﻿1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,254
<i>CHOIR:</i>
<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:05,588
(cackles)

3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,467
D'oh!

4
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,468
(tires screeching)

5
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,178
(grunts)

6
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,686
(all groan)

7
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,029
<i>ANNOUNCER:</i>
<i>Nocturnal cravings.</i>

8
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,031
{\an8}<i>A positive ultrasound.</i>

9
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:34,826
<i>How could this woman's doctor</i>
<i>not know she was pregnant?</i>

10
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,213
(gasps)
A baby.

11
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,174
An astronaut baby.

12
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,842
(baby laughs)

13
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:54,596
{\an8}Hey-- Oh, have you ever turned <i>on</i> a TV?

14
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,514
{\an8}It's my mother's birthday.

15
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,683
{\an8}And you only turn 80 once.

16
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,144
{\an8}Or, in the case of most people,
no times.

17
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:03,146
{\an8}Now, put your good clothes on.

18
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:06,649
{\an8}I'm already in a dress and pearls,
and I'm eight years old.

19
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,943
{\an8}Can't we go to her 81st birthday?

20
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,195
{\an8}That's the big one.

21
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:14,491
{\an8}Why does visiting my family
always have to be so hard?

22
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:17,243
{\an8}Because, face it, Marge,
your family doesn't like me.

23
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,246
{\an8}Never did,
not even when I had hair and a future

24
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,082
{\an8}and a bitchin' Pontiac GTO.

25
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,500
{\an8}Where is that car, Homer?

26
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,335
{\an8}I went to a music festival,

27
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,170
{\an8}and I couldn't remember
where I parked it.

28
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:31,966
{\an8}<i>(playing weakly)</i>
<i>♪ I'm a space cowboy... ♪</i>

29
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:38,014
{\an8}Homie, I feel about my family
like you felt about that car.

30
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,433
{\an8}No one loves a person that much.

31
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,727
{\an8}Please go, for me?

32
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,938
{\an8}All right,
but remember the signal.

33
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,690
{\an8}If I tug my ear,
it's time for us to leave.

34
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,109
{\an8}I'm switching to my left ear

35
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,277
{\an8}because of what happened last time.

36
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,681
{\an8}Uh-uh, no you don't.

37
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,391
{\an8}Your grandmother knit this for you,

38
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,476
{\an8}so act like you wear it
all the time.

39
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,482
{\an8}(groans)

40
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,742
{\an8}She has a juice box.

41
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,995
{\an8}Why can't I have a juice box?

42
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,414
{\an8}Because when she sticks in the straw,

43
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,000
{\an8}she doesn't slip and hit an artery.

44
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,419
{\an8}Oh, I'll never have juice.

45
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:53,423
{\an8}<i>ALL:</i>
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

46
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,426
{\an8}<i>♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪</i>

47
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,428
{\an8}<i>-♪ Mom ♪</i>
<i>-♪ Grandma ♪</i>

48
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,804
{\an8}<i>♪ All of the above ♪</i>

49
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,974
{\an8}<i>ALL:</i>
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

50
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,767
{\an8}Thank you.

51
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,478
{\an8}Jacqueline,
I took the money I usually give

52
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:11,774
{\an8}to con artists and preachers
and bought you these flowers.

53
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:16,779
{\an8}Oh, nothing tops
a simple romantic gesture.

54
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:21,409
{\an8}Except a rich man flaunting his wealth.

55
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:27,916
The one thing I can't beat--
competition.

56
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,835
(knee pops loudly)

57
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,296
Oh, Jacqueline,
I fell in love with you

58
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,298
the moment I came down with dementia.

59
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:39,093
So to win your heart,
I got you an old-fashioned music player.

60
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,262
-Meh.
-(groaning)

61
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,764
Mr. Yo-Yo Ma.

62
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,349
(gasps)

63
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,852
No one said there'd be music.

64
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,729
There's always room for cello.

65
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:53,066
(plays Cello Suite No. 1 by Bach)

66
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,362
I know when I'm licked, Burns.

67
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,197
She's yours.

68
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,573
Mm, not interested.

69
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,200
I just don't want you to have her.

70
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,994
Wow, that's the meanest thing
I ever heard,

71
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,622
and I used to practice cello
on the subway.

72
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,168
-D'oh!
-I'm next!

73
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,544
Whee!

74
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,421
(Bart and Lisa laugh)

75
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,215
Hey, you two, quit having fun.

76
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:19,676
Trust me,
nothing I've done today has been fun.

77
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,512
Hey, hey,
the plastic's here for a reason--

78
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,888
to keep the couch clean.

79
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,808
Watch and learn, boy.

80
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,352
Voilà,
now I take a simple napkin and...

81
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:31,896
(screams)

82
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,606
(all groan)

83
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,567
Who's ready to see some slides
of us as teenagers?

84
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,152
(groaning)

85
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,445
Here are the slides.

86
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,948
Oh, just one box.

87
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,366
Five terabytes.

88
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:47,370
That's over 50,000 carousels
of family fun.

89
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,789
(groans loudly)

90
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,876
Here's us walking up the steps

91
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,879
of Teotihuacán's pyramid of the sun.

92
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,383
Walking, walking, stopping, walking.

93
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,968
{\an8}-Walking, walking, walking.
-(groans) Ooh.

94
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:03,136
-Hmm.
-Stopping, stopping.

95
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,388
-Oh.
-Walking, walking,

96
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,724
walking, walking, blister-popping.

97
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:08,725
-Huh?
-Walking, walking.

98
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:09,726
(groans)

99
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,978
Stopping, walking, walking...

100
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,314
Oh, I sure miss Dad.

101
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,941
We're here to watch old photos,
not reminisce.

102
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,401
Walking, walking...

103
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,487
How did Grampa Bouvier die?
No one's ever told us.

104
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,407
You know what,
I actually don't know.

105
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,075
-Me neither.
-Not a clue.

106
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,704
Girls, I'm afraid
I didn't tell any of you for a reason.

107
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,664
(gasping)

108
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,375
(plays dramatic tune)

109
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,127
The real story,

110
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:39,130
and it was something people
were ashamed to say at the time,

111
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,549
is that he died of lung cancer.

112
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:45,928
Mom, how could you know that
and still let us smoke?

113
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,473
I thought it made you look cool.

114
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,603
Hey, Lis, do you think
I can climb walls like Spider-Man

115
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,605
with denture cream on my hands?

116
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,440
-(screams)
-Nope.

117
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,817
Next time,
you should wait for my answer.

118
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:03,654
Knock it off! Your grandmother's
bathroom is not a toy chest.

119
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,073
Ooh, Vicodin.

120
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,909
I think it's time, Selma dear.

121
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,203
Time we quit smoking.

122
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:22,590
Well, anyway, happy birthday.

123
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,433
(meows)

124
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,353
Man, I can't believe
your sisters stopped smoking.

125
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:37,605
I just hope they don't put on weight.

126
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:38,856
Hmm.

127
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,358
<i>You're so fat!</i>

128
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:43,194
<i>(laughs)</i>

129
00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:44,821
<i>You're even fatter.</i>

130
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,282
<i>Damn straight!</i>
<i>No one out-fats me.</i>

131
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,707
Time for beddy-bye.

132
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,543
Now, don't sleep on your stomach.

133
00:06:58,626 --> 00:06:59,877
Or is it your back?

134
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,337
Can never remember.

135
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,299
Whichever is the comfortable one,
don't do that.

136
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,804
(tapping)

137
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,599
♪ ♪

138
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:42,837
(chatters)

139
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,338
(hoots)

140
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,798
(hisses)

141
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,592
(imitating Duffman)
Say hello to fun!

142
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,093
Oh, yeah!

143
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,219
Oh, no!

144
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,429
Hoppy!

145
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,027
In this house, Maggie is safe.

146
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,904
(Maggie babbles playfully)

147
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,374
(groans)

148
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:27,423
Excuse me, I'd like a license
to operate heavy machinery.

149
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,425
We don't do that here.

150
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,428
Please?
To me, everything is heavy.

151
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,263
-(grunting) No.
-(groans)

152
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,765
Patty, what are you doing?

153
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,100
Selma quit smoking,
and she's never been nicer.

154
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,936
Here's your new license.

155
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,314
Under "eyes," I put "red and dilated."

156
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,358
Ooh, thank you, sir.

157
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:48,152
Selma,
not smoking hasn't affected you at all.

158
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,987
How is that possible?

159
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,989
I even smell cigarette smoke
when it's not around.

160
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:52,990
(sniffs)

161
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,534
Like right now.

162
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,285
Maybe you're having a stroke.

163
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,621
Phantom smells <i>are</i> a symptom.

164
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:03,459
Eh, what's the penalty
for driving a tractor drunk

165
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,294
through a Renaissance Faire?

166
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,713
Can't help you--
I might be having a stroke.

167
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,217
I have to consult a competent
medical professional.

168
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,596
{\an8}Got that.

169
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,557
Got that.
(groans)

170
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,183
Who doesn't have that?

171
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,643
(groans)

172
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,020
Anyone here to get an ambulance license?

173
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,105
That would be me.

174
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,523
Here you go.

175
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,857
I lied.

176
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,652
(growls)

177
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,697
Patty, all your tests are positive.

178
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,157
I mean, negative.
Always get those two confused.

179
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,159
You're fine.
(chuckles)

180
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,953
But I still smell smoke.

181
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,705
(sniffs)
That's odd.

182
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:41,831
So do I.

183
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,124
Do you smell anything, Selma?

184
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,875
Hmm, uh-uh, nope.

185
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:45,876
Wait a minute.

186
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,295
Are you smoking?

187
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,343
That's right, I am.

188
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,179
I quit for only ten minutes
before I relapsed.

189
00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:01,559
And it was the best cigarette of my life.

190
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:04,895
(scoffs)
I have never been angrier at you.

191
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,981
Me, too-- this is a hospital.

192
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:08,357
If you want to smoke,

193
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,443
go do it in the stairwell
with the doctors.

194
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,989
I'll miss you so much.

195
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,450
-Leave me Jub-Jub.
-Fine.

196
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,456
At least you still smoke.

197
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,252
I hate it when you and Selma fight.

198
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,546
Me, too.
I also hate it when they agree.

199
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,089
Homer, please be nice.

200
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,382
Patty's our guest.

201
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,843
For how long?
Where's she gonna sleep?

202
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:36,886
On our couch.

203
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,138
That's where we do our couch gags!

204
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,306
See?

205
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,725
Oh, fine.
She'll stay with the baby.

206
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,561
Well, Magster, it looks like

207
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,314
you and I are going to be cellmates.

208
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:49,565
(chuckles)

209
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,151
(chittering)

210
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,404
(screams)

211
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,947
Nature! Shoo! Shoo!

212
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,449
I've got a hot curling iron!

213
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,493
Hold this.
(grunts)

214
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,790
Oh, Marge, the kids are all asleep

215
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,625
and the dog's been walked.

216
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,252
There's only one thing left to do.

217
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,754
(sexy purr)

218
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,006
Did you turn the security alarm on?

219
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,092
It's still broken.

220
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:19,428
Ooh, well, then come here, you.

221
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,971
(Patty snoring)

222
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,723
(shouts)
What the hell was that?!

223
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,308
It's just my sister snoring.

224
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,644
She has a very fatty septum.

225
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,438
But it doesn't have to ruin our fun.

226
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,107
(snoring continues)

227
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,901
(both moaning)

228
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,321
(gasps, coughs)

229
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,116
(owl hooting)

230
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,585
-(snoring)
-(music playing intermittently)

231
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,814
Okay, which one of you kids
knows how to drive?

232
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,608
And which is sober?

233
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,528
Whew, thank God for Designated Dorothy.

234
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,113
(engine starts, truck backfires)

235
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:31,667
All right, everybody go to bed.

236
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,878
Those of you who got
to get up early,

237
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,088
sleep on top of the pile.

238
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,382
Hey, Brandine!

239
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,551
I caught us a possum!

240
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:43,929
You want to name it
before we eat it or after?

241
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:44,930
During!

242
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,558
Beauregard, you've been promoted

243
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:50,811
from guarding my family
to guarding this possum.

244
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,064
{\an8}That's a good dog.

245
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,073
Hmm.

246
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,700
Hey, baby.

247
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,245
How about that rain check
for last night?

248
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,413
-PATTY: Aah!
-Aah!

249
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,915
Aah, don't look at me!

250
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,375
-But you're everywhere! (gasping)
-Freak!

251
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,835
-(Homer shouts)
-Don't you ever knock?

252
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,754
-(groans)
-Get out of here! Go away!

253
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:19,173
(sighs) Thank God I'm blind.

254
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,716
Yo, I'm next.

255
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,884
No!

256
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,719
Whoa! What the hell?

257
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,429
I did that with love, boy.

258
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:26,889
What's all the hubbub?

259
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,766
-Oh, thank you, Dad.
-It's okay, son.

260
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,768
-Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-It's okay, it's okay.

261
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:33,062
No, really,
thank you, thank you, thank you!

262
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,939
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

263
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,232
All right, already!

264
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,108
Just take your shower.

265
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,946
I need someone to talk to.

266
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:45,366
Thank God I've got a past
full of lonely men to draw from.

267
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,035
Mm-hmm.

268
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,162
Disco Stu is over you.

269
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:56,210
Oh, Disco Stu needs a Zoloft or two.

270
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,753
(grunts)

271
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,338
Who am I kidding?

272
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,257
The one I should be talking to

273
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,634
is the one who's always
been there for me...

274
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,386
my cigarette.

275
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,804
Forget about your sister.

276
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,430
You've got me.

277
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,307
For the rest of your life,
I'll be the first thing

278
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,142
you think about every morning.

279
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:17,314
And the last thing you do every night.

280
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,568
Hmm,
looks like I have a choice to make.

281
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,361
-(grunting)
-CIGARETTE: Oh!

282
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,114
I'm in your hair! (laughs)

283
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,995
Uh...
(clears throat)

284
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:33,873
Listen, about this morning,

285
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,667
I'm sorry I walked in on you!

286
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,669
(grumbling)

287
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,880
Oh! Oh, yeah.

288
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,464
I'm about to say something

289
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,509
I never thought I'd say to you--
something nice.

290
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,094
-Hmm?
-(sighs)

291
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:49,638
I only mock you because I'm jealous

292
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,640
of what Marge has in you.

293
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,642
I only have Selma.

294
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,645
And now I don't even have that.

295
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,355
(sighs)

296
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,691
Oh, Patty, I've waited so long

297
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,985
for you to open a window of niceness.

298
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,153
(grunts)
That was it!

299
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,195
Window shut!

300
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,906
(doorbell rings)

301
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,825
Ah, what the heck!

302
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,995
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!

303
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,497
Aah... (sighs)

304
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,833
What are you doing here?

305
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,335
Apologizing.

306
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:23,339
And I want you to know
I quit smoking for good.

307
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,257
You quit for me?

308
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,717
I quit for us.

309
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,011
Hmm, that's actually more selfish,

310
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,180
but it sounds really nice.

311
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,765
(both grunting)

312
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,391
Okay, Maggie, throw the ball to me.

313
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:35,601
Throw the ball.

314
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,688
Okay, how about I throw the ball?

315
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,523
It's okay.

316
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,777
You'll learn to do things
after you're a baby.

317
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,588
(animals clamoring)

318
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,675
("When Johnny Comes
Marching Home" playing)

319
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,939
{\an8}(chittering)

320
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,109
{\an8}(squealing)

321
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,111
(Spider-Pig theme song playing)

322
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:33,492
{\an8}<i>♪ Spider-Pig ♪</i>

323
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:37,871
<i>♪ Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig ♪</i>

324
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,625
Let's see, we got "possum pot pie,

325
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,795
General Chang's possum with cashews,

326
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:48,090
possum foam with pouch reduction."

327
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,925
(hissing)

328
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,469
Hey, save your hissing
for the frying pan!

329
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,014
("When Johnny
Comes Marching Home" playing)

330
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,329
(barks)

331
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,833
(yelps, growls)

332
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,880
(birds cawing)

333
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,049
(growling)

334
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,595
(quacks)

335
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:35,554
(screeches)

336
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:45,647
(all chattering)

337
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,243
(birds chirping)

338
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,706
(dogs barking)

339
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,094
{\an8}(howls, growls)

340
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,766
(babbling)

341
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,857
(laughing)

342
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,046
What the...?

343
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,924
It's a bunch of animals
acting like humans!

344
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,764
Oh, well, there goes our dinner.

345
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:04,810
And I had such a delightful
moonshine pairing for it, too.

346
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:08,522
Got 91 points
from Robert Trailerparker.

347
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,440
Dang.

348
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:13,443
Okay, well, uh, possum's gone.

349
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,571
But you got fingernails to chew on.

350
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,281
Who knows what's under them?

351
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:19,783
Ooh, I got pizza!

352
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,577
I got poop.

353
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,204
It's nice to have you back, Patty.

354
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,623
I had to do some things
I regretted 'cause you were gone.

355
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,501
You said it was for real this time.

356
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,753
I said what you wanted to hear!

357
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,631
Disco Stu is back on Tinder.

358
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:35,674
(door closes)

359
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,385
It's nice to be back.

360
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:39,803
Since I've stopped smoking,

361
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,972
my sense of smell
has really come back.

362
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:43,432
Uh-huh.

363
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,934
Who knew a small apartment
with two women,

364
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,313
a baby, and an iguana
would smell so bad?

365
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,523
(both sniffing)

366
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,525
-Cigarette?
-Yes!

367
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,946
(sighs)

368
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,115
Here's to smoking and you.

369
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,202
Two things
that'll always be in my heart.

370
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,788
Is this a happy ending?

371
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,332
It's edgy.

372
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:12,586
<i>♪ Together forever and never to part ♪</i>

373
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:16,798
<i>♪ Together forever, we two ♪</i>

374
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:27,100
{\an8}(squealing)

375
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,605
{\an8}(squealing)

376
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:35,984
(squawks)

377
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,736
Hoppy, you're back!

378
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,238
(imitating Cletus)
Hey, Brandine!

379
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,823
Put out the fancy possum china!

380
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:46,662
I've heard of wanting a cracker,
but becoming one-- oh, no!

381
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,254
{\an8}("The Simpsons Theme"
by Yo-Yo Ma playing)

382
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!

383
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965
Subtitled by Jimmy Boots

