1
00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:03,712
GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE:
I can't see!
2
00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:06,214
-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
-(engine sputters)
3
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,299
{\an8}(theme music playing)
4
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,511
(exclaims)
5
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,268
(school bell ringing)
6
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(belches)
7
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-(whistle blows)
-(yells)
8
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,406
(beeps)
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♪ ♪
10
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,878
(tires screech)
11
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D'oh!
12
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,425
-(tires screech)
-(grunts)
13
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(sad music playing)
14
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:05,148
♪ ♪
15
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,536
(dramatic music playing)
16
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♪ ♪
17
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(gunfire)
18
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(groans, gasps)
19
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(whimpers)
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(chuckles)
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{\an8}Hmm?
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(sad music playing)
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(gasps)
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(theme music playing)
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{\an8}Uh... (clears throat)
26
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{\an8}-Sir?
-Yes?
27
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{\an8}Uh, well, tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
28
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,168
{\an8}Ah, yes, the day
of the great Chicago massacre.
29
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,462
{\an8}Uh, and our employees have requested
30
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{\an8}to leave early
to be with their loved ones.
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{\an8}Of course, uh, I'll be with you.
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{\an8}(coughs)
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{\an8}Ooh, Smithers. More face hardener.
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{\an8}-(skin squeaks)
-Never!
35
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{\an8}Well, if you want to tamp down
a potential rebellion,
36
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,062
{\an8}might I suggest a party after work.
37
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{\an8}A sweethearts dance, if you will.
38
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{\an8}Sweet... hearts?
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Mmm... tasty.
40
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{\an8}-Excellent.
-(hearts beating)
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{\an8}Oh, I don't want candy.
42
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{\an8}It's not candy. It's baby hearts.
43
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{\an8}MR. BURNS: Ah...
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{\an8}A sweet hearts dance it is.
45
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{\an8}(arrows whooshing)
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{\an8}(gunshot)
47
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{\an8}Hey, Brandine!
48
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{\an8}You know how to Shake 'N Bake cherub?
49
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,264
{\an8}Cletus, you know I can fry up
50
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{\an8}whatever you can shoot down.
51
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,561
{\an8}Oh, Brandine,
of all the cousins I coulda married,
52
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{\an8}you was my sister. (chuckles)
53
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{\an8}(bird caws)
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{\an8}(dance music plays)
55
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{\an8}Carl, this is Mandy.
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{\an8}Mandy, isn't Carl
everything I said he was?
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{\an8}Okay, Lenny,
time to stop talking about Carl.
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{\an8}Why don't you to ask me
to stop breathing?
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{\an8}Oh, Marge, it's so great to combine
the two loves of my life--
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{\an8}goofing off and you.
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{\an8}Hey, listen, there's one fantasy
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{\an8}I've always wanted to indulge in.
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{\an8}If you're willing.
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(moaning, kissing)
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(Marge gasps)
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What are those frisky hounds up to now?
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(shrieks)
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{\an8}(yells, grunts)
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{\an8}Wait a minute.
70
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{\an8}That contractor said
this was a bottomless pit!
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{\an8}I'll have his license!
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{\an8}Hey, Professor!
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{\an8}I didn't know you worked
here at the plant.
74
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{\an8}I consult.
Sometimes they listen, sometimes not.
75
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{\an8}People have died.
You didn't hear that from me.
76
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{\an8}So, who are you here with?
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{\an8}Well, no one as yet.
78
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,871
{\an8}But I haven't turned on
the old Frink charm.
79
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,082
{\an8}Hello there, voy-vy.
80
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:16,589
{\an8}Well, there's, uh,
no mistaking that message.
81
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(bird caws)
82
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,552
-(cell phone ringing)
-GRAMPA (on phone): Hello, Homer!
83
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,680
D'oh! What is it, Dad?
84
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,432
It's Valentine's Day. I'm alone.
85
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,435
And that cat who can smell
if you're dying is staring at me.
86
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-What are you looking at?!
-(meows)
87
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(whispers) Son, I'm scared.
88
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:36,025
This cat has taken five this year.
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People in their 90s
don't just suddenly die for no reason.
90
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Please come.
91
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,784
Okay, Dad. We'll come over.
92
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Can you pick me up a pack of diapers?
93
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,038
Oh, for--
They always think they're for me.
94
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,125
Fine. I'll just take
a large drum of butt ointment.
95
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,794
-(meows)
-Hurry!
96
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,428
-(screeches)
-Uh-oh.
97
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:07,098
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.
98
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,893
{\an8}I don't see why, unless you found
that missing puzzle piece.
99
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,604
{\an8}How 'bout I put on some music?
100
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♪ I... never... ♪
101
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,571
♪ Smiled again... ♪
102
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Oh, I used to dance
with my Auggie to that tune.
103
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Yeah, me and my Bubbeleh
made love to that song.
104
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Creating a kid who never visits.
105
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ANNOUNCER: And now back
to Prairie Home Companion.
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{\an8}-(screaming)
-MAN: Pull the plug!
107
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{\an8}No, on me.
108
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{\an8}Okay, time for some Valentine's candy
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{\an8}for our swinging seniors.
110
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Don't patronize us. We know it's pills.
111
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But it's a new brand
and they're oh so pretty-- look, green.
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Like M&M'S with hope.
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Oh, it's starting to kick in.
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Much... better.
115
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Suddenly, I don't want to kvetch.
I want to kvell!
116
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I can feel all the tension
going out of my beard.
117
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-Oh...
-(relaxed moans)
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Oh...
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♪ ♪
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(barking)
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Mona? I thought you were gone.
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Nonsense, Abe.
123
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I didn't leave you
and I'm never going to leave you.
124
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That doesn't sound like the Mona I knew.
125
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I'm the Mona that lives in your memory,
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with all the anger
turned to honey by nostalgia.
127
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So what you're saying
is this is really happening.
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(laughs)
129
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(big band music playing)
130
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(no music playing)
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Do you think it's okay
to leave them here?
132
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Marge, all we ever do is leave them here.
133
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(scoffs) I just think
there's more we should do.
134
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We could visit your mother.
135
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:07,051
No. No, you're right. Let's go home.
136
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{\an8}HOMER: Check it out, guys.
137
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:12,557
CVS stands for Cheap Valentines' Surplus.
138
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,600
You get a box! You get a box!
139
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,770
Haven't forgotten about you,
suspicious Iranian coworker.
140
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,397
(Iranian accent)
Please, call me Dennis.
141
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,065
(Frink groaning)
142
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,901
Oh, my gurvy is muh.
143
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,778
-Oi...
-Professor?
144
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,072
Professor, come on, this is a workplace.
145
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,533
Ooh, dregs!
146
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:34,245
Oh, wow.
Oh, my egg head is pickled, muh-oyvic.
147
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,289
Did you sleep here all night?
148
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:37,915
Yes, you are right, I did.
149
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,585
Valentine's Day, you see,
is quite difficult for me.
150
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,588
I saw that Stephen Hawking movie
and all I could think is,
151
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:46,257
"He's got a girl?"
Give me a frickin' break.
152
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,926
-Two girls.
-Oh, I'll never win,
153
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,512
and I'll always have to only be looking.
154
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:55,766
Listen, pal, I've had plenty
of experience with one woman.
155
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,270
And I can tell you,
relationships are just trial and error.
156
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Like anniversaries.
157
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,273
First I tried "don't remember,"
158
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:03,774
then "remember too late,"
159
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:07,153
then I happily settled on
"make Lisa remember."
160
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:10,490
And my relationship with Lisa
has never been better.
161
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,783
Yes, you say trial and error, eh?
162
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,786
My good man, that is nothing
more than the scientific method.
163
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:16,871
(bell dings)
164
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,706
Well, now, that's a little wasteful.
165
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,625
-(bell dings)
-Ah, much better.
166
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,253
I shall use science to uncover
the secret to women.
167
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,717
Homer, scientific research
168
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,637
can solve anything
except for cold fusion, quasars,
169
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,806
the interior of black holes
and what preceded the big bang.
170
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,100
But everything else can be solved,
171
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,186
including love.
172
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,687
Pish-posh, Professor.
173
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,315
What makes a guy and a girl click
isn't science.
174
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:45,983
It's chemistry!
175
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,194
-Which is science.
-What?!
176
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,904
(dog howls)
177
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:53,157
See, I have asked an enormous
cross-section of women
178
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,992
one single question--
179
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,827
what attracts you to a man?
180
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,330
Let us listen and learn
and have some lemonade,
181
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,165
which I just squeezed nicely.
182
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,333
(overlapping voices)
183
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,001
...the most important
thing that I look for...
184
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,003
I like it when they're tall.
185
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,755
-Blue eyes!
-Definitely wants kids.
186
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,091
Hmm, I didn't hear the last one.
187
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,429
First I'll replace
these Coke bottle glasses
188
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,932
with invisible blue contacts.
189
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,684
Mm-hmm.
190
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,686
{\an8}Next, of course, is shoe lifts for height.
191
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,437
{\an8}Make you much taller,
look down upon people.
192
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,064
{\an8}It's wonderful. Whoa, whoa...
193
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,942
{\an8}Hey, look at me.
I'm Herman Munster! (laughs)
194
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,445
Actually, he had Lily,
who was quite a dish.
195
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:35,283
So, do you, uh, find me attractive?
196
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,702
-Sorry, but no.
-Oh, curse the luck!
197
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:41,080
And this is an android that I programmed
to say nothing but "yes."
198
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,624
(electronic whooshing)
199
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,167
Why? Why? Why?
200
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,545
What am I over-look-ing?
201
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,922
Uh, Professor, don't be offended.
202
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,133
Do you think it might be your voice?
203
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,176
Why, what's wrong with my voice,
204
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,262
with the up and down
and the extra words
205
00:09:56,345 --> 00:10:00,308
and the terminal nonsense
in the hoyven clyven wayen.
206
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,102
Oh, my God, it's the voice.
207
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,353
Duh.
208
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,688
MARGE: Hello.
209
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,690
We're here to see Abe Simpson.
210
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,860
-I brought him a homemade card!
-I brought me. That's enough.
211
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,697
-Oh... what the...
-(woman humming)
212
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,783
Gee, I thought
they'd be over this by now.
213
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,202
(humming)
214
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,622
Wow, they are really out of it.
215
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,957
There must be some way
to take advantage of them.
216
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,375
You're telling me!
217
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:28,836
Eh.
218
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,632
This little device,
which fits under the tongue,
219
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,550
will change everything.
220
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,888
(deep, sexy voice)
This voice is an amalgam of great voices
221
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,264
(like Clark Gable)
from Clark Gable...
222
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,599
(like Walter Cronkite)
to Walter Cronkite...
223
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,267
(like Rush Limbaugh)
to Rush Limbaugh!
224
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,518
(deep, sexy voice)
I don't agree with his politics,
225
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,646
but his body is a natural echo chamber.
226
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,649
Wow. That does change everything.
227
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,442
You turned me on.
228
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:54,028
Oh, it's time
for a little field test, I see.
229
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,613
Any other advice, Homer?
230
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,907
Yep-- hang out at yoga classes.
231
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,117
That's where the ladies are.
232
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,286
(normal voice)
How would you know about yoga class?
233
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,789
Uh, I thought it was yogurt class.
234
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,627
{\an8}21! Dealer wins again.
235
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,882
Now, here's our headliner, Dolly Parton.
236
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,717
(banjo playing)
237
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,305
Oh, she's good.
238
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,141
-Bart!
-Ay, caramba!
239
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,352
{\an8}You're taking advantage of these people
240
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:28,187
{\an8}who don't know where they are.
241
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,064
{\an8}I'm taking them back where they belong.
242
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,399
Oh, no, you don't.
243
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,609
He just comped me a suite!
244
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,404
-Fantastic!
-(clattering, thud)
245
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,534
-(meows)
-(gasps)
246
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,913
You can't keep pumping powerful drugs
247
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,499
into people who can't
even bite into a peach.
248
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,584
Mrs. Simpson, it's a fact.
249
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,420
If these seniors aren't medicated,
250
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,714
I can't binge-watch Boardwalk Empire.
251
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,465
Nucky dies at the end!
252
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,300
Yeah, well, screw you.
253
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,094
I'm going to report you to the state.
254
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,430
-I really don't care.
-(groans)
255
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,141
Wha... You broke me.
256
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,184
I'm going to say something
I've never said.
257
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,936
How can I help you?
258
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,566
Um, I'll wait outside
'cause they might make me do something.
259
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,526
I've changed my height,
I've changed my eyes,
260
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,027
my relationship status--
261
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,530
I-I don't know why
I put "unavailable" there.
262
00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:21,282
That certainly did not help matters.
263
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:25,369
But now it is time to change my voice...
264
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,747
(clears throat) Oyce... Voy...
265
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,416
(deep, sexy voice)
And the hoyvin and the flayvin
266
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,877
are now "hasta la vista, Frinky."
267
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,044
-Ooh.
-(hums)
268
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,421
Mm...
269
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,381
(chuckles softly)
270
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,384
(scoffs) I'm always next to the jerk
271
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,927
who comes here to meet women.
272
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,262
Hey, look, I get you.
273
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,556
You broke up with a long-time
high school boyfriend
274
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,224
'cause he just wasn't going anywhere.
275
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,059
Then you play the field,
but it's all losers
276
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,478
who just want to take from you.
277
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,564
Now you're just hoping beyond hope
for a man you can hug
278
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:56,233
who'll organize the wires behind your TV.
279
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,735
And believe you me, sweetheart,
280
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:00,321
I can organize every wire you have.
281
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,948
Now I'd like to show you a picture
of my new puppy.
282
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,785
{\an8}Yeah, his name's... (sneezes)
(normal voice) Logarithm.
283
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,745
{\an8}(clears throat)
(deep, sexy voice) I mean Larry.
284
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,414
Aw... Here's my number.
285
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,083
And to prove it's not a lie...
286
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,585
(cell phone ringing)
287
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:16,921
-Yeah, baby.
-(both giggling)
288
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,381
Call me!
289
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,594
Man, you're reading page three,
and the next thing you know,
290
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,930
you're finishing the last article, hmm.
291
00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:28,808
-(normal voice) I got all their numbers!
-Boy, you are smooth.
292
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,101
Carl smooth. Now I'd better get home.
293
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,438
And in case Marge is mad,
can I borrow that chip?
294
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,274
Oh, sure thing, pal. I have extras.
295
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,278
(sniffs)
296
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:44,448
-(low voice) Chitter, chitter, baby.
-(chitters)
297
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,622
I was so worried.
Where have you been?
298
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,123
No, don't tell me.
299
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,334
I don't want to hear
one of your stupid lies.
300
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,002
(deep voice) Marge, my dear,
301
00:13:57,086 --> 00:14:00,297
you are the pork chop with gravy on top,
302
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:04,385
and I'm the applesauce
that brings out your flavor.
303
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,220
Oh, Homie.
304
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,182
(Homer coughs)
305
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,142
(deep voice) What the hell was that?
306
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,395
(normal voice)
What the... You're not my wife.
307
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,564
Which I find intriguing.
308
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,899
Suit yourself. (laughs)
309
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,862
So, Professor,
tell me all about last night.
310
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,113
Dish-dish-dish!
311
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,906
Uh, yes, well, I can't talk now.
312
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,200
I'm on a date. And then I have a date.
313
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,703
{\an8}And then another date.
314
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:33,205
Is there such a thing
as too much of a good thing?
315
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,249
This is my cousin, Nookie Kwan.
316
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,334
I'm number one on the east side.
317
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,044
(quietly) Oh, gah-layvin.
318
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:45,426
-Have any of you seen John Frink?
-He ain't here.
319
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,804
But his hover-tronic
Frink-a-ma-car is parked outside.
320
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,390
Hey, if I say he ain't here,
he ain't here.
321
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:54,226
{\an8}Hey, Moe,
there's a rat floating in my beer.
322
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,061
It ain't there.
323
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,188
-(door closes)
-Thank you, my good man,
324
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,233
but, uh, I saw some
terrible things down there.
325
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,236
Like for one, Moe is pantsless.
326
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,196
Hey, it's apron-only Tuesday.
327
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,364
Oi...
328
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,116
You're a lucky guy, Frinky.
329
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:12,119
Got all the chicks you want
while I can't find a single woman
330
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:15,122
to put up with me
and my domesticated wolverine.
331
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:16,540
-Lucky Frink.
-I got nothin'.
332
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,208
Some guys get all the breaks.
333
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,710
Let me see here.
334
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,086
Uh, needy men...
335
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,588
plus lonely women...
336
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,548
I-I just bring them together!
337
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,216
Hey, that's some nice thinkin' there.
338
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,218
Now, how 'bout a beer and a baked potato.
339
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,720
Ah, that sounds nice.
340
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,472
We don't serve baked potatoes.
341
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,224
What happened?
342
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,477
Everyone is incredibly depressed.
343
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,441
-(groans)
-(sighs)
344
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:43,901
(electronic sigh)
345
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,236
I admit the hallucinations
were getting out of hand,
346
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,780
so I stopped the meds.
347
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:51,075
And hid them in the one place
they'll never look-- the library.
348
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,452
Well, there's one thing
you didn't count on--
349
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:57,581
I go there because it's the only room
in this building with heat.
350
00:15:58,582 --> 00:15:59,667
(Marge gasps)
351
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,586
Grampa, you're not allowed
to take dangerous drugs
352
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,421
unless they're in a little paper cup.
353
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:08,175
Listen here. Every night I watch
my roommate cry himself to sleep.
354
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,761
Yesterday I found out it was a mirror!
355
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,846
I'm gonna find my Mona!
356
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,139
(grunting)
357
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,476
There's a lesson here--
never visit Grampa.
358
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,229
(gasps)
359
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,608
My old car.
360
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,528
Oh, that's some fine hallucinatin'.
361
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:31,365
To the good ol' days
before polio was cured!
362
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,410
♪ ♪
363
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,257
Hot diggity!
364
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,467
It's America the way I liked it,
365
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,679
before we went to the moon
and discovered how boring it was.
366
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,598
(laughing)
367
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,810
I found the one happy moment
in 80 years of life,
368
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,437
and I ain't leavin' it.
369
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,522
Oh, this ain't right.
370
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,149
(snaps) That's better!
371
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,151
This ends right now!
372
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:10,362
She's not real. None of this is real.
373
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,365
Imaginary cigarettes?
Nonexistent candy?
374
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,909
(stammering)
Get outta here, Marge!
375
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,204
Unescorted women like you
aren't allowed in this era!
376
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,331
I'm not getting out, I'm cutting in.
377
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,708
You can't live here.
378
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,669
You have people
in the real world who love you.
379
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,005
Two are standing right over here.
380
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:30,674
If you live in the past,
you'll never have us.
381
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,844
And what's more precious to a grampa
than his grandchildren?
382
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,930
Particularly his grandson.
383
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:40,434
Aw, your sexist argument has won me over.
384
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,603
We women will have our day.
385
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,189
{\an8}-Attaboy.
-(groans)
386
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,565
Good-bye, Mona.
387
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,068
And good-bye,
pack of cigarettes for a quarter.
388
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,737
I think I'll miss you the most.
389
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,573
(gasps)
390
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:59,119
So what, uh, all that dancin' around
with me meant nothin'?
391
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:02,456
(chuckles)
Oh, I'll be back to steal a kiss later.
392
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,874
And as for you...
393
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:06,293
I've got more involved plans.
394
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,795
(groans)
395
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:12,091
So, Frink is finally
going to announce which woman
396
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:15,427
he's chosen to be with
at the Springfield Planetarium.
397
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,387
It's like an episode of The Bachelor,
398
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,099
but you drive there
and pay six dollars for parking.
399
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,018
Why are we both explaining it
if we all know what's happening?
400
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,562
I like talking to you.
401
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,238
(normal voice)
Ladies, please pay attention here.
402
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,906
(groaning, murmuring)
403
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:39,910
You see, I, uh... I thought
I was the only one who was lonely.
404
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,913
But I have learned
that loneliness is everywhere,
405
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,623
like superhero movies.
406
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,501
How many times can Batman begin?
407
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,420
I have reworked my algorithms
408
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,089
to make you not like me,
409
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:55,843
but to find the man that will
make each of you happiest, yes.
410
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,928
Uh, release the bachelors!
411
00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,097
I hope they enjoy it.
412
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,850
(gasping)
413
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,184
(impressed murmuring)
414
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,646
Duffman would love to be taught
415
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,607
how to speak in the first-person.
416
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:13,318
(chuckling) Everyone's paired up.
417
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,279
Almost everyone's paired up.
418
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,116
Professor, what about you?
Where's your match?
419
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:22,494
For me, my true love
is intellectual conquest,
420
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,705
the-the music of the spheres.
421
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,123
(owl hoots)
422
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:29,126
{\an8}Well, sometimes it's good
just to be alone.
423
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:37,467
♪ And now the purple dusk
of twilight time ♪
424
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:42,973
♪ Steals across the meadows of my heart ♪
425
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,349
("Stardust" continues)
426
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,810
♪ High up in the sky ♪
427
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:50,189
♪ The little stars climb... ♪
428
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:53,150
ELDERLY WOMAN:
What are you doing with my daughter?!
429
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,527
Why did I build a mother?
430
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:56,987
Oi, goy-vick.
431
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,369
Wait a minute,
how come we're all back here?
432
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,705
I flushed the rest of the pills
down the toilet.
433
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:09,333
Looks like they made their way
to the reservoir.
434
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:12,502
-We should really try to wake up.
-Are you kidding?
435
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,172
There's a full buffet,
and Dean Martin's here.
436
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,299
Eh, that's right, pally.
Here, try the shrimp.
437
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:20,135
Some have gone bad,
but, uh, most are fine.
438
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,637
(slurps)
439
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,146
(theme music playing)
440
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,142
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
441
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,940
Subtitled by A. Vandelay