1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,376
(eerie music playing)

2
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,448
(clicking)

3
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,850
(gasps)

4
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,061
34, 35...

5
00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:28,496
37?

6
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,730
No!

7
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,500
Oh, I have to go
all the way around again.

8
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,001
(grunting)

9
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,036
(shouting)

10
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,174
(panting)

11
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,009
I had the locker dream again.

12
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,079
Oh, honey,
that's four nights in a row.

13
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,181
Stupid recurring dreams.

14
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,016
Why can't brains come up
with something new?

15
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,019
That's why they're losing
viewers to Netflix. (snores)

16
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,622
Maybe I should talk
to a therapist.

17
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,558
Sweetie, our insurance won't pay
for any more sessions.

18
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,960
Your father used them all up
on grief counseling

19
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,463
after the Halloween candy
ran out.

20
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,065
I've come to accept
that we were lucky to have it

21
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,034
while we did.
(sniffles)

22
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,869
But I know a cheap place
where you can see

23
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,272
the therapists of tomorrow
today.

24
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:14,108
Behold,
Springfield Community College,

25
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:17,411
where the students practice...
on you!

26
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:20,781
I only paid a student dentist
$12 for this brand-new crown.

27
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,416
See?

28
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,285
I don't think
it's supposed to come out.

29
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,287
That's why I paid
a student paralegal to sue him.

30
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,555
I lost!

31
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,590
-(tooth clattering)
-(humming)

32
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,893
(school bell rings)

33
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,662
-Oh, yarr.
-HOMER: Mm.

34
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,565
Yarr! Yarr.

35
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:38,566
(gulps)

36
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,568
TV must be a circle!

37
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,270
Ow! Ow, ow, ow!

38
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:46,140
Give him the full flea dip
and deluxe under-worming.

39
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,308
I'm not a dog.

40
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,976
And I've been worm-free
for two weeks!

41
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,778
You better muzzle him.
He's a biter.

42
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,413
(grunting)

43
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,683
My name is Annette,
and I'm a therapist-in-training.

44
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,117
I'm also a mother-to-be,

45
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,019
so I know
there's nothing more beautiful

46
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,088
than a child's feelings.

47
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,424
You sound so caring
and professional.

48
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,993
(quietly): When do I give you
the seven dollars?

49
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,661
There's a shoebox by the door.

50
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,129
(school bell rings)

51
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,631
So what does
my locker dream mean?

52
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,300
Am I stressed about school?

53
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,134
I mean,
schools are full of lockers.

54
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,370
Hey, who's
the almost-therapist here?

55
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,206
(Lisa whimpers)

56
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:21,775
Huh.

57
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:22,943
Hmm.

58
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:23,944
Oh.

59
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,112
Ooh.

60
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,214
Huh.

61
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:27,681
Mm.

62
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,187
You know, I think you
might benefit from art therapy.

63
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,488
Ooh!

64
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,890
Draw in these empty panels

65
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,859
to tell the story
of a typical day

66
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,028
in the life of you,
Sophia Barnum.

67
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,129
Huh?

68
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,798
Once again,
learn the patient's name.

69
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,033
Sorry, Professor.

70
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,468
Lisa Simpson.

71
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,303
Excellent. Continue.

72
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,905
Your light's still on.

73
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,342
LISA:
Art therapy.

74
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:57,978
Okay, draw a typical day.

75
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,013
(humming)

76
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,151
Ugh! Horrible!

77
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,754
It looks like it was drawn
by an eight-year-old!

78
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,088
(blows)

79
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,123
(humming forcefully)

80
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,194
Ugh!

81
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:17,064
Oh, boy, I can't wait
to take you to the park.

82
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,233
The other owners
will be so jealous.

83
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,001
You're not my owner.

84
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,736
Uh, I kinda am.

85
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,239
-(Lisa shouts)
-(erasing sounds)

86
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,675
-(shouts)
-(erasing sounds)

87
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,577
(shouts)

88
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,079
(Bart whimpering)

89
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,514
Mmm.

90
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,516
(grunting)

91
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,084
MARGE:
Mm.

92
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:40,388
I'm hearing
a lot of feelings in here.

93
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,391
You're hearing them
because I am not drawing them!

94
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,126
Aw, sweetie, drawing is tricky.

95
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:49,129
But you just need to start with
something simple, like people.

96
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,064
Those are people.

97
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,065
Ooh.

98
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,936
(grunts)
It's easy, honey.

99
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,374
Add some eyelashes here,

100
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:03,043
some crosshatching
to show shadow,

101
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,447
vary the line width here
to accent the outline,

102
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,916
-and voilà!
-(gasps)

103
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,083
That's great!

104
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,419
Now in the next panel,

105
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,086
I want her to be looking out
a window,

106
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,988
wondering if she'll ever get out

107
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,591
from under the weight
of her own expectations.

108
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,928
Well, I could make the eyebrows
come down in a "V."

109
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,130
LISA:
That says it all.

110
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,398
(Marge grunts)

111
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:27,735
Hey, Mom, what if I told you
the things I was feeling

112
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,303
and you drew them?

113
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:30,971
Okay. But I'm warning you,

114
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,140
I'm not good at drawing
turtle feet.

115
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,075
So if there are any turtles
in this,

116
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,810
they're gonna be wearing
sneakers.

117
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:37,978
Deal.

118
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,914
It starts with the story
of a regular day...

119
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,950
(jazz playing)

120
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,680
*

121
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,656
(groans softly)

122
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:26,827
Gosh, I forgot how hard school
can be for a sensitive kid.

123
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,061
It's miserable.

124
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,998
But you captured my feelings
perfectly!

125
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,666
(horn honks)

126
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,068
Annette, wait till you see
my art therapy!

127
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,837
You're gonna love it, too.

128
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,006
Please try to pretend
I'm not here.

129
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,173
Okay, Stephen.

130
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,809
(humming)

131
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,977
Hey, where did it go?

132
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,313
Best marriage counseling ever.

133
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,382
But we still need to discuss

134
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,484
your addiction
to unboxing videos.

135
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:54,688
Do not make me choose
between you and unboxing.

136
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,828
Manga!

137
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,930
(speaking Japanese)

138
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,871
It's been a week, and I still
can't find my therapy comic.

139
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,039
I'd be just mortified

140
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:15,075
if even one person saw
my private thoughts...

141
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,844
-(gasps)
-Oh!

142
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,013
(groans) Mom,
can I have permission to swear?

143
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,249
Okay, as long
as it's a tier one.

144
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:23,250
Damn it!

145
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,685
That didn't work.

146
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,186
Can I go to tier two?

147
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,055
-I'm afraid not.
-Damn it!

148
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,360
And with that seal cut,

149
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,930
we have completed the unboxing
of the outer shipping plastic.

150
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,966
Indeed we have.

151
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,100
(door opens, bell jingles)

152
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:44,472
You published my private
art therapy as a comic book?

153
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,239
Um, actually,
it's a graphic novel.

154
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,875
The distinctions
are threefold...

155
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,042
-Shut up!
-Okay then.

156
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,111
Um, in my defense,
my wife did it.

157
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,747
Kumiko, how could you?

158
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:54,982
I have acted shamefully.

159
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,651
I must commit furry cosplay.

160
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,488
(grunting)

161
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,655
Ooh!

162
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,657
There's nothing sexy
about shame!

163
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,594
Except in my native Japan,
where it's our whole thing.

164
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,797
Mr. and Mrs. Book Guy,
you had no right to do this!

165
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,965
These are
my daughter's feelings.

166
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,501
And my doodles.

167
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,935
I shall burn them on a pyre

168
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,937
and disperse them
to the seven winds.

169
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,405
That's all I ask.

170
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,073
(door opens, bell jingles)

171
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,642
LISA:
Hmm?

172
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,243
One Sad Girl, please.

173
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,645
Sad Girl's the best!

174
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,947
It's tragically delicious!

175
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,016
Wait!

176
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,018
Maybe this isn't so bad.
(chuckles)

177
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,986
(gasping)

178
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,454
My Lulus!

179
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,160
*

180
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,996
(indistinct chatter)

181
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,165
Ooh, there she is.

182
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,333
Ask for her autograph.

183
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,668
You ask her, man.

184
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,036
I'm freakin' out.

185
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,871
Wow, Lisa, our cartoon book

186
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,640
seems to have really captured
the...

187
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,875
What's that word
I'm looking for?

188
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,544
Zeitgeist!

189
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,145
Oh, hi, Mel!

190
00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,813
Say hi to Barbara for me.

191
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:03,483
I'm not your messenger boy!

192
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,885
(crickets chirping)

193
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,620
What's so great
about graphic novels?

194
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,455
They're just comic books
with no superheroes

195
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,058
and no cool sound effects
like "Thwam!",

196
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,392
"Ack-ack-ack-ack!",

197
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,995
-and "Fwwwip!"
-Snag! (chuckles)

198
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,730
Lisa, Kumiko called.

199
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:20,000
She sold all her copies
and wants us to make a sequel!

200
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:23,571
That's like a prequel
but in the future.

201
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,838
What do you say, sweetie?

202
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,674
Do you have more sad in you?

203
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,076
I've got scads of sad!

204
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,079
* Oh, no, not again

205
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,481
* There they go

206
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,884
* With pad and pen

207
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,253
* Collaboration

208
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:44,091
* Ooh, collaboration

209
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,093
*

210
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,061
* Collaboration

211
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:51,431
* Collaboration.

212
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:54,768
Okay, now draw me
overhearing the other girls

213
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,770
talking about how
they're not gonna invite me

214
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:57,938
to a birthday party.

215
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,072
Like this?

216
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,741
LISA:
Fantastic!

217
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,242
Now let's take a little break.

218
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,111
And you know what that means.

219
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,412
Hot Sharpie!

220
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,414
Hot Sharpie!

221
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,515
-Hot Sharpie!
-Hot Sharpie!

222
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,717
-Hot Sharpie!
-Hot Sharpie! (grunts)

223
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,084
(Lisa and Marge laugh)

224
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:13,186
-You almost got me! -How come
we never bond like that?

225
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,188
I don't know,
you never make the first move.

226
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,423
Okay.

227
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,092
There is something I've
always wanted to do with you.

228
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,128
("The Andy Griffith Show" theme
playing)

229
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,266
Hey, those guys stole
our fishing poles!

230
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,101
And my skipping stones!

231
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,536
(grunting)

232
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,571
-(shouting)
-(theme continues)

233
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,309
(raccoon trilling)

234
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,114
(indistinct chatter)

235
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,790
Welcome to "Chicks with Pix,"

236
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,760
a panel discussion
with women writers and artists.

237
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,261
I'm your moderator, Roz Chast.

238
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,096
You may know
my New Yorker cartoons

239
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,765
that are both funny ha-ha

240
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,767
and funny aha.

241
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,102
(laughter)

242
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,136
Silence!

243
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,306
Joining me today
are Alison Bechdel;

244
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,141
Marjane Satrapi;

245
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:10,744
and the creators of Sad Girl,
Lisa Simpson...

246
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,112
(cheering and applause)

247
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,948
We love you, Lisa!

248
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,116
...and Marge Simpson.

249
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,918
(scattered applause)

250
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,754
FAN GIRL:
We're wasting time!

251
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,656
Marjane, as the author
of Persepolis

252
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,758
and someone who grew up
in a repressive regime,

253
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,994
what advice would you offer
to young women?

254
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,996
Always remember
nothing is more valuable

255
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,831
than your own unique voice.

256
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,667
Also, when they promise you
a tote bag for doing a panel,

257
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:36,436
make sure it's not just
a reusable grocery bag.

258
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,438
Look at this.

259
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,107
Alison Bechdel, recently,

260
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,176
a lot of people have been
talking about the Bechdel Test.

261
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,679
Exactly what kind
of drinking game is that?

262
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,848
Actually, it's just
an observation I made

263
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,017
about how movies and TV
rarely show

264
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,452
two women talking about
something other than a man.

265
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,021
That's so interesting.

266
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,189
I'll have to tell my husband
about that.

267
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,991
(booing)

268
00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,459
(buzzer sounds)

269
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,395
MAN (over speaker):
Bechdel Test: Fail!

270
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,164
-* Bechdel, Bechdel
-(whistle blows)

271
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,066
Bechdel, fail!

272
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,467
Fail!

273
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,469
-Fail.
-(whistle blows)

274
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,238
Okay. We have five minutes

275
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,006
before we have to clear
the room

276
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,008
for the
"White Men in Comics" panel.

277
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,810
I have a question for Lisa.

278
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,546
I have a question for Lisa
with a follow-up for Lisa.

279
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,749
I want to talk about myself
for a few minutes,

280
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,384
then at the end, pretend it
was all a question for Lisa.

281
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,987
Does anyone have any questions
for my mom?

282
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,056
She does draw every panel.

283
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,191
Yeah, I have a question
for Marge.

284
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,160
How lucky are you
to work with Lisa?

285
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,594
AUDIENCE (chanting):
Lisa!

286
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,997
Lisa! Lisa!

287
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,032
MAN:
Lisa win!

288
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,401
Marge fail.

289
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,772
(pencil scratching)

290
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,673
Honey, I was thinking.

291
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,576
What if we did a chapter
from the mom's point of view?

292
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,212
I took a stab at writing it up.
Give it a read.

293
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,546
In front of you?

294
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,949
Um, okay.

295
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,450
Mmm.

296
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,252
(groans)

297
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,054
(chuckles)

298
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,890
What are you laughing at?

299
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,524
You left out a word here,

300
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:08,361
so it just says, "I lonely."

301
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,597
So should I start drawing it?

302
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,400
Well, there's a lot
of great stuff here.

303
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,369
Really? Because that's
what I was going for.

304
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,873
But I'm not sure this is
a Sad Girl thing.

305
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,374
Maybe it's a separate book

306
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,543
and I could write the forward.

307
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,045
Oh, I get it.

308
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,647
This isn't a real
collaboration at all.

309
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,716
You agree with those girl
fanboys.

310
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,919
You think it's all about you.

311
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,553
Hey, you can't blame me

312
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,156
if people want to focus on
my contribution.

313
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,158
I can and I do.

314
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,660
I hate to say it, Mom,

315
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,130
but maybe we should
take a break.

316
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,632
Good idea. Hot Sharpie.

317
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,769
No. I mean, maybe we should take

318
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,139
a real break.

319
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,941
-You mean... ?
-That's right.

320
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,944
I want to see other
illustrators.

321
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,011
-(Homer grunts)
-(Marge growls)

322
00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,779
-I don't even know how you could
-Stupid Lisa.

323
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,114
-say that. It's my vision.
-She's acting like a real B.

324
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,783
Ladies, there's someone here
to see you.

325
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,752
(slurping)

326
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,754
My name is Guthrie Frenel,

327
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,991
visionary theatrical director
and impish genius.

328
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:14,194
And I want to make Sad Girl
into a smash Broadway show.

329
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,963
(gasps)

330
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,664
I think he came in
through the window.

331
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:20,500
-(laughing): Oh, tubby, you're
a delight. -(Homer whimpers)

332
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,839
You want to make Sad Girl
into a stage musical?

333
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:29,009
If I may borrow a phrase
from my father, woo-hoo!

334
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,878
This is all very exciting,

335
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,045
but before we go any further--

336
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:34,814
and I ask this just
for clarification--

337
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:37,017
-what's your deal, weirdo?
-Dad.

338
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,187
Guthrie Frenel is a visionary
director and an impish genius.

339
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,289
He did a version of
Waiting for Godot

340
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,658
-where Godot appears
in the first scene. -What?

341
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,896
And that was nothing compared
to my vision for Sad Girl.

342
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,964
I want to do something new
and amazing,

343
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,200
like my all-dog version of Cats.

344
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,968
But I need something from you.

345
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,470
-Anything.
-I need your passion.

346
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,906
I need your joy.

347
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,975
Are we all together for this
three-person toboggan ride

348
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,077
down Mount Collabor-manjaro?

349
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:08,181
Well, Lisa and I did just have
a little spat.

350
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:11,718
Yeah, but conflict is part of
the creative process, right?

351
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,320
Not in my experience!

352
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,388
So are you in?

353
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:18,058
-Yes.
-Absolutely.

354
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,328
Oh, this is gonna take hours.

355
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,197
(grunting)

356
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,433
Bart, there's one thing I know
about Broadway shows,

357
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,268
they always make money.

358
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,703
So I'm already looking forward
to quitting my job.

359
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,039
Can I quit school?

360
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:35,075
I'd be a pretty lousy dad
if I said no.

361
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,745
It's our duty as artists

362
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:41,714
to rip up the contract between
audience and performers.

363
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,750
Cell phones will be turned on.

364
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:46,186
Candy will be unwrapped
during the show.

365
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,188
We'll hire performance artists

366
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,191
to make the line for the
ladies room extra long.

367
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,193
(grunts)

368
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,295
Um, how closely
are we gonna stick

369
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,630
to the story
from my graphic novel?

370
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,132
Oh, yes, story.

371
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,201
All the gimmicky stagecraft
in the world

372
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,869
ain't worth a tinker's damn

373
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,638
without a compelling human story
at the center.

374
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,540
Your story,
the unique expression

375
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,376
-of your heart and soul...
-Mm-hmm.

376
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,244
...will be neatly summed up

377
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,780
-in the narrator's first speech.
-Huh?

378
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,248
Once that's out of the way,

379
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,117
we can explore the dazzling

380
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,419
visual buffet of Marge Simpson.

381
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,920
Now feast.

382
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,155
(chomping)

383
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,991
Pass the wonderment, please,

384
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,626
but save room for the Tonys.

385
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:27,961
Oh, my God.

386
00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:29,896
It's just how I drew it.

387
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,565
It's your artistic vision
writ large.

388
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,667
Or should I say, writ Marge?

389
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,136
You should.

390
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,304
He really shouldn't.

391
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:40,140
*

392
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,308
(gasps)

393
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,676
MARGE:
It's all in my style.

394
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,648
Mom, he's ignoring my story

395
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,084
and making this all about
your drawings.

396
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,086
I know.
(sighs)

397
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,754
I'm sorry, Lisa.

398
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,423
But I can't help it
if he wants to focus

399
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,991
on the visual part of--

400
00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:01,861
(gasps) Oh, my God.
It's Bart and Grampa.

401
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,796
But they aren't even in my book.

402
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,965
And where am I?
Where is Sad Girl?

403
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,301
Sad Girl will be represented

404
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,603
by a voiceless red light
projected into

405
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,106
an empty seat in the balcony.
Bold, no?

406
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,675
But how will they know
it's supposed to be me?

407
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,145
-Storytelling.
-(screaming)

408
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,180
LISA:
Ugh.

409
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:23,483
That impish genius is really
cheesing me off.

410
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,386
All he's kept from Sad Girl
is Mom's drawings,

411
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:29,989
when it's supposed to be about
my writing and my feelings.

412
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,559
Oh, I'm so sick
of children's feelings.

413
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,960
"Feed me." "Burp me."

414
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,228
"Don't sleep for six years."

415
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,497
You're forgetting the boundary

416
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,299
between patient and therapist.

417
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,069
And you're forgetting
that you did this to me!

418
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,172
Let me tell you something, Lisa.

419
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,074
When you give birth
to something,

420
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,908
you have no control over
what it turns into.

421
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:52,011
All you can do is surrender
to the nightmare.

422
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,814
(laughing):
Sorry. I'm just so happy.

423
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,849
(laughing, then crying)

424
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,489
Never do this.

425
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,057
MARGE:
Here they are.

426
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:07,994
The official Sad Girl: The
Theater Experience T-shirts.

427
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:12,565
$45 in the lobby,
of which we keep $1.35.

428
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,502
Oh, baby, we can use that money
to buy a sailboat

429
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,670
with a double-ended
spinnaker pole.

430
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,739
-(whistles)
-Oh, ho-ho.

431
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,674
Looks good. I like it.

432
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,176
I like everything.

433
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,079
Really? You seemed a little
cheesed off earlier.

434
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,547
A mother notices.

435
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,350
Mom, Sad Girl was like our baby.

436
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,353
And you can't control
what your kid turns into.

437
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,288
If it becomes a successful show,

438
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,056
that'll be good for our family.

439
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,558
Now if you'll excuse me,

440
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,427
I'm gonna go
sit on a swing alone.

441
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,295
-Oh, okay.
-(door closes)

442
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,030
Hello, Coast Guard?

443
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,134
Get ready to search for my body
in about a month.

444
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,735
Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.

445
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:50,069
(gasps) Oh.

446
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,704
(indistinct chatter)

447
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,206
(instruments warming up)

448
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,143
-So you're okay with this?
-Sure.

449
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,645
It's an honor to have something
based on your life.

450
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,980
Even if it's nothing like
your life at all.

451
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,982
*

452
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,486
* Sad Girl

453
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,055
(woman screams)

454
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,090
*

455
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,771
What the hell does
any of this mean?

456
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,306
What? You don't get this?

457
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,075
It's so stimulating
and I love it.

458
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,977
(screams)

459
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,280
-What is that?!
-(growling): D'oh!

460
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,315
*

461
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,389
(cheering)

462
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,830
*

463
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:57,170
Uh, Guthrie, is it possible
we strayed

464
00:18:57,204 --> 00:19:00,173
a skoosh too far from what
Lisa's book is about?

465
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:03,276
Marge, this isn't You're A Good
Man, Charlie Brown.

466
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,012
Or even my production of You're
A Good Man, Charlie Brown,

467
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,047
set in a doomed
Soviet submarine.

468
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,451
This is avant-garde theater,
and it is electric.

469
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,520
(mimics electricity zapping)

470
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:17,156
Okay, I guess.

471
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,192
*

472
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,334
Oh, Lisa.

473
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,069
I'm so sorry. Hmm.

474
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,971
(grunts)

475
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,707
There, honey. Now you're
back in our show.

476
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:40,480
What the... ? That's not one of
my brain babies.

477
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,081
(light squeaking)

478
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,850
Ah! Ow.

479
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,354
(alarmed chatter)

480
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,122
Ah!

481
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,961
Which one of us
is me?

482
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,897
(alarmed cries)

483
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,532
-(explosion)
-(screaming)

484
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,937
Run for your cultural lives!

485
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,408
I'm haunted my visions
of Milhouse.

486
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,042
Ah!

487
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:12,078
(indistinct chatter)

488
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,184
(marker squeaking)

489
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,953
(slurping)
And now to read the reviews.

490
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,189
"Greatest..."
I like where this is going.

491
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,525
"...disaster in theater
history."

492
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,695
Oh, those sons of Bs.

493
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:32,064
Honey, I'm sorry
I let Guthrie make the play

494
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:35,302
all about my drawings,
and also terrible.

495
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:39,038
And I'm sorry I wasn't more open
to your creative input.

496
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,207
I blame both of you
for this disaster.

497
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,275
More wine!

498
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:43,743
I've got another project

499
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,278
for us to collaborate on.

500
00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,280
Getting your dad
in a cab.

501
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,417
Hello, Coast Guard?
I'm gonna live.

502
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,162
(upbeat piano music playing)

503
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:06,198
*

504
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,907
(saxophone solo playing)

505
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,943
*

506
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,883
Well, I still think it's good.

507
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,721
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

508
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,140
Shh!