1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,755 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,140 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,893 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,275 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,739 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:47,255 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,642 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,020 (tires screech) 11 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,482 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,776 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,838 {\an8}(laughing) Why, Homer, you silly goose, 14 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,965 {\an8}the weed whacker's just for the edges. 15 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,510 {\an8}-You're gonna be out here all day. -I'm almost done. 16 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,054 {\an8}You are a picture and a half. (chuckles) 17 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:39,390 {\an8}Well, if you're finished by tomorrow, come on over 18 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,476 {\an8}and strap on the feedbag. We're gonna fire up 19 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:42,977 {\an8}ol' Propane Elaine and put the heat to the meat. 20 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,604 {\an8}-Nummy-nummy-num! -I'll be there! 21 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,231 {\an8}Notty-notty-not. 22 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,316 {\an8}"The Flanders are having a beef-a-thon! 23 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,944 {\an8}Incredible Nedibles! Maudacious Vittles!" 24 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,696 {\an8}Hmm, I think it means he's having a barbecue. 25 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,198 {\an8}Well, why doesn't he just say so? 26 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,699 {\an8}He's trying to be friendly. 27 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,035 {\an8}You know, if you gave Ned Flanders a chance-- 28 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,829 {\an8}Oh, here we go again. Look, I don't care 29 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,580 {\an8}if Ned Flanders is the nicest guy in the world. 30 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,582 {\an8}He's a jerk. End of story. 31 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,918 {\an8}Well, we can't hold it against him 32 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,087 {\an8}just because he has things a little better than we do. 33 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,839 {\an8}Excuse me? Better? 34 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,675 Thanks a lot, Marge. You really put me in my place. 35 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,677 -Oh, Homer. -Don't get me wrong. 36 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,428 It's worth feeling three inches tall 37 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,514 to find out what kind of a person you really are, 38 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,808 Marge Simpson, 39 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,518 president of the international "We Love Flanders" Fan Club! 40 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,353 (both growling) 41 00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:27,438 Fee, fie, foe, fum! 42 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,566 I smell the potatoes au gratin 43 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:30,817 of Marge Simpson. 44 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,193 Mm-mm-mm-mmm! 45 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,611 Hi, Ned. 46 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,613 Um... Homer sends his apologies 47 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,407 but, um... 48 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,492 there was some important work at the plant 49 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,744 that only he could take care of. 50 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,913 {\an8}MAN (on TV): We now return you to exciting 15th-round action 51 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,623 {\an8}at the Canadian Football League draft. 52 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,375 And so, the Saskatchewan Rough Riders, 53 00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:49,752 who scored only four rouges all last season, Jack... 54 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,879 Stupid Flanders. 55 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:51,921 Go ahead, Marge. 56 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,131 Have a ball. 57 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:54,507 What if they came back 58 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,551 and I was dead from not eating? 59 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,511 They'd cry their eyes out. 60 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,972 "We should have never gone to the Flanders'. 61 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,891 "Oh, why did we go to the Flanders' house 62 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,268 and leave Homer alone with no food?" 63 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,896 And I'd be laughing-- laughing from my grave. 64 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,022 Heh, heh, heh. 65 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:12,233 (sizzling) 66 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,655 (barks) 67 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,574 What is it, boy? What? 68 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,743 (sniffs) 69 00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,369 Mmm. 70 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,496 Barbecue. 71 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,709 (both panting) 72 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:31,085 Ahh. 73 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,925 Mmm. 74 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,596 Hey, everyone, I'm back. Nice to see you. Nice to meet you. 75 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,556 -Hey! -Oh! 76 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,974 Hey, hey, Homer! 77 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,895 -(muttering) -Okay. Thanks for coming. 78 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,189 -You're it. -Electricity. 79 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,608 No electricity. Electricity only in freeze tag. 80 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,026 Okay. Now you're it! 81 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,861 -Hey! No tag-backs! -Yeah, you cheater. 82 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,821 You lie like a fly with a booger in its eye. 83 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,698 (chuckling) The fly was funny, 84 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:03,660 and the booger was the icing on the cake. 85 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,578 Friends, we love you all, 86 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,414 but I also have a sinister motive 87 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,874 for asking you all here-- 88 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,001 sinister being Latin for left-handed. 89 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,878 (chuckling) But enough joking. 90 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,338 -That was a joke? -Shh! 91 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,131 As of Friday, 92 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,175 I'm saying toodle-loo to the pharmaceutical game. 93 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,427 -Leaving? I can't believe it. -What's he talkin' about? 94 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:25,598 No, I kid you not. Here's the noose I had to wear for ten years. 95 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,017 -(oohs and ahhs) -(applause) 96 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,644 What are you going to do, Ned? 97 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,813 Well, sir, like one out of every nine Americans, 98 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,190 I'm left-handed, and let me tell you 99 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,067 it ain't all peaches and cream. 100 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:37,735 Your writing gets smeared, 101 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,988 Lord help you if you want to drive a standard transmission. 102 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,447 -Amen to that. -Well, sir, 103 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,783 I'm opening up a one-stop store for southpaws. 104 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,786 Everything from left-handed apple peelers 105 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,413 to left-handed zithers. 106 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,540 Going to call it "The Leftorium." 107 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,583 -(oohs and ahhs) -(applause) 108 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,338 So, Homer, I'm dying to know. 109 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:58,840 What do you think of The Leftorium? 110 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,384 It sounds like a pretty dumb idea to me. 111 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,219 Well, I know it's a little risky, 112 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,805 and it's going to be a lot of hard work, 113 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:08,141 but, gosh darn it, it's going to be a lot of fun too. 114 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,768 Fun? Where is this store, Flanders? 115 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,478 The merry old Land of Oz? 116 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,522 Oh, no. The Springfield Mall. 117 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,858 -Oh, here, you two, make a wish. -Nah! 118 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,651 -It's fun. -No, it isn't. 119 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,654 Hey, you must have something you want to wish for, Homer. 120 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,032 Hmm, let's see... 121 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,783 Nah. 122 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,036 Hmm... 123 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,330 -Hey! -Come on, Homer. 124 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,415 I've got an ambition to do some wishin'. 125 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,667 Keep your pants on, Flanders! 126 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,794 I'm wishing as fast as I can! 127 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,629 Ooh! 128 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:43,051 Heh, heh, heh, heh. 129 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,261 Eh... too far. 130 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,262 Hmm... 131 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,263 Okay, ready. 132 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,809 Yes! Oh, yes! 133 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,145 Read it and weep! In your face! 134 00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:57,315 -I've got more chicken bone! -What did you wish for, Homer? 135 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:59,025 No! No, no, no. Don't say. 136 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,276 Otherwise, it won't come true. 137 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,029 Ooh, that would be a shame. 138 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,075 Wouldn't it, Flanders? 139 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,827 (sinister laughter) 140 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,791 (maniacal laughter) 141 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,045 (choking) 142 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,259 (Homer coughs, exhales) 143 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,013 ♪ They fight and fight ♪ 144 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,890 ♪ They fight and fight and fight ♪ 145 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,308 ♪ Fight-fight-fight, fight-fight-fight ♪ 146 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,311 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show ♪ 147 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,732 ("O Sole Mio" playing) 148 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,610 Mmm. 149 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,404 (gasping) 150 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,364 (screaming) 151 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,325 ♪ Dum-da-dah... ♪ 152 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,326 Duh! 153 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,162 (snickering) 154 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,039 (laughing) 155 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,457 Bart! 156 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,043 How many hours a day do you watch TV? 157 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,796 Six-- seven if there's something good on. 158 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:05,049 Don't you think you should get a little fresh air and maybe some exercise? 159 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,135 Yeah, but what are you going to do? 160 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,262 Marge, TV gives so much and asks so little. 161 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,055 It's a boy's best friend. 162 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,473 That's the problem. 163 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,058 Even as we speak, 164 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,853 millions of children are staring at the TV, 165 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,814 instead of getting some much-needed exercise. 166 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,066 Those children's parents should be ashamed of themselves. 167 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,359 (gong sounds on TV) 168 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,028 Hello, I am Akira. Huah! 169 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,780 That didn't hurt very much 170 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:30,324 because I know the ancient art of karate. 171 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:34,454 Karate focuses the mind and gives one self-confidence. 172 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,873 People from all walks of life: 173 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,708 -Doctors. -Hi-yah! 174 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,168 -Homemakers. -Hu-yah! 175 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,795 -Landscape architects. -Huh-yah! 176 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,547 -Choreographers. -Haww. 177 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,300 {\an8}AKIRA: High karate at low, low prices. 178 00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,427 {\an8}I cannot tell a lie. 179 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:51,095 {\an8}This is a great deal. Hohh! 180 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,472 {\an8}-ALL: Ha! -(gong sounds) 181 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,390 Hey, Mom, how about if I learn karate? 182 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,017 Will that make you happy? 183 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,727 That sounds fine, Bart. 184 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,605 See, Marge, you knock TV, and then it helps you out. 185 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,608 I think you owe somebody a little apology. 186 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:04,734 (grumbles) 187 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,403 (cries out) 188 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,493 Well, if it isn't The Leftorium. 189 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,704 Hey, Flanders, how's business? 190 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:17,955 Oh, a little pokey 191 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,290 but things are going to pick up. 192 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:20,541 -(crash) -Ooh! Oh! 193 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,084 I am so sorry. 194 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,836 How much do I owe you? 195 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,172 Now, you put that money away. That was an accident. 196 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,507 Really? 197 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,549 Well, thanks. 198 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,885 Could you validate my parking? 199 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:33,930 Absitively posolutely. (chuckles) 200 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,307 So, Flanders, have you sold anything? 201 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,726 Not yet, but one of the mall security guards 202 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,436 took a good long look 203 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,688 -at a left-handed ice cream scoop. -(scoffs) 204 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,649 Greetings, I am Akira, 205 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,276 your guide on the path to true karate. 206 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,238 And this is our map, The Art of War by Sun-Tzu. 207 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,115 It will teach us our most important lesson. 208 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,952 We learn karate so that we need never use it. 209 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,328 Um, excuse me sir. 210 00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:59,288 I already know how not to hit a guy. 211 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,249 Can we break out the nunchukas? 212 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,834 Yes, the impetuousness of youth. 213 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,629 -For now, let us read. -Akira, my good man, 214 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,297 when do we break blocks of ice with our heads? 215 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,841 First you must fill your head with wisdom. 216 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,260 Then, you can hit ice with it. 217 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,636 Yo, Sensei, can I go to the bathroom? 218 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,846 You can if you believe you can. 219 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,598 Pay money to read books. 220 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,350 (scoffs) The hell with this. 221 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,770 (grunting) 222 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,356 Come on. Touch of death! Touch of death! Touch of death! 223 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:26,607 Touch of death. 224 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,151 (ghostly moaning) 225 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,528 (laughing) 226 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,029 (Homer laughing) 227 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,739 I'm telling you, 228 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,534 Flanders' store was dee-serted. 229 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,370 So, what do you think of your bestest buddy now, Marge? 230 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:42,415 -(Marge grumbles) -Dad, do you know what schadenfreude is? 231 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,293 No, I do not know what schadenfreude is. 232 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:48,045 Please tell me, because I'm dying to know. 233 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,631 It's a German term for "shameful joy." 234 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,550 Taking pleasure in the suffering of others. 235 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:57,471 Oh, come on, Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt. 236 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,682 He's usually all happy and comfortable 237 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:03,019 and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel-- 238 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,812 What's the opposite of that "shameful joy" thing of yours? 239 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:05,938 {\an8}Sour grapes. 240 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,649 {\an8}Boy, those Germans have a word for everything. 241 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,943 So Bart, what did you learn in karate school today? 242 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,613 Yeah, come on, boy, this better be worth my ten bucks. 243 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:16,532 Uh... I learned the touch of death. 244 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,160 -Ooh, the touch of death. -Permit me to demonstrate. 245 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:22,788 Lisa, shut your eyes. Soon you will be at peace. 246 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,291 -Hey, quit it, Bart. Quit it. Hey! -(Bart vocalizing) 247 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,460 Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Mom! 248 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:30,046 Bart, don't use the touch of death on your sister. 249 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,756 (screaming) 250 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,424 ♪ They fought and fit ♪ 251 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:34,967 ♪ They fought and fought and fit ♪ 252 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,594 ♪ Fought-fought-fought, fit-fit-fit ♪ 253 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,596 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show ♪ 254 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,640 Uh-oh! Got to get back to karate class. 255 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,100 (grunts) 256 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,186 -Missed a spot. -Dopey kid. 257 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,482 Alright, coming through. Outta my way. Move it or lose it. 258 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,359 -Step aside, lady. -Mmm, baby. 259 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,904 Hey, boy. How was class? 260 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,697 Today, we learned how to rip a man's heart out 261 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,824 and show it to him before he dies. 262 00:10:58,908 --> 00:10:59,950 Ooh, that will learn him. 263 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:03,913 What did you swipe? 264 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,581 An "I Love Lefty" shot-glass. 265 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,376 -Left-handed pinking shears. -Pinking shears? 266 00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,128 Let's go to the food court and steal some baked potatoes. 267 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,797 (glass shatters) 268 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,549 Hey, Flanders, when are your busy hours? 269 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,636 Oh, I expect things to start picking up soon. 270 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:21,806 Yeah, I think word of mouth is starting to spread. 271 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,475 {\an8}Hey, I hear you validate parking tickets without purchase. 272 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,394 Oh, right as rain. 273 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,813 Or as we say around here, "left as rain." (chuckles) 274 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,816 -Just stamp the ticket. -Okay. 275 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:34,360 (gulping) 276 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,363 Hey, Homer, how's your neighbor's store doing? 277 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,574 Lousy. He just sits there all day. 278 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,327 He'd have a great job if he didn't own the place. 279 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,037 (laughing) 280 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,748 Crummy right-handed corkscrews. 281 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,166 What does he sell? 282 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,001 Uh, well, actually, Moe, uh... 283 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:54,672 I don't know. 284 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,590 (chattering on TV) 285 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,301 -Hey, Lise, change the channel. -You change it. 286 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:03,097 -(vocalizing) -Okay, okay. 287 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,724 (gunshots and sirens on TV) 288 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,809 I grow weary of this new channel. 289 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,811 -Change it back. -But, Bart... 290 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,688 (vocalizing) 291 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:13,858 Apple... apple... apple... 292 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,943 Come on, candy bar. 293 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,696 Hey, I know you. You're that first apple I didn't want! 294 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:20,656 That sinks it. 295 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,783 I'm really going to let them have it this time. 296 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:32,084 Simpson, put that box on Mr. Burns' desk. 297 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,252 Chop-chop! 298 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,004 (grunting) 299 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,340 Oh, look, Smithers 300 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,884 another member of our nuclear family 301 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,302 with some helpful suggestions. 302 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:42,762 And what's your name? 303 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,013 Homer Simpson, sir. 304 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,891 Simpson, eh? Mm-hmm. I'm Monty Burns. 305 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:49,685 Ehh... 306 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,271 "Keep that handsome owner out of sight. 307 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,648 He's distracting the female employees." 308 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,108 (chuckles) Smithers? 309 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,943 Got me, sir. (chuckles) 310 00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,945 Oh, it's a real one. 311 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:03,324 "No more apples in the vending machine, please." 312 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,701 Well, that's almost a sentence. (laughs) 313 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,788 -Can I leave, Mr. Burns? -Oh, of course, and don't worry, 314 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,791 there will be plenty of apples for you. 315 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,960 Nobody will take away your precious apples. 316 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,837 But the note was asking you to... 317 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,881 No, no, no! Tell my secretary 318 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,925 I said you could have a free apple. 319 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:24,762 She'll make everything all right, I promise. (chuckles) 320 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,764 (grunting) 321 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,891 Damned infernal gizmo. 322 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,060 My kingdom for a left-handed can opener! 323 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,646 Uh, Mr. Burns? 324 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,524 Come on, Homer, tell him about the store. 325 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,900 I'm dying out here. 326 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,443 Sorry, Flanders. 327 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,071 Huh? 328 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,616 Are you sure you're not interested? 329 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:48,577 $200 is only the asking price. 330 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,371 -Sorry, Ned. -Hey, I'm flexible. 331 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,706 You don't have to pay all at once. 332 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,584 I'll be here all night, if you change your mind. 333 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,670 Hey, Flanders, is everything okay? 334 00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:00,005 Oh, yeah, sure. Thought I'd just get rid of some of the clutter. 335 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,715 See anything you like? 336 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,301 Oh, I get it. It's not good enough for you, 337 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,220 but it's good enough for me? 338 00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:09,223 Well, I wouldn't be caught dead buying this-- Hello. 339 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,475 Got your eye on the gas grill, huh? 340 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,978 -She's a butane beaut. -I'll give you 20 bucks for it. 341 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:18,440 Twenty? Homer, I paid $300 for this just last year. 342 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,734 You were swindled, my friend. Twenty bucks. Take it or leave it. 343 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,112 -Oh, Homer, be reasonable. -Sorry! 344 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,781 No cash for Neddy. Homer keep all money. 345 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,992 Bye-bye, Neddy. Bye-bye. 346 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:29,994 (sighs) All right, Homer. 347 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,579 -$20? -$20. 348 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,038 -Now I don't want it. -What? 349 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,165 I changed my mind. It was a passing fancy. 350 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,501 Although, perhaps if you threw in a few lawn chairs, 351 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:41,463 maybe that tool bench, it might rekindle my interest. 352 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,135 Hey, Bartely-boobely. Care for a steakarooni? 353 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,304 Sounds scrum-diddley-umptious, dear old duddely-doodely. 354 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,558 -(laughing) Duddely-doodely. -(both laugh) 355 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,060 Homer, this is the Flanders' entire living room set. 356 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,562 How much did you pay for this? 357 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,397 Only 75 beans. 358 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,275 $75? Ned must be desperate. 359 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,819 I'm sure you did nothing to discourage this, 360 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,946 you scavenger of human misery. 361 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,365 Hey! Keep your hands off my china hutch. 362 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,994 ♪ Let's go to Barney's Bowl-er-ama... ♪ 363 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,913 (doorbell ringing) 364 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:17,082 Good afternoon, sir. I'm Chuck Ellis 365 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,168 from the Springfield Collection Agency, 366 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,544 and I'm here to ask you why you don't think 367 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,379 you need to pay your bills. 368 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,841 Oh, I know I need to pay them, but there's just so many. 369 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,218 Does it make you feel good about yourself to owe people money? 370 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,846 We've been very patient with you, Mr. Flanders. 371 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,848 I know, but-- Wait a minute. 372 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,183 I'm Homer Simpson. 373 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,976 Ned Flanders lives over there. 374 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,396 -Oh. -Flanders is in debt? Are you sure? 375 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,774 We don't make mistakes. 376 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,068 Damned right-handed ledgers. 377 00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,779 -I can't write in these things. -Why, there's a store where you-- 378 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,656 -Hey, you said you're Homer Simpson? -Yeah. 379 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,741 -See you on Thursday. -D'oh! 380 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:52,952 Knock 'em dead, boy. 381 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,412 Kid's going to be a black belt in no time. 382 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,414 (gasping) 383 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,500 (crying) 384 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,381 Ohh... 385 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,303 ♪♪ 386 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,055 Hey, check out the saxophone. 387 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,933 Pretty boss, but there's something stuck on it. 388 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,059 Hey! 389 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,435 (plays sour notes) 390 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,895 Hey, look at me. 391 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,146 I'm Elvis, man! 392 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,439 You give that back! 393 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,565 That belongs to me! 394 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,150 If you want it, just take it. 395 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,485 (boys laughing) 396 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:29,113 Okay. We're sorry. 397 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:32,825 This time we're really going to give it to you. 398 00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:34,326 Hey, stop that! 399 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,536 (boys laughing) 400 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:39,707 (Lisa crying) 401 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,583 Hey, Lise, something wrong? 402 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,794 Not anymore! 403 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,462 You punks are about to get 404 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,673 a taste of your own medicine. 405 00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:51,468 This is my brother, and he knows karate. 406 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:54,346 -Uh-oh. -Oh, we're real scared. 407 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,724 Please don't hurt us, Bart. 408 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,268 What are you going to do? Throw your diapers at us? 409 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,020 (laughter) 410 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,355 -(moaning) -Yeah, just keep laughing. 411 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,399 It only makes him madder. 412 00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:07,735 C'mon Bart. Start them off with the touch of death 413 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,528 and go from there. 414 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,739 I think they've learned their lesson already, Lise. 415 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,866 No, we want to see the touch of death. 416 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,827 Yeah. Come on, Karate Kid, waste me. 417 00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,287 (group laughs) 418 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,295 It's funny how two wrongs sometimes make a right. 419 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,969 Homer! Over here. 420 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,974 Flanders, I want to give you your stuff back. 421 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,311 Well, there's no house to put it in, Homer. 422 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,855 Not since that nice fellow from the bank-- 423 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:48,317 who was only doing his job-- came and locked it up. 424 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,902 You're gonna live in your car? 425 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:53,072 Oh, no. It's just a little camp-out tonight, 426 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,449 then off to my sister's apartment in Capital City. 427 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,034 Hey, what do you think, kids? 428 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,494 -The big city. -(cheering) 429 00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,788 (chuckles) 430 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,665 Say, Todd, I want to talk to your Uncle Homer. 431 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,209 You're head of the car till I get back. 432 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,877 Okay, Dad. 433 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,504 ♪ Grey skies are gonna clear up ♪ 434 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,131 ♪ Put on a happy face ♪ 435 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,926 ♪ Brush off the clouds and cheer up ♪ 436 00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,928 ♪ Put on a happy face... ♪ 437 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:19,264 Oh, listen to that singing. 438 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,391 Those poor fools. 439 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,852 Homer, I'm ruined. 440 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,604 I know. 441 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,272 At times like these 442 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,858 I used to turn to the Bible and find solace, 443 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,277 but even the good book 444 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:35,030 -can't help me now. -Why not? 445 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,616 -I sold it to you for seven cents. -Oh. 446 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:41,286 You know, ever since that barbecue, 447 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,247 nothing's gone right. 448 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,917 It's like there's been a curse on me. 449 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,252 (sobbing) 450 00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,170 It's all my fault. 451 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,089 -No, it's not. -Yes, it is. 452 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,007 No! You tried to warn me 453 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,926 about gambling my family's future 454 00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,053 on some pig in a poke. 455 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,596 I didn't listen. 456 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,348 Homer, you were a true friend. 457 00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,433 -No, I was a swine. -(both sobbing) 458 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,811 -Listen, Flanders. -What? 459 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,437 Do you still have that store? 460 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,939 For two more days. 461 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,234 Then it becomes Libertarian Party headquarters. 462 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,194 I hope they have better luck than I did. 463 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,446 Flanders, you open that store tomorrow. 464 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,198 Oh, Homer, there's no point. 465 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,367 I said do it! 466 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,913 Hello, Jerry? Homer Simpson. 467 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,499 Remember last month when I paid back that loan? 468 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:31,170 Well, now I need you to do a favor for me. 469 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,922 A left-handed corkscrew? 470 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,132 Oh, baby! 471 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,676 "Kiss me, I'm left-handed"? 472 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,553 (laughs) 473 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:42,139 That's a classic. Whoa! 474 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:45,100 -Homer Simpson's on the phone. -Tell him I went out. 475 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,852 He needs you to help Ned Flanders. 476 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,145 Ned Flanders is in trouble? 477 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,315 Smithers, I'm licked. 478 00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:52,941 You open this can. 479 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,860 Okay, but you softened it up for me, sir. 480 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,362 Hold it, Smithers. 481 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,156 -I'll open the can. -But, sir, how? 482 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,617 To the mall! I'll explain on the way. 483 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:11,043 Hurry, Neddy, hurry. Oh, golly, it's a miracle. 484 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,129 HOMER: Come on, ya' lefties. 485 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,297 Oh! What did I tell you? 486 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,007 -(chuckles) -Homer? 487 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:20,469 It's all here, and it's all backwards. 488 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:21,678 That's right. 489 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,556 (excited voices buzzing) 490 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:32,397 Well, the worm has turned, has it not, my tin-plated friend? 491 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,317 Look at you-- you who were once so proud. 492 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,154 Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns. 493 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,199 My life begins today. 494 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,326 Wow! What an icebreaker. 495 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,953 Left-handed ledgers. 496 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,247 Now, I can write all the way to the edge. 497 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:51,250 (laughs) Left-handed nunchukas. 498 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,502 Wow! 499 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:57,506 The boys at the Diners Club will think I've gone quite mad. 500 00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,175 Oh, I'll have that roadster in the corner as well. 501 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,177 (crowd gasps) 502 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,472 -Yes, sir. -Huzzah for the shopkeep. 503 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,432 ALL: Huzzah! 504 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,228 Homer, affordable tract housing made us neighbors, 505 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,105 but you made us friends. 506 00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:14,564 To Ned Flanders, 507 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,359 the richest left-handed man in town. 508 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,111 -(strums) -Everybody! 509 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,612 ♪ Grey skies are gonna clear up ♪ 510 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:23,156 ♪ Stick out that noble chin ♪ 511 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,951 ♪ Wipe off that full-of-doubt look ♪ 512 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,787 ♪ Slap on a happy grin ♪ 513 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:34,167 ♪ And spread sunshine all over the place ♪ 514 00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:39,006 ♪ Just put on a happy face ♪ 515 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,722 {\an8}♪♪ 516 00:22:49,242 --> 00:22:50,827 Shh! 517 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,958 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.