1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,214 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:09,134 {\an8}♪ ♪ 3 00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:11,136 {\an8}(snoring) 4 00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,554 {\an8}Hmm? 5 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,556 {\an8}(grunts) 6 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,440 {\an8}(engine cuts off) 7 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,733 {\an8}Hey, Flanders. 8 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,609 {\an8}Gas up your leaf blower much? 9 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,278 {\an8}(gasps) Chickens? 10 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,238 {\an8}Since when do you have chickens? 11 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,614 {\an8}Oh, about six months. 12 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,949 {\an8}Well, they've been driving me crazy. 13 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,617 {\an8}-Get rid of them. -(chuckling) Oh. 14 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,120 {\an8}Don't let these feathery fellas ruffle your feathers, fella. 15 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,288 {\an8}Chickens. 16 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:41,291 {\an8}You have yourself a perfectly good coop, and that's what you keep in it? 17 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,001 {\an8}(whistles) 18 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,337 {\an8}Oh, Homer, surely you know 19 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,339 {\an8}there's nothing tastier than a fresh-laid egg. 20 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:52,343 {\an8}-How do you want 'em, boys? -BOTH: Coddled! Coddled! Coddled! 21 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,970 {\an8}(chuckles) 22 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,765 {\an8}What is it about boys and their coddled eggs? 23 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:57,932 {\an8}Hmm. 24 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,684 {\an8}Mm-hmm. 25 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:00,894 {\an8}Hmm? 26 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,023 {\an8}Whoa, so orange. 27 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,442 {\an8}♪ ♪ 28 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,110 {\an8}I'm sorry, I can't eat these. 29 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,446 {\an8}Flanders has freshly-pooped eggs, 30 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:15,825 {\an8}orange as a sunset over a field of ripe Doritos, 31 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,118 {\an8}while these-- 32 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,121 {\an8}Look, I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking-- 33 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,082 {\an8}store eggs are yellow. 34 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,835 {\an8}They're yellow eggs, Marge. Yellow. 35 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,880 {\an8}Why do you always think about what you don't have? 36 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,883 {\an8}Has anyone ever thought about what they do have? 37 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,676 {\an8}-Have you? -Not that much. 38 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,053 {\an8}-Have you? -Nope! 39 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,513 {\an8}Have you? 40 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:40,975 {\an8}Boy, I won't live long enough to teach you about sex, 41 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:44,562 {\an8}but I'll be damned if I don't show you how to steal eggs. 42 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,648 ♪ ♪ 43 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,235 {\an8}Okay, son, stay sharp in there. 44 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,237 {\an8}If chickens are known for two things, 45 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,072 {\an8}it's bravery and intelligence. 46 00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,953 This is what we're after. 47 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,665 (grunting) 48 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,918 -HOMER: Got it. -BART: I got one. 49 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,129 -Hurry, fat-ass! -(chickens clucking) 50 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,763 (both moaning) 51 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,932 How can idiots say there's no God 52 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:23,268 when a species that evolved from dinosaurs 53 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,937 feeds us their unfertilized babies? 54 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,774 Oh, if I could lay eggs like these, I'd never leave my bedroom. 55 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,944 {\an8}(both grunt) 56 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,780 -(yips) -(screams) The farmer! 57 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,199 Homer Simpson, I am going to enjoy 58 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:41,452 finding it in my heart to forgive you for this. 59 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,624 -(both groan) -Well, there's no getting past that. 60 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,960 We may not be able to steal Flanders' eggs, 61 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,087 but we can steal his idea. 62 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,464 {\an8}You mean get our own chickens, feed them, 63 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,216 {\an8}love them, and eat their eggs? 64 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,968 Check. Mate. 65 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,636 (squawks) 66 00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,971 (hammering) 67 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:05,310 Urban poultry farming is a great way to reduce our carbon footprint. 68 00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,312 Or maybe increase it. I'm not sure. 69 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,314 But they're so cute! 70 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,648 Now, don't get attached. 71 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,984 I'm about to cut them open to scoop out the eggs. 72 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,485 No, look! 73 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,987 They're already laying. 74 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,324 Now, what lays bacon? 75 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:23,494 One... two... eggs! 76 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,497 -(moaning) -(moaning) 77 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:27,874 -Delicious. -Delicious. 78 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,043 (groans) These don't taste right. 79 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:33,546 You're crazy, these are the best eggs I've ever eaten. 80 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,050 No. No, something is missing. 81 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,801 Hmm. (slurps) 82 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,345 (gargles) 83 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,014 (inhales) 84 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:45,934 Hmm, Bart's right. 85 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,229 They're not as good as the eggs we stole from Flanders. 86 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:53,274 The eggs... we stole... from Flanders! 87 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,943 You don't think they tasted so great 88 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,945 because they were stolen, do you? 89 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,363 Only one way to find out. 90 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,658 -(door opens) -FLANDERS: My potato chips! 91 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,786 {\an8}Okay, first, a chip from the control bag. 92 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,705 {\an8}Now the stolen bag. 93 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,708 {\an8}(both moaning) 94 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,836 {\an8}It's true. Theft equals flavor. 95 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,964 -(Homer grunting) -(Bart snickering) 96 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,218 Ah, forget it. Just take 'em. 97 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:22,053 You can't just give them to us! 98 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,222 They only taste good if we steal them! 99 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,975 -Keep chasing! -It improves the flavor! 100 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,060 Sure, sure, whatever works for you. 101 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:31,145 (Homer and Bart laughing) 102 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,524 I guess we don't need our chickens anymore. 103 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,402 Don't worry, I've already found a research facility 104 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,070 that will raise them humanely. 105 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,281 I wasn't worried about that. 106 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,366 ♪ ♪ 107 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:50,707 (whispers loudly) If you're going to eat the chickens, don't tell the girl. 108 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:54,127 Oh, no, these chickens are here to advance the cause of science. 109 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,840 (Simpsons oohing and ahing) 110 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,259 HOMER: Look at all those lab coats. 111 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:06,639 At Exploration Incorporated, 112 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,517 our mission is to help humanity make the next big leap. 113 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,185 That's so fascinating. 114 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,979 When did you incorporate? 115 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:15,481 We are preparing to launch the first privately-funded, 116 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,025 manned mission to Mars. 117 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,694 (gasps) You're going to Mars? 118 00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:21,029 That's incredible. 119 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,363 Uh, yes. 120 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,074 How do you plan to solve the problem of eyeball explosion 121 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,701 when you take off your space helmet? 122 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,703 Uh, you leave your helmet on. 123 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,580 Hmm, these guys seem legit. 124 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,082 This video will explain our revolutionary vision. 125 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,503 ♪ ♪ 126 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,756 NARRATOR: Human beings are explorers. 127 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,260 It's what we do. 128 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,387 It's who we are. 129 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,182 But since our world holds no more secrets, 130 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,601 we must journey... to Mars. 131 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,437 Government agencies like NASA say it will be decades 132 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,773 before we set foot on the Red Planet. 133 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,733 At Exploration Incorporated, 134 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,568 we're working hard to establish 135 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:02,487 a human settlement on Mars 136 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,447 ten years from today. 137 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,449 {\an8}Soon a select group of colonists 138 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,117 {\an8}will leave Earth forever 139 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,120 {\an8}and become the first residents of another world. 140 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,539 {\an8}Will you be one of them? 141 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,469 Exploration Incorporated. 142 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,471 Never stop exploring. 143 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,639 (gasps) 144 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,891 HOMER: What about those Mars nutjobs? 145 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:35,061 Who wants to take a one-way trip to a barren, lifeless rock? 146 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,979 Yeah, in a couple years, 147 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,274 we'll have a perfectly good barren, lifeless rock right here. 148 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,651 This guy gets it. 149 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,028 Well, this mission really gives me hope. 150 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,198 I'm tired of nothing but bad news about the future. 151 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,200 Yes, but to travel to another planet, 152 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,868 knowing you can never come back, 153 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,995 you'd have to be pretty sad. 154 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,206 Aniston sad. 155 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,291 I'm not sad, I'm inspired. 156 00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,461 -That's why I volunteered this afternoon. -What?! 157 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,963 The mission leaves in ten years. 158 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,966 I'll be 18, and I'm going to Mars. 159 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,300 No way, young lady. 160 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,219 We cannot afford to send you to Mars. 161 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,721 -It's free. -Cheaper than college. 162 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,557 -No. -No! 163 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:19,856 You volunteered to go to Mars and leave your family? 164 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,065 Forever? 165 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,067 This mission could save humanity. 166 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:26,320 What if I was the first person to set foot on another world? 167 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,031 I'd never be able to hug my daughter again. 168 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,324 They thought of that. 169 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:34,120 They give a virtual hug machine to every family back home. 170 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:37,248 That does look pretty snuggly. (gasps) No! 171 00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:39,417 I think this could be my true purpose. 172 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:42,587 Just let me try out. They might not even pick me. 173 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,088 I mean, I'd pick me, but... 174 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,757 Absolutely not. You are grounded. 175 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,093 You are confined to this planet. 176 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,428 And its moon. 177 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:53,139 (both growling) 178 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:55,850 HOMER: Uh, honey? 179 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,935 A word before you continue parenting? 180 00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,937 What? 181 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,398 In all my years of living with the female species, 182 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,691 I've learned one thing. 183 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,943 When they want to do something totally insane, 184 00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,697 your only move is to support them 100%. 185 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,782 Oh, come on, that's ridiculous. 186 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,451 Really? Have you ever done anything 187 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,953 just because someone told you not to? 188 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,291 You cannot marry Homer Simpson. 189 00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:22,210 I forbid it. 190 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,879 -Hmm. -And now you got me. 191 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,964 (humming) 192 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,718 Oh, my gosh. 193 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,762 We both know Lisa's not going to Mars. 194 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,764 It's just a little girl's fantasy. 195 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,016 But if you forbid someone from doing something, 196 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,351 they'll want to do it more. 197 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,353 So we should just pretend we're cool 198 00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,688 with our daughter abandoning us forever? 199 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:43,940 Exactly. 200 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:47,693 It's an old relationship move I call "turning into the skid." 201 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,362 If you just play along, 202 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:53,407 sooner or later Lisa will lose interest in her terrible idea. 203 00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:56,577 You haven't used that trick on me, have you? 204 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,204 No, no. 205 00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,414 I learned it from observing other marriages. 206 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,292 Ones less fantastic than ours. 207 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,629 (garbage disposal whirring) 208 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,674 Hmm, "turning into the skid." 209 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,511 You know, I looked at a map, 210 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,347 and Mars is just one planet over. 211 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:20,268 If you really want to try out for this mission, I support you. 212 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,061 Really? Thanks, Mom! 213 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,938 If they choose me to be a colonist, 214 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,858 I could make jazz the dominant music form of a whole new planet. 215 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,945 That's exactly where jazz belongs. 216 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:36,033 Way to turn into the skid, baby. 217 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,536 Now watch Lisa lose interest in Mars, 218 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,204 just as sure as you gave up 219 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,540 on opening that G-rated comedy club. 220 00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:45,209 I thought Gentle Jollies was a great idea. 221 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,212 Oh, not great. Amazing. 222 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,548 Hmm, now that I think about it, 223 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,967 that idea did have a lot of problems. 224 00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:57,388 ♪ ♪ 225 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:58,723 Greetings, candidates. 226 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,725 The testing that begins today will determine 227 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,811 which of you have the necessary skills to thrive on Mars. 228 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,772 Think of how satisfying it will feel to stand in the Valles Marineris 229 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,317 and thunder-chug a Blue Bronco energy drink. 230 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,193 -I'm sorry, Blue Bronco? -Wait, thunder-chug? 231 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:14,572 Blue Bronco is just one of this mission's many corporate partners. 232 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,575 Because this is a privately funded entrepreneurial mission, 233 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:20,578 we've teamed up with some of America's most exciting brands. 234 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,580 We're talking Mega-Charge Batteries, 235 00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,665 Fantasy-Lunatics.com, 236 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,251 Trudge-Rite Work Boots, Draft-Pigs. 237 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,337 And who here likes Fig Glutens? 238 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,255 (excited chattering) 239 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:35,635 What? The fig seeds get caught in my adult braces. 240 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:40,681 Oh, I should not have given away my dog, man. 241 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:46,228 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 242 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,230 Oh, it's hurting my... (gibbers) 243 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,608 Oi! I can't feel my... (gibbers) 244 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,693 (chickens clucking) 245 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,365 Principal Skinner, what brings you on this mission 246 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,950 to make mankind a two-planet species? 247 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,911 Mars is the ultimate field trip. 248 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,289 And all they sell at the gift shop is immortality. 249 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,957 Also, I'm drowning in debt. 250 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,961 Well, I hope to establish a planet of perfect equality-ment. 251 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,172 On Mars, you are my servant. 252 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,716 Uh, well, well, either way is good, really. 253 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,011 And then, finally, 254 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,013 I got to spend some quality time 255 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,682 with the oxygen reclaimers. 256 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,643 You must've felt like the belle of the ball. 257 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,145 You said if I supported Lisa's crazy idea, 258 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,814 she'd lose interest. 259 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:33,401 Oh, Marge. You'll never understand the female mind. 260 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,277 We're just getting started. 261 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,696 What more can we do? 262 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,323 I've utilized my male mind to come up with 263 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,033 a plan so supportive, 264 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:44,286 Lisa will never want to do anything again. 265 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,414 ♪ ♪ 266 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,960 What are you guys doing here? 267 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,003 We're trying out for Mars, too. 268 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:56,298 We were so inspired by you being inspired. 269 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,801 A family unit could be perfect for this mission. 270 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,804 NASA would never have the guts to shoot a baby into space. 271 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,349 And your father is a former astronaut. What an honor. 272 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,810 Last time, I almost killed everybody. 273 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,228 And what did you learn from that? 274 00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,730 Lessons, I guess. 275 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:14,191 LISA: Okay. Mom, Dad, and Bart don't want to go to Mars. 276 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:18,571 So this must be some sort of mind-game reverse super-fake-out. 277 00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:19,947 HOMER: Poor Lisa. 278 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,991 She is so faked out. 279 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,702 LISA: And all I have to do is be patient. 280 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,747 Pretty soon, they'll get sick of this and quit. 281 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,374 HOMER: I'm getting sick of this. I think I'll quit soon. 282 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,877 LISA: It's just a matter of time. 283 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,380 HOMER: I wonder which one of these two guys is the one I quit to? 284 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,717 PAUL: We will now test your ability to handle close confinement. 285 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,471 For the next week, you'll be living in the Martian Habitat Simulator. 286 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,476 I'll man this station. 287 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,019 (zips door closed) 288 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,562 (zips door open) 289 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,897 (zips door closed) 290 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:53,981 {\an8}Okay, Mom. 291 00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:56,942 {\an8}Since you're so excited to go to Mars, 292 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,903 {\an8}you'll be thrilled to start on 293 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:02,406 {\an8}the hab's daily maintenance procedures. 294 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:06,452 {\an8}"Nutrition Zone Sterilization Sequence." 295 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,871 {\an8}(gasps) That's just kitchen cleanup. 296 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,915 {\an8}-Fun! -No, no, no. 297 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,583 Procedures aren't "fun." 298 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,461 Sure, if you call them "procedures," they're a bore, 299 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,546 but if you think of them as "chores," 300 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,423 they can be a blast! 301 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,550 (grunts) They're not chores! 302 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,843 They're science! 303 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,428 Ooh, there's even directions 304 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,555 on how to properly clean this binder. 305 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,516 (humming happily) 306 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,937 Oh, no. You cannot like this more than me. 307 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,022 (both humming) 308 00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:36,190 (Lisa hums louder) 309 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,028 {\an8}Dinner is served! 310 00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,072 {\an8}I rehydrated it with love. 311 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,032 {\an8}And recycled toilet water. 312 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,576 (Homer and Bart moaning) 313 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,411 So good, Marge! 314 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:53,374 Well, today I tested nitrogen levels in our atmosphere. 315 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,837 -They were the same as yesterday. -More toilet carrots, please! 316 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,172 (annoyed groan) 317 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,715 {\an8}HOMER: Can't sleep. 318 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,801 (grunting) 319 00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:06,345 My sleeping pod's too small. 320 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:07,972 They have an expansion mode 321 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,599 for morbidly obese astronauts. 322 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,226 (grunts) Hmm. 323 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,728 I know we're just here to fake-support our daughter, 324 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,814 but you're pretty good at this space junk. 325 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,524 Moms spend their whole lives 326 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,151 obsessing over unlikely catastrophes. 327 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,904 In space, that's what you're supposed to do. 328 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,073 {\an8}(humming happily) 329 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,951 ♪ ♪ 330 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,036 (whistling) 331 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,209 (humming) 332 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,630 (sighs) 333 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,507 (grunts) 334 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,508 (pants) 335 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,594 (grunting) 336 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,263 (exhales) 337 00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,015 {\an8}BARRY: The hab study is complete. 338 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:52,850 To all the male participants, 339 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,476 your monumental incompetence 340 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,478 has sullied and cheapened space forever. 341 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,230 -Now get out. -Good. 342 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,566 It's a stupid idea, and I hope everyone dies. 343 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,904 -HOMER: You're letting the Martians in! -(Comic Book Guy exhales) 344 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,488 BART: I'm keeping the jumpsuit. 345 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,532 Marge and Lisa, congratulations. 346 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,367 You've both passed with flying colors 347 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,953 and will be named finalists in our astronaut search. 348 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,371 Marge, you're a revelation. 349 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,541 Most of our candidates are of the egghead loner variety. 350 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,710 Bookworms, teacher's pets, 351 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,837 friendless middle children, that sort of thing. 352 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,130 (growls) 353 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,007 But you display an amazing ability 354 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,551 to perform repetitive tasks without getting bored. 355 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,845 Even our robotic arm gets a little cranky. 356 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,056 -Ow! -That's two, Lorraine! 357 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,390 (whirs softly) 358 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,684 May I talk to you in private, please? 359 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:43,400 Admit it-- the only reason you're here is to support me 360 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,110 until I lose interest and quit. 361 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,779 Well, I'm not going anywhere, 362 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,238 so you can quit. 363 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,366 Maybe I don't want to quit. 364 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:54,745 Do you realize what a big deal it is to be a space colonist? 365 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,289 Yes! That's why I want to do it! 366 00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,751 I think you don't like that I'm just as good at Mars as you. 367 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,378 Maybe even better. 368 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,879 Ha! Hardly. 369 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,297 All you are is a... 370 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,883 a stay-at-hab space wife! 371 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,051 Hmm. 372 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:12,388 Well, it looks like the ego has landed. 373 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,974 You're the last person I would ever want to go to Mars with. 374 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,433 In ten years. 375 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,810 That's too bad, 376 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,187 because I'm going with you. 377 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,480 In ten years. 378 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,736 LISA: On Mars, that would be a door slam! 379 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,535 Sometimes I feel like Lisa has no respect for me. 380 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,286 I know, I know. 381 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,038 I'm finally good at something 382 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,332 and she has to make it into a competition. 383 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,209 That must be really hard for you. 384 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:43,460 It is. 385 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,088 I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 386 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,589 Thank you. 387 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,967 Mom's always trying to hold me back! 388 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,885 I know, I know. 389 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,263 I can't be her little girl forever. 390 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,098 That must be really hard for you. 391 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,224 It is! 392 00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,143 I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 393 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,352 Thank you. 394 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,982 That listening-to-women junk you taught me really works. 395 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,067 The trick is in the nodding. 396 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,821 Dad, after seeing Mom and Lisa go at it, 397 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,323 I'm glad our relationship is about physical abuse, 398 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,867 not psychological. 399 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,535 Me, too, boy. 400 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:17,745 Aw. 401 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,080 This press conference was originally scheduled 402 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,750 to introduce our ten Mars mission finalists. 403 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,335 However, our rivals at Space Colony One, 404 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,004 a division of Pepperidge Farms, 405 00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:30,466 just announced that their Mars rocket is nearing completion. 406 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,676 We made a solemn promise to Fig Glutens 407 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,928 that they would be the first cookie on Mars. 408 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,849 Therefore, we have moved up our launch date from 2026 to... 409 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,101 -Thursday. -(gasping) 410 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,270 -Thursday? -This Thursday? 411 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,522 Are you all ready to be a part of history? 412 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,316 I wanted to be someone 413 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,735 who's bravely going to Mars eventually. 414 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,862 I haven't used my Open Table dining points! 415 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,739 I'm still very much an alcoholic. 416 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,827 Uh, I-I guess we should leave, too. 417 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,746 -I knew it! -What? 418 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,873 This has all been an elaborate charade. 419 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:05,042 You never had the guts to go to Mars. 420 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,002 Oh, I have the guts. 421 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,380 I once went to a rock concert by myself in the rain. 422 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,049 It was Loverboy. 423 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,176 Then let's go. To Mars. 424 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,928 Yeah, let's go! 425 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,262 To Mars. 426 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,388 -Hmph. -Hmph. 427 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,601 Ladies and gentlemen, mankind's first residents of Mars, 428 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,686 powered by Simmer-Time Dinner Sauces. 429 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,397 Dinner time is Simmer-Time. For sauce. 430 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,899 (cheering) 431 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,442 They're leaving in a week? 432 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:31,902 Mom's my only good parent. 433 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,821 And Lisa's my only good kid! 434 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,740 Why won't they admit that neither of them actually wants to go to Mars? 435 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,408 I'm not giving up yet. 436 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,994 There's got to be a limit to their stubbornness, right? 437 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,330 FLIGHT DIRECTOR: T-minus one minute to launch. 438 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,207 HOMER: D'oh! 439 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,754 Here we go! I guess. 440 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,882 Yep. We're doing this, apparently. 441 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,884 I'm sorry I doubted you, Mom. 442 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,512 There's no one I would rather go to Mars with. 443 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,597 I love you, sweetie. 444 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:01,932 I love you, too. 445 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,768 I don't want to go! 446 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:07,604 This is the stupidest idea we ever had! 447 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,107 Abort launch! 448 00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,608 That's a negative. 449 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,694 I think you're forgetting the motto of Blue Bronco-- 450 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:16,780 -"Let's do this thing." -FLIGHT DIRECTOR: 12... 11... 451 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,282 HOMER: This is not happening. 452 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,909 -Do you know how to run the dishwasher? -Of course not! 453 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,411 Maybe we can use paper plates! 454 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,204 Where the hell do we get those? 455 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,539 -Mom, no! -Marge, no! 456 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:28,959 FLIGHT DIRECTOR: ...three... two... one... 457 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,044 ignition! 458 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,798 It's not a real rocket. It's the outside of a real rocket. 459 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,092 We did plan to build a real rocket. 460 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,344 And that's one thing they can never take away from us. 461 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,430 That plan is our legacy. 462 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,266 Then why did you move up the launch if you knew it was fake? 463 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,143 To inspire the next generation. 464 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,812 And to provide a distraction while we drove away. 465 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:52,024 -Then why are you still here? -Our car wouldn't start. 466 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:58,614 Mom, doesn't it frighten you that we almost went to Mars 467 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,365 out of sheer stubbornness? 468 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,619 That's what a mother-daughter relationship is, sweetie. 469 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,538 A series of near-fatal emotional standoffs. 470 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,832 Okay, but it doesn't have to be that way. 471 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,667 Surely we can learn from this. 472 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,252 One day, we'll figure it out. 473 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,546 On this planet or another. 474 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,673 {\an8}♪ ♪ 475 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,927 (chickens clucking) 476 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,387 It's my life! 477 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:25,098 If I want to leave Mars and move to Venus, 478 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,767 you can't stop me! 479 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:27,893 (annoyed grunt) 480 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,187 Mom's always trying to hold me back. 481 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,939 I know, I know. 482 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,941 I can't be her little girl forever. 483 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:35,859 That must be really hard for you. 484 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,027 It is. 485 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,613 Nod-Bot is so sorry you have to go through this. 486 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:40,989 Thank you. 487 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,075 ♪ ♪ 488 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,877 {\an8}BARRY: Well, that's one for the win column. 489 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:56,588 {\an8}PAUL: I can't wait to find out what we're gonna do next. 490 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,090 {\an8}BARRY: We should fix racism. 491 00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,592 {\an8}PAUL: Racism is bad for business. 492 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,303 {\an8}BARRY: And that is racism's fatal flaw. 493 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,055 {\an8}PAUL: I'm thinking of an app 494 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:07,599 {\an8}that would use the best algorithms in the world. 495 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,643 {\an8}BARRY: Algorithms like that would be great 496 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:11,353 {\an8}for this idea I've been back-burnering. 497 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:13,063 {\an8}It's an ad-supported restaurant. 498 00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,524 {\an8}You get free food, but you have to watch ads. 499 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,442 {\an8}If you want a hamburger, you watch five ads. 500 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:20,153 {\an8}Tater Tots are, like, three ads. Have you tried these things? 501 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,030 {\an8}PAUL: I've heard about them, actually, I didn't actually... 502 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,491 {\an8}-BARRY: They're good. They're really good. -PAUL: I love everything you just said, 503 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,576 {\an8}but what if it was a barbershop? 504 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,287 {\an8}BARRY: Might be a good idea... 505 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:31,123 {\an8}if you're interested in changing the world! 506 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 507 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,965 Subtitled by A. Vandelay