﻿1
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:08,976
MAN (over TV):
One month ago,

2
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,046
12 couples arrived
on this tropical island.

3
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,182
After an emergency
balloon landing,

4
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,984
a jellyfish explosion
and the most-viewed

5
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,988
cantaloupe catapult accident
of all time,

6
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,023
just four couples remain.

7
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,160
I'm Tag Tuckerbag, and this
is the greatest adventure

8
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:28,429
to take place in just one place.

9
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,997
-TAG: The Amazing Place!
-SIMPSONS: The Amazing Place!

10
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,865
The Place Show.

11
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:35,236
LISA: The final challenge
is the Lily Pad Leap.

12
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,406
They haven't done the LP Leap
since season 22,

13
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,108
"Beauty versus Sexy."

14
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:46,514
Kayla, don't step on the stem.
You'll flip the pad.

15
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,417
You should know that.
You're a life coach.

16
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,454
-They flipped the pad!
-TAG: They flipped the pad.

17
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,323
(groans)
What a noob.

18
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,962
Hector and Audrey Chang,
you have won

19
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,398
-The Amazing Place!
-(cheering)

20
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,700
-Called it.
-Mom, you always
call the winner.

21
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,202
How do you know?

22
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,871
Well, your father may have
Moe's and football,

23
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,874
but I have being by myself
and this show.

24
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,643
ANNOUNCER: Do you like
adventure, bandanas

25
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,945
and having your friends
see you melt down on TV?

26
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:23,083
We want you for season 48
of The Amazing Place.

27
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,653
Why don't you guys try out
for that show?

28
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,954
You would dominate.

29
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:29,123
Oh, no, I couldn't.

30
00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:30,924
You know what they say:
you don't fail

31
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,894
at 100% of the shots
you don't take.

32
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,130
But you've watched
every episode of the show

33
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:38,299
and listened
to the director commentaries.

34
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,602
You even made us play
the terrible home game.

35
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,337
(Marge groans)

36
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,173
-Come on, Mom.
-Just try out.

37
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,074
-Come on, try out.
-Come on.

38
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,842
-(whispering): Come on, try out.
-Try out.
-(Homer snoring)

39
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,311
-Try out.
-Try out, Mom.

40
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:53,113
-Try out!
-Try out!

41
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,115
-Come on, just do it, Mom!
-Come on!

42
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:57,251
Just try out!

43
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,752
-(hoarse): Come on.
-Mom.

44
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,521
-Just try out.
-Why don't you try out?

45
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,656
-Just try out.
-Come on, do it.

46
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,859
I'm not trying out,
so just can it.

47
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:10,431
(gasps) I said "can it"
to my own children.

48
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,166
What have I become?

49
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,867
Baby, you've got
to tell them sometime.

50
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,169
Tell us what?

51
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,604
We know all the family secrets.

52
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,038
Like that Dad lost
our college funds

53
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:21,041
investing in a chain
of chewing tobacco cafes.

54
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,043
Dippin' Dens was a great idea.

55
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,479
We just weren't prepared
for all the spitting.

56
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,848
Well, I might as well
come clean.

57
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:30,984
(sighs)

58
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,521
The real tragedy
is now Chaw House owns

59
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:37,057
the entire
casual chewing market.

60
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,729
The truth is, we have tried out.

61
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,497
Dozens of times.

62
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,068
Why should you pick us
to be on The Amazing Place?

63
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:51,372
Because we're best friends
who never bicker.

64
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:55,008
We're constantly
at each other's throats.

65
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,579
We're motorcycle bikers.

66
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,180
That's our persona.

67
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,484
We have no idea what you want.

68
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,186
Just please pick us.

69
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,321
Why are you still doing this?

70
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,922
We were already on that show

71
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,058
where we had to crawl
into a drainage ditch.

72
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,361
That was just you,
and it wasn't a show.

73
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,062
It was a police bodycam.

74
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,064
That was a good show.

75
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,869
After 46 rejections,
I can take a hint.

76
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,904
They don't want us.

77
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:30,010
You know, reality shows
love a sob story,

78
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,547
and we've got a storage bin
full of tears.

79
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,716
And I've got a sister
who will edit them together

80
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,050
while I feed the dog
marshmallows

81
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,586
and see what happens.

82
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,454
*

83
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,633
Ow! (grunting)

84
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,069
Oh, we're not here
to make friends.

85
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:59,072
Unless I meet some awesome guy
who-who wants to be my friend.

86
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,942
Yeah, I met this really cool guy
at the boba place,

87
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,945
but he said he was moving
to Hong Kong and, uh,

88
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,547
he didn't know his number yet.

89
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,050
Every reality show needs
that crazy, no-limits guy

90
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,820
that just shatters
society's taboos, right?

91
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:15,756
Well, break out
your pixelation machine,

92
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:19,993
because I am
your bug-eating nude fatso.

93
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,029
Oh, also, I'm not here
to make friends.

94
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:27,000
Oh, my God, married kids?

95
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,302
You're in the show.

96
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,604
-Ew, no.
-We're here on behalf

97
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,172
of some different weirdos.

98
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,308
Our parents have tried out
for every season

99
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,976
of The Amazing Place.

100
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,411
My dad would even record my mom

101
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:40,247
opening your letters
in case they got picked.

102
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,149
Mm-hmm.

103
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,685
(gasps)

104
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:45,953
(sighing):
Oh.

105
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,988
(moaning):
Oh.

106
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,592
(sighs)

107
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,127
So think what a magical
TV moment it would be

108
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,930
for our mom to find out
she made it on the show.

109
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,532
After losing all hope.

110
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:01,168
When she didn't even know
she applied.

111
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:04,104
The ultimate superfan
gets one last chance

112
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,374
to make her dreams come true.

113
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,009
I don't know,
it sounds a little manipulative.

114
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,378
You're fired.

115
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,946
I think we just found
our Boston Rob.

116
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,016
Or your Springfield Clancy.

117
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,851
Huh? Huh?

118
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,989
(sighs)
Electric bill, past due,

119
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,825
Website renewal
"DippinDens.com."

120
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,026
What's this?

121
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:29,563
"Congratulations,
Marge and Homer Simpson.

122
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,565
You have been selected
to compete on..."

123
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,033
The Amazing Place!

124
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,869
(gasps)
Tag Tuckerbag?

125
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,070
Tag Buggernut?

126
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,039
This is it.
After years of rejection,

127
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,575
you two will finally compete
for a million dollars

128
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,577
on The Amazing Place.

129
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,646
But we didn't even try out.

130
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,815
I edited together
your old auditions.

131
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,083
And I gave notes
which were ignored.

132
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,652
(gasps, grunts)

133
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:55,088
My crazy dream is coming true.

134
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,825
After you sign
the amazing waivers.

135
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,993
So many ways to die.

136
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:04,097
Falling off rocks,
rocks falling on me.

137
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,933
Toxoplasmosis?

138
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,536
That's what ate
Handsome Tom's face.

139
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,004
Just call me Handsome Homer.

140
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,408
-Bye, Mom!
-Don't get toxoplasmosis!

141
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,779
(both gasps)

142
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,714
Welcome to The Amazing Place.

143
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,250
You're about to embark
on a test of mental toughness,

144
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,085
physical strength and interviews
where you have to pretend

145
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,887
that you're in the middle
of a challenge

146
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,756
when it's already over.

147
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:32,693
But first, let's kick things off
with a romantic beachside luau

148
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,895
at Lover's Lagoon.

149
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,464
(oohing)

150
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,265
Right after
your first challenge.

151
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,367
We took one item
from every person's bag

152
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,870
and hid it in another
contestant's luggage.

153
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:46,974
Everyone, find their
Suitcase Stowaway now.

154
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,643
It's the ultimate
Tarmac Unpack Attack.

155
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,712
Okay, Suitcase Stowaway.

156
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,747
They've done this
three times before.

157
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,283
Here's the secret: dump and dig.

158
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,285
I found my stowaway.

159
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:03,090
Great. Go through my other bag.

160
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:09,997
Okay, Homie, don't panic.

161
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,566
The secret is to just take
your time, and...

162
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,201
(conch blowing)

163
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,772
I'm sorry, Homer and Marge,
you've been...

164
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,174
-Don't say it.
-...shell-iminated.

165
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,510
No, no. No, no, no.

166
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,478
We can't be
the first couple kicked off.

167
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,980
That's the ultimate humiliation.

168
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,655
I never even put on a swimsuit.

169
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:37,157
I never got to see the lagoon.

170
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,494
I'm crying, and no one's
even filming me.

171
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,100
We didn't even make it
off the tarmac.

172
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,636
All because of my screwup.

173
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,103
I guess we're going home.

174
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,672
No, you're going there.

175
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,041
MARGE and HOMER:
Huh?

176
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,043
A hotel? But we lost.

177
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,145
If we let you go home now,
fans would know

178
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,814
you've been kicked off
before the season airs.

179
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,851
So ejected contestants
must stay at this hotel

180
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,219
until every episode
is finished taping.

181
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,956
So we can't go home for a month?

182
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,858
Six weeks, counting post.

183
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,160
(crying):
I don't know what post is.

184
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,729
Hey, save some of those tears
for the reunion show.

185
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:19,633
You'll just put us in the back
row and won't ask any questions.

186
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,735
We won't even get
to hug the winner.

187
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,904
Yeah, but the runner-up's
always wandering around

188
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,505
looking for someone to hug.

189
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:26,807
That's your play.

190
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,041
(birds screeching)

191
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,678
How could I be such a noob?

192
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,681
I could learn
to love a noob, given time.

193
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,049
I already miss the kids.

194
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,351
Well, there's got to be
a way we can call home

195
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,153
without getting in trouble.

196
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,155
If you say anything
that reveals or implies

197
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,091
that you have been ejected
from The Amazing Place,

198
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,560
you are subject to a fine
of up to a million dollars

199
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:49,096
and, for residents of Georgia,
the death penalty.

200
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,400
Kids, kids, how are you?

201
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,102
Lisa said I can't use
the bubble bath,

202
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,670
but you said you bought it
for everybody.

203
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,005
Forget the bubble bath.

204
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,072
How's the show?

205
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,207
Are you winning?

206
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,043
Um, I'm not supposed to say.

207
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,077
That means you're dominating.

208
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,713
-I knew it!
-(both grunt)

209
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:06,947
No, no, we're not dominating.

210
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,516
I didn't reveal or imply that.

211
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,518
Well, you can't have gotten
kicked off yet.

212
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,986
You just got there.

213
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,957
Mmm...

214
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,025
(clears throat)

215
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,426
"Your mother and I are excited

216
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,729
"to be part
of the Amazing Place family.

217
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,964
"All further inquiries
should be submitted in writing

218
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,934
to Don DiBusco Productions,
Burbank, California."

219
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,736
What the hell
are you talking about?

220
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,470
This conversation
is hereby terminated.

221
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:33,106
You are each entitled
to one capful of bubble bath.

222
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:38,712
Now, that's parenting.

223
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,580
Come on, baby, it's not so bad.

224
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,382
Really?

225
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:47,955
Six weeks away from the kids,
Grampa, my sisters, your job.

226
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:51,558
With nothing to do but eat
free room service

227
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,062
and watch dopey movies on demand
while they keep us quiet

228
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,731
with an endless supply
of free booze.

229
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,232
It's a nightmare.

230
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,970
It is. It truly is.

231
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,806
* I was up late night ballin'

232
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,075
* Countin' up hundreds
by the thousand *

233
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,343
* I was up late night ballin'

234
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:11,979
* Countin' up hundreds
by the thousand. *

235
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,947
You see, Curtis,
you never really

236
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,316
get an episode of SportsCenter

237
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,952
until you've seen it
for the third time.

238
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,088
Can I freshen up
that appetizer platter for you?

239
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:24,124
Nah, I better go
check in on my wife.

240
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:27,160
She's having a hard time
adjusting to hotel living.

241
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:34,001
(grunting):
Just let me clean.

242
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,970
(vacuum cleaner whirring)

243
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,973
Sweetie, I'm worried about you.

244
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,809
You just sit around
all day changing

245
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,711
the combination
on the room safe.

246
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:46,146
Do you want to put something
in the room safe?

247
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,948
I don't deserve valuables.

248
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,017
It's my fault we're stuck here.

249
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,819
All I deserve is to sit alone

250
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,955
and watch the TV channel
that's about the hotel.

251
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,990
ANNOUNCER: Forgot your
toothbrush? No problem.

252
00:10:57,024 --> 00:11:00,961
Sundries gift shop has all the
toiletries every traveler needs.

253
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,097
Sundries is awesome.
I got this shirt there.

254
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,834
Look, I know you're miserable,

255
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,803
but let me show you how great
this place can be.

256
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,305
It's just a stupid chain hotel.

257
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:16,476
Darling, take my hand, and
you'll see it's so much more.

258
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,812
* Well, since you blew
the challenge *

259
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,081
* And we're not allowed
to tell *

260
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:24,084
* We're getting
all expenses paid at *

261
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,419
* Airport Hotel

262
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,989
* The pillow's so foamy, baby

263
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,024
* Order food on the phone-y

264
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:35,595
* We'll eat Toblerone-y,
so don't cry *

265
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,165
* For breakfast
they have bagels *

266
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,333
* Cream cheese but no lox

267
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:45,205
* A mini pack of cereal,
make a bowl out of the box *

268
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,574
* The pool's
so chlorine-y, baby *

269
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,376
* The towel's so teeny

270
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:53,781
* No lifeguard to be seen-y,
we could die *

271
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,616
* No job, no kids, no Flanders

272
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,718
* Choice of bar soap
or bath gel *

273
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,253
* Small ketchup's friends

274
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,955
* With tiny mustard

275
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:04,057
* Airport Hotel

276
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:07,961
* Now that I've shown you, baby,
they'll leave us alone *

277
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,898
* Yeah, baby,
toilet's got a phone, yeah *

278
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,732
* Don't know why.

279
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,768
(both moaning)

280
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,105
Might the lady enjoy a movie

281
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,942
whose title doesn't appear
on the bill?

282
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,786
Maybe being trapped here
isn't so bad.

283
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,555
I'm not even worried
about what the kids are up to.

284
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:39,893
-Come on, dig. Dig.
-We're hot.

285
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,229
You can go for a nice, cool swim

286
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,131
after you finish
digging my pool.

287
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,900
I'm telling Patty and Selma
what you're doing.

288
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,735
What? We want a pool.

289
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,804
I just got my first wax
in years.

290
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:53,373
Hurt so much they had to
give me an epidural.

291
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,946
Haw-haw!

292
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,116
The fitness center only had
an old NordicTrack,

293
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,985
but it felt good to work out.

294
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,988
I sat on a yoga ball
and drank cucumber water.

295
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,257
It's nice to know
I can still do that.

296
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,325
Mm, maybe we should peek in.

297
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:15,595
I am kind of curious to see
what's going on in the show.

298
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,597
Really? You sure
you can handle it?

299
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,166
Oh, yeah.

300
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:24,037
I'm still in a great mood after
reading that free USA Today.

301
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:28,008
(gasps) Look, they're
editing our episode.

302
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,978
There I am, looking
for that Suitcase Stowaway.

303
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,380
I never found it, did I?

304
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,149
Great. Go through my other bag.

305
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:39,786
HOMER (chuckling): Hey, that's
me looking for that thing.

306
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,455
Okay. Marge's vitamins,
Marge's pajamas,

307
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,991
Marge's giant chocolate bar.

308
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,860
I didn't pack
a giant chocolate bar.

309
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,397
What Marge doesn't know

310
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,800
is that her husband just ate
her Suitcase Stowaway.

311
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,070
This ultimate "didgeri-don't"
will send them packing.

312
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:58,071
EDITOR:
Whoa!

313
00:13:58,105 --> 00:14:01,674
I'm not the one who screwed up.
You are.

314
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,176
I'm so sorry.

315
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,511
I know you're gonna
need some space,

316
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,046
so I'll sleep on the couch.

317
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,250
-(Marge groans)
-(Homer moans sadly)

318
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,057
*

319
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,707
*

320
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,416
(both groans)

321
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,888
(groans) What a dump.

322
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,623
What's that from?

323
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,926
-What?
-"What a dump."

324
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,361
How would I know?

325
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,897
We wouldn't be in this dump
if you weren't such a flop.

326
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,933
I'm tired, dear. It's late.

327
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,969
A chocolate flop.

328
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:04,371
Yes, a chocolate flop.

329
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,539
That's what you keep braying
at everybody.

330
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,108
I don't bray!

331
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,210
All right, you don't bray.

332
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,779
I do not bray!

333
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,247
I said you didn't bray.

334
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,548
Make me a drink.

335
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,784
-Haven't you had enough?
-Make me a drink.

336
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,753
Yes, dear.

337
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,556
And lay out some mixed nuts.
We've got guests.

338
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,759
-We've got what?
-Guests. Guests!

339
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,328
You know, what's-their-names.

340
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:29,596
I don't know their names.

341
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,564
They just got eliminated
from the show.

342
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:35,168
It took them five weeks,
not five minutes.

343
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,936
(knocking on door)

344
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,138
Go answer the door.

345
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,607
All right, love,
whatever love wants.

346
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,343
Get the door. The door!

347
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,777
I'm getting the door.

348
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:47,314
You don't have to bray
like some subhuman monster.

349
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,016
Oh, go to hell!

350
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:55,155
Hi! Hi, there. Come on in.

351
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,757
-This is, um...
-Honey.

352
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,826
And this is Nick.

353
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,162
Oh, I thought his name
was what's-his-name.

354
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,497
Ha, ha, ha, ha!

355
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,699
Just ignore Homer, old sourpuss.

356
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,001
That's me.

357
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,970
Hey, sourpuss, why don't you
mix them a drink?

358
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,472
Yes, dear.

359
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,407
(Homer groans quietly)

360
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,010
I love your room.

361
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,012
We have the exact same
paintings.

362
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:26,886
You were this close to winning
The Three-Legged Chase.

363
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:31,624
You were right in there, Nick,
right at the meat of things.

364
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,626
There's no limit to you,
is there?

365
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,363
And how would you have played
the Three-Legged Chase?

366
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,498
Why don't I show you?

367
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:42,135
-Don't encourage her.
-Encourage me.

368
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,171
(Marge grunting)

369
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,211
Inside, outside,
inside, outside,

370
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:55,215
in, out, in, out,
in, out, in, out.

371
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,084
(both sigh)

372
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,186
You can sit around
with the minibar gin

373
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,820
running out of your mouth.

374
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,091
You can tear me apart like
the box the shower cap came in.

375
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,659
That's perfectly okay,
that's all right.

376
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,361
You can stand it.

377
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,097
I cannot stand it!

378
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,864
You can stand it.

379
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,033
You married me for it.

380
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:17,337
-Our son is dead.
-No, he isn't.

381
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,140
-We have no son!
-Yes, we do!

382
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,709
Oh, yeah, Bart.

383
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,111
(birds chirping)

384
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,913
Man, last night sure was
a searing portrait

385
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,715
of a marriage in turmoil.

386
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:33,120
It's still in turmoil, you
chocolate-gobbling dream killer.

387
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:37,190
Attention, everyone, gather
by the bowl of mini yogurts.

388
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,559
For the first time ever
on The Amazing Place,

389
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:42,129
two eliminated contestants
will be brought back

390
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,863
to compete in the finale.

391
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,064
(all gasp)

392
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,134
But here's the catch,
to get back in,

393
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:50,036
you have to dump your loved one
for another partner.

394
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,105
So, if your spouse screwed up,

395
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,040
this is your chance
to cut them loose.

396
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,309
It's the Dead Weight Drop.

397
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:58,111
(all grunting, murmuring)

398
00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:01,148
-I choose Nick.
-(all gasp)

399
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,949
That's got to sting, Homer.

400
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,984
I'm just glad
my friends and family

401
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:08,121
are never going to see me
humiliated like this.

402
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,690
(whimpering)

403
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,427
This is it, the final challenge:

404
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,763
Mango Tango.

405
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,065
First, pick and peel
enough fresh mango

406
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,168
to make six mango-ritas,

407
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:24,137
which you must then carry
across a log bridge.

408
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:28,107
But under the bridge is a pack
of mango-loving monkeys,

409
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,609
which can only be soothed

410
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,111
with music played
on a pennywhistle.

411
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,781
Also, there will be
a Kia Sportage in the background

412
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:37,116
that we couldn't figure out
how to fit into the challenge.

413
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,253
Your Mango Tango starts now.

414
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,955
And Marge draws first fruit.

415
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,925
I'll make the mango-ritas.

416
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,327
TAG:
Great teamwork.

417
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,996
Could this be
a million-dollar puree?

418
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,665
I'll handle those monkeys.

419
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,869
(angry screeching)

420
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,605
(playing melody on pennywhistle)

421
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,808
TAG: It's the ultimate groovy
chill-out flute jam.

422
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,611
Look, the monkeys are mellowing.

423
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,914
This is our Kia Sportage Moment.

424
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,618
I did it.

425
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,953
We won. Without Homer.

426
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,155
(laughs)

427
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,490
Marge and Nick,

428
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:20,827
I want to congratulate you
on winning The Amazing Place.

429
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,995
-NICK: Yay!
-I want to, but I can't.

430
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,131
(vacuum whirring)

431
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,635
Because you failed to salt
the rims of your mango-ritas,

432
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,138
rendering them mango-nothings.

433
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,174
(gasps) I screwed up a recipe?

434
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:38,578
So get out of the way of the
actual winners, Shawn and Barry.

435
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,746
Hey!

436
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,949
Our rims are super salty.

437
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,553
-(Nick grunts)
-(monkeys screeching)

438
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,588
NICK:
Hey! Hey, hey, come on. Oh!

439
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,058
I am such a noob.

440
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,195
I am such a noob.

441
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,698
(groans) What a noob.

442
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,100
-Total noob.
-Classic noob.

443
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:05,037
Homie, I was such a jerk.
How can I make it up to you?

444
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,507
Sweetheart, you already have.

445
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,109
I am such a noob.

446
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:11,444
(laughs)

447
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:14,414
I've screwed up so many times
in our marriage,

448
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:17,350
and people always feel
so sorry for you.

449
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:21,220
But with this epic noob blunder,
I'm the one they pity.

450
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:25,358
(shuddering):
Oh... pity. Oh...

451
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,594
Is this how you feel
all the time?

452
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:31,063
Uh, kind of. I just never
let myself enjoy it.

453
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:34,567
Oh, pity feels good.

454
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,135
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

455
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,537
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

456
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,272
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.

457
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:41,441
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

458
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,547
What should we watch next?

459
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,816
Ooh, I just heard about
a great new reality show.

460
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,785
PBS is showing a performance
of an Edward Albee play.

461
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,821
Sports talk it is.

462
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,825
How can you say that Phoenix
has any chance

463
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,493
to win the Western Conference?

464
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:02,061
What are you talking about?

465
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,597
We both picked the Phoenix Suns
to win it all.

466
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,466
Our Suns are dead.

467
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,501
No!

468
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,123
Shh!

