1
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,208
♪ ♪
2
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,643
D'oh!
3
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,246
(grunts)
4
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:17,084
Haw‐haw! Green screen.
5
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,193
♪ ♪
6
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,475
Lenny,
I didn't know you had kids.
7
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,809
I don't.
8
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,811
I hired them to look like
I'm a family man.
9
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,813
How you doing, Lenny Jr.?
10
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,216
Never better, Lenny Sr.
11
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,184
- (phone chimes)
- Hey, I just got cast
12
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,886
as Krusty's kid
at a custody hearing.
13
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,121
Possible recurring.
14
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,423
Later, loser!
15
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,125
(chuckles)
Kids.
16
00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,560
(feedback screeches)
17
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,695
Welcome, iso‐tots.
(chuckles)
18
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,196
Are you having fun?
19
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,365
KIDS:
Yay!
20
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,335
Excellent. Now, as your parents
leave you alone with me,
21
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,138
let's begin the festivities.
(chuckles)
22
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,106
♪ ♪
23
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,075
Yes, there they go. Bye‐bye.
24
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,144
Last mommy out. Excellent.
25
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,579
I now declare the start
26
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,415
of Put Your Kids to Work Day.
27
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,849
♪ ♪
28
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,824
(gasping, screaming)
29
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,463
(screaming)
30
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:49,876
This plant has over 17,000
contaminated crevices
31
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,312
that only your tiny hands
can reach.
32
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,747
Get to work, slackers.
33
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,116
At least this ride
doesn't have a creepy song.
34
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:59,419
♪ You'll work for me,
or you'll get the lash ♪
35
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:03,323
♪ You won't get dental,
health or cash. ♪
36
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,525
No!
37
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:09,463
Even Mr. Burns
can't get away with this.
38
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,666
Oh, Monty, you've still got it.
39
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,235
That was like taking
eight hours of work from a baby.
40
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,572
Mr. Burns, according to
the child labor laws
41
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,107
of the United States...
42
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,075
Aah! Accountability?
43
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:27,114
In this game of cat and mouse,
44
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,683
I'm afraid Mr. Mouse
is far smarter than...
45
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,118
(screams)
46
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,220
LISA:
I know you're in here,
47
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:34,521
and nothing will stop me.
48
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,423
Wait, this is a men's room.
49
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,091
Ew, ew, ew!
50
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,694
Is that a tuna sandwich
on the sink?
51
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:44,197
Ugh! Gross, gross, gross!
52
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:49,102
Oh, employee cave drawings.
53
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,680
Let's see
what's on their feeble minds.
54
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:53,240
"There once was a lady
from China..." (mumbles)
55
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,875
"And North Carolina."
56
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,743
I assume what's in between
is unimportant.
57
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,879
(laughs)
There!
58
00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:01,248
Someone drew a big,
crying cucumber. That's nice.
59
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,417
Ooh! Something about me.
60
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,053
I'll need my cheaters for this.
61
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,454
- ♪ ♪
- (gasping)
62
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,058
What?
63
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,626
Oh!
64
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,229
Oh! They hate me.
65
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,765
Well, maybe things are better
in the ladies' room.
66
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,102
Effigies can be burned?
67
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,246
(exhales)
You should have seen
68
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,172
those hateful graffitos,
Smithers.
69
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,107
And the drawing of me
was so off‐model.
70
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,109
I wouldn't worry, sir.
71
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,043
Our workers
are pretty well‐pacified.
72
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:33,113
- Intimidation.
- Alleged intimidation.
73
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:37,751
- Beatings.
- Alleged beatings. Mm.
74
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,252
The poisonings.
75
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:40,787
Ah, yes.
76
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,623
We've had some alleged good
times, haven't we, Smithers?
77
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:47,127
But there is an undercurrent
of contempt for me.
78
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:48,562
No, there isn't.
79
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,864
You said Burns
is worse than Hitler.
80
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,532
Well, not worse at his job
than Hitler,
81
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,633
but a worse person.
82
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,868
(whistle blows)
83
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,369
Huh. Was that the work whistle?
84
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,438
Eh, who cares.
85
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,041
(scoffs) Everywhere,
I'm surrounded by malcontents,
86
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,576
termagants and Lennys.
87
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,545
Well, we could show the workers
some actual respect,
88
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:06,972
uh, considering
how many have died.
89
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,419
Or I could go undercover
and infiltrate the workers.
90
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,421
I'm beginning to suspect
91
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,389
these monitors
have been tampered with.
92
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:18,692
I've assembled
a world‐class team
93
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,061
to create
your undercover disguise.
94
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,064
The face mask specialist from
the Mission: Impossible movies.
95
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:27,367
I made Ving Rhames
look like Kristin Chenoweth.
96
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,703
I don't know any of those words,
but I'm impressed.
97
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,372
We'll also provide you
with a dynamic new body.
98
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,742
Ooh. Does everything work?
99
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,511
Everything
that works for you now.
100
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,746
Damn it! That's only two things.
101
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,749
And we top off the disguise
with a voice modulation chip.
102
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,851
Mr. Burns,
I'm gonna make you sound...
103
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,721
(deep voice):
hella different.
104
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,790
Oh, yeah.
105
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,292
Let's get to work.
(grunts)
106
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,628
(dramatic action music playing)
107
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,165
Oh, my God. It's extraordinary.
108
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,802
You now have the body and face
of a man half your age.
109
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,104
BURNS:
78? Now, enough gallimaufry.
110
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,405
I want to see my reflection.
111
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,073
Someone bring me
a mountain stream.
112
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,710
Say goodbye to Montgomery Burns.
113
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:14,815
Say hello to Fred Kranepool
from turbine maintenance.
114
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,483
(whirring)
115
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:19,052
(deep voice):
Excellent.
116
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,827
Hello, Joe. What do you know?
117
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,428
Just got back
from the picture show.
118
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,729
Beat it, weirdo.
119
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,198
You're fired.
120
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,666
You can't fire me.
121
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:35,068
HOMER:
Hey, newbie. Over here.
122
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:37,737
(chuckles)
Homer Simpson.
123
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,706
Fred. Uh...
124
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,241
No, that's not it.
125
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,344
Fred Kranepool.
126
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,113
You seem like a happy lot
here at the nuclear plant,
127
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,782
suckling from the teat
128
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,585
of the great
C. Montgomery Burns.
129
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,787
(laughs)
You said "teat."
130
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,290
(laughs)
Yes, I did, didn't I?
131
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,758
(chuckles)
Now that we're chums,
132
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,193
what's on your mind?
133
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,662
Any complaints?
Insubordinate remarks?
134
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,340
LENNY:
Actually, now that
you mention it...
135
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,199
- Yes...?
- (work whistle blows)
136
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,802
Uh‐oh. Better get back to work.
137
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,370
Ah, so soon?
138
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,305
(sighs) Sorry, but Mr. Burns
has a special way
139
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,074
of telling you
your lunchtime's over.
140
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,408
(hounds barking)
141
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,810
(screaming)
142
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,246
(growling)
143
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:20,647
I heard the craziest thing.
144
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,250
Some nuclear plants
don't have hounds chasing you.
145
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,051
Eh, different world.
146
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,120
(hounds snarling)
147
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,158
Huh. I guess when you're on
the other side of it,
148
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,427
releasing hounds can be cruel?
149
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:36,496
Oh, yeah. Super cruel.
150
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,603
I had to get rabies shots
in my stomach for a month.
151
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,201
Skipped the last couple.
152
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,537
Ugh, you poor guys.
Here, please.
153
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,173
Here's a Buffalo nickel
for each of you.
154
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,575
Hey, thanks a lot, man.
155
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,577
Why don't you join us
at Moe's tonight?
156
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,579
Moe's?
157
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,414
Yeah, it's that bar
that was featured
158
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,249
on I'll Drink
What Phil's Drinking
159
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,784
with Phil Rosenthal.
160
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,787
Mmm. What animal
is this egg from?
161
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,523
Uh, I want to say horse?
162
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,792
Oh. Could I be sick in this?
163
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,661
Oh...
(retching)
164
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:10,130
Somebody take Phil
to the hospital.
165
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,332
Fred, buddy, you coming?
166
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:15,135
I'm in.
Just need to signal Smithers.
167
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,137
(sultry action music playing)
168
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,580
(sighs)
I hate that signal.
169
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,683
Moe, this is our new pal Fred.
170
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:31,718
Apparently, we've been working
with him for years.
171
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,386
We never noticed.
172
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,588
Set him up with a beer. On me.
173
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,226
‐(shouts, wailing) ‐Fred!
174
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,662
(sighs)
Thank you, friend.
175
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,264
I like the way you said that,
176
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:47,734
like it was a foreign concept
or something.
177
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,604
(laughs)
You know,
178
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,074
it might be
John Barleycorn talking,
179
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,843
but you annoying fleas
aren't half bad.
180
00:07:56,910 --> 00:08:00,080
All we're looking for is
a little friendship and respect.
181
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,047
Mm‐hmm.
182
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,048
All right.
183
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,650
To friendship and respect.
184
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:07,020
And also evil.
I mean, I mean, football.
185
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,189
ALL:
Football!
186
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:12,058
(cackles)
187
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,561
Ah, whoa, whoa. Sorry, Barn.
Your seat's taken.
188
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,563
Oh, you show up late
189
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,466
for your nightly
bender just once...
190
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,034
Uh, don't you worry.
191
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,571
I just instituted
drive‐through service.
192
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,107
Drive safely.
193
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,309
♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪
194
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,112
♪ Why can't
we be friends? ♪
195
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,148
♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪
196
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,717
♪ Why can't
we be friends? ♪
197
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:42,355
♪ I see you
'round for a long, long time ♪
198
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,490
♪ (laughter) ♪
199
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,226
♪ I remember you ♪
200
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,695
♪ When you drink my wine ♪
201
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,230
♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪
202
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:53,433
♪ Why can't
we be friends? ♪
203
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,835
♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪
204
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:59,406
♪ Why can't
we be friends? ♪
205
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,541
Thank you. Thank you very much.
206
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,543
Okay, um,
your turn to sing, Fred.
207
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,512
(chanting):
Fred! Fred! Fred!
208
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,480
(chuckles)
Very well.
209
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,016
I've got a toe‐tapper
everyone can sing along with,
210
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,452
"The Spaniard That Blighted
My Life."
211
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,455
"The Spaniard That Blighted
My Life," BLH1493. Go.
212
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:18,525
♪ List to me, while I tell you ♪
213
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,360
♪ Of the Spaniard
that blighted my life... ♪
214
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,561
Everybody!
215
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,164
♪ List to me, while I tell you ♪
216
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:28,034
♪ Of the man that pinched
my future wife. ♪
217
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:32,505
BURNS:
Those idiots like me
for me, Fred Kranepool.
218
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,040
Uh, sir, I'm worried.
219
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,508
The suit just detected
a heartbeat.
220
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,644
- I'm turning you off.
- (clicks)
221
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,746
- Other button, sir.
- Shut up.
222
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,489
Where is he?
223
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,291
I'm supposed to read him
his bedtime story.
224
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,495
Smithers, what are you
still doing up?
225
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,098
I was worried about you, sir.
226
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,535
Worried? Eh.
227
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,338
I just had the greatest night
of my life.
228
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,674
- With my friends.
- What?
229
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,509
Oh, you should've
seen it, Smithers.
230
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,544
They enjoyed my company.
231
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,347
I've had "frenemies," but
they were all French enemies.
232
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,217
Never a friend.
233
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,519
I think of you
as more than a friend, sir.
234
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:20,896
What did I tell you
about thinking?
235
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,289
(sighs)
Well, did you find anything out?
236
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,858
Any scuttlebutt from the union?
237
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:28,228
The only union that concerns me
now is the union of men.
238
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,230
What would you know about that?
239
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,231
(grumbles)
240
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,432
(Homer humming)
241
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,401
Where have you been?
You missed dinner.
242
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,471
There's this really cool new guy
at the plant.
243
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:42,275
You know what's cool is
spending time with your family.
244
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,477
- That's not cool.
- Yeah, Mom, it really isn't.
245
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,547
I agree with Mom
on everything but this.
246
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,482
I'm sorry. Definitely not cool.
247
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,151
Oh, all right, all right.
248
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:54,320
I just don't trust new people
in this town.
249
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,423
Like Lady Gaga?
She came, she inspired Lisa
250
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,126
and we never heard
from her again.
251
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,095
Who needs friends like that?
252
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,164
So, fellows,
253
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,432
what's on our
social agenda tonight?
254
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,235
More galivanting, I hope?
255
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,104
Well, we really should do
a little work.
256
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,439
Yeah. I have a whole inbox
of unsplit atoms
257
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,108
I haven't gotten to yet.
258
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,676
Fred, are these men
bothering you?
259
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,546
- Oh, back off, Smithers.
- ALL: Whoa!
260
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,448
I'll box your ears next time you
speak to me with such insolence.
261
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,551
Yes, sir.
262
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,719
Oh, my God.
263
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:29,122
You totally pwned him.
264
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,457
Hmm. I suppose I did pwn him.
265
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,126
I did.
266
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,761
Ugh, that was quite
the kerfuffle.
267
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,130
I better go take
a three‐hour nap.
268
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,341
No, no, wait. While Smithers
is off drowning his sorrows
269
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,869
in a pamplemousse Perrier,
Burns is unprotected.
270
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,446
This is the perfect time
for you to represent us
271
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,272
and hit the old skinflint up
272
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,483
for a decent benefits package.
273
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,375
Me, talk to Burns?
274
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,144
Oh, I wouldn't. I‐I couldn't.
275
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,746
He's got the sharpest mind
in all 46 states.
276
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,282
Hey, come on, please.
For your friends.
277
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,117
I won't let you down.
278
00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,286
(robotic):
You down, you down, you down.
279
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,124
I'll help you, friends.
280
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,759
FRED VOICE:
Don't you understand, Burns?
281
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,062
Without the workers,
this plant is nothing.
282
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,396
If you give them respect,
283
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,098
it comes back to you
a hundredfold.
284
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,334
(chuckles)
Respect the workers?
285
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,670
What next? Put batteries
in the smoke detectors?
286
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,440
Have you no heart?
287
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,075
I certainly do.
288
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,677
I'm not flooding this room
with mustard gas right now.
289
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:28,348
I'll give you a chance to tell
your buddies that you failed.
290
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,585
But then they might not
like me anymore.
291
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,688
You're right. Friendship
is something worth treasuring.
292
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,259
Boy, he's really raking Burns
over the coals.
293
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,303
Yeah, I like how they're not
interrupting each other.
294
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,429
- So polite.
- BURNS: Yes, spirits, yes.
295
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,465
I'll give them
everything they want.
296
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,134
- (exhales) He said...
- We heard everything.
297
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,869
Clearly it was
two people talking.
298
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,804
We got to spread the good news.
299
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:55,475
We love you, big guy.
(grunts)
300
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:58,111
Mr. Burns, what have you done?
301
00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:00,179
There is no Mr. Burns.
302
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,081
Only Fred.
303
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,148
What are you saying?
304
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,753
Montgomery Burns died
when I put on this suit.
305
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:08,554
And six other times this week.
306
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,057
Thank God for the new liver
and kidneys.
307
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,394
Wait up, guys!
Beers are on me!
308
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,762
I might have two tonight.
309
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:18,064
That's right: two sips!
310
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,133
(laughs)
311
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,137
Hope you're hungry, Homer.
312
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,140
I got up at 2:00 a. m. and
slow‐roasted a breakfast turkey.
313
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:29,342
Sorry, no time for food.
I got to get to work.
314
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,848
(squeaking)
315
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,251
When did Homer turn into someone
who wants to go into work?
316
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,219
Oh, no. It's in the air.
317
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:43,122
Now I want to go to school
and make something of myself.
318
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,258
Ooh.
(babbles musically)
319
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,260
Hey, work is amazing now.
320
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,196
A magical place where we get
what we deserve and more.
321
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,231
And it's all due to Fred.
322
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,134
Okay, so when are we gonna
meet this Fred?
323
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,203
Oh, you've already
met him, Marge,
324
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,706
in the smile on my face.
325
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,741
(whistling)
326
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,077
- (door closes)
- Should we tell him
it's a Saturday?
327
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:05,712
Eh, not yet.
328
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,247
At least we'll get some
of the roast turkey for once.
329
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,583
♪ I don't want to work ♪
330
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:14,821
♪ I want to bang
on the drum all day ♪
331
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,256
♪ I don't want to play ♪
332
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:21,160
♪ I just want to bang
on the drum all day ♪
333
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:23,730
♪ I don't want to work... ♪
334
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,532
♪ I want to bang
on the drum all day ♪
335
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,135
Hey, Homer. Look what Fred
made Burns give us
336
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,570
to handle plutonium.
337
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,739
Look at me. I'm Audrey Hepburn.
338
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,545
Lenny Leonard,
you have exquisite vision
339
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,813
and you know it.
Give me those.
340
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,783
Oh, I don't care what you think,
'cause Fred doesn't like you.
341
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,585
And once Fred gets around to it,
342
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:48,121
you ain't gonna be
working here no more.
343
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,126
I've had enough.
Simpson, come with me.
344
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:54,360
What the...?
345
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,263
There's something
you don't know about
346
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,698
your good friend Fred.
347
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,700
I know everything I need to know
348
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:04,103
about Fred whatshisname
from wherever he comes.
349
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:12,178
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
350
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,480
That's right. Fred is Mr. Burns.
351
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,649
But wait a minute.
Isn't that a good thing?
352
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,551
It means he's nice to us now.
353
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,586
His niceness is gonna
put us out of business.
354
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,189
These giveaways
are bankrupting us.
355
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,400
What should we give
our friends next, Fred?
356
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,193
Morning yoga? Irish brides?
357
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,695
Okay, maybe the yoga
is going too far.
358
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,230
It's all too far.
359
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,441
We're gonna go the way
of the Sears catalog
360
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,066
and 20th Century Fox.
361
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:38,171
Are you sure this isn't
because you miss the old Burns?
362
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,673
Of course I miss him.
Who wouldn't?
363
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,442
Simpson, if you care
about your job,
364
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,243
and the jobs of everyone
in this plant,
365
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,412
you'll end your friendship
with Mr. Burns.
366
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,414
- Permanently.
- No problem.
367
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,616
As long as I'm still friends
with Fred.
368
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,585
Burns is Fred.
369
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,588
Wha...? Oh, he is not.
370
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,795
- What's wrong, Homie?
- Mm, not much.
371
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:06,165
I lost a friend today because
Burns stepped out of him.
372
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,167
- What?
- Well, let's just say
373
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,378
I can't be
friends with Fred anymore
374
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,070
but I don't know
how to tell him.
375
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,572
Well, don't ask me.
I suck at it.
376
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,173
That's why I can't shake
Milhouse.
377
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,242
I'm right here, Bart.
378
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,344
Our sleepover ended
two days ago.
379
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,546
I'll call my mom again.
380
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,615
♪ ♪
381
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,724
- Hey, Fred.
- Ahoy‐hoy.
382
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,227
Listen, Fred, we can't really
hang out with you anymore.
383
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:38,564
No offense. I mean, it's just
that I got to focus on work.
384
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,603
My console's
under here somewhere.
385
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,137
Hey, Fred!
386
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:46,364
- The man of the hour.
- Oh...
387
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,774
We were just working
on a list of new things
388
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,776
you can get
Old Man Burns to give us.
389
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,212
What do you mean
"Old Man Burns"?
390
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:55,248
(laughs)
I mean, he's so old.
391
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,183
Fossilized scarecrow.
392
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:01,320
You know, I've never seen Fred
and Burns at the same time.
393
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,623
Which means you must
hate Burns, too.
394
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,526
Ooh, well, we‐we don't
really hate him.
395
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,194
Mr. Burns is a withered
old corn husk
396
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,162
with a rotten apple for a head,
397
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,573
and I'm getting special clogs
made up
398
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,199
so I can Riverdance
on his grave.
399
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,268
(babbles musically)
400
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,738
You ungrateful jackals.
401
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,640
Smithers,
where's the kill button?
402
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,475
Um, there isn't one, sir.
403
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,477
How many times have I told you,
404
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,579
everything must have
a kill button?
405
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:29,181
Unhand me, you ape!
406
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,584
Why am I always referred to
as an ape?
407
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,220
Never a gorilla or an orangutan.
408
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,389
Aw, monkey want a banana?
409
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:40,226
(grunts)
Why, you incredibly complex...
410
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,563
(crying):
I‐I thought
411
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,131
you were
412
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,732
my friends.
413
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,102
Huh. Someone's having a day.
414
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,138
♪ ♪
415
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,174
Fred, you traitor.
416
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,109
You've turned my employees
against me.
417
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:59,145
Yeah, but they love me.
418
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,147
And soon, there'll be no you.
419
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,215
Just Fred!
420
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,055
♪ ♪
421
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:13,025
As all my attorneys keep
telling me, why won't you die?
422
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,495
Because I'm the last spark
of goodness in you.
423
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,564
It can't be extinguished!
424
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,533
I'm glad I went to the bathroom
in you.
425
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,068
En garde.
426
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,106
(grunts)
427
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:32,712
(straining):
Die, die. D‐Die, die.
428
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,581
It's okay, Mr. Burns.
Fred's gone.
429
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:39,418
Oh, why can't I be loved
and feared?
430
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:41,587
- Like God?
- Why?
431
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,056
Because you're the boss,
we're the workers.
432
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,058
It goes back to caveman days.
433
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,061
Ten guys killed the mammoth
while the boss yelled at them.
434
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,431
Then the boss got all the meat
and they got all the toenails.
435
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:56,369
Because that's the way
life works.
436
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,105
Next came the Renaissance, and
the invention of the time clock,
437
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,507
which meant the boss
no longer had to waste time
438
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,075
checking on his employees
439
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,378
and could become pope
and marry his sister.
440
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:09,649
With recent times came unions
and workers' rights.
441
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:13,052
Which were then taken away
in even more recent times.
442
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,520
Wrap it up, Homer.
443
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,022
That catwalk
is starting to buckle.
444
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,157
(metal creaking)
445
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,493
My point is, no matter what,
Mr. Burns,
446
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:24,096
the boss sucks,
so why shouldn't you?
447
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,732
‐(blows raspberry) ‐Why indeed.
448
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,168
Back to work,
and everything nice is canceled.
449
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:31,570
- Um, does that include...
- If you have to ask,
450
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,039
it's canceled.
451
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,374
And Fred, the man
I could've been,
452
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,811
I consign to the fires of hell.
453
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,582
(screeches)
454
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,118
Somebody stop it.
No, no, no, too late.
455
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,155
- Oh, poor Fred.
- It's a costume, you idiot.
456
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,357
A lot of work goes into those.
457
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,659
- Good to have you back, sir.
- (chuckles)
458
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,227
Good to‐‐ Oh, Smithers.
459
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,596
I left my car fob in that suit.
Go get it.
460
00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:59,598
But that's certain death, sir.
461
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:03,502
- Yes, but for you.
- You're back.
462
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,671
Or am I?
463
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:12,411
Attention, everyone.
464
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:14,213
This is your new coworker
Don Phoneyman.
465
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,082
Please show him the ropes.
466
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,084
I'm not going through this
again. Come on.
467
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,386
We know it's you, Mr. Burns,
and we'll prove it.
468
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,855
Release the hounds.
They won't touch you.
469
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,124
(barking)
470
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,126
Well, what do you know?
He's real.
471
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,695
I didn't know we could
call the hounds.
472
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,597
We can also operate
the trapdoor.
473
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,200
(receding):
I'll get you for this!
474
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,385
Engage karaoke mode.
475
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:56,555
♪ List to me while I tell you ♪
476
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,225
♪ Of the Spaniard
that blighted my life ♪
477
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,096
♪ List to me, while I tell you ♪
478
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,399
♪ Of the man that
pinched my future wife. ♪
479
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,222
Shh!
480
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,127
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH