1 00:00:09,987 --> 00:00:11,657 D'oh! 2 00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:24,415 ♪ Gather round, me buckos ♪ 3 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,554 ♪ A story I will tell ♪ 4 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,390 ♪ Of a woman named Lily ♪ 5 00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:30,562 ♪ Who cast quite a spell ♪ 6 00:00:30,628 --> 00:00:32,799 ♪ It started back in Britain ♪ 7 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,937 ♪ It started in a pub... ♪ 8 00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:36,707 (overlapping shouting) 9 00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:39,312 - She's mine. - It's my birthday. 10 00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:41,316 She's mine. 11 00:00:41,382 --> 00:00:42,919 (bagpipes honking) 12 00:00:42,986 --> 00:00:45,692 I can't be the cause of this. 13 00:00:45,758 --> 00:00:47,562 - I'm leaving. - MAN: Your fault! 14 00:00:47,629 --> 00:00:49,533 ‐(grunts) ‐(groans) 15 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,572 ♪ We were fighting over Lily using knife, fork and club. ♪ 16 00:00:52,639 --> 00:00:55,310 That's all I got. The rest will be spoken word. 17 00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:57,983 (guitar plays melody) 18 00:00:58,049 --> 00:00:59,519 Lily gets why we're here. 19 00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:01,255 Life is supposed to be fun. 20 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,059 I loved her. We all loved her. 21 00:01:03,126 --> 00:01:06,399 The way gophers love that sweet, sweet poison. 22 00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:11,910 Every man wanted her for the greatest reason there is. 23 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:14,015 Lily could make life fun. 24 00:01:14,081 --> 00:01:15,551 ♪ ♪ 25 00:01:17,522 --> 00:01:20,628 Now everyone, hold hands with a stranger. 26 00:01:20,695 --> 00:01:22,374 - Oh, pleased to meet you. - (overlapping greetings) 27 00:01:22,398 --> 00:01:24,168 MAN: How delightful. 28 00:01:24,235 --> 00:01:26,205 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:26,272 --> 00:01:30,247 Lily! (giggling) 30 00:01:31,817 --> 00:01:35,223 - MAN: Good one, Lily. - (laughter, applause) 31 00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,804 (clock chiming) 32 00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:45,153 - (electricity crackles) - (cheering) 33 00:01:45,177 --> 00:01:46,345 MAN: Thanks, Lily! 34 00:01:46,412 --> 00:01:47,782 Pub's back open! 35 00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:50,420 But like The Beatles and balmy weather, 36 00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,692 she was too hot for England to handle. 37 00:01:52,759 --> 00:01:56,099 I find you far too alluring for the average Englishman 38 00:01:56,165 --> 00:02:00,842 and banish you to Britain's penal colony, America. 39 00:02:03,547 --> 00:02:05,450 This is your captain speaking. 40 00:02:05,518 --> 00:02:08,056 - Will you date me? - Sorry. No. 41 00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:11,630 Uh, okay. I'm experiencing some emotional turbulence. 42 00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:13,333 My life is pathetic. 43 00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:16,640 Going back and forth, back and forth. 44 00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:19,679 (crying): I don't want to live anymore. 45 00:02:19,746 --> 00:02:24,288 WILLIE: Even the most glamorous movie stars of Hollywood bored her. 46 00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:27,161 Oh, farewell, Leo. You're a lovely boy, 47 00:02:27,227 --> 00:02:30,968 but my heart isn't some CGI bear for you to conquer. 48 00:02:31,035 --> 00:02:33,574 But I've completely opened myself up to you. 49 00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:36,012 I even admitted I play the same guy in every role. 50 00:02:36,078 --> 00:02:37,381 Marry me! 51 00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:39,051 Oh, maybe I should go back to England. 52 00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,155 No. Give this country a chance. 53 00:02:41,222 --> 00:02:42,826 Don't judge us by Hollywood. 54 00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:44,563 All right, but I'm leaving now, dear. 55 00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:45,932 You'll have to content yourself 56 00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:48,269 with generic supermodels, I'm afraid. 57 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,842 Nothing ever works out for me. 58 00:02:51,777 --> 00:02:53,313 WILLIE: She needed to get away. 59 00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,016 Somewhere. Anywhere. 60 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,920 So she threw a dart. 61 00:02:56,987 --> 00:02:58,891 Hmm, what's next? 62 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:01,897 ♪ ♪ 63 00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:06,205 WILLIE: So she headed to Springfield, 64 00:03:06,272 --> 00:03:09,211 little knowing that its men had the lowest testosterone, 65 00:03:09,278 --> 00:03:12,719 not counting the Columbia University football team. 66 00:03:12,785 --> 00:03:16,425 Lily wanted peace, but the best‐laid plans... 67 00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:18,162 (babbles) 68 00:03:18,229 --> 00:03:20,433 Can't understand me? Too bad. 69 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,337 I'm your narrator. 70 00:03:22,404 --> 00:03:24,174 Do not tell me... 71 00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:26,445 (babbling) 72 00:03:27,347 --> 00:03:28,884 Hmm. 73 00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:31,823 The only thing worse than when you guys yap 74 00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:33,861 is you sitting here all quiet and sullen. 75 00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:36,600 I ain't sullen, I'm lachrymose. 76 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:39,973 Oh, why did I give him that stupid word‐a‐day calendar? 77 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,377 Hmm. Impulsinicity? 78 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:44,749 Uh, excuse me, there, lady, 79 00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,720 but, uh, this is a man's bar. 80 00:03:46,787 --> 00:03:50,995 And I'd like a man's drink. Bourbon, neat, in a dirty glass. 81 00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:52,665 You got it. Whoa. 82 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,003 Just got to look up what "neat" means. 83 00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:58,109 I just don't understand. 84 00:03:58,176 --> 00:03:59,746 Understand what? 85 00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:02,150 What's a pub without a song? 86 00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:07,194 ♪ At the pub at the crossroads, there's whiskey and beer... ♪ 87 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,298 There are songs about drinking? 88 00:04:09,365 --> 00:04:13,974 ♪ There's brandy, strong cognac that's aging for years ♪ 89 00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:18,316 ♪ But for killing the thirst and for easing the gout ♪ 90 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,592 ♪ There's nothing at all beats a pint of good stout ♪ 91 00:04:22,658 --> 00:04:25,664 ♪ Pint of good stout. ♪ 92 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,369 Oh, what's that I hear you asking? 93 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,939 Where are the Simpsons? 94 00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:32,512 Haven't you heard enough about the bloody Simpsons 95 00:04:32,578 --> 00:04:34,682 to last a thousand lifetimes? 96 00:04:34,749 --> 00:04:36,653 Well, I guess not. 97 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,427 So, Homer is about to receive an unpleasant surprise. 98 00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:42,799 What a great day. 99 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,270 I've never been so happy. 100 00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:48,109 Nothing can ruin it. Nothing. 101 00:04:48,176 --> 00:04:49,579 What? Where you going? 102 00:04:49,646 --> 00:04:51,248 On our vacation, remember? 103 00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:53,720 My aunt's letting us use her home at the Vineyard 104 00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:56,192 for three weeks, rent‐free. 105 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,829 How come I'm not coming? 106 00:04:57,895 --> 00:05:00,066 Well, that was her one condition. 107 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,770 D'oh! 108 00:05:01,837 --> 00:05:04,341 Aw, I'm gonna miss you all so much. 109 00:05:04,408 --> 00:05:05,945 Well, at least I'll have the dog. 110 00:05:06,011 --> 00:05:09,051 Sorry, Dad. We put the pets with Mr. Flanders 111 00:05:09,118 --> 00:05:12,124 because, well, we knew he'd take care of them. 112 00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:13,359 (whistling) 113 00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:15,798 - Come to papa. - (barking, meowing) 114 00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:17,502 (grunts) Good, good. 115 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,704 Make‐believe you love him. 116 00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:21,676 - Flanders, I love you! - D'oh! 117 00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:24,682 We're staying at my Aunt Edith's house at Hyannibunkport. 118 00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:27,688 It's south of Squibagansett, east of Codtucket, 119 00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:29,592 next to Little Crabkill Bog. 120 00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:32,230 Those are great names. You'll never want to leave. 121 00:05:32,297 --> 00:05:35,704 I'm gonna keep you in my sight as long as I can. 122 00:05:37,742 --> 00:05:39,444 - ♪ ♪ - (thunder rumbles) 123 00:05:45,156 --> 00:05:46,593 (horn honking) 124 00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:49,732 We love you! Stop following! 125 00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:51,302 (fading): Okay. 126 00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:53,039 (horn honks) 127 00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:56,880 (buzzing) 128 00:05:56,947 --> 00:06:00,854 ♪ ...drink it up, then throw me out the door ♪ 129 00:06:00,921 --> 00:06:02,792 ♪ I've traveled in England ♪ 130 00:06:02,858 --> 00:06:05,396 ♪ I've traveled in France ♪ 131 00:06:05,463 --> 00:06:10,507 ♪ At a hint of good music, I'll sing or I'll dance ♪ 132 00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:15,884 ♪ So hear me, then, mister, and pour me one more... ♪ 133 00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:17,622 Gentlemen... 134 00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:22,030 ♪ If I can't drink it up, then throw me out the door. ♪ 135 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:25,169 (laughter) 136 00:06:25,236 --> 00:06:27,742 You have to seize life and relish every minute. 137 00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:29,612 Eliminate all sorrow. 138 00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:32,183 Open a bloody window. 139 00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:34,054 ♪ Hallelujah. ♪ 140 00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:36,158 Okay, okay, that's enough of that. 141 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,766 (Satanic music plays) 142 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,137 ♪ Hallelujah. ♪ 143 00:06:42,203 --> 00:06:44,074 (Satanic music plays) 144 00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,811 - ♪ Ha... ♪ - (Satanic music plays) 145 00:06:45,878 --> 00:06:48,416 Hey, Lily, you like suspenders? 'Cause I got them. 146 00:06:48,482 --> 00:06:51,523 Well, I hope you don't mind if I give them a wee snap. 147 00:06:51,589 --> 00:06:54,227 - (laughs softly) - Ooh! Intimacy. 148 00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:58,135 Lily, you've transformed this dump into a joint. Bless you. 149 00:06:58,202 --> 00:06:59,772 (crying) 150 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:02,177 (moans sadly) 151 00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:04,982 - ♪ ♪ - (gasps) 152 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,920 (sighs) 153 00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:11,730 Who are you? 154 00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:14,167 - Homer Simpson. - You know, Homer, 155 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,675 I've never met a man who didn't offer me his chair or his beer. 156 00:07:17,742 --> 00:07:19,812 - You have now. - So, tell me, 157 00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:21,382 what's wrong with you? 158 00:07:21,448 --> 00:07:22,785 Mm, it's personal. 159 00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:25,791 Tell me. Maybe I can lighten your load. 160 00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:28,663 - My family left me for three weeks. - No. 161 00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:30,901 The dog and cat are with Flanders. 162 00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:32,170 Oh! 163 00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:34,842 I'm alone. I don't know what to do. 164 00:07:36,646 --> 00:07:39,050 You have to have a good time for their sake, 165 00:07:39,117 --> 00:07:41,388 because if you don't, they'll feel guilty 166 00:07:41,455 --> 00:07:42,558 and never forgive you. 167 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:44,227 And you'll never forgive them, 168 00:07:44,294 --> 00:07:46,566 because they're causing you the misery. 169 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,469 And you'll all be buried in dirty laundry 170 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:51,275 with squealing kids for the rest of your days. 171 00:07:51,341 --> 00:07:52,878 Wow. Wow. 172 00:07:52,945 --> 00:07:56,719 You're the smartest woman I've ever met in my life. 173 00:07:56,786 --> 00:07:58,255 Except one. 174 00:07:59,224 --> 00:08:00,761 Shut the window! 175 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,397 But then everything smells like you. 176 00:08:02,464 --> 00:08:05,002 ‐(both grunting) ‐Take that. 177 00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:07,240 (phone ringing) 178 00:08:10,714 --> 00:08:15,791 ♪ Anticipation ♪ 179 00:08:15,858 --> 00:08:21,836 ♪ Anticipation is making me late... ♪ 180 00:08:21,903 --> 00:08:23,840 Welcome to our tour of the Vineyard. 181 00:08:23,907 --> 00:08:27,581 This is where Steven Spielberg shot Jaws. 182 00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,251 That's the end of our tour. 183 00:08:29,317 --> 00:08:31,689 Now, my aunt's house is only eight miles away. 184 00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:34,996 But we just have to make it before sundown. 185 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:42,477 Uh, Mom, I think you've gone off the road. 186 00:08:42,545 --> 00:08:44,481 Whoa, watch out for that deer! 187 00:08:44,549 --> 00:08:45,751 (gasps) 188 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,723 - That was close. - (shouts) More deer! 189 00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:52,397 (thudding, tires screeching) 190 00:08:52,463 --> 00:08:54,034 (sighs) We're here. 191 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,305 ‐(thunder crashes) ‐(groans) 192 00:08:56,371 --> 00:08:57,908 - (laughter) - CARL: Your turn, Lily. 193 00:08:57,975 --> 00:09:00,112 (clicking, beeping) 194 00:09:00,179 --> 00:09:01,950 (fanfare plays) 195 00:09:02,016 --> 00:09:03,016 (moans) 196 00:09:03,052 --> 00:09:06,224 I miss them. I miss them. 197 00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:09,999 It's been so long. No one to comfort me. 198 00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:14,709 Put your mobile away, because I'm gonna sing in German. 199 00:09:14,775 --> 00:09:17,748 ♪ Vor der Kaserne ♪ 200 00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:20,152 ♪ Vor dem grossen Tor ♪ 201 00:09:20,219 --> 00:09:22,758 ♪ Stand eine Laterne ♪ 202 00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:25,196 ♪ Und steht sie noch davor... ♪ 203 00:09:25,262 --> 00:09:27,901 This is like that beautiful scene in Sound of Music 204 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,807 when all the Nazis sang good night. 205 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:35,684 ♪ Wie einst Lili Marleen ♪ 206 00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,655 ♪ Wie einst ♪ 207 00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:40,761 ♪ Lili Marleen. ♪ 208 00:09:42,363 --> 00:09:45,169 If you're done singing, can we turn up the game? 209 00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:50,714 (gasps, cries) 210 00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:52,718 ‐(crying) ‐What's wrong, lady? 211 00:09:52,785 --> 00:09:54,789 We miss you inside. 212 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,559 A good bloke who never had a break, 213 00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:57,828 and now has a broken spirit. 214 00:09:57,895 --> 00:09:59,832 He's lost and lonely, 215 00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,838 and really doesn't give a fig about me. 216 00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:06,144 - I'm in love. - I love him, too. 217 00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:07,815 (both sigh) 218 00:10:12,891 --> 00:10:14,194 Okay. The sun is shining. 219 00:10:14,260 --> 00:10:17,467 (exhales) I can finally read my book. 220 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,270 (seabird chirping) 221 00:10:19,337 --> 00:10:23,045 Hello, nature. Time to meet your death. 222 00:10:23,947 --> 00:10:26,652 ♪ ♪ 223 00:10:26,719 --> 00:10:28,623 (gasps) Bart, those are tick bites! 224 00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:30,159 You'll get Lyme disease. 225 00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:32,163 Why didn't somebody warn me? 226 00:10:34,602 --> 00:10:38,041 ‐(Marge grunts) ‐(groans) 227 00:10:39,712 --> 00:10:41,047 Get me a priest. 228 00:10:41,114 --> 00:10:43,787 Mom, I always liked you. 229 00:10:43,853 --> 00:10:45,524 Oh, honey, try to relax. 230 00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:46,926 Watch Itchy & Scratchy! 231 00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:49,330 I am itchy and scratchy. 232 00:10:49,397 --> 00:10:51,502 Meanwhile, Homer little dreamed that... 233 00:10:51,569 --> 00:10:54,073 Willie! Do you think it would kill you to rake and talk? 234 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:56,211 Would you rather I tell the story 235 00:10:56,278 --> 00:10:58,817 about what's under these leaves and dirt? 236 00:10:58,883 --> 00:11:00,252 (Skinner groans) 237 00:11:00,319 --> 00:11:02,891 Oh. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Carry on. 238 00:11:02,958 --> 00:11:04,294 (chuckles nervously) 239 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,899 Getting back, Lily continued to light up 240 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:10,206 all the men's lives, except Homer's. 241 00:11:11,007 --> 00:11:12,243 BOTH: Lily! 242 00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:13,145 Gentlemen. 243 00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:14,915 I made you all picnic lunches. 244 00:11:14,982 --> 00:11:15,982 - Yeah! - Wow! 245 00:11:16,017 --> 00:11:16,953 It's British food. 246 00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:17,921 BOTH: Oh... 247 00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:20,092 Post‐1990 British food. 248 00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:21,428 BOTH: Yes! 249 00:11:21,494 --> 00:11:23,498 ♪ ♪ 250 00:11:26,672 --> 00:11:29,578 Smithers, that woman has captivated me, 251 00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:30,947 which, if memory serves, 252 00:11:31,014 --> 00:11:33,051 is an early state of physical arousal. 253 00:11:33,118 --> 00:11:34,655 Sir, we've been through this before 254 00:11:34,722 --> 00:11:37,594 with several women and one very shapely tree. 255 00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:39,097 I feel a tingle I haven't felt 256 00:11:39,163 --> 00:11:40,877 since they took the cocaine out of Coca‐Cola. 257 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,671 I must woo her. 258 00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:44,508 And Simpson's my way in. 259 00:11:44,575 --> 00:11:46,512 Have him ask her on a date on my boat 260 00:11:46,579 --> 00:11:48,683 which will actually be a date with me. 261 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,722 But, sir, why not have me ask her directly? 262 00:11:51,789 --> 00:11:53,358 (laughs) As if I could trust you 263 00:11:53,425 --> 00:11:54,929 to keep your hands off a lady. 264 00:11:54,995 --> 00:11:57,868 (forced chuckle) How well you know me, sir. 265 00:11:57,935 --> 00:12:00,105 ♪ ♪ 266 00:12:02,109 --> 00:12:04,247 HOMER: Uh‐oh. 267 00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:07,186 Very good, Maggie! 268 00:12:07,253 --> 00:12:09,992 Now we can cook them. Num‐num! 269 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,839 (horn blares) 270 00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:18,408 Who are all those people? 271 00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:20,847 It's the weekenders from Falmouth. 272 00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,116 (horn blares) 273 00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:23,586 It's almost here. 274 00:12:23,653 --> 00:12:26,559 And raise the prices... 275 00:12:33,973 --> 00:12:35,577 ...now! 276 00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:43,258 Clam strips and beer! 277 00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:45,295 MAN: Black Dog mousepads! 278 00:12:45,362 --> 00:12:46,675 - MAN 2: Over here! - MAN 3: T‐shirts! 279 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:49,070 MAN 4: CDs by James Taylor's brother! 280 00:12:51,575 --> 00:12:53,178 - Hyah! - Hyah! 281 00:12:53,245 --> 00:12:55,784 ALL: Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! 282 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:58,188 That's it! We're going home. 283 00:13:00,827 --> 00:13:04,635 Everyone was innocently falling into Burns's trap. 284 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:09,545 And trouble brewed as Lily offered a perverse prayer. 285 00:13:09,611 --> 00:13:11,481 - ♪ ♪ - (seabird screeching) 286 00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:13,051 (bell dings) 287 00:13:13,853 --> 00:13:14,788 LILY: Forgive me, Lord. 288 00:13:14,855 --> 00:13:16,124 I must have Homer. 289 00:13:16,191 --> 00:13:18,195 Please let me win him, even briefly. 290 00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:20,900 It would be like having a lover and a child 291 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,604 at the same time. 292 00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,244 Hey, Lily. How you doin'? 293 00:13:26,311 --> 00:13:28,783 Homer! I'm so glad you asked me to meet you here. 294 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,452 Thanks, I'm glad you feel that way. 295 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,223 But there's something I didn't tell you. 296 00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,661 Uh... you're on a date with my boss. 297 00:13:34,728 --> 00:13:35,830 That's my boat. 298 00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:38,201 ♪ ♪ 299 00:13:38,268 --> 00:13:40,305 My name is Montgomery Burns. 300 00:13:40,372 --> 00:13:43,946 I'm the richest and therefore most attractive man in town. 301 00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:45,115 Okay, see ya. 302 00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:46,619 Wait, wait, wait, Mr. Burns! 303 00:13:46,685 --> 00:13:49,190 Surely a venerable gentleman such as yourself 304 00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:51,261 would know that I need a chaperone. 305 00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:53,465 Of course. Simpson, join us. 306 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,070 Smithers, cue my weapon of woo. 307 00:13:57,173 --> 00:14:00,947 ♪ ♪ 308 00:14:01,849 --> 00:14:04,086 I know a shortcut. 309 00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:11,835 HOMER: Why am I staring at her? 310 00:14:11,902 --> 00:14:13,973 I'll make my eyes look at something else. 311 00:14:19,283 --> 00:14:21,221 Oh, my God. 312 00:14:21,287 --> 00:14:23,225 I'm smiling back. 313 00:14:26,331 --> 00:14:29,003 I hope you enjoyed your dinner. (chuckles) 314 00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,508 And just wait till we get to dessert. 315 00:14:31,575 --> 00:14:33,144 You make me feel like I'm having dinner 316 00:14:33,211 --> 00:14:34,848 with a James Bond villain. 317 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,017 (chuckles) 318 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,253 She gets me. 319 00:14:37,319 --> 00:14:39,423 Now, wink for me, Smithers. 320 00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:43,498 (chuckling) 321 00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,241 (sighs) What am I doing here? 322 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,788 HOMER: What have I done to this wonderful woman? 323 00:14:54,855 --> 00:14:57,159 How can I make it up to her? 324 00:14:58,696 --> 00:14:59,931 I'm sorry. 325 00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:01,301 Why did you bring me here? 326 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,637 Fear of unemployment. 327 00:15:02,704 --> 00:15:05,543 Um, let's just stay through dessert. 328 00:15:07,313 --> 00:15:09,250 Look at me! I'm Gypsy Rose Lee! 329 00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:12,156 You and me and my cardiologist make three! 330 00:15:12,222 --> 00:15:14,427 Sorry, I have to leave right now. 331 00:15:14,493 --> 00:15:15,630 Oh. But why? 332 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:18,602 I just spilled a glass of wine on myself. 333 00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,172 Also, this bottle. 334 00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:22,309 Homer, let's go. 335 00:15:23,813 --> 00:15:24,881 Whoa. 336 00:15:24,948 --> 00:15:26,585 That was awful. 337 00:15:26,652 --> 00:15:28,288 There's some people that make you feel 338 00:15:28,355 --> 00:15:30,425 being lonely isn't so bad. 339 00:15:30,492 --> 00:15:32,429 And there are people that make you 340 00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,033 never want to be lonely again. 341 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,037 (laughs) I hear ya. 342 00:15:36,104 --> 00:15:37,406 And I almost understand ya. 343 00:15:37,473 --> 00:15:39,043 Thank God you were there to save me. 344 00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:40,479 That's what I'm best at: 345 00:15:40,546 --> 00:15:42,617 saving people from things I get them into. 346 00:15:42,684 --> 00:15:44,453 (giggles) You've got a little cake 347 00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:45,923 on the corner of your mouth. 348 00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:47,092 Oh, I do? Where? 349 00:15:47,159 --> 00:15:48,461 - Just here. - There? 350 00:15:48,529 --> 00:15:49,865 - Just there. - Oh‐‐ Where? 351 00:15:49,931 --> 00:15:51,802 - Right there? - Just‐‐ You're missing it. 352 00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,304 - There? - Just to the... 353 00:15:53,371 --> 00:15:55,375 - Oh, just let me do it. - Okay. 354 00:15:56,745 --> 00:15:58,248 You can stop now. 355 00:15:58,314 --> 00:16:01,053 Uh... I meant go slow. 356 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,524 Uh, wait a minute, wait. 357 00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,661 While you're there, could you get the upper lip? 358 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,336 (laughs softly) Oh, my God, 359 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,907 what am I going to do with you? 360 00:16:10,973 --> 00:16:11,909 Please, nothing. 361 00:16:11,975 --> 00:16:14,013 I'm taking you home now. 362 00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:18,354 ♪ ♪ 363 00:16:29,811 --> 00:16:32,550 Well, aren't you going to walk me in? 364 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,119 (whimpers) 365 00:16:34,186 --> 00:16:35,823 Look, Lily. 366 00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,392 You're the most... Um... 367 00:16:37,459 --> 00:16:38,662 Finish that thought. 368 00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:40,169 You're the most anything of any woman 369 00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:41,635 I've ever known except for my wife. 370 00:16:41,702 --> 00:16:43,839 Who I loved‐‐ I mean love! I said "love!" 371 00:16:43,906 --> 00:16:44,841 Oh, that's beautiful. 372 00:16:44,908 --> 00:16:46,244 Thank you. 373 00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:48,448 But give me one damn proper kiss goodbye. 374 00:16:48,516 --> 00:16:49,784 No. 375 00:16:50,786 --> 00:16:52,356 ♪ ♪ 376 00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:54,159 (Homer whimpering) 377 00:16:54,226 --> 00:16:56,565 (moaning) 378 00:17:00,071 --> 00:17:01,608 No. No! 379 00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:02,710 This is good, 380 00:17:02,777 --> 00:17:04,480 but is it worth burning in hell forever? 381 00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:06,217 We'll see each other in our dreams, 382 00:17:06,284 --> 00:17:07,520 whether you like it or not. 383 00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,256 You stay out of my dreams! 384 00:17:09,323 --> 00:17:11,127 All my stuff's in there! 385 00:17:17,472 --> 00:17:19,512 Gotta stay awake. If I dream of Lily, it's all over. 386 00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:24,153 Gotta stay awake. Gotta stay awake. 387 00:17:24,219 --> 00:17:25,756 Must not dream. 388 00:17:25,823 --> 00:17:29,564 Gotta stay awake. Gotta stay awake. 389 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:30,766 Oh, no. 390 00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,837 (snores) 391 00:17:32,904 --> 00:17:34,273 ♪ ♪ 392 00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:35,810 (giggles) 393 00:17:35,876 --> 00:17:38,281 You've got a little cake on the corner of your mouth. 394 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:41,153 - Homer? Homer? - (mutters) She's here. 395 00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:42,991 She's here and God help me, 396 00:17:43,057 --> 00:17:44,426 - I'm glad. - Homer. 397 00:17:44,493 --> 00:17:46,263 - Marge! - Surprise! 398 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:47,700 We came back early. 399 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,604 Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God! 400 00:17:49,671 --> 00:17:51,775 I'll never let you go a... 401 00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:52,610 (phone vibrates) 402 00:17:52,677 --> 00:17:54,213 Who's calling you so late? 403 00:17:54,848 --> 00:17:56,317 Telemarketer. 404 00:17:56,384 --> 00:17:57,954 Gotta take it. 405 00:17:58,021 --> 00:18:00,291 Those people are so sensitive. 406 00:18:02,697 --> 00:18:04,901 - Hello? - (falsetto): Wrong number! 407 00:18:04,968 --> 00:18:06,404 - Homer? - Damn it! 408 00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:08,842 - I need to see you now, Homer. - (whimpers) 409 00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:10,211 You know the address. 410 00:18:10,278 --> 00:18:12,416 Lovers Lane, just off Fidelity Avenue. 411 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,386 Listen. I have to tell you right now 412 00:18:14,453 --> 00:18:16,157 I can never see you again. 413 00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:17,894 Can you tell me in person? 414 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,296 Great idea. 415 00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:21,668 Keep me on the line. I'll guide you here. 416 00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:22,737 Ooh... 417 00:18:22,804 --> 00:18:24,808 You realize nothing's gonna happen. 418 00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:26,444 Of course. 419 00:18:26,511 --> 00:18:30,151 ♪ I promise you chocolate and kisses ♪ 420 00:18:30,218 --> 00:18:34,326 ♪ Martinis with lemon drops... ♪ 421 00:18:34,393 --> 00:18:36,297 ♪ ♪ 422 00:18:36,363 --> 00:18:38,234 No, feet! No! 423 00:18:38,301 --> 00:18:40,238 (sighs) 424 00:18:41,273 --> 00:18:42,777 ♪ I just woke up ♪ 425 00:18:42,844 --> 00:18:47,887 ♪ And made you pork chops... ♪ 426 00:18:49,557 --> 00:18:51,327 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 427 00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,364 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 428 00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:55,803 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 429 00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:58,174 - ♪ La, la, la ♪ - MARGE: ♪ La, la, la ♪ 430 00:18:58,241 --> 00:19:00,646 - LILY: ♪ La, la, la ♪ - MARGE: ♪ La, la, la ♪ 431 00:19:00,713 --> 00:19:03,184 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 432 00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:07,459 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 433 00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:10,833 ♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪ 434 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,335 Pork chops! 435 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,639 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 436 00:19:13,705 --> 00:19:15,609 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 437 00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:19,951 ♪ La, la, la. ♪ 438 00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:21,922 You're home. 439 00:19:21,988 --> 00:19:22,988 Yes, I am. 440 00:19:23,024 --> 00:19:24,226 And I'll never leave you. 441 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,963 There might be frequent interruptions. 442 00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:27,299 I may stop at Moe's, 443 00:19:27,365 --> 00:19:28,936 I may be watching the hot dogs spin 444 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,338 at the movie theater, 445 00:19:30,405 --> 00:19:33,745 or I may be picking a flower for you... 446 00:19:33,812 --> 00:19:36,852 but I will never, ever leave you. 447 00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:38,922 Aw, Homie. 448 00:19:41,795 --> 00:19:43,966 (sobbing) 449 00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:50,880 ANNOUNCER: Now boarding, non‐stop Springfield to London. 450 00:19:50,946 --> 00:19:52,449 Sorry, lady. 451 00:19:58,361 --> 00:19:59,396 How was America, dear? 452 00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:00,966 There's nothing there for me. 453 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,404 It's big, full of fried food, and heartbreaking... 454 00:20:03,471 --> 00:20:05,609 and that's just one man. 455 00:20:05,676 --> 00:20:08,281 There'll never be another like him. 456 00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:13,324 Buy you a drink, sweetheart? 457 00:20:13,391 --> 00:20:14,493 No. 458 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,829 Fancy a drink? 459 00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:16,631 No, thank you. 460 00:20:16,698 --> 00:20:18,434 Would you get‐‐ No. 461 00:20:18,502 --> 00:20:19,804 No. No thanks. 462 00:20:19,871 --> 00:20:20,871 Get off. 463 00:20:20,906 --> 00:20:22,777 BRITISH MAN: Buy you a corndog? 464 00:20:22,843 --> 00:20:25,783 (gasps) Yes! But first, are you married? 465 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,987 And would you shave off the mustache? 466 00:20:28,054 --> 00:20:30,592 Yes, and immediately. 467 00:20:31,393 --> 00:20:33,598 ♪ ♪ 468 00:21:23,932 --> 00:21:26,036 Shh!