1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,172 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,848 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,810 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,358 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,739 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,460 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:47,881 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,473 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,851 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,562 (tires screech) 11 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,647 D'oh! 12 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,776 -(screams) -(tires screech) 13 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,585 {\an8}LISA: Look, Dad, there's a spot. 14 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:26,920 {\an8}D'oh! 15 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,338 {\an8}Ohh, there's a spot, dear. 16 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,301 {\an8}D'oh! Ohh, there's a good one. 17 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:36,262 {\an8}That spot says "compact only." 18 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:39,265 {\an8}Marge, that's just a suggested car size. 19 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:42,352 {\an8}(metal scraping) 20 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,979 {\an8}Easy... easy... 21 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,606 {\an8}How am I doing on the right? 22 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:49,150 {\an8}Uh, we're getting a lot of sparks over here, Dad. 23 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,151 {\an8}Uh-huh. 24 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,319 {\an8}Easy... 25 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:52,946 {\an8}Easy... 26 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,322 {\an8}Perfect. 27 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:57,283 {\an8}All right, everybody, out the window. 28 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,077 {\an8}HOMER: Ooh! They all look great. 29 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,703 {\an8}MARGE: So, what are we going to see? 30 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,247 {\an8}Ernest Cuts the Cheese! 31 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,040 {\an8}Honey, I Hit a School Bus! 32 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,458 {\an8}Look Who's Oinking! Look Who's Oinking! 33 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,210 {\an8}Since we'll never agree. 34 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,753 {\an8}Why don't you kids pick a movie, 35 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,171 {\an8}your dad and I will pick a movie, 36 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,881 {\an8}then we'll all meet in the lobby later, hmm? 37 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,883 {\an8}-KIDS: Thanks, Mom. -(groans) 38 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,385 {\an8}Two tickets for... 39 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:16,803 {\an8}Let me guess. Look Who's Oinking. 40 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,179 {\an8}-That's right. -Sold out. 41 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,389 {\an8}Ohh... 42 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,390 {\an8}Maybe we could see something 43 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,641 {\an8}a little more adult. 44 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:24,060 {\an8}Why, Marge, you frisky little devil. 45 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,103 {\an8}(sexy growl) 46 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,397 {\an8}We'll take two tickets to 47 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,607 {\an8}The Stockholm Affair. 48 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,901 Ohh, the paper called it a taut political thriller. 49 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:32,944 Political? 50 00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:34,821 (groaning) 51 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,448 Mr. President, disturbing news. Serious cracks are developing 52 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,367 in the Greco-Bolivian alliance. 53 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,494 Get me Jed Colic! 54 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,622 (slurping) 55 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,801 (gagging) 56 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,471 Oh, this movie's too complicated. 57 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,640 Hey, the floor's sticky. 58 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,225 (grunting) 59 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,935 Who's that guy? 60 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,979 What did that guy say when I said "who's that guy?" 61 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,105 (groaning) 62 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,859 Oh, that submarine is so fake. 63 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,777 Look, you can see the strings. 64 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,529 Ooh! An octopus! 65 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,281 -Shh! -What? 66 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,577 (growling) 67 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,497 If you don't watch the violence, 68 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,041 you'll never get desensitized to it. 69 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,543 Just tell me when the scary part's over. 70 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:31,669 It's over. 71 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:32,670 (squishy crunching) 72 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:33,796 (screaming) 73 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,381 (evil chuckling) 74 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,342 I think that guy's a spy. 75 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:38,760 (whispering) Well, of course he's a spy. 76 00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:41,721 You just saw him go through spy school. 77 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,349 Oh wait, I heard how this ends. 78 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,184 It turns out the secret code 79 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,186 was the same nursery rhyme he told his daughter. 80 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,938 (audience moaning) 81 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,273 Hey, it's pretty obvious if you think about it. 82 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,067 Oh shut up, Homer. 83 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,526 No one wants to hear what you think! 84 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,488 (audience cheers) 85 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:04,702 Homer, if it makes you feel any better, 86 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,079 most of what they threw at you 87 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,790 splattered on me. Homer? 88 00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:11,042 Forget it, Mom. Dad's really mad. 89 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,169 The tendons are throbbing at the base of his neck. 90 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,963 and stress is collecting in the trouble spots-- 91 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,757 here, here, and here-- 92 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,509 making for one unhappy pappy. 93 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,843 (growling) 94 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,513 Homie, aren't you coming inside? 95 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,974 Marge, I have always carried myself 96 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,976 with a certain quiet dignity. 97 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,894 Tonight, you robbed me of it. 98 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,521 I'm going now, 99 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,148 and I don't know when you'll see me again. 100 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,775 (tires squealing) 101 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:38,820 (brakes screeching) 102 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:40,405 (tires squealing) 103 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,657 LISA: I guess that executive stress ball 104 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,242 we got him for Christmas isn't working. 105 00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:50,206 Mmm. 106 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,712 (slurping) 107 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,342 (gasps) 108 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,014 (sniffing) 109 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,265 Eww, a skunk. 110 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,349 (inhales) 111 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,811 (straining) 112 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:12,854 (breathing in) 113 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,398 (straining) 114 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:27,994 Oh, no! 115 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,708 -(country music playing) -HOMER: Ooh, a redneck bar. 116 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,126 (loud saloon banter) 117 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,169 (glass breaking) 118 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:37,670 Hey, you, let's fight. 119 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,297 Them's fightin' words. 120 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,550 Duff, please. 121 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,260 We don't sell Duff. 122 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,845 We sell Fudd. 123 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,264 Okay, Fudd me. 124 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,433 MAN: Alright, alright ladies and gentlemen 125 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,226 he's all healed up and he's back for more. 126 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:55,396 Let's give a big drunken welcome to Yodeling Zeke. 127 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,315 (audience cheering) 128 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:59,359 ♪ Yodel-lay-hee ♪ 129 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,610 ♪ Yodel-lay-hee ♪ 130 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,029 ♪ Odel-lay-hee... ♪ 131 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:06,699 (playing sweet melody) 132 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,619 (crowd cheering) 133 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,664 Our next act is our very own singing waitress-- Lurleen. 134 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,666 (crowd cheering) 135 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,001 So I'm afraid drink service 136 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,003 will stop for just a few moments... 137 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,631 (shouting, glass breaking) 138 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,049 They're all yours. 139 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:25,551 Stupid Marge-- tell me to shut up. 140 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,845 Thank you. Tonight I'd like to try 141 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:28,846 something a little different. 142 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,473 It's a song I wrote 143 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,934 while I was mopping up your dried blood and teeth. 144 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:36,062 (playing upbeat melody) 145 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,940 ♪ You work all day for some old man ♪ 146 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,526 ♪ Sweat and break your back ♪ 147 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,194 Yeah. 148 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:45,363 ♪ Then you go home to your castle ♪ 149 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:48,241 ♪ But your queen won't cut you slack ♪ 150 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,243 That's true. 151 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,578 ♪ That's why you're losing all your hair ♪ 152 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,455 ♪ That's why you're overweight ♪ 153 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,290 Uh-huh. 154 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,668 ♪ That's why you flipped your pickup truck ♪ 155 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,962 ♪ Right off the interstate ♪ 156 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,131 That's right... except for the pick-up truck. 157 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,801 ♪ There's a line of bull they hand you ♪ 158 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:09,804 ♪ There's nothing you can do ♪ 159 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:13,099 ♪ Your wife don't understand you ♪ 160 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,810 ♪ But I do ♪ 161 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:19,897 ♪ No, your wife don't understand you ♪ 162 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,108 ♪ But I do ♪ 163 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:25,361 ♪ I said, no one understands you ♪ 164 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:30,158 ♪ But I do ♪ 165 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:35,830 (smattering of applause) 166 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,039 Hey, Lurleen? 167 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,083 I've got to say something to you. 168 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,168 I'm listening. 169 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,919 Your song touched me 170 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,213 in a way I've never felt before. 171 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,174 And which way to the can? 172 00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:52,013 So what's your name, stranger? 173 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,139 Homer J. Simpson. 174 00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,682 My name's Lurleen Lumpkin. 175 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,934 -That's a pretty name. -Oh, you think so? 176 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,978 Maybe. I'm not sure. 177 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,564 I forgot it. 178 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,565 Bye, Lurleen. 179 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,442 So long, Homer J. Simpson. 180 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:08,488 (Homer humming "The Wabash Cannonball") 181 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,574 Hello. 182 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,451 Where were you all night? 183 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,536 I was just up at this bar in Spittle County. 184 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,705 You should have called. I was very worried. 185 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,457 Marge, let's end this feudin' and a-fussin' 186 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,168 -and get down to some lovin'. -Hmm! 187 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,878 ♪ I work all day ♪ 188 00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,755 ♪ For some old man ♪ 189 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,341 ♪ I sweat and break my back ♪ 190 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,599 Doctor, you weren't supposed to remove his gall bladder. 191 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,226 Put it back! Put it back! 192 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,895 ♪ Your wife don't understand you ♪ 193 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,230 ♪ But I do ♪ 194 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,441 Gee, Homer's singing to his ball again. 195 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,570 -Yeah, and he's bowling a 280. -Oh, yeah? 196 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,573 ♪ There's a kind of hush ♪ 197 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:57,078 ♪ All over the world tonight ♪ 198 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,746 (humming) 199 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,164 Hey, Moe, you got any Fudd? 200 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,416 Fudd? I thought they took that off the market 201 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,460 after all those hillbillies went blind. 202 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,004 Oh no-- I went to this bar the other night and... 203 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,005 W-wait a minute. 204 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,715 You went to another bar? 205 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:12,510 Moe, I was 100 miles out of town. 206 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,428 Oh, Homer. 207 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:19,100 (playing banjo) 208 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:26,566 Well, if it isn't Homer J. Simpson. 209 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:29,026 Lurleen, I can't get your song out of my mind. 210 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,237 I haven't felt this way since "Funky Town." 211 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,155 Oh, aren't you sweet. 212 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,865 Do you think I can get a copy of it? 213 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,368 Sorry darlin'. All my songs are up here-- 214 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,787 "I'm Basting a Turkey with My Tears," 215 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,914 "Don't Look Up My Dress Unless You Mean It," 216 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,584 "I'm Sick of Your Lying Lips and False Teeth." 217 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,586 Lurleen, we've got to crack open your head 218 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,421 and scoop out those songs. 219 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:49,630 Ooh! I don't know. 220 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:50,840 -Come with me. -Oh! 221 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,259 (guitar playing country music) 222 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,554 ♪ I said no one understands you ♪ 223 00:09:56,637 --> 00:10:00,016 ♪ But I do ♪ 224 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,313 Listen, ma'am, 225 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,774 my brother owns a radio station over in Weevilville 226 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,402 and with your permission, I'd like to take your CD to him. 227 00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:12,403 Homer, it's your quarter. 228 00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,363 What do you say? 229 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:18,826 I guess so. 230 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:21,787 RADIO D.J.: This is KUDD 570 AM. 231 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,874 Hey, don't touch that dial. You've got KUDD on it. 232 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,585 LURLEEN: ♪ You work all day for some old man ♪ 233 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,004 ♪ Sweat and break your back... ♪ 234 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,007 For the next half hour, beer's on the house. 235 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,217 -What did you say, Moe? -Nothing. 236 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,844 I thought I told you 237 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,763 to stay away from my sister! 238 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,807 ♪ But your queen won't cut you slack ♪ 239 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,809 Oh, here's 50 bucks. 240 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,686 Take her to the Copa. 241 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,898 ♪ Now you talk so tough and act so rough... ♪ 242 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:52,109 It's payback time. 243 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,446 ♪ The heartache and the sadness ♪ 244 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:58,115 ♪ That's buried deep inside ♪ 245 00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,825 Aww... 246 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:03,204 Puts this whole riot into perspective, doesn't it? 247 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:08,709 ♪ No one understands you, but I do ♪ 248 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,670 She's wonderful. 249 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:14,298 I could feel her sweet country soul in every digitally encoded bit. 250 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,217 Country music sucks. 251 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,053 All it does is take precious air space away from shock deejays 252 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,889 whose cruelty and profanity amuse us all. 253 00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,684 Shut up, boy. Marge, what do you think? 254 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,353 Well, it's nice, but who is this woman? 255 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,814 Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, 256 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:32,525 but she's going to be a country music superstar, 257 00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:35,236 like, uh, that jerk in the cowboy hat, 258 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,196 and that dead lady. 259 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,824 I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress. 260 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,368 Marge, you make it sound so seamy. 261 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,912 All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer 262 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:47,039 watching her try on some outfits. 263 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,457 (growling) 264 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,458 (ringing) 265 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,793 Well, hi, Lurleen. 266 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,545 We were just talking about you. 267 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,673 Uh, I think I can come over. Let me ask my wife. 268 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,384 (angry groaning) 269 00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,927 It's a date. 270 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,724 Oh, Homer. 271 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,559 Everybody's been calling-- 272 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:10,730 Mama, Daddy, the triplets, Vonda Mae, Piney Joe... 273 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,649 and I owe it all to you. 274 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,234 Don't thank me, Lurleen. 275 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,153 You should be thanking your brain. 276 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,821 Oh, wow, Homer. 277 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,323 No man has ever been this nice to me without... 278 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,577 you know, wanting something in return. 279 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,370 Well, I was going to ask for a glass of water, 280 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,247 but now I feel kinda guilty about it. 281 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:32,168 (chuckling) Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar. 282 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,544 Thanks. 283 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:34,545 You did say "sugar," right? 284 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:35,880 Uh-huh. 285 00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:39,425 Now, Homer, I want you to be my manager. 286 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,552 Really? Well, I should warn you, 287 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,179 -I'm not great with figures. -That's okay. 288 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,555 I make a lot of stupid decisions. 289 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:45,639 Nobody's perfect. 290 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,600 -I did bad in school. -I didn't even go. 291 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,268 My personal hygiene has been described as-- 292 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,146 Homer, Homer, you'll be a great manager. 293 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:54,023 There's only one thing you need. 294 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:57,234 Now, this is made from a space-age fabric 295 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,445 developed especially for Elvis. 296 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:02,573 Sweat actually cleans this suit. 297 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:03,866 Hmm. 298 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:06,952 (growling) 299 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,746 (footsteps approaching) 300 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,789 (door opening) 301 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,415 Marge, look at me. 302 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,751 I don't want to-- I'm mad at you. 303 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,337 I'm sick of that waitress and all the time you've been spending with her 304 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,172 and this whole country music thing. 305 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,924 Then maybe you'd better not look at me. 306 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,342 (gasps) 307 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,803 Homer, where did you get that suit? 308 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,180 A friend bought it for me. 309 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,765 Was it Lurleen? 310 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:31,101 -No. I think it was Lenny. -Don't lie to me. 311 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,354 -Are you having an affair with this woman? -No! 312 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,772 -Have you kissed her? -No! 313 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,398 -Has she kissed you? -A couple of times. 314 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,442 I want you to stop seeing her. 315 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,194 I can't-- I'm her manager. 316 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:42,154 Her manage-- That's ridiculous. 317 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,322 I won't allow you to spend any more time 318 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,241 away from your family. 319 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,535 Marge, you're standing in the way of my boyhood dream 320 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,703 of managing a beautiful country singer! 321 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:52,748 Your boyhood dream was to eat the world's biggest hoagie, 322 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,292 and you did it at the county fair last year, remember? 323 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,461 Marge, Lurleen's gonna be a big success, 324 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,713 and whether you like it or not, I'm going to be there. 325 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,841 Fine. See if I care! 326 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,425 (footsteps, door slams) 327 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,345 (sniffling) 328 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,643 MAN: This studio has a lot of history. 329 00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,062 Buddy Holly stood on this spot in 1958 and said, 330 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:18,315 "There is no way in hell that I'm gonna record in this dump." 331 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,442 I'm sure Lurleen will love it. 332 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,028 (gasps) Homer, how much did you just give that man? 333 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:25,489 Calm down, Marge. It's just our life savings. 334 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,616 I'm not going to go into hock for this. 335 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,244 Hey, Colonel Homer. 336 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,912 And you must be... 337 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,747 Mrs. Homer Simpson. 338 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:34,748 Charmed. 339 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,250 Hmm. 340 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,751 I thought you said she was overweight. 341 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,169 Marge, it takes two to lie: 342 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,838 one to lie and one to listen. 343 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,381 What does that mean? 344 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,883 I don't have time to answer all these questions. 345 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,175 Time is money. 346 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,052 Come on, people. 347 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,637 Well, come on, boys. 348 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,222 Let's break some hearts. 349 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,934 (fast country music) 350 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,229 ♪ Oh, the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart ♪ 351 00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,232 ♪ When the coach called me up to the plate ♪ 352 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,942 ♪ I'd been swingin' and missin' ♪ 353 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,819 ♪ At lovin' and kissin' ♪ 354 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,947 ♪ My average was point double ought eight ♪ 355 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,866 ♪ So I spit on my hands ♪ 356 00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,618 ♪ Knockin' dirt from my spikes ♪ 357 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,746 ♪ And pointed right towards center field ♪ 358 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:16,874 ♪ This time I'm hittin' a home run ♪ 359 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:20,085 ♪ This time love is for real ♪ 360 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,004 Hey, Dad, can I do a hambone solo? 361 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,007 Stop it. 362 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,634 ♪ ...for you ♪ 363 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,093 ♪ I been slumpin' all season ♪ 364 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,762 ♪ But now I found a reason ♪ 365 00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:33,098 ♪ I struck on a love that is true ♪ 366 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,809 ♪ I used to play the field ♪ 367 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:39,772 ♪ I used to be a roamer ♪ 368 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,399 ♪ But season's turnin' around for me now ♪ 369 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:45,527 ♪ I finally bagged me a Homer... ♪ 370 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,904 That's right. 371 00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:49,823 ♪ I finally bagged me a Homer ♪ 372 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,575 Lurleen, we're gonna have to cut you off. 373 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,911 We're getting some kind of grinding noise on the track. 374 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:58,457 (grinding) 375 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,835 ♪♪ 376 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,467 You, off the bench. 377 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,853 HOMER: Guess what, Lurleen. 378 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,814 I got you a gig on TV. 379 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,441 Oh, Homer, you're as smart as you are handsome. 380 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,944 Hey! Oh, you meant that as a compliment. 381 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:29,947 Now, on this show they want you to sing two songs. 382 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:32,700 Maybe we should give them something new. 383 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,077 Well, I have been working on something 384 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,912 that could really heat things up. 385 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,330 Let's hear it. 386 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,541 (playing slow ballad) 387 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,793 ♪ In this trailer ♪ 388 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:48,132 ♪ I get so cold and lonely ♪ 389 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:51,677 ♪ Lyin' there awake at night ♪ 390 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:55,806 ♪ Muttering, "If only you weren't married" ♪ 391 00:16:55,889 --> 00:17:02,312 ♪ So I might ask you to bunk with me tonight ♪ 392 00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:08,152 ♪ Bunk with me tonight, oh, bunk with me tonight ♪ 393 00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:15,117 ♪ I'm asking will you bunk with me tonight ♪ 394 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,746 Oh, that's hot. 395 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,456 There isn't a man alive 396 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,041 who wouldn't get turned on by that. 397 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,834 Well, good-bye. 398 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,588 Uh, Homer, there's a hidden message to this song 399 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,673 that you may have missed. 400 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,091 Really listen. 401 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:35,554 ♪ Bunk with me tonight ♪ 402 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:40,768 -Uh-huh. -♪ Bunk with me tonight ♪ 403 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,437 -Right. -♪ I'm asking ♪ 404 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,147 ♪ Will you bunk ♪ 405 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:48,150 ♪ With me ♪ 406 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,778 ♪ Tonight? ♪ 407 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,029 (gasps) Lurleen! 408 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,407 That's right, Homer J. 409 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,159 I got to think about this. 410 00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,706 MARGE: All our money's tied up in this woman. 411 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,541 If she fails, we're broke. 412 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,668 If she succeeds, I have no husband. 413 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,796 I don't know what to root for. 414 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,797 You don't? 415 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,423 I got to go. 416 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:12,716 Homer? 417 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,009 Later, Marge. Lurleen's on TV tonight. 418 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,053 I got to get ready. 419 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:20,099 (grunting) 420 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,809 Just so you know-- 421 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,769 while you and Lurleen were out judging 422 00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:24,812 that greased pig contest, 423 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,396 Maggie cut her first tooth. 424 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,856 That's great, honey. 425 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,359 Say, have you seen my rattlesnake hatband? 426 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,777 You're not even listening to me. 427 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,153 Sure they will. 428 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:36,365 Kids, will you come in here? 429 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:40,452 You've got a wonderful family, Homer. 430 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:44,206 Please don't forget it when you walk out that door tonight. 431 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,874 Uh, I got to go. 432 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,585 As much as I hate that man right now, 433 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,295 you got to love that suit. 434 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,923 ANNOUNCER: Hold on to your pitchforks, everybody. 435 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:57,052 It's time again for Ya Hoo! 436 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,637 Starring, in alphabetical order... 437 00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,680 Yodeling Zeke, 438 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:01,306 Butterball Jackson, 439 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,850 Freddie Boy and Yuma, 440 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,059 Cloris Moselle, 441 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,936 Big Shirtless Ron, 442 00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,271 Orville and Hurley, 443 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:08,689 Gappy Mae, 444 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:09,690 Hip Diddler, 445 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:11,650 Rudy, 446 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,569 the Ya Hoo Recovering Alcoholic Jug Band, 447 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:17,739 and tonight, in her syndicated TV debut-- Lurleen! 448 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:21,702 (fast country music) 449 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,704 ♪ Oh, the bases were empty... ♪ 450 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,455 Excuse me, are you Colonel Homer Simpson? 451 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,332 Yes, I am. 452 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,877 I'm from Rebel Yell Records, a division of Togasake Corporation. 453 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,336 I'm interested in buying Lurleen's contract. 454 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,713 Forget it, pal. 455 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,089 They don't call me Colonel Homer 456 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,717 because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy. 457 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,970 Lurleen, they loved you. 458 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:43,515 Well thank you. I'm still a little itchy from that fiberglass hay. 459 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,434 Is there anything you need? 460 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,186 (slams and locks door) 461 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:51,857 Well, you could make my evening complete. 462 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,444 What's wrong? 463 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:58,488 My whole romantic life is flashing before my eyes. 464 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,866 (making kissing noises) 465 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,117 Gross! 466 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,329 Thanks for dinner. 467 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:06,496 Ow! 468 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,958 No! 469 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,710 At least, could I have my dollar-- 470 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:15,130 I'll love you for the rest of my life. 471 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,886 I'm sorry, Lurleen. 472 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,263 All I wanted to do was share your beautiful voice 473 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,600 with other people, and I've done that. 474 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:28,227 Now, I'd better get out of here 475 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,853 before I lose my family. 476 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,316 Just so I don't wonder-- 477 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,943 you would have gone all the way with me, wouldn't ya? 478 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:36,944 Uh-huh. 479 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,404 Ooh... okay. 480 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,032 Now before we negotiate, I have to tell you 481 00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,784 I'm desperate to unload Lurleen 482 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,285 and I'll take any offer. 483 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,286 I'll give ya 50 bucks. 484 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,330 You son of a-- Sold. 485 00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:53,335 I caught my wife in bed 486 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,337 with my best friend. 487 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,421 You bitter? 488 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,132 Yep. Bit him too. 489 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,176 (laughing) Ow! 490 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,303 (laughing) 491 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,305 And now, once again-- Lurleen. 492 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,224 -(door opens) -Homer? 493 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:10,269 Is there any room in that bed for a dad-burned fool? 494 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,854 Always has been. 495 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:16,233 Now I'd like to play a song I wrote just this minute. 496 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:19,653 It's called "Stand By Your Manager." 497 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:21,405 ♪ His name is Homer ♪ 498 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:27,035 ♪ He's quite a man ♪ 499 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:31,456 ♪ I tried to kiss him ♪ 500 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:35,752 ♪ But Homer ran ♪ 501 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:39,881 ♪ Sure wish I could say ♪ 502 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:44,845 ♪ That I was his ♪ 503 00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:48,640 ♪ I hope that Marge knows ♪ 504 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:51,643 ♪ Just how lucky she is ♪ 505 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:56,523 I do. 506 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,907 {\an8}♪♪ 507 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:49,993 Shh! 508 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:56,541 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.