1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:03,628 (Homer grunts) 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,257 Bring up the couch. 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,633 (grunting) 4 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,555 (sighs) 5 00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,185 (clinking) 6 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,939 (theme playing) 7 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,696 {\an8}CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 8 00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:31,531 {\an8}I'm a return! 9 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,534 {\an8}(theme music playing) 10 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:37,996 (exclaims) 11 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,502 (school bell ringing) 12 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,256 (Barney belches) 13 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,885 (tires screech) 14 00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:53,344 D'oh! 15 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,098 APP: Turn left. 16 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,183 You're the driver. 17 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,477 (horns honking) 18 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,603 -WOMAN: Idiot! -MAN: Watch it, ya jerk! 19 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:02,937 {\an8}APP: Turn left. 20 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,606 {\an8}Don't look at me. Look at the road. 21 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,857 {\an8}Yes, dear. 22 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,276 {\an8}-(tires screeching) -(horns honking) 23 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:12,197 {\an8}APP: In 50 feet ago, U-turn without signaling. 24 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,364 {\an8}Oh... 25 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,991 {\an8}(tires screech) 26 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,744 {\an8}(horns honking) 27 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,829 {\an8}APP: Turn left, into Garbage Alley. 28 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,831 {\an8}-(engine revving) -(tires screeching) 29 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,335 {\an8}(tires screech) 30 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,087 {\an8}Mmm. 31 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,092 {\an8}Uh, uh... 32 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,594 {\an8}Huh? What? Huh? 33 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,346 {\an8}What the hell do those mean? 34 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,349 {\an8}HOMER: Can't stop, I have to hit one of them. 35 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:42,060 {\an8}Man or dog? Oh, it's a Snoopy's Choice. 36 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:43,853 {\an8}-(sighs) -I guess your days 37 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,314 {\an8}of eating out of the garbage are over, Gil. 38 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,358 {\an8}Hey... (yells) 39 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,902 {\an8}APP: I was never here. 40 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,071 {\an8}I saw nothing. 41 00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,908 {\an8}Now I do have to warn you, if Gil sues, 42 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,910 {\an8}he'll end up with everything you've got. 43 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,578 {\an8}But that's everything I got. 44 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,081 {\an8}Okay, kids, give me your best worried looks. 45 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,625 {\an8}Ooh, that's good worry. 46 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,377 {\an8}And, Maggie, when we visit Gil, 47 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,255 {\an8}you should think about your mom and me disappearing forever 48 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,423 {\an8}any time we step behind a wall. 49 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,970 {\an8}Where am I? Where am I? 50 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,847 {\an8}(footsteps departing) 51 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,474 {\an8}No, seriously, where did I go? 52 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:22,809 {\an8}It's so dark in here. 53 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,561 {\an8}(shrieks) Maggie! 54 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,646 {\an8}-(pounding on wall) -(glass shatters) 55 00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:32,777 {\an8}Ol' Gil, there must be something we can do for you. 56 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,737 {\an8}Hmm? Hmm? 57 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,490 {\an8}Ah, there sure is, you can let me scratch your husband. 58 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,118 {\an8}-Sure, but why? -Because you're the lottery ticket 59 00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,120 {\an8}I've been waiting for all my life! 60 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,872 {\an8}Bam! Zing! 61 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,456 {\an8}Before this goes any further, 62 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,459 {\an8}can you just take one look at our darling daughters? 63 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,713 {\an8}Mr. Gunderson? They don't let saxophones in the I.C.U., 64 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,299 {\an8}so I'll just tell you the song I wrote for you. 65 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,092 {\an8}B-flat, C, D-flat... 66 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,760 {\an8}-If memory serves, you have a son. -...B-flat, C... 67 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,596 {\an8}-Where's he at? -♪ ...Long G ♪ 68 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:03,057 {\an8}(imitates old woman) I'm here to give Mr. Gunderson his shot. 69 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,351 {\an8}Boy, the "putting him in a coma" idea 70 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,103 {\an8}was just dinner table chatter. 71 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,939 {\an8}-I did not sign off. -You tapped your nose. 72 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,649 {\an8}I was scratching it. 73 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,651 {\an8}Well, I got to put something in a coma. 74 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,739 {\an8}Why, you little... 75 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,699 {\an8}(moans) 76 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:22,035 {\an8}Well, I'll see you in court. Zing! 77 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,662 {\an8}-Ah, cha-cha-cha! -Cha-cha-cha? 78 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,498 {\an8}-That's hopeful. -Cha-cha-ching! 79 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,167 {\an8}Oh. 80 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,756 Your Honor, my client had just turned his life around. 81 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,175 His daughter recently bought a washing machine 82 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,052 and promised him the box to live in. 83 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,054 Do you think they'll send Dad away forever? 84 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,680 Oh, no, sweetie. 85 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,641 They just want all our money. 86 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,810 (gasps) Will they send us to live with other families? 87 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,689 (horse neighs) 88 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,026 Miss Simpson, from now on you shall live with us, 89 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,363 receiving musical instruction from Mr. Adolphe Sax himself. 90 00:03:58,446 --> 00:03:59,906 -(whoops) -Adolphe. 91 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:04,244 A name that will only be associated with beautiful music. 92 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,913 BART: We'll be free to do whatever we want. 93 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,165 A thousand bucks a kidney? 94 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,167 -Take them both. -Hmm. 95 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,294 BART: Ay, caramba! 96 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,129 (both sigh) 97 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:19,801 Mr. Simpson, you deliberately ran your car 98 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,637 into my paycheck... I-I mean, my client. 99 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,430 No, "paycheck" is better. 100 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,808 What possible defense could you have? 101 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,644 I had no other choice. I didn't want to hit a dog. 102 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:30,895 -ALL: Aw... -A dog? 103 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,563 -He saved a dog? -He was gonna save a dog. 104 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,899 -Wow. -People love dogs. 105 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,985 This is our key to winning this case. 106 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,237 -You're on my side, right? -I am. 107 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,446 (whoops) 108 00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,449 Now, go ahead, son. 109 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,827 You tell us how you got your dog. 110 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,412 (in Cockney accent) It was Christmas, sir. 111 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,248 We saved him and he saved us. 112 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,916 Now we love the dog, 113 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,627 and the dog gives us all the love we could handle... 114 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,962 love. 115 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,297 ALL: Aw... 116 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,299 Could the stenographer read that last part back 117 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,842 with sentimental music? 118 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,635 -(sentimental music playing) -(Cockney accent) "The dog gives us 119 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,013 all the love we could handle... 120 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,222 love." 121 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,767 Does the defendant ask this court 122 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,395 to believe that in order to avoid hitting a dog, 123 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,689 it is acceptable to hit a human-- 124 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,065 my client? 125 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,359 It's looking good, Homie. According to our consultant, 126 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,987 the toughest nut to crack is juror number six. 127 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,990 Aw, good doggy. 128 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:27,410 Ladies and gentlemen, this man is a human being, 129 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,287 just like you or me. 130 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,539 Surely his life has more value 131 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:35,918 than some creature that scoots its buttocks along the ground. 132 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,545 ALL: Aw... 133 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,798 Or-- Or gets its head stuck in an empty pickle jar. 134 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,300 ALL: Aw! 135 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,677 Or walks on a hot sidewalk 136 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,513 in a way that suggests it's dancing! 137 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,766 ALL: Aw! 138 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,185 This is ridiculous. I'm a human being here, 139 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,895 not some dumb animal. 140 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,313 What? I never. 141 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,148 Who are you calling dumb? 142 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,942 The dogs who sniff for bombs at the airport? 143 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:04,655 The St. Bernards who save lives on the slopes of St. Moritz? 144 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,157 Or this one? 145 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,242 (playing "The Maple Leaf Rag") 146 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,498 -(all laughing) -(Gil moans) 147 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,583 Now, I have a brief instruction for the jury-- 148 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,169 "There's more sanctity in a dog's loyalty 149 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:20,338 than there is in all your human laws." 150 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,346 -Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how-- -Not guilty. (sighs) 151 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,680 Case dismissed. 152 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,892 We won! It's all because of you, boy. 153 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,394 -Mwah. -CROWD: Aw... 154 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,354 Aw, I have never been more glad 155 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,189 that I didn't hit you with my car, 156 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,191 secretly bury you, get another greyhound, 157 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:43,277 paint it your exact coloring, then realize it's a girl, 158 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,696 stick on a fake wang, and pretend that she's you 159 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,074 for however long dogs live. 160 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,283 CROWD: Aw... 161 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,663 Take us to the dog park! 162 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,373 (all cheering) 163 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,375 I know I've been through a lot, 164 00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,961 but I always believed people cared about a human being 165 00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,796 more than a dog. 166 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,048 HOMER: Hold it, I forgot my phone charger. 167 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,800 (Gil screams) 168 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,135 (sighs) 169 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,137 (screams) 170 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,638 HOMER: Oh, wait, this isn't mine. 171 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,266 (moans, groans) 172 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,230 {\an8}It's now official-- a Springfield jury has decided 173 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,442 {\an8}that the life of this greyhound is more valuable 174 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,111 {\an8}than the life of this Greyhound station inhabitant. 175 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,738 Look at me, I'm a big man. 176 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,073 A big man! 177 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,450 Anybody got a quarter? 178 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,535 Got to be a quarter, not two dimes and a nickel. 179 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,953 That ain't worth jack. 180 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:36,164 What's your take on all this, Anger Watkins? 181 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,459 I'm angrier than a beehive in a paint mixer. 182 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:43,337 {\an8}This is the craziest legal decision ever made outside of Arizona. 183 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,423 What's next? Cats get credit cards? 184 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,675 Let a snail race in the Indy 500? 185 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,886 (whispers) Like that stupid movie Turbo? 186 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,555 I tried to inhale nitrous oxide to get fast. 187 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,516 I ended up naked behind an appliance store! 188 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,478 Lies! Lies! Lies! 189 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,814 {\an8}Oh, you're gonna get ten walks a day, boy. 190 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,816 (quietly) You can even bite the mailman. 191 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,234 (whines happily) 192 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,653 There he is. 193 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,156 America's number one doggy daddy. 194 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,617 {\an8}-Would you care to do the honors? -Would I! 195 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,785 {\an8}Uh, that's what I asked. 196 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,496 {\an8}Would you? 197 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,373 -(shutter clicks) -You're the greatest man 198 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,958 I know one thing about! 199 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,169 -(cheering) -(horns honking) 200 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,008 Look at all those voters. 201 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,010 What is our current position on dogs? 202 00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,887 We currently have a city employee 203 00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,972 who rounds them up and puts them to sleep. 204 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,974 What? I can't believe such a jerk 205 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,976 would even be elected dog catcher. 206 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,687 From this point forth, this town will be known 207 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,232 as the dog-loving capital of the world. 208 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,025 That'll put Springfield on the map. 209 00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:47,527 Yeah, why aren't we on the map? 210 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,821 I don't know. I made, like, 20 calls to Rand McNally. 211 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,782 They don't even know what state we're in. 212 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:56,327 Thanks to these hastily-passed untested pandering laws, 213 00:08:56,410 --> 00:09:00,164 Springfield is now the most dog-friendly city in America. 214 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,624 (crowd cheers) 215 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,376 Er, uh, arf. 216 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,137 ♪ ♪ 217 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,487 (gasps) 218 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,456 Is there anything here the dogs haven't gotten into? 219 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,083 Just the dog food. 220 00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,168 Why are you shutting me down? 221 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,671 You made a dog wait for a teeth cleaning 222 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,257 while you saved a racehorse's life? 223 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:54,427 And you call yourself a veterinarian. Ha. 224 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,178 And you know what we found inside? 225 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,555 Dogs in cages. 226 00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,724 That's no way to treat man's best friend. 227 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,935 Lock him up. In a cage. Like a dog. 228 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,395 Don't you understand? 229 00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,856 Dogs are born to follow and obey. 230 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,733 The moment the pack realizes 231 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,193 that humans are no longer their masters, 232 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:15,114 thousands of years of domestication will fall away. 233 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:18,034 They'll revert to their wild wolf nature. 234 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:22,038 Well, then I guess you'll be happy being nice and safe in jail. 235 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,540 Oh, yes, please! Take me there now. 236 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,250 You're all doomed! 237 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,210 Doomed. 238 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,797 Santa's Little Helper didn't come home last night. 239 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,258 If you were a dog these days, would you come home? 240 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,886 It's like doggy heaven out there, only real. 241 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,722 -Doggy heaven isn't real? -No! No, it's real! 242 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,766 The dogs all have harps and wings. 243 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,851 How do they play harps if they don't have fingers? 244 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,020 Um... dogs have fingers in heaven. 245 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,980 How do you know so much about dog heaven? 246 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,524 I died for five minutes and was sent there by mistake. 247 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,152 -Now leave me alone. -(whining) 248 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,448 Hmm... 249 00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:58,949 Ooh! Come on, girl. 250 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,285 Ow! Ow, ow. Just get him by the collar. 251 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,704 You can do it. Come on, don't bite me. 252 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,623 Come on. Pull. Come on. 253 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,792 Dad, we don't have time for this. 254 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,752 Quiet. I'm doing something important. 255 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,837 There you go. Yes, that's it! 256 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,090 Well, well, well, 257 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,801 look what the cat dragged in. 258 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,969 -Worth it. -Totally worth it. 259 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,137 I know. 260 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,639 (dogs barking) 261 00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,349 (barking continues) 262 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,230 {\an8}Kirk, Taquito is digging up my dahlias. 263 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,565 {\an8}-Stop him. -Mm. 264 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:34,068 {\an8}-Sorry. -(growling) 265 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,696 {\an8}(gasps) Please don't hurt me. I'm exposing my belly. 266 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,490 {\an8}See? Exposing. Exposing! (gasping) 267 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,534 (growling) 268 00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:43,244 (dogs snarling) 269 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,082 (growling) 270 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,758 (howls) 271 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,636 (chuckles) See ya later, Moe! 272 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,433 Huh? My car's not starting. 273 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,685 Oh, I see the problem. 274 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:08,978 Out of gas. 275 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,689 Well, probably safer to walk anyway. 276 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,193 Yep, nothing safer than walking. 277 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,154 This is so healthy. 278 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,364 Thanks to this walk, I'll live a lot longer. 279 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,700 (dramatic music plays) 280 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:28,622 (dogs growling) 281 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,584 Hey, here come some of my four-footed friends. 282 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,836 I guess you want to meet the guy who's responsible 283 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,546 for making all your lives better. 284 00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,131 (dogs growling) 285 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,133 Okay, wait a minute. Let me guess. 286 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,427 Collie, dachshund, Tibetan Mastiff, 287 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,554 otterhound, Swedish Vallhund, 288 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,806 Finnish Spitz, Norwegian Lundehund, 289 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,893 Catahoula Leopard Dog, Lagotto Romagnolo, 290 00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,311 and three wolves! 291 00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,313 (shrieks) 292 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,482 Stand back! Back! 293 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,486 -Ow! Oh! -(snarling) 294 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,489 You don't scare me. Your bark is worse than your bite. 295 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,073 (barking) 296 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,992 Oh, those horrible barks! 297 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,703 {\an8}(Homer whimpering) 298 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,954 {\an8}(dogs barking) 299 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,915 {\an8}(yipping) 300 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:14,293 Dr. Budgie warned them. Dr. Budgie warned all of them. 301 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,337 But did they listen to Dr. Budgie? 302 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,881 All right, that's it. I'm comin' in there! 303 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,758 Oh, for cryin' out... (sighs) 304 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,426 Maybe if I turn sideways. 305 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,012 (grunts) Lou, get the bar butter! 306 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,891 This is what happens when you buy European prison cells. 307 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,435 -(gasps) -(growling) 308 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,438 Kids, lower the Purge armor! 309 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,107 -We don't have any Purge armor. -Oh, right. 310 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,819 I always mean to buy it the day after the Purge, when it's cheaper. 311 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,154 -What happened? -The dogs have gone savage! 312 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,781 They've taken over the town! 313 00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:44,990 -(howling in distance) -(whines) 314 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,618 (gasps) No, boy. Resist the call of the wild. 315 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:50,120 Like I did when they assigned that book for summer reading. 316 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,039 Somebody help! Stop him! 317 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,000 (laughing) 318 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,169 (grunts) D'oh! 319 00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,256 Oh, we've lost him to the pack. 320 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,425 No, he's a good dog. He'd never turn against us. 321 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,554 Hmm, he's ripping the stuffing out of your car seats. 322 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,889 Oh, yeah?! You think you're so smart?! 323 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,976 Okay! I'm eating your dog food! 324 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,936 This is on you! 325 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,855 Mmm. Oh, yeah. 326 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,694 (howling) 327 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,740 Hmm. Not one student showed up to school 328 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,826 just because a pack of ferocious, 329 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,495 masterless dogs are roaming the playground. 330 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,622 -(gunfire) -GIL: Ow! Damn it! 331 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,458 I thought we sent Willie out there to deal with them. 332 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,670 Oh, I did. But he, uh, hasn't returned. 333 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:42,756 I've finally been accepted for who I truly am. 334 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,009 (howls) 335 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,595 (grunting, snarling) 336 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,682 (dogs snarling) 337 00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,684 How come I don't get a dog-proof suit? 338 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,686 Because I smell like lamb, Lou. 339 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,480 Very well. You were right and we were wrong. 340 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,859 Yes. Um, can you remove the shackles? 341 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,360 Don't push your luck. 342 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,280 These dogs, they walk around all high and mighty, 343 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,574 no regard for anyone else on the planet. 344 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,534 I mean, that's humans' job! 345 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,203 Repeal the stupid new laws! 346 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,164 Yes. Repeal the dog-- 347 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,291 (quietly) and child labor-- laws! 348 00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,044 -(crowd murmuring) -Fine, just the dog ones. 349 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,630 -I say "status," you say... -CROWD: Quo! 350 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,256 So passed! 351 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,468 Well, everything's back to normal again. 352 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:29,803 It's a pity no one told the dogs that. 353 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,639 -CROWD: Huh? -Wha?! 354 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,558 You fools have surrendered your position as alpha dogs. 355 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,102 Until you reassert human dominance, 356 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:41,106 it is you who will be calling these savage canines master. 357 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:45,027 Who among you is brave enough to tame this slobbering horde? 358 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,695 (panicked chatter) 359 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,280 (chatter dies away) 360 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,116 Well, I guess it's up to Ol' Gil. 361 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,411 Gil? Why are you helping these people who think so little of you? 362 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,080 That's why I'm doin' it! 363 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:59,166 To show everyone I'm not the town failure. 364 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,627 I thought I was the town failure! 365 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,546 -(chuckles) You're not even that. -Aw! 366 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,716 -So who will come with me?! -CROWD: None of us! 367 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,302 -One more time! -CROWD: Nobody! 368 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,639 -I can't hear you! -CROWD: Yes, you can! 369 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,517 Standing next to me 370 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,479 is the man whose life we all agreed was worth less than a dog. 371 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:24,733 I say we stand behind him as he redeems himself! 372 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,235 Even though he did nothing wrong. 373 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,654 CROWD: Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil, 374 00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:31,240 Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil, 375 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,658 Gil, Gil! 376 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,330 We've got to get Santa's Little Helper back. 377 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,000 (stammers) It's too dangerous! 378 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,752 -You kids ain't goin' nowhere! -I got this. 379 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,548 (snoring) 380 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:49,717 Fine. But we can't go out alone. 381 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,053 We need someone who knows how to fend off angry dogs. 382 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,389 (raving indistinctly) 383 00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,307 Here, boy! Come on, boy! 384 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,143 Oh, where can he be? 385 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,978 (Cat Lady moans) 386 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,230 (creaking) 387 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,693 {\an8}(jabbering) 388 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,203 Grampa, I called to make sure the kids are okay. 389 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,580 They're not okay! 390 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:20,998 The boy's got sass, 391 00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:23,167 and the girl thinks she's Queen of the May. 392 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,711 You leave 'em with me and I'll straighten 'em out! 393 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,379 I did leave them with you. 394 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,298 Why the hell would you do that?! 395 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,717 -Here, boy. -Here, boy. Here, boy. 396 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,218 (squeaking) 397 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,804 (both whimpering) 398 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,558 (gasps) It's the alpha. 399 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,394 (growling) 400 00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,730 I know that dog. 401 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:48,400 It's the one Milhouse got when he didn't wet the bed for a week. 402 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,614 (growling) 403 00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,993 We're about to die at the hands of a dog! 404 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,745 Paws. Dogs have paws. 405 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,206 Just remember the last thing you did in life was correct me. 406 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,166 Oh, that actually makes me feel better. 407 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,668 (snarling) 408 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,842 No! This has gone on long enough! 409 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,594 (yipping) 410 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,638 -You sit! -(growling) 411 00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,932 -(Marge growling) -(growling) 412 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,976 (yipping) 413 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,686 I'm sorry! 414 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,316 Mom, you've become the alpha dog! 415 00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,902 Dogs are nice. I love dogs. 416 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,071 Because, in dogs, we see the things we wish 417 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:36,198 we saw more of in people-- 418 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,576 lifelong friendship, unwavering loyalty, 419 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,704 and a willingness to eat anything you cook. 420 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,248 You rang? 421 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,416 Ol' Gil's here to save the day! 422 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,293 Where are those out of control pooches? 423 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,796 Sorry, Ol' Gil, you're too late. 424 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,423 But-- But I was supposed to redeem myself 425 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,467 and finally earn the town's respect. 426 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,177 Uh, good job, Gil. 427 00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,806 You had to stop at the Automat for an egg salad sandwich. 428 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,016 Well, at least you still have the sandwich. 429 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,893 -(growls) -Uh... aw... 430 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:09,148 -Baz, you belong with the Flanders'. -Okily-dokily. 431 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,983 Dalmatian, fire department. 432 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,026 -(barks) -(siren wails) 433 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,196 -Mr. Burns, the hounds. -Excellent. 434 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,283 Uh, since you were gone, all I had to release were the June bugs. 435 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,368 (buzzing) 436 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,578 Ah! 437 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,079 Willie, Skinner. 438 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,081 Aw, good boy. 439 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,084 (howls) 440 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:33,422 ♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪ 441 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,132 ♪ ♪ 442 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:39,011 ♪ Ooh, you make me live now, honey ♪ 443 00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,429 -♪ Ooh, you make me live... ♪ -(meows) 444 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,014 You'll have your day. 445 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,016 (meows sadly) 446 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:50,397 It's gonna be hard to cheer myself up after this day. 447 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,108 -(whimpering) -Hey, little fella! 448 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,943 You had a bad night, too, huh? 449 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,070 Come on out. I won't hurt ya. 450 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:02,367 (chuckles) You just licked away a very bad day. 451 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,994 {\an8}(barking) 452 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:05,621 {\an8}Attaboy! 453 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,789 (ominous music playing) 454 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,127 -(dog howling) -Shh! 455 00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,925 Subtitled by B. Ives