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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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{\an8}HOMER:
Come on, Marge, where's dinner?
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{\an8}What's the holdup in there?
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{\an8}♪ Pot-pot-pot-pot pot pies! ♪
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{\an8}A pie for Bart...
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{\an8}Come on, put them down already.
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{\an8}...a veggie pie for Lisa...
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{\an8}Why do you have to describe everything?
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{\an8}...a baby pie for Maggie.
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{\an8}The pies know who they're for.
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{\an8}-A dog pie for Santa's Little Helper.
-What? The dog...
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{\an8}The dog before me?
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{\an8}Now, be sure to cut it open first
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{\an8}so the pie has time to cool.
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{\an8}(screams) I'm done.
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{\an8}I know you're in a hurry to go to the bar
to watch football,
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{\an8}but first I want you
to put the kids to bed.
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{\an8}(groans loudly)
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{\an8}(strains, grunts)
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{\an8}"Everything after the tornado
was a dream. The end."
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{\an8}(tires screech)
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{\an8}ANNOUNCER: Going into halftime,
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{\an8}it's Springfield Atoms 7,
Boston Americans 10.
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{\an8}Oh, come on, we cannot lose again
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{\an8}to those no-good Boston cheaters!
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{\an8}I-I can't stand that
pretty-boy quarterback.
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{\an8}Thinks he's so handsome,
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{\an8}just 'cause he's drop-dead gorgeous.
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{\an8}The only reason Boston wins
is because they cheat!
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{\an8}Listening in on our team's headsets,
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{\an8}fattening our cheerleaders.
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{\an8}You know, for three games last year,
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{\an8}Boston used a volleyball painted brown.
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{\an8}(Boston accent)
That was never proven,
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{\an8}you Springfield screw-job.
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{\an8}Ugh, Boston fans.
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{\an8}In town for
the Dennis Lehane book tour.
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{\an8}Go kiss a Kennedy, you rule-
breaking cranberry squeezers!
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{\an8}We don't cheat.
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{\an8}We won 12 division titles in ten years,
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{\an8}fair and square.
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{\an8}You dorks are just jealous
of all our championship rings.
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{\an8}ALL:
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
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You're the one who's jealous.
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I only wish
I could be as jealous as you.
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Geez, Jay, this place has got
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more knobs than a hardware store.
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I hate this town.
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So don't I. Friggin' doorknobs.
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-(laughter)
-Automatic.
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BOTH:
Mwah, mwah, mwah.
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ANNOUNCER:
It's fourth and long,
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the Americans' last chance
for a miracle.
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Come on, Springfield, put it away!
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We're gonna win one.
We're finally gonna win one!
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ANNOUNCER:
The QB handsomely takes the snap,
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sexily steps back to pass,
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and with God-given good looks,
fires it downfield!
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But there's no one there to receive it!
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(groaning)
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(scoffs) Nice pass.
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What a first-ballot hall-of-fame loser.
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ANNOUNCER: But the ball is caught
by the Americans' mascot,
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Flappy the Flag!
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Flappy running unopposed into the end zone
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for a surely illegal touchdown.
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Throwing to the mascot?
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After further review,
Flappy the Flag is listed
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on the Americans' 53-man roster
and reported eligible.
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{\an8}The result of the play is a touchdown.
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{\an8}(crowd cheering)
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ANNOUNCER: Once again,
the Americans found a way to win.
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(chuckles) Oh, that'll put a smile
on Coach Bonderchuck's face.
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(crowd cheering)
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-(cheering)
-Oh, not again!
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They cheated! You cheated!
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Did not.
You got to cover the mascot.
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Use your noggin. Play smart.
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Flappy's on the roster.
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(chanting)
On the roster!
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On the roster! On the roster!
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On the roster, my butt.
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Once again, those Boston cheaters
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think the rules don't apply to them.
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And they're so smug about winning.
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If I ever won anything,
I wouldn't be smug about it.
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I'd be class all the way,
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like Mark Harmon-- pure American elegance.
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I tell ya, the next Boston fan I see,
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I'm just gonna lose it.
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Lose it so hard.
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And-- What the...?!
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What is... How could...
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That hat! Your head!
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That team.
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My son!
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Hey, Dad, caught the game last night.
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Tough loss for your guys.
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Guess we just wanted it more.
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(sarcastically)
Oh, am I in the right house?
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Because no one in my house
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would ever be caught dead
wearing Boston Americans gear.
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Dead!
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I feel ya, Homer.
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Sucks to be a loser.
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Unlike the six-time
Mega-Bowl champion
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Boston Americans.
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Mwah! (smooches)
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Ring, ring, ring.
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(frustrated grunts)
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Give me that hat.
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(Homer growls)
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(grunting, snorting)
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Olé!
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(sighs) Your father never
could resist an "olé."
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Eh, he'll run out of steam soon.
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(Homer groaning)
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(laughing)
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Get in.
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(Milhouse and Nelson scream)
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(gulps)
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Look around, son.
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This is your hometown.
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And the Springfield Atoms
are your hometown team--
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since 2003, when we stole them
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in the middle of the night
from Portland.
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What kind of life
can you have here
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as a Boston fan?
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See?
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Why are you wearing
that Boston hat?
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This is Atoms country, bro!
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I would pluck out my own eyes
if I did not have a call-back
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for a web-only
Olive Garden commercial.
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They're just trying to hat-shame me.
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Face it, Dad,
Boston is the Bart Simpson of cities.
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All those awesome Southies
in The Departed,
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those are my people.
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People? The dog and the baby
are your people.
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(sighs) It all goes back
to the Boston Tea Party,
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a prank so kick-ass it started a country.
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(tires screech)
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Come on, pal, what do you say?
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Just lose the hat.
For your old man.
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Nope, I think I'll stick
with the bad boys.
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Get it off before God sees.
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(whimpering)
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(groans) Oh!
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And the people from Boston
are so obnoxious.
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They think their stupid city
has the best everything:
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bands, comedians, chowder,
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their so-called cream pies,
which are actually cakes.
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-And there's...
-Why don't you let me
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take your mind off your problems?
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And what's with Aerosmith?
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That's not how you spell "arrow."
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The... oh.
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(both moaning)
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(confused grunting)
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(whimpering)
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Oh, no.
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Do your job, Homer.
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(Homer screams)
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Bart, you're my son.
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There's no neck tattoo so crass,
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no gender reassignment too ambiguous
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that I would not love you.
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Which is why I must show you
the error of your ways,
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even if it means dragging
this family all the way to hell.
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A vacation to Boston?
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{\an8}No, not a vay-cation,
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{\an8}a hate-cation!
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Where you experience
the worst a place has to offer,
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and then say, "Told ya!"
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Hate-watching, hate-voting
and now a hate-cation?
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Why can't everyone just enjoy
things they like?
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Because things you like don't fill you
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with delicious, delicious rage.
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Hmm, I'm gonna love this trip.
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I'm gonna love it right in your face.
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That's it, build it up in your head.
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High hopes just make
the hate-cation stronger.
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You're crazy.
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Boston can't be that bad.
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(horns honking)
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I've never loved hating anything so much!
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(Boston accent)
Move your garbage car!
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I got to get to the packy
before the Bs drop puck!
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Told ya!
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See, boy? Notice how Bostonians
aren't exactly ugly,
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but they're not sexy either.
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Homer, your negative attitude
is ruining this hate-cation.
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So, what to hate first?
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The Freedom Trail?
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The touch tank
at the New England Aquarium?
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Ooh, that could blow.
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I want to go to Southie.
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That part of town has
the towniest townies of any town.
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(scoffs) You think your
Bostonians are so great?
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Watch as your beloved hooligans
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tear your innocent father limb from limb
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with just the slightest provocation.
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Listen up, you clam-gargling tea-tossers!
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Fenway is a terrible ballpark!
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Dad, don't!
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Out of my way, ladies.
You're blocking my shot.
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The seats at Fenway Park are too narrow,
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and many of them face center field!
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It's not charming, it's a teardown!
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(Boston accent)
The bobbleheads!
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They're tippin'!
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(Boston accent)
Kid, mind the cart!
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-The what?
-The cart!
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The cot?
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Cot!
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(grunting)
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No, don't struggle!
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It only makes them bobble harder.
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They keep coming.
Bobblehead Steven Wright,
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00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,598
bobblehead Aimee Mann,
bobblehead Bell Biv DeVoe!
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The vibrations are killing him!
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Don't worry, sweetheart,
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I'm a doctor.
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I'm also a doctor, kid.
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(groaning)
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Mm, so many doctors.
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He's got a Pedro lodged in his airway.
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(Homer gasps)
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He'll be fine, ma'am.
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00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,867
And because of our state's
super-socialized health care,
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no matter how much your husband
abuses his body,
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someone else will pay for it.
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What a relief for women
with hot-tempered,
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00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,502
accident-prone husbands.
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00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,504
Oh, yeah,
we got a whole surgical center
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for injuries from falling off
icy roofs and gutters.
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BOTH: Ooh.
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While the doctors pull tiny
Bruins helmets out of your skin,
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Lisa and I are going to explore
The Hub on our own.
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Remember, this is a hate-cation.
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You better go someplace bad.
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Isn't Mayor Quimby
from somewhere around here?
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(all muttering with thick accents)
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People are so fit here.
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Everyone looks like they're
in a financial services ad.
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Free sunscreen? So progressive.
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Do you vaccinate your children?
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Of course.
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But not stupid progressive.
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-(low buzzing)
-What's that buzzing noise?
250
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(gasps) It's-- It's nerds!
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They've got every
recognized species of nerd!
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A jester-hatted ferret preener!
253
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A Wild West-afarian!
254
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,227
A Magic: The Gathering gathering!
255
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,520
Oculus rifters!
256
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,106
Yo-yo guys. Yo-yo girls!
257
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:09,191
A chain mail ping pong player.
258
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,401
(giggles, squeals)
259
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,361
So much education.
260
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,363
If they did a Real Housewives here,
261
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,449
it would be a total snooze.
262
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,534
Ah, it's like heaven for people
263
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,703
who don't believe in heaven.
264
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,039
HOMER:
What the crap is this BS?
265
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,750
What? I thought you'd want
to try candlepin bowling.
266
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,546
Hey, McCarthy, nice half-Worcester.
267
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,381
Get bent, McDonald.
268
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,467
A lot of wood to work with out there.
269
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,968
(sputters) Boston.
270
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,220
They even found a way to mess up bowling.
271
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,388
Just try it.
272
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,556
(groans)
273
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,308
Eh, all right.
274
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:45,728
(grunts)
275
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,732
None of the usual pain in my knees, back,
276
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,234
wrist, shoulder, neck, and chest.
277
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,322
(grunts)
278
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,159
(groans) One pin standing.
279
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,494
Story of my life.
280
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,079
Whoa there, pal.
281
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,164
Don't forget your third ball.
282
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,332
Hold on, wait.
283
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,958
Wait. Hold on.
284
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,043
Wait.
285
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,253
What?
286
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,339
This is candlepin bowling.
287
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,590
You get three.
288
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,842
Hmm? Hmm.
289
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,427
(grunts)
290
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,935
(gasps) Three balls.
291
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,771
I see it all so clearly now.
292
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,606
What, Dad? What is it?
293
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,442
This regional bowling
with its one extra roll
294
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:37,279
has knocked my misguided hate
into the gutter.
295
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,280
Mwah!
296
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,866
I like Boston!
297
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,619
Dad, you and me are real
father-son Southies, now.
298
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,621
Just like Ben and Casey Affleck.
299
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:49,458
Son, show me everything
this town has to offer.
300
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,712
("The Man in Me" by Bob Dylan playing)
301
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,630
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
302
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,383
♪ La la la la la la la la la ♪
303
00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:58,718
♪ Ooh ♪
304
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,136
♪ La la la la la ♪
305
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,303
♪ La la la la ♪
306
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,472
♪ La la la la la la la ♪
307
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,517
♪ La la la la ♪
308
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,145
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
309
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,147
♪ La la la ♪
310
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,149
-♪ Ooh ♪
-♪ La la la la la la la la... ♪
311
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:15,901
(gulps)
312
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,319
You know, for a cake,
313
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,823
this Boston cream pie isn't so bad.
314
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,825
Look at them. So innocent.
315
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,744
Not Bart, but go on.
316
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,911
Homer,
317
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,080
I never dared dream
about living somewhere
318
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,250
that values education,
with great health care,
319
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,170
and everyone's outdoorsy
but still pallid.
320
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,421
If it weren't crazy,
321
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,840
I'd say we should be
raising our kids here.
322
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,009
But no. No, no. That's crazy!
323
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,677
Is it?
324
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,764
(gasps) But I never thought you,
of all people...
325
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:48,225
Honey, this could be the chance
we never thought we'd get.
326
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,937
The chance to knock down
all of life's pins.
327
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,690
Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
328
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:59,445
I am.
Fate is offering us a third ball.
329
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:02,072
Do you mean it?
Are we going to move to Boston?
330
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:05,534
I knew I didn't pay this month's
mortgage for a reason.
331
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,036
(both sigh)
332
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,120
(kisses)
333
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,709
(St. Elsewhere theme playing)
334
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,844
We did it! We really did it!
335
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,638
We made a life change.
336
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:28,724
I love these colonial quilts on the wall.
337
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,060
Now, I can take a nap standing up.
338
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,818
Check it out, kid.
339
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,486
This movie's my life now.
340
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,698
You want to rob the Harvard Coop?
341
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,909
Why don't we just break into Fort Knox?
342
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,537
These snobs think Mass Ave.
belongs to them.
343
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,622
It's our Ave.
344
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,755
Whoa! I got to get one of those
"X" necklaces to kiss.
345
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:04,051
This is all happening so fast.
346
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,761
Can we really afford to live in a city
347
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,721
with a symphony and a Pops?
348
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,223
(laughing)
Don't worry, baby.
349
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:12,726
I have a line on a sweet
safety inspector gig.
350
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,937
Very sweet.
351
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,408
HOMER (over P.A.):
Can I get a test on batch six?
352
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,744
I'm finally living my dream
353
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,581
of never not being around
batches of candy.
354
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,082
And unlike the nuclear plant,
355
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:38,460
if I screw up, no one gets hurt.
356
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,671
(screaming)
357
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,465
Are you sure
we have to go to school here?
358
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,426
I sort of thought I'd go
straight to running numbers
359
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:46,635
for the Irish mob.
360
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,846
Our school is in the heart
of what they once called
361
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:49,972
The Combat Zone.
362
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,807
The Combat Zone! Yes!
363
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,183
Combat rules!
364
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,685
BART: Charter what?
365
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:56,770
Here's my classroom.
366
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,357
The teacher
is Doris Kearns Goodwin.
367
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:04,486
Today, we explore Lincoln's 1861
suspension of habeas corpus,
368
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,448
using dried macaroni
and pipe cleaners.
369
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:08,866
(gasps excitedly)
370
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,036
Huh, now to get sent to detention.
371
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,204
That's where I'll meet
my future bank-robbing crew.
372
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,794
(all gasping)
373
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,922
Ha! How do you like them marbles?
374
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,341
Bart, we have a place for kids like you.
375
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:26,675
Bring it on.
376
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,888
(choir humming
"I'm Shipping Up to Boston")
377
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,890
BART: Kids singing?
378
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,975
(humming continues)
379
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,229
What the hell?
380
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:42,566
Like you, these kids are gifted
with exceptional energy.
381
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,235
Which they've channeled into a cappella.
382
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:47,071
♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
383
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:48,155
♪ Whoa! ♪
384
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,406
(softly)
Departed.
385
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,824
These are the bad kids?
386
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,910
There's not a Wahlberg in the bunch.
387
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,079
I've never felt more like I fit in.
388
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,539
People think Boston's
all Southies and hooligans.
389
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,167
But it's really teachers, Ph.D. students,
390
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,252
doctors, innovators, philanthropists.
391
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,505
It's like living in a giant classroom.
392
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,423
And every day is a new test.
393
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,425
(groaning)
394
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,010
(thunder claps)
395
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,598
Theater?
396
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,767
Colleges?
397
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,769
Culture?
398
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,606
Oh, Pauly,
399
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,524
if you could have known that
400
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,359
Boston was gonna turn out so wussy,
401
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,611
you never would have warned anybody.
402
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:31,240
Listen, my brother, and you shall see,
403
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:34,618
this is a town not for you, but for me.
404
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,203
(screaming)
405
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,123
Hey, but what about Grampa?
406
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,208
He lives a thousand miles away.
407
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,251
Great point.
408
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,544
Nobody tell him where we went.
409
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:46,171
Bart, you haven't touched your clambake.
410
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,381
What's wrong?
411
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,384
This place is all P.C. brainiacs
and Subaru owners
412
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,052
wearing fleece vests.
413
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,887
It's nothing at all
like The Departed.
414
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,306
Oh, honey, I know it's a big change.
415
00:16:56,390 --> 00:17:00,060
But someday you'll understand
that providing our family
416
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,395
with a better life...
417
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,564
Something I've never been able to do.
418
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:06,442
...is the most important thing
in the world.
419
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,777
We've been given a third ball.
420
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,988
Let's not throw it away.
421
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,240
(groans)
422
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,575
Same to you.
423
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:16,827
No one likes feeling out of place.
424
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,954
That's how I felt back in Springfield.
425
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,248
{\an8}But I sucked it up for eight years.
426
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,333
{\an8}Now it's your turn.
427
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,926
(grunts)
428
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:33,927
(gasps)
429
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,180
Yes! Finally.
430
00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:39,016
A Southie crew pulling a job.
431
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:41,101
I finally took that
spin class with Miranda.
432
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,103
I was sweatin' so friggin' hard.
433
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,105
Hey, try this pressed juice, kid.
434
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,775
Ginger, cayenne...
wicked cleanse, pal.
435
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,359
Come on. Donny, Tommy,
436
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,320
these solar laptops for Rwandans
437
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,697
ain't gonna donate themselves.
438
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,659
It's time for me to ship out of Boston.
439
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,537
What a gorgeous day.
440
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,331
I hope it never ends.
441
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,583
So don't I.
442
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:07,795
You know, guys, I've picked out
the perfect Boston activity
443
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,421
to help celebrate our move.
444
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,340
-(marching band playing)
-Ooh, a parade.
445
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,092
Not just any parade.
446
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,011
HOMER:
The Boston Americans?
447
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,681
CROWD (chanting):
Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
448
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,478
{\an8}It's a state holiday because the league
overturned the coach's suspension
449
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,730
{\an8}for using magnets
to affect the coin toss.
450
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,816
{\an8}Pretty cool way to celebrate
our new hometown.
451
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,234
{\an8}Right, Dad?
452
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:35,114
{\an8}(forced) As a Bostonian,
I definitely support my team.
453
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,618
{\an8}Hey, Bonk! Can we get a picture?
454
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,829
Hell to the derrr, little bro!
455
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,248
(grunting)
456
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,208
Come on, Homer, put on the hat.
457
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,002
I can support my hometown team
without putting on a hat.
458
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,880
Hats go on your head!
459
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,716
If you're gonna live in Boston,
you got to wear the hat.
460
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,261
(winces)
461
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,428
Okay.
462
00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,721
(grunting, blowing)
463
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,561
You did this on purpose.
464
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,604
My future is at stake.
465
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,773
So don't is mine.
466
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:13,110
(struggling)
It's... just... a... hat.
467
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:14,278
You can do it, Homie.
468
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:15,863
Think of the candlepins.
469
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,365
This is our extra ball!
470
00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:21,869
A... better... life.
471
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,203
(yells)
472
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,289
(all gasping)
473
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,251
(quacking)
474
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,669
Derrr?!
475
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:32,629
Stupid cheaters!
476
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,006
You cheat,
477
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,091
you flip out
when people say you cheat,
478
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,217
and everybody knows
479
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,928
you're nothing but a big bunch
of cheaters!
480
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,723
{\an8}(Moe chuckling)
481
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,474
You made us leave that lovely city
482
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,810
rather than just put on a stupid hat.
483
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,312
It wasn't even fitted.
484
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,981
(sighs)
I just couldn't wear the hat.
485
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,858
Well, I'm still mad at you.
486
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,569
I never even got to experience
one of those Boston winters
487
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,154
everyone raves about.
488
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,823
Come on, baby,
we could never escape our problems
489
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,408
by moving somewhere else.
490
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:04,620
Our problems are who we are,
not where we are.
491
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,580
Well... maybe.
492
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,790
The traffic was pretty annoying.
493
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,168
Not to mention the unspoken racism.
494
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,837
It wasn't that unspoken.
495
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,506
At least someone in this family
496
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,425
is happy about where they came from.
497
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,637
Oh, don't worry, Lisa.
498
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,805
You'll get back to Boston someday.
499
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,515
What are you talking about?
500
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,934
I never left.
501
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,228
I'm in Boston now.
502
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:32,606
Welcome home, Lisa.
503
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,358
Class is about to start.
504
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,443
(classical music playing)
505
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,820
Eh.
506
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,002
{\an8}(choir humming
"I'm Shipping Up to Boston")
507
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,277
{\an8}♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
508
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,112
{\an8}♪ Shipping up, shipping up ♪
509
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:23,031
{\an8}♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
510
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,866
{\an8}♪ Shipping up to Boston, whoa ♪
511
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,827
{\an8}♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
512
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:29,288
{\an8}♪ Yeah ♪
513
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,039
{\an8}♪ Shipping up to Boston ♪
514
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,040
{\an8}♪ Whoa! ♪
515
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,208
Departed!
516
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,965
{\an8}Subtitled by E. Jaeger