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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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(Patty and Selma cackling)
3
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(exclaiming)
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(school bell ringing)
5
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(Barney belches)
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(tires screech)
7
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D'oh!
8
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(tires screech)
9
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Ugh!
10
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I'm too fat!
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Still too fat!
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Ugh!
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(groans)
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♪ ♪
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{\an8}(tires screech)
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{\an8}Come on, sir. You'll be late
for your appointment.
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{\an8}Hush! No one must know I'm not
in perfect mental health.
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{\an8}The Kaiser would be furious.
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{\an8}♪ ♪
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{\an8}(coin clanks)
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{\an8}Hip joints! Who wants a hip joint?
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{\an8}Eyeballs! Can't see without your eyeballs!
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{\an8}Euthanasia! Sweet, sweet euthanasia!
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{\an8}Ooh. Can I buy it as a gift?
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{\an8}No!
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{\an8}Mm.
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{\an8}Hmm.
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}Come on in, Monty.
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{\an8}I believe last week we were
discussing your anger issues.
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{\an8}Anger issues?
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{\an8}Anger issues?!
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{\an8}Anger issues?
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{\an8}Anger issues?!
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{\an8}Yeah, all right, I'm afraid
our 50 minutes are almost up.
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{\an8}Sorry. You were saying?
37
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{\an8}(sighs) Monty, I give up.
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{\an8}After only 70 years of therapy?
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{\an8}You're never gonna change.
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{\an8}You-you will never have this.
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{\an8}A cheap piece of plastic
with photos of ugly people?
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{\an8}That is my family-- people who love me.
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{\an8}Yes, you're right.
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{\an8}I should consider
encasing people in plastic.
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{\an8}Then I could always see
the look of fear in their faces.
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{\an8}-(chuckles)
-Yeah, we're finished here. Get out.
47
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{\an8}May I remind you I'm paying you
five dollars an hour?
48
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{\an8}Oy. Why did I lock in at that rate?
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{\an8}(door buzzes)
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}(thud)
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{\an8}What? (gasps)
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{\an8}Hmm. No pulse.
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{\an8}Oh, wait, that's me.
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{\an8}Dead. So sad.
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{\an8}He was a true friend.
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Mm-hmm. Excellent.
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(trumpet playing taps)
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I can't believe Dr. Nussbaum's dead.
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Um, we've had a lot of therapists.
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Which one was he again?
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He was the one who helped us communicate.
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You never listen to a word I say.
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I have to listen all day at work.
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-You're not listening now.
-I'm listened out!
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What? "Listened out."
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-Not listening, not listening...
-What does that even mean?
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Let's hear what the children have to say.
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I'm gonna wet the bed
to get their attention.
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HOMER: Not listening...
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You're the one sleeping in it.
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I didn't say I'd wet my bed.
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Please, Marge! Do we have to burden
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-Dr. Nussbaum with our problems?
-(all arguing)
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-Maggie talk!
-The man has problems of his own!
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Maggie talk!
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(arguing continues)
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No one listen? Maggie never talk again.
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-That's not what happened.
-That's exactly what happened.
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I believe I remember what happened, Marge.
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How could you remember?
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You were looking at your
phone half the time.
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When you have four bar Wi-Fi, you use it.
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00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:40,178
Oh, look.
It's the ugly people from the cube.
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-(gasps)
-RABBI: Uh, if we can begin.
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Oh, of course.
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Oh, this man meant a great deal to me.
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And helping out
with the cost of this service
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was the least I could do.
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-(crowd murmurs)
-Very sweet.
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Smithers?
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(crowd booing loudly)
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00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,069
For shame! (grunts)
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(tires screech)
95
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(sighs) Stoned at a funeral.
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Ooh, wow! Where's the funeral?
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(chuckles) Oh! Just what I wanted.
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Just get me home quickly.
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("Pomp and Circumstance" playing)
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And this year's Nobel Prize
for Physics goes to...
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Professor John Frink.
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(crowd cheering)
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(horn honks)
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FRINK: Ah, thank you, Queen Sonja,
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and all the people at HBO--
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the, uh, Higgs Boson Observatory--
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you'll see there.
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(tires screech, car crashes)
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Oy! Oyven!
110
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I-I didn't mean to hit him, sir.
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Well, how could a man in his right mind
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miss a car heading right towards him?
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(truck horn blares)
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MAN: Idiot!
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I think it's this headpiece
he's wearing, sir.
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If I may ask, what makes
this device so enchanting
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that you ignore the real world?
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Is there a milkmaid skipping rope?
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Oy! Gloivick!
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The Oculus Frink-- or Froculus--
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provides you with a complete
virtual reality experience.
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(groans) Letting you live
in a world of your dreams.
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Goy!
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(mutters)
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To adjust the focus,
turn the dial on the side. Oy.
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Now for the after-party.
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(lively orchestral music playing)
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I must have it!
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Oh, uh, can you drop me off first?
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♪ ♪
131
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Hmm, not bad. Next?
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This is still a new technology, sir.
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At the moment, it's really
just lots of pornography,
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00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,697
a roller coaster,
pornography, pornography,
135
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Burger King ad, pornography,
136
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and... and this one.
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♪ ♪
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(dragon squawks)
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(roaring)
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(squawks)
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Dragon porn.
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(both moaning)
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Oh, yeah.
144
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,093
-Oh, yeah. Oh.
-Oh, flame on, baby.
145
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Flame on!
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Hot! Hot!
147
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Don't tell my wife, okay?
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SMITHERS: Oh, sorry, sir.
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00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,766
This one is also pornography.
150
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Oh, so boring.
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(fabric rips)
152
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Trim those nails, Smithers.
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00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,356
Uh, sir, if I might suggest,
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the last thing your therapist said was
155
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,526
you need a family.
156
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(chuckles) I don't need anyone.
157
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,532
We could program
a virtual family for you, sir.
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00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,534
A virtual family. Yes.
159
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,077
Meanwhile, let me see the one again
160
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,246
where I shoot the beloved lion in Africa.
161
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That was reality, sir.
162
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,417
Mm. I've lived quite the life.
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Quite the life.
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Ooh!
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(crow caws)
166
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Uh, we only need three children, thanks.
167
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,093
Oh, what kind of coal mine you runnin'?
168
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:12,348
You, wife, look at me lovingly,
as if I'm your husband.
169
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,726
Eh, can you ask for
a look of indifference?
170
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I think she can do that.
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00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,605
Luann, pretend it's my birthday.
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Next.
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You promised me a job, Dad!
174
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,986
I was gonna buy a fat Barbie.
175
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,571
It's Curvy Barbie.
176
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And that would mean
you have to buy all new clothes.
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00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,284
(crow caws)
178
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,369
Uh, this thing says
all families in the plant
179
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,912
are required to try out.
180
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,164
So far, so good.
181
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,125
Two-and-a-half children,
wife with current hairstyle.
182
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,251
You're all hired.
183
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,295
Except you, fatso. We don't need a father.
184
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,213
I'll be the rooster in this henhouse.
185
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,840
That is so disappointing.
186
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:49,594
I've always wanted to work for Mr. Burns.
187
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,764
Okay, family scene.
188
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,600
And... action.
189
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,018
(steam hissing)
190
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(sucking noises)
191
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This isn't a word I use lightly,
but... excellent.
192
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,700
Oh, Smithers, one favor:
193
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,119
make the children look like they're mine.
194
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,624
No, no, no! It's too beautiful.
195
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,751
Like a Supreme Court full of Scalias.
196
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,836
Switch to something else.
197
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:30,510
BURNS: That's good.
198
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,011
What's the matter, Homer?
199
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,346
Last night, Marge and the kids
200
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,473
didn't get home till 11:00 at night.
201
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,808
When I came back from Moe's at 11:05,
202
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,810
they were still taking off their coats!
203
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:43,814
I hear old man Burns is just
living in a fantasy world now.
204
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,274
En garde! (laughs)
205
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,817
Mm, must be nice.
206
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:49,987
Hey, there he is.
Wonder what he's watching now.
207
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,364
Home movies.
208
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:57,245
♪ Happy birthday, dear Burnsie ♪
209
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:01,582
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
210
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,126
♪ And maybe more ♪
211
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,420
(chuckles) Thank you, thank you.
212
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,297
Now, your mother's
going to take me upstairs
213
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,800
to give me... her present.
214
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,179
(Marge moaning suggestively)
215
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,307
BURNS: Oh, Smithers,
could you remove the ankle bar?
216
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,185
More. More. More.
217
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,979
(moans) Oh...
218
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,982
(chuckles) Oh, that was wonderful.
219
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,442
I'm picking up your ten-year options.
220
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,944
Ten years?!
221
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,737
Oh, now, now, no discussion.
222
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,281
We're a family now.
223
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,535
Ugh! What is that? A river otter?
224
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,622
(dog howls)
225
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,458
(groans) We're not coming home, Homie.
226
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,295
What? What do I do without you here?
227
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:50,631
You can do what you did
with me there: go to Moe's.
228
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,216
Aw, it's not the same
229
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,386
if I'm not trying to avoid
some unpleasant chore.
230
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:56,679
Oh. You could clean out the attic.
231
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,306
-Going to Moe's!
-(line clicks, dial tone)
232
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,017
Eh, no one to go home to, huh?
233
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,060
Yeah, take it from me, that's rough.
234
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,228
Yeah.
235
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,813
Heading back to an empty house.
236
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,440
No one there to tell you what to do,
237
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,400
no kids fighting all the time.
238
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:10,443
Wait a minute.
239
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,903
I can eat dinner in any room of the house!
240
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,364
And not the scary ones like
the basement and Bart's bedroom.
241
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,992
And I can drink at home!
242
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,328
Whoa, whoa!
You're twisting my words there.
243
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,788
That would be cheaper!
And I wouldn't have to drive!
244
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,415
And you are kind of mean.
245
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,334
No one calls me mean.
246
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,712
Moe, you're proving my point.
247
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:32,423
Here we are talking,
and you pull a shotgun on me.
248
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,759
But there's never
any bullets in this. Watch.
249
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,095
Ha! Good gag, huh?
250
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,848
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
251
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,600
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
252
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:43,726
♪ I feel free ♪
253
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,478
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
254
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,771
♪ I feel free ♪
255
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:47,938
(muffled explosion)
256
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,315
♪ I feel free ♪
257
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,025
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
258
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,109
♪ I feel free ♪
259
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,569
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
260
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,695
♪ I feel free ♪
261
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,447
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
262
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:57,573
♪ I feel free ♪
263
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,116
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
264
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,451
♪ I feel free ♪
265
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:01,952
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
266
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,037
♪ I feel free ♪
267
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,872
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
268
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,040
♪ I feel free ♪
269
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:14,548
♪ Feel when I dance with you ♪
270
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:18,469
♪ We move like the sea ♪
271
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:25,101
♪ You, you're all I want to know ♪
272
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:29,063
♪ I feel free ♪
273
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:34,735
♪ I feel free ♪
274
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,822
Mmm, does that turn you on?
275
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,658
Oh, yes. That's hot.
276
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,994
(laughs)
The perfect temperature.
277
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:47,081
(owl hooting)
278
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:51,043
Ah, Snoopy knew what
he was doing, all right.
279
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,837
-WOMAN: How you doing?
-Aah!
280
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,380
Don't worry, I've seen you naked
281
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:55,756
plenty of times.
282
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,508
I live in the house behind yours.
283
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,511
I don't think my wife would like this.
284
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,180
Hey, I got a boyfriend,
and you're not my type.
285
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,724
FLANDERS: Could you both keep it down?
286
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,183
I'm trying to count pennies.
287
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,519
(scoffs) Stupid Flanders.
288
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,313
FLANDERS: Oh! You made me lose count.
289
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,524
(both laughing)
290
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,359
Homer, it looks like
you're out of beer, pal.
291
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,527
(grunts)
292
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,655
Wow, can a man just be friends
293
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,115
with a woman?
294
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,199
Here are some pretzels.
295
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,368
Yes, he can!
296
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,332
(fence squeaks)
297
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,501
Aw, don't worry. I'll fix that.
298
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,713
Have one. I'm celebrating.
299
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,381
My boyfriend proposed.
300
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,049
Wow! You'll get to enjoy
301
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,385
the most magical part of married life:
302
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,970
the beginning.
303
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,639
Mmm... (slurping)
304
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,892
So, uh, where's the lucky guy?
305
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,435
(sighs) Gone for the weekend.
306
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,561
He's an airline pilot.
307
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,396
Maybe he and I can go out for beers
308
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,273
-before a flight.
-Mm.
309
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,691
Where's your wife?
310
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,902
Uh, she's staying
at this billionaire's house,
311
00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,862
working as a virtual reality actress.
312
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,030
You know, the usual.
313
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,199
Oh, Homer?
314
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,909
Something's going on with Homer.
315
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,744
My spousal sense is tingling.
316
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,622
Mom, you blew the take!
317
00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,582
Okay, that's it. I'll direct.
318
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,417
And I'll show you how a pro does it.
319
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,419
You, daughter character, say you love me.
320
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,420
(flatly) I love you.
321
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,505
Like you mean it.
322
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,381
(flatly) I really love you.
323
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,508
Once more, with feeling.
324
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,135
(flatly) I... really...
325
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,930
love... you.
326
00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:26,931
Blech.
327
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:29,016
This girl has no chops whatsoever.
328
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:31,018
(a la Katherine Hepburn)
The existence of my chops
329
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:33,479
is not for the likes of you to ascertain,
330
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:34,730
my good sir.
331
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,607
(shudders) Would you like some eggs
332
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,317
with that ham?
333
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,071
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
334
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,198
Looks like the old make-out king's
335
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,408
got a new queen, huh?
336
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,244
Guys, we're just friends.
337
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,037
It's purely catatonic.
338
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,247
"Platonic."
339
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,165
That means she's into me,
340
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,875
but I'm keeping it cool.
341
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,670
I like you, but that's not what it means.
342
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,338
Sure, right.
343
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,590
(Italian accent)
Here you go, the antipasto,
344
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,259
to share.
345
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,594
BOTH: Ooh...!
346
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,513
Would you fellas like to join us?
347
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:08,931
(nervous stammers)
348
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,809
(sophisticated accent)
When did salad get so awful?
349
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,811
(sophisticated accent)
Kale ruined everything.
350
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,938
(mock sophisticated laughter)
351
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,565
(normal voice)
You're just like a guy.
352
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,650
You're funny, you like to eat crap.
353
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,485
If I may get personal,
354
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:24,071
-what's your bowling average?
-212.
355
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:26,615
Oh, my God, you're my best friend!
356
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,033
And that's all.
357
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,034
Just friends.
358
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,411
Eh, we shall see.
359
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,246
There is one test for romance
360
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:34,373
that never fails.
361
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,041
Enjoy it.
362
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,216
That is not a-love!
363
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,260
This is the best-- we're friends,
364
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,095
no one has any reason to get upset,
365
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,680
and no one gets hurt.
366
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,223
To no one getting hurt.
367
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,558
SMITHERS: Smash-cut to Marge!
368
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,311
"Look, Monty, our daughter, the president,
369
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,062
is delivering her speech."
370
00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:00,274
Excuse me, do I ever get a joke?
371
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,483
Keep rolling.
372
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,278
"Mr. Vice President, Madam Speaker,
373
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,113
Chinese Overlords,
374
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:09,366
years ago, our forefathers,
and foremothers..."
375
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:10,826
BURNS: Stick to the script.
376
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,411
Oh, you try to give direction
377
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,746
to a bunch of land apes
378
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:16,165
who aren't worth the ping-pong balls
379
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,459
stuck to their untalented asses!
380
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,294
Idiots! Mountebanks!
381
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,212
Featherwits! Poltroons!
382
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,380
(furniture crashes)
383
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:27,343
Saint Francis himself
would vomit with rage!
384
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,053
Okay, you heard him, people.
385
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,096
That was great, just a little more energy.
386
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,932
Sir, I know you're getting frustrated,
387
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,517
so we recorded some future scenarios.
388
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,938
Yes, let's see what life will be like
when I'm old.
389
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,898
I'm going to build homes for the homeless
390
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,816
with my boyfriend Sean,
391
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,444
then it's off to Vassar in the fall.
392
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,863
Irish boyfriend? Helping the homeless?
393
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,407
Well, every family has one black sheep.
394
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,784
Let's move on.
395
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,078
-How did this happen?
-(pacifier pops twice)
396
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,372
Don't you take that tone with me.
397
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,416
A Harvard man?
398
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,960
I was warned there'd be nausea.
399
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,837
I don't need them. My life is perfect.
400
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,301
My life is perfect.
401
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,554
...49, 50. My life is perfect!
402
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,432
Have you seen my Canadian penny?
403
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,142
Oh, darn it, darn it, darn it!
404
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,105
Everyone out! You're all fired!
405
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,107
Having a family is the most
meaningless experience
406
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,775
I could imagine.
407
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:25,859
Try acting.
408
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,194
Mm...
409
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:28,112
Come on, kids.
410
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,488
I'm taking my bathrobe.
411
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:30,948
There's a dye pack stitched in.
412
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,116
(loud pop)
413
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,076
Joke's on you. I like this better.
414
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,036
Oh, go ahead, take your robe.
415
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,830
But you'll never work in single-viewer
416
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:40,791
virtual reality family melodrama again.
417
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,293
Did you see the guitar lessons sign
418
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,586
on the telephone pole?
419
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,921
I took a tab.
420
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,756
No, I'm not gonna take the lessons,
421
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,092
I just needed to blow my nose.
422
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,386
Ooh, my family's here. Gotta go.
423
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,221
Hey, guys! It's good to see you.
424
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,223
Hmm. Good to see you.
425
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,599
Who were you talking to?
426
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:58,976
My friend Julia.
427
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:01,145
Julia? Like a girl?
428
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,312
She's not a girl.
429
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,398
She's three years younger
than your mother.
430
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,357
(irritated murmur)
431
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,026
Now, Marge, it's cool.
432
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,485
All we do is share
433
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,654
our deepest thoughts and feelings.
434
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:11,780
Mm-hmm.
435
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,075
Kids, could you leave the room, please?
436
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,619
Faster!
437
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:18,662
Geronimo!
438
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:19,830
(retreating footsteps)
439
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,582
Marge, it's nothing.
440
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,542
She's just my new best friend.
441
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,420
(groans angrily)
442
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:27,504
What the-- Why--
443
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,173
Why are you mad at those eggs?
444
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,258
They didn't do anything.
445
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:32,676
Homer Simpson!
446
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,845
(whimpering)
447
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:37,347
After all I've put up with
for all these years,
448
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,516
if I'm not your best friend,
449
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,685
what is this marriage about?!
450
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,353
Okay, okay, you're my best friend.
451
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,939
She's just somebody I call
when I'm mad at you.
452
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:47,858
-(screams)
-(grumbling)
453
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,359
I mean, I'm never mad at you.
454
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,028
Well, sometimes I'm mad at you.
455
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,030
A little bit! But I shouldn't call her.
456
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:55,699
-I should just drink it off at Moe's.
-(growling)
457
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,327
You'll never hear the name Julia again.
458
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,954
-Hi, I'm Julia.
-(screams)
459
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,498
I just wanted to introduce myself
460
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,792
and tell you you've got a great husband.
461
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,585
I've got a nice bicycle, too,
462
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,545
but I keep a lock on it.
463
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:12,216
I have no interest in...
riding your bike.
464
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,927
But I want you to know
that your bike loves you
465
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,387
as truly as a bike can.
466
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,891
And, Marge, I love you
as much as that bike.
467
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,476
You are the bike.
468
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,811
(gasps) Wha...?!
469
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,648
(door creaks)
470
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,733
I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
471
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,194
Apparently, you didn't do anything wrong.
472
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,738
But I'm not wrong
for getting mad at you either.
473
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,075
Marge, Julia taught me lots
of stuff that could help us.
474
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,244
For example,
I realize that when you see me
475
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:41,829
doing something stupid and you don't
476
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,373
say anything about it, you do know,
477
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,083
and you're just being nice.
478
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,334
That's true.
479
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,920
And when something's bothering you,
480
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:54,258
sometimes I should just say,
"I understand,"
481
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:55,717
instead of trying to fix it.
482
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,219
Because all you really need is
483
00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,556
someone to know what you're feeling.
484
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,183
That is really, really lovely.
485
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,352
(both moaning)
486
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,106
I have to confess,
I did see him naked on the roof.
487
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:12,401
I did, too, and I was at 10,000 feet.
488
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:15,654
Now for the final fantasy.
489
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:17,614
(crying)
490
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,868
(gasps) Oh, my love, my love,
491
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:24,705
losing you so young, so beautiful.
492
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,582
Still no jokes.
493
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:32,671
(flatly) I love you, and how.
494
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:36,133
(sobs) You're too good for heaven, man.
495
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:38,552
(chuckles) Excellent.
496
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,348
(creatures squawking)
497
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,933
(eerie shriek)
498
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,644
Welcome, Monty.
499
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,439
I'd like to take a selfie with you.
500
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,067
All right, but just one.
501
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,778
Hmm, it's not plugged in.
502
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,160
{\an8}♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
503
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,995
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
504
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,330
(screams)
505
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,873
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
506
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:08,999
♪ I feel free ♪
507
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,792
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
508
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:11,835
♪ I feel free ♪
509
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,545
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
510
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:14,630
♪ I feel free ♪
511
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,131
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
512
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,633
♪ I feel free ♪
513
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,051
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
514
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,052
♪ I feel free ♪
515
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,803
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
516
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:22,930
♪ I feel free ♪
517
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,598
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
518
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:25,682
♪ I feel free ♪
519
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,351
{\an8}♪ Bomp, bomp,
bomp, bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
520
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,435
{\an8}♪ I feel free ♪
521
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:30,229
{\an8}♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp-bomp-bomp ♪
522
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,939
{\an8}♪ I feel free ♪
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00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:34,316
{\an8}(theme song playing)
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Shh!
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{\an8}Subtitled by Jimmy Boots