1 00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,755 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,090 Hey. 3 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,595 (exclaims) 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,519 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:22,897 (burps) 6 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,274 (tires screech) 7 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,860 D'oh! 8 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,111 (tires screech) 9 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,738 (grunts) 10 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,364 {\an8}(clacking) 11 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:34,451 {\an8}Aw. 12 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,245 {\an8}(choking) 13 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,882 {\an8}♪ ♪ 14 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,675 {\an8}(sniffing) 15 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,562 {\an8}(Homer doing Tarzan yell) 16 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,814 {\an8}And that's amore. 17 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,815 {\an8}(confused bark) 18 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,651 {\an8}(head knocks) 19 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,528 {\an8}(head knocks) 20 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:11,988 {\an8}(head knocks) 21 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,032 {\an8}(Homer chuckles) 22 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,912 {\an8}Let the word go forth. 23 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,497 {\an8}With the kids gone for the summer, 24 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,583 {\an8}we have snuggled in every room in the house. 25 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,920 {\an8}Thank you, Kamp Krusty. 26 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,630 {\an8}(footsteps rumbling) 27 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,550 {\an8}-WIGGUM: Um, excuse me. -(yelps) 28 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,552 {\an8}(footsteps rumbling) 29 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,388 {\an8}Um, putting on a little weight there, huh, Chief? 30 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,808 {\an8}Our freezer broke, Lou. Any bacon we buy 31 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,018 {\an8}we have to eat it all and right away. 32 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,730 {\an8}Uh, now, Simpson, we received an anonymous call about a gong. 33 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,858 {\an8}Chief Wiggum, can't a man enjoy 34 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,070 {\an8}the company of his wife in his own son's tree house? 35 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,571 {\an8}What, you didn't see the sign? 36 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,906 {\an8}Hmm? 37 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:57,033 {\an8}That's just some nonsense a kid wrote, Chief. 38 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,451 {\an8}That is what they said 39 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,662 {\an8}about the Declaration of Independence, Lou. 40 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,163 {\an8}Uh, who said that? 41 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,498 {\an8}King Shut-the-hell-up. 42 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,916 {\an8}Look, we're married. 43 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:07,502 {\an8}This is our home, and our kids are fine. 44 00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,921 {\an8}♪ Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty ♪ 45 00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:11,548 {\an8}(kids clamoring) 46 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,261 {\an8}Death to tennis camp! 47 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,763 {\an8}(kids screaming) 48 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,723 {\an8}I can't believe it's been six weeks 49 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,225 {\an8}since we've seen the kids. 50 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,436 {\an8}Ooh, I wonder if Bart has a mustache. 51 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,938 {\an8}(tires screech) 52 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,481 {\an8}Your kids are back. 53 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,901 {\an8}Except for the Johnsons', who I need to speak to privately. 54 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,987 {\an8}(chuckles nervously) 55 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,613 {\an8}(kids clamoring) 56 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,198 {\an8}(shuddering) 57 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,159 {\an8}I have lemon-lime disease! 58 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,871 {\an8}The basketball teams were skin versus bones. 59 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:46,124 {\an8}I'm tellin' ya, it was a real rough camp. 60 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:49,377 {\an8}I see you're sucking your thumb again. 61 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,462 {\an8}Kirk, you said he'd stopped. 62 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,755 {\an8}Uh... 63 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,757 {\an8}Kirk, we discussed this. 64 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,968 {\an8}It's the only vice I can afford! 65 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,639 {\an8}Oh, my poor, poor babies. 66 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:05,226 {\an8}Do you know what kids get after a scary experience? 67 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,978 {\an8}ALL: Ice cream! 68 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,730 {\an8}No. Counseling. 69 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,023 {\an8}Oh. 70 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,358 Kids, you've been through a horrible experience, 71 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,945 but there is good news at the end of that pain-bow. 72 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,615 A pot of goals. All right. 73 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,783 How long you gonna talk this way? 74 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,412 Well, let's just say, "I wish eyes were smiling." 75 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,331 (chuckles) Now, kids, 76 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,917 how bad could it have really been? 77 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,419 Hey, Doc, I'm fine. But other kids in my generation, 78 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,338 I love 'em, but they're total wusses. 79 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:36,507 Well, every night, they showed us The Parent Trap. 80 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,843 I mean, what kind of parents break up twins 81 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,930 and never tell them the other exists?! 82 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,224 -Oh, that's Disney magic. -(shudders) 83 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,643 Now, you all need to decompress, 84 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:50,688 so it is essential you do not go right back to school. 85 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,482 -No school? -No school? 86 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,942 On second thought, I'm fine. 87 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,069 Look, I can sit with my chair turned around, 88 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,237 just like you. 89 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,322 I knew one day there'd be another. 90 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,157 Go. Go with God. 91 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,576 Bart, are you coming? 92 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,578 (blubbering) 93 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,497 Ooh, definitely no school for you. 94 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,581 Or church. 95 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,832 (blubbering) 96 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,337 Mrs. Simpson, I would watch him very closely 97 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,089 for the next couple of days. 98 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,549 Geez, I was thinking about taking him shopping 99 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,343 for school clothes. 100 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:23,221 (high-pitched blubbering) 101 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:25,640 Why not just buy a suit for his coffin. 102 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,393 Oh. Oh, okay. Sorry. 103 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,603 Uh, somebody parked me in. 104 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,063 Toyota Corolla. 105 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,065 Well, it's got to be one of you. 106 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,566 Try the karate studio. 107 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,568 I tried the damn karate studio. 108 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,654 (groans) All right, it's me. I blocked you in. 109 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:40,905 Okay? Sorry. 110 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,658 BART: Okay, 111 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,910 time to fake me some PTSD. 112 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,161 (sniffs) 113 00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:53,126 And maybe bloodshot eyes. 114 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,087 Eh, too far. 115 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:03,261 (yawning loudly) 116 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,346 Oh, I don't know, Homie. 117 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,056 The kids seem upset. 118 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,433 Oh, they'll be fine. 119 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:11,185 Marge, children and summer are natural enemies. 120 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,855 Now, why don't we mix things up? 121 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:17,317 Tonight I'll be Penn and you be Teller. 122 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,027 Oh, okay! 123 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,903 Uh! Teller doesn't talk. 124 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,530 (both moaning) 125 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,785 (laughs) Ooh. 126 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,787 BART: Mom! Dad! 127 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,789 I'm scared. I can't sleep. 128 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,624 (whimpering) 129 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,002 I'm sorry, Homie. Bart's ten. 130 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,755 That could be the last tear that ever comes out of him. 131 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,298 He's sleeping here. 132 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:41,466 (whimpers) 133 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,301 Take a hike, homeboy. 134 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,386 (Homer grumbling) 135 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,557 What the hey? 136 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,684 Just giving him his allowance. 137 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:57,273 This pamphlet on trauma they gave Bart is very alarming. 138 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,360 Loss of appetite? Thousand-yard stare. 139 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,487 -I'm not hungry. -Where are you looking? 140 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,113 A thousand yards away. 141 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,157 (gasps) No school for you, young man. 142 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,076 I'll set up the couch as a bed. 143 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,161 Can I put Homer's pillows under my butt? 144 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,287 Of course. 145 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,997 You don't need pillows under your butt. 146 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:16,042 Your butt is pillows, genius. 147 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,836 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show ♪ 148 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,298 {\an8}And now, Itchy and Scratchy 149 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,217 {\an8}perform their cutting-edge version 150 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,676 {\an8}of the "Sabre Dance." 151 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,720 {\an8}("Sabre Dance" playing) 152 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:36,229 (screams) 153 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,525 -(laughs) -(TV clicks off) 154 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,111 Mom, can I have a jellybean sandwich for lunch? 155 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,822 Mm, how about a fruit salad? 156 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,698 Fruit? (sighs) 157 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,033 What's the matter? 158 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,576 That's what they served at camp. 159 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,079 Fine. Fine, jellybeans. 160 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,164 (groans) 161 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,958 (disco music playing) 162 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,755 (quietly) Marge, voulez vous rendezvous 163 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,549 at the dog's bed? 164 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,343 I can't move. His head's on my arm. 165 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,678 (normal voice) Can you give me a foot rub? 166 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,097 Also, we both have to sign his permission slip. 167 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,558 (groans) Maybe we should just go to sleep. 168 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,394 Oof! Can't sleep, can't snuggle. 169 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,438 Gonna do the unthinkable. 170 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,772 Homie, what do you mean? 171 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,315 Gonna go to work early. 172 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,943 (loud screeching gasp) 173 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,945 (rooster crowing) 174 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,948 Geez, there's a lot of spaces when you get in early. 175 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,993 Geez, there's a lot of donuts when you get in early. 176 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,704 Hot coffee? 177 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,539 Whoever heard of such a thing? 178 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,624 (grunting) 179 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,381 Hmm. 180 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,800 I was supposed to read this when I started the job, 181 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,302 but I didn't want the other workers 182 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,137 to think of me as a nerd. 183 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,641 (alarm blaring) 184 00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,895 (alarm stops) 185 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,816 What's he doing? 186 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,110 -He's reading. -Nerd. 187 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,737 Hey, Homer, settle a bet. 188 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,490 Red beans and rice or red beans on rice? 189 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,533 Winner gets 3,000 bucks. 190 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,036 Sorry, guys, maybe another time. 191 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,371 Homer Simpson don't want to screw around? 192 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,624 That's like Aquaman moving to Phoenix. 193 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,792 You know, Lenny, seeing Homer acting responsible-- 194 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,337 Oh, Aquaman to Phoenix, I just got that-- 195 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,422 Uh, makes me want to buckle down and do my job. 196 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,883 You know, vice president of marketing. 197 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,427 Hey, if you need me, I'll be cold-calling people 198 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,222 to see what they think of electricity. 199 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,599 (Homers chattering excitedly) 200 00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,858 Uh, Mr. Smithers, I, uh, I noticed 201 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,486 the plant's free subscription to Nuclear Safety magazine 202 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,488 was hitting the six-month mark. 203 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,199 They're gonna start charging us the full newsstand price. 204 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:54,909 And no one pays those prices. 205 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,327 (chuckles) Nice catch, Simpson. 206 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,828 (cheering) 207 00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,039 So I had the idea to cancel it 208 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,500 and sign up for another free trial under a new e-mail. 209 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,168 Wow. Wow! 210 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,212 Simpson, something is very different about you. 211 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,340 (hushed voice) I am sexually frustrated. 212 00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,008 Tell me about it. 213 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,642 Kamp Krusty! Kamp Krusty! 214 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,310 Homie, listen. 215 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,145 No ketchup! No ketchup! 216 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,856 Oh, no, not the hamburger dream. 217 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,858 ♪ ♪ 218 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,819 (thunder rumbles) 219 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,325 (Bart and Lisa gasping, screaming) 220 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:37,868 (screams) 221 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,705 Oh, my God, I really am traumatized. 222 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,290 I need help. 223 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,291 (gulps) 224 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,837 Lis! Lis! 225 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,172 (yawns) Can it wait till morning? 226 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,549 Sure. 227 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:52,883 (birds chirping) 228 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,051 Lis! Lis! 229 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,262 -Thanks for waiting till morning. -No problemo. 230 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:59,599 I had an actual nightmare about Kamp Krusty. 231 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,809 There was a body in a red life vest! 232 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,811 (gasps) What else do you remember? 233 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,063 We were canoeing. We were in a storm. 234 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,690 (thunder rumbling) 235 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:08,649 (gasps) 236 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,235 (metal rumbling) 237 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,237 It's coming back to me, too! 238 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,032 Whatever happened must have been so horrible 239 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,658 we repressed the memory. 240 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,328 But don't tell, because they'll make me miss school. 241 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,954 Maybe you should miss school. 242 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,914 I have perfect attendance. 243 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,458 You can't get that back. 244 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,377 Okay, I'll bring your carriage around. 245 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,129 (imitates hoofbeats) 246 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,215 Uh-oh, looks like snow. 247 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,051 Very funny, Bart. 248 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,555 (imitating farting) 249 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,806 Stop it! 250 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:41,724 (imitates farting) 251 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,143 (yawns) 252 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,020 (sighs) 253 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,480 Made you breakfast. 254 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,523 I also made reservations for Mother's Day. 255 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,568 I know it's three months away, but you can't book too early. 256 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,944 Wow! 257 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,196 (kisses loudly) 258 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,489 Who's that guy? 259 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,157 I don't know. 260 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,493 ♪ ♪ 261 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,665 Hmm. 262 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,125 D'oh! 263 00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:15,549 Mr. Burns, I noticed no one ever puts suggestions in the box. 264 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,260 So I took the liberty of making my own. 265 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,971 Hmm. 266 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,473 Yeah. 267 00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:23,474 (chuckles) 268 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,852 Excellent. Simpson, I'm giving you a raise. 269 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,145 More money? 270 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,022 But that's more than I make now! 271 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,857 You've done so well, Simpson. 272 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,026 I'm giving you your own trap door button. 273 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,820 Oh, thank you! 274 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,907 (kids chattering excitedly) 275 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,827 (excited screaming) 276 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,912 Excuse me. Coming through. Working out issues. 277 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,163 Boom-shakalaka. 278 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,790 I was at Kamp Krusty, too. 279 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,376 You don't see me freaking out every time I see-- 280 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,503 (hoarsely) Red vest! Red vest! 281 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,505 What does it mean? What does it mean? 282 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,298 It means, young lady, 283 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,176 that you're about to go to the head of the line. 284 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,470 Whoa, whoa, whoa. If everyone has a cut-the-line pass, 285 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,056 no one has a cut-the-line pass. 286 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,892 LISA: Quit your whining! I'm riding the ride! 287 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,145 While you were pouting, I did it again! 288 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,814 (humming a tune) 289 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,023 (gasps) 290 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,860 Oh. Maggie's asleep, 291 00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:18,988 and the kids are still having fun at the park with Grampa. 292 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,073 We're alone. 293 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,576 (moaning) 294 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,203 Marge, no! 295 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,913 I've pledged my abstinence, 296 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,915 like all the most successful rock stars. 297 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,333 Come on, mister. 298 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,586 I'm too tired to get my groove back. 299 00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:34,920 It's all on you! 300 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,423 No means no. I looked it up in the dictionary. 301 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,800 No?! No?! 302 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,094 You've never said "no." 303 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,596 Hmm? Hmm. 304 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,015 Hmm. 305 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,266 Oh! 306 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:51,103 Honey, I'm really sorry, but I'm here for you every way. 307 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,480 Except physically. 308 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,732 Also, spiritually and emotionally. 309 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:56,817 And I've never been good at zipping up dresses. 310 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,277 What are you saying? 311 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,738 Men have accomplished unbelievable things 312 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,449 when they've denied themselves whoopee. 313 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,075 The pointy pyramids of Egypt, 314 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,703 the Duomo, which I now know is a thing. 315 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,747 You don't name a company "Microsoft" 316 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,290 when you're getting some. 317 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,583 Oh, boy. 318 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:16,170 First the kids are screwed up, and now our marriage is? 319 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,588 We need therapy. 320 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,132 (eerie theremin music plays) 321 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:23,052 I said "therapy," not "theremin." 322 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,220 Honest mistake. 323 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,263 Or was it? 324 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,808 (eerie music plays) 325 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,143 {\an8}MASTERS: Welcome, Marge. 326 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,354 Homer, no need to take your pants off. 327 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,523 It's not what you think. I just had a big lunch. 328 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,942 Just a series of questions for now. 329 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,276 Then the pants come off. 330 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,653 Now, let me be blunt. 331 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,822 Are you happy with your romantic life? 332 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,825 My problem used to be too much satisfaction. 333 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,076 We hear that a lot. 334 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,994 But I'm afraid not so much lately. 335 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,247 Do you self-gratify? 336 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,166 Yes. I do everything but masturbate. 337 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,461 You know, this all started with our poor kids traumatized 338 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,255 by a budget summer camp. 339 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,341 So many perfect marriages ruined by kids. 340 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,968 We tell them it's not their fault, 341 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,428 when, of course, it's always their fault. 342 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,390 What you must do is return your children to this camp 343 00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:11,100 and face down their demons. 344 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,393 Wait, wait, wait, wait! 345 00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:15,312 There's so much more you can do when you don't think about sex. 346 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,523 That's why nuns are so successful. 347 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:19,608 You have to take the kids back to that camp. 348 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,277 Well, it beats hanging out with them. 349 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,530 Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some deviants coming in. 350 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,115 MOE: Hello? Anybody here? 351 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,449 Yeah, I brought my lady. 352 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,577 She used to be the helicopter ride 353 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,995 in front of the supermarket. 354 00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,371 (rhythmic creaking) 355 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:35,749 (mechanical clattering, bell dinging) 356 00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,964 (bell dings) 357 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,674 Oh-hooh, uh... just finished. 358 00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,926 All right, deviant out. 359 00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,305 MARGE: (thinking) My kids are a mess. 360 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,891 Homer's turned into the man I've always wanted, 361 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,726 which I don't really want. 362 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:56,103 And for some reason, we're going back to Kamp Krusty. 363 00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,607 -ALL: Aw! -(hisses) 364 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:00,733 (all gasp) 365 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,662 What happened to this place? 366 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,831 People are wearing terrycloth bathrobes 367 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,249 like they're ancient Romans. 368 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,418 Actually, more like Macedonians. 369 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:20,836 All right, come on, deer and pig. 370 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,255 It's time for you to mate and then fight to the death. 371 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,095 What happened to this place? 372 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,931 Oh, uh, Krusty cut his losses 373 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:35,392 by partnering with Caligula's World Family Entertainment. 374 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,604 They redid the whole place as an adult spa. 375 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:41,357 Uh-oh. Did I leave my sash on? 376 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,943 Why don't you kids go in here, and we'll find someone 377 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,028 who can prove to you that what you think happened 378 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,613 didn't happen. 379 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,615 So, what do we do now, get naked? 380 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,284 Ha-ha! I'm joking. Unless you want to. 381 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,621 In which case, I've never been more serious. 382 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,165 So, um, uh, which is it? 383 00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,416 Don't want to. 384 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,418 Ah, good thing I was joking. 385 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,504 (chuckles nervously) 386 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:06,840 ♪ Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? ♪ 387 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,677 ♪ Tyler stole the cookie from the cookie jar ♪ 388 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,928 ♪ What, me? ♪ 389 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,554 ♪ Yeah, you ♪ 390 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,639 ♪ Couldn't be ♪ 391 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,265 ♪ Then who? ♪ 392 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:18,686 ♪ Courtney stole the cookie from the cookie jar... ♪ 393 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,854 I've heard enough. Let's go, Courtney. 394 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,272 You, too, Tyler. 395 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,818 {\an8}Hey, Bart, Bart, now's our chance to break out of here. 396 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,904 {\an8}But I'm four loops away from finishing my potholder. 397 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,114 {\an8}Now! 398 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,532 {\an8}Ugh! 399 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,744 Marge, you know, it used to be I'd be tempted 400 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,746 by every one of these places. 401 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,290 Now I just want to know where the business center is. 402 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,709 It's over there. 403 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,585 You can print up all the free boarding passes you want. 404 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,713 Oh! 405 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,382 We didn't even fly here. (groans) 406 00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:50,300 (grumbling) 407 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,302 -Oh. Oh. -(printer whirring) 408 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:53,887 (playful growl) 409 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,060 Bart, I've seen that shed before! 410 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,645 Hey, I know your life is boring, 411 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,106 but you don't have to advertise it. 412 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,899 (door creaks) 413 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,776 (wind whistles) 414 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,694 (both scream) 415 00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:11,113 (both scream) 416 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,032 I'm remembering now. 417 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,159 We were trying to escape by canoe. 418 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:18,787 Come back! Everyone needs to watch the musical! 419 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,124 We've rehearsed for three hours! 420 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,503 But there was another kid with us. 421 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,963 LISA: (gasps) You're right! 422 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,339 BART: His name was Charlie. 423 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,549 LISA: (gasps) I forgot 424 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:33,218 because I was high on poster paint fumes. 425 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,429 BART: Quiet! We tipped over in the rapids. 426 00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,765 (gasping) 427 00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,938 Oh, my God! Charlie didn't come back up! 428 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,357 Hey, hey! Look who's back! 429 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,151 Kamp Krusty alumni! 430 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,237 We have reason to believe that someone was killed in this camp! 431 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,948 Whoa! What happened to hello? 432 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,575 (humming) 433 00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:59,453 Hard to concentrate with waves gently lapping on the shore. 434 00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:01,747 (kissing grunts) 435 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,793 Ooh! Marge, are you sure you want to do this? 436 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:09,546 Mm... I think I still want the old you. 437 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,218 {\an8}Everyone, down below the belt! Move, move, move! 438 00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:17,012 {\an8}Don't leave anything up here! We will not be back! 439 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:20,349 {\an8}(violin playing "Adagio for Strings") 440 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,739 Play something to put him in the mood! 441 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,825 (playing "Boléro") 442 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,996 Faster! 443 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,290 (playing "Call to the Post") 444 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,628 (grunting, kissing) 445 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,173 These children would like to report 446 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,717 a traumatic incident on the property. 447 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,052 (grunting) 448 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,637 Poor Charlie. 449 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,848 Charlie? Did he have a red vest? 450 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:01,932 -Yes! -Yes! 451 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,475 Can you kids keep a secret? 452 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,102 I can, but Lisa can't. 453 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,937 I told you that in confidence! 454 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,902 Charlie! You're alive! 455 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,113 And a man, I might add-- a very short man. 456 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,157 They'd like to be called "little people." 457 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,950 Yeah, not that much. 458 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,830 I was working undercover as a spy for Departures magazine. 459 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,540 They are everywhere. 460 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:29,001 Anyway, when the canoe flipped, I made my getaway. 461 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,128 LISA: But you didn't have your life vest. 462 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,130 CHARLIE: I'm a grown-up! I can swim! 463 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:34,715 And vote! 464 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,594 (whimpers quietly) 465 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,220 Oh, my God! 466 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,680 It's a miracle. 467 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,932 Whoa, I guess I really was traumatized. 468 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,018 And now I'm glad everything's all right. 469 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,485 So many stars. 470 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,447 Ever wonder how many worlds are out there, Homie? 471 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,325 Pizza. Want pizza. 472 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,618 And you. 473 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,536 That's my man. 474 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,538 ♪ ♪ 475 00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:12,461 For the fifth time today, I am not a diving platform! 476 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,048 {\an8}(snoring) 477 00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,634 {\an8}TV ANNOUNCER: Next on Fox... 478 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,348 {\an8}♪ ♪ 479 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,937 {\an8}MALE SOUL SINGER: Oh, baby, baby. 480 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,855 {\an8}Tonight's the night 481 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,191 {\an8}we're not gonna get it on. 482 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:37,945 {\an8}And when I say never, I mean forever. 483 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:42,991 {\an8}At my insistence, I will keep you at a distance. 484 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,952 {\an8}Because... 485 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:48,705 {\an8}♪ My darling, you ♪ 486 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:52,918 {\an8}♪ Have had enough of my love, babe ♪ 487 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:58,006 {\an8}♪ Mm, baby, don't get upset ♪ 488 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,551 {\an8}♪ But your needs will not be met ♪ 489 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:04,096 {\an8}♪ Mm, it's like the more you want ♪ 490 00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:07,015 {\an8}♪ The less I give ♪ 491 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,142 {\an8}♪ Baby, that's no lie ♪ 492 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,520 {\an8}Oh, yeah. 493 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,940 Subtitled by Katie Finegan