1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,256
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,344
Okay, Homie,
3
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,679
I'm plugging it in.
4
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{\an8}Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
5
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{\an8}The gravestones
could be a little more crooked.
6
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{\an8}Oh!
7
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{\an8}Let me just fluff up
these entrails.
8
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{\an8}And...
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{\an8}light it up.
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(wolf howls)
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MONSTER: Bleh, bleh, bleh,
bleh, bleh, bleh.
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{\an8}Halloween at the Simpsons'.
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{\an8}What a classic tradition!
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{\an8}Are you heading up
to the tree house
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{\an8}to tell three horrifying tales?
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{\an8}Ah, we're doing it next week.
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{\an8}It's gonna be Psycho
with Skinner and his mom,
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00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,498
{\an8}Muppet Wizard of Oz--
I'm Scarecrow-Fozzie--
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00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,668
{\an8}and then, uh,
one where furniture gets smart
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{\an8}and takes over the world
or something.
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{\an8}Mmm! Sounds chilling!
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{\an8}Eh. People love it.
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{\an8}Everscream Terrors
looks amazing this year.
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00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:54,471
{\an8}I've never seen black cats
with such arched backs.
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{\an8}Well, you gotta bring it.
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{\an8}Halloweening your house
is a dying art.
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{\an8}More and more people
are turning off their porch lights
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{\an8}and pretending they're not home.
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{\an8}Halloween skippers.
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{\an8}Skippers!
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{\an8}How can you reject a holiday
32
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,821
{\an8}where you can serve candy
from a salad bowl?
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{\an8}Bad news, Dad.
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{\an8}You stored the plastic skeletons
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{\an8}too close to the furnace.
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{\an8}Eh, I'll take it to the old folks' home
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{\an8}and tell Grampa it's his new roommate.
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{\an8}Everyone in the car!
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{\an8}We're making a skeleton run
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{\an8}to the Halloween pop-up store.
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{\an8}Ooh, while we're there,
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{\an8}we can get a costume
for the dog.
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{\an8}Nothing says you love a pet
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{\an8}like letting him be part
of the human fun.
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{\an8}Who wants to be a Yoda?
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{\an8}You want to be a Yoda!
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Ooh.
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Ooh!
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Oh, man,
I can't wait for tonight!
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I'm finally old enough
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for Krustyland
Halloween Horror Night.
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Oh, yeah, they do it up right.
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Wait till you try
the black cotton candy.
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It tastes just like cotton candy.
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{\an8}Tomorrow, when my friends
ask me about it,
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{\an8}I'm gonna say,
"Eh, it wasn't that big a deal."
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{\an8}But it's gonna be a really,
really big deal!
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Welcome, seasonal customer,
to my pop-up emporium.
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{\an8}Behold my terrifying
joke name.
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{\an8}A-boo!
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{\an8}Hmm, you know,
I actually like that better.
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{\an8}Hey, hey!
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Why are you not working?!
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'Cause I'm still coming down
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from huffing
all that glow stick juice, man.
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Oh, I'm strung out on silly string.
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(sneezes)
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(groans)
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Go, go! Back to work!
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Go de-tangle
the novelty cobwebs,
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you lazy trick-or-treat trash.
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(muttering indistinctly)
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Aren't you being
a little hard on them?
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Mrs. Simpson,
these are pop-up people.
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Temporary workers
who drift from town to town,
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holiday to holiday,
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living off candy hearts
and sleeping on Easter grass.
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00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,588
If I do not show them
a firm hand,
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they would rob me like
Striped Hamburger Thief
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robs Restaurant Meat Clown.
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♪ ♪
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Ooh! Mariachi skeletons.
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They're spooky, but they also
teach you about Mexico.
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Psst! Hey, big man,
how about this deal:
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you buy one from me--
in cash--
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and I'll load three more
into your car for free.
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That is a great deal.
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Just don't tell
Old Man Squishee about it.
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Hmm.
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(grunting and chuckling)
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You got some great guys
working here.
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They just gave me
a really good deal.
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Really?
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Tell me of this deal.
95
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Okay, but don't tell
Old Man Squishee about it.
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(loud whisper)
We hate him.
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Get out. Out, all of you!
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Pop-up scum! Out!
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No one rips off
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon!
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Now take your suspiciously full
duffle bags and go!
101
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You're gonna be real sorry
for getting us fired.
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Well, I'm sorry now.
103
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Yeah, you're gonna be.
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I said, I'm sorry now.
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We said, you're gonna be!
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I know when I'm sorry,
and I'm sorry now!
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You guys don't know me at all.
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(Krusty laughing spookily over speakers)
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{\an8}KRUSTY:
Hand stamp required for re-entry!
110
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{\an8}(laughing spookily)
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That's not scary.
112
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I thought this was
gonna be scary.
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(giggles)
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(grunts)
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(growls)
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Scary!
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That's really, uh, anatomical.
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Lot of anatomy there.
119
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Oh, yeah,
the gore is super realistic.
120
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It's gotta be-- today's consumer
is just too sophisticated.
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(growling)
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(screaming)
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(screams loudly)
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I want to go home!
I want to go home!
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What? No!
126
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We just got here!
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Lisa, honey,
I think you should stay.
128
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,211
And not because the tickets
were super expensive,
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even though they were
super expensive.
130
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:02,051
But remember,
you were really looking forward
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to the fun of being scared by
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-stuff you know isn't real.
-(gasps)
133
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Unlike the money I spent on this,
which is very real.
134
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Okay.
135
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Okay, I'll give it another try.
136
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Good, now take my hand
137
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and I'll walk you through
this roiling zombie horde.
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(zombies moaning)
139
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This isn't real.
140
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This isn't real.
This isn't real.
141
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This isn't real.
142
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(gasps)
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(Lisa screams in distance)
144
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Sir? Sir?
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-I'm not...
-Hold on, Lisa,
146
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Daddy's picking out
a pretzel topping.
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00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,171
Sir?
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00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,130
Oh...
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00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,798
Oh, no, I'm lost!
150
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Okay, find a grown-up.
151
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,885
Find a grown-up.
152
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Excuse me, I'm lost.
153
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,139
Could you please
help me...
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(screams)
155
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,268
I can't find my family,
156
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,728
and I'm really scared and I...
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(screams)
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(zombies moaning)
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(gasps)
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(mumbling deliriously)
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Sir, looks like we've got
a scaredy-pants situation here.
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Zoom in and scan for fear.
163
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Terror level seven and rising.
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Shut it down.
Shut it all down.
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Shut the whole damn thing down!
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SUPERVISOR (over P.A.):
Attention!
167
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,225
Bring all laughter and exhilaration
168
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to a complete stop.
169
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The terrifying good time
is on hold.
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{\an8}We have located and are removing
171
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{\an8}the baby that thinks
this is real.
172
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,320
Reset time is 65 minutes.
173
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,822
(groaning, grumbling)
174
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,573
All parking validations
are now void.
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00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,367
(grumbling)
176
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,827
Sir...
177
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,996
(whimpering)
178
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,332
(crying)
179
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,005
Mm-hmm.
180
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,424
Lisa, aren't you going to wear
181
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,175
your costume to school?
182
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:09,011
No, I'm not doing
Halloween this year.
183
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,848
Oh, sweetie, I know you
had a scare last night,
184
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,268
but you worked so hard
on your Frida Kahlo outfit.
185
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,353
Maybe just wear
the eyebrow and mustache?
186
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,563
No.
187
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,606
No!
188
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SKINNER: You kids look great.
189
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,444
Delightful.
190
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,028
No place like home.
(chuckles)
191
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,613
Hold on, Simpson.
192
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,199
Let's take a look at that
buccaneer costume.
193
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,784
No weapons, of course.
194
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,245
Bandana, possible gang wear.
195
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,372
Eye patch, offensive
to the half-blind.
196
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,874
Oh, and just to reassure
197
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,208
those who are afraid of pirates...
198
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,794
{\an8}(groans)
199
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,630
(gasps, shudders)
200
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,511
(gasps)
201
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,933
(gasps)
202
00:07:58,102 --> 00:07:58,978
(screams)
203
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,229
No! Leave me alone!
204
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,690
Leave me alone!
205
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,692
(panting)
206
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,698
Lisa.
207
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,288
(gasping)
208
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,790
(shuddering)
209
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:23,836
Homer, I think we should
take down Everscream Terrors.
210
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,464
Wha-- W-We... we can't!
211
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,925
I'm the Mozart
of Halloween decorations,
212
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,468
and tonight is the Super Bowl.
213
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,470
Lisa's in a bad place.
214
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,472
You know how sensitive she is.
215
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,474
We don't want her
to go back to...
216
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,059
Tailee.
217
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:40,478
No, she wouldn't.
She couldn't.
218
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:41,812
Not Tailee.
219
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,898
Where is she?
220
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:47,360
(both gasp)
221
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,445
HOMER:
Oh. Oh.
222
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,613
Ah, let's see.
223
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,156
(gasps)
224
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,491
Oh, God.
225
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:54,951
We're too late.
226
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,662
The glue stick didn't hold.
227
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,791
So, Tailee's back.
228
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,334
Hmm.
229
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,628
Tailee just makes me
feel so safe.
230
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,672
I don't know why
I ever gave it up.
231
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:10,466
Breaks my heart that Lisa
can't deal with her emotions
232
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,884
without a crutch.
233
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,053
Well, kids are weak, Marge.
234
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,764
Oh, yeah.
235
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,308
No. No!
236
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,726
Stop it!
237
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,020
Why are you taking down
Everscream Terrors?
238
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:26,357
Our house has to be
a Halloween-free zone.
239
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,610
Your sister has a tummy ache
in her courage.
240
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:30,820
What?
241
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,030
Lisa goes nuts,
and you turn us into...
242
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,782
into skippers?!
243
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,701
{\an8}I know what this makes us.
244
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,035
{\an8}I know!
245
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,371
Honey, I knew you'd be upset,
246
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,082
and that you'd think
only of yourself.
247
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,834
So I'm taking you to the best
248
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,252
trick-or-treating block party
249
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,713
in the tri-Springfield area.
250
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,215
There's a dad who's a deejay.
251
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,467
Even an E.T.
who says your name.
252
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,554
What if I tell the E.T.
my name is a swear?
253
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:57,972
He'll have to say it.
254
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,223
Then I'm in.
255
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,686
(sighs)
256
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,399
(bowl rattles)
257
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:09,900
NELSON:
Haw haw!
258
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,360
(sighs)
259
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,532
Okay, sweetie,
260
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,036
just you and me spending
a regular eve together.
261
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,704
Nothing hallows about it.
262
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,206
I'm sorry
I ruined Halloween, Dad.
263
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,750
(scoffs)
Ruined?
264
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,919
Why, you just created
a new holiday...
265
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,047
Puzzle Wednesday.
266
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,883
A tabby and a calico.
267
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,886
(chuckles) I wouldn't want
to be that ribbon.
268
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,471
(doorbell rings)
269
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,056
Oh, trick-or-treaters.
270
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,974
Don't worry,
I'll get rid of them.
271
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,560
Trick or treat.
272
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,603
Porch light's off, kids.
273
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:46,979
Don't you know what that means?
274
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,982
We're not here for candy,
big man.
275
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,276
Hey, you're those
pop-up scuzzos.
276
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,903
What do you scuzzos want?
277
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,905
We want our jobs back.
278
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,740
Look, I don't want to be rude,
279
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:01,410
but you sad losers should
go suck somewhere else.
280
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,953
Uh, uh...
281
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,414
That? (chuckles)
Oh, that was just
282
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,042
a kindly priest here
to bless our home.
283
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,752
I told him to keep moving.
284
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:10,920
-(doorbell rings)
-(whimpers)
285
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,713
(chuckles nervously) Hey.
286
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,423
Another visitor?
287
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,342
Isn't life funny and safe?
288
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,678
Can't you jerks take a hint?!
289
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,179
Huh?
290
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,098
Hmm, hmm?
291
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,683
(whimpers)
292
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:26,268
THUGS (singsongy):
♪ Creepy nursery rhyme ♪
293
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:30,523
♪ Like in every movie ♪
294
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,611
HOMER:
Mind games!
295
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,824
Whoa, look at this line.
296
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,118
This neighborhood
has to be good.
297
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,329
Sorry, ma'am, residents only.
298
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:48,332
Too many randos crashed
the block party last year,
299
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,335
so "Spine Chills"
is Pine Hills only.
300
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,046
(whining)
Mom, you said we could go here.
301
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,923
We will, we will.
302
00:11:56,006 --> 00:12:00,302
Look, I've got a Groupon here
for a zip line adventure.
303
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,013
Let us in, and it's yours.
304
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:06,058
Zip-lining is everything to me,
but if I take that,
305
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,352
I'm not worth the folding chair
I'm sitting on.
306
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,438
Now, turn around and go.
307
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,314
♪ ♪
308
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,362
BART:
Aw, a bounce house.
309
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,492
Aw...
310
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,660
E.T.?
311
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,996
E.T.:
Hello, Scrotum.
312
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,540
(groans)
Oh.
313
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:30,708
It's over.
314
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,626
I missed Halloween.
315
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:35,296
(hums)
316
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,173
I can't let Lisa know
317
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,800
we're being stalked
by vengeful seasonal thugs.
318
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,802
I'll just whistle a happy tune.
319
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,555
(whistles theme from Halloween)
320
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,737
(humming theme from Halloween)
321
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,991
Why are you locking
up the house?
322
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:06,076
Why...? You've...
323
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,078
Wh-Why does anything happen?
324
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,914
Why are blue jeans blue?
325
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,916
Who invented haircuts?
(laughs)
326
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,502
It's all just stuff I'm saying.
327
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:16,587
Oh.
328
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,506
How did that get there?
329
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:19,924
(muffled scream)
330
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,013
Okay, okay,
intruders in the house.
331
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:27,056
Intruders in the house.
332
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,058
Got to call the cops.
Where's my cell phone?
333
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,060
They took my cell phone.
334
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,354
And they forgot to pay
my phone bill.
335
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:37,274
Wait, why are we going
to Mr. Flanders' house?
336
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,276
I don't know,
just to see his kids.
337
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,696
I want to finally find out which one
is Rod and which one is Max.
338
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,199
(gasps) Tailee! I left him inside.
339
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,784
D'oh!
340
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,540
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!
341
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,208
LISA:
Dad?
342
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,293
Oh. Oh, Lisa.
343
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,295
You're here, we're safe.
344
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,297
Everything's fine.
345
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:04,134
Except for this inexplicable fog.
346
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,556
Boo.
347
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,307
-(screams)
-(screams) Oh, my God!
348
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,268
(screaming)
349
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,769
HOMER:
We got to get out of here!
350
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,229
-He smells so bad!
-Come on, this way!
351
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,439
-Oh, my God, Dad, help!
-This way! Come on!
352
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:21,485
Give me a hit off that fog machine.
353
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,904
We got a fat man to beat on.
354
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,992
(whooping)
355
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,417
MAN:
Here we come.
356
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,919
MAN 2:
We're coming to get you.
357
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,005
(laughter)
358
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:48,554
Okay, okay, I don't think those
pop-up guys saw us come up here.
359
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:53,893
This isn't real, this isn't real,
this isn't real.
360
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,853
Honey, I'm your dad.
361
00:14:55,936 --> 00:15:00,274
I've lied to you more times
than there are stars in the sky.
362
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,109
But I got to be straight.
363
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,652
This is real.
364
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,321
(whimpers)
365
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,364
Okay, Halloween isn't over yet.
366
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,910
We can still squeeze in
some solid trick-or-treating.
367
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,411
(tires screeching)
368
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,997
Hurry, go, go, go!
369
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,415
What? What's the rush?
370
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,250
Go, go, have fun.
371
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,793
There's still time.
372
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:26,008
(gasps)
It's too late.
373
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,427
The change is upon us.
374
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,222
♪ The children are all sleeping ♪
375
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,683
♪ Not one kiddie on the streets ♪
376
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,436
♪ The fun's just starting
for Mommy and Daddy ♪
377
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,562
♪ Sexy tricks ♪
378
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:39,897
BOTH:
♪ And boozy treats ♪
379
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,274
♪ Drunken hobbits ♪
380
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,861
♪ Hit on slutty crayons ♪
381
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:50,532
♪ Policeman dressed
as bondage Frankenstein ♪
382
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,952
♪ Your kid's teacher ♪
383
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,787
♪ In a steampunk orgy ♪
384
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,455
♪ Ha ♪
385
00:15:56,538 --> 00:16:01,293
♪ Grown-ups become monsters
after 9:00 ♪
386
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:06,298
♪ It's time for grown-up Halloween ♪
387
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:10,469
♪ Close your eyes
if you're under 18 ♪
388
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,472
♪ It's my chance
to show boobs ♪
389
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:16,350
♪ Live my fantasy... ♪
390
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,061
♪ 'Cause tomorrow morning ♪
391
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,897
♪ We won't remember a thing ♪
392
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,067
♪ Our lives are awful and dreary ♪
393
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,070
♪ So tonight we're going way,
way, way, way, way too far ♪
394
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,740
♪ Hide your kids,
this cannot be unseen ♪
395
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:36,996
♪ It's naked, wasted,
grown-up Halloween ♪
396
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,163
(tires screeching)
397
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,248
(burps)
398
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,916
(cheering)
399
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,878
Can't hide forever,
thumb-head.
400
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,880
Sooner or later,
you're gonna have to buy
401
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,882
a Thanksgiving decoration,
402
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:52,177
and we'll be waiting
by the Indian corn.
403
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,679
(clattering)
404
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,473
Oh, no, now they're trashing
our stuff.
405
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,308
(chiming)
406
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,310
Oh, they've tangled up
my wind chimes.
407
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,354
How will I know
when the wind is blowing?
408
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,774
(groans) I hate this.
I hate feeling afraid.
409
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,818
Maybe I shouldn't
admit this to my daughter,
410
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:10,154
but I'm scared, too.
411
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,698
But you can't let fear
shut down your brain,
412
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:16,535
because between the two of us,
we've only got one good one.
413
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,579
I've got it.
414
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:24,626
What if... we use these
decorations to signal for help?
415
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,712
You're right.
416
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:30,716
I may not be the smartest dad
or the bravest or the smartest,
417
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:34,553
but I am great at one thing:
drawing attention to our home.
418
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,388
If we're gonna get out of this,
419
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,932
we're going to need
every holiday you've got.
420
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:42,853
♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
421
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:46,023
♪ Halloween is so bueno... ♪
422
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,693
Ooh, the Señor Skeletinos.
423
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,695
He must have leaned
on the "try me" button.
424
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,947
(laughs maniacally)
425
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,366
(taunting)
We're coming to get you.
426
00:17:56,450 --> 00:18:00,871
And no fancy ceiling door
is gonna stop us.
427
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:02,956
(gasps)
428
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,376
MAN:
Almost got it.
429
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,628
(grunts)
430
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,172
Stuck.
(grunting)
431
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,757
They're coming-- hurry!
432
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,093
Time to wake up
the neighborhood.
433
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,513
D'oh!
434
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,473
D'oh!
435
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,308
(thugs clamoring)
436
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,145
Here we go.
437
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,563
(panting) Hurry.
438
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,232
Light the fireworks.
439
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,901
The match won't stay lit--
it's too windy.
440
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,781
I've got something
that will burn.
441
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,533
(gasps)
Are you sure?
442
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,494
Yes, this ratty
piece of polyester
443
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:43,539
has been soaking in face oil
for eight years.
444
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,290
Light him up.
445
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,172
Good-bye, Tailee.
446
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,802
(whistling and popping)
447
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,303
-(gasping)
-What the...?
448
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,721
Huh?
449
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,522
Now plug it in!
450
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:09,982
(people gasping)
451
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,692
Help, help!
452
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:12,943
Help! We're up here!
453
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,027
(muffled speech)
454
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,280
Everscream Terrors
needs our help!
455
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,782
We can get plastered
and hit on our coworkers later.
456
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:19,825
Come on!
457
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,034
Get 'em, Zardoz!
458
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,452
(gasping)
459
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,371
Sexy drunks, stop them!
460
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:26,373
(groaning)
461
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,794
Tragic, really.
462
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:33,839
For are these guys not victims, too,
in a way,
463
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,216
of our disposable pop-up culture?
464
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,010
When you get out,
look me up.
465
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:41,221
I know a guy who owns
a 99-cent store.
466
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,057
99-cent store?
467
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:47,060
Those places
are open year-round!
468
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,062
The holidays will come and go,
469
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,899
but... (sniffles) we'll stay.
470
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,737
Grown-up Halloween
seemed pretty fun.
471
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,739
I saw an areola.
472
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,741
Oh, man, this is the lamest night
473
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,576
of my entire miserable li...
474
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,203
(gasps)
475
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:06,413
Yes!
476
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:09,333
Everscream Terrors is back!
477
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:11,919
(Bart laughs)
478
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:14,671
Stop it, stop it!
This will scare Lisa!
479
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:15,756
Boo!
480
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,966
(gasping)
481
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,469
(giggles)
482
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,346
My brave girl.
483
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,514
(whispers)
I burned Tailee.
484
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,560
(laughs)
485
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,937
Foolish Simpsons.
486
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,898
This was not their typical
Halloween experience.
487
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,943
Wow, cool alien voice, Lenny.
488
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,737
Thanks, I've been practicing it.
As a mat...
489
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,989
(normal voice)
Oh, damn it, I lost it.
490
00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:04,680
{\an8}(theme from Halloween playing)
491
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167
Shh!
492
00:21:37,879 --> 00:21:39,965
Subtitled by B. Everdene