1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,297 {\an8}CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,383 (theme music playing) 3 00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:09,718 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,137 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 5 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,518 -Mom, can I get the-- -No! 6 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,894 -But it's only-- -No! 7 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:29,654 {\an8}(traditional Japanese music plays) 8 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,704 (giggling) 9 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,125 (whirring) 10 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,209 Aah! 11 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,378 ALL: Ooh... 12 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,464 {\an8}(speaking Japanese) 13 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,336 MAN: Yo, your car is ready! 14 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:29,172 1986 Plymouth Junkerola. 15 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,299 Pink Plymouth! Yo! Whoa! 16 00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:33,593 -Baby is still in the back seat. -Mine! 17 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,432 (hums) 18 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,602 (gasps) Oh. 19 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,105 (laughs) 20 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,857 {\an8}Comedy can be so surprising. 21 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,528 {\an8}The Japanese Warrior Monks' Guide to Tidying Up. 22 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,571 {\an8}Ooh, a bestseller! 23 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,281 {\an8}And no one goes to Heaven. 24 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,575 {\an8}Marge, you don't buy books at a car wash. 25 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,119 {\an8}Ooh, sushi! 26 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,499 {\an8}Okay, I read this whole book while your father 27 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,793 {\an8}was hospitalized for food poisoning, 28 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,545 {\an8}and it changed my life. 29 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,464 {\an8}I want this house to reach what the monks call 30 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,134 {\an8}the "state of en-tidy-ment." 31 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,553 {\an8}En-tidy-ment? I thought this family meeting 32 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,388 {\an8}was about reducing the carbon footprint 33 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,682 {\an8}-of my college fund. -Done and done. 34 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,642 {\an8}Wait, wait. Why is it so easy? 35 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,644 {\an8}-Moving on. -Oh, man! 36 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:27,689 {\an8}I thought your mother was gonna tell us that Grampa died. 37 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,524 {\an8}Well, the meeting ain't over yet. 38 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,609 {\an8}The monks' philosophy is simple. 39 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,903 {\an8}Take every item you own and ask-- 40 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,947 {\an8}does it still bring me joy? 41 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,532 {\an8}If yes, then you keep it. 42 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,325 {\an8}If not, you thank it for its service 43 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,994 {\an8}-and throw it away. -HOMER: Boring! 44 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,371 {\an8}Does this beverage coaster give me joy? 45 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,540 {\an8}Not anymore. (grunts) 46 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:48,459 {\an8}Not my "Oh, crap, I'm 50" coaster! 47 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,629 {\an8}You're not 50, and I don't like the word "crap." 48 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,798 {\an8}And I worry you drink too much beer. 49 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,425 {\an8}But the rest of it's good, right? 50 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,968 {\an8}That's all there is to it. 51 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,345 {\an8}Marge, before you go cuckoo with cleanliness 52 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,265 {\an8}and throw everything out, think of the kids. 53 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:05,977 {\an8}The kids working in overseas factories to make this crap. 54 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:07,562 {\an8}It's time for it to go. 55 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,190 {\an8}Coaster, thank you for your service. 56 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,941 -(grunts) -No one ever thanked me 57 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,276 when I was in the service. 58 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:17,238 All I got was a pack of cigarettes and a college education! 59 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,157 Speaking of college education... 60 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,075 -Meeting adjourned! -Oh, man. 61 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:24,996 Let's see. Car door handles, a telescope, and a hose. 62 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,081 Did this junk bring me joy? 63 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,047 (grunting) 64 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,218 Why did I wear Mother's blouse today? 65 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,555 (muffled pounding) 66 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,725 Ha-ha-ho! Thank you, Galileo. 67 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,103 Good-bye, Businesswoman Malibu Stacy, 68 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,647 Plus-Size Malibu Stacy, 69 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,899 and Nongender-Normative Malibu Stacy. 70 00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:56,527 Your attempts to enter the 21st century brought joy to no one. 71 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,238 Are they worth anything? 72 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,531 Oh, I'm afraid not, no. 73 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,033 Take 'em. 74 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,953 Aha! 75 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,623 Oh, right, because up until now I've been such a great guy. 76 00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,875 You don't want to get rid of this fake barf? 77 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,293 Still gives me joy. 78 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,629 This pencil sharpener shaped like a nose? 79 00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:17,715 That's what it is? Now I like it even more! 80 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,343 Is there anything you want to get rid of? 81 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,303 Hmm, let's see. 82 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,014 Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy... 83 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,349 Milhouse, get out of the way. 84 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:29,018 Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, and Lisa's only "B." 85 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,063 -Super joy. -Huh! It's in phys ed! 86 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,816 I don't want to alarm you, but grade point average-- 87 00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,735 3.999999999... 88 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,821 (screaming) 89 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:42,240 (humming happily) 90 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,999 Listen, Marge, you've had me throw a lot of things away 91 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,583 that I really loved. 92 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:56,170 At long last, I'm Mr. Plow! 93 00:04:56,254 --> 00:05:00,091 I was thinking we might want to save my 2014 Joke-A-Day calendar, 94 00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,719 'cause the calendar's the same in the year 2031, 95 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,887 and we're really gonna need some laughs then 96 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,556 after World War China. 97 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,391 There is one thing of yours 98 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,185 that's not giving us much joy anymore. 99 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,855 (quietly) You know what's not giving me joy is that Japanese book. 100 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:15,315 -What'd you say? -Nothing. 101 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,526 What I'm talking about is... Plopper. 102 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,361 (gasps) Spider-Pig? 103 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:25,325 ♪ Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig ♪ 104 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,285 ♪ Does whatever ♪ 105 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,287 ♪ A Spider-Pig does... ♪ 106 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,247 {\an8}We've had him since you found him, 107 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,000 {\an8}but I'm the only one who takes care of him. 108 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:37,128 {\an8}How hard can it be to clean up after a pig? 109 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,881 {\an8}(Marge grunts) 110 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,633 Okay, okay, I hear you, Marge. 111 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,097 Look, I'm the only one who feeds him, cleans him, 112 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,682 and maintains his wallow. 113 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,101 I am grateful beyond words. 114 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,270 I bet you didn't even know it was called a wallow. 115 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,106 -I certainly did! -Then tell me what it's called. 116 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,609 -What what was called? -The word I just said. 117 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,277 Marge, I don't know what the word is. 118 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,363 Let's not wallow in this all day. 119 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:08,117 (groans) Please, just promise you'll find him a new place to live. 120 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,204 -(Plopper grunting) -Aw, ha-ha-ha. 121 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,206 That's our Christmas card! 122 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,041 (grunting, squealing) 123 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,085 The music of our lives. 124 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:20,838 If you don't find a home for that pig, I'm going to withhold-- 125 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,383 No, whatever you're going to withhold, anything but that! 126 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,051 I'll find him a home! 127 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,972 Boy, I really don't want to get rid of the pig. 128 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,432 Can you talk to your mother? 129 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,643 -We have a pig? -Oh, it's hopeless. 130 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,103 You know, I love this animal, 131 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,314 so I'm gonna be very selective with his new owner. 132 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,819 Okay. World's best pig, 133 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,320 non-smoker only. 134 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,323 By which I mean he can't end up in your smoker. 135 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,742 (electronic ding) 136 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,702 Wow, I've already got a taker. 137 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:55,248 Well, I'm sure he's a nice, reputable guy. 138 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,751 (rock music playing) 139 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,045 Hello there. 140 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,964 Are you here for my pig? 141 00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:04,340 I might be. 142 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,135 I have to make sure the bacon is worth the takin'. 143 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,553 You better not eat him! 144 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,638 I have to talk to him every night on the phone. 145 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,307 -We have a code word. -Um, is it "oink"? 146 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,560 Damn it! I'm not giving him to you! 147 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:19,063 You make guys with a windowless van look bad! 148 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,732 -Need a ride? -Sure. 149 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,071 Hey, how you doing? (hums) 150 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,074 -(rock music playing) -HOMER: So, what do you do? 151 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,326 Oh, my God! 152 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,120 (Plopper squeals) 153 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:36,122 A decluttered life is a happy life. 154 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:38,291 A decluttered life is a happy life. 155 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,293 A decluttered life is a h-- (gasps) 156 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,545 Joyce Carol Oates! 157 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,589 (gasps) Oh, no! 158 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,549 I threw out my autograph book! 159 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,593 Are you nuts? You had Dean Cain! 160 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,387 I know I had Dean Cain! 161 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,639 Dad, maybe she'll sign a menu. 162 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:58,269 Books and checks-- that's all I sign. 163 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,148 What are you doin'? 164 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:05,318 You keep-a that unsliced prosciutto outside my restaurant! 165 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,904 Wait. How come he can bring a dog in, 166 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,157 but my pig has to stay outside, like a common snowman? 167 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,160 Because that-a dog is a therapy animal. 168 00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,580 He's-a licensed to help calm those with anxiety. 169 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,917 Don't lick my face-- the makeup's lead-based. 170 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,712 But for calming down, I prefer my mama's methods. 171 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,422 Shut up! 172 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,342 She don't even-a work here. (exclaims in Italian) 173 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:32,261 So if I get that anxiety diagnosis, 174 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,138 Plopper could follow me anywhere. 175 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,640 He could live in my office! 176 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,100 Hey, what are the symptoms of anxiety? 177 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,145 Oh, no, don't try that, Dad. You might get into trouble. 178 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,272 Just the thought of it is making me sweat. 179 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,191 And my heart is palpitating. 180 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,109 Lisa, honey, Daddy will help you, 181 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,112 right after you tell me the symptoms of anxiety. 182 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,698 (gasping) You're... looking at them! 183 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,743 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 184 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,662 -It's okay. -It's... I know. 185 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,372 -I'm better now. -It's gonna be okay. 186 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,332 -It's okay. I'm better now. -All right, calm down. 187 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,292 Ooh. Heart's racing like a rabbit. 188 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,794 I have to sit down. 189 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,379 Oh, isn't that-a sweet? 190 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:10,299 All the little children have-a the adult anxiety now. 191 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,718 Uh, yeah, I'm really anxious, Doc. 192 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,680 I'm not sleeping at night, I'm not sleeping at work... 193 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,932 Okay, okay, I get it. 194 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:20,685 Here's your prescription for medicinal marijuana. 195 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,311 I don't want weed! 196 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,480 I'd like a letter for a therapy animal 197 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,649 of the pig persuasion. 198 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,943 Oh, you fakers disgust me! 199 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,153 Get out! You're harshing my clinic. 200 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,698 How many opioids would you like? 201 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,157 I don't want any! 202 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,286 Oh, come on, you've got to be dependent on something. 203 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:41,622 I just want a prescription for a therapy pig. 204 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,584 Fine. Plus five opioids. 205 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,003 Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco. 206 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,255 And one for the doctor. 207 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,717 Ah, ha. 208 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:56,512 Gee, I didn't realize you had gone this far. 209 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,181 A great musician only needs her instrument. 210 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,976 And underwear-- 'cause this dress is mighty short. 211 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,769 Time for a riff of joy. 212 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,272 (playing mournful melody) 213 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,358 Uh? 214 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,778 Holding this, I feel only hours of tedious practice. 215 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,447 Where is the joy? 216 00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,907 (playing mournful melody) 217 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,665 That was beautiful, honey! 218 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,125 No, it wasn't. 219 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,544 I finally feel about my sax... 220 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,254 the way you all do. 221 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,174 (long, deep gasp) 222 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,468 (long, squealing gasp) 223 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:40,014 Okay, Plopper, I'm going to the little pigs' room. 224 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,642 Can you cover for me? Good, good. 225 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,852 Not that many mistakes at all. 226 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,687 (alarm blaring) 227 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,314 (alarm stops) 228 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,570 Okay, is that Homer or a pig that looks just like him? 229 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,447 (snorting, squealing) 230 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,991 Sounds like Homer, but smells like truffles. 231 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,118 Toss in a bag of chips. 232 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,789 (snorting, squealing) 233 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,415 Yep, that's Homer. 234 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,709 -Who's Homer? -The pig behind the desk. 235 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,463 To a less secure man, being mistaken for a pig would be a wakeup call. 236 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:13,589 This is great. 237 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,967 All I had to do was say I'm crazy on my permanent record, 238 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,886 and I get to bring a pig to work. 239 00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:21,013 -Yeah, they are pretty lax here. -That's right. 240 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,348 I got turned down by McDonald's, 241 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,642 but here they paid me the whole year I was in jail. 242 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,228 You said you were getting rid of him. 243 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,814 Marge, I'll take him to work and to Moe's. 244 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:32,149 He'll be like me-- you'll barely see him. 245 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,402 (sighs) Fine. 246 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,738 (clinking) 247 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,491 This is so hard for me to say, 248 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,828 but my saxophone no longer gives me joy. 249 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,080 I am giving it away. 250 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,874 Aw, that is really, really sad. 251 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,711 Wow, you understand how I feel. 252 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,213 Yes, because I feel about my pig 253 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,049 the way you used to feel about your honk-a-ma-flute. 254 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,009 Okay, back to what really matters. 255 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,429 So, I get the ball, and I pivot to first... 256 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,681 -(grunts) Ooh! Oh... -Oh, my God! (stammers) 257 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,517 -I'm so sorry, Dad! -Accidents happen. 258 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,603 Wow, Homie. 259 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:13,482 Spilled gravy is one of your top three strangulation triggers. 260 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,568 I could never strangle a boy... 261 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,486 in front of the pig. 262 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,906 Huh. I think he really has become a support animal for you. 263 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,493 He's totally changed the way I look at animals. 264 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,412 Pass the pork chops. 265 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,670 (chuckles) Everybody's looking at us. 266 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,007 It's like bringing Elizabeth Taylor to the Oscars. 267 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:40,968 {\an8}(sighs) 268 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,928 Can I pet your pig? 269 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,514 Of course! You can all pet him! 270 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,768 Kiss both ends. 271 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,812 Homie, those kids' hands are covered in barbeque sauce. 272 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,357 I know someone who's gonna get a sink bath tonight. 273 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,860 (children laughing) 274 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,908 (barking) 275 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,410 (growls) 276 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,415 (barking) 277 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,460 No! Get away from him! I'll spray you! 278 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,129 Dad, no! That's a snake from the petting zoo! 279 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,756 -(hissing) -(gasps) 280 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,674 -(screaming) -(gasps) 281 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,260 (barking) 282 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,763 (growling) 283 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,643 (panting) Oh, my God! 284 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,561 Oh, my God! (panting) 285 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,730 I can't breathe. Chest pounding. 286 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,733 -What's happening to me?! -You're having an anxiety attack. 287 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,902 There really is such a thing?! 288 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:46,575 Oh, the dogs contused his baby back ribs. 289 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,162 Of course, there is the luau option. 290 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,999 I will not subject him to something that has three vowels in a row. 291 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,377 Uh, sir, I'm kind of worried about a lawsuit. 292 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,505 Our Lloyd's of London policy excludes the hounds. 293 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:00,881 Ooh! Damn that Lloyd. 294 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,093 He's borne a grudge ever since I took his girl to see Lunardi's balloon. 295 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,429 -What are you talking about? -I'm not sure myself. 296 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,557 But don't worry, I'll have your swine taken care of 297 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,726 right here in the finest sanatorium money can buy. 298 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,687 HOMER: What the... 299 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:17,356 Maybe he should go to an animal hospital. 300 00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:19,400 Oh, we'll take good care of Spider-Pig. 301 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,360 (gasps) You know his secret identity? 302 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,404 Mm-hmm. And your son is El Barto. 303 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:25,531 These things are very easy to figure out. 304 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:28,367 We'll take good care of him! 305 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,328 I'm worried, Marge. His tail is all curly. 306 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,080 It's always been curly. 307 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,457 No, you're thinking of Bart when he was a baby. 308 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,543 But this is no time to argue. 309 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:38,669 He'll be fine. 310 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:41,463 This place seems even nicer than the Mayo Clinic. 311 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,966 Mayo Clinic, eh? 312 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:48,137 Should we slice him diagonally or just cut off the crust? 313 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,598 -Who cares? It's hopeless. -You fools. 314 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,017 I'll save him like I've saved a million lunches! 315 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,977 (pop) 316 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,104 (screaming) 317 00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:03,652 (exhales) It gets harder every time. 318 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,446 Mmm. 319 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:09,325 You were imagining a clinic full of mayonnaise doctors, weren't you? 320 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,160 Some were just interns. 321 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,580 Whoa! What happened to your stuff? 322 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:17,249 Gave it all away. Nothing brings me joy. 323 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,084 Lis, for what it's worth, 324 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,420 there was a time I thought my life was horrible, too. 325 00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:24,423 -Really? -Basically, it was when you were born. 326 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,926 (scoffs) Thanks. I'm all cheered up. 327 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,469 But I got over it. 328 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:31,013 And your older, smarter brother is going to help you. 329 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,432 Let's put our heads together. 330 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:34,892 -(heads click) -Wow. 331 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,769 This actually is making me smarter. 332 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:41,982 And next week, we will have the MRT, Mandatory Required Test. 333 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:47,112 Students must bring two pencils and a quiet lunch. 334 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,614 BART (on P.A.): This is WJZZ, 335 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,450 Springfield Elementary's pirate jazz station. 336 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,536 Good Lord, how is he overpowering my P.A. system? 337 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,872 We are preempting these lame-o school announcements 338 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,458 with an original composition from Lisa Simpson. 339 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,377 Warning, this may cancel math. 340 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,836 (cheering) 341 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,591 (jazz playing) 342 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,558 It sounds like how paste tastes. 343 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,602 ♪ ♪ 344 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,688 You did it, Bart! 345 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,439 You brought back my joy. 346 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,150 -(grunts) -(grunts) Hey! 347 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,528 I wouldn't have done it if I knew there was a hug at the end. 348 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:30,030 -(grunting) -Hold that thought. 349 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,700 School is canceled for the rest of the day. 350 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,285 I do have a lot of errands to run. 351 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,040 There. Good as new. 352 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,625 I also took the liberty of putting 353 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:45,004 a pop-up thermometer in him, just in case. 354 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:48,841 Excellent. Now, Doctor, the matter of your bill... 355 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:53,012 It's on me. I always enjoy the chance to get my hands inside a pig. 356 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,888 Good day. 357 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,934 (dreamy waltz playing) 358 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,769 Oh, my God. 359 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,688 This reminds me of a golden moment 360 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,815 with my beloved, ruthless papa. 361 00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:07,359 ♪ ♪ 362 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:16,201 Yale wins! And only three killed! 363 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,787 From this day hence, this beautiful creature 364 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,373 will be my faithful companion. 365 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,542 I-I thought I was your faithful companion. 366 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,420 A man can have two faithful companions. 367 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,922 But one is always his favorite. 368 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,467 ("Gertrude's Dream Waltz" by Beethoven playing) 369 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:41,018 (doorbell rings) 370 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:42,895 You've stolen my therapy animal. 371 00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:45,731 Now I have to control my own emotions. 372 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,858 Well, he's still too ill to travel. 373 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,861 (classical music playing) 374 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,915 Now what's wrong? 375 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,876 My joy's returned, but my sax is gone. 376 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:08,545 (sniffles) I just want my passion back. 377 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,964 -Come with me. -Is it related? 378 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,132 Yes. 379 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,051 (dog howls) 380 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,011 The Japanese may have tidiness, 381 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,306 but, in America, we have storage lockers, 382 00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:21,558 our only growth industry. 383 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,643 Look. 384 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,522 Oh, my God! You kept all our stuff! 385 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,690 Well, I couldn't throw anything out. 386 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,069 I wanted to be tidy, but I could only shift. 387 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,613 (chuckles) Hello, old friend! 388 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,532 (playing jazzy tune) 389 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,578 Hey! Could you keep it down? 390 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,789 Some of us are trying to throw a wedding in here! 391 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,333 Go ahead, Reverend. Start at "Dearly beloved." 392 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,585 ♪ ♪ 393 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,383 (lock clicking) 394 00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,180 (light tapping) 395 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,602 (quietly) Plopper, meet me at the side door, 396 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:09,106 the one on the east wing by the greenhouse. 397 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:12,901 Take the elevator to floor 2-R. 398 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,320 Not 2. 2-R. 399 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,156 That'll put you in the map room. 400 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,116 Take the second set of stairs. 401 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:22,536 Repeat, second set of stairs... 402 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,455 Well, finally. 403 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,708 -(barking) -Ah! 404 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,043 Heel! 405 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:34,965 I, uh, know what it's like to have true love thwarted. 406 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,051 (groans) Just take your pig and go 407 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,928 before the old man realizes what's what. 408 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,139 -What's what? -Go! 409 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:45,225 {\an8}♪ And I... ♪ 410 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:52,149 {\an8}♪ Will always love you ♪ 411 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:56,361 {\an8}♪ I will always ♪ 412 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,739 {\an8}♪ Love you ♪ 413 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:03,660 {\an8}♪ I will always ♪ 414 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,205 ♪ Love you ♪ 415 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:10,292 ♪ I will always ♪ 416 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:13,212 ♪ Love you... ♪ 417 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,799 Marge, he brings me joy. 418 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,677 And to keep him, I'll give up beer. 419 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,596 -Deal. -Uh-oh. 420 00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,726 (E.R. theme playing) 421 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,662 Fruit?! What a nightmare! 422 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,789 ("Gertrude's Dream Waltz" by Beethoven playing) 423 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,803 (dreamy waltz playing) 424 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167 (pig squeals) 425 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,965 {\an8}Subtitled by Anna Schultz