1 00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:06,306 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:11,378 Oh, boy, Lenny is gonna be so surprised. 3 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,347 And I got the perfect card. 4 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:14,448 CARL: Uh‐huh! 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,316 "Over the hill than under it." Yeah. 6 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,922 Having chipped in, you may now sign. 7 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,624 Nice work. 8 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,059 No "best wishes," I like the restraint. 9 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:29,730 Yeah, I thought about "regards," but Lenny knows how I feel. 10 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:32,232 (pens squeaking) 11 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,768 Okay, everybody, be quiet. 12 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:37,905 Lenny's gonna be here any minute. Shh. 13 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,540 (chuckles excitedly) 14 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,277 ALL: Sur... prise. 15 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:46,113 ‐(all groaning) ‐I thought this was my blood transfusion room, 16 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,248 but, uh, there's not a baby in sight. 17 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,784 It's a surprise party for Lenny, sir. 18 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,987 Everybody chipped in five bucks for a card and a cake 19 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,824 and a show by close‐up magician Abraca‐Debra. 20 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,961 ‐(all gasping) ‐What? Damn! 21 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:03,630 Well, in that case, I suppose I should sign, too. 22 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:09,670 "With regards, C. Montgomery Burns." 23 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,238 Mm. Hmm. 24 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,973 (humming) 25 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,509 Ah, Lenny, happy birthday. 26 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,177 (all groan) 27 00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,347 (groans angrily) 28 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,792 This is the greatest birthday ever! 29 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,528 And best of all, Mr. Burns signed my card. 30 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,396 To everyone who chipped in. 31 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:39,032 (echoing): Chipped in. Chipped in. 32 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,035 (distorting): Chipped in. 33 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,706 What kind of person signs a birthday card 34 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,140 and doesn't chip in? 35 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:49,176 You sign the card, you got to chip in. 36 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:52,746 ‐It's the code of the card. ‐How big did he sign? 37 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,581 Eddie Bauer big. 38 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,516 (gasps) 39 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:59,252 Stupid unpaid signature. 40 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:00,854 This is the worst thing that ever happened 41 00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,689 at a nuclear power plant. 42 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,725 Homie, just let it go. 43 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,394 Don't let a signature drive you crazy. 44 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,729 You're right, honey. 45 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,230 I'll let it go. 46 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,866 I don't know what I'd do without you. 47 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,135 ‐(screams) ‐(Homer gasps) 48 00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,671 BURNS: Happy birthday, Lenny. 49 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,539 No. No! 50 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,208 No! 51 00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:22,376 (gasping) 52 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:23,844 Homie, what is it? 53 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,513 I had the most horrible nightmare 54 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,916 where I listened to your advice. 55 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,718 HOMER: Okay, okay. 56 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,053 Okay, Homer, you can do this. 57 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,388 You can make things right. 58 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,656 (grunting) 59 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,593 (imitates guitar) 60 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,662 (gobbling) 61 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,265 Mr. Burns, everyone who signed 62 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,534 that birthday card chipped in except for you. 63 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,603 You owe five dollars. 64 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,872 How dare you... 65 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:54,474 give that the slightest worry. 66 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,209 Hope you didn't lose any sleep 67 00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,878 over this little misunderstanding. 68 00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,180 Here, have a cricket on a thread for good luck. 69 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,581 (chirps) 70 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:05,452 You monster... 71 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,953 taking advantage of an old man. 72 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,221 What are you talking about? 73 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,790 Mr. Burns is heavily medicated 74 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,692 on a round‐the‐clock regimen of skin thickeners. 75 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,762 (sighs) 76 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,397 The side effect of that medication 77 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,399 is bouts of uncontrollable decency. 78 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,268 And you exploited that. 79 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,737 I'm demoting you to the worst job in this place: 80 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,606 supervising the nuclear plant interns. 81 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,208 ♪ ♪ 82 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,376 (groans nervously) 83 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,313 (chirps) 84 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,815 (bird caws) 85 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,084 Listen up, millenniums. I'm Homer Simpson, 86 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,752 your new supervisor. 87 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,254 So stop Snapchatting, Fortnite‐ing 88 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:44,124 and swiping right on your Uber Venmos. 89 00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:47,294 We're actually replicating plant start‐up sequences 90 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,297 to simulate the effects of high‐demand energy draws. 91 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,099 Contamination versus irradiation‐‐ 92 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,333 your thoughts? 93 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,768 Address rate of reaction. 94 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,937 What variables can we assume? 95 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,339 Uh... 96 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:03,310 Der... Uh... Der‐der... 97 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:04,878 Der... 98 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:08,148 This guy is denser than osmium‐188. 99 00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:09,683 (interns laugh) 100 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,322 Are my ears hearing this? 101 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:17,657 Are you seriously busting the clangers 102 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,459 of Homer J. Simpsons? 103 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,863 This man is a god and his clangers are unbustable. 104 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,965 You're looking at the Michael Jordan 105 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,600 of Sector 7G. 106 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,803 And you humps aren't worthy to swill his backwash. 107 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,772 You're sticking up for me? 108 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,006 Who are you? 109 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,041 Mike Wegman, nuclear intern. 110 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,843 And your number one fan. 111 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,945 Yeah, well, your hero has a Pop‐Tart 112 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,614 in his cell phone holster. 113 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,682 ‐(laughter) ‐(groans) 114 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,254 Are you kidding? 115 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,588 (groans angrily) 116 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:51,992 No one disrespects Homer Simpsons. 117 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:55,595 Not you, Ricky, with your standing desk. 118 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,031 It's not a workout; it's been disproven. 119 00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,599 And not you, Gretchen, 120 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,835 drinking coffee creamer straight from the bottle. 121 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,171 You exude amaretto, you freak. 122 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:07,007 And, Benjamin, no one ever got trampled 123 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,975 at a Michael Bublé concert. 124 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:12,145 Drop the friggin' lawsuit, you're clogging up the system. 125 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,181 This man is a dynamo. 126 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:17,250 So you shaved coconuts give him your full respect. 127 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,886 All right, all right. Sorry, Mr. Simpson. 128 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,755 Looking forward to learning from you, Mr. Simpson. 129 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,858 People at work usually yell at me, not for me. 130 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,426 How do you know who I am? 131 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,429 (laughs) So modest. What a dynamo. 132 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,264 ‐Because of this. ‐Hmm? 133 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,899 Whenever there's trouble, 134 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,402 you are at the heart of the action. 135 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:38,271 Number six is why all those horses went bald. 136 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,274 Yeah. Well, I‐I‐I've been looking up to you for so long 137 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,877 from the cheap seats, and now we're finally face‐to‐face, 138 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,246 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I got to ask, 139 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,949 w‐will you be my coach? My sensei? 140 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,918 Homer J. Simpsons, will you be my mentor? 141 00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:52,919 (gasps) 142 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,089 ♪ ♪ 143 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,591 If you accept, let me know 144 00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,593 by taking this half a PowerBar. 145 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:02,662 I rolled up the wrapper really good so there's no pocket lint. 146 00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:06,366 Mike Wegmans, I will be your mentor. 147 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,435 (sighs) 148 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,146 Okay, which of these ties is better 149 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,582 for my first day as a mentor? 150 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:25,085 Purple stripes or this one? 151 00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,621 (sniffs) Are you wearing my perfume? 152 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,257 I like it on you, he'll like it on me. 153 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,225 Dad, it's not often that you‐‐ 154 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,493 how do I put this?‐‐ 155 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,162 care so much about your job? 156 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,432 Well, now that I'm a mentor, everything's changed. 157 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,768 For the first time, another human being 158 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,404 is dependent on me to guide them through life. 159 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,773 (Bart and Lisa groaning) 160 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,142 This guy I'm menting is so cool. 161 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,344 He listens with his mouth open. 162 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,881 He's been blocked by so many celebrities on Twitter. 163 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,816 And he thinks I'm the most valuable worker 164 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,485 at the entire nuclear plant. 165 00:06:58,551 --> 00:06:59,886 Oh, I get it. 166 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,455 He's super dumb. (laughs) 167 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,291 Mock all you want. 168 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,394 I finally have someone at work who admires me. 169 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,964 (all laughing) 170 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,465 He's fat. 171 00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,301 Homer, your pants. 172 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,802 They'll come around again. 173 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,737 They always do. 174 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,474 There's my thoroughbred. 175 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,476 I‐I got your coffee just the way you like it. 176 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,545 No coffee, just doughnut holes. 177 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,050 Oh, my God, are you busting my bricks? 178 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,351 I‐Is this real? 179 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,986 Sector 7G. 180 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,889 7G, where Olympus fears to tread. 181 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,557 He sure does. 182 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,894 Okay, you are a category five hurricane of knowledge, 183 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,697 and I'm like that old idiot who won't leave his beach house. 184 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:46,499 Please, drown my in my attic with what you know. 185 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,068 I thought you might say that. 186 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,705 So I've prepared inspirational posters. 187 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,173 I feel like Amar'e Stoudemire 188 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,542 when he first set foot in Jerusalem. 189 00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:58,044 (chuckling) 190 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,212 W‐What else you got? 191 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,814 ‐Uh, let's see... ‐Uh‐huh. 192 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,382 ‐Don't forget about the, uh... ‐Y‐Y‐Y‐Y‐Y‐Yeah. 193 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:03,850 ‐Oh, uh, and, of course, ‐Gold. 194 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,352 ‐you got to, you just got to. ‐Gold. Okay. 195 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:06,619 ‐Because if you don't... ‐Soakin' it in. Gold. 196 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,355 ‐Well, oh. ‐Soakin' it in. 197 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,856 ‐Well, they don't have that anymore. ‐I can remember this. 198 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,358 ‐And you see these? ‐Yeah. 199 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,626 ‐I'm gonna tell you that later. ‐Y‐Y‐Y‐Y‐Y‐Yeah. 200 00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:15,228 I can't believe this. 201 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,697 I‐I'm only 35 and I am sitting at the feet 202 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,632 of the atomic Baba Booey. 203 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,202 Mm. You're 35? 204 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,204 Then why do you have a job of a 20‐year‐old 205 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,872 and talk like a ten‐year‐old? 206 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:26,906 Here's how it is. 207 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,375 So, my buddy 'Nesto and me 208 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:29,642 were cleaning gutters for cash, 209 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:32,078 when that idiot 'Nesto falls off 210 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,881 and lands on a doghouse. Stupid 'Nesto. 211 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,550 Then my parents are on my case to get a real career, 212 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,386 something "closer to the ground." 213 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,421 So I thought, "Why not follow my hero 214 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,890 "into man's greatest calling? 215 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,392 Nuclear whatever." 216 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,893 So I went down to the plant, 217 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,561 told them I was part Native American‐‐ 218 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,597 I could be, I always liked those guys‐‐ 219 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,732 and boom! I'm an intern. 220 00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:55,468 Three short years later, got myself a mentor. 221 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,405 Wow. My posters really worked. 222 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,507 But you don't need me telling you how great you are, 223 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,509 y‐you get enough of that at home. 224 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,310 (distorted laughter) 225 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,915 BURNS: Happy birthday, Lenny. 226 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,350 Say, Mike, 227 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,386 why don't you come over to my house for dinner? 228 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,588 I've got some people I'd like to introduce 229 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,557 to the way you act around me. 230 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,426 Okay. I‐I could do that. 231 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,094 I could make that happen. 232 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,595 Huh. I got this. 233 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:24,631 Hey, Lenny, you duck‐faced psycho, 234 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,800 guess who's going to Homer Simpson's house 235 00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,568 for a meal? Me. 236 00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,370 CARL: Uh, I'm Carl. 237 00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,573 I wish you would give me more of a heads‐up 238 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,708 before inviting a mentee for dinner. 239 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,410 I guess we'll have enough 240 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,980 if I double the chip layer on the casserole. 241 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:44,317 Don't worry, you're gonna love this kid. 242 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,920 Kid? He looks 40‐plus. 243 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,789 Oh, Homer, she is a beaut. 244 00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:52,125 Now I know why you're always napping at work. 245 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,860 Mr. Plow, indeed. 246 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,829 Hello. I'm Marge. 247 00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,664 Mike Wegman. This is Maureen. 248 00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:00,333 And this is Patrick Ewing Wegman. 249 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,103 It's a girl. You can't name her Patrick. 250 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,672 2.4 blocks per game, lifetime. 251 00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:07,474 She's Patrick. 252 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,008 Look at this spread. 253 00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:11,277 I‐I was expecting, like, a‐a party sub, 254 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,080 but hot carrots? Who thinks of that? 255 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,583 Slow it, you'll burn your mouth again. 256 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,251 All right, all right, I'm gonna blow on 'em. 257 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,586 (blowing) 258 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,387 Thank you for having us. 259 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,190 Mike admires your husband so much. 260 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,192 Do you hear that? "So much"! 261 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,228 They don't admire me any much. 262 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,863 (chuckles) 263 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:31,764 You better hold on to this guy, Marge, 264 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,167 'cause if he were single, he'd be cleaning up. 265 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,870 I mean cleaning up, knee‐deep. 266 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,071 (chuckles): Don't worry, honey. 267 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,206 You're the only woman for me. 268 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,574 I wasn't worried. 269 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:45,111 So, Mrs. Wegman, how did you two meet? 270 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,880 Oh, well, you're gonna love this story. 271 00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,615 It's so romantic. Tell her, honey. 272 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:49,816 Go ahead, tell her. 273 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,551 He was a waiter at my wedding. 274 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,920 She was so beautiful, like one of those girls 275 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,156 you see leaving Vinny's bedroom on Entourage 276 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,757 that don't say nothin'. 277 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,159 (Mike laughs) 278 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,460 (slurps) 279 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,364 So, Mike, you seem like a sharp tack. 280 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,432 What exactly is my dad teaching you? 281 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,701 How to eat doughnuts while napping? 282 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,270 (snorts, laughs) 283 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,039 Did this little hump just say what I thought I heard? 284 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,908 It's okay, Mike. I don't sweat it. 285 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,277 Yeah, Mike, the only thing Homer sweats is gravy. 286 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,778 ‐(laughs) ‐(groans angrily) 287 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:23,082 No one disrespects Homer Simpsons! 288 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:26,085 Especially not an ugly little punk like you. 289 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:27,921 That's right, I said "ugly." 290 00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:29,923 Your head looks like a rejected Muppet. 291 00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:32,425 Two golf balls glued to a can of oats. 292 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,929 Between that Tommy Lasorda gut and those toothpick legs, 293 00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:39,799 you are not a kid‐‐ you are a walkin' potato clock. 294 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:44,804 Ha‐ha‐ha! Ugly! Ha! 295 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,606 (laughing uncontrollably) 296 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:49,609 Muppet... (continues laughing) 297 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:53,446 Ah! Toothpick legs! 298 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,781 Potato clock! 299 00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,683 (sobbing) 300 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,388 I'm just bustin' your clangers, kid. 301 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,590 All right, it's okay. 302 00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,291 I want you out! 303 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,661 (Bart sobbing) 304 00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,800 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 305 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,135 Where's the baby registered?! 306 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,504 MAUREEN: DraftKings! 307 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,140 How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? 308 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,809 Once would be nice. 309 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,545 Wow, you're really bustin' my clangers. 310 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,013 That guy's a lunatic. 311 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,348 He's not crazy. 312 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,183 He's the only one that respects me! 313 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,018 The kids and I respect you. 314 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,886 All you guys ever did was love me. 315 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,723 But look me in the eyes and tell me you respect me, 316 00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,558 as a nuclear guy. 317 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,526 (laughs nervously) 318 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,498 I just liked the feeling 319 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:48,167 that one person thinks I'm good at something. 320 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,136 Mm, I get it, Homie. 321 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,505 But if you really want to help this guy, 322 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,440 help him grow up. 323 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,509 (groans softly) 324 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:57,844 (bird caws) 325 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,512 MIKE: Come on, Fordham, 326 00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:00,647 Bucknell's got no rim protection. 327 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,216 They're garbage. Just cover the spread. 328 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,384 (groans) 329 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,019 Hey, Homer. How's it clangin'? 330 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:08,488 I'm, uh, just tunin' in to a little college hoops. 331 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,723 Yeah, Mike, I was thinking, 332 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,727 if you weren't a 35‐year‐old unpaid intern 333 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,864 with a baby on the way, do you have any other dreams? 334 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,566 Ah, man, you are mentoring me hard right now. 335 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,236 Oh, okay, I'm gonna tell you, but don't laugh. 336 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,671 I won't. 337 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,306 ‐Slices. ‐Uh‐huh. 338 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,641 Nothing better than getting a slice of pizza, right? 339 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,678 But it's always been under the heat lamp all dried out. 340 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,579 Damn heat lamp. 341 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,416 Right. So why not make the pizza one slice at a time, 342 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,583 hot and fresh? 343 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,686 Every slice is Derek Jeter. 344 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,854 No Scott Brosius in the bunch. 345 00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,890 (gasps) That's genius! 346 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:46,092 Oh, my God, I can't believe you like it. 347 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,362 Mike! You know what you should call your slices? 348 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,597 Mike's Slices. 349 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,099 I'm Mike! 350 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,601 Yeah! Okay, what you need is an investor, 351 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,704 and I know the perfect person. 352 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,806 He gave me five dollars. 353 00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:03,009 Every slice hot and fresh 354 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,011 from the oven into your mouth. 355 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,113 Every slice a Jeter. 356 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,916 No Scott Brosiuses. 357 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:12,919 Why can't I get a whole pizza and slice it myself? 358 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,454 There are no whole pizzas. 359 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,056 It's just slices, hot and fresh. 360 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,892 And don't worry about investing with this guy, Mr. Burns, 361 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,395 because he's backed by the full mentorship 362 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,764 of Homer J. Simpsons. 363 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:27,266 Then it's my pleasure to tell you... 364 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,903 that that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 365 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:34,240 Get this intern out of my office, you nincompoop! 366 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,241 (groans angrily) 367 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,776 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 368 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:41,114 Ho! No one disrespects Homer J. Simpsons. 369 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,949 No, Mike, don't. 370 00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:43,783 Nin... 371 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,184 com... poop! 372 00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,453 Listen to me, you skunk‐bag full of Centrum Silver 373 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,422 sitting on your peanut brittle ass 374 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,424 with your turn‐of‐the‐century buzzard face. 375 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,960 You ain't worthy to squeegee this man's back sweat. 376 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,129 You smell like Chinese food that someone left 377 00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,830 in an old jack‐o'‐lantern. 378 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,733 My mentor is the shiniest diamond in the whole Zales, 379 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,469 so stuff your organs back in their jars 380 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,605 and crawl in your mummy box, 381 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,641 you sick, fungused‐up, hep‐C Dracula! 382 00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,644 (gasps) 383 00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,179 By the way, he's off his happy pills. 384 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,186 You're lucky Mr. Burns's gun was 200 years old. 385 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,754 Yeah, but now my doctor says 386 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,823 I can't get shot in the face again. 387 00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,825 Who's ugly now, pellet‐head? 388 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,860 (chuckles mockingly) 389 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,830 Come on, it's okay. Don't cry. 390 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,800 I'm not. All the BBs in my head are making it heavy. 391 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,501 Mike, this is all my fault. 392 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,371 I know you think I'm a great nuclear guy, but I'm not. 393 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,273 I didn't stop those accidents. 394 00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:41,808 I caused them. 395 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,543 ‐Huh? No. No. ‐(BBs clattering) 396 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,478 All my posters‐‐ "Bet on Yourself," 397 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,213 "Go Big or Go Home"‐‐ 398 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,016 I was caught shoplifting those from a poster store. 399 00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:53,586 I was trying to go big, and they wouldn't let me go home. 400 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:57,190 Mike, face it, I'm a bad mentor. 401 00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,725 No one disrespects Homer Simpsons. 402 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,360 Not even you. 403 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:03,863 You're the best mentor a lousy bride‐banger like me 404 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,264 could ever ask for. 405 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,133 And I'm gonna prove it. 406 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,701 ‐(door closes) ‐Who spilled BBs 407 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,937 ‐all over the... whoa! ‐(BBs clattering) 408 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:16,142 MIKE: Yo! Mentor! 409 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:19,378 ("That's Amore" instrumental playing over P. A.) 410 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,080 (tires screech) 411 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,382 Anybody want a slice of pizza 412 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,551 that wasn't sliced from a pizza? 413 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,587 Where'd you get a food truck? 414 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,523 It's all cause of you, mentor, all cause of you. Deal with it. 415 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,758 The boys and I will take a large pie. 416 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,861 Can't you read a truck, Cookie Puss? 417 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,095 Slices only! 418 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,030 All righty, three slices, please. 419 00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:41,734 They'll be ready in 13, 26 and 39 minutes. 420 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,903 And don't block the window, sizzle chest. 421 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,572 When will my slice be ready? 422 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,275 And by "slice," I mean the first payment 423 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,777 on your outstanding loan. 424 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,580 You borrowed money from the mob?! 425 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,549 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's all good. 426 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,752 I took a one‐week loan from Fat Tony for a hundred grand. 427 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,687 I put $50k into the truck 428 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,190 and then bet the other 50 on tonight's Lehigh game, 429 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,658 which is a lock. 430 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,060 So when I win the bet, I pay back the mob, 431 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,363 and I own the truck free and clear. 432 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,697 Oh, no. 433 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,066 You bet on yourself! 434 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,402 Go big or go home, baby. 435 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,271 ANNOUNCER: And Lehigh's in trouble 436 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,107 as Holy Cross goes on an unanswered 20‐point run. 437 00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:23,643 (shouts) No, no, no, Lehigh is a lock! 438 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,946 They're undefeated on floors with hockey ice beneath them. 439 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:30,449 Yet again, a man's life hangs by the gossamer thread 440 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:33,152 of Patriot League basketball. 441 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,320 Guns up. 442 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,988 (cocking guns) 443 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,124 ANNOUNCER: But Lehigh takes the lead with a three 444 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,926 from way behind the arc. 445 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,794 ‐BOTH: Yes! ‐Guns down. 446 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,995 (uncocking guns) 447 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,430 ANNOUNCER: But the Crusaders answer 448 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,499 ‐with a floater in the key! ‐(cocking guns) 449 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,569 And Lehigh comes back with a monster dunk! 450 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,837 ‐Yeah! ‐(uncocking guns) 451 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:55,541 As the final seconds tick awa, Lehigh has this one in the ba! 452 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:56,676 BOTH: Whoo‐hoo! 453 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,144 The body bag! 454 00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,079 As a last‐second half‐court heave 455 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,315 gives Holy Cross the win. 456 00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:03,883 Guns up. 457 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,918 Safeties off. 458 00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,753 (guns clicking) 459 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:08,988 (tires screech) 460 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,389 Don't worry, I know a place 461 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:11,891 where they will never find us. 462 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,994 (dog howling) 463 00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:19,131 HOMER: (gasps) A food truck graveyard. 464 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,640 Why are there so many failed ones? 465 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,710 'Cause they don't have an original concept, like me. 466 00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:35,114 (tires screech) 467 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,921 (Homer whimpering) 468 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,657 (both gasp) 469 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,726 (both moaning nervously) 470 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,062 Homer, I got to tell you one thing. 471 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,530 Your boy's not ugly. 472 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:52,865 He's gorgeous. 473 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,400 Just like his old man. 474 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,901 He's gonna clean up. 475 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,703 Tell baby Patrick I loved her. 476 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,572 All right, do me. 477 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,707 (sniffing) 478 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,876 I smell mozzarella 479 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:08,681 gently melting over a single slice of triangular dough. 480 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:12,785 Before the end, we will share a pie. 481 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,087 It's just slices, you goombah caveman! 482 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,524 Mmm! Usually a slice is dried out 483 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,560 from sitting under a heat lamp, but this is hot and fresh! 484 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,696 See? This guy has good ideas. 485 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,197 What if... 486 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:29,301 you let Mike work in the truck to pay you back? 487 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:32,038 No. The food truck business is too big a gamble. 488 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,440 And even our gambling operation is in trouble 489 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,743 with the advent of legal online wagering. 490 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:40,112 Too bad you can't take action out of my food truck, 491 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,614 let the betting come to you. 492 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,416 Now, do me already! 493 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:46,118 A food truck that takes bets? 494 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,222 I'll take a slice of cheese 495 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:52,458 and the moneyline on Georgetown. 496 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,263 Yo, Tony! We're raking it in on the sportsbook. 497 00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:01,133 And it was a great idea to sell weed out of this thing also. 498 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:06,772 Homer, you believed in this stagelagoots 499 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,841 when no one else would. 500 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,610 You listened to him, nurtured his ideas, 501 00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:14,013 and now he is a success. 502 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:18,117 Truly, you are an excellent mentor. 503 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,819 ♪ Let ♪ 504 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,122 ♪ The river run ♪ 505 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:26,425 ♪ Let all the dreamers ♪ 506 00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:30,629 ♪ Wake the nation ♪ 507 00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,498 ♪ Come ♪ 508 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:38,471 ♪ The new Jerusalem... ♪ 509 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:46,045 ♪ Silver cities rise... ♪ 510 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:54,320 ♪ It's asking for the taking ♪ 511 00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:59,759 ♪ Trembling, shaking ♪ 512 00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:04,930 ♪ Oh, my heart is aching ♪ 513 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,265 ♪ We're coming to the edge ♪ 514 00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:08,300 ♪ Running on the water ♪ 515 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,503 ♪ Coming through the fog, your sons and daughters ♪ 516 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:14,340 ‐♪ Let the river run ♪ ‐♪ Let the river run ♪ 517 00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:18,344 ‐♪ Let all the dreamers ♪ ‐♪ Let all the dreamers ♪ 518 00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:21,347 ‐♪ Wake the nation ♪ ‐♪ Wake the nation ♪ 519 00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:27,086 ♪ Come, the new Jerusalem... ♪ 520 00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:29,021 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 521 00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,123 Shh!