1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:14,973 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,394 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,525 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,905 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,464 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,893 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,270 (tires screech) 11 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,875 {\an8}(dance music playing) 14 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,044 {\an8}Oh, ain't that cute? 15 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,382 {\an8}Hey! Where in God's name did you learn that kind of... 16 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,134 {\an8}dancing? 17 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,430 {\an8}Whoa. 18 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,973 {\an8}Ooh. 19 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,141 {\an8}Oh, yeah. 20 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,392 {\an8}Dad, can I have some money 21 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,936 {\an8}to buy Bart a birthday present? 22 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,188 {\an8}Money. 23 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,649 {\an8}Dad, this is $110. 24 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,818 {\an8}-Oh, sorry. -MAN: That's very righteous. 25 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,820 {\an8}Funky See, Funky Do will be back to lip sync 26 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,198 {\an8}another one of their hits right after this. 27 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,992 ANNOUNCER: Hey, kids, why sit in front of the TV 28 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,079 when you can be on the radio? 29 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,706 ♪ We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy ♪ 30 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,875 ♪ Across the U.S.A. ♪ 31 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,962 ♪ Convoy ♪ 32 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,213 That could be Bart. 33 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,257 Throw away your bulky transmitters 34 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,424 and broadcasting towers. 35 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,468 The Superstar Celebrity Microphone 36 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,887 lets you hear your voice through any A.M. radio. 37 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,139 Hey, good-looking, 38 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,349 we'll be back to pick you up later. 39 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,643 Whew! He's in for some loving. 40 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:26,312 It's the perfect gift for birthdays, graduations, 41 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,439 -board meetings. -You're fired. 42 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,108 Hmm. Bart's birthday's coming up. 43 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,860 But order now, supply is limited. 44 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,487 -(gasps) Limited? -(dialing) 45 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,406 Do you have any of those microphones left? 46 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,491 Yeah, a couple. 47 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,243 You know, Marge, 48 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,453 Bart's really going to like my birthday present this year. 49 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,663 It won't be like those shoe trees 50 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,039 I got him last year 51 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,542 or the shelf paper I bought him for Christmas. 52 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,378 -I'll buy his love yet. -Mmm, yeah. 53 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,591 (whistling "Happy Birthday") 54 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,973 Okay, Sideshow Mel, bring out the birthday cake. 55 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,811 (children laughing) 56 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,899 (cheering) 57 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,234 Hey, kids, while Sideshow Mel mops up, 58 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,946 Let's see the names of our Krusty birthday pals for today. 59 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,823 All right, here comes my name. 60 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,745 Wow. Best eight bucks I ever spent. 61 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,039 Bart, your Grampa's on the phone. 62 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,416 He wants to wish you a happy birthday. 63 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:29,542 Isn't that nice? 64 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,169 Take a message. 65 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,213 Right now, I'm off to hit 46 local merchants 66 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,589 for free birthday goods and services. 67 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,843 I'm here for my free birthday sundae. 68 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,970 Eat it and get out. 69 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,016 Digital audio tape, my butt. 70 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,393 When I was a kid, we had compact discs, 71 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,561 and I don't recall no one complaining. 72 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:49,687 Damn right. 73 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,691 ♪♪ (tango music playing) 74 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,947 {\an8}-(watch alarm beeping) -Sorry, Rosarita. 75 00:03:59,030 --> 00:03:59,822 {\an8}I got to get to my birthday party. 76 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,532 Farewell, Señor Bart. 77 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,957 Hey, good to see you. Glad you could make it. 78 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,542 Toby, have you lost weight? 79 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,087 Uh-oh, here comes trouble. 80 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,296 (chuckles) 81 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,258 It's Wall E.! 82 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,717 (kids cheering) 83 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,886 Hey, Wall E., do something funny. 84 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,388 WALL E.: Hey, later, okay? 85 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,973 Hey, why don't you go bug your parents? 86 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,518 Cool, Larry the Looter. 87 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:36,359 (chuckles) All right, stick it to the man. 88 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,537 (groans) 89 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,249 {\an8}Hey, there. I hear it's your birthday. 90 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,376 {\an8}-How old are you? -Well, I'm... 91 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,754 {\an8}That's great. Would you like us to sing you a special song? 92 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,256 {\an8}-Hell no. -You got it. 93 00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,716 Ready, Señor Beaveratti? 94 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,843 I'm a-ready. 95 00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,053 And a-one, and a-two... 96 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,347 (singing off-key) ♪ You're the birthday ♪ 97 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,308 ♪ You're the birthday ♪ 98 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:11,894 ♪ You're the birthday boy or girl... ♪ 99 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,324 What the... 100 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,284 -It's a label maker. -Mm-hmm. 101 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,910 We have one at home. 102 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,370 Before we got it, I was always finding 103 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,205 Patty's stubble in my leg razor. 104 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,457 (groans) 105 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:42,967 Bart, I'll bet you think 106 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,344 nothing's going to top that cactus. 107 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:47,221 Well, check out my present. 108 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,268 -Next. -Bart, be polite. 109 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,812 -Next, please. -Bart, I've noticed 110 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:58,274 your birthday presents are a poor crop at best. 111 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,568 I hope this turns the tide. 112 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,864 Ooh, just gorgeous. 113 00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:06,657 Now we can be twins. 114 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,416 (quizzical growl) 115 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,467 Aw, there's only one can of beer left, and it's Bart's. 116 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,803 Hey, boy, how's the microphone working? 117 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,763 Fine. 118 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:32,308 Bart! I would love to get a present like that. 119 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,643 Here you go. Enjoy. 120 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,061 D'oh! 121 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:38,064 Listen boy, this is a great invention. Watch. 122 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,108 (off-key) ♪ We got a great big convoy ♪ 123 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,318 ♪ Rocking through the night ♪ 124 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,322 ♪ We got a great big convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight? ♪ 125 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,865 -♪ Convoy ♪ -(dog howling) 126 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,158 Quit it, Dad! 127 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,868 Hey, good-looking, 128 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,829 we'll be back for some dinner later. 129 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,247 What did you say? 130 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,290 I can't understand you with all that distortion. 131 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,291 (groans) 132 00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,795 What a crappy birthday. 133 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,506 You know Bart, I don't think this is such a bad present. 134 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,968 Maybe you just shouldn't talk into it as loud as your father does. 135 00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:09,262 Testing. 136 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,888 Testing one-two-three. 137 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,098 Oh, my. 138 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,433 Do I sound like that? 139 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,767 Hey, it does work. 140 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,353 I bet you could have a lot of fun with this. 141 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,188 Why don't you go show your father? 142 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,857 Hmm. 143 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,609 Mmm, chocolate. 144 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:24,610 D'oh! 145 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,697 Mmm, chocolate. 146 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,907 D'oh! 147 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,451 Marge, we need some more 148 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,953 vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream. 149 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:36,539 MARGE: I'll get some at the store tomorrow, Homer. 150 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,333 Mmm, chocolate. 151 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,752 BART: People of earth, this is Bartron-- 152 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,422 commander of the Martian invasion force. 153 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,549 Your planet is in our hands. 154 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,260 Resistance is useless. 155 00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,553 (screams) 156 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,388 We have captured your president. 157 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,015 He was delicious. 158 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:57,059 -Why, you little... -(gagging) 159 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,186 Wait a minute. 160 00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,896 Does this mean you like my present? 161 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,063 Uh-huh. 162 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,858 Oh... Just promise me 163 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,359 you won't play any more practical jokes. 164 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,569 I promise. 165 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,614 (Bart chuckling) 166 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,496 Mama. Mama. 167 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,582 (gasps) Maggie, you talked! 168 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,459 Can you say "mama" again? 169 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,960 Sorry, lady. 170 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,795 Show's over. 171 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,172 Oh, Bart. 172 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,590 (laughing) 173 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,009 I dreamed I was married to Corey, 174 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,677 and we lived on a pony farm, 175 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,763 and Corey was always walking around 176 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,139 with his shirt off. 177 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,767 (both laughing) 178 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:38,976 Oh, brother. 179 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,146 (fart noise) 180 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,147 (laughing) 181 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,942 Mrs. Krabapple, that was uncalled for. 182 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,443 (grumbling) 183 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,945 Bravo! 184 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,821 Well done, old man. 185 00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:52,865 Hmm. 186 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,954 Rod, Todd, this is God. 187 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,039 How did you get on the radio? 188 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,874 What do you mean, "how did I get on the radio"? 189 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,126 I created the universe, stupid kids. 190 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,169 Forgive my brother. 191 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,629 We believe you. 192 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,713 Talk is cheap. 193 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,173 Perhaps a test of thy faith. 194 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,175 Walk through the wall. 195 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,511 I will remove it for you... 196 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,888 ...later. (laughing) 197 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,473 What do you want from us? 198 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,849 I got a job for thee. 199 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,977 Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen 200 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,062 and leave them on the Simpsons' porch. 201 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,064 But those cookies belong to our parents. 202 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,900 (frustrated sigh) Look, do you want a happy God 203 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,902 -or a vengeful God? -Happy God. 204 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,612 Then quit flapping your lip, and make with the cookies! 205 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,281 -Yes, sir. -Yes, sir. 206 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,326 (whistling) 207 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:40,413 Whoops. 208 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,916 (humming) 209 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,585 BART: Help! Help! 210 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:49,213 Sounds like trouble a-brewing at the old well! 211 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,756 Help me, please. 212 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,174 I fell down the well! 213 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,884 I'll get help, laddie. 214 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,928 A little nip of courage. 215 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,187 Out of my way! 216 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,189 Look out, you horse's arse! 217 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,441 (laughing) 218 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:09,483 Sucker. 219 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,279 Huh? Hey, what's up? 220 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,698 Some poor kid fell down a well. 221 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:16,657 Yes! 222 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,912 (high-pitched voice) My name is Timmy O'Toole. 223 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,456 I just turned ten years old. 224 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,124 Timmy, where are your parents? 225 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,793 Uh... I have no family. 226 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,503 I tried to enroll in school, 227 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,631 but your Principal Skinner turned me away 228 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,841 -because of my shabby clothes. -(crowd gasps) 229 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:34,800 He's a liar. 230 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,510 (crowd booing) 231 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:39,764 The circumference of the well is 34 inches. 232 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,390 So, unfortunately, 233 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,808 not one member of our city's police force 234 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,311 is slender enough to rescue the boy. 235 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:48,648 By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows. 236 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:49,774 Why don't you go, Chief? 237 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:50,858 Well, I'm too f... 238 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,443 -...important. -(scoffs) 239 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,862 Although the well is too dark to see the boy, 240 00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:57,448 Timmy has told us his foot is trapped under a rock. 241 00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,742 Thus any attempt to pull him up 242 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,744 {\an8}would snap him like a twig. 243 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,204 In desperation, the city is considering 244 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,081 more unorthodox solutions. 245 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,917 Grasping the child firmly in his talons, 246 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,336 Socrates here will fly him to safety. 247 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,504 Just watch. 248 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,009 {\an8}(screeches) 249 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,220 I don't think he's coming back. 250 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:22,473 With this hook and this hunk of chocolate, 251 00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,141 I'll land your boy, 252 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,102 and I'll clean him for free. 253 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,478 Although we can't reach the boy, 254 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:29,522 we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen 255 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:33,401 so that future generations can rescue him. 256 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:37,655 Dear Lord, before we peel the foil back from your bounty, 257 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,950 we ask you to watch over little Timmy O'Toole 258 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,660 trapped in that well. 259 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,079 (Bart laughing loudly) 260 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,164 Bart, what's wrong with you? 261 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,958 Yeah, that Timmy is a real hero. 262 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,501 How do you mean, Dad? 263 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:54,171 Well, he fell down a well and can't get out. 264 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,048 How does that make him a hero? 265 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,883 Well, it's more than you did. 266 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,094 And finally, Channel 6's own Krusty the Clown 267 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,762 has gathered members of the entertainment community, 268 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,473 who normally steer clear of fashionable causes, 269 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,559 for a video called 270 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:09,729 "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well." 271 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,565 I wanted to do something to help that boy. 272 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,191 so I called my good friend Sting. 273 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,402 He said "Krusty, when do you need me?" 274 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,112 I said, "Thursday." 275 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,905 He said, "I'm busy Thursday." 276 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,323 I said, "What about Friday?" 277 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,409 He said, "Friday's worse than Thursday." 278 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,911 Then he said, "How about Saturday?" 279 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,413 I said "Fine." 280 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:28,664 True story. 281 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,208 Yeah. I used to open for Krusty in '69. 282 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,461 In fact, he fired me as I recall. 283 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,755 (chuckles) 284 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,214 Oh, Sting. 285 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,883 But this isn't about show business. 286 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,552 This is about some kid down a hole or something. 287 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,179 and we've all got to do what we can. 288 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,139 ♪♪ (piano) 289 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:48,184 ♪ There's a hole in my heart as deep as a well ♪ 290 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,562 ♪ For that poor little boy who's stuck halfway to hell ♪ 291 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:54,940 ♪ Though we can't get him out, we'll do the next best thing ♪ 292 00:12:55,024 --> 00:13:00,446 ♪ And go on TV and sing, sing, sing ♪ 293 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:05,242 ♪ And we're sending our love down the well ♪ 294 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,620 ♪ All the way down ♪ 295 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:12,082 ♪ We're sending our love down the well ♪ 296 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,544 ♪ Down that well ♪ 297 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,631 Krusty, what are your plans for the royalties? 298 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,883 Well, we got to pay for promotion, shipping, 299 00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,927 distribution. 300 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,387 You know, those limos out back, they aren't free. 301 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,640 Whatever's left, we throw down the well. 302 00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:28,891 {\an8}(carnival music, children laughing) 303 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,979 Authentic Timmy O'Toole baby teeth. 304 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,689 $6.00 a bag. 305 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:36,899 Step to the rear. 306 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,984 Plenty of room in the back. 307 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,403 (crowd laughing and talking) 308 00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:47,952 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show ♪ 309 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,207 Hmm? 310 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,083 (yells) 311 00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,337 (screaming) 312 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,758 (chomping) 313 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,554 ♪♪ 314 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,432 Hmm? 315 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:11,809 (screaming) 316 00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,561 (laughing) 317 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:16,856 -Aw. -(dog barking) 318 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,109 Drop that microphone. 319 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,361 Drop it, boy! 320 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,781 This is a special report from Channel 6 News. 321 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,908 Disturbing news from the Old Town well 322 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,618 where young Timmy O'Toole 323 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,996 has apparently taken a turn for the worse. 324 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,456 {\an8}(growling) 325 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,084 It's very simple, Kent. 326 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,169 The child is reverting to a feral 327 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,923 {\an8}or wolf-like state. Here's an artist's conception. 328 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,634 -(growling) -Bart. 329 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,595 (snarling) 330 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:52,099 Ahem. I was trying to gnaw my foot off, but... 331 00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,767 I couldn't get through my sock. 332 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,978 Good night, everybody. (snoring) 333 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,229 Bart Simpson! 334 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,939 The thought of a boy trapped in a well 335 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,692 brought out the kindness and love of the entire community. 336 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,736 When they find out you've been fooling them, 337 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,864 they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors. 338 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,450 Oh, yeah? And how are they gonna find out? 339 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,410 The police will catch you, sooner or later. 340 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,787 The police. (scoffs) They couldn't catch a cold. 341 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,081 Maybe not, but I bet you're stupid enough 342 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,877 to have left a "Property of Bart Simpson" label on that radio. 343 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:26,926 D'oh! 344 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,761 "And Cinderella had 345 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,805 "the most beautiful gown at the ball 346 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,308 "with eight satin petticoats 347 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:37,353 each more delicate than the last." 348 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:38,896 I think he's asleep. 349 00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,147 Want to get a cup of coffee? 350 00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,107 Okay. Brave little guy. 351 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,321 (grunts) 352 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,162 (grunting) 353 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,497 (yells) 354 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,542 Hey. Almost tripped over this thing. 355 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,544 (screaming) 356 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,759 Ugh! 357 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:11,762 (groaning) 358 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,264 What did I do to deserve this? 359 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,058 Help! Help! 360 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,810 I fell down the well. 361 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,228 Tell us something we don't know. 362 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,938 (policemen laughing) 363 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:24,108 No, my name is Bart Simpson. 364 00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:26,193 What are you doing down there? 365 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,445 Look, I'll level with you. 366 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,197 There is no Timmy O'Toole. 367 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,410 It was just a prank I was playing on everybody. 368 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,870 Well, you sure fooled us, kid. 369 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,455 Hey, I got an idea for a prank. 370 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,375 Let's go home and go to sleep. 371 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,252 (laughing) 372 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,837 Good one, Eddie. 373 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,131 Ha, ha. Great joke, guys. 374 00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:50,342 (fake laughing) 375 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,137 -Guys? -(wolf howls in distance) 376 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:56,682 So I'm afraid your son is trapped down the well. 377 00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:59,977 You must think we're the worst parents in the world. 378 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,896 Yes, that's pretty much the feeling down at the station. 379 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,694 Don't worry, son. Just 'cause you're trapped in a hole 380 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,988 doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life. 381 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,407 I brought you your Krusty doll. 382 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,450 Ow! 383 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,452 Knock it off, you bald boob! 384 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,037 Hey! Don't make me come down there! 385 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,246 Like to see you fit. 386 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:20,456 Why you little-- 387 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,750 -Put a man on him. -(grunting) 388 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,668 I like the other boy. 389 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:25,961 So polite. 390 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,214 What are you doing to save my baby boy? 391 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,842 Well, ma'am, we've located a piece of machinery 392 00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:33,177 in Shreveport, Louisiana 393 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,721 that could pop him out lickety-split. 394 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,389 Well, why don't you get it? 395 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,475 Well, I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Mrs. Simpson. 396 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,894 Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. 397 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,813 Had he done it at the start of the fiscal year, no problemo. 398 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,482 You're telling me that the city won't pay 399 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,317 to get a boy out of a well? 400 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,070 Well they would have for Timmy. People love that little guy. 401 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,990 But your son, well, he kinda played us all for a bunch of saps. 402 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,492 Mmm... 403 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,745 So it seems we've all been the victims of a cruel hoax 404 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,414 perpetrated by a ten-year-old hooligan. 405 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,999 The time has come for finger pointing, 406 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,834 and most of them are squarely aimed 407 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,252 at the boy's parents. 408 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,462 It's not our fault. 409 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,546 We didn't want the boy. 410 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,672 He was an accident. 411 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:11,965 Homer! 412 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,051 Could you edit that last part out? 413 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,594 Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast to coast. 414 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,262 D'oh! 415 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,890 ♪ One plus one plus three is five ♪ 416 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,434 ♪ Little Bart Simpson's buried alive ♪ 417 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,561 ♪ He's so neat, he's so sweet ♪ 418 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,939 ♪ Now the rats have Bart to eat... ♪ 419 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:27,981 Hey, stop that! 420 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,566 Oh. Sorry, Lisa. 421 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,779 ♪ How many days until Bart croaks? ♪ 422 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,823 ♪ One, two, three, four... ♪ 423 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:40,702 And our new number one hit, "I Do Believe We're Naked" 424 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,329 by Funky See, Funky Do 425 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,623 replaces "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well," 426 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:48,252 which plunges all the way down to number 97. 427 00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,170 Ever since I called for the rescue 428 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,756 of that Simpson lad, I have taken a lot of heat, 429 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,800 so I am flip-flopping. 430 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,511 I say let him stay down there. 431 00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,680 (cheering) 432 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,934 (ringing) 433 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,477 Yeah, Shutton here. 434 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,437 Now that's a story. 435 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,116 Bart, honey, I made you an extra warm sweater 436 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,952 you can wear while you're down in the well. 437 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,745 Mom, it's too big. 438 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,455 Don't worry, you'll grow into it. 439 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,623 Homer! 440 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,624 You know, I've done 441 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,251 a lot of bad stuff through the years. 442 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,670 I guess now I'm paying the price, 443 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:34,673 but there's so many things I'll never get a chance to do. 444 00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,383 Smoke a cigarette, 445 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,135 Use a fake I.D., 446 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:41,763 Shave a swear word in my hair... 447 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:45,142 (sniffling) 448 00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:48,520 That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more. 449 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,522 I'm going to get you out of there myself. 450 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,859 (Homer grunting) 451 00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,242 Now why didn't I think of that? 452 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,622 Agnes, we've got work to do. 453 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,213 (grunting) 454 00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,676 This is Kent Brockman with a special bulletin. 455 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,512 The Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated. 456 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,932 We'll stay with the story all night, if we have to. 457 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,228 What's going on? 458 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,813 It's an old-fashioned hole digging. 459 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,233 By gar, it's been a while. 460 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,159 (grunting) 461 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,828 (gasping) 462 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,163 The canary. 463 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,414 Gas! 464 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,916 Out of the hole! 465 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,417 (screaming) 466 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:56,255 Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes. 467 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,006 Back in the hole! 468 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,258 (screaming) 469 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,594 (panting) 470 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:03,929 Sting, you look tired. 471 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,472 Maybe you should take a rest. 472 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,350 Not while one of my fans needs me. 473 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,228 Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums. 474 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:14,523 Shh! Marge, he's a good digger. 475 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,650 (panting) 476 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,694 Uhh! 477 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:19,903 Sting! 478 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,281 Mom! Dad! 479 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,866 Oh, Bart, I've missed you so much. 480 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:29,246 Man, I was so scared. 481 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,831 Don't worry, son. 482 00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,291 They're going to make sure 483 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,043 no one ever falls down this well again. 484 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:39,131 (grunting) 485 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:40,716 That should do it. 486 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:50,225 ♪♪ 487 00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:51,578 Shh! 488 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:58,502 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.