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F/,5xt^+c$9?

294
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:12,165
Well, let's say you have
enough time to get a suitcase.

295
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,566
What's a suitcase?

296
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,069
Uh, all right,
let's move on to something else.

297
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:19,839
Okay, but first I got to ask:
Are you sleeping with my mom?!

298
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,441
‐No.
‐(sobs): Oh.

299
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,676
No one's ever said that!

300
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,648
That's what
we're going for, boys.

301
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,451
I can't believe we're gonna be
in the pride parade.

302
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:32,986
Christian pride.

303
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:35,955
Finally, Christians
can openly show our faith.

304
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,224
ROD and TODD:
We're sure! We're pure!

305
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,659
Get used to it!

306
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,527
‐(bicycle bell rings)
‐Hey, Bart.

307
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,796
Look who I taught
how to ride a bike.

308
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,798
Nelson already knew
how to ride a bike.

309
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:48,901
Yeah, but he didn't know how
to make cool motorcycle noises.

310
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,970
(Homer and Nelson
imitating motorcycles)

311
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,276
(Homer imitating loud revving)

312
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,217
Uh, let me help you
back on your hog.

313
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,954
Me and Nelson are so close,
people are calling us "Homeson."

314
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,889
Homeson away!

315
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,225
(Homer and Nelson
imitating motorcycles)

316
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,961
NELSON:
Homeson!

317
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,896
Vroom.

318
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,898
Mom, are you seeing all this?

319
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,900
‐Yes.
‐Are you gonna do anything?

320
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,002
‐No.
‐Why not?

321
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,038
(sighs)
This is a complicated one.

322
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,373
Both boys are being helped.

323
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,110
What I'm trying to say is
it's time to change Maggie.

324
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,313
Where are you, my little excuse?

325
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,617
Sorry!

326
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,590
‐(laughs)
‐(grunts)

327
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,061
Dad, what exactly
are you teaching Nelson?

328
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:49,128
Uh...

329
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:51,764
Banking.

330
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,199
Aiming for success.

331
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,303
And breaking into
the music industry.

332
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,372
Here's $40.

333
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,207
That's a lot of money to me.

334
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,911
But I want you to get some
therapy about what you're doing.

335
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:07,680
40 bucks' worth of therapy
coming up.

336
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,615
From a <i>licensed</i> therapist.

337
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,617
Moe has a liquor license.

338
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,220
Yeah, let's not discuss that
too much.

339
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,356
Take the money.
Get some help.

340
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,725
Why are you doing this?

341
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,394
Dad, I have to be
the voice of morality.

342
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:22,695
No, you don't.

343
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:25,098
Well, I <i>like</i> being
the voice of morality.

344
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,901
And I like believing
this role has not typecast me!

345
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:31,404
I can still do Shakespeare!

346
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:35,108
All that glitters
is not delicious Duff Gold!

347
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,843
To pee or not to pee!

348
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,511
There is no question!

349
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:39,912
Oh, no!

350
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:42,315
‐Excuse me. Got to pee.
‐(shoes squeaking)

351
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:46,452
<i>GIL:</i>
<i>Doc,</i>

352
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,020
I see it all so clearly now.

353
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:51,457
I'm afraid of success because
my father never had time for me.

354
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,259
‐Which means...
‐Time's up.

355
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,428
‐But two more minutes...
‐It's not a breakthrough.

356
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,264
Ah, now I feel worse
than when I came in.

357
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,099
See you next month.

358
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,870
Okay. 40 bucks
gets you ten minutes. Go!

359
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:06,939
I was mentoring another kid
to make my son jealous,

360
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:08,741
and something weird happened.

361
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,277
I'm actually starting to like
the little dingus.

362
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,578
Help me.

363
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,514
I am appalled!

364
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,251
You are ruining two boys' lives
for your own petty ego.

365
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,453
Let me tell you
what a good therapist says.

366
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,956
A good therapist says,
"Whatever you do is right"!

367
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,358
‐That's only if you're rich.
‐D'oh!

368
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:30,997
Mentor entering!

369
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:32,598
Hey, Homer, honey.

370
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,600
Come on,
spend a minute with Mama.

371
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,936
Look, lady,
I'm not interested in...

372
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,604
‐What the...?
‐I know.

373
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,940
You're just spending time
with my son

374
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,676
to make your son jealous.

375
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:47,914
Sooner or later, you're gonna
leave him, like all the rest.

376
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,349
(dramatic musical sting)

377
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,685
(higher dramatic musical sting)

378
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:54,754
(higher dramatic
musical sting)

379
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,389
(grunting)

380
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,557
Mm‐hmm.

381
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,192
(dramatic musical sting)

382
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,460
And it'll break his heart.

383
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,428
Hey, I'm not here
to save the world.

384
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:05,698
I'm a mentor.
I come in, I ment, then I go.

385
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:13,873
Tell that boy the truth.

386
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,074
(grunting)

387
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:17,710
(Homer grunts softly)

388
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,982
Son, we need to talk.

389
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:25,551
No. No.
I know where this goes.

390
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,753
It ends with you giving me
a phone number

391
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,822
that starts with 555.

392
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,090
No! Wait!

393
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,758
What do you have to say?

394
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,561
I was only mentoring you

395
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:38,731
to punish my son
for becoming a better boy.

396
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,733
‐I knew it!
‐Where are you going?

397
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,202
I'm gonna get even.
I can't make you stay,

398
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:46,005
but I can take it out
on your kid.

399
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,541
Not Bart! I <i>do</i> love <i>him!</i>

400
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,042
(exasperated grunt)

401
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,111
♪ ♪

402
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:03,956
(blows loud note)

403
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:06,692
(marching band playing)

404
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,694
CROWD (chanting):
We're Christians! We're proud!

405
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,830
(whispering):
But don't say it too loud.

406
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,833
Holding hands are holy hands.

407
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,868
Ew. Are you wearing lotion?

408
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,937
I'm very chappy.

409
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,339
♪ ♪

410
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:22,408
(crowd cheering)

411
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:34,620
♪ ♪

412
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,440
Uh, welcome, er, uh, Christians.

413
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,109
God is pleased to thank
our corporate sponsor,

414
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,778
C. Montgomery Burns.

415
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,079
(crowd boos)

416
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:01,881
LENNY:
Why won't you die?

417
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,550
Mr. Burns
will take questions later.

418
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:07,119
Er, uh, thanks
to this magnificent parade,

419
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:10,957
you right‐wing ding‐dongs
will keep me in office forever.

420
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,358
CROWD:
Yay!

421
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,330
And now, at the spectacular
culmination of the parade,

422
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:20,266
when the final float
has safely cleared the route,

423
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,268
a giant pair of praying hands

424
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,437
will swing from
the sides of the street

425
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:27,239
and come together in holy union.

426
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,347
He's gonna crush Bart!

427
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,715
Where's Flanders now?

428
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,516
Right here.
What do you need?

429
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,385
Get away from me!

430
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,520
♪ ♪

431
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,404
No...!

432
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,872
(grunts)

433
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:02,942
(grunting)

434
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,113
‐(coughing)
‐Hi, Dad.

435
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:10,016
Son, you want to ride
in the ambulance together?

436
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,351
Aw. That's always
been our thing.

437
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:15,354
Aw.

438
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,192
‐Dad?
‐Yes, son?

439
00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,495
Can I have a hit
off your oxygen?

440
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,363
Of course.

441
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,998
(inhales deeply)

442
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,533
I'm a great dad.

443
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,602
♪ ♪

444
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:39,378
I'm sorry I was using you.
You're a sweet kid.

445
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,914
One day we'll have a beer
about this and laugh.

446
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,516
‐Can it be tomorrow?
‐Sure.

447
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:47,053
But for today,
I know a certain stupid someone

448
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,456
who might be a little better
at this than me.

449
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,692
(heavenly choir sings)

450
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,063
‐What's the matter, son?
‐Ah, you wouldn't understand.

451
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,065
A rich church usher like you.

452
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,067
Hey, I got two troublemakers
of my own.

453
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,235
Who told you boys
you could clean up this dump?

454
00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:04,403
BOTH:
No one.

455
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,405
I think I just might understand
how you feel.

456
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,841
You lost a dad.
I lost two Mrs. Flanderses.

457
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,343
Maybe my boys and I could take
you to a ball game sometime.

458
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,345
‐What do you say?
‐Papa!

459
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,148
Yay! We have a brother!

460
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,651
‐Mean foster brother.
‐ROD and TODD: Yay!

461
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:26,459
God bless Rod and Todd and
especially my wonderful mentor,

462
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:28,127
Mr. Flanders.

463
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:29,428
OTHERS:
Amen.

464
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:32,098
Let me get fresh napkins
for everyone.

465
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,433
Hey, how's it going?

466
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,837
Still can't believe you've
renounced the way of the bully.

467
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,506
Eh, what can I say?
People change.

468
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,709
Thaw‐thaw!

469
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,850
(organ plays "Charge" fanfare)

470
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,819
Tell me again, why did I
trade Flanders for you?

471
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:56,155
Because we can do this.

472
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,490
‐(grunts)
‐FLANDERS: Ow!

473
00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:00,226
(both laughing)

474
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:11,337
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

475
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:30,156
Shh!

