1 00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:05,213 -(beatboxing) -CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:06,923 (tires screech) 3 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,926 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,137 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 5 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,514 ALL: Huh? 6 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,143 D'oh! 7 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,479 (groans) No parking spots? 8 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,733 Lousy butt-kissers, coming in before noon, 9 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,819 eating donuts that are rightfully mine. 10 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,989 Oh, oh, oh! D'oh! 11 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,657 Stupid Smart Car. 12 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,242 (tires screech) 13 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:37,120 D'oh! Spot-hogging S.U.V. 14 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,580 (tires screech) 15 00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,707 D'oh! Inconvenient sinkhole. 16 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,500 (tires screech) 17 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,003 D'oh! Mandatory credit. 18 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,212 (tires screech) 19 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,131 D'oh! "Developed by"? 20 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,383 What does that even mean? 21 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,510 (gasps) It's empty! 22 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,763 {\an8}Homer, no! That's Burns' spot. 23 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,347 {\an8}How could you miss that sign? 24 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,516 {\an8}Oof. The last guy that parked there is now a... 25 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,601 {\an8}(quietly) speed bump. 26 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,353 {\an8}(muffled) Slow down! 27 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,564 {\an8}Guys, be cool. 28 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,024 {\an8}Burns'll never know. 29 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:09,277 {\an8}He's on vacation this week with his weirdo hunting buddies. 30 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,700 {\an8}Fellow members of the Order of the Knights of Saint Caucasian, 31 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,619 {\an8}we've got a lot of things to kill today, 32 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,288 {\an8}so release the sedated quail. 33 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,753 {\an8}(gun clicks) 34 00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:29,214 {\an8}How am I supposed to hunt it if it can move? 35 00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:35,720 {\an8}Try it now, Davy Crockett! 36 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,473 {\an8}Damn... you... surface... tension... 37 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,268 {\an8}Wait a minute. 38 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,396 {\an8}If I can park in Mr. Burns' space, 39 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,065 {\an8}I can live his whole life! 40 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,484 {\an8}Quickly now, before I think it through! 41 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,195 {\an8}(chuckling) 42 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,197 {\an8}♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ 43 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,408 {\an8}♪ Who do you think you are? ♪ 44 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,410 {\an8}♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ 45 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,956 {\an8}♪ You're never gonna get my love ♪ 46 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,959 {\an8}♪ Now because you wear ♪ 47 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:08,002 {\an8}♪ All those fancy clothes ♪ 48 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,547 {\an8}-♪ Oh, yeah ♪ -♪ And have a big fine car ♪ 49 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,924 {\an8}♪ Oh, yes, you do now ♪ 50 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,717 {\an8}♪ Do you think I can afford... ♪ 51 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,971 {\an8}(German accent) Come on along, and sing our Tiki song. 52 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,431 {\an8}(Latino accent) And everyone will take their turns. 53 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,767 {\an8}(Jamaican accent) To celebrate a man who's great. 54 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:26,688 {\an8}The wiki-wakka liki-lakka magic Mr. Burns! 55 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,692 {\an8}♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka Mr. Burns ♪ 56 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,278 {\an8}♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka Mr. Burns ♪ 57 00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,864 {\an8}♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka Mr. Burns ♪ 58 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:39,284 {\an8}♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka Mr. Burns... ♪ 59 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,287 {\an8}♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ 60 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,581 {\an8}♪ Who do you think you are? ♪ 61 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,291 {\an8}♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ 62 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,210 {\an8}♪ You're never gonna get my love... ♪ 63 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,838 {\an8}(quietly) Simpson lines up his hitty stick 64 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:55,175 {\an8}and gets ready to clobber the dimpled round-o. 65 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,468 {\an8}He's calling the signals. 66 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,470 {\an8}(yelling) Omaha! 35! 67 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,556 {\an8}-Hut! Hut! -Simpson! 68 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,016 {\an8}(shrieks) 69 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,144 Incoming! 70 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,982 (yelling) There's a lightbulb out on level P-2! 71 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,150 Oh, good Lord. 72 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,569 The trapdoor is under renovation. It's not safe! 73 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,448 (grunting) 74 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,536 -Mm-hmm. -HOMER: Mosaic! 75 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:29,167 -(screams) -Congratulations. You're halfway down. 76 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,169 -(electric crackle) -(grunting) 77 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,838 What the... 78 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,008 (sighs) 79 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,385 {\an8}(screams) Ow! 80 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,513 {\an8}I'm drowning in cement! 81 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,183 {\an8}-Uh, it's actually concrete. -Whoo-hoo! 82 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,185 {\an8}Of which cement is an ingredient. 83 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:50,021 {\an8}(yells) No! 84 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,440 {\an8}(rhythmic yelling) 85 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:53,942 Oh... 86 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,777 -(Marge hums) -Hmm? 87 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:58,571 MARGE: Perfect. 88 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:02,116 (chuckles) Marge, you've thought of everything. 89 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,369 Except for one nagging detail. 90 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,330 Did I ever tell you about the time I was in a big cast? 91 00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:10,708 It was the Shelbyville Players production of Pippin. 92 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,627 -Don't worry, Homie. -GRAMPA: I went from player 93 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,296 to ticket taker in one performance! 94 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,090 There's two ways of... 95 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,300 -(seagulls chirping) -(tide rolling) 96 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,062 You are in my seat. 97 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,605 ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! 98 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,108 Asthma, glasses, asthma! 99 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,609 (grunts) 100 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,487 (cheering, yelling) 101 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,698 Oh. There's too much violence 102 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,658 in rearview mirrors these days. 103 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,456 Hey, boy, want to sign your old man's cast? 104 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,500 No problemo. 105 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,335 (marker squeaks) 106 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,879 -What does it say? -Don't worry about it. 107 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,965 -What did you write? -Sorry. 108 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,967 That's between me and everyone who sees it. 109 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,719 -I need to know! -Hmm. 110 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,555 Begins with "F" and ends in "C-K." 111 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,764 Why you little! 112 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,058 (grunting, groaning) 113 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,977 (chuckles) 114 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,897 -Tell me! -Never! 115 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,399 (grunting) 116 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,900 (moans) 117 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,486 (quickly) D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Whoo-hoo! 118 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,530 D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Whoo-hoo! 119 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:25,283 (slowing down) D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! 120 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,660 D'oh... Whoo-hoo! 121 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,539 MARGE: Thanks, partner. 122 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:34,417 We've balled up all the 13-gauge alpaca. 123 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,794 Now maybe there's something fun we can do? 124 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,880 Sure is. A puzzle. 125 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,381 "Foggy Day in Berlin." 126 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,550 5,000 pieces. 127 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:43,843 Hmm... 128 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,805 (German accent) Homer, complete the puzzle! 129 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,599 -I'm a married man! -Fine. 130 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,393 If you need me, I'll be in your schpankenbank. 131 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:56,314 FEMALE SINGER: ♪ We'll meet again ♪ 132 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,442 Marge, I don't think we should do this puzzle. 133 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,278 I know. You can't pick up the pieces. 134 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,573 That's why I've devised a grid system. 135 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:08,701 Huh? I'll hold up a piece, and you call out the number 136 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,371 and letter of the corresponding grid square. 137 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,790 Uh, I don't know. Q 15? 138 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,542 Sweetie, it's a side piece. 139 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,294 Q 15's in the middle. 140 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,213 Right. Q 15 is in the middle. 141 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,131 Nothing more fun than rules. 142 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,801 I'll make some tea to help you think. 143 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,553 {\an8}Oh, I hate being immobile and numb. 144 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,680 {\an8}If only I was free to move. 145 00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,811 (moans) If only. 146 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,813 (excited chatter) 147 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,857 It's never pleasant to see this kind of activity, Lisa. 148 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,485 Particularly on a cell phone that is so much nicer 149 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,112 than the one I own. 150 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:47,156 -(cranking) -(grumbles) 151 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,035 All the fighting seems to start with who sits where on the bus. 152 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,578 Um, Lisa, 153 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,414 you seem to have a handle on the bus problem. 154 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,041 Why don't you tackle it? But don't think I won't help. 155 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,543 I'm providing you with a sash. 156 00:06:58,626 --> 00:06:59,877 Skinner! 157 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,338 You are asking a six-year-old girl 158 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,257 to fix this school's problems. 159 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:06,884 -I'm eight. -Oh, carry on. 160 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,219 (bird caws) 161 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:11,305 What do you mean, there's a legal issue with my trapdoor? 162 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,266 And, uh, as you explain, 163 00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:15,226 please take two steps back. 164 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:17,520 The old trapdoor was perfectly legal. 165 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,939 It was grandfathered in under the Reagan-era code. 166 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,774 But once you start renovating it, 167 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,694 it has to brought up to modern standards. 168 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,697 Mm. And it has to be handicap accessible. 169 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,782 A wheelchair would never fall through the current opening. 170 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,284 (chuckling) Oh! But that's not a problem! 171 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,203 -I refuse to hire the handicapped. -That's another issue. 172 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,290 But for now, we have left ourselves open 173 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,459 to a lawsuit by Homer Simpson. 174 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,211 Fine. Smithers, go see this Simpson character 175 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,547 and trick him into signing a waiver of liability. 176 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,716 I'll discuss things with the foreman. 177 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,262 (yelling) Enrique, mas grande la puerta! 178 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:52,597 (Homer moans) 179 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,516 {\an8}Look, Homie! We got three pieces together. 180 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,059 {\an8}That's a good day's work! 181 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,895 Why don't we do one of Maggie's puzzles? 182 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,314 Cow goes in the cow-shaped hole, boom. 183 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,440 Next case. 184 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:05,443 Hmm, I thought the one good thing about you hurting yourself 185 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,070 was that we could spend more time together. 186 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,822 -You did? -Didn't you? 187 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,325 Oh, yeah, sure, of course. 188 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:15,328 Only a fool would admit otherwise. 189 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:18,080 -Mm.... -(doorbell rings) 190 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,167 -(sighs) -(sighs) 191 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:24,879 Mr. Smithers! Come in, come in. 192 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,881 (chuckling) Oh! Well, there's our tangle-foot! 193 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:29,634 -Already on the mend. -Yeah, right. 194 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,845 They say it'll be three months before I can scratch my ass. 195 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,722 Six before I can really go at it. 196 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,849 Listen, I-I don't want to take up your time. 197 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,060 I just need Homer's signature on a couple of things. 198 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,938 -First, a get-well card to himself. -(Homer moans) 199 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,773 And what else does he need to sign? 200 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,275 Oh, a... (coughing) ...waiver of liability. 201 00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:50,821 I know, I know. There are solid reasons to sue. 202 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:54,200 But do you really want to fill your life with parasitic attorneys 203 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,244 with get-rich-quick schemes? 204 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,287 Schemes? Rich? Quick? 205 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,206 Parasitic? Whoo-hoo! 206 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,959 How could I have forgotten to sue Mr. Burns? 207 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,752 That's how you get rich in America. 208 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:07,171 Sue S. A! Sue S. A! 209 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,839 Oh, Lord. 210 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,425 Finally, a chance to use this. 211 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,804 It was designed ironically, but I would die for it. 212 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,186 {\an8}Are you home during the day because you were injured at work, 213 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,690 {\an8}school, museum, church, Iraq, elevator plummet, 214 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,651 {\an8}uneven sidewalk, hit by foul ball, hit by fair ball, 215 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,403 {\an8}or Iditarod viewing party? 216 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,113 The first one! The first one you said! 217 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,906 {\an8}Call me, Maxwell Flinch, 218 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,535 {\an8}at 555-555-5555. 219 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,328 Five, five, five... 220 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,455 Wait, what was the number after the first three fives, 221 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,165 but before the last six fives? 222 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,834 Uh, Simpson, before you do anything rash, 223 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,670 Mr. Burns wanted you to enjoy this get-well cake. 224 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:50,214 -What's that writing on top? -Oh! 225 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:53,843 It's just, uh, strawberry boilerplate absolving us of liability. 226 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,178 Now just bite here, here, here, 227 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,847 nibble here, lick here. 228 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,266 Uh, your wife needs to eat this cupcake. 229 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:03,060 Sir, you cannot bribe me with cake. 230 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:06,647 Because I just ate several pies. 231 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,859 Hello, Mr. Smithers. I see you haven't given up. 232 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:13,279 (sighs) Just enjoy the cake. 233 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,073 As long as you don't eat it in front of a notary public, you're fine. 234 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,491 I'm a notary public. 235 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:20,202 You gave your ink pad to Maggie. 236 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:23,748 (moans) 237 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,334 -I'll, um, I'll walk out with you. -Don't go yet. 238 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,378 You guys can help me brainstorm a pattern for my new quilt. 239 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,881 Marge, I mean this in the nicest way-- 240 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,051 your idea of fun makes me want to blow my brains out. 241 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,218 (murmurs disappointedly) 242 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,473 Oh, Razzmatazz is perfect, Marge. 243 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,350 It's-it's uh-- it's red, 244 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,311 -but not, uh, too red. -You're right! 245 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:49,190 Why don't you stick around and we'll discuss stitching patterns over tea? 246 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,358 I'd like that. 247 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:53,611 And I'll take the cake back to the home and share it with the seniors. 248 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:55,863 -Typical. -I'll keep Dad company. 249 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:59,241 -Thank you, Bart. -GRAMPA: (moaning) Oh, I dropped it. 250 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,953 Hey, wha-what did you put down my back? 251 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,247 Could be a tarantula, could just be some yarn. 252 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,792 -I'll be at Milhouse's. -(whining fearfully) 253 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,463 (sighs) 254 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,175 What the hell? 255 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,803 Oh, it's such a pleasure to pour tea for someone 256 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,138 and not have to help him chew it. 257 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,682 We've made our choices. 258 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,685 And the world doesn't understand them, but we do. 259 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,563 -Oh! -Ew... 260 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,524 -Oh... -Aw... 261 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,528 You know, Marge, somehow I feel that more than anyone, 262 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:39,115 you understand those horrible words, "What do you see in him?" 263 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,826 I never said this, but did you ever think 264 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,452 we cling to these guys 265 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,497 because we're afraid to admit we were wrong? 266 00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,332 Do you really think that? 267 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,960 Well, I've tried to use it constructively. 268 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,962 (Marge groans) 269 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,464 I try to have the serenity to accept the things 270 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,592 I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can. 271 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:02,138 HOMER: That's what they said to me at that Alcoholics Unanimous meeting! 272 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,431 (groans) 273 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,765 LISA: Attention, bus riders! 274 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,351 My new seating plan avoids conflict 275 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,187 through the use of complex social algorithms. 276 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,606 It teams up compatible seatmates 277 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,900 and places Milhouse with no one. 278 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,820 Yet somehow, I'm still a little scared. 279 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,989 Otto, why are you sitting in back? 280 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,991 Waiting for my assignment, chief. 281 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:25,244 -The driver's seat. You're the driver. -Still me? 282 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,872 (scoffs) New management, same mistakes. 283 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,461 It's so quiet. I've never been able to hear my music before. 284 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,629 (rock music plays over headphones) 285 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,548 Ooh, it sucks. 286 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,509 {\an8}LISA: (thinking) This is just the beginning. 287 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,971 {\an8}Soon I'll have control over every aspect of their lives. 288 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:48,350 {\an8}And then I'll make them achieve their un-dreamt dreams. 289 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,644 Sherri next to Terri. 290 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,146 Jimbo next to Dolph. 291 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,731 No one next to Milhouse. 292 00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,566 Ralph next to his invisible friend. 293 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,067 Kearney next to Nelson. 294 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,819 Martin next to Wendell. 295 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,905 Cosine next to Database. 296 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,241 {\an8}(gasps) 297 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,452 {\an8}My first PG-13 fantasy. 298 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,454 Since we haven't been able to get a settlement, 299 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,956 we'll have to start preparing you for your deposition. 300 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,751 Caroline here will stand in for the opposing attorney. 301 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,461 Good afternoon, Mr. Burns. 302 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,797 Release the hounds. 303 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,133 Uh, sir, you should try to project a friendlier demeanor. 304 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,177 Release the hounds. 305 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,470 Please. 306 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:28,057 Seriously, sir, it would really be wise not to mention the hounds. 307 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,934 Oh, that's like telling Three-Finger Brown 308 00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,977 he can't play for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops. 309 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,103 (groans) 310 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,439 Waylon, now I can see 311 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:38,526 why so many women in movies have gay friends. 312 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:41,654 Like Princess Leia and C-3PO. 313 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,823 Listen, I made this for you. 314 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,783 (gasps) Oh, my God. 315 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,077 No one ever gives me a gift. Thank you. 316 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,038 No one ever tells me "thank you." 317 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,332 I think you see my true self. 318 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,585 The one I never pay attention to at all. 319 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,004 (thinking) Oh, my God. I want to kiss him. 320 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,840 (thinking) Oh, my God. She wants to kiss me. 321 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,968 -I'm a married woman. -She would look good with a mustache. 322 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,053 (cell phone vibrating) 323 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,140 (chiming) 324 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,603 Uh, I've got to go. 325 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,108 Thank God I've got a husband with benefits. 326 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:23,028 -Come here, you. -Okay, but... (exclaims) 327 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:37,167 Mmm... Smithers. 328 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,044 (Homer thinking) Wait a sec. 329 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,715 Marge is getting her emotional needs fulfilled by another man, 330 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:45,467 and now she needs me for nothing but sex. 331 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,596 I'm the luckiest husband in the world! 332 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,478 You haven't gotten that stupid signature yet? 333 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,647 No. And I'm not sure I want to. 334 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,441 You defy me? 335 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,526 Smithers, pour me a glass of water. 336 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,157 Now squeeze my chest. 337 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,325 (coughs) 338 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,327 Now, either get that signature 339 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,163 or you're in charge of restarting our plant at Chernobyl. 340 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,999 -That was us? -That doesn't leave this room. 341 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,709 Well, brother, 342 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,545 prepare to enjoy another day of calm, 343 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:24,048 peaceful behavior on the school bus. 344 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,216 I got to warn you, a lot of kids 345 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,427 are pretty unhappy with the required seating. 346 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,845 (chuckles) 347 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,432 Well, they'll be happy when I also organize cafeteria seating, 348 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:36,018 who's picked for teams, and I've divided the playground 349 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,728 into swingers and pushers. 350 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,063 That's insane. 351 00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:41,482 You just bought yourself a year of pushing. 352 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,663 LISA: (thinking) Order. Order. Maintain order. 353 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,414 Tunnel. 354 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,668 ♪ ♪ 355 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:11,845 (gasps) 356 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,932 Whee! 357 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,851 ♪ ♪ 358 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,731 This message couldn't be clearer. 359 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,692 The children need more sauce on their spaghetti. 360 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,027 -Also, their spelling is atrocious. -(tires screech) 361 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,949 Well, at least I have me photos. 362 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:32,992 (screams) 363 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,994 (laughter) 364 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,079 I thought I had made things better. 365 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:40,582 Lisa, the bus is supposed to be crazy. 366 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,917 It's the brief respite 367 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,294 between the twin nightmares of home and school. 368 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,630 The one thing a know-it-all doesn't know 369 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,091 is that everyone hates a know-it-all. 370 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,968 Did we, uh, lose anyone? 371 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,636 Just the police chief's son. 372 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,722 (beeping) 373 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,684 I bit a rat. 374 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,227 (clears throat) 375 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,188 Marge, this is the last time I'm coming by. 376 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,232 Oh. Well, that's fine. 377 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,609 I mean, I do have my knitting to get to. 378 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:08,736 ♪ Mm-hmm ♪ 379 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,989 I'm going to a living hell followed by a certain death. 380 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,866 Here's a picture to remember me by. 381 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:15,826 Taken by my grandma from her deathbed. 382 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,704 (sniffles) The last thing she saw. 383 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,500 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. 384 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,878 -(groans) -What's wrong, honey? 385 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:29,339 Oh, I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. 386 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,467 I appreciate that, and I'd like to talk. 387 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:35,137 I'm just so drained after all the time I spend with the kids. 388 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,474 -BART: What time? -I took you to that colonial village. 389 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,476 That was a pub at the airport. 390 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:43,270 I had an ale. You sat on a barrel. That makes it colonial. 391 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,606 Homer, I'm sorry, you have to understand. 392 00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:49,359 Without Waylon to talk to, I feel completely alone. 393 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,111 I totally get it. 394 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:54,114 -One question-- Who's Waylon? -Smithers. 395 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,908 Totally get it. 396 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,868 Oh, my wife really needs something 397 00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:00,579 and to get it I may have to forego my settlement. 398 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,207 Homer, you fell down a trapdoor into a cement mixer. 399 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,250 Don't you think I deserve something for that? 400 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,419 I'm just trying to do what's right. 401 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,671 Then why did you file a lawsuit? 402 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,383 I really think you should change the venue, sir. 403 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,511 You can't win a case in this town. 404 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,347 Oh, are they still mad about me eating the town panda? 405 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,807 Get over it. 406 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:23,018 -(blows nose) -Wait, wait, wait, wait. 407 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,480 I'm willing to sign anything you want on one condition. 408 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,440 Fine. What's your condition? 409 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,985 -You have to keep Mr. Smithers here. -I see. 410 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:35,656 And are you fool enough to believe a man's handshake means anything? 411 00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:38,367 -I am. -Well, put 'er there. 412 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,785 Homer, no! 413 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,538 Why doesn't anyone ever think of the lawyer? 414 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,791 Aw, if I do a slip 'n' fall on the courthouse steps, 415 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,544 -would that help? -(sniffs) It might. 416 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,841 See you Thursday. 417 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,176 And I'll see you Thursday night. 418 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,886 Oh. (chuckles) 419 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:01,473 And I'll see you early Friday morning. 420 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,226 -Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm. 421 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,562 Oh, these slippery stairs. 422 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,397 (exclaims) 423 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,441 -(gasps) Homie! -Marge, no! 424 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,360 (both grunting) 425 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:17,156 (honks) 426 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:21,535 Marge, I know Smithers was good at talking to you. 427 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:24,496 -And I want to talk to you, too. -Oh. 428 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,249 Just don't expect me to be great at first. 429 00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:33,380 Oh, honey, no one's great their first time. 430 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:34,923 It's like baking. 431 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,426 Uh, okay, well, uh... 432 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,719 I like you. 433 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,096 And I adore you. 434 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,724 You sacrificed yourself for my happiness. 435 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,934 There is nothing that makes a woman 436 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,312 feel more cherished and secure. 437 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,063 Thank you, my darling. 438 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,858 (whispers) Marge, this is going great. 439 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,777 GRAMPA: Now don't you worry, I made you both soup. 440 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,697 Ooh-hoo, it's pipin' hot. 441 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,616 Two hours in the microwave. 442 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,284 (exclaims) 443 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,961 Who knows what the "D.C." stands for in Washington, D.C.? 444 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,005 Anyone? Anyone? 445 00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:17,883 Mustn't be a know-it-all. Never again. Not worth it. 446 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:20,052 D.C. Anyone? 447 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:22,804 -Daddy's kitchen? -(grumbles) 448 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,723 Not quite. Anyone else? 449 00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:25,974 No? Okay. 450 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:30,187 Children, "D.C." stands for "District of the Capitol." 451 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:33,315 No it doesn't! The answer is "District of Columbia." 452 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,776 And, Miss Hoover, I don't want to be a smarty pants, 453 00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:38,070 but the previous answer was Texas. 454 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:41,573 Before that, 1848. Before that, Seward's Folly. 455 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:45,202 And your dentist appointment is not tomorrow, it's the day after. 456 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,662 Thank you. 457 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,085 ♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka Mr. Burns ♪ 458 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,962 ♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka... ♪ 459 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965 Subtitled by A. Vandelay