1 00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,092 Ha! 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,466 - [panicked gobbling] - [sighs] 3 00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:09,574 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,054 [tires screech] 5 00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,228 [grunts] 6 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,841 You said you'd be home at 7:00. 7 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,583 Go sleep on the bed. [blows sharply] 8 00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:21,195 ♪ ♪ 9 00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,636 Oh, dear. [sighs] 10 00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:30,117 Oh, who am I kidding? 11 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,945 I will never have enough money to go to San Diego. 12 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,991 Oh, maybe next year. 13 00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:37,298 But how many "next years" do I have left? 14 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,995 Leave me. 15 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,302 I have no patience for buyers, sellers, 16 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,478 or parking meter quarter needers. 17 00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:46,176 I didn't drag this wagon full of garbage 18 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,178 to be yelled at by a talking circle! 19 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,180 Ouch. Yes. Well, touché. 20 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,008 Listen up, super size. 21 00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,705 I want to get rid of Seymour's toys 22 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:55,229 before he turns 60. 23 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:58,623 Oh, let's see, nothing of value, nothing of val-- 24 00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,190 Wait a minute. 25 00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:02,497 Oh, my God, this is why I nerd. 26 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:05,021 Yes! An original Radioactive Man doll. 27 00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:06,718 Hmm, mint in box, too. 28 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,939 Yes, I may have occasionally seen one of these. 29 00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:11,810 In my dreams! 30 00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:14,813 Yes, um, excuse me just for-for one moment. 31 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:19,818 [muffled]: I might make money! 32 00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,473 HULK HAND VOICE: Hulk smash! Hulk smash! 33 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:27,043 Three, two, sold! 34 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:30,525 At last, I can afford a trip to Comicalooza. 35 00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,702 Oh, but not enough money for my wife. 36 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,008 Mm. 37 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,923 Oh, what luck. And the first chance to wear 38 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,579 my Doctor Octopus costume since my uncle's funeral. 39 00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:44,539 It is happening! 40 00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,715 ♪ ♪ 41 00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,206 Mm. 42 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:00,859 Do you still have it? Do you? 43 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,557 I-I'm afraid not. 44 00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,515 It's on its way to a lucky collector 45 00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,561 who will enjoy not opening it. 46 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:09,041 - So sorry. - Damn you, Mother. 47 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,536 I haven't been this angry with you 48 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:12,262 since you enlisted me in the Marines. 49 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:15,874 Your draft number was too high. The suspense was killing me. 50 00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:17,572 ♪ ♪ 51 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:20,096 [humming] 52 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,186 [gasps] 53 00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:27,712 Who's the new guy? 54 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,717 A saxophone. [gasps] 55 00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,067 I wouldn't kick him out of the library 56 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,852 for ignoring my shush. 57 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,767 Could he be any cooler? 58 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:43,250 Oh, I'm gushing in the key of 59 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,903 [squeals]: E...! 60 00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,559 Okay, don't gaze at his eyes. 61 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,779 Don't stare at his smile. 62 00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,607 Don't talk out loud. 63 00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,783 - You know, I can hear you. - [screams] 64 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,480 Settle, children, settle. 65 00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,134 First, we have a new band member. 66 00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,136 Blake, raise your hand. 67 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,966 Second, we're having a chair challenge tomorrow. 68 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,490 Lisa Simpson will be playing to retain her seat. 69 00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:08,666 Your challenger is Blake. 70 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,191 Full disclosure, I'm pretty good. 71 00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,299 Well, I'm happy, 'cause whether I beat you or not, 72 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,934 - I'll get to sit next to you. - [nervous laugh] 73 00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:18,937 Stop with the blue eyes, will you? 74 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,288 Less meet-cute, more toot-toot. 75 00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,594 [band playing discordantly] 76 00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:26,771 Great. Now, keep playing. 77 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,185 I have a very important meeting in the instrument closet. 78 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:34,126 CBD gummies, take me away. 79 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,912 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 80 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,655 [entry bells jingle] 81 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:45,113 [imitating Marlon Brando]: "You come to me on the hay of my daughter's bedding 82 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:48,184 and make me an ostrich I can't refuse." 83 00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:49,664 Uh, who are you? 84 00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:50,838 [normal voice]: I'm Phil, 85 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,362 filling in for Comic Book Guy. 86 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:53,861 [imitating Comic Book Guy]: Also known as 87 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,279 the Snark Knight and Mean Lantern. 88 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,238 Stop being weird. 89 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,520 [normal voice]: I'm not being weird. I'm a voice-over artist. 90 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,372 I do voices for your favorite cartoons. 91 00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,113 [imitating Itchy]: Like Itchy the mouse. 92 00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:05,680 [high-pitched laugh] 93 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:08,987 I never dreamed real people did those voices. 94 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:11,207 I'm a little embarrassed to say this, 95 00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:13,862 but I do voices, too. 96 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,473 - [normal voice]: Oh? Like who? - Like this kid Nelson. 97 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:18,475 You don't know him, but he's all... 98 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,800 [imitating Nelson]: "Haw-haw," 99 00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,739 and, "Smell you later." 100 00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,828 - [grunts] - Haw-haw! 101 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,830 Smell you later. 102 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,484 Hey, you're pretty good. 103 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,530 And I do an awesome Todd Flanders, 104 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,304 but it's not worth meeting Todd Flanders. 105 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,534 - Do some more. - Well, how about... 106 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:36,034 [imitating Christopher Lloyd]: that guy from Back to the Future. 107 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:39,409 Kid, we've got to help your parents have sex. 108 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,213 - Do another. - [imitating Michael Caine]: All right, 109 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:44,240 I'll do Michael bloody Caine, if you don't mind. 110 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,547 If you want to live in my cider house, 111 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,940 there are some rules! 112 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:53,249 Wow, if I knew who that was, I would be even more impressed. 113 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,773 [saxophone playing jazz music] 114 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,733 Do you ever worry that Lisa tries too hard 115 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,909 and Bart doesn't try enough? 116 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,563 Marge, you know our deal. 117 00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:05,043 We don't mention the kids after 7:00. 118 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,610 Where is Bart, anyway? 119 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,569 He should have been home by now. 120 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,155 Can you call him? I've got to get started 121 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,963 on second dinner. 122 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,878 Boy, where are you? 123 00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,271 I'm hanging with a stranger. 124 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,969 He's got so many different personalities. 125 00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,928 Oh, will you be home before dark, yes or no? 126 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:21,625 What am I, a Magic 8-Ball? 127 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,192 Sounds great. 128 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,108 Looks like all of us are living the dream. 129 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:29,067 [Debussy's "Clair de Lune" playing] 130 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:32,027 ♪ ♪ 131 00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:53,590 CAPTAIN [over P.A.]: Folks, we'll be landing in San Diego soon. 132 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,964 On the right side you can see the Pacific Ocean, 133 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:59,141 and on the left, oh, I think there's Superman flying 134 00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,447 - right behind us. - Oh. 135 00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:04,581 Oh, don't patronize us, please. 136 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:08,846 Hmm. Mm-hmm. 137 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:12,372 - Working on questions to ask at the panels? - Yes. 138 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:16,027 Well, I've been going since '75. Seen it all. 139 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:19,988 Adam West in shorts, a line to meet Brendan Fraser. 140 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,730 But you know the most amazing thing I ever saw? 141 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:26,951 - What? - Once, a guy asked a question so good, 142 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,867 he got a job with Marvel on the spot. 143 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,130 Ooh, me write for Marvel? 144 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,024 Be a part of the committee that would decide 145 00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:35,960 the fate of the Avengers? 146 00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:38,223 Then people like me could make fun of me. 147 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,574 But those ain't gonna cut it, fanboy. 148 00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:44,142 Then I will write the best question ever. 149 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,188 Was he real or... 150 00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,972 Of course I'm real, and a real person 151 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,671 should never be booked between you and this guy. 152 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,324 I am Groot. 153 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,978 Kosher meal for Steve Fishbein. 154 00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,327 I am Steve Fishbein. 155 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,986 Comicalooza, even more glorious than I dreamed. 156 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,814 [clank] 157 00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:09,603 I should not have done that. Very stupid. 158 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:13,041 Every man a Batman, every woman a Harley Quinn. 159 00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:20,614 The chance to rub elbows with the who's who of Dr. Who. 160 00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:24,008 And to ride an escalator next to Ant-Man Paul Rudd! 161 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,184 You are Ant-Man Paul Rudd. 162 00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:30,711 Oh, God, I hate my approachable everyman looks. 163 00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:33,061 Yes, a question, please, from someone who is 164 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,541 still willing to become a fan. 165 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:36,586 If you had access to an Avengers-style 166 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,067 quantum time loop, would you go back in time 167 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,765 and not be in Dinner for Schmucks? 168 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,332 Activate VIP pass. 169 00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,247 [dance music playing] 170 00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,728 [gasps]: For two seconds I saw inside the VIP room. 171 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,730 I saw Jon Favreau sniffing hummus 172 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,383 to see if it was still good. 173 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:54,561 [inhales sharply] Time for a celebratory pretzel. 174 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,215 Rib-it, rib-it. 175 00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,391 Who are you? 176 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,437 Boba Fett on a job interview. 177 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,527 Well, begone. I'm writing the perfect panel question. 178 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,529 Get out of here. 179 00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,444 [marker squeaking] 180 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,315 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I have it. 181 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,622 "Are superheroes America's new religion? 182 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:15,930 And if so, shouldn't comic book profits be tax-free?" 183 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,585 [triumphant fanfare] 184 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,108 I will work for Marvel, 185 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:23,067 and they will finally be successful. 186 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,939 Hey, good question. 187 00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:26,418 Thank you, Professor X. 188 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,246 I'm not Professor X. 189 00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,771 I am just a bald man in a wheelchair 190 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:33,774 searching for his child. 191 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:36,298 - Hey, Lisa. - Oh, hey, Blake. 192 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,996 This is where I eat when I want to be alone. 193 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,868 Uh, I don't want to be alone, though. 194 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:44,262 Um, want to share wasabi peas? They're really dry. 195 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:45,437 Are you a veggie? 196 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,309 - Yes, I am. - Me, too. 197 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:51,313 This is a BLT: bread, lettuce and tomato. 198 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,750 Hey, quit talking to my girlfriend. 199 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:56,100 I am not your girlfriend. 200 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,841 Right, right. We're focused on 201 00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,278 career days and homework right now. 202 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,325 - But love has a way of... - Get away from me. 203 00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:07,111 Oh, my God, Lisa, we've become my parents. 204 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,940 Well, I just wanted to wish you good luck and, uh... 205 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,116 [blows sharply] 206 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,730 [smooth jazz playing] 207 00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,831 [buzzing like insects] 208 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,834 - [loud zap] - [notes cry out] 209 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:37,620 Ah, my favorite sound: silence. 210 00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,014 [chuckling]: See ya. 211 00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,512 Okay, a little bigger than I thought. 212 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,211 Oh, boy, it's like Burning Man for nerds, although 213 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,214 to be fair, Burning Man is also Burning Man for nerds. 214 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,172 Man, there's a lot of nerds. 215 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,000 Hello, Hall H. 216 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:13,525 Let's let out a roar they can hear in Asgard. 217 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,876 Question, isn't sound to Asgard blocked 218 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,486 by the vacuum of space? 219 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:20,707 Actually, sound is transmitted by Yggdrasil, 220 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:23,013 the tree that connects the nine worlds of the cosmos. 221 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,556 But transmission doesn't come into it. 222 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,103 This has never not been true. 223 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:29,367 - [overlapping arguing] - Have you ever read Thor? 224 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:32,109 Wha-What? Whoa. 225 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,895 We have some of the greatest creators in the industry here. 226 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:38,072 Daniel Kim, Zoe Burwell, 227 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,943 and David Z. Cohen! 228 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:43,077 [cheering] 229 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,924 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 230 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,211 I've been blocked on Twitter by all of them. 231 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:51,607 And now it's time for... audience questions. 232 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,088 [microphone feedback] 233 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,481 Yes. Third position. 234 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,570 Time to prepare. And just two steps to the mic. 235 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,181 It's perfect. 236 00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,053 Um, I-I'd like to ask, how would someone like me 237 00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:06,100 get someone like you to-to look at my work? 238 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,449 I'll look at your work. 239 00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:10,104 Uh, actually, uh, I-I don't... 240 00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:12,933 I don't have any work, per se. 241 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,935 Next. 242 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,763 Closer to me. Closer to me. 243 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,983 [panting, grunting] 244 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,942 Isn't it true that Superman represented 245 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,945 the subconscious desire of creators Jerry Siegel 246 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:29,166 and Joe Shuster to defeat the Nazi menace in 1938? 247 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,081 Wow. Wow. 248 00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:32,815 I have never heard a question that good. 249 00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:35,303 [cheering, applause] 250 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,913 Oh, yes, yes, good question. 251 00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:39,960 And I believe the answer is "a-doy." 252 00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:43,615 And now for the query that will blow them away. 253 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,705 Uh, uh, where's my question? 254 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,663 Ha, did I use it as a napkin? 255 00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:50,187 No, I never use a napkin. Ugh, where is it? 256 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:52,624 - Next! - Um, uh... 257 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,844 Yes, my question is, um, uh... 258 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,412 Okay, I forgot my question. 259 00:11:57,586 --> 00:12:00,328 Worst question ever. 260 00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:02,809 - No! - [laughter] 261 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,985 Welcome to Marvel. 262 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,204 [crying]: No. 263 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,990 We could offer you a job at DC. 264 00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,905 Yes, hard pass. 265 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,646 Ugh. Just when I thought this day could not get any worse. 266 00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,518 [laughs] 267 00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:20,565 Okay, the day you've been waiting for: chair challenges. 268 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,699 We begin with Ralph challenging for first triangle. 269 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,181 [grunts] I'm halfway through. 270 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:30,880 Once again, first triangle will be an empty chair. 271 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,013 The better chair won. 272 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,885 Now, for first saxophone, Lisa Simpson. 273 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:38,540 Hey, vegetarian, I soaked your reed 274 00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:39,846 - in hot dog water. - [gasps] 275 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:41,804 Ew, ew, ew. 276 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,284 [saxophone playing] 277 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,895 Terrible. Blake? 278 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,550 - [saxophone plays] - Terrible, but better. 279 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,378 - You're first chair. - [gasps] 280 00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,033 You were playing me the whole time. 281 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,991 [school bell rings] 282 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,167 Don't you walk away from me. 283 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,866 Well, very soon, I will outplay you, 284 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,042 my blues will be blue-ier, 285 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:04,044 my "Baker Street" will be more baked, 286 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,002 and I will get my chair back. 287 00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:08,570 It may not be today, or tomorrow, 288 00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,920 because tomorrow we have a field trip, 289 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:14,054 or two days after that because that's... 290 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:17,405 that's no school, but-but on the 11th. 291 00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:20,016 Yeah, the 11th, it's mine, buddy. 292 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,409 That's the science fair. 293 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:23,541 Aah! Thanks for reminding me! 294 00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:24,891 [shouts] 295 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:29,373 Okay, audition for King of Cookie Castle, take one. 296 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,941 Okay, you got this, Phil. Book it, book it good. 297 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,465 - We ready? - Off with their heads. 298 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,076 Off with their feet. 299 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:39,122 Grind the rest into a sugary treat. 300 00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,429 Beautiful, you got the part. 301 00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:43,910 Beautiful, you got the fart. [fart noise] 302 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,303 [laughs] Hey, the kid's not bad. 303 00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,088 We might have a part for him, too. 304 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:51,439 And if he improvises like that, I can fire the writers. 305 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,049 Read this, kid. 306 00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,965 [English accent]: Eat my tights. 307 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,619 - You're hired. - Wow. 308 00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:00,622 Who knew it was so easy to become a working actor? 309 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,319 MARGE: Hmm. 310 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,974 Okay, everyone say one thing they did today. 311 00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,323 I'll start. 312 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,412 I lost my half-cup measuring cup, 313 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,979 so I used two quarter cups. 314 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,807 Crisis averted. 315 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:14,090 I booked a voice-over job, and the show airs tomorrow. 316 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:16,116 I thought animation took nine months. 317 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,596 No, you can do any cartoon in a day. 318 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:21,643 Anyone who takes longer is just trying to bleed the studio dry. 319 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:24,080 And this is what they're paying me. 320 00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:25,821 [scoffs] That's baloney. 321 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,910 Anybody could fake a check from... 322 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:30,260 "Warner Bros. Animation." 323 00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:32,001 No, it's legit. 324 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,961 I made more in a minute than you do in a month, fatso. 325 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,876 - Why, you little... - Uhp-uhp-uhp. 326 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,747 Keep your hands off the moneymaker. 327 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,159 And don't look me in the voice. 328 00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:43,534 [grunts] Lisa, how was your day? 329 00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,972 Well, my life is in ruin, 330 00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,975 and I'm trying to think of some possible plan to rescue myself. 331 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:50,541 Plans are fine, 332 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,457 but never underestimate the power of giving up. 333 00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:57,200 Because if you think about it, see, uh, s-spontan-- 334 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,854 eh, forget it. 335 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:01,509 ANNOUNCER: Coming up, Cookie Castle, 336 00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:03,685 introducing Bart Simpson. 337 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:06,340 Oh, I still think we all could have fit. 338 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,819 Now get a good look. 339 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,778 This is your last chance to see normal Bart 340 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,563 before I become a star. 341 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:15,349 Then I'll be the guy who sells you out with a tell-all book. 342 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,003 Boo-yeah. 343 00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:23,487 [cheering, applause] 344 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,054 Yeah, go, Bart. 345 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,883 [gasps] You got the "and" credit. 346 00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:32,061 I negotiated that, in lieu of having a teacher on set. Bam. 347 00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:33,845 [lions growl] 348 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:40,200 I kneel before you, Jules. 349 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,028 BART'S VOICE: Rise, sir knight, 350 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:45,161 and kiss the gentle hand of your sovereign. 351 00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,728 You play a girl? 352 00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,077 - [laughter] - Come on. 353 00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,514 [gasps] They didn't tell me that. 354 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,777 My place is in the scullery. 355 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:56,912 [groans] I thought "scullery" was where they kept the skulls. 356 00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,437 [singsongy]: Bart plays a girl, Bart plays a girl. 357 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:03,049 And his accent's inconsistent. 358 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,398 [groans] 359 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,057 ♪ ♪ 360 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,196 [knocking on door] 361 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,893 - Bart? - [Bart groans] 362 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,069 Go away. 363 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,332 No, I'm-I'm not gonna tease you. 364 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,422 I'm proud that my brother isn't bound by gender stereotypes 365 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:31,077 or heteronormative thinking. 366 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,470 Ugh. I hate the way your generation talks. 367 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,298 I have something to tell you. 368 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:38,084 Oh, don't tell me I'm nominated for an Annie Award. 369 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:41,261 - Those things are worthless. - Much more important. 370 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:43,654 For my problem, there's no answer. 371 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:47,484 But what you're doing is brave, and it's a little dangerous, 372 00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:48,877 and you should be proud. 373 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:50,051 Really? 374 00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:51,793 That's right, my friend. 375 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,665 You should walk into school with your head held high. 376 00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,841 All right, I will. 377 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,279 Hey, everyone, I'm Princess Jules 378 00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:01,150 and I'm proud. 379 00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:02,586 JIMBO: One question: 380 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,415 do you identify as "him" or "her?" 381 00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,113 - Him. - Get him! 382 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,898 [grunting] 383 00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,465 [humming] 384 00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:15,034 [gasps] Uh, y-you're not gonna yell at me? 385 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:18,472 No. I have lost my will to berate. 386 00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:20,082 Aw, I'm sorry. 387 00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:23,129 Ralph Wiggum feels sorry for me. 388 00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,653 And farther still do I fall. 389 00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:28,003 This will be here for me later. 390 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:31,485 Leave me alone. Get out of here, you stupid kid. 391 00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,661 You're like a Gollum with worse hair, 392 00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:36,185 a subcommittee meeting of the Galactic Senate, 393 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,928 a Spider-Man drawn by John Romita Jr. Jr. 394 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,452 Uh-- you fixed me. 395 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:45,412 - You fixed me. - Yay! 396 00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,329 Let's see, where could I move? 397 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,419 Toluca Lake. Lot of voice-over work there. 398 00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:54,812 It would be nice to fly in and out of Burbank. 399 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,205 [phone ringing] 400 00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,033 Bart, turn on your show. 401 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,035 You mean the show that ruined my life? 402 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:03,038 Just turn it on. You're not a princess anymore. 403 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:05,127 You're a queen. 404 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,824 WARRIOR: Majesty, 405 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:10,001 the royal unicorn is waiting for your dainty bottom. 406 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,568 Aw, geez. 407 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:12,787 [unicorn snorts] 408 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,310 [neighs] 409 00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,182 [grunts, screams] 410 00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:17,966 [gasps] 411 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,011 [phone chiming] 412 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:23,406 Whoa. Who knew a princess could be badass? 413 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:26,061 I'm gonna get a Queen Bart action figure. 414 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,369 Whoa. The unicorn's killed every adult in sight. 415 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,117 [unicorn neighing] 416 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,039 From now on, hands off Bart. 417 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,564 What about me? 418 00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,567 I like the bullying. It's a form of attention. 419 00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,526 Also, hands off Milhouse. 420 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,006 No. 421 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,834 -[car alarm ringing] -LISA: Well, 422 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:03,272 I can't play to my abilities or in a stupid first chair, 423 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:06,057 but I can still just play for the fun of it. 424 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,321 Beat it. This is our turf. 425 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:14,109 ♪ ♪ 426 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,260 [applause] 427 00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:35,913 Free pretzel? 428 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,089 The greatest award I've ever won. 429 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:42,833 Still up there. 430 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,749 Although Dad ate the original pretzel. 431 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,925 Stick it on the tray. 432 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:49,231 - No. - D'oh. 433 00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:56,107 I'm addicted to playing for free. 434 00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,675 Which is the least dangerous addiction a musician can have. 435 00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,808 ♪ ♪ 436 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,423 I want to like it. I just don't. 437 00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:18,478 If you could go back in time and not make one Hulk movie, 438 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:22,656 which would it be and why? 439 00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,048 The most popular superheroes 440 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,503 are Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, 441 00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:30,011 so I propose creating SuperSpiderBat. 442 00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:33,014 Why do people who see Superman first think "It's a bird"? 443 00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:35,495 And why do they feel the need to say it out loud? 444 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:39,020 "Look, it's a bird." I mean, who says that? 445 00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:47,420 BLAKE: ♪ Any note you can reach, I can go higher ♪ 446 00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,118 LISA: ♪ I can sing anything higher than you ♪ 447 00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,773 - BLAKE:♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ - ♪ Yes, I can ♪ 448 00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:55,471 - LISA:♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ - ♪ No, you can't ♪ 449 00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:58,126 - BLAKE:♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ - ♪ Yes, I can ♪ 450 00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,781 - LISA:♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ - ♪ No, you can't ♪ 451 00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,479 - BLAKE:♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ - ♪ Yes, I can ♪ 452 00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,134 - LISA:♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ - ♪ No, you can't ♪ 453 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,789 - BLAKE:♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ - ♪ Yes, I can ♪ 454 00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:11,270 - LISA:♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ - ♪ No, you can't ♪ 455 00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,359 -BLAKE:♪ No, you can't♪ -LISA:♪ Yes, I can ♪ 456 00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:14,901 BLAKE:♪ No, you can't, no, you can't, no, you can't!♪ 457 00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:16,365 LISA: All right, I can't. Big whoop. 458 00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:18,973 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 459 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,236 Shh!