1
00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,504
♪ ♪
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,008
{\an8}(sniffing)
3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:11,970
(sniffing)
4
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,346
(crunching)
5
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,518
{\an8}(munching loudly)
6
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,020
(sucking pacifier)
7
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,688
(panting)
8
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,067
(whimpers)
9
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,700
(disgusted growl)
10
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,785
♪ ♪
11
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,622
(grunts)
Hmm?
12
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,595
(barking)
13
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:59,017
-(foreboding music plays)
-(neon sign crackles)
14
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,148
♪ ♪
15
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,279
{\an8}(soda can pops open)
16
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,241
{\an8}(crunching noisily)
17
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,997
{\an8}ANNOUNCER:
Coming up on Undercover CEO,
18
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,500
{\an8}Krusty the clown learns
what it's like to work for himself.
19
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,834
{\an8}HOMER:
Pass.
20
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,670
{\an8}There comes a time in everyone's life
21
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,339
{\an8}when you need a little extra help
22
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,132
{\an8}getting up from your chair.
23
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,927
That's why we invented
the Seat-to-Feet Lift Chair,
24
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,054
which makes getting up by yourself...
25
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:36,971
{\an8}A thing of the past?
26
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,057
{\an8}-...a thing of the past!
-Whoo-hoo!
27
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,101
{\an8}(whirring)
28
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,270
{\an8}Wha...? He's... He's up!
29
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,397
{\an8}(choked up)
He's up.
30
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,108
{\an8}(gasps, moans)
31
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,609
{\an8}Eleventy-hundred?
32
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,319
{\an8}I can't afford that.
33
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:53,446
{\an8}But that chair
would be a lot better
34
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,365
{\an8}than the way I get up now.
35
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,367
{\an8}(growling)
36
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,536
{\an8}(grunting)
37
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,537
{\an8}Come on...
38
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,538
{\an8}Yeah!
39
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,331
{\an8}(panting)
40
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,043
(inhales)
41
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:09,796
{\an8}Magic Club!
42
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,131
{\an8}Join the Magic Club!
43
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,299
{\an8}Want to cut up a banana
without peeling it?
44
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,717
{\an8}Join and...
45
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,595
{\an8}(spookily)
I'll tell you how.
46
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,140
{\an8}It's with a needle and thread!
47
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,766
{\an8}I like magic.
48
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,476
{\an8}I'm gonna take one of your cards.
49
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,812
{\an8}Or did I take 52?
50
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,438
{\an8}(gasps)
51
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,982
{\an8}Do you want to join?
52
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,400
{\an8}You could be president!
53
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,401
{\an8}Just man the booth.
54
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:32,569
{\an8}I need to go to the bathroom.
55
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:33,987
{\an8}I'd love to join.
56
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,573
{\an8}Honestly, this is the only booth
that doesn't creep me out.
57
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,491
{\an8}Hug me! Hug me!
58
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,035
{\an8}Hug me!
59
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,996
{\an8}I'm Harper.
Just moved here.
60
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,455
{\an8}Trying to make friends.
61
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,082
{\an8}Lisa. Always been here.
62
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,458
{\an8}Trying to make friends.
63
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,127
{\an8}(both giggle)
64
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,796
{\an8}Well, I've got news
for all of your clubs:
65
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,592
{\an8}it's 3:00 p.m.,
so Willie's turnin' on the sprinklers!
66
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,677
{\an8}(kids screaming)
67
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,012
{\an8}HOMER:
Guys,
68
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,138
{\an8}I need your advice.
69
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,182
{\an8}Season three of anything
is the best.
70
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,268
{\an8}Agreed. But I wanted advice
for something else.
71
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,603
{\an8}(sighs)
72
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,188
{\an8}There's something I really
need for my well-being,
73
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,148
{\an8}but I just don't have the bucks.
74
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,192
{\an8}The thing everyone's
doing these days,
75
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,277
{\an8}uh, by which I mean a couple
of years ago,
76
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,279
{\an8}is to get money through crowdfunding.
77
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,488
{\an8}You thought about that?
78
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,324
{\an8}Yes, but what is it?
79
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,534
{\an8}Crowdfunding is when lots of people
80
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,369
{\an8}give you small amounts of money
81
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,496
{\an8}to help your passion project
come to life.
82
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,124
Thanks to crowdfunding,
we have Makey Makey computers,
83
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,500
the 3Doodler pen,
84
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,502
and Zach Braff's generation-defining dud
85
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,837
Wish I Was Here.
86
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,297
Well, if there's anything
87
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,841
that has true wisdom, it's crowds.
88
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,262
Hmm.
89
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,682
{\an8}Hello, friends.
90
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,727
{\an8}Are you sick of Big Charity
asking you for money,
91
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:51,648
{\an8}with its free return envelopes
and annoying black tie dinners?
92
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:55,151
{\an8}Well, I'm here to ask you
for something different.
93
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,653
{\an8}Something simple.
94
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:59,405
{\an8}You can help a man get back on his feet.
95
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,823
{\an8}Dad, what are you recording?
96
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,033
{\an8}Ooh, Lisa.
97
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,077
{\an8}Turn to camera and quickly say,
"Please give."
98
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,495
{\an8}Please give.
99
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,746
{\an8}Give what?
100
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,957
{\an8}Uh, Lisa...
Eh, well, we'll fix that in post.
101
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,917
(sobs)
102
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,711
He didn't even have the money
to fix that in post.
103
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,922
That is the saddest thing
I've ever seen.
104
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,298
(sobbing)
105
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,424
{\an8}(cash register bell rings)
106
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,761
Well, I suppose I could spare a little
for my neighboreeno.
107
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,846
Will you shut up, Flanders?!
108
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,640
(chuckles)
Lip zipped.
109
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:26,641
(cash register bell rings)
110
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:29,352
I don't give handouts to poor people.
111
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:32,021
It's not in the spirit
of self-made Americanism,
112
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:36,317
as espoused
by Russian weirdo Ayn Rand.
113
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,113
-(cash register bell rings)
-Dang it!
114
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,699
{\an8}We did it, friends. Made our goal.
115
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:46,202
{\an8}And now, to reveal the miracle
that you all made happen...
116
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,454
{\an8}(whirring)
117
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,541
{\an8}That's right.
You bought me this chair.
118
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:55,420
{\an8}My ass was just lifted
by a thousand angels.
119
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:56,754
We bought him a chair?!
120
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,631
That lazy lump!
121
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,883
After I finish this beer
and have a nap,
122
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,094
I may just call him.
123
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,388
(scoffs)
You gave money to this idiot?
124
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,724
It was from
my separate bank account.
125
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,058
What separate account?
126
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,562
Uh... I only use it to pay
for my separate phone.
127
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,355
You have a separate phone?
128
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,941
Um... um... uh...
129
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,526
MAN (on TV):
Up, down,
130
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,862
up, down.
131
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,613
-Up, down,
-(chair squeaking)
132
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,324
up, down.
133
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,408
Good!
134
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,743
You feel the burning in your core?
135
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,286
Oh, yes, I do.
136
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,497
(blowing)
137
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,999
(slurps)
Mmm.
138
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,208
(pounding at door)
139
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,252
MARGE:
Homie, answer the door!
140
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,756
For the first time in my life,
I'd be happy to.
141
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,175
-(pounding continues)
-(Homer hums happily)
142
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,134
(crowd clamoring)
143
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,844
Spend my money on a chair, sir?
144
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,346
You're a lazy, bald monster.
145
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,472
Don't be alarmed, there, Homer.
146
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,349
We're just gonna calmly and gently
147
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,017
destroy that chair!
148
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,185
No way.
149
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,520
My chair is now protected
by a human shield.
150
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,067
(Homer shrieks)
151
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,276
-MOE: Take that, you idiot!
-(shouting)
152
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,362
(muffled shouting continues in other room)
153
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:07,492
Lisa... the crowdfunding video
you costarred in
154
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,452
is causing a lot of problems.
155
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,204
The what-what I what-whatted in?
156
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:12,205
(crowd shouting angrily)
157
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,456
(chanting)
Burn that chair!
158
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,208
Burn that chair!
159
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,293
Wait a minute.
That's not the chair.
160
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,755
(siren wails)
161
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,342
No tip!
162
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,677
(sorrowful music plays)
163
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,147
(humming)
164
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,232
(sighs)
165
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,566
Guess a guy like me
166
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,735
is never gonna get
the finer things in life.
167
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,070
What's the point?
168
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,738
Aw, you poor thing.
169
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,241
I've never
seen you this unhappy lying down.
170
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,617
LISA:
Dad?
171
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,495
Can you take me to a concert
with my new friend Harper?
172
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,330
Her dad got us the seats.
173
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,915
Sure, why not?
174
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,668
It'll be nosebleed
or obstructed-view seats.
175
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,170
That's all a self-pitying guy
like me ever gets.
176
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,380
Who's the band?
177
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,424
They're an adorable
Australian boy band,
178
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,592
and you can't really understand
what they're saying.
179
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,511
But who cares?
180
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,012
I understand.
181
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,598
That's how I felt about Crocodile Dundee.
182
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,100
I will never forgive you
183
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:16,102
for making us see that third movie.
184
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,146
♪ ♪
185
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,198
Music in a sports arena.
186
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,701
The acoustics are gonna be a joke.
187
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,536
Two tickets for Homer Simpson.
188
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,745
Here you go.
189
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:38,207
And here are your platinum
V.I.P. wristbands.
190
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,460
What the...? V.I.P.?
191
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,753
Oh, this is never coming off.
192
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:46,382
Just like the one
from the last great day in my life.
193
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,217
{\an8}Oh, those muffins.
194
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,555
And it's all thanks to Harper's dad.
195
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,557
Who is this guy?
196
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,767
Mm.
197
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,227
-(upbeat music playing)
-Ooh.
198
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,606
Mi hijo queria ver esto,
199
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,233
pero no puedo arrastrarla a mi show.
200
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,903
Yes, yes, yes.
201
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,449
(classical music playing)
202
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,659
Whoa!
The only platinum band I have
203
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,870
is the one that's holding
my skull together.
204
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,705
Um, through that door.
205
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,250
Remember when we were A-list?
206
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,753
It all went south for me
when I got that D.U.I.
207
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,464
and said all those things
I secretly believe.
208
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,841
Doe-eyed Boys!
209
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,593
(screams happily)
210
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,513
Where? Where? Maybe one of these
four little wimps will tell me.
211
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,847
Answer me, wimps!
212
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,015
That's them.
213
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:37,975
The band. (squeals)
214
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,352
Hi. I'm Bindi,
215
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:42,313
and this is Boz,
McQuarrie and Wodonga.
216
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,357
(gasps)
Wodonga.
217
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,858
I'm afraid you don't belong here.
218
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,027
Your wristbands are platinum with stripes.
219
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,695
(gasps) You belong...
220
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,531
in there, braddah!
221
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,034
(heavenly music plays)
222
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,786
Oh, my God!
223
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:57,954
Oh!
224
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,288
Oh, I wish I could tell you guys
225
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,123
what's in there, but you know...
226
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,167
no stripes.
227
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,921
Lisa! You made it!
228
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:13,886
Homer Simpson?
229
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,137
I'm Harper's dad.
230
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,140
And I am so stoked to meet you!
231
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:22,979
My entire life has been a journey
toward these seats.
232
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,814
Who are you?
233
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,650
("Sirius" by Alan Parsons Project plays)
234
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,987
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
235
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,824
please welcome the new owner
of the Springfield Arena,
236
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:39,203
the CEO of J-Cloud
Digital Storage Solutions...
237
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,747
Mike Jambowski!
238
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,417
(whooping)
239
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,918
I love this venue!
240
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,046
(chanting)
Ven-ue! Ven-ue! Ven-ue!
241
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,756
Venue...
242
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,174
(whoops)
Venue!
243
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,052
Hey, you want to fire
a confetti gun, Homer?
244
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,805
(gasps) That's the only
kind of gun I've never fired.
245
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,349
Come on, just point and squeeze.
246
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,351
-(arena fanfare plays)
-(crowd cheering)
247
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,853
I know that guy.
248
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,771
Yeah, sure you do, Uncle Lenny.
249
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,565
No, he works at the plant with me.
250
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:08,858
Homer something.
251
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,113
♪ When we harmonize ♪
252
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,490
♪ And you look in our eyes ♪
253
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,784
-♪ You'll see it's no surprise ♪
-(girls squealing)
254
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,871
♪ That we're your Nobel Prize ♪
255
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,914
♪ 'Cause, girl, you know it's true ♪
256
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,668
♪ All four of us love you ♪
257
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,213
♪ Yeah, we do,
yeah, we do, yeah, we do ♪
258
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,633
-♪ Monday I love you ♪
-♪ Tuesday I do, too ♪
259
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:34,717
♪ Wednesday that's for me ♪
260
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,968
♪ Thursday I love thee ♪
261
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,888
-♪ Friday is your day... ♪
-(sighing)
262
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,640
Is this heaven?
263
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,893
Not quite, 'cause I hate the music.
264
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:47,146
Maybe we're not close enough
to the band, huh?
265
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,816
♪ How about we all just... ♪
266
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:51,984
Fantastic!
267
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,904
The future of music, man! Wow!
268
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,656
Hey, Homer,
you want to get out of here, get a beer?
269
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,866
♪ Girl, you know it's true ♪
270
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:02,787
♪ All four of us love you ♪
271
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:05,331
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
272
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,671
And now a special guest.
273
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,714
From the Hasbro Channel's
hit sitcom
274
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,175
Recycle Michael
and the Tin Can Crew,
275
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:20,096
inoffensive robot superstar,
Der Zip Zorp.
276
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,555
(record scratching)
277
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,973
(crowd cheering)
278
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,392
(groans)
279
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,146
Hi, I'm Gus,
and I'll be happy to serve you.
280
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,357
A friendly bartender?
281
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,484
This is like being from North Korea
282
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,986
and finding out there's a South Korea.
283
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:39,281
Homer, a toast
to two single dads doing their best.
284
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,033
I'm not a single dad.
285
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,119
Well, this will just be a toast
to me, then.
286
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,203
(shouts)
287
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:46,163
Ooh, whoa!
Are you okay?
288
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,373
Be careful.
289
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:48,708
I love you.
290
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,459
I'm great!
(laughs)
291
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,461
When I'm happy, I make holes.
292
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,256
And when I'm sad, I buy a hockey team.
293
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,966
They cost, like, nothing, man.
294
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,385
And I made $80 million today.
295
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,679
Bam-bam-bam!
(laughs)
296
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,222
-You try.
-Whoo-hoo!
297
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,306
Bam!
298
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,307
(skull crackling)
299
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,601
(muttering)
300
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:08,936
(Homer groaning)
301
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,981
(stammers)
Did I make $80 million?
302
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,984
No, but you made a fool
of the doctor who said you'd die.
303
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,485
Well, he still might!
304
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,695
Not today.
305
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,698
Wow, Mike's daughter seems really great.
306
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:21,907
Yeah, but it was weird.
307
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,492
At first she was nice to me,
308
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,620
but then when the band came,
she wouldn't let me say a word.
309
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,166
Uh, listen, sweetie.
310
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,876
Let me tell you a fact of life.
311
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:35,838
The world is full of wonderful,
priceless experiences,
312
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,133
and I can't give you any of them.
313
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,926
But this girl can.
314
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,096
So it doesn't matter if she talks to you,
315
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:48,058
looks at you,
or is disrespectful to your father.
316
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,604
She is your best friend.
317
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,731
Mm, I don't know.
318
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,107
(phone chimes)
319
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:59,111
Huh, Harper just invited us
to go see David Copperfield.
320
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,613
Oh, my God!
321
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,532
That's something only
tourists in Vegas get to do!
322
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,201
(dog howls)
323
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,204
Did you ever sit in the back of anything?
324
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,872
Just a space shuttle, man.
325
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,583
My one regret
is I was too drunk to drive.
326
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:14,960
(laughs)
Oh-oh, oh-oh, bam!
327
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,587
Bam on that one.
328
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,297
Okay, ladies, would each of you tell me
329
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,424
your favorite TV show and dessert.
330
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,593
Certainly.
My favorites are The Happy Little Elves...
331
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:24,011
Krusty and cotton candy.
332
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:26,430
I was gonna say what my...
333
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,432
Sorry,
that's too long without me talking.
334
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:30,935
(audience gasps)
335
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,353
So what do I do now?!
336
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:35,606
Don't worry. Harper,
what's your favorite starving wild animal?
337
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,691
Crocodile?
338
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,112
-What's the trick here?!
-(snarling)
339
00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,573
I'm so happy.
340
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,826
(sighs)
Marge, do you know what it's like
341
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,454
to have a man take care
of your every need?
342
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,541
I've thought about it a lot, but no.
343
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,750
How come you're so quiet?
344
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,460
Did he switch your brain
with a rabbit's?
345
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,171
'Cause that means somewhere
there is one annoying rabbit.
346
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,673
Shut up.
347
00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:03,676
I just keep thinking about
the way Harper cut me off.
348
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,261
It's kind of weird.
349
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,763
Yeah, that was kind of weird.
350
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,139
I'd have said something for sure,
351
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,350
but my mouth was full of truffle popcorn.
352
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,935
-(phone chimes)
-(gasps)
353
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,603
Mike just invited our family
354
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,898
to spend next week
on their private island!
355
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,608
Wow, a whole week.
356
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,110
Too bad the kids have school.
357
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,778
Marge, please.
358
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,532
Lisa's not gonna fall behind
and Bart's not gonna catch up.
359
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,868
We do not want our kids spoiled.
360
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,703
(groans)
Yeah, okay.
361
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:33,622
Maybe this is where
this thing should stop.
362
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,171
(phone rings)
363
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:42,548
Hello?
364
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,049
This is Principal Seymour Skinner.
365
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,176
We're calling parents,
starting with you,
366
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,138
to let them know that school
has been canceled next week.
367
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,391
Hmm.
Did that rich dad buy you off?
368
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,642
(laughs)
369
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,645
Seymour Skinner is not for sale.
370
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,650
The bread is in the oven.
371
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,903
Lisa, Lisa, wait!
372
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:06,071
I'm so glad you guys
are coming with us.
373
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:10,075
So... I got you a friendship present.
374
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,411
(hums "ta-da")
375
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,455
A new bike?
376
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,291
Uh, that's so nice of you.
377
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,752
35 gears,
Tiffany crystal bell.
378
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,086
(melodious chime plays)
379
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,298
And the latest anti-theft device.
380
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,467
FEMALE VOICE:
You're not Lisa Simpson.
381
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,093
Okay, what's the story?
382
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,720
This we show up for.
383
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,598
Harper, this bike is wonderful.
384
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,224
Too wonderful.
385
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,061
It just wouldn't be right
for me to accept it.
386
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,229
You'd rather have your crappy bike?
387
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:42,983
Look, Harper, this may be crappy,
but it's my bike.
388
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,861
My dad assembled it
on Christmas day.
389
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,405
Which is why I have to pedal
backwards to go forwards.
390
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,240
But still, I love this!
391
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,701
Uh, I didn't realize
getting you the best bike
392
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,287
you ever saw
would make you so mad.
393
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,081
I'm not mad, I just think this is...
394
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,290
Just what?
395
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,417
Don't appreciate what I did for you?
396
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,503
Why do you always
interrupt me like that?
397
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,129
-That's not how friends...
-Uh, I think I know how friends are.
398
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,714
How would you like it if I
interrupted you all the time?
399
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,299
I could've been friends with anybody--
400
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,384
-Janey, Sherri, Terri,
-You wouldn't like it all, would you?
401
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,094
-Hubert Wong, Wendy Wang...
-No, you wouldn't.
402
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,971
Interrupt, interrupt,
interrupt, interrupt!
403
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,390
Could you please,
just for once, not interrupt me?!
404
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,975
Whoa, sweet bike.
405
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,476
BOTH:
You can have it!
406
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,894
Even sweeter.
407
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,980
As soon as I put
some training wheels on this,
408
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,983
I'll be the coolest kid ever.
409
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,235
Oh! Too fast!
410
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,862
(breathing deeply)
411
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,244
You can put that stuff away,
'cause the trip is off!
412
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,371
Well, where are we going with Harper?
413
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:40,249
Nowhere,
'cause we're not friends anymore.
414
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,417
(muffled)
D'oh!
415
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,178
♪ ♪
416
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,266
You owe me
a Caribbean vacation, Lisa!
417
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,684
St. Croix or better.
418
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,353
Lisa, sweetie,
I just want to understand.
419
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,147
You got in a fight with her
420
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:06,025
because she tried
to give you a new bike?
421
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,776
But she was so condescending!
422
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,279
Yeah, she was "kinda sending"
you a new bike.
423
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,198
Can you all please get out of my room?
424
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,285
♪ ♪
425
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,288
{\an8}MIKE: Let's not let our little girls'
not liking each other
426
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,290
{\an8}stand in the way
of their being friends.
427
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,791
Come to the island, man.
428
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,168
We have everything there,
429
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,962
except for trunks your size. Ha!
430
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,338
You still want us to come?
431
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,798
Oh, kids fight all the time.
432
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,051
They're not in control of themselves
like we are.
433
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,053
Damn, that is a beautiful sunset!
434
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,638
Damn! Damn! (yells)
435
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,682
Whew.
Now, we'll meet you on the island,
436
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,852
and the only problem
will be the sand in our whatevers.
437
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,982
Sweetie, we really appreciate this.
438
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,318
And your brother, well, he's...
439
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,652
Where is your brother?
440
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,987
BART:
Hey, a whale.
441
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,155
Oh, it's Homer.
442
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,741
-(Bart laughing)
-(dolphins chattering)
443
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,576
Oh, I'll show you.
444
00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:00,037
Hey, sharks, here's some chum!
445
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:00,996
(screams)
446
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,499
(chuckles)
447
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,335
Welcome to Jambowski Island.
448
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,253
Formerly Haiti.
449
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,842
I'm really glad you came, Lisa.
450
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,344
Thanks for having us.
451
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,763
Now, Homer,
I got you a special surprise.
452
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:20,265
HOMER:
A beach lift chair!
453
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,184
The laziest thing there is.
454
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,435
Aw.
455
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,522
(calypso music playing)
456
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,786
(moans happily)
457
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,121
♪ ♪
458
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,219
HOMER:
Suckers!
459
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,556
♪ ♪
460
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,105
♪ Underneath the mango tree ♪
461
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:13,610
♪ Me honey and me can watch for the moon ♪
462
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,113
♪ Underneath the mango tree ♪
463
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:20,826
♪ Me honey and me make boolooloop soon ♪
464
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,162
Harper flipped a sea turtle on its back!
465
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,663
My beach, my turtle!
466
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:26,623
Why is everything yours?!
467
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,877
Oh, why do you kids have to argue
all the time?
468
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,045
'Cause she wants things her way
469
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,881
instead of the right way.
470
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,716
Homer, help me out here.
471
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,635
No, no, with the girls.
472
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,763
Just tell your kid to let my kid
have her way this time.
473
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,182
And every other time.
474
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,683
(crying)
Dad...
475
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,436
I think you have a choice to make here.
476
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,777
(sighs)
477
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,447
It's time I stood up for myself.
478
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,782
(whirring)
479
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,869
Harper, I know I shouldn't say this
on your private island,
480
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,996
but you're kind of spoiled.
481
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:07,956
-(both gasp)
-That's right.
482
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,666
You don't deserve Lisa.
483
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,835
There's nothing I love more than her.
484
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,129
She's the sun, the moon
and the other thing to me.
485
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,131
(gasps)
Thank you.
486
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,841
And we don't have
to be on the same island
487
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,885
with people who push
my little girl around.
488
00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:20,886
Let's go, Marge.
489
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,305
Now? I just got up.
490
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:24,473
Now, please!
491
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:27,017
If you leave this island,
you're not taking the yacht.
492
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,060
Oh, no.
493
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,978
You're taking a limo to a private jet,
494
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,980
which is flying you straight home!
495
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,025
Then so be it. Hmph.
496
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,904
(grunting)
497
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:44,660
{\an8}I know how you feel, buddy.
498
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,537
{\an8}(Homer groans)
Oh, I better sit down.
499
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,914
{\an8}Where can I sit?
500
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,338
{\an8}Dad, what you said was really nice.
501
00:20:56,421 --> 00:21:00,092
{\an8}And believe me,
we're much better off... off that island.
502
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:03,887
{\an8}I know.
Good-bye, crystal-clear lagoon.
503
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,807
{\an8}Good riddance, pink sand beach.
504
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:09,059
{\an8}Good-bye, swim-up movie theater
505
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:12,020
{\an8}that was going to show
Back to the Future.
506
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,814
{\an8}Good-bye, sweet liquors
507
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:16,608
{\an8}that didn't let Marge know
I was drunk.
508
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,569
{\an8}Good-bye, snorkeling and Jet-Skiing
509
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,781
{\an8}and other things I never tried.
510
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:26,576
{\an8}Good-bye, obese natives
that made me feel fit.
511
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:29,204
{\an8}Good-bye, Bart. Bart?!
512
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,206
{\an8}(laughing)
513
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,001
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
514
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965
Subtitled by Jimmy Boots