1
00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,140
[Lisa yawning]

2
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,665
[yawning loudly]

3
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,015
Ah.

4
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:19,323
In case you were wondering
why I'm so tired...

5
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,325
-I wasn't.
-I was up late

6
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:24,067
watching French films...
in French.

7
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:28,202
And then, last night,
my dreams were in French!

8
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:30,117
My dream is you keep moving.

9
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:36,340
FRENCH NARRATOR: Lisa Simpson, a bright girl in a dull school.

10
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,081
She likes the sound
a Sharpie makes

11
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,778
when she does well on a test.

12
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:42,303
[squeaking]

13
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:45,654
She adores the woody sweetness
of a fresh baritone reed.

14
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,177
Mmm.

15
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,092
But she hates,
more than anything,

16
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,964
finding a place
to eat at lunch.

17
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:54,141
♪

18
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,276
[gasps, groans]

19
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:02,018
[sighs]

20
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:07,110
What was this?

21
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,199
You will soon see.

22
00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:10,722
Frankly, I am redundant.

23
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,817
"J. Beardsley."

24
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,559
[gasps]
Jasper!

25
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,300
FRENCH NARRATOR:
Suddenly, in the middle

26
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,956
of this crap school,
a mystery!

27
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,350
Meanwhile, for the first time
in his life,

28
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,178
Homer would be disappointed
in a kitchen.

29
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,180
Oh, my God. Leftovers!

30
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:37,836
Air, nothing,
more air, space, air,

31
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,795
not spaghetti, not meatloaf,

32
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,145
missing chili,
absence of mac and cheese!

33
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,625
There must be some food here.

34
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,279
[gasps]

35
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,803
The devil's trees.

36
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,544
No!

37
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,502
-Homie, relax.
-Okay.

38
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:54,331
I've decided
to be a Tubberware salesperson.

39
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,290
Tubberware?
Isn't that the thing

40
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,161
where you find people
to host parties

41
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,642
where you then sell everyone
plastic food boxes?

42
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,731
Well, you do
your Kickstarters.

43
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,429
Hey, if people pay
to send me on my tour

44
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:08,737
of rocking chairs in the
Midwest, that helps everyone.

45
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,608
We really could use the money.

46
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,393
They're still garnishing
your wages

47
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,612
after that garnish war
you waged.

48
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,527
Please, Homie.

49
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,225
I want to open
a checking account

50
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:21,010
so the family finally has one.

51
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:24,318
Marge, no wife of mine
will ever have to work.

52
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,581
Is what men used to say
for some insane reason.

53
00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:28,670
You have my blessing.

54
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,802
Where's Jasper?
He's late again.

55
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,109
Maybe we should feed the birds
without him.

56
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,242
Don't tell me
you fed the birds without me?

57
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,113
You were in a coma!

58
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,810
Mein Gott,what else happened?

59
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:40,421
You won't like who's president.

60
00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,292
It's not Bernie?

61
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:45,991
[Amélietheme plays]

62
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,255
FRENCH NARRATOR: Lisa returned
Jasper's childhood,

63
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:51,562
and all she wanted
was her own secret giggle.

64
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:54,435
[whispers]:
Jasper.

65
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:55,784
[gasps, coughs]

66
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,352
Oh, my God.

67
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:03,444
What do you got there?
A bento box?

68
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,837
Somebody's ashes?
Apple TV?

69
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,449
Oy. One more guess,
and I'm gonna need a nap.

70
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:09,841
When I was six years old,

71
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,148
I brought my treasure box
for show-and-tell.

72
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,368
Another kid took it,
never gave it back.

73
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,631
[cries softly]
And now, somehow, it's here.

74
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,068
I've been angry my whole life,
but suddenly,

75
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:22,114
the world seems... magical.

76
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,334
FRENCH NARRATOR:
For the first time ever,

77
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:26,031
Lisa experienced a feeling

78
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:28,512
that could only be described
as...magnifique.

79
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,384
I don't mean to overstate this,

80
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,299
but the sun is shining
a little bit brighter,

81
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:36,259
because of me!

82
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,435
Tubberware?
I'd love to buy some.

83
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,307
No, you don't buy it now.

84
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:43,658
You have a party, and then
I sell it to your friends.

85
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,399
-No!
-[sighs]

86
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,357
You have the party
at your house...

87
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,837
Oh.

88
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,405
Then, when your friends
fill out the order forms, we...

89
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:52,710
Oh.

90
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,843
If you host a Tubberware party,

91
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:58,325
you get an exclusive gift:
a lemonade pitcher!

92
00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:02,764
Ma'am, if the good Lord wanted
us to store juice in plastic,

93
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:06,246
he wouldn't have made
a possum's bladder watertight.

94
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,684
JULIO:
Okay, Marge, you're like

95
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,860
a black hole of sadness
and split ends.

96
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,340
What is wrong with you?

97
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:16,517
I haven't booked
a single Tubberware party.

98
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,345
I don't know why
I thought I could do this.

99
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:21,913
I don't have that... What's the
Jewish word for "chutzpah"?

100
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,654
You mean you have no confidence?

101
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:26,440
I don't.
I always take the bad pancake.

102
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,660
I spend so much time putting
sunscreen on everyone else,

103
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,532
I get sunburned.

104
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:35,710
Ooh. Just like with a doormat,
the key is underneath.

105
00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,581
-Huh?
-You know what?

106
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,583
I will throw
a Tubberware party for you.

107
00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,585
But it's gonna take me
a while to plan.

108
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,805
-How about tonight?
-You're on!

109
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:46,460
What the heck are you doing?

110
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:49,593
That's a punchbowl,
and that's for leftover lasagna.

111
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:52,553
What?! Whoever heard
of leftoverlasagna?

112
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,598
[groans] Maybe you should
just go to Moe's.

113
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,166
Fine, but I'm not
gonna get drunk.

114
00:04:57,209 --> 00:05:00,474
Oh, okay, sweetie,
I'll get drunk.

115
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,693
I just can't stay sober at you.

116
00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:04,478
[groans] Aah!

117
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:06,784
I can't do this.
I can't do this!

118
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,700
Can't? Can't?
Marge, I never want

119
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:13,356
to hear you use
the C-A-next-Tuesday word again.

120
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,925
You need to tap
into your female warrior side.

121
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,492
I don't have one of those.

122
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,494
Then we're gonna have
to create one!

123
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,496
Makeover time!

124
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:23,845
[air compressor whirring]

125
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:27,544
Okay, think pretty thoughts!

126
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,329
[hissing]

127
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:35,247
Now, get rid of those things
on your feet and put these on.

128
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,427
Mmm. It changes my whole body.

129
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:44,300
[gasps]
And what is going on back there?

130
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:48,304
Behold, your rump has become...
a booty, baby!

131
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,653
Mm-hmm.

132
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:53,265
Now go out there
and sell some thingies!

133
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,267
Mmm.

134
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,226
GRADY:
Julio,

135
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,619
what is this?
I don't want to sit

136
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,403
through some kind
of sales pitch.

137
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:03,014
I just want a simple evening
of appetizers,

138
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:05,626
cocktails and nitrous oxide.

139
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:07,802
[lower voice]:
Hello, boys.

140
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,978
I see you're checking out
the merchandise.

141
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:13,808
Let me assure you,
the lids match the tubs.

142
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,026
[all laughing]

143
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:18,682
Mm. Mm-hmm.

144
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:22,207
Oh. You should have told us this
was a drag Tubberware party.

145
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:25,515
He's the most convincing woman
I've ever seen.

146
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,038
Oh, oh, yes, yes.

147
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,214
Heis quite the impersonator.

148
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,478
He calls himself "Marge."

149
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,828
Perfect! "Marge."

150
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:36,918
If she were any more camp,
she'd be a Coleman lantern.

151
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:41,009
All right, boys,
let's put tops on bottoms.

152
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,578
[all laughing]

153
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,841
And you wanted to go dancing.

154
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:49,234
Mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm.

155
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,280
And voilà-- a Marge-tini!

156
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,934
But don't worry.

157
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,937
That's not the only surprise
I've got tucked away.

158
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,243
-She's funny.
-Bea Arthur funny?

159
00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,115
No one's that funny.

160
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,944
FRENCH NARRATOR: And that night,
Marge sold more Tubberware

161
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,467
than she ever imagined.

162
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,470
And I,
drawn by the farcical premise,

163
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,646
began narrating her story, too.

164
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,387
Look at all these orders!

165
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,910
I'm really good at this.

166
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:15,522
Yeah, well, uh, you see, um...

167
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,524
"Marge" is good at this.

168
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:20,048
Yeah, Marge. Me. I'm Marge.

169
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,745
Okay, so here's
what happened, okay?

170
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,835
This is so important,
I'm gonna drop the accent.

171
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,620
[without accent]:
Everyone thought

172
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,448
-you were a drag queen.
-[gasps]

173
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,714
I felt so pretty,
but the whole time,

174
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,672
people thought I was a man.

175
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:38,501
A man who looked like
a fabulous woman!

176
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:42,723
Drag queens can be
very beautiful. Exhibit: me.

177
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:45,334
I call myself
"Penelope Cruising."

178
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:48,729
I was Mr. Burns's date
for the Kennedy Center Honors.

179
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:50,644
See? Look how cute I am.

180
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,995
All his dates have
to give him transfusions.

181
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:57,607
Now I know why he said
I was his type.

182
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,087
You get it?

183
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,524
Well, the next time,
I'm just going to be myself.

184
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,527
But that wasyou,
you with confidence.

185
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,529
Oh, you're just being nice.

186
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,792
It was ju! It was ju! It was ju!

187
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,578
And besides,
the top Tubberware sellers--

188
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,231
they're all drag queens.

189
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,277
What? That can't be true.

190
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,589
So, what do you say, Marge?
Are you in it to win it?

191
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,591
CONTAINER:
Go for it, Marge!

192
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:27,202
Who cares if what's outside
doesn't match what's inside?

193
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:31,772
I'm labeled "Lunch Snacks,"
but people use me to store pot.

194
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,817
And I'm for storing bread.

195
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:37,821
All the bread you're gonna make
selling Tubberware.

196
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,736
Did you just high-five
that bowl?

197
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,565
Be cool, Marge. Be cool.

198
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:46,264
Homer, order anything you like.
It's on me.

199
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,179
Anything.

200
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,704
Okay. I'm gonna need two menus
and four tables.

201
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:52,444
And get rid
of all this silverware.

202
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,708
-It just slows me down.
-I got it. I got it.

203
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:58,363
We need help. Someone get Mama
back from bingo.

204
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,365
I am on my way.

205
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:02,063
But all you need is a "G."

206
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:05,066
You should be like the "G"
in gnocchi--

207
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:07,590
silent!

208
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,680
Mmm. Oh, Marge, thank you.

209
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:13,378
Thank you. I'm so happy!

210
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,467
And there it is.

211
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:20,211
Leftover lasagna.

212
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,830
D'oh!

213
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,049
FRENCH NARRATOR: Lisa still
felt sort ofmagnifique,

214
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,835
but the magical feeling from
her good deed started to fade.

215
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,837
So she thought:

216
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,882
why not secretly bring magic
into others' lives?

217
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:40,667
Yes.

218
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,843
FRENCH NARRATOR: Her first
project: restore the lost love

219
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:46,281
between the identical-looking
Kirk and Luann.

220
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:49,458
[Amélietheme plays]

221
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,080
KIRK: Looks like dying my nose hair's

222
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,909
really paying off!

223
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,737
FRENCH NARRATOR:
Next, Lisa helped Gil,

224
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,000
Springfield's Pepé Le Pew,
minus the charm.

225
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:13,787
Sir, would ya like one?
No, huh? Well, I guess not.

226
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,919
Ma'am? Uh, maybe next time.

227
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:18,008
Come on! I only get paid
if they're all gone.

228
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,881
And they check the trash,
believe me.

229
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,623
Oh, my God.
People are taking them!

230
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:28,584
I'm turning the heat on
in my car tonight.

231
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:33,807
LISA:
Bart. Wake up.

232
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,722
Bart! I need your help again.

233
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,941
FRENCH NARRATOR:
But Lisa's greatest challenge

234
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,943
was to make Mrs. Skinner
believe in her son again.

235
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,380
So Lisa created an imaginary
journal for Seymour,

236
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,382
one that would mend all fences.

237
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:47,734
I have to get this fake diary
into Skinner's house.

238
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,257
Here's the key.

239
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,259
Here's a floor plan
of the house.

240
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:54,262
Oh, and here's some tuna.
I'm making his cat really fat.

241
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,699
[yawning]

242
00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,833
So Lisa hid the diary

243
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,878
where she knew Mrs. Skinner
would find it--

244
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,794
anywhere a grown man
would expect privacy.

245
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:05,969
Huh?

246
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,537
"Mother is a great woman."

247
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,539
[gasps]
Seymour loves me!

248
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,846
Oh, my God!
How does a mother apologize

249
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:16,501
for 50 years
of ridiculing her son?

250
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:20,201
A gift card now,
and an apology on my deathbed.

251
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:23,770
Meanwhile, to help perfect
her art and increase business,

252
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,206
Julio took Marge

253
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:27,208
to Springfield's
hottest drag club,

254
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:30,428
with its most confusing
bathroom signage.

255
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,214
Marge, this is Queen Chanté,

256
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,433
Barbra Streisman,

257
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,566
the Mysterious Waylon,

258
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,437
and Fiona Adams Apple.

259
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,005
Hello, squirrel-friend.

260
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,441
You're the tallest thing
I ever...

261
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,226
[gasps]
And you're still getting up.

262
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:47,141
Honey, I spend half my day
getting up

263
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,012
and the other half getting down.

264
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,188
-Oh-kurr?!
-This is the kind of confidence

265
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,581
that you need.

266
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,235
The secret is to imagine

267
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:57,891
the fiercest version
of yourself, then realize...

268
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,762
you arethat version!

269
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,590
Mel, is that you?

270
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:05,420
Yes! I've taped my bone
between my legs.

271
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:08,162
Your Majesty,
can Marge lip-synch with us?

272
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,817
Honey, I'll tell you
what I told Eddie Murphy:

273
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,819
"Sure, why not?"

274
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:15,038
So, tell me about
this "Marge" character.

275
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:16,997
What is she like?

276
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,173
Well, she's long-suffering,

277
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,957
kind of a single mom...

278
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,916
and that's it.

279
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:26,963
She's a damn hero, is what
she is, sis. [clucks tongue]

280
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:30,010
♪

281
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:34,057
♪ You've got all eyes on you♪

282
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,798
♪ A nasty housewife lady♪

283
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,669
♪ Come out of your mom shell♪

284
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:39,846
♪ And become a bombshell♪

285
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,848
♪ You've got this, Margie♪

286
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,850
♪ You're stronger
than you know♪

287
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,677
♪ Get up and dance♪

288
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,636
-Oh!
-♪ Get up, get up and♪

289
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,507
♪ Sashay with Chanté♪

290
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,074
♪ Work that blue bouffanté♪

291
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,510
♪ Do it, do it♪

292
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:53,729
♪ Oh♪

293
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,513
♪ All the boys say♪

294
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,298
Women can have it all.

295
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,213
Even penises!

296
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,649
♪ She's so chic♪

297
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:02,651
♪ Such savoir faire♪

298
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,479
♪ Serving housewife realness♪

299
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,524
♪ Selling Tubberware♪

300
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,744
♪ She's a female phenomenon♪

301
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,094
♪ And much more than a mom♪

302
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,443
♪ So sexy, so snuggable♪

303
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,750
♪ Her cocoa is so chuggable♪

304
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,839
♪ Our blue duck
has become a swan♪

305
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,841
♪ She's a Glamazon.♪

306
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:22,105
♪ Sashay with Chanté♪

307
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,107
♪ Work that blue bouffanté...♪

308
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,456
Oh, hi, Helen.

309
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,110
Hi, Marge.

310
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:28,895
I heard you're selling
Tubberware.

311
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,897
Money troubles at home?

312
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,116
Why are you so bitter, Helen?

313
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,728
Is it because your husband would
rather play with his toy train

314
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,687
than with you?

315
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,862
-[gasps]
-All aboard!

316
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,777
Not Helen!

317
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,693
You better beware, Bart.

318
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,869
Mom just grew a backbone.

319
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:53,049
-[Mrs. Skinner laughs]
-You mean it, Mother?

320
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,269
You'll finally let me take
karate lessons?

321
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,097
I'll even buy you a gi.

322
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,099
Oh, I won't have
to wear pajamas?

323
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,536
Only at bedtime--
which I'm moving to

324
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,886
after The Big Bang Theory.

325
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,670
Bazinga!

326
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,368
FRENCH NARRATOR:
All seemed well,

327
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,979
but likeYoung Sheldon,
it would not last forever.

328
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,159
Oh, hello, Mother. Karate
is so much better than I ever...

329
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,727
Seymour! I knew
this journal was a lie!

330
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:21,164
Um, how would you know that?

331
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,992
Seymour never uses semicolons.

332
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,126
He says they make him queasy.

333
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:29,042
I don't even keep a journal.
I have no inner thoughts.

334
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,348
I planted that journal.
I'm sorry.

335
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:34,612
I did it so you'd
be nicer to your son.

336
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:37,311
Nicer?! I spoiled
the little loser!

337
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,966
But not anymore.

338
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:41,532
I'm so sorry.

339
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,143
[sobbing]

340
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,624
Oh, my God, that poor girl.

341
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:49,410
Go to her, Seymour.
Give her an "A."

342
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,195
The teachers' union forbids me
from giving out

343
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,371
anything more encouraging
than a pumpkin sticker.

344
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:57,157
You're a disgrace
to that yellow belt!

345
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,768
[giggling]
Look at me, boys!

346
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:02,336
I'm living off my wife
like Mr. Meryl Streep!

347
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,859
Don Gummer.

348
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,383
Homer, do you know exactly
what Marge is up to?

349
00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:09,430
Because, uh, we know, and
we've told everybody except you.

350
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:10,866
Like true friends.

351
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,998
[both chuckle]

352
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,129
What's going on?

353
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,218
If you want to know the truth,

354
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,004
-go to this address.
-That's the address of this bar.

355
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,223
That's right.
Get really drunk,

356
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,400
then go to thisaddress. Uh-huh.

357
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,620
[groans nervously]

358
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,233
Hello. Are you on the list?

359
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,801
I have to be on the list
for a Tubberware party?

360
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,629
Well, you do for thisone.

361
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:38,241
Marge is like if Donna Reed
and Donna Summer combined

362
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:40,896
to solve all your
food storage problems.

363
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,159
And rumor has it, out of drag,

364
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:46,641
Marge is hot, hunky and all man.

365
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,643
My wife is none of those things!

366
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,471
She leaves the room to burp!

367
00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:53,822
Marge! You didn't tell me
you're tricking all these people

368
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:56,259
into thinking you're
a drag queen, when you're really

369
00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:59,915
a regular housewife in need
of empowerment, and now...

370
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:03,049
that I say it out loud,
it doesn't seem so bad.

371
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,702
She's not a female impersonator.

372
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,488
-She's just a personator.
-Women co-opt everything.

373
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:08,837
GEOFFREY:
Good to see

374
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,882
another couple in trouble.

375
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,928
-Let's go, Dewey.
-I'm not leaving

376
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,278
till I find my butter tub.

377
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,019
Look in the mirror.

378
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:21,719
HOMER:
Kids,

379
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,721
please give us a moment.

380
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,506
You're cool.

381
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,421
"Marjorie,
I'm not a perfect man,

382
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,466
"but I like to think
I've evolved.

383
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,033
"I've accepted
the several different actors

384
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,643
"who played Batman.

385
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:35,298
I now believe cats
should earn as much as dogs."

386
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,213
I don't want to hear
your stupid speech.

387
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:42,044
I had a moment of confidence,
and now it's destroyed.

388
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:44,090
I'mgoing out.
Youcan watch the kids

389
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,700
and wonder where Iam.

390
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,051
[gasps]

391
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:52,098
[fake snoring]

392
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:55,579
No. I don't want anything
to do with him.

393
00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,280
[Lisa crying]

394
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:03,283
Lisa, are you okay?

395
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:05,676
I tried to play God,
and like the real God,

396
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,417
it went horribly wrong.

397
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:10,333
FRENCH NARRATOR: Life was a struggle for the Simpson women.

398
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,552
Even Maggie.

399
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,511
But where there is life,
there is hope.

400
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,732
[sound of rooster crowing]

401
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,778
That was the beginning
of a new day, a wonderful day,

402
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:23,694
a day that would soon change
the Simpson women forever.

403
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:26,741
[Amélietheme plays]

404
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,966
♪

405
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,144
[sighs]:
Oh...

406
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:42,235
Read the tots.

407
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,975
LISA:
"Go to the roof"?

408
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:45,151
Enjoy.

409
00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:47,370
Next!

410
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,502
NELSON:
Huh?

411
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,373
Aw, man!

412
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:55,335
Lisa, would you
join us for lunch?

413
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:59,339
We decided to bring some magic
into yourlife.

414
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:05,040
Ah, you deserve it, sweetie.
You're the only person

415
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,825
in this town who thinks about
someone other than herself.

416
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:11,394
The only person who would listen
to old Gil when he...

417
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:14,397
She had finally found
her place to eat lunch.

418
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:17,183
But what is this? Has Homer
lost his will to drink?

419
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,185
Homer, we're sorry we razzed ya.

420
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,274
We were just trying
to hurt your feelings.

421
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,971
I am so sorry.

422
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,842
I don't know what I can do.

423
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,844
Nothing you cando.
Change your name,

424
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:29,369
glue on a wig
and find yourself a new woman.

425
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:30,848
[gasps]
That's it!

426
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,546
Moe, you're a genius!

427
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,156
Wish me luck.

428
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,814
Why do people always stride out
without paying their tab?

429
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:42,860
I have no idea.
But as God is my witness,

430
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:45,254
I will find out!

431
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:50,433
You two stay right there.

432
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:51,608
♪

433
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:54,394
Everyone, I have
two enormously sad things

434
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:57,223
I feel a need
to tell all of you.

435
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,399
Number one--
I've deceived you.

436
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,662
I'm not a drag queen.

437
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:03,794
[chuckles]
Girl, you didn't deceive nobody.

438
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:05,405
We all knew.

439
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,798
I didn't know,
but I'm super self-involved.

440
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,018
Oh. Now number two.

441
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:12,020
FRENCH NARRATOR: And, as always
happens in such matters,

442
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:14,022
number two is the kicker.

443
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:15,458
My husband and I have had

444
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,591
more than the usual number
of scrapes,

445
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:20,376
but we've always
gotten back to our love.

446
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,899
But this time,

447
00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:25,251
you all made me feel
understood and supported,

448
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:29,864
and therefore made me realize
how selfish Homer is.

449
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:32,258
-ALL: Oh...
-Oh, honey.

450
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,825
And what hurts the most
is that I can't imagine

451
00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:38,612
there's anything he can say
or do to make me come back.

452
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,657
HOMER:
Oh. Well, then I went through

453
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,703
a lot of work for nothing.

454
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:45,706
-Homie.
-Honey, I understand it now.

455
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:48,404
The feeling of power,
the mystery,

456
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:51,407
wondering:
is she or isn't she?

457
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:54,062
Hey, believe me,
nobody is wondering, baby.

458
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,107
♪

459
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:58,936
Ow!

460
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:00,895
If you don't go to him,
Marge, I will.

461
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:02,940
And he will never leave
my kitchen.

462
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:07,380
My pulled pork banh mi
keeps baby in the cradle.

463
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:09,469
Oh, Homie, I love you!

464
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:12,646
["You Make Me Feel"
by Sylvester playing]

465
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,909
♪ When we're
out there dancing...♪

466
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:18,086
Having a man dressed
like a woman

467
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,654
to win back his woman
who pretended to be

468
00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,482
a man dressed like a woman

469
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:25,485
is the most romantic thing
I've ever seen.

470
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,313
FRENCH NARRATOR:
And so all was well.

471
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:30,664
Au revoir
jusqu'à la prochaine fois,

472
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:31,926
or, in English...

473
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,363
Bye!

474
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,761
So, are you a...
you're a drag queen now?

475
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:43,285
I don't know. I guess these days
it's okay for everyone

476
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:46,723
-to be everything.
-So, miss, are you alone?

477
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,464
It's me, Homer!

478
00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,553
Hmm? Oh!

479
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:54,253
All the good ones
are either married or Homer.

480
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:41,300
Shh!

481
00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:46,217
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH