1 00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:06,773 (tires screech) 2 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,611 D'oh! 3 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,179 (grunts) 4 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,881 HOMER: Fold down that... 5 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,215 and then up that... 6 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:16,617 and this and over there 7 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,318 and you have a beautiful swan! 8 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:19,353 What the...?! 9 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,421 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:30,197 This is Anger Watkins, and you're watching basic cable's 11 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,032 angriest sports show. 12 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:34,201 Folks, this is difficult to say, 13 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,637 but, today, I'm angry! 14 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,938 I like how angry he is. 15 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,673 I want to broach a topic 16 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:43,443 that no one else has the airtime to fill to discuss. 17 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,178 Greatest of All Time. 18 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,180 LeBron, Kobe or MJ? 19 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,750 I'll tell you why you're all wrong! 20 00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:51,485 Let's open the lines. 21 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,920 The producer says I'm gonna go on. 22 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,821 Please, Sports Jesus, 23 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,390 guide my blather. 24 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,025 Welcome to Rage Nation. 25 00:00:58,091 --> 00:00:59,459 What the hell is your problem? 26 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:02,062 Uh, first‐time listener, 27 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,463 long‐time caller. 28 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:04,965 So, I, uh... 29 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:06,199 Give me a take! 30 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,501 Anger needs a take. 31 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,469 Who is number one? 32 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:10,938 Uh, John Stockton! 33 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,339 John Stockton?! 34 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,541 We're trying to have our daily conversation 35 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:18,111 in which we rank and re‐rank three demigods, 36 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:21,915 and you bring John "Never Won a Title" Stockton into the mix?! 37 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:23,951 Shame! For shame! 38 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,652 Die! Soon! 39 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,687 Goodbye. 40 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,256 (toilet flushing sound effect) 41 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,225 Homer, you got flushed. 42 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,061 A man who don't know sports, 43 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,929 um, he ain't much of a man. 44 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,097 You're nothing to me now. 45 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:40,000 Just a husband and father. 46 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,034 HOMER: Stupid Anger Watkins 47 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,203 flushing me with an audio effect. 48 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,206 Why not eat your feelings with a cheer‐up kebab? 49 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,408 Let's see. Pizza slice, 50 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:50,611 summer sausage... 51 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,448 Here you go. 52 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:57,117 It was only a dumb call‐in show. 53 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,652 Easy for you to say. 54 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,054 If that jerk didn't like your sports notions, 55 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,756 listen to someone else. 56 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,192 The Internet's full of homemade sports shows. 57 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:06,960 Anyone could put one on, 58 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,695 ‐I mean, even... ‐Don't say "you." 59 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:09,696 Don't say "you." 60 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:10,797 Even you. 61 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,132 Damn it. 62 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,767 Oh, yes. Of course! 63 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,069 An Internet sports talk show! 64 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,537 But where could I find a host 65 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,339 who thinks all my opinions are great? 66 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,175 (gasps) Me. 67 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,612 Marge, prepare a congratulations kebab. 68 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,185 (clinking) 69 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,022 (groans) 70 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,724 These are hard as rocks. 71 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,393 (groans) Food fight! 72 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,727 (descending whistle) 73 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,162 (mimics gunfire) 74 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,764 (mimics automatic gunfire) 75 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,233 Uh, this calls for massive retaliation. 76 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,568 Use your quadratic equations, men. 77 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,904 (Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" playing) 78 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,415 (groans) 79 00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,850 Oh, my God. I'm having a flashback. 80 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,019 (opening chords from "The End" by the Doors plays) 81 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,255 Good Lord, I'm reliving the Tot Offensive. 82 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,557 Skinner... (choking) 83 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,292 I'll Heimlich you, sir. (grunts) 84 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,695 Just be still so I can embrace you from behind. 85 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,396 (grunting) 86 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,699 Get... off... me. 87 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,636 Shh, you're safe now. 88 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,174 ‐(squeaking) ‐(Willie humming) 89 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,511 Now, which of you little hoodlums tossed the first tot? 90 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:32,979 ‐The nerd did it. ‐Uh, could be Lisa. ‐Principal Skinner, 91 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,815 it wasn't me. It was physics. 92 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,550 Is this true, Fizix? 93 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,553 I would've thought better of a Turkemenistani exchange student. 94 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,822 Ah! I had nothing to do with it. 95 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:45,258 I came to this country to escape food‐based violence. 96 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,028 Lisa, one week's detention. 97 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,029 (gasps) 98 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,565 (theme music playing) 99 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,312 (humming upbeat tune) 100 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,852 Welcome to Walkoff Homer! 101 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,120 This is Homer Simpson, 102 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,122 the rudest dude on the InnerTube. 103 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,924 They say Muhammad Ali was the greatest of all time, 104 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:20,927 but he never fought Cassius Clay. 105 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,696 What was he afraid of? 106 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,498 Boom! Hot take. 107 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,133 And how come, in basketball, 108 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,135 they use the basket all the time 109 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:31,505 but you could literally play football without any feet? 110 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:32,839 This show sucks. 111 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,209 I can't believe he's wasting Flanders' Wi‐Fi on this. 112 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,811 Here's a few things that bug me. 113 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,113 How can they call traveling on a home team? 114 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,015 Why is soccer so stupid? 115 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,151 How can they play hockey in a garden? 116 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,386 Why can't golfers carry their own clubs? 117 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,954 Lazy jerks. 118 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,257 (flatulence sounds) 119 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,559 "Moose Poo"?! 120 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,361 Why, you hilarious... 121 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,863 (laughs) 122 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,903 (choking) 123 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:03,904 (coughing) 124 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,872 Eat Sunset Rose! 125 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,674 (groans) Semi‐gloss. 126 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,776 (laughing) 127 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:10,777 (coughing) 128 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,946 (muffled groan) 129 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,051 (laughs) 130 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,122 (spits) Seed bell? 131 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,891 Like that's gonna stop me. 132 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,762 HOMER: Huh? 133 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,197 Oh, so cute! 134 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,199 Look at... (screaming) 135 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,301 Oh, my face! My face! 136 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,670 (laughing) 137 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:39,973 (laughter) 138 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,310 ♪ Let's give 'em something to talk about ♪ 139 00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,712 ♪ Something to talk about ♪ 140 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,515 ♪ Let's give 'em something to talk about. ♪ 141 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,617 (laughter) 142 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,953 What the hell's so funny? 143 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,188 (laughter) 144 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,992 (crying) 145 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,994 (giggling) 146 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,229 We must come together... 147 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,997 ‐(laughter) ‐to lower our carbon... 148 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,366 ‐Stupid boy. ‐Dumb dad. 149 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,767 First, he ruins my life. 150 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:08,969 ‐Then he ruins my livestream. ‐Me ruining his show was 151 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,670 ‐the only good part of his show. ‐I'm gonna change the NHL 152 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,672 ‐with my idea ‐Fat goalie was his only good take. 153 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,808 ‐for morbidly obese goalies. ‐Should've led with it. 154 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:15,876 (whirring) 155 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,044 Hello. #FirstImpression. 156 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,479 Oh, my God, a hipster! 157 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,881 Marge, bring him a microbrew! 158 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,482 ‐Quick! ‐I'm on it! 159 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,651 (panting) 160 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,287 Ah... 161 00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:30,223 The alluvial hops really bring out the riparian bitterness. 162 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,591 He likes it. 163 00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,460 ‐I think. ‐I did like it. 164 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,228 My name's Warburton Parker. 165 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,564 I'm a stranger to you. Why should you listen to me? 166 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:38,965 ‐You don't know my backstory. ‐MARGE: Mm‐hmm. 167 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,934 Well, here it is‐‐ colon‐‐ 168 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,970 as a child, my only friend was my computer. 169 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,205 I was teased every day. 170 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,640 Then I became a pro snowboarder, 171 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,708 married a supermodel, went into tech, 172 00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,443 made a fortune, bought the factories 173 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,846 where the kids who teased me's parents worked 174 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,314 and shut the factories down. 175 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,715 Do you have a backstory? 176 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,951 Once, when I was six, I ate a radio. 177 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,419 (chuckles) I like you, 178 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:00,987 but that won't get in the way. 179 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,355 Let me cut to the chase. 180 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,990 I make money from viral videos. 181 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,493 And you two have gone viral. 182 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,829 "Raccoon in a revolving door" viral. 183 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:13,266 (excited grunting) 184 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,869 You're right to dance in such a fashion. 185 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,470 Because I'll show you how to make videos 186 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,572 ‐that will make you rich. ‐(whoops) 187 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:20,874 And me richer. 188 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,509 And me richest. 189 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,010 What are you doing here? 190 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,579 (chuckles) I get an alert whenever anyone's getting rich. 191 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:35,121 Wow. 5.7 million views. 192 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,123 Wow! Good, not great. 193 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,925 That's the population of Colorado. 194 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,460 Is that the Broncos one? 195 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,262 ‐It is. ‐Aw. 196 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:45,332 The question is, how much money have you made? 197 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,334 Let's see. Uh, third quarter take... 198 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,102 ‐Factor in overhead. ‐Of course. 199 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,503 ‐Overhead. ‐Projections. 200 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,638 Apples to apples. 201 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,873 Figure net profit. 202 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,775 Got it. Nothing. 203 00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,344 The question was rhetorical, you idiots. 204 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,045 (chuckles) Sorry about the "idiots" thing. 205 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:02,949 But what you need to do is monetize. 206 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:06,219 ‐Monetize! Monetize! ‐Monetize! Monetize! 207 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,054 Monorail. Monorail. 208 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,956 Wait, what are we talking about? 209 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,592 ‐♪ ♪ ‐Perhaps you are familiar 210 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,794 with the greatest viral video of all time, 211 00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:17,364 "Monkey smells finger and falls out of tree." 212 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,966 Hmm. No, I've never seen... 213 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,102 (laughing) 214 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,104 (laughing): Oh, my... Oh... 215 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,405 Oh, that monkey! 216 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,875 (laughing) 217 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,677 (sighs) 218 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,346 (laughing) 219 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,648 And the‐the monkey! 220 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,984 (laughing) 221 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,652 He smelled his finger. 222 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,955 (laughing) 223 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,490 Then boom! 224 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,826 (laughing) 225 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,995 (sighs) Smell. 226 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,631 That monkey and that monkey's estate 227 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,700 made zero dollars. 228 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,702 Even less in monkey dollars. 229 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,070 If he had signed with me, 230 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,505 I mean, just hypothetically, 231 00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,340 there would be‐‐ oh, I don't know‐‐ 232 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:01,908 Monkey Finger Sniff T‐shirts, 233 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,910 Monkey Finger Sniff Finger Wipes, 234 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,678 Monkey Finger Sniff sponsorships 235 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,448 and a spot on Weekend Update on SNL. 236 00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,750 Host, Rami Malek or better. 237 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,452 Musical guest, Pitbull. 238 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,922 What this monkey didn't sniff was opportunity. 239 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,058 In the next five minutes, you'll get more views 240 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,893 than the entire rebooted Murphy Brown. 241 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,494 Ugh, such high hopes. 242 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,896 Not the same without Eldin. 243 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,932 Now, this fight, you're gonna get kickback from... 244 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,134 ‐Duff Beer? ‐Look at your shirt. 245 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,936 Oh! 246 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,774 (quietly): Label to camera. 247 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,042 Hey, label to camera. 248 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,145 (groaning) 249 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,283 They're gonna love this publicity. 250 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:46,019 You guys just earned your first quarter. 251 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,353 First quarter revenue? 252 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,123 No. First quarter, like the coin. 253 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,791 Halt and Catch Fire, boy! 254 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,126 Silicon Valley! 255 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,794 How the Web Was Won. 256 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,263 I'll give you another quarter to shut up. 257 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,299 Monetize. 258 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:02,001 ‐♪ ♪ ‐(clock ticking) 259 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,904 LISA: Look at us, 260 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,106 the bully, 261 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,107 the princess, 262 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,341 more bullies, 263 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,576 the Ralph 264 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:12,045 and me, the smart kid no one gets. 265 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,047 Yet, maybe, by the end of the day, 266 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,616 I'll realize this is just what I needed. 267 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,318 This is what I needed to break through the... 268 00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,719 Lisa, you don't belong here. 269 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,021 Oh, thank God. So long, delinquents! 270 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,191 Your detention is being held in our new facility, the R. O. C. C. 271 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:29,162 Welcome to the Remote On‐site Correctional Center. 272 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,698 How can something be both remote and on‐site? 273 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,366 All right, wisenheimer. 274 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,902 You just earned yourself a day in the hole. 275 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,271 The Holistic Obstinance Lessening Environment. 276 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,073 ‐(door squeaks open) ‐(grunt) 277 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,142 Uh‐oh. (whimpering) 278 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,711 There's nothing in here but old Goosebumps books. 279 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,146 Fine. Read those. 280 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:49,749 They aren't scary. They aren't scary! 281 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,851 What happened to regular detention? 282 00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,219 Well, because we could no longer afford 283 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,188 any after‐school activity, 284 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,023 the school district has outsourced detention. 285 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,425 Welcome to Misbehavior Solutions, 286 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,694 a Torture 500 company. 287 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:04,130 You privatized detention? 288 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,332 Lisa, you have to understand. 289 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,001 Anyone who's done anything remotely poor 290 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,769 is in private prison. 291 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,871 Oh, did I say "poor"? I meant wrong. 292 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,173 No more questions. 293 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,475 So, how's the monetizing going? 294 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,010 Pick a hand. 295 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,278 Pick again. 296 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,779 Not the same hand. 297 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,314 I'm not a magician. It's in the other hand. 298 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,982 Please pick the other hand. 299 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,450 All right, I'm just gonna show you the check. 300 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,919 Oh, my God! 301 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,354 $5,000! 302 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,790 This will come in handy when I buy a boat! 303 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:36,029 Now, for the really big money, I sold the location rights 304 00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,830 ‐to your next fight. ‐Huh? 305 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,667 No, no, no. This needs to be a discussion. 306 00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,235 It's here in this fried chicken restaurant. 307 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,003 End of discussion. 308 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,939 You see, this place has an image problem. 309 00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,807 They've had nine salmonella deaths 310 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,376 and one fried pinky in the past week. 311 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,145 Mmm... 312 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,214 Salmon‐ella. 313 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,716 So they want you two‐‐ you and you‐‐ 314 00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,418 to change the conversation. 315 00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,987 If there's a regional, casual dining chain 316 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,790 that needs my help, I'm there! 317 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:06,626 My heroes. 318 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,695 Okay, kind of, you know, fake nibble. 319 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,663 ‐Pretend you're enjoying the thighs. ‐I am. 320 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,998 Uh, they're made of wax. 321 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,600 Whatever. I'm on my fourth bucket. 322 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,768 Sad. Okay, just action. 323 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,706 Why, you little... 324 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,374 (whimpers, yells) 325 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,543 And escalate and escalate. 326 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,478 Views, views, views. 327 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,714 ‐(Bart grunts, Homer yells) ‐Yes! 328 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,016 Feel the burn. Literally sit in it. 329 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,218 Would you like some onion rings? 330 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:35,355 I don't see why not. 331 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,157 ‐(yells) ‐Ah. Beautiful. 332 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,727 Look at those view numbers fly. 333 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,128 I‐I shouldn't say this. 334 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,596 No, I‐I'm gonna say it. 335 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,064 Okay, I say it a lot. 336 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:49,402 You two are more beloved than Marathon‐Diarrhea Guy. 337 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,138 ‐I love that guy. ‐Best guy. 338 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,674 We have so many sick sponsored fights lined up. 339 00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,876 We're gonna make Marathon‐Diarrhea Guy look 340 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,878 like Dog on Washing Machine. 341 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,115 ‐I love that dog! ‐Best dog. 342 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,684 (both laugh) 343 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,919 Violence is the best. 344 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,522 Dad, you're holding my hand. 345 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:10,923 Is that weird? 346 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,325 I've seen it in books. 347 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,927 Say, boy, can I buy you a...? 348 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:18,064 Nah, I'm good, but thanks. 349 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,766 Give me a Duff, Moe. 350 00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,968 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Your money's no good here. 351 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,370 You're a celebrity now, Mr. YouTube. 352 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,306 The biggest one this bar has seen 353 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,875 since the snake that ate three pool balls. 354 00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,110 Got a picture of that. See it? 355 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:32,712 Anything I can do for you. 356 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,347 Anything. You just name it. 357 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,649 Well, little more than I thought you'd ask for, 358 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,551 but, uh, no, I respect the greed. 359 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,520 Now I'm going back to my people. 360 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,255 Hey, how you doing? 361 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,028 (gasps) It's that kid from YouTube! 362 00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:52,965 (chuckles) You, my friend, are getting an escort. 363 00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:56,669 (imitating siren): Nah‐nah, nah‐nah, nah‐nah. 364 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,204 Aw, isn't that cute? 365 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:01,274 Let's give the biggest one a gun and take the week off. 366 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:06,179 Milhouse, why are you in detention? 367 00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:08,748 For using the metric side of my ruler. 368 00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,150 That seems pretty arbitrary. 369 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,319 Uh, why am I here? 370 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:16,823 All I did was wear swim trunks in the shower. (mutters) 371 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:18,424 (gasps) They're packing detention 372 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,026 with minor infractors. 373 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,394 But why? 374 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,629 Why do corporations do anything? 375 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,231 To help society. 376 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,433 We need you to make kiddie license plates. 377 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,169 I need 100 Caitlyns, 100 Kaitlyns 378 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,306 and a thousand Kate... Lynns. 379 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,041 Oh, my mom's picking me up. 380 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,709 She'll be frantic! 381 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,978 Oh, they said I could pick him up at midnight. 382 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,012 Mm! 383 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,014 You want something stamped? 384 00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,516 How about this? 385 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,651 Strike! Strike! Strike! 386 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,987 Strike! Strike! Strike! 387 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,490 Strike! Strike! Strike! 388 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,024 How do you know about unions? 389 00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:54,761 'Cause our history books end in the 1930s. 390 00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:58,030 Thanks, guys. 391 00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,565 Hey, Dad! 392 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,301 Hey, son! I kind of missed you. 393 00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,137 I kind of missed you, too. 394 00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:05,838 Aw. 395 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,340 COMIC BOOK GUY: Okay, they're hugging. 396 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,342 Excuse me, but I thought the hate was real. 397 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,110 I have not been so angry 398 00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:13,279 since I saw every Star Wars since the second. 399 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,681 They are no longer my heroes! 400 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:19,552 Kumiko, we are changing the Comic‐Con costumes. 401 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,587 We're going back to our old costumes‐‐ 402 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,356 Sailor Moon and the Moon. 403 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,425 ♪ ♪ 404 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,931 ALL: Hey there, Chalmers. Hey there, Skinner. 405 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:35,034 We will be here until dinner! 406 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,037 These Norma Rae‐sinets refuse to back down. 407 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,940 You can cut detention with a knife. 408 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,008 (chuckles) 409 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,076 In other news, the Pope has died. 410 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,112 My corporation has a deal with this school 411 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:49,949 to provide free... kishly happy workers. 412 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,151 You better fix this and fast. 413 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,686 I think I have an answer. 414 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,823 I know people who will do anything for money 415 00:15:56,889 --> 00:16:00,426 as long as it doesn't involve kids‐‐ 416 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:04,931 the teachers. (chuckles) 417 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,933 ♪ Well, I been workin' in a coal mine ♪ 418 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,201 ♪ Goin' down, down, down ♪ 419 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:09,569 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine ♪ 420 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,771 ♪ Whew, about to slip down ♪ 421 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,039 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine ♪ 422 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:15,174 ♪ Goin' down, down, down ♪ 423 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:16,876 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine, whew... ♪ 424 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,144 Take it from the Moon. 425 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,646 Bart and Homer have cratered. 426 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,149 I hate them and I‐‐ uh‐oh. 427 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,218 So, because people think you like each other, 428 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,652 you're has‐beens. 429 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,020 Yesterday's views. 430 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,589 Deader than MySpace. 431 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,024 15 minutes of lame. 432 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:35,361 Why are you still here around me? 433 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,763 Please help us. It hurts so much to know 434 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,233 that no one is clicking me or liking me. 435 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,001 They might have no opinion. 436 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,603 I can't live with that! 437 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,839 May I make an original and groundbreaking observation 438 00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,207 that no one has ever said before? 439 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:50,243 There is one thing that show business loves. 440 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,111 ‐Betty White? ‐A comeback. 441 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,613 We are going to put you out in front 442 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,047 of some of the greatest influencers 443 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,183 and tastemakers alive. 444 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,352 We will remake Bart and Homer Brand. 445 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:02,455 What do you say to BHB2? 446 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,023 Is it a drug? Lay it on me. 447 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,692 It stands for "Bart Homer Brand 2," you moron. 448 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,661 Of course it is. 449 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,429 Is it a pill? 450 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:12,198 Or the other end? 451 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,833 ♪ ♪ 452 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,702 This is the largest gathering of social media influencers 453 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:17,970 in the western hemisphere. 454 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,138 There's Detonator, 455 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,207 the Internet's leading walkthrough gamer. 456 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:22,808 What's your side quest, Demon? 457 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,677 ‐Uh, well, I... ‐Terminate dialogue tree. 458 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,045 Return to main quest. 459 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,414 Hmm. 460 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,882 Hey, there's Leslie Sky. 461 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,652 She does makeup tutorials with veiled white nationalism. 462 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,922 For the foundation, we can either go with brown, 463 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,189 or skin color. 464 00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:39,559 Oh, my God, it's Jurgen, 465 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,494 Southern Norway's leading unboxer. 466 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,630 First we take the burger box from the bag, yeah. 467 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:48,534 Carefully open the box so it can be reclasped. 468 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,535 Mm‐hmm. 469 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:51,103 Robust hinging. 470 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,144 I am tired now. 471 00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,779 And winter comes. 472 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,249 ♪ ♪ 473 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:06,085 And now, to tell you what you're gonna do. 474 00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:09,088 Mortal Kombat: Live Online. 475 00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,990 Doesn't "mortal" mean "dead"? 476 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:14,126 Um, it can, but it's just a figure of speech. 477 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,095 So we don't kill each other? 478 00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,264 Oh, if you did, that would be great. 479 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,332 But let's play it by ear. 480 00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:20,433 Okay, guys, 481 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:21,634 when you're in combat, 482 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,169 definitely killing each other, 483 00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:25,471 it's important to feature your sponsored weapons. 484 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,974 Bart, you're promoting Netflix. 485 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,077 Got it? And Trident gum. 486 00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:33,913 Homer, you're repping Axe Body Spray 487 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,682 and Trident Spearmint gum. 488 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,950 Do you get it, Homer? 489 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,685 The product things match the words. 490 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,587 I don't know, this seems kind of lame. 491 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,788 You know what's not lame? 492 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,957 An audience of 200 livestreams 493 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:46,492 while you kill your own father. 494 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,361 Or whatever. Feel it out. 495 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:51,097 I don't know, I'm gonna need some more inspiration. 496 00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:54,967 (gasps) Oh, my God, is it really you? 497 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,135 (sniffing) 498 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:57,136 (shrieks) 499 00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,572 (gasps) It is. 500 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,575 ANNOUNCER (over speakers): Ladies and gentlemen, 501 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,811 YouTubers, Instagrammers, 502 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,948 and homeless former Viners, 503 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:12,084 you loved them in their smackdown at Panda Express. 504 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,453 Then they hugged and you were like, "What?" 505 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,123 Homer and Bart Simpson! 506 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,425 Do I smell fear? 507 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,060 I'm not afraid of you. 508 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:25,131 You're smelling the refreshing scent of Axe Body Spray. 509 00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:26,999 Dark Temptation. 510 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:30,002 ♪ ♪ 511 00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,205 (shrieks) 512 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:40,246 I don't know, Dad. This just doesn't feel right. 513 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,981 I don't want to fight you. 514 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,783 Me, neither, son. 515 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,918 (audience booing) 516 00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:51,057 Who'd have thought that two guys from such different worlds 517 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,825 could connect like us? 518 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,494 (audience groaning) 519 00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,797 Quit using your words! 520 00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,865 ♪ ♪ 521 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,210 (train horn blaring) 522 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:20,519 (humming upbeat melody) 523 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:21,954 (imitates drumroll) 524 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,489 Hello. I'm Homer Simpson. 525 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,226 And this is episode two of Walkoff Homer. 526 00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,661 Today's question: 527 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,831 are sports talk shows a complete and utter waste of time? 528 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,499 We will get to the bottom of this 529 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,468 within the next five hours. 530 00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,536 Five hours?! 531 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,638 I can't get my point across in five hours. 532 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,006 My whole career depends on me 533 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,308 never quite getting to the finish. 534 00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:43,909 Because I know... 535 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,852 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 536 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,920 (epic music playing) 537 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,535 (Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" playing) 538 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,756 Shh!