1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,171
<i>-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>
-MILHOUSE: Whee!

2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,214
Uh-oh!

3
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,928
(exclaiming)

4
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,268
(school bell ringing)

5
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,022
(Barney belches)

6
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,692
-(whistle blows)
-(yells)

7
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,906
(beeping)

8
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,830
(playing the blues)

9
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,543
(playing the blues)

10
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,630
D'oh!

11
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(tires screeching)

12
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,425
(grunts)

13
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,719
(fanfare plays)

14
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,151
(dramatic music playing)

15
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,577
Hey. How ya doin' there?

16
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,165
{\an8}(both grunting)

17
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,585
{\an8}(murmuring angrily)

18
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,713
{\an8}(grunting furiously)

19
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,592
{\an8}(humming)

20
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{\an8}(gasps)

21
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,431
{\an8}(humming)

22
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,933
{\an8}(squawks)

23
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{\an8}Ah.

24
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{\an8}(irritated murmurs)

25
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,647
{\an8}(gibbering)

26
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{\an8}(reluctantly agreeing noise)

27
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{\an8}Ook.

28
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{\an8}(grunting)

29
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{\an8}Ow.

30
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,706
{\an8}I brought fried chicken!

31
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,416
{\an8}-Biscuit!
-First dibs!

32
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,918
{\an8}Homer, you have to do more.

33
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,169
{\an8}Ook?!

34
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,130
{\an8}I'm getting tired of your ooks.

35
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,048
{\an8}I can't do this alone.

36
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,591
{\an8}Where's your chore list?

37
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,051
{\an8}Oh, I'm taking care of that!

38
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,178
{\an8}It's laminated.

39
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,596
{\an8}And to make sure I do it...

40
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,722
{\an8}Hmm?

41
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,724
{\an8}(groans)

42
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,812
{\an8}I've never seen this.

43
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,189
{\an8}It must've been left
by some previous owner.

44
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{\an8}Holy moly!

45
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,069
{\an8}A valuable antique car!

46
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{\an8}This is the find of a lifetime!

47
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,157
{\an8}Oh, it's a stick.

48
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,785
{\an8}(grunting)

49
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,328
{\an8}(engine starts)

50
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,123
{\an8}Dad, shouldn't we see
who owns the car?

51
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,750
{\an8}Now, sweetie,
according to the ancient law of trover,

52
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:51,754
{\an8}abandoned property passes
to the subsequent landowner.

53
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,590
{\an8}Man, ever since you watched
<i>Medieval Tomb Robbers</i>

54
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,133
{\an8}on the History Channel,

55
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,093
{\an8}everything with you
is trover, trover, trover.

56
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{\an8}Boy, either show me a writ of replevin
or pipe down.

57
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{\an8}<i>♪ ♪</i>

58
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,018
{\an8}(tires screech)

59
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:08,271
{\an8}<i>♪ Chubby dude in a tiny car ♪</i>

60
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,899
{\an8}<i>♪ Making friends both near and far ♪</i>

61
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{\an8}<i>♪ In this little town</i>
<i>he's a shooting star ♪</i>

62
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,947
{\an8}<i>♪ That's a chubby dude ♪</i>

63
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:22,869
{\an8}<i>♪ In a tiny car ♪</i>

64
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{\an8}<i>♪ From Shelbyville to Zanzibar ♪</i>

65
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,375
{\an8}<i>♪ It doesn't matter where you are ♪</i>

66
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:34,297
{\an8}<i>♪ There's not a thing that can com-par ♪</i>

67
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:41,346
{\an8}<i>♪ To a chubby dude in a tiny car ♪</i>

68
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,558
Aw, the needle's on "E."

69
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,519
Uh, I got something
that works as gasoline.

70
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,564
(bell dinging)

71
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,819
<i>♪ ♪</i>

72
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:57,904
(honks jauntily)

73
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,031
-Daddy's home!
-Daddy's home!

74
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,532
Hello, children.

75
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,993
For you, daughter,
a little ragdoll.

76
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,079
For you, son, a Florida orange.

77
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:09,332
You know, there's something
truly amazing about you, Dad.

78
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,125
Everything's an adventure.

79
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,543
You go to clean the garage,

80
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,337
and you find a classic car.

81
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,965
Yes, fortune favors the bald.

82
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,633
Now for the best part:

83
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,511
sharing my great day with your mom.

84
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,180
(hums, spits)

85
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,642
Well, if it isn't my favorite gal
in my favorite room.

86
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,519
I'm glad you had a good day.

87
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,937
You don't sound glad.

88
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,355
I'm not glad.

89
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,940
But you said you were glad.

90
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,067
You need to read between the lines.

91
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,194
Why?
There's just white space there.

92
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,445
(sighs deeply)

93
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,863
(voice breaking)
I'm sorry, Homie.

94
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,157
Your life is full of fun surprises.

95
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,451
My life sucks.

96
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,995
(sobbing)

97
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,454
<i>HOMER: Uh-oh. Tissues?</i>

98
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,039
(sniffs)

99
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,416
Oh...

100
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,876
Well, would it help
if I rubbed your back?

101
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,212
Huh? Eh? Uh?

102
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,548
Your hands smell like steering wheel.

103
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,924
(sniffs)
Hmm.

104
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,386
Poor Marge.
What do I do?

105
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,762
Help me, universe!

106
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,014
(doorbell rings)

107
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,350
-Jay Leno?
-Hiya!

108
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,770
I was just passing
in my 1973 Citroen DS Pallas

109
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,772
when I saw that classic Morgan

110
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,607
with the original wood dash interior.

111
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,276
Man, I-I'd like to buy it.

112
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,695
You'll have to pay cash
with no questions asked.

113
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:21,988
How much you want?

114
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,406
I said no questions!

115
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,829
Don't worry,
this car is a piece of art,

116
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,331
going where it will be admired.

117
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:34,417
To my secret underground
car depository!

118
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,880
(groaning)

119
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,715
(sighs)

120
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,759
It's time for me to do
what I do best:

121
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,344
prolong this marriage.

122
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,220
You wanted a good surprise,
Marge?

123
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,555
You've got it.

124
00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,766
We are going on the trip
of our lives.

125
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,184
Really? Where?

126
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,477
(doorbell rings)

127
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,853
I'll be right back.

128
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:56,898
Let your imagination run wild.

129
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,191
Hey, Homer.

130
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,068
-And you are...?
-Jay Leno.

131
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,070
Hey, do you still have that money
I gave you for the car?

132
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,154
Sure do.

133
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:04,989
Well, uh,
I'm gonna need it back.

134
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,824
But I just promised my wife...

135
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,118
Homer,
I've collected hundreds of antique cars

136
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,287
on the theory that they don't
make 'em like they used to.

137
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,705
Well, I just bought this new Toyota.

138
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,374
Turns out it's much better.

139
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,542
I can go to the store
and make it all the way back.

140
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,877
It doesn't break down once.

141
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,797
-Imagine that? Geez.
-Yeah.

142
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,881
Here's your money back.

143
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,466
Can I have my car?

144
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,967
Unfortunately, when I went to register it,

145
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,302
it wasn't your car.

146
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,553
So the-the police took it.

147
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,973
<i>♪ Chubby cop in a tiny car ♪</i>

148
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,102
<i>♪ Going to the nearest cop bar... ♪</i>

149
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,062
-Well, see ya.
-(car lock beeps)

150
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,980
Unbelievable! It opens from here.

151
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,191
(laughs)
The age we live in!

152
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,610
I've decided where I want to go.

153
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,862
Um, ooh, the trolley at the mall?

154
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,989
No, Paris!

155
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,368
The most romantic city in the world.

156
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,453
(groans)

157
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,704
Paris?

158
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,331
What am I gonna do?

159
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,707
(beeps)

160
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,337
A travel agent!

161
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,673
Oh, thank God you're not obsolete yet.

162
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,591
And a good morning to you, sir.

163
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,009
Here's the problem.

164
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,761
I've disappointed my wife
so many times,

165
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,929
I can't do it once more.

166
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,389
I see.

167
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:14,392
So I have to take her
and our three kids to Paris.

168
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,854
But here's the challenge:
I have no money.

169
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,939
Uh, let me see what I can do.

170
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,484
Anything coming up?

171
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,819
No, it's not plugged in.

172
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,821
The noise helps me think.

173
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,156
All right.

174
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,701
There is a way...
but it is a tad risky.

175
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,620
Would you consider
being a casual courier?

176
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,957
You mean not like the fancy guys
that ride the bicycles...

177
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,417
Let me explain.

178
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,043
The mob--
I mean, the courier company--

179
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,920
will pay airfare and hotel,

180
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,715
and all you have to do
is deliver a package.

181
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:49,302
But... you cannot look
inside the package.

182
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,722
Sure. For Marge, I will make
the supreme sacrifice

183
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,391
of not doing something.

184
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,520
(humming)

185
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,230
That's the "package."

186
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,482
What package?

187
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,733
The package you're delivering.

188
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,026
Ooh.

189
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,986
And the clients
have asked me once more

190
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,780
to remind you not to look inside.

191
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,159
Hey, buddy,
I didn't start doing this yesterday!

192
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,328
I started doing it right now.

193
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,080
Uh... the package?

194
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,792
Hmm.

195
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,963
Paris! I can't believe it!

196
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,131
Homer Simpson,

197
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,467
just when I think you have
nothing left to offer,

198
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:33,513
you whisk me to the birthplace
of existentialism.

199
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,389
Now, if you'll excuse me,

200
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,058
it's an 11-hour flight,

201
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,101
and I have to visit the "Louvre."

202
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,811
(chuckles)

203
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,064
(Marge humming)

204
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,900
(annoyed chatter)

205
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,235
MAN:
Can't see the movie now.

206
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,903
<i>HOMER:</i>
<i>Everything's great.</i>

207
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,696
<i>Absolutely great.</i>

208
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,240
<i>Yet, there's something</i>
<i>in that briefcase,</i>

209
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,699
<i>and it could get us in trouble.</i>

210
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:54,992
<i>My mind's running wild.</i>

211
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,078
<i>And you're not supposed</i>
<i>to run on an airplane.</i>

212
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,539
<i>Oh, that's it,</i>
<i>I have to open the briefcase.</i>

213
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,878
(shrieks)

214
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,879
(hiss)

215
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,757
Oh, what a cute, blue sna...

216
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,342
(muffled grunts)

217
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,057
(hyperventilating)

218
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,225
Okay.

219
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:22,395
<i>(thinking) First thing, I gotta figure out</i>
<i>if it can breathe in there.</i>

220
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,482
D'oh!

221
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,359
Hmm. Better try the other eye.

222
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,569
D'oh!

223
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,362
Okay, maybe the first eye again.

224
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:32,655
What the...?

225
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:33,948
I found it.

226
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,908
It's an Amazon Blue Constrictor.

227
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:39,579
Ooh, it's a very rare
and endangered species.

228
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,582
Oh, the trip of a lifetime.

229
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,375
(sighs)

230
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,502
(whispering)
I can't break her heart.

231
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,546
(whispering)
Well, you can't let anything bad

232
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,172
happen to that snake.

233
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,507
I promise.

234
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,467
And you have to promise
to preserve

235
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,596
another endangered species...
my marriage.

236
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,306
I promise.

237
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,892
Oh, for the first time,
a snake has ruined paradise.

238
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,527
I'll get the luggage.

239
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,279
Marge, you and the kids grab a cab.

240
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,364
A Parisian cab.

241
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,366
(French accent)
Taxi. Taxi.

242
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,452
(giggles)
Taxi.

243
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,039
Are you casual courier
Homer Simpson?

244
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,123
I am.

245
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,708
Here is your money.

246
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,501
Finally. I've been
here for two minutes.

247
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:31,297
Listen, what's gonna happen
to, uh, the package?

248
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,132
Oh, it will have a fine home.

249
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,925
A wonderful home.

250
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,803
As the belt around the waist
of a well-dressed woman.

251
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,389
I am not gonna let you
hurt that snake!

252
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:47,021
You have to say "Lisa, catch"
before you throw it.

253
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,731
-Come on.
-(grunts)

254
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,069
Where did they go?

255
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,988
Maybe we shouldn't have stopped
for that seven-course meal.

256
00:10:56,072 --> 00:11:00,451
Oh, maybe we should just
have six, like peasants!

257
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,414
So, back home we call this
the tire fire.

258
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,378
<i>♪ ♪</i>

259
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,053
Man, look at those gargoyles.

260
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,389
That's from back when religions still knew

261
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,599
how to scare the crap out of you.

262
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,101
Homie, I have to ask.

263
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,395
Why are you carrying
that briefcase?

264
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,772
I just brought a little work.

265
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,273
You don't even bring
your work to work.

266
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,400
(grunts)

267
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,610
I'm sorry.
I just want this family

268
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,196
to have one trip that's great.

269
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:40,032
Not like Australia or Brazil,

270
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,992
Japan, London,

271
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:45,705
China,
that World's Fair Bart drove to,

272
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,998
that place with
the underground jockeys...

273
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,793
So, Dad, what are you
gonna do with the snake?

274
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,503
...Itchy and Scratchy Land,

275
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,046
outer space...

276
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,840
Lisa, I've come to understand

277
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:58,634
a snake's natural habitat
is not a briefcase.

278
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,636
So I'm going to set him free.

279
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,264
Oh, may I suggest
the gardens of the Louvre?

280
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,558
-They're filled with delicious rats.
-(man screams)

281
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,229
Whoo-hoo!

282
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,109
It's a shame Lisa and your father
had that errand

283
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,318
and couldn't join us.

284
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,820
But on the upside...

285
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,488
more pâté please!

286
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,283
<i>Vraiment?</i>
You want more pâté?

287
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:25,286
Yes, before my cruelty-free daughter
shows up.

288
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,371
Perhaps madam would like
to order from our

289
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,331
extra cruelty menu.

290
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,334
We have <i>coq au vin</i> made
from an old rooster

291
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,254
who was kicked to death
in front of his wife and children.

292
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,505
Very nice.

293
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,508
On second thought,
I'll just have a salad.

294
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,885
Ah, <i>très bien.</i>

295
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,554
Gilles, gouge the eyes out
of some new potatoes!

296
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:47,057
Ugh, I can't stand to look
at this anymore.

297
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:49,435
Bart, can you ditch this
in the alley for me?

298
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,280
(glass clattering)

299
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,866
(clamoring)

300
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,201
Hmm.

301
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,994
Starving models.

302
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,704
Well, Bart Simpson never met

303
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,956
a beautiful woman
he couldn't prank.

304
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,126
Dad, I love being on a caper
in France with you.

305
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,045
Well, this is gonna be a snap.

306
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,047
All we need is to get our tickets

307
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,883
from this automatic
French ticket dispenser.

308
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,219
{\an8}(grunting)

309
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:28,474
(female voice speaking French)

310
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:30,434
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!

311
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,814
<i>FEMALE VOICE:</i>
<i>Votre billet.</i>

312
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,858
Dad, you just bought
a ticket to Argenteuil.

313
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,860
<i>Prochain client, s'il vous plaît.</i>

314
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,863
Stop speaking French,
damn you!

315
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,865
<i>MALE VOICE (speaking German):</i>
<i>Die Maschine nicht zu schlagen!</i>

316
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:45,825
Yes, sir.

317
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,993
(upbeat runway music plays)

318
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,380
Here, skinny, skinny.

319
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:00,339
Here, skinny,
skinny.

320
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,508
(models grunting)

321
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:09,515
<i>BART:</i>
<i>I've never been happier.</i>

322
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,643
Okay, you're free.

323
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,020
Now, remember to respect
this ecosystem.

324
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,440
Come on, go.

325
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,442
You'll be a snake that lives in Paris.

326
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,987
It's a children's book that writes itself.

327
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,405
UGOLIN:
Not so fast!

328
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,782
(gasps)
How did you find us?

329
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659
All tourists come to the Louvre.

330
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,578
Hey, it's got great paintings.

331
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,079
Oh, yeah? Name two.

332
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:35,499
Uh... uh...

333
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,835
Uh...

334
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,461
Don't patronize us!

335
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,630
You make belts from snakes.

336
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,465
We treat our high-fashion animals

337
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,217
in the most humane manner.

338
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,810
(gasps)
You're monsters.

339
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,271
True, but that is just
a part of who we are.

340
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,814
We are also poets.

341
00:14:58,898 --> 00:14:59,815
Communists.

342
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,941
Experts on mustard.

343
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,484
They're gone!

344
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,986
If we want to be criminals,

345
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,529
we should keep
a better eye on people.

346
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,531
-It's really not that hard.
-Do not worry.

347
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,326
There is one surefire way
to find the Americans.

348
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,577
Marco!

349
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:12,953
HOMER (far off):
Polo!

350
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,956
I say, "Marco!"

351
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,249
HOMER (closer):
Polo!

352
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,834
LISA:
Dad, control yourself.

353
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:19,919
HOMER:
I got it.

354
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,045
Marco!

355
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,088
HOMER:
Polo! Oh, he tricked me.

356
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,884
(fading)
Marco! Marco! Marco! Marco!

357
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,302
Polo!

358
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,929
Now what are we gonna do
with the snake?

359
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,931
We'll just have
to keep him with us.

360
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:32,932
(gasps)

361
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,141
What is it, Lisa?

362
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,935
Do you see a Burger King?

363
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,978
We're at rue des Lombards,

364
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,981
home of the three most famous
jazz clubs in Paris.

365
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,274
What do you think, Dad?

366
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,777
Just pull the rope, please.

367
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,111
(playing jazz)

368
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,574
How old are you?

369
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,575
Eight.

370
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,327
<i>Très bien.</i>

371
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,004
(crowd gasps)

372
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,506
We need a doctor!

373
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,509
And someone who can
play saxophone!

374
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,427
Oh, which is which?!

375
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,096
I'll show you.

376
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,188
<i>LISA:</i>
<i>I've never been happier.</i>

377
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,273
<i>♪ ♪</i>

378
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,110
(sighs)

379
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,195
(sighs)

380
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,948
(sighs)

381
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,122
(sighs)

382
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,835
Plastered in Paris.

383
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,004
There is no better feeling.

384
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,048
(sighing)

385
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,009
(moaning)

386
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,512
Marge, there's something
I need to tell you.

387
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,850
That briefcase.

388
00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,268
I knew it was trouble.

389
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,104
Yes, this is my Battle of Essling.

390
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:05,524
Unless Napoleon had a more
famous defeat I'm not aware of.

391
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,444
(gasps)

392
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,447
I've been smuggling this snake
this whole trip.

393
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,449
But it was the only way
I could pay for it,

394
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,451
and you wanted to go so badly.

395
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,620
And besides, those French crooks
couldn't catch anybody.

396
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,457
-There they are!
-No, no bridge!

397
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,208
We'll have to board
a <i>Bateau Mouche.</i>

398
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:27,212
A little champagne,
some dancing, and then...

399
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,797
(groans)
They're gone again!

400
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,216
This joie de vivre is killing us.

401
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,385
{\an8}HOMER:
Man, I never thought I'd be so glad

402
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,388
{\an8}to get back to our own
<i>arrondissement.</i>

403
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,141
(French accent)
Ooh-la-la-la-la.

404
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,602
You have despoiled
our supermodels,

405
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:45,397
let an American perform
with a French combo,

406
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:49,234
and stolen
these poor gentlemen's snake.

407
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,780
Well, I guess this is the point
that comes in every vacation

408
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,698
where I say... run! Run!

409
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,158
(sighs)

410
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,701
Okay, don't run.

411
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,453
Better cuff this one.

412
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,171
No snake!

413
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,798
What's on the desk?

414
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:14,343
Just a few dozen urgent messages
from someone called "Grampa."

415
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,762
This one says the cat
is eating his toast.

416
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,014
I have no time
for cats and toast.

417
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,432
Search the room.

418
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,604
(French accent) We have searched
their room from armoire to bidet, huh?

419
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,106
No snake.

420
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,816
Maybe we were wrong about you.

421
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,235
Let's see if the police
dogs can do anything.

422
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,320
(yipping)

423
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,034
I keep telling you
they are worthless.

424
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,994
But they're so damn cute.

425
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,621
(yipping)

426
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,833
All right, Simpsons,
I apologize.

427
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,001
As for you,
set the dogs on them.

428
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,003
(yipping)

429
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,506
Prepare to have
your ankles nipped!

430
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,508
(yipping)

431
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,844
I just want to say
that before we came,

432
00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:00,347
our family was falling apart
like your European Union.

433
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:03,225
But just a few days
in your wonderful country,

434
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,227
and now we're better than ever.

435
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,229
All is forgiven, my friends.

436
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,439
Enjoy <i>la douce France.</i>

437
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,901
And now something we should have done
the moment we met you.

438
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,865
Come on,
you guys kiss like grandmas.

439
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,949
Get in there.

440
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,416
I don't know how we did it,

441
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,544
but we finally
lucked into a great vacation.

442
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,880
In Paris,
a lady makes her own luck.

443
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,965
<i>♪ ♪</i>

444
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,230
Now my favorite part of each trip.

445
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,274
The gifts I brought back
for my friends.

446
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,401
For Carl,
a French Coca-Cola.

447
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,944
Ah, <i>très chic.</i>

448
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,031
For Lenny, a miniature
Empire State Building.

449
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,491
-We had a layover in New York.
-Wow.

450
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:05,037
And for Moe, a belt made
out of a blue snake.

451
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,496
Artificial, I think.

452
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,998
Thank you.

453
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:16,632
Ook.

454
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,137
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!

455
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,935
Subtitled by B. Everdene