1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,008 ♪ 2 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,612 (shrieks) 3 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,719 (school bell rings) 4 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,090 (burps) 5 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,192 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,626 (yells) 7 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,132 (beeps) 8 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,837 ♪ 9 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,806 (playing upbeat harp music) 10 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:45,579 (tires screech) 11 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,883 D'oh! 12 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,452 (grunts) 13 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,487 (1950s-style sitcom theme playing) 14 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,659 (1960s-style sitcom theme playing) 15 00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:08,336 (1970s-style sitcom theme playing) 16 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:11,972 Oh! 17 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,809 (1980s-style sitcom theme playing) 18 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,484 (screaming) 19 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:28,956 (all exhale) 20 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,298 -BOTH: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? -(Homer groaning) 21 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,133 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 22 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,734 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 23 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,636 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 24 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:45,639 You're here, you're just in a long line. 25 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,841 -Thank you. -We appreciate it. 26 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,843 -(phone chimes) -(gasps) 27 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:51,044 Points. 28 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,416 -(baby laughs) -Follow me. 29 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,286 -Where? -Points. 30 00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,688 Points, points, excuse me, points. 31 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,656 -Coming through, points. -My visor! 32 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,596 No, Dad. No. We've been in line for an hour. 33 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,264 Hmm, you have a point. 34 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,200 -(gasps) Points! -(shouts) 35 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,401 (tires screech) 36 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,471 Will you please explain where you're taking us, 37 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,139 and don't just say "points." 38 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,542 Okay. Over a lifetime of credit card debt, 39 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,345 and paying for credit card debt with worse credit card debt, 40 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:27,147 this family has two million hotel rewards 41 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:30,651 loyalty... points, which we can only use 42 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:34,455 at the nearest Second Best Western Motel. 43 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,325 Oh, Dad, the points expire at midnight. 44 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,793 No worries. 45 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,663 If I average 80 miles an hour for 14 straight hours, 46 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,199 -we'll make it. -I love you, Homer. 47 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,700 -Step on it, Dad! -(phone vibrating) 48 00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,536 And I'll field this call from Grampa. 49 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,471 (falsetto voice): Connection failed. 50 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,672 GRAMPA (over phone): But my liver! 51 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,341 So where exactly are we going? 52 00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,142 Niagara Falls. 53 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,977 -Eh. -Meh. -Paid for by points. 54 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,513 (chanting): Points! Points! Points! 55 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:03,351 I spy a closed-down Toys"R"Us. 56 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,554 (groans) 57 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:10,023 I spy a bankrupt Sears and Roebuck. 58 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,025 -D'oh! -I don't know about this game. 59 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,994 I find it a little... (gasps) 60 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,365 Circuit City overrun by wild dogs. 61 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,833 (barking, growling) 62 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:20,934 BART AND HOMER: Booyah! 63 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,437 How can you booyah this country's decline? 64 00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:24,938 Cheer up, honey. 65 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:28,242 We're headed to the one place that can never decline, 66 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:33,080 because it was never that great: Upstate New York. 67 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,115 ♪ 68 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,691 ♪ Start watching Fox News ♪ 69 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:48,028 ♪ Stop watching your weight ♪ 70 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:52,032 ♪ There is no fancy part of it ♪ 71 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,969 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 72 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:59,707 ♪ They're fond of their booze ♪ 73 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,077 ♪ Hot wing sauce is great ♪ 74 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:07,748 ♪ I'm gonna clog my heart in it ♪ 75 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:11,952 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 76 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:16,324 ♪ I want to sleep in, in a city ♪ 77 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:19,927 ♪ That never wakes ♪ 78 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,096 ♪ And find I'm fitting right in ♪ 79 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,333 ♪ One of the gang ♪ 80 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:28,135 ♪ Par for the course ♪ 81 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:32,306 ♪ The Kodak plant closed ♪ 82 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:37,478 ♪ But I'm longing to stay ♪ 83 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:41,415 ♪ And go on disability ♪ 84 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:46,119 ♪ In Upstate New York ♪ 85 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:49,923 ♪ Can't make it anywhere ♪ 86 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:53,594 ♪ But I can make it there ♪ 87 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:57,831 ♪ I love you so ♪ 88 00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:01,234 ♪ Upstate New York. ♪ 89 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,807 Benedict Arnold fought here, baby. 90 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,778 (birds chirping) 91 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,713 You want a quarter for the binoculars? 92 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:13,881 I guess. 93 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,450 Those tourist binoculars are never that strong. 94 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:17,851 (coin clatters) 95 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,991 LISA: Now, that's worth a quarter. 96 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,326 BART: So magnificent. 97 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,964 Hey, Lis, want to bounce? 98 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:34,468 Not till I've soaked in the full majesty of the falls. 99 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,604 And done. 100 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,408 Take that, blue boy. 101 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,242 Eat rubber, red head. (grunts) 102 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:45,579 I can't believe the kids are already bored with the view. 103 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,080 Mmm. 104 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,082 While the kids are bouncing around, 105 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:52,019 why don't we do a little bouncing, too? 106 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,387 (laughs) 107 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:57,157 That's even more romantic than what you said at Fort Dix. 108 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,326 (both moaning) 109 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,495 (both grunting) 110 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,531 -Whoa! -(laughs) 111 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:08,201 Let's see, the angle of rebound equals the angle of incidence. 112 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,605 (gasps) 113 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:15,743 Ooh, I forgot to account for surface irregularities. 114 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,046 (gasps) 115 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,381 Okay, time to take a sick day. 116 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,216 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God! 117 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,385 Ooh, a rainbow. 118 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,087 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 119 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,956 (grunts) 120 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,693 (pops loudly) 121 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,294 (groans) 122 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,996 Where am I? 123 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:40,300 Oh... handsome, horsey. 124 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,035 Am I in heaven? 125 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,605 Even better, eh? You're in beautiful Canada... 126 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:48,308 is what I'd say if Canadians weren't too modest to brag. 127 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,643 But we are. 128 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,645 Oh... 129 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:54,482 I have a young girl who may-- I repeat, may-- 130 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,383 need medical attention, eh? 131 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,418 -I repeat: eh. -(sirens wailing) 132 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,925 (sighs) 133 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,931 Ms. Simpson, you're a very lucky lady. 134 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,300 Oh, sweetie, thank God, thank God. 135 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,302 (grunting) 136 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,939 Your daughter's fine, but I recommend a five-day stay. 137 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,642 Of course, of course. We'll take out a third mortgage. 138 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:26,814 Sir, you're in Canada now, where your health care is free. 139 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,449 Free health care. Why can't America do that? 140 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:30,984 She's delirious, Doc. 141 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,687 America can't pay for health care and give corporations 142 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:36,356 the tax breaks they so desperately need. 143 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:37,858 I'm not delirious. 144 00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,628 In fact, I've never felt more protected. 145 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,329 Not like back home. 146 00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:45,533 Ooh, hang on. Did you just say you don't feel safe 147 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,934 in your home country? 148 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,936 Why should she feel safe? 149 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,472 In America, the great El Barto roams the streets. 150 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:55,142 So, let me get this straight: you're afraid of America. 151 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,544 Is that right, young lady? 152 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,179 -Well, there's voter suppression... -Shh. 153 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,982 -...and utter disregard for the environment... -Shh. 154 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,818 ...a president who's such a son of a... -Shh. 155 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,955 Oh, save that language for the lower 48. 156 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,525 No, I'm telling you. Our president really is a god... 157 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,661 -Shush. -We know. 158 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,130 (moans) 159 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,300 Lisa, as you're clearly a victim of political persecution 160 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,070 who fears for her life, I must keep you in Canada 161 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,473 where you'll be safe and assigned your own hockey team. 162 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,342 Please not Ottawa, please not Ottawa. 163 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,812 Yeah, I'm, I'm so sorry. 164 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,314 (gasps) You can't keep my daughter. 165 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,984 She's the heart and soul of this family. 166 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,252 -Hey. What am I? -You're the spleen. 167 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,421 We don't know what it does and we don't care. 168 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:42,756 My hands are tied, ma'am. 169 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,925 She's in the asylum pipeline now. 170 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,927 You can't separate us from our child. 171 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,562 That's America's thing. 172 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,263 Well, then you leave us no choice. 173 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:53,867 We have to deport you, Canadian-style. 174 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,636 Great. Come on. Bring it in, bring it in. 175 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:05,012 Lisa, are they taking care of you? Are you eating okay? 176 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,680 (Canadian accent): Look, I'm fine, eh. 177 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,115 We're losing her. 178 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,449 Mom, I'm okay. 179 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,218 They put me in a nice foster home 180 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,886 with Gord and Francette here. 181 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,387 Enough with the accent. 182 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,723 (regular accent): Okay. 183 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:18,391 Lisa, where should we go for dinner tonight? 184 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,527 Harvey's or Swiss Chalet? 185 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,095 How about Mr. Submarine? 186 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,864 (gasps) Or Earls? 187 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,132 Don't forget Humpty's. 188 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:29,302 Mmm, restaurant chains I never heard of. 189 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,105 (moans) 190 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,775 Homer, you take Bart back to Springfield. 191 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,444 I am going for my daughter. 192 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,313 Local smarty-pants Lisa Simpson has been abducted 193 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:43,450 by America's Ned Flanders to the north, Canada. 194 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,953 Here in Springfield, reactions to Lisa's loss 195 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,756 have been loud and uninformed. 196 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,624 Lisa was the moral center of this town. 197 00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,626 Now it's Barney, who knows nothing. 198 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:56,129 Except it is the purpose of government to see that not only 199 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,799 the legitimate interests of the few are protected, 200 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,501 but that the rights of the many are conserved. 201 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,772 -Shut your gibber-hole. (grunts) -Ow! 202 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:08,241 Ugh! She was the only one in this band worth a tinker's damn. 203 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,811 -(all groaning) -Oh, come on. 204 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,279 You know you all stink. 205 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:15,182 We've been working on the same song for 30 years. 206 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,817 ♪ 207 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,853 (gasps) Can you fall in love with a country? 208 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:23,623 The science textbooks acknowledge climate change. 209 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,993 Class, let's give an enthusiastic 210 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,461 but quiet hello to Lisa Simpson. 211 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,130 STUDENTS: Hello. 212 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,666 As an American, I'd like to apologize 213 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,301 for something our president said about 214 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,970 your wonderfully progressive prime minister. 215 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,606 Is there any way I can send a note? Or maybe I could... 216 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,775 -Right this way. -Oh. 217 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,844 Hmm! 218 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,979 -Mr. Trudeau? -Yes, Lisa? 219 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,380 Oh. 220 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:51,484 I am really, really sorry about what our president called you. 221 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:55,188 I don't think about it, I've moved on. 222 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,357 Weak. He called me weak. 223 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,026 Absolutely. 224 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,360 Let me ask you. 225 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,796 Does this look weak? 226 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,197 Seriously? 227 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,967 Wow, that is impressive. 228 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,902 Uh, watch your tie. 229 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,504 So, listen, if I could just ask you one question 230 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:14,041 about the SNC-Lavalin scandal? 231 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,076 (suspenseful espionage music playing) 232 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,753 MRS. SCARBOROUGH: Now, Lisa, 233 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:29,089 we'll be doing a class play based on a great Canadian novel. 234 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:32,059 The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz by Mordecai Richler? 235 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,426 Maybe next year, Oliver. 236 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,828 It's never Duddy. 237 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,330 No, we're doing a child-friendly version 238 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,431 of The Handmaid's Tale. 239 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,768 Ooh, I'd like to try out for Offred. 240 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,602 (sounds of awe) 241 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:46,106 Oh, so you're asking directly for something you want. 242 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,442 Well, that's not very Canadian, but I like it. 243 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,478 (electricity crackles) 244 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:59,119 I've never been happier. (giggles) 245 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,854 Polite applause, children. 246 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,290 (weakly): Yay. 247 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,325 ♪ 248 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,931 No. 249 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,265 (groans) 250 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,769 (grunts) 251 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,072 (delighted gasp) 252 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,141 Hi, Mrs. Simpson. 253 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,144 I have to get my daughter back. Can I hide in the trunk? 254 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:27,480 Okay, but don't tell anyone we're going up for beer. 255 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,449 MARGE AND DRIVERS: We all know. 256 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:30,617 (feeble groan) 257 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,652 ♪ 258 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,155 D'oh. 259 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,662 What's this blue stuff, eh? 260 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,465 Oh, um, it's called a car tail. 261 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,334 Stupid new American fad. 262 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,002 Oh, we'll get it in six months. 263 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,872 Move along. 264 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,847 SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN: Good-bye! 265 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,748 Where is she? 266 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,316 Mom. 267 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,286 -(gasps) Oh, sweetie. -(grunting) 268 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:09,422 Mmm, this is the best hug we've ever had. 269 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,291 Yes, it's wonderful. 270 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,260 Please don't make me leave. 271 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,695 Your home is with us, not them. 272 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:18,165 You must have known I wasn't happy in Springfield. 273 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,367 All I did was play the blues. 274 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,035 Are you sure you didn't play the blues 275 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,937 because slow tempos are easier? 276 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,338 Maybe a little. 277 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,307 But this country is better. 278 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,177 Their Fox News is just news about foxes. 279 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,445 Listen, you little traitor. I'm your mother. 280 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,014 And you live where I live. 281 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,849 You're coming home with me. 282 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:40,153 I'm really gonna miss this place. 283 00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,022 If it makes you feel any better, 284 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,357 Canada exploits its environment, too. 285 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,826 -Wha...? -This country does it all. 286 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,230 Tar sands, strip-mining, Mountie-mocking, 287 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,700 geese-goosing, French fry-gravying. 288 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:57,570 Okay, but I'm sure you treat all peoples equally. 289 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,640 -Except the Québécois. -And the Newfies. 290 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,742 KIDS: Stupid Newfies. 291 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,144 I'm a Newfie. 292 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,179 Whee. 293 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,750 I guess that does make me feel a little better. 294 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,019 Thank you. 295 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:16,689 ♪ Where the wind blows cold ♪ 296 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,059 ♪ And there's ice and snow ♪ 297 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:22,762 ♪ Some days go on forever ♪ 298 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,265 ♪ But I'm warm and fed ♪ 299 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,434 ♪ In a Newfoundlander's bed ♪ 300 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:31,571 ♪ I'll be an islander forever ♪ 301 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,607 ♪ I'll be an islander ♪ 302 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,476 ♪ Forever. ♪ 303 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,351 MARGE: Sir, we'd appreciate it 304 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,787 if you gave us safe passage back to America. 305 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:51,458 Sorry, but as it now says on the Statue of Liberty, 306 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,426 "No re-entry without hand stamp." 307 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,828 -Where do you get the hand stamp? -There isn't one. 308 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,303 Our top story tonight: Estranged Brew. 309 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,072 Marge Simpson and her daughter have now been 310 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:08,208 banned from the United States, just like asbestos. 311 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,110 And this just in: asbestos is back 312 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,945 into America's hospitals and schools. 313 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,114 Let me just say this asbestos will be 314 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,183 reinstalled with the greatest of care. 315 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,154 (coughs) 316 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,425 Oh, Homie, I don't know how we're gonna get back. 317 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,995 Hmm... how soon can you grow a mustache? 318 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,329 That won't work. 319 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,164 Your call. 320 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,832 Hmm, at least it looks like 321 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,002 you're getting along okay without us. 322 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,307 You know, since Lisa and I are stuck here, 323 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,575 maybe you should move up here with us. 324 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,311 Great idea, great idea. 325 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,079 What the heck? Bring Bart. 326 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,348 No way. I can't move to Canada. 327 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,083 I revere this country. 328 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:53,486 Really? The last vote you cast was for Quisp. 329 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,155 And I won. 330 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:58,958 Maybe we could find a way to sneak out. I snuck in. 331 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,860 You do what you want; I'm not leaving. 332 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,098 Okay. You win, Lisa. 333 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,700 Looks like we're gonna be here together. 334 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,469 But there's one thing I need you to do. 335 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,639 Take one last look at the country you left behind 336 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,508 and focus on anything good about it. 337 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,111 You're right. America's like a great boyfriend 338 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,647 that maybe got a little fat and lost a little hair. 339 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,884 What does that have to do with anything? Just go. 340 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,454 Good-bye, USA. 341 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,556 I feel like we did the best we could. 342 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,391 And we can still be friends. 343 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:35,062 Okay, now I'm gonna focus on the good things that you've got. 344 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:39,299 ("Battle Hymn of the Republic" playing) 345 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,868 (trumpets) 346 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:44,304 Abe Lincoln... Dumbo... 347 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,374 Aretha Franklin, Eleanor Roosevelt, 348 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,977 Seabiscuit, the computer that won on Jeopardy! 349 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,713 WATSON: What is "We miss you, Lisa"? 350 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,648 (gasps) Judy Blume. 351 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,550 Oh, I own all your books. 352 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,986 I know, I read my royalty reports. 353 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,155 Having awkward new feelings for your country-- 354 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,656 it's normal, Lisa. 355 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,259 (whispering): And you're one of my favorite readers. 356 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,894 Welcome home, Lisa. 357 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,762 Well, I haven't decided yet. 358 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:12,265 Hello, Lisa. 359 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:15,768 -Louis Armstrong. -Yeah. And I'm mighty tired 360 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:18,538 of having to keep appearing in your fantasies. 361 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,107 Get your ass back over here. 362 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,874 Yes, sir, Satchmo. 363 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,777 America ain't perfect, but it's my job to make it better. 364 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,179 See you soon. 365 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:29,249 (laughs) 366 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,418 What are you going over there for? 367 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,421 It's legal now. 368 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,956 -WATSON: What is "Pass the Dutch"? -(Seabiscuit neighs) 369 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,591 (Dumbo trumpets) 370 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,363 Psst, Mom. 371 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,132 Psst. I want to go home. 372 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,966 Oh, finally. 373 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,702 We're out of this hellhole. 374 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,271 Who made my bed? 375 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,072 Least I could do. 376 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,751 (French accent): We will get you across the river. 377 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,987 Nous allons vous faire traverser la rivière. 378 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:11,258 God, it wastes so must time saying everything twice. 379 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,297 I feel so relieved to have finally made up my mind. 380 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,332 (scraping, cracking) 381 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:22,802 Ooh. We must ditch our excess cargo. 382 00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,671 -You two. -(Marge and Lisa gasp) 383 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,974 You're abandoning us in the middle of a frozen river? 384 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:31,244 Wow, Canadians really can be jerks. 385 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,246 Yes, for every Martin Short, 386 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,348 there is no shortage of Shatners. 387 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:38,117 (evil French laughter) 388 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,621 Hope you wash up on a shore you like! 389 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,656 (evil French laughter fading) 390 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,795 (car horn honks) 391 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,130 -Homie! -Dad! 392 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,367 Guess who's here to save the day. 393 00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,339 Why did you get a truck so big? 394 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,441 It's the smallest one Detroit makes. 395 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,743 (ice rumbling) 396 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,145 How will we get in? 397 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:09,482 I know one place where there's always plenty of room. 398 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,518 ("America the Beautiful" playing) 399 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,326 I missed you, Krusty Burger where there's only 400 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,860 one thing I can eat. 401 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:23,463 I missed you, pony I had for a week. 402 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:27,033 I missed you, snarky comic book seller. 403 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,468 Thanks for nothing. 404 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,405 I missed you, nuclear ash that looks like snow. 405 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,642 I missed you, mixed martial arts megachurch. 406 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,310 I missed you, Ralph. 407 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,645 You were gone? 408 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,146 (school bell rings) 409 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,981 Now can we do Duddy Kravitz? 410 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,883 No, we're gonna watch an episode 411 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,118 -of The Beachcombers. -Oh... 412 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,728 For my show and tell, 413 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:58,431 I brought something from my trip to Canada. 414 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,066 (horse whinnies) 415 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,601 What did you do this week, sir? 416 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:04,437 Well, a Japanese tourist took pictures of me, 417 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,939 I fed my horse an apple, and I found 418 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,610 a very interesting man hiding in Medicine Hat. 419 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:13,280 -Papa. -Hey, Nelson, good news. 420 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:16,082 You've got a brother in Fort McMurray. 421 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,951 -What's his name? -How would I know? 422 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:21,321 ("O, Canada" playing) 423 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,493 Shh!