids, a professional felt 157 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,642 the best way for your father and me 158 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,979 to work on our relationship was to give up on it. 159 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,440 But after a while, Dad's coming back? 160 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,984 -Oh, yeah, of course. -Maybe not. 161 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,696 Oh, Marge, after all my divorce-worthy statements and actions-- 162 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,323 many of which you don't know about-- 163 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:08,284 how can you kick me out now that I'm sick? 164 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,703 Narcolepsy is a serious thing. 165 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:14,457 Maybe because you didn't take it seriously enough. 166 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,420 I pity you! 167 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:24,050 (Homer sobbing) 168 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,344 Why is Daddy going away? 169 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,679 Is it my fault? 170 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,890 Just kidding. I have been waiting for this. 171 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,309 All my problems are my parents' fault! 172 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,645 Mr. Flanders, can I cry on your shoulder? 173 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,979 Boys, get my tear dickey. 174 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,773 BOTH: Yay! 175 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,611 (Homer snoring) 176 00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,321 -(snoring) -(alarm beeping) 177 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,365 Five more minutes. 178 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,991 (snoring resumes) 179 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,993 Poor guy, living at the plant. 180 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,745 {\an8}And yet he's still late. 181 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,959 ♪ ♪ 182 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,423 (crow cawing) 183 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,851 Smithers, come up through my rear and grab me. 184 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,978 Yes, sir. 185 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,450 (humming) 186 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,118 (blow dryer whirrs, stops) 187 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,079 (humming happily) 188 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,539 I don't get it, Homer. 189 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,416 You and your wife may be calling it quits. 190 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,709 How can you be happy? 191 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:43,045 Oh, you guys missed a very sad montage, 192 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,215 but then I remembered that after every fight we ever had, 193 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,217 Marge takes me back. 194 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,094 I wouldn't be so cocky, Homer. 195 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,762 Marge has changed her relationship status 196 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,431 to "It's complicated." 197 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,057 (whistles) Not good. 198 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,101 Complicated? What's complicated? 199 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,312 We're not together, but we're not legally apart, 200 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,814 and I have to fight for the right to see the children 201 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,232 I spent my life avoiding. 202 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,234 What's complicated about that? 203 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,279 Simpson, where are your shoes? 204 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:10,656 -Narcolepsy. -Oh, sorry, sorry. 205 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,949 Now, to prove everything is fine, 206 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,410 I'm just going to give Marge a call. 207 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,622 MARGE: Hello, you've reached the voicemail for Marge Bouvier. 208 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:18,581 (beeps) 209 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,832 Oh, my God. 210 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,083 She switched to her maiden name. 211 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,502 She must be serious. 212 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,337 She's gonna have to order new checks. 213 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,757 ♪ ...fight, The Itchy & Scratchy Show! ♪ 214 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,513 (Chopin's "Funeral March" playing) 215 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,599 (doorbell rings) 216 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,018 Eh? Mm! 217 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,731 (cackling) 218 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,442 Use a coaster. 219 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,781 Oh, the pigeon sisters! 220 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,574 (pigeons cooing) 221 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,788 Wish my head was filled with guacamole. 222 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,498 Now, on the bright side, Homer, 223 00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,209 guys get in much better shape when they get divorced. 224 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:06,170 Not me. I will not become a cliché. 225 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,672 Well, consider yourself lucky. 226 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,465 Most guys never even get a chance 227 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,342 to lose an amazing woman like Marge. 228 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,178 If Marge is in play, I'm cleaning up. 229 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,514 ♪ Got a date with an angel ♪ 230 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:19,308 ♪ Got to meet her at 7:00. ♪ 231 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,560 (belches) 232 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,186 Hey, guys, knock it off, huh? 233 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,523 I'm sure Homer and Midge just need to talk things out there. 234 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,649 (phone ringing) 235 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,484 And there she is now. 236 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,319 Hello, baby. 237 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,656 Y-- Oh, it's the pharmacy. 238 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:37,159 They want me to pick up my prescription. (sighs) 239 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,828 Well, that man just won 240 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,997 the Saddest Man in the Bar competition. 241 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,791 I was so damn close! 242 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,755 Whoa, nice fill. 243 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,593 You've got amphetamines, anticataplectics and GHB, 244 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,512 also known as Georgia Homeboy or Liquid Ecstasy. 245 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,598 Do not take these with alcohol. 246 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,516 What if I've already been drinking, 247 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,934 and I don't plan to stop? 248 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,269 Are you asking me out? 249 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,687 I mean, you're not, 250 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,439 but it seems like you'd be fun to hang with, 251 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,274 and I'm pretty fascinating myself-- I'm an author. 252 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,067 I thought you worked in a drugstore. 253 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,194 Tennessee Williams worked in a shoe factory. 254 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,363 Boy, you're pretty fast with that fact. 255 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,781 You want to go out or not? 256 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,700 Well, I don't know what you see in me. 257 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,911 I'm just a lonely guy with a bag full of drugs. 258 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,872 Huh! Come with moi. 259 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,582 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 260 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,792 You're moving way too fast for me. 261 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,377 I get that a lot. (sighs) 262 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,879 No, what I'm saying is 263 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:33,049 you're walking faster than I can walk. 264 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,717 How fast can you go? 265 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,512 Pretend you're walking a very slow old dog. 266 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,682 (both growling, barking) 267 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,978 (rock music playing) 268 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,108 No autographs. 269 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,985 I just need you to sign your bill. 270 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,570 The monkey made the reservation. 271 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,656 He pays. 272 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,576 I think it's cool how you owned your own baldness 273 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,994 by shaving your head. 274 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,580 Well, I saw a picture of Jeffrey Katzenberg once, 275 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,457 and said, "Yes, that's for me." 276 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,793 Okay, listen, I'm just floating this, 277 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,419 but have you ever thought 278 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,421 that it might be a good thing Marge dumped you? 279 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,673 What are you saying? 280 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,758 You guys were so young when you met. 281 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,426 She was your first girlfriend. 282 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,428 I've dated more girls than you. 283 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,764 But now you're free to try something new. 284 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,265 Uh... 285 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,767 it's... getting late. 286 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:25,935 I should go. 287 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,853 The donut shop will be... 288 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,773 throwing out their... 289 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,109 unsold donuts, and... 290 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,487 you can buy them... cheap. 291 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,948 Don't you want to finish your drink? 292 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,285 Eh, you're the pharmacist. 293 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,830 Whoa. 294 00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:48,290 ♪ Big city ♪ 295 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,835 ♪ Bright lights ♪ 296 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:54,714 ♪ Cool, cool people ♪ 297 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:58,342 ♪ Big city ♪ 298 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,428 ♪ ♪ 299 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,581 -(Homer laughing) -(heads laughing) 300 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,334 (Patty and Selma chuckle) 301 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,086 (gagging) 302 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,423 (grunting) 303 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,470 Mm! 304 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,016 (laughing groggily) 305 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,100 Hey. 306 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,145 What? Candles? 307 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,188 Clean sheets! 308 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,064 Did I pass out at Urban Outfitters? 309 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,941 Oh, God! Oh, God! 310 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,736 I've just committed the one drunken mistake 311 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,613 I've never made. 312 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,364 Well, Bart. 313 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,369 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 314 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,871 What am I gonna tell Marge? 315 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,206 (gasps) Don't move! 316 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,874 There's a snake on your butt. 317 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,209 That's a tattoo. 318 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,711 Why would you do that to your body? 319 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,213 I thought you had one, too. 320 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,507 Those are stretch marks, young lady. 321 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,300 I've had three children. 322 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,718 I got to call my wife. 323 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,762 I thought you guys were separated. 324 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,972 I'm the kind of man who never gives up hope. 325 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,432 I own property in Detroit, 326 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,227 every Christmas I ask for size 36 pants, 327 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,854 and I still buy Beanie Babies. 328 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,565 (phone beeps, line rings) 329 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,817 Hello, Homer. 330 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,944 Marge is getting ready for a date. 331 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,779 Marge? On a date? 332 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,656 Yep, but I'll make you a deal. 333 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:48,077 I will try to save your marriage if you can guess which one I am. 334 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,495 -Patty? -Wrong! 335 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:50,746 (dial tone) 336 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,289 (sobbing) 337 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,624 (dog howls) 338 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,627 I'm gonna get one, two, three, four, five scones. 339 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:57,920 You guys want anything? 340 00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,004 -We're fine. -No, thanks. 341 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,005 We're all right. 342 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,091 Candace, what is his deal? 343 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,301 -(gasps) Is he paying your rent? -No. 344 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,595 -Is he giving a kidney to your mother? -No. 345 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,973 Is he good at sitting on suitcases that are too full? 346 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,641 Yes, but no. 347 00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,184 Is he your guest at a dinner for schmucks? 348 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,102 No. 349 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,646 (gasps) Are you a Humpty Dumpty catcher? 350 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:17,022 Be honest. 351 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,524 All no. 352 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,943 Does her remind you of a childhood snowman? 353 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,153 Yes, that's it! 354 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,781 And the great thing is he will never melt. 355 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,034 Man, I would love to get back into snowman shape. 356 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,579 I can't even fit in my scarf anymore. 357 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,456 Whoa, this is serious. 358 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,292 Complimentary tattoos. 359 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,211 Yeah, I've always been looking for the very special lady 360 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,880 who would match up with this. 361 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,465 (whinnying) 362 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,508 All right, very funny. 363 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,801 You two celebrating or what? 364 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,553 Two Scorpinos, Moe. 365 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,054 Scorpinos, you got it. 366 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,890 And those are served in a...? 367 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,308 Champagne flute. 368 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,726 Champagne flute, got it. 369 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,644 And that is a...? 370 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,564 Glass! A clean glass. 371 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,983 Ah, coming right up there, Your Highness. 372 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,776 (quietly) Nut case. 373 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,612 (car engine revs, tires squeal) 374 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,659 Wow, Homer, you really stuck the landing 375 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,202 after your separation. 376 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,580 Yeah, it's great. 377 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,665 Except her friends are always over. 378 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,920 I've been there for three weeks, and I can't find the TV. 379 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,504 And no one has any problems, 380 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,423 except they talk about them endlessly. 381 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,050 Kind of like you're doing now? 382 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,218 And the weirdest thing of all is 383 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,346 now she wants me to meet her dad. 384 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,181 Wow, who pays for that dinner? 385 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,016 I plan to pretend there's a bug in my food 386 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,392 and get the meal for free. 387 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,602 Smooth. 388 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,229 H-Hello, sir. 389 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,357 Thank you for inviting me to dinner, sir. 390 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,858 Homer, relax. 391 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,443 I have no problem with the age difference 392 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:46,070 between you and my daughter. 393 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,864 In fact, I've been dating a much younger woman myself. 394 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,699 Oh, here she comes now. 395 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,910 (humming happily) 396 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,536 -(gasp) -(gasp) 397 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,207 Okay, okay, we can be adults about this. 398 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,292 Waiter, champagne? 399 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,964 (sputtering) 400 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,221 So I can't date an older man, 401 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,889 but your girlfriend can? 402 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,933 She's not my girlfriend. 403 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,310 Candace and I don't use labels. 404 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,397 Mm, doesn't look like she uses that much shampoo either. 405 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,773 Lay off my girlfriend! 406 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,067 Roger is great with the kids. 407 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,777 He even taught Bart how to bunt. 408 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,737 Oh, so now you're super dad? 409 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,614 When I was a kid, you were never around. 410 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,074 You missed my high school play. 411 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,076 You told me not to come. 412 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,995 You're supposed to fight me on that! 413 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:39,748 Well, Marge, your Roger's not so perfect now. 414 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,335 He's got a screwed-up daughter with a pathetic boyfriend. 415 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,254 Candace, dear, I apologize. 416 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,923 I'm trying so hard to set my life right. 417 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,800 Oh, speaking of which. 418 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,136 Marge, I am going to do something I should've done 419 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,846 three weeks ago when I met you. 420 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,305 Will you marry me, Marge? 421 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,432 Yes. 422 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,517 As soon as my divorce is final. 423 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,936 Then you can put a ring on my finger, Homer. 424 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,438 I'm already pregnant. 425 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:03,689 You're pregnant?! 426 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,482 But I kept my shirt on! 427 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,401 (echoing) No! 428 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,695 (snoring) 429 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,613 Huh? What am I doing here? 430 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,116 Sleeping through our therapy session. 431 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,286 Dreaming only about you. 432 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,704 So none of it happened? 433 00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:19,955 We're still together? 434 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,957 -Somehow. -Whoo-hoo! 435 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,127 And you thought our only option was to break up. 436 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,670 I never said that. 437 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,630 If I told people that didn't belong together 438 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,550 they shouldn't be together, I'd be out of a job. 439 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,635 Huh, I must have dreamed that, too. 440 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,638 Okay, why don't you tell us more about this dream? 441 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,474 All you need to know about my dream 442 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,894 is that Marge and I have been completely turned around by it, 443 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,729 and like Scrooge, I will demonstrate 444 00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:47,232 I have learned my lesson by making a boy run to the store 445 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,068 and buy me a goose. 446 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,862 I think you're going to have to do a little more, Homer. 447 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,740 Oh, I'll do a lot more than a little more! 448 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,533 I'll do some! 449 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,494 If you could just be good for a month, 450 00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,496 that would really show me something. 451 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,081 Absolutely. 452 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,999 Can the month be February? 453 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,167 Okay, March. 454 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,418 (groans) 455 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,588 You did it, Homie! 456 00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:11,673 And what a March it was. 457 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,344 A beautiful Easter, a sober St. Patrick's Day, 458 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,096 and impeccable behavior 459 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,182 watching the NCAA basketball tournament. 460 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,934 {\an8}Mm-hmm! 461 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,393 And with your love, Dad, 462 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,854 I'm eating meat and Maggie's talking. 463 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,859 ♪ I've seen trees of green ♪ 464 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,362 ♪ Red roses, too... ♪ 465 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,280 What the...? 466 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,282 (man sings rock version) ♪ I see them bloom ♪ 467 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,368 ♪ For me and you ♪ 468 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,120 ♪ And I think to my... ♪ 469 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,205 (grunts) Huh? Huh? Huh? 470 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,582 I got you one of those beers you enjoy unironically. 471 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,710 This won a blue ribbon in 1890? 472 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,129 What does that mean? 473 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,256 Wait, so this is reality? 474 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:54,049 That other dream was just a dream? 475 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:58,387 No...! 476 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,222 But you forgot to pay! 477 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,474 (distant) Oh! 478 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,559 (whimpering) 479 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,645 (gasps) 480 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,233 (sobbing) 481 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,318 I've lost everything. 482 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,779 My wife, my family... 483 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:16,822 (sobbing) 484 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,615 You didn't lose me, Dad. 485 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,409 (chuckles) Lisa? 486 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:21,952 You can never lose me. 487 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,453 We share the same blood, 488 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,081 the same mixed feelings towards Bart, 489 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,918 and you know I'll need support in my teenage war with Mom. 490 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,754 (sobbing) Oh, Lisa. 491 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,089 (both laughing) 492 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,632 Oh, Dad. 493 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,092 Dad! 494 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,510 -Aw, sweetie... -Nothing could ever come between us. 495 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,679 ...we'll be together forever. 496 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,264 ROGER: Lisa, where are you, dear? 497 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,349 I thought we'd get in a game of chess 498 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,851 before we go pony shopping. 499 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,603 Gotta go. 500 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:48,812 Lisa! 501 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,314 I'll Skype you at Christmas! 502 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:53,859 (echoing) No...! 503 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,447 (Homer snoring) 504 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,616 Huh, so it was all my dream. 505 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,452 I better find out what this all means. 506 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,621 It means, like all married women, 507 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,706 sometimes you're sick of your husband, 508 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,292 but sometimes you're afraid of losing him. 509 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:13,795 And like all married men, I didn't hear that first thing, 510 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,548 and I'm overconfident of the second. 511 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,091 So what do we do? 512 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,303 I need some kind of guidance to take away from all of this. 513 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,972 Put your finger on it so I can tie it in a bow. 514 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,307 Please? 515 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,017 Well, one thing we therapists can give 516 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,311 is concise, simple solutions, 517 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,729 and yours is... 518 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,732 Hannah, what does that one mean? 519 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:36,735 It means don't get drunk in Brooklyn. 520 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:42,324 {\an8}♪ I see babies cry ♪ 521 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:45,035 {\an8}♪ I watch them grow ♪ 522 00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:47,829 {\an8}♪ They'll learn much more ♪ 523 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,998 {\an8}♪ Than I'll ever know ♪ 524 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,919 {\an8}♪ And I think to myself ♪ 525 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:58,590 {\an8}♪ What a wonderful world ♪ 526 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:05,222 {\an8}♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪ 527 00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,850 {\an8}♪ What a wonderful world ♪ 528 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,395 {\an8}♪ A wonderful, wonderful ♪ 529 00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:14,439 {\an8}♪ A wonderful, wonderful world ♪ 530 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,943 {\an8}♪ A wonderful, wonderful ♪ 531 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:20,279 {\an8}♪ Wonderful world! ♪ 532 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,032 Shh! 533 00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,955 Subtitled by B. Everdene