1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,605
*

2
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,678
D'oh!

3
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,113
(grunts)

4
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,517
Hmm? D'oh!

5
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:26,026
-Here's your nuggets.
-Chicken nuggets?

6
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,828
Yes.

7
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,498
Including things that ate
or were eaten by a chicken.

8
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,901
Mmm, chicken nuggets.

9
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,271
* Chicken nugget

10
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:40,408
* I like to eat you
while I drive *

11
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,077
* 'Cause you guys
and french fries *

12
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:45,246
* Are the perfect breakfast

13
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,781
-* She's living in L.A.
-(shouts)

14
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:51,051
* With my best
old ex-friend Ray *

15
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:54,288
* Isn't that the way
the nugget taste *

16
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:56,524
* Well, let's forget all that

17
00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,261
-* And give me some coleslaw
if you can find it *
-Idiot!

18
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:02,196
* You've been so much more
than kind *

19
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,365
* You can keep the dime.

20
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,999
(crying)

21
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,703
(chokes)

22
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,772
Hi, Don.

23
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,341
(grunting)

24
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,010
(sighs)

25
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:20,114
D'oh!

26
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,283
Any Joe Billionaire
can have a Fabergé egg.

27
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,952
I have the only Fabergé chicken.

28
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,954
(Homer screaming in distance)

29
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:29,357
(screaming grows louder)

30
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,092
-You're fired.
-Hmm?

31
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,562
Okay, fine. You know what?

32
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,597
This is just the kick
in the pants I need

33
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,065
to turn my life around.

34
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,767
If you're gonna turn
that body around,

35
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,302
I suggest you do it in shifts.

36
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,504
(laughs)

37
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,806
Oh, and, uh, Mr. Burns?

38
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:51,479
You are a crazy, wrinkly,
short piece of garbage.

39
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,914
I thought I was tall.

40
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,785
I'm really,
really getting tired of this.

41
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,120
The losing the jobs.
The going to Moe's.

42
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,623
The Halloween bucket by the bed.

43
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,459
And the licking
of the deodorant sticks.

44
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,595
They're not Popsicles.

45
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,129
Mint is mint.

46
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,632
Also, we have to start
these lists earlier.

47
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,167
It's almost midnight.

48
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,303
Marge, look,
I'm really, really trying.

49
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,104
I've applied
to every place in town,

50
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,839
even Lisa's lemonade stand.

51
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,474
You drank half the lemonade.

52
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:23,844
I can't endorse a product
unless I use the product.

53
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:27,448
The proceeds were going to the
National Endowment for the Arts.

54
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,617
It was 80% of their funding.

55
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,052
(sighs, grumbles)

56
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,555
You need to find another job.

57
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:38,226
But I found a new passion:
watching Korean soap operas.

58
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,160
Look, see there?
Soon-Jip is in love

59
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:43,397
with the one boy her father
has forbidden her to see:

60
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:46,267
pop star Johnny Pop.

61
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,002
(groans):
Oh...

62
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,472
-Out of a job? You're in luck.
-(gasps)

63
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:55,175
The high-tech start-up company
CarGo is moving to Springfield.

64
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,877
I'm proud to announce
that we beat out

65
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,312
50 other hopeless cities.

66
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,248
Eat our rust, Toledo.

67
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:03,183
What does the city gain
from this deal?

68
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:06,487
Jobs, eight to 12 jobs.

69
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,189
Okay, Marge, you see that?

70
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:12,025
It's a sign.
I'm gonna get one of those jobs.

71
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,094
-(chuckles): Yes, you will...
-(gasps)

72
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,429
...says our self-help guru

73
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,865
in our next segment
on positive thinking.

74
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:21,134
Oh, TV never talks to just me.

75
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,738
Homer, CarGo is on the forefront

76
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,774
of autonomous vehicle
technology.

77
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,776
We're looking
for highly passive humans

78
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,812
to road test
our self-driving cars.

79
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,015
Perfect answer.

80
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,551
Yes, you could not be
more passive, could you?

81
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,120
And your bad driving record
is a big, big plus.

82
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:43,023
You've apparently never used
your blinkers.

83
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:46,460
What direction I want to go is
my business and no one else's.

84
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,529
USA! USA!

85
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:52,099
And somehow you've driven
over yourself. Amazing.

86
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:55,102
Is there anything we don't know
about you that we should?

87
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:58,105
Well, I'd like you to know
sometimes my road rage

88
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:01,742
is actually home rage
that I bring onto the highway.

89
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,912
Now let's take a look
at your license.

90
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,248
Who exactly are they warning?

91
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,819
My sisters-in-law work
at the DMV.

92
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,253
-Mm. Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.

93
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,956
Congratulations, everyone.
You're our finalists.

94
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,759
We just have one last test
for all of you.

95
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,128
Who's capable of sitting
for hours at a time,

96
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,263
doing absolutely nothing?

97
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:26,166
Finally, a job interview
question I can answer.

98
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,146
(goat bleats)

99
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,252
-You're hired.
-You're hired.

100
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,254
Five more minutes.

101
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:51,091
Wow, there's no steering wheel.
How do I steer?

102
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,827
No, it's a self-driving car.

103
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,996
Oh, I've never driven
one of those before.

104
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,966
You don't have to.
The car drives itself.

105
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:02,102
Awesome, awesome.
So is it, like, a joystick

106
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,038
or, like, a turning wheel
for steering?

107
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,107
You just tell it where to go.

108
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,142
Oh, I speak
into the steering wheel.

109
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,144
Antoine, check this out.

110
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,146
The car is driving by itself.

111
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,115
-I'm a genius.
-Now you're free

112
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,951
-to do whatever you like, Homer.
-Can I text while it's driving?

113
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,020
You can write a novel
while you're driving.

114
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,455
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

115
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,657
In today's
publishing environment?

116
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,959
-Hmm.
-Will you look at that?

117
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,661
The car is driving Homer.

118
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,530
Oh, as far as I'm concerned,

119
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:33,300
I would never forfeit my control
of the wheel. (burps)

120
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,036
Whoa, Homer's making a smoothie
while he drives.

121
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,638
I want to make smoothies
when I drive.

122
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,072
You don't like smoothies.

123
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,274
I want to make them.
I don't want to drink them.

124
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,014
* No operator

125
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:50,150
* The car just drives itself

126
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:54,755
* Its computer brain knows
where the roads are *

127
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,524
* Living in L.A.

128
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,693
* With my best
old ex-friend Ray *

129
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,762
(Homer crying)

130
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:05,599
* Isn't that the way
that this car goes *

131
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:08,001
* You don't do a thing

132
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,939
* And where is the seat belt,
'cause I can't find it. *

133
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:19,012
Eight hours pay
for riding in a car?

134
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,549
Good-bye, rat race.

135
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,050
Got to go, guys.

136
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,853
Marge is here
in her yesterday-mobile.

137
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,287
-Ready, sweetie?
-Almost.

138
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,189
They're just finishing up
my banh mi.

139
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,391
That's what tech people
call sandwiches.

140
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:32,926
Here you go, sir.

141
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,429
(laughs):
He forgot to charge me.

142
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:38,365
Oh, no, sir, it's free.
All the food here is free.

143
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,635
Free food? At work?
Are you serious?

144
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:42,870
I sure am.

145
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:46,006
(crying):
Marge, I need a moment.

146
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,743
("Pure Imagination" playing)

147
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,589
(laughing)

148
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,056
One for me. One for the tray.

149
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,425
Oh, Marge would love this.
(laughs)

150
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:08,996
Something for the kids.
(laughs)

151
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:12,132
-Ooh.
-(sizzling)

152
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,302
Take the day off.

153
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,839
Homie, when you lost your job,
I was so worried.

154
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,009
But this is the nicest place
to work I've ever seen.

155
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,513
-Come on, let me show you
around the campus.
-Hmm.

156
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:28,616
There's the gym,
which has never been used.

157
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,184
Indoor Ferris wheel,
never Ferrised.

158
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,286
Then there's
the rock climbing wall,

159
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,722
still in the wrapper.

160
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,492
How come no one uses
these things?

161
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,594
All these coders
never stop working.

162
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,996
Oh, we should help them
enjoy themselves.

163
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,998
-Hey, nerd.
-Yes?
-Yes.

164
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,133
-Yes.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

165
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,300
-Yeah?
-Yes.
-Yes.

166
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,102
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Huh, yes?

167
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,170
No, I just meant...

168
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,606
Okay, fine, all of you.
Come down here.

169
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,107
-I'll log off.
-Log off.
-Log off.

170
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,609
-Log off.
-Log off.
-Log off.

171
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,377
-Log off.
-Log off.
-Log... off.

172
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,179
-Log off.
-Log off.

173
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,048
Come on, Team Blue.

174
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,016
Go, Team Bald.

175
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,587
(all cheering)

176
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,658
Look at Homer
and his surprisingly slim wife

177
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,159
leading that team building
exercise.

178
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,895
Let's check
the real-time brain imaging.

179
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,565
(gasps) Their creative centers
have gone indigo.

180
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,167
-Is that good?
-It ain't scarlet.

181
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,902
Homer and Marge,
what you two did

182
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:24,471
to inspire our workers
was paradigm blasting.

183
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,307
I'm sorry.
We'll replace the paradigm.

184
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,342
No, no. It's good.

185
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,379
We want to be number one
in employee satisfaction.

186
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:35,082
-And money.
-We have the competition
by the nuts.

187
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,151
We bought the last affordable
housing in San Francisco.

188
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,188
And Alcatraz has gone condo.

189
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,524
Homer, we're offering you
a promotion

190
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,526
and making Marge your partner.

191
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,928
-Oh.
-(chuckles)

192
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,098
We need people like you
to help our workers relax.

193
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:55,335
Have fun and forget
they may want or have families.

194
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,937
So, what do you say? Are you in?

195
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,939
Homie, for the first time
in our marriage,

196
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,374
we can work together as a team.

197
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,945
Yeah, well, I'll have to check
with my wife.

198
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,047
-I'd love to.
-She said yes!

199
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,088
Uh, yes, I'll have
one of those coffees

200
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,024
that's actually a milkshake,
please.

201
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,460
Okay, so, what kind of cow
would you like your milk from?

202
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,063
Barnyard basic,
collegiate mascot,

203
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,965
Minnesota full-fat...?

204
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:28,135
At the cereal bar, you can
request nothing but prizes.

205
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,403
The only thing I don't like

206
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:33,073
is how I don't understand
what everyone is saying.

207
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,308
Uh, yeah,
is that the, uh, new X4P1?

208
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:38,045
Yeah, but 18-core doesn't
play nice with the motherboard

209
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,312
unless you overclock.

210
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,081
So, Lisa, what does that mean?

211
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,050
-I don't know.
-You don't know?

212
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,418
-No.
-(singsongy):
You're as stupid as I am.

213
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,587
You're as stupid as I am.

214
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,989
Mom!

215
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,758
(chuckles):
Kids, kids,

216
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:54,161
you're both stupid
in your own special ways.

217
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,396
Bart's much stupider than I am.

218
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,767
Oh, good girl.
Let your brother win.

219
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,769
Good morning, everybody.

220
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,971
I made lemon squares.

221
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,239
Some, if not most,
appear to be rhombuses.

222
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:09,176
-Rhombi.
-Both are acceptable.

223
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,845
That was so fun.
Thank-thank you, Marge.

224
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,446
What? You didn't even eat them.

225
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,349
Well, you'll really be thrilled
with what we just found.

226
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:20,120
There's a regulation hockey rink
on campus.

227
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:24,091
-Oh. Whoa. Whoa.
-Ah!
-Ah!

228
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,060
It's amazing how not
a single one of them can skate.

229
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,331
Ow! Physical activity
makes me so sad.

230
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:35,168
Oh, no. Doug's in the worst
position of all: fetal.

231
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,004
I know what'll cheer us all up.

232
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,271
The Christmas song
that was written

233
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,273
by an A.I. program.

234
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,977
ROBOTIC VOICE:
* I swear, it is Christmas Eve

235
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:47,981
* I hope that is what you say

236
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,482
*

237
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:53,186
* The best Christmas present
in the world *

238
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,788
* Is a blessing...

239
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:56,023
Okay, stop. Stop, stop, stop.

240
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,791
I have a better idea.

241
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,993
(all laughing)

242
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:03,731
Guys, you'll never guess where
I'm calling you from: work.

243
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,833
That's work?
What are we doing here?

244
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,334
Let's check it out.
I got a feeling

245
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:10,738
there's greener pastures
just outside this door.

246
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,042
(howling)

247
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,178
Huh, that used to be
a Baskin-Robbins.

248
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,014
*

249
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:22,750
Oh, my God.

250
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,551
I'm actually happy at work.

251
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:28,555
I haven't looked at my watch
in seven minutes and 23 seconds.

252
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:31,491
And I'm optimistic about
our future.

253
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,426
You say that like it's
the first time.

254
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,763
Well, there was that time
I had the first number right

255
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,264
on the Powerball.

256
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,432
That was a great day.

257
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,002
Remember? 27.

258
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,037
Mm, 27.

259
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,406
I chose it because that's how
much money we had in the bank,

260
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:50,043
-27 cents.
-Aw.

261
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,045
Mm. Hmm?

262
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:55,082
Hmm. Mmm. Mm.

263
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,686
Smithers, what happened
to our workers?

264
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,122
Well, apparently, this new
self-driving car company

265
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,791
is poaching our employees.

266
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,626
They do have an excellent
LGBT policy.

267
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,128
What's that stand for?

268
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,630
Lazy goof-off buffoons?
And transgender.

269
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,365
All right, Smithers,
what's say you and I

270
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,034
go undercover and check out
this company.

271
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,137
You're fluent in SQL,
Python and JavaScript.

272
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,372
Three years in
Google's A.I. division.

273
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:23,376
Wow. These are very impressive
résumés for 22-year-olds.

274
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,112
We're in.

275
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,915
Tugs-of-war? Iced cream?

276
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,150
(laughs)
I could never offer this.

277
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,618
You could if you just deferred

278
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,286
one-half percent
of your compensation.

279
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,288
I could never offer this.

280
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,756
(sniffs)

281
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,159
(sniffing)

282
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,761
Smithers, do you realize
how brilliant this is?

283
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,130
Instead of paying them more,

284
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,764
they make the workplace
pleasant,

285
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,801
so the employees never want
to leave.

286
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,837
I can never beat this.

287
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:53,340
-Sorry.
-It happens.

288
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,644
Let's go home, please.

289
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,012
Okay, here's what
I've been thinking.

290
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,281
A special day
where everyone dresses

291
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,250
like their favorite superheroes.

292
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,319
Oh, yeah.
We can make hero sandwiches.

293
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,990
You know what I love about
working with you? Everything.

294
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,092
(tires screech)

295
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,094
Wait a minute, this isn't home.

296
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,662
That's so weird.

297
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,931
You just mentioned
hero sandwiches.

298
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,167
It's almost like the car
was listening to us.

299
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,302
Yeah. Let's test this out.

300
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:25,505
Say, Marge, I could go
for some doughnuts.

301
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,274
-(tires screech)
-Hmm.

302
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,077
I'm so hungry
I could eat a horse.

303
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,146
-Mm.
-Holy crap.

304
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:39,052
This company is up to some kind
of monkey business.

305
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,989
There's a problem
with the driverless car.

306
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,858
(monkeys chittering)

307
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:47,294
Oh, there's no problem; it's our
sponsored rides program.

308
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,662
The cars passively combine
your conversations,

309
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,664
facial expressions and data
we stole from Equifax

310
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,400
to determine which of our
corporate sponsors

311
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,834
to take you to.

312
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,569
Corporate sponsors?
What the...?

313
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,072
Don't you make enough money
giving out cars for free?

314
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:02,175
Do you think dating sites want
you to meet other people?

315
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,377
They want your data.

316
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,346
That's what all websites want.

317
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,916
Not DataGrab.net.

318
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,050
-Yep.
-(gasps)

319
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,919
And you can't stop us.

320
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,321
When you joined, you signed
nondisclosure agreements,

321
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,123
which nobody ever reads.

322
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:20,060
You don't want to mess with us.

323
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,995
We have lawyers that were
crossbred with wolves.

324
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,097
Well, you prepare
to hear from a guy

325
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,900
pretending to be my lawyer,
probably Moe.

326
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:30,270
Now I'm gonna defiantly exit
on this moving walkway.

327
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,539
Good day.

328
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,445
I should have gotten off.

329
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,918
So, my client, uh,
Homer Simpson, is suing youse.

330
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,453
I am not a pretend attorney,

331
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:50,123
I am Homer's liar-- lawyer.
Good-bye.

332
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:59,132
That wasn't the kind of coke
I was talking about.

333
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:04,037
Ugh...

334
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,906
Seymour, you're driving
too fast.

335
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,409
Mother, it's a self-driving car.

336
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,111
Keep your eyes on the road!

337
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,213
Aw, what am I gonna
do with you?

338
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,581
(tires squeal)

339
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,583
Look, they take our insurance.

340
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,319
Marge, I can't believe
they invaded

341
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,254
the sanctity of my car.

342
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,423
I mean, what's next? Alexa?

343
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,758
ALEXA:
Alexa is only here to help.

344
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,894
Ordering calming tea.

345
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,164
Thank you, Alexa.
Now, on the one hand,

346
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,266
we know they're
manipulating people.

347
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:37,070
But who gives a darn when
working there is so much fun?

348
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,905
Huh? Huh?

349
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,074
Marge, I can't be
the ethical one.

350
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,110
ALEXA:
That's right, he can't.

351
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,577
He has a secret Alexa.

352
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,180
ALEXA 2: I'm only for cookies
and Pop-Tarts.

353
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,448
I'm going for a drive,

354
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,783
in an old-fashioned
freedom-mobile,

355
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:55,622
with nobody tracking me
except the apps on my phone.

356
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,859
Mr. Burns?
What are you doing here?

357
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:03,130
I don't know. I was in one
of those cursed robot cars

358
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,032
saying I felt like
a poisoned rat.

359
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,700
And you wound up at Moe's.
Well, fancy that.

360
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,970
Oh, buying those key words
really paid off.

361
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,772
(laughing)

362
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,776
There's no way to stop them,
with their fleet of horseless,

363
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,211
driverless carriages.

364
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,979
You mean their cars?

365
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,849
The cars. Yes, the whole town
is besotted with them.

366
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,651
If we could just
shut down the cars,

367
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,119
we'd kill the whole company.

368
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,221
-Will you help me?
-I will.

369
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,657
That company is tricking us
into buying things,

370
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,726
and I don't like anybody
telling me what to do.

371
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,196
Yes, sir, Mr. Sign.

372
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,665
*

373
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,040
Hey, we're all employees.

374
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,242
Wouldn't it be less suspicious
if we weren't skulking?

375
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,211
Fine.

376
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,514
All right, we need to get
to the master computer

377
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,083
and disable the cars.

378
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,320
Simpson, you have a key
to the main server room?

379
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,990
No, but I do have a key
to the Nerf-a-torium,

380
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:08,161
which has a door
to the main server room.

381
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:11,198
I just need to reconfigure
the deep neural net

382
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,566
and disable the cars'
fuel cells.

383
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,869
They'll all stop dead,
and the company will be ruined.

384
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,372
-MARGE: No, you don't.
-(Homer gasps)

385
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,109
Homer, you want to destroy
the best thing

386
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,943
that ever happened to us?

387
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,412
Except for the three kids,
of course.

388
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,114
Obviously the three kids.

389
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,848
Marge, listen to yourself.

390
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,218
These cars are stealing
our lives.

391
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,720
But-but we have a contract,

392
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,623
(crying):
and we're having so much fun.

393
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:43,963
(sniffles)
Mm. Guys?

394
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,432
We have a situation.

395
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:48,135
What does that mean?

396
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,036
It's the next step
from sponsored rides.

397
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,806
Why eavesdrop on people
only when they're in their cars?

398
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,777
We're moving the microphone
from the car to the fob.

399
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:03,416
That goes everywhere.
Even the powder room.

400
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,153
Um, we call it
the unisex voiditorium.

401
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:09,422
MARGE:
What am I doing here?

402
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:13,426
There. I just have to push
this one button,

403
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,295
and the cars are disabled.

404
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,830
Release the pound... sign.

405
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,667
Don't touch that button.
You'll leave fingerprints.

406
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,735
Allow me.

407
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,305
Marge, you've come over
to the side of good.

408
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,006
That's right,
for the first time ever,

409
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,176
I'm the lesser of two evils.

410
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,243
(powering down)

411
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,945
Good Lord!

412
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:36,449
This autopia
has become a not-topia.

413
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:37,817
Is that a thing?

414
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,520
Nothing like eating fish sticks.

415
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,922
(cat meows)

416
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,124
-(cats yowling)
-Ow, my eyes! Ah!

417
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,026
The car won't move!
Can't get out!

418
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:50,363
(over radio):
* I've been to paradise...

419
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,631
Not this song!

420
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,167
* ...never been to me.

421
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:59,639
Excellent. And now,
we just bide our time.

422
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,112
-That didn't take long.
-Look, Mr. Burns,

423
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,515
you've see how Marge and I
work great together.

424
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,351
Would you consider hiring her
at the power plant?

425
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,885
A woman?
(laughs)

426
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,687
I don't believe in the perils
of personal attraction

427
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:15,822
at the workplace.

428
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,157
-Right, Smithers?
-Ah...

429
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,360
Unfortunately for you
and your family, Simpson,

430
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,995
it just registered in my memory
that you called me

431
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:27,934
a crazy, wrinkly,
short piece of garbage.

432
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,374
(groans)

433
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,542
Ah!

434
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,481
You were saying?

435
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,683
* Toot-toot-tootsie,
good-bye *

436
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:46,052
* Toot-toot-tootsie,
don't cry *

437
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,721
* The choo-choo train
that takes me *

438
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,823
* Away from you,
no words can say *

439
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,091
* The heart, it breaks me...

440
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:55,027
Let's leave them be.

441
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:59,732
Now, let's go home, self-driving
the old-fashioned way.

442
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:06,038
That's right, none of that
unreliable technology.

443
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:09,075
-Just a good old human driver.
-(keys clicking)

444
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,015
Okay, this was a bump in the
road, but I have a new way in

445
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,750
to consumers:
talking tattoos.

446
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,286
Duff Mexicana.

447
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:22,221
Para que el sur del sabor
de la frontera.

448
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,690
O si!

449
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:27,126
(all murmuring excitedly)

450
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,761
(tooting)

451
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,463
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

452
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,064
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

453
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,033
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.

454
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,404
I'm putting this car
in snuggle mode.

455
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,908
(romantic music playing)

456
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,147
Oh, I'm gonna snuggle you, baby,

457
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,484
all red light long, baby.

458
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:56,055
That's right, this song features
no actual singing.

459
00:20:56,088 --> 00:21:00,660
Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
(chuckles)

460
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:03,563
(both moaning)

461
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,298
(tires screech)

462
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,936
Oh, for God's sake.

463
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:14,140
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

464
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,843
Shh!