1 00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:12,179 ♪ Okily‐dokily, okily‐dokily ♪ 2 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,181 ♪ Come meet Ned Flanders ♪ 3 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,583 ♪ And his two boys Rod and Todd ♪ 4 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,586 ♪ He's friends with God and has a ripped bod ♪ 5 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:22,089 ♪ Diddly ♪ 6 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,625 ♪ Doodily, diddly ♪ 7 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,294 ♪ Doodily ♪ 8 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:32,599 ♪ Diddly... ♪ 9 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:36,503 ♪ Doodily ♪ 10 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:39,072 ♪ Diddly, doodily, diddly... ♪ 11 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,174 No couch, boys. I gave it to the poor. 12 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,243 ‐Yay! ‐Yay! 13 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,078 ♪ A‐diddly‐doodily ♪ 14 00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,014 ♪ Diddly‐doodily. ♪ 15 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,051 Neddy? Neddy. 16 00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:53,120 Oh, Maude, you've come back. 17 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,789 Completely clothed and untouchable. 18 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,058 This is the sexiest dream I've ever had. 19 00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,126 Wait, Maudie. 20 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,727 Just one little kiss. 21 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,666 (howls) 22 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,234 All tongue, no lips. 23 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,769 Just like Maude. 24 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:09,937 (crying) 25 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,772 Daddy, why are you crying? 26 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:13,907 Oh, just watering the old lip lawn. 27 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:15,509 I had a dream about your mom. 28 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,010 Don't you ever dream about her? 29 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,485 Faster, Mommy, faster. 30 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:27,654 Aah! 31 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,089 Ow! 32 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,458 (screams) 33 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,061 What's wrong, Todd? 34 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:37,130 I can never unsee that. 35 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,367 (whimpers) 36 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,569 It's okay, son. Just a bad dream. 37 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,071 Want some lukewarm water? 38 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:47,975 Daddy, I can't remember what Mommy looks like. 39 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,143 I think I might have a video or two of your mother. 40 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,411 ROD: What's wrong? 41 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,480 (screams) 42 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:57,417 I'm doing Mommy's old skin routine. 43 00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:59,753 Now, that's the healthy way to grieve. 44 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,555 (Todd groans) 45 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,193 (humming "Deck the Halls") 46 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:09,963 (giggles) I'm scared. 47 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:13,033 Well, I have faith in you. 48 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,369 Who are you people, 49 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:17,237 and what have you done with my family? 50 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,872 ‐Answer me! ‐(chuckles) 51 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:22,009 Oh, Dad, every time we make you shovel the driveway, 52 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,144 you wind up someplace crazy. 53 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,879 Won't you join us for dinner? 54 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,514 (chuckles): He sure will. 55 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,583 I'll pick him up tomorrow. 56 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:33,687 (crying): Mommy was so nice. 57 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,856 And she still is, Roddily Doddily. 58 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,392 How do you know? Have you heard from her? 59 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,360 Oh, uh, n‐no, sir. 60 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:43,130 But, uh, faith is believing in something without proof. 61 00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,632 Uh, you can't see my lip below my mustache, 62 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,035 ‐but you know it's there. ‐Can I see it? 63 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,369 No. 64 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,238 My math teacher said 65 00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:54,141 believing in something without proof is crazy. 66 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,576 You think the coat of many colors was crazy? 67 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:58,812 Noah's ark and the Holy Ghost, crazy? 68 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:02,582 Don't tell me you're doubting Balaam's talking ass. 69 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:08,021 Mommy, if you still remember me, give me a sign. 70 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,623 This is Homer Simpson auditioning 71 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,192 for the air guitar championship of the world. 72 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,428 I'm taking you down, Bjorn Turoque. 73 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,496 (imitating guitar playing) 74 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,403 ♪ Praise God from whom ♪ 75 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:27,374 ♪ All blessings flow ♪ 76 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,376 ♪ Praise God ♪ 77 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:34,314 ♪ It's almost time to go ♪ 78 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,983 ♪ This boring sermon ♪ 79 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:41,188 ♪ Must end soon ♪ 80 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,824 ♪ Arena football's ♪ 81 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:47,461 ♪ On at noon. ♪ 82 00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:48,829 HOMER: Ooh! 83 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,530 (crowd cheering) 84 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,698 Whoo‐hoo! 85 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:55,102 And for that simple reason, we are right 86 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:58,672 and Episcopalians are wrong, wrong, wrong. 87 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,107 Now I'd like to invite 88 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,409 our littlest parishioners to the front. 89 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:05,245 Gertie, a little traveling music, please? 90 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,448 (slow hymn playing) 91 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:13,120 Soon as we can, we're replacing her with Spotify. 92 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:16,189 I'm taking middle C. 93 00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,825 So, tell me, young Christians, 94 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,994 if you could speak to Baby Jesus, 95 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,329 what would you say? 96 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,331 I'd say thank you for being born, 97 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,333 'cause that gave us Christmas. 98 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,834 ALL: Aw! 99 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,269 Mmm, I'm killing it. 100 00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:31,171 Ralph, what would you say? 101 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,939 I'd say, "Baby Jesus, 102 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,942 thank you for dying for our shins." 103 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,311 (congregation chuckles) 104 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,214 And you, Todd? What would you say? 105 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:49,856 (hoarsely): I lost my voice from crying. 106 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,525 Oh, come on, young man. 107 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,260 You're my closer. 108 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,162 ("Charge" playing) 109 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,865 What would you say to Jesus? 110 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,634 I'd say... 111 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,302 thanks for nothing! 112 00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,805 My mommy's dead and she's never coming back, 113 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,973 and I don't believe in God anymore. 114 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,141 (feedback screeches) 115 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,609 (congregation gasps) 116 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,713 No. No! (whimpers) 117 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,052 Thank God these collection baskets were empty. 118 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,453 You're welcome. 119 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,195 ♪ A mighty problem is our Todd ♪ 120 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,864 ♪ His faith in God ♪ 121 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:34,401 ♪ Is failing ♪ 122 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:40,173 ♪ Homer accidentally killed his mom ♪ 123 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:46,112 ♪ He knocked her off a railing. ♪ 124 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,887 Now, son, let me put this gently. 125 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,722 We're all going to hell! 126 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:59,059 You opened a doorway to disbelief in God's own house! 127 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,394 Why does God need so many houses? 128 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,063 Couldn't some go to poor people? 129 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,232 You just stop right there, boy. 130 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,566 You do not question 131 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,269 God's real estate holdings and tax‐free status. 132 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:12,272 (exhales) I have to let off a little steam. 133 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:15,575 Shucks! Shucks! Shucks! 134 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,579 (grunts) 135 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:22,015 That's it. Young man, I am FaceTiming the reverend. 136 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,818 (chuckles): Reverend, 137 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,887 I know you hate it when I bother you. 138 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,221 (theme from Swan Lake playing) 139 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,557 ‐Aah! ‐(crying) 140 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,158 It's okay. It's okay. 141 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,628 I'm at my daughter's ballet recital. 142 00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:35,629 Oh, is she good? 143 00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:38,398 Seriously, are any of them good? 144 00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:40,467 Reverend, like the pharaoh's army in the Red Sea, 145 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,635 I'm in over my head. 146 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,703 My heathen son needs you right now. 147 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:47,974 Oh, sorry, got to go. 148 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,643 I have to read the last rites... 149 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,678 for the art of ballet. 150 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,214 Lord, please punish my boy thoroughly 151 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:57,717 so he may once again believe in thine divine mercy. 152 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:01,254 ‐Daddy, I have a problem. ‐Oh, you, too? 153 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:04,958 I accidentally watched a 30 Rock by mistake. 154 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,127 Oh! Oh, my good, good boy. 155 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,429 ‐Mmm. ‐So it's okay to watch? 156 00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:12,499 Just Kenneth. Just Kenneth. Mmm. 157 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:15,635 (groans) 158 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,505 Good morning, Rod. Todd. God. 159 00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:19,940 ‐Good morning. ‐Morning. 160 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,642 Let us, uh, stiffly resume our nice, regular routine. 161 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,811 Dear Lord, we thank you for this breakfast, 162 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:28,448 each generic brand Circle‐O a symbol of God's unending love. 163 00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,016 ‐Amen. ‐Amen. 164 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,851 Todd? 165 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,555 Son? Can I just get an amen? 166 00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:37,958 A prayer without an amen 167 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,526 is like a Tootsie Pop without a center. 168 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,861 Oh, I apologize for thinking the word "tootsie." 169 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,296 But there must be a way 170 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,165 to scare religion back into my son. 171 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:48,034 Isn't there some hell on earth I could briefly place him in? 172 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,636 HOMER: Let me in, boy! 173 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:52,205 The school bus will be here any minute! 174 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,342 (laughs) To find your clothes, just solve this series of clues: 175 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,711 what has bark but no bite? 176 00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,145 Um, the dog? 177 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,815 ‐(imitates buzzer) Wrong. A tree. ‐(groans) 178 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,516 Here's another. If a plane crashes 179 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,518 on the border of North and South Dakota, 180 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,620 where do you bury the survivors? 181 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:08,788 Uh, Minnesota. 182 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,357 (imitates buzzer) Wrong. 183 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,126 You don't bury the survivors. They're survivors! 184 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,128 I don't understand, but I'll bury you. 185 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,997 Tell you what. I'll give you your pants back 186 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,833 ‐if you can answer this last one. ‐Uh‐huh. 187 00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:22,035 ‐What has two hairs on top... ‐Right. 188 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,504 ‐...is somebody's dad... ‐Somebody's dad, yes. 189 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:27,307 ...and starting right now he's getting quite mad? 190 00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:30,310 I don't know, but just give me my pants, boy! 191 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,512 (kids laughing) 192 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,014 (Bart laughs) 193 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,281 Can we take pictures? 194 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,517 Wait, you see that, too? 195 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,688 FLANDERS: That Simpson house 196 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,957 will put the fear of God in him. 197 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,625 Give me your pants. 198 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,962 Todd Flanders, I cast thee out. 199 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,431 ♪ His little mind ♪ 200 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,367 ♪ Is filled with doubt ♪ 201 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:59,139 ♪ So now we have to cast him out ♪ 202 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:04,010 ♪ You'll learn the Lord is sweet ♪ 203 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:09,649 ♪ On his journey of 40 feet. ♪ 204 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,259 Daddy, do you love me more now? 205 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:20,627 (chuckles) Just by asking, 206 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,695 you have committed the sin of pride. 207 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:25,799 Yes, Ned, yes. 208 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,534 We'll keep him here till tomorrow. 209 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,070 Yes, I'll read him a good bedtime story. 210 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,038 Right, right. No wizards. 211 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,541 No pagans. No wild things. 212 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,876 How about The Very Hungry Caterpillar? 213 00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,545 No, that celebrates gluttony. 214 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,280 Clifford the Big Red Dog? 215 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:42,649 (scoffs) Clifford the satanic abomination. 216 00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:43,783 Everyone Poops? 217 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,752 Not me. 218 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,654 Todd. Psst! Todd. 219 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,323 I know what it's like to leave the faith of your family. 220 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,991 Thank you so much, Lisa. 221 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,593 At last, someone gets it. 222 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,495 (new age music playing) 223 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,497 But have I got a god for you. 224 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,833 Consider the Buddha. He brings peace from within. 225 00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,768 He avoids the pitfalls of ego, 226 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,837 he loves yoga and Yoda, 227 00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,839 and he's lost weight. 228 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,507 What happens when you die? 229 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:11,144 You get reincarnated as a human or an animal or a ghost. 230 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:15,014 Pass. Buddha's no god, and neither is God. 231 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,016 Don't worry, I'll get him. 232 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:20,687 By the way, what did you reincarnate David Bowie as? 233 00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:22,856 Help me, love. It's Bowie. 234 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:26,259 (gasps) I've been meditating too much. 235 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,027 Where's Todd? 236 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,529 It was horrible. 237 00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,531 I woke up, and he'd cleaned my room. 238 00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,366 What kind of psycho does that? 239 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,834 Hi, Grampa Simpson. 240 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,202 (exclaiming) 241 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,171 You're talking to me directly? 242 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,707 Even my Alexa won't do that. 243 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,375 ELDERLY FEMALE VOICE: Being with him 244 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:46,246 has made me so tired. 245 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,647 HOMER: Hey, Marge, 246 00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,082 you may have noticed 247 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,284 I took a shower earlier this week. 248 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,719 (makes kissing sounds) 249 00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,220 I can't. I can't. 250 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,055 Not with Todd in the house. 251 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,625 Oh, we've had kids in the house for ten years. 252 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:01,361 Not that one. He's used to silence. 253 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,563 ‐He'll hear us. ‐No, he won't. 254 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,231 TODD: Yes, I will! 255 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,901 Oof! Got to get rid of that kid. 256 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:09,903 Can it be? 257 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,337 Oh, my goodness! 258 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,173 The face of our Lord and Savior 259 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,874 in a humble piece of toast? 260 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:17,343 Clearly, no human could have made this. 261 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,611 Huh? 262 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,213 And the Lord said, 263 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,049 "Take this and eat, for I am the toast of the town." 264 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,218 ‐You drew that on. ‐No, no. 265 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,787 God drew it on. Look, he signed it. 266 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,722 "Jebus." See? 267 00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:32,592 Why would God make toast that looked like Jesus? 268 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,260 'Cause parents are always showing off pictures 269 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,063 ‐of their kids? ‐(munching) 270 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,065 (crying): So much innocent bread died 271 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,500 for my sins. 272 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,168 (sobbing) 273 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,604 So innocent. 274 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,573 ♪ What is good ♪ 275 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,508 ♪ And what is sin ♪ 276 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:54,480 ♪ Bart wants to get rid of him. ♪ 277 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,815 Yo, this is Todd. 278 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,451 I have to share my room until he believes in God again. 279 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:01,154 You don't believe in God? Well, that's crazy. 280 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,923 Who else but an all‐loving, omnipotent being 281 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,826 could create beautiful wedgies and purple nurples? 282 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,328 Not so fast. 283 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,463 What if I'm the only being in the universe, 284 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,298 and you're all my mental projections? 285 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,067 Project this! 286 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:17,070 I must have wanted this to happen! 287 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,305 So now that you see how bad kids turn out, 288 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,673 you want to go home, right? 289 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,909 Stop using us as examples! 290 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,211 I believe your friends are all going to Hell. 291 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,180 ‐Whoa! ‐Yeah! ‐Cool! 292 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,448 ‐(Homer giggling) ‐(Marge moaning) 293 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,283 (Homer and Marge moaning) 294 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:34,787 TODD: I hear you! 295 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,723 What doesn't that little twerp hear? 296 00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:39,559 TODD: I don't know, but I heard that. 297 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,027 (dryer rattling) 298 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,962 (quietly): Okay. He can't hear us now. 299 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,564 TODD: Yes, I can. 300 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:47,066 You're unbuttoning your shirt, Mr. Simpson. 301 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,970 What does that paper say? 302 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,508 LISA: Oh. Hi, Todd. 303 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:56,909 Still seeking enlightenment? 304 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,711 I told you, not now. 305 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,647 Maybe I'll reconsider your stupid beliefs 306 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,548 when I come back as a worm. 307 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,151 In Buddhism, that's halfway to "yes"! 308 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,320 Look, Todd, you don't have to believe. 309 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,690 In church, just smile and nod, but be sleeping on the inside. 310 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,392 That works at work, too. 311 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,227 But I really don't believe. 312 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,530 I'm sad because my mommy's gone and never coming back. 313 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,232 You know how that feels? 314 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,667 Oh, do I. 315 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,702 Oh, no, don't relive it. Don't! 316 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,138 You don't come home for dinner 317 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:26,539 till 10:00 at night. 318 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,308 You never cook anything worth eating. 319 00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,209 Well, who wants to cook for a failure? 320 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,412 Good God, woman, why did you marry me? 321 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,947 To piss off my mother, and it worked! 322 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:38,117 Tell the kid I love him, but I'm as bad at goodbyes 323 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:41,754 ‐as I am at picking husbands. ‐(Grampa groaning) 324 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,791 (crying): My mom is gone. 325 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:47,060 And so is my ice cream. 326 00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:50,163 And so is my hair! 327 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,001 Moe, I got to get drunk. And fast. 328 00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,772 FLANDERS: I'll take one, too. 329 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,341 BOTH: What the...?! 330 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,476 I'm losing everything. Just give me a drink! 331 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,678 I'm sorry, Flanders. I can't pour you a drink. 332 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,581 You're too good. It's just, it's not something I can do. 333 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,850 Please. I'm begging you. 334 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,919 Yeah, that's $24. 335 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:17,790 ♪ Ned Flanders is drinking today ♪ 336 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,627 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 337 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:26,933 ♪ His son Todd has gone astray ♪ 338 00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:31,904 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 339 00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:35,308 ♪ Raise your mug and drink it down ♪ 340 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:40,346 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 341 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,682 BARITONE SINGER: ♪ In the worst bar ♪ 342 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:45,184 ♪ In this town ♪ 343 00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:50,089 ♪ Allelujah. ♪ 344 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,025 (slurring): You know, Homer, I always thought 345 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,794 you proved the existence of God. 346 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,630 I mean, you fall off cliffs, and you're fit as a fiddle. 347 00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,132 Well, ain't that a diddle! 348 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:00,867 (laughs) 349 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,435 ‐Diddly, diddly. ‐(laughs) 350 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,103 ‐Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle. ‐(laughs): Diddly, diddly. 351 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,538 Whoa! 352 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,974 (both laughing) 353 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,976 So this is what it's like 354 00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,744 to look down on someone. 355 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,012 (belches) 356 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,914 You know what, Ned? There may... 357 00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,482 there may not be a heaven, 358 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,918 but getting drunk with you ain't hell. 359 00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,854 (both laugh) 360 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,322 (mumbles): Oh, you're great. 361 00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:26,325 This is the beginning of a beautiful... 362 00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:27,693 (grunting) 363 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,762 You killed them! 364 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,664 This is the worst Uber ride ever! 365 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,332 You're getting four stars. 366 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:38,237 No...! 367 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,045 ♪ ♪ 368 00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,192 Welcome to Heaven. 369 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:02,195 Oh, Lord. It's just as beautiful as I pictured it. 370 00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,330 This is your version, Ned. 371 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,399 Homer gets his, too. 372 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,471 So, not like I'm feeling I put in way too much work, 373 00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,372 but Homer got in, too? 374 00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:16,209 Well, a couple of years ago, sloth became a virtue. 375 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:18,211 I don't really understand it. 376 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,079 You'd have to talk to my kid. 377 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,181 He's 33 and still lives at home. 378 00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,584 I've been through some stuff, man. 379 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,986 (gasps) Abe Lincoln! 380 00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:28,421 Did you know the picture 381 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,657 about my life is Spielberg's biggest movie? 382 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:35,194 No! What about Jaws and E. T., and all the Jurassic...? 383 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,396 Well, how did I do in the awards? 384 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,899 ‐You were beaten by Argo. ‐Argo?! 385 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:43,703 That was the worst experience I ever had in a theater. 386 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,872 You have other people to see. 387 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,207 ‐Wear these passes. ‐Visitors? 388 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,775 Hmm, that's odd. 389 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,044 It must mean that your bodies aren't dead yet. 390 00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,080 ♪ We need you now ♪ 391 00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:58,284 ♪ O God on high ♪ 392 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:04,824 ♪ So stupid Flanders and Homer don't die. ♪ 393 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,927 Ned Flanders, I swear to you I will use every ounce of skill 394 00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,096 in my body to bring you back to life. 395 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,265 (sniffles) What about Homer? 396 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:13,666 Mm, que será, será. 397 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,067 (laughs) 398 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,737 (sobbing) 399 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,877 (sobbing) 400 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,613 Oh, my. They're holding a vigil. 401 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,483 Look how many, many lives Dad touched. 402 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,118 That's Flanders' vigil. 403 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,653 Dad's is over there. 404 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:37,056 Vigils are a surprisingly large part of this job. 405 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:39,659 Oh, yeah! So sad! 406 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,795 Dad's an acquired taste, Lis, like Hawaiian pizza. 407 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:46,165 Dad never judged a pizza by where it came from. 408 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,101 (cries) He just ate it. 409 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,970 BART: God, this is just you and me, 410 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,638 so I'm gonna tell you a secre. 411 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,341 I love my dad, so please don't take him. 412 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,709 (Lisa cries) 413 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,644 Bart, what are you praying for? 414 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,379 New bike. 415 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,317 Are you sure you don't want to pray for your dad? 416 00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,818 I can't pray. 417 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,120 I don't think anyone's listening anymore. 418 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:10,990 Oh, sweetie, prayer doesn't have to be to God. 419 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,459 It can also just be an honest conversation 420 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,428 we have with ourselves. 421 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,897 Just do what your heart tells you. 422 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,567 Oh, I'm not really sure what's happening, 423 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,770 but I'm really sad, and I need help. 424 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:29,141 ♪ Rejoice, rejoice ♪ 425 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:33,145 ♪ O Springfield town ♪ 426 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:36,148 ♪ 'Cause what goes up ♪ 427 00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:40,620 ♪ Must come down. ♪ 428 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:41,887 (buzzing) 429 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,057 (ship horn blows) 430 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,392 (cheering) 431 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,160 I'm winning every bet! 432 00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,563 And there's no stupid Fox halftime show. 433 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,565 Could Heaven be any better? 434 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,567 (munching) 435 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,703 I agree. This is everything I could possibly dream of. 436 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,538 (plays pretty chord) 437 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:00,640 (gasps) 438 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,142 Todd is praying. He's praying for me. 439 00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,311 (laughs) And it's working! 440 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,179 I'm returning to my family! 441 00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,681 Bye, Homer. 442 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,185 ‐Homer? ‐Mom? 443 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:17,790 I never got a chance to say goodbye, but now I can. 444 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,692 Remember, I'm not a hugger. 445 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,127 Oh, right. Sorry. 446 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,529 You never need to apologize to me. 447 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,365 In my eyes, you're perfect. 448 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,200 Ah, we're in Heaven. 449 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,036 Come here, you. 450 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:34,674 Oh, my God, this is all I ever wanted! 451 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:35,908 HOMER: Aw, damn it! 452 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,579 Hallelujah! I'm alive and back in this big beautiful world. 453 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,115 I could kiss the first thing I see. 454 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,284 Ah. Promise is a promise. 455 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,686 ‐Homie! ‐Dad! 456 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,454 ‐Doughboy! ‐Yay! 457 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,624 Daddy, you came back! I believe again! 458 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,959 Two lives saved by prayer. 459 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,461 And modern medicine. 460 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,263 This is why I became a doctor. 461 00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,231 Because you both owe me $12,000. 462 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,633 (laughs) 463 00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,806 No, no, no, no. 464 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,641 Nirvana is for closers, and you couldn't close the deal. 465 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,609 ‐But‐but... ‐But‐but‐but‐but‐but nothing! 466 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,279 You couldn't even close Todd frickin' Flanders! 467 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:15,181 That kid would follow a butterfly. 468 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,116 Just give me one more chance. 469 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:20,820 Do you think I got to be Buddha by being patient?! 470 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,856 Check this out. I got you Ralph Wiggum. 471 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:27,193 Ralph Wiggum? What am I gonna do with Ralph Wiggum? 472 00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:29,495 Everything is nothing! 473 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,998 Kid, you just blew my mind. 474 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,668 (organ music playing) 475 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,375 Good night, Roddy. 476 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,081 Ha! 477 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:55,421 ♪ Praise God from whom all blessings flow ♪ 478 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,889 ♪ Praise God ♪ 479 00:20:56,956 --> 00:21:02,294 ♪ It's almost time to go ♪ 480 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:08,601 ♪ Todd has found just what he seeks ♪ 481 00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:15,074 ♪ New episode in two weeks. ♪ 482 00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:24,483 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 483 00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:31,757 Shh!